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: I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
[crashes through Timmy's bedroom door with a battering ram
: [Seeing Mr. Crocker in a dress on the computer
] Timmy, you know you're not supposed to be on those kind of websites! Timmy Turner
: But that's my teacher. Dad Turner
: Well, it does make him look pretty!
: [to Wanda
] Pull my wand.
[Makes a loud farting noise
] Dad Turner
: Whoa, what has your mother been feeding you?
: Ha, I'm a genius! Now I'm gonna go make ice cream out of bird seed and gum!
[Mom Turner and Dad Turner are in a tank
] Mom Turner
: Wasn't that the Dinkleburgs' car? Dad Turner
: I hope so, that's what I was aiming for.
: Why don't I get to go to the nice clink?
: *gasp* Hey! You're the guy on the money! Will you sign this? George Washington
: Who am I, John Hancock?
: *Gasp* And that's the guy on the hundred! If I can't touch the money, can I at least touch him? Benjamin Franklin
: Excuse me!
: [after going back in time and Cosmo tells the Young Bill Gates to call the internet the Timmy
] Hey, Dad, whatchya doin? Dad Turner
: Just looking for a new trophy of the Timmy computer network.
: This is me graduating Dictator College Dad Turner
: And this is me taking over the world... with smiles! Dad Turner
: AAAAANNNNND Dad Turner
: This is where I'd put a trophy Dad Turner
: IF I HAD ONE! Dad Turner
: Sorry, must be happy Dad Turner
: but the happy's back!
: He's stealing second! Cosmo
: Third! Man
: My wallet! Woman
: My watch! Dad Turner
: My pants! Mom Turner
: You came without those, sweetie! Dad Turner
: [reaches into pocket of restored pants
] A coupon for 'Timmy-Os'? Those are for pack-mules!
: And that's the truth.
: Maybe Timmy's right. Maybe we do fudge the truth too much. Dad
: Now honey, I'm sure Timmy's overreacting. Let's just pop in the tape and see how long it takes to catch ourselves in a little white lie. Mom
: You're right. I'll bet there's not a single lie on any of these tapes.
[Scene of older footage of the Turner family on videotape
: The stork. Dad
: Wow. That was quick.
: Maybe I should start doing the things on my bucket list.
[picks up bucket with paper sticking out of it
: Wait, this isn't the list; it's a receipt for the bucket. Oh, oh, here it is! Eh, let's see... Buy bucket. Did that. Ooh, join some kind of club. Let's see if the paper has any clubs listed.
[starts reading newspaper
: Sewing club. That sounds like fun. Timmy
: [looks at newspaper headline, "You're doomed, Timmy Turner!" and screams in terror
: What is it, Timmy? Have you heard not so good things about the sewing club? Timmy
: No, Dad. My sworn enemies have teamed up to destroy me. Dad
: So, the sewing club is fine then? Oh, that's a relief! See ya!
[throws newspaper on Timmy's head and runs off
: Welcome to the Secret Fairy RV & Boat Show! Cosmo
: Look at me! I'm seaworthy! Look at the size of my poop deck!
] Dad Turner
: Ewww! Jeez, son. If you're gonna do that, shut the door. Not mine!
: [Repeated line
] Snkaaa... Egg... Sknaaa... Nog... Sknaaa... Eggnog!
: [Timmy encounters a newly-constructed building on the island they are stranded on
] Whoa! What is this? Dad
: Eeh, it's a boat store. Everyone knows you can't get a boat without a boat store. Timmy
: Uh, wouldn't it be easier to just build a boat? Dad
: Sure, Timmy. And it would be easier to count to 7 if 7 came before 5. But, life doesn't work that way. Timmy
: OK, look. I think you've been out in the sun a little too long.
: It's Christmas? Timmy's Mom
: This year I'm asking Santa for something practical, a new computer. Timmy's Dad
: I want something practical to, a magical pony who poops ice cream, then he eats the ice cream and poops gold then he eats the gold, and he poops out a Motorcycle, and we all ride away.