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Quotes for
Mr. Turner (Character)
from "The Fairly OddParents" (2001)

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"The Fairly OddParents: Information Stupor Highway (#3.1)" (2003)
Dad Turner: I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway.
[crashes through Timmy's bedroom door with a battering ram]

Dad Turner: [Seeing Mr. Crocker in a dress on the computer] Timmy, you know you're not supposed to be on those kind of websites!
Timmy Turner: But that's my teacher.
Dad Turner: Well, it does make him look pretty!

Cosmo: [to Wanda] Pull my wand.
[Makes a loud farting noise]
Dad Turner: Whoa, what has your mother been feeding you?

Dad Turner: Ha, I'm a genius! Now I'm gonna go make ice cream out of bird seed and gum!

"The Fairly OddParents: Boy Toy/Inspection Detection (#2.2)" (2002)
[Mom Turner and Dad Turner are in a tank]
Mom Turner: Wasn't that the Dinkleburgs' car?
Dad Turner: I hope so, that's what I was aiming for.

Dad Turner: Why don't I get to go to the nice clink?

"The Fairly OddParents: Hail to the Chief/Twistory (#2.10)" (2002)
Dad Turner: *gasp* Hey! You're the guy on the money! Will you sign this?
George Washington: Who am I, John Hancock?

Dad Turner: *Gasp* And that's the guy on the hundred! If I can't touch the money, can I at least touch him?
Benjamin Franklin: Excuse me!

"The Fairly OddParents: Father Time!/Apartnership! (#1.4)" (2001)
Timmy Turner: [after going back in time and Cosmo tells the Young Bill Gates to call the internet the Timmy] Hey, Dad, whatchya doin?
Dad Turner: Just looking for a new trophy of the Timmy computer network.

Dad Turner: This is me graduating Dictator College
Dad Turner: And this is me taking over the world... with smiles!
Dad Turner: This is where I'd put a trophy
Dad Turner: IF I HAD ONE!
Dad Turner: Sorry, must be happy
Dad Turner: but the happy's back!

"The Fairly OddParents: Foul Balled/The Boy Who Would Be Queen (#2.6)" (2002)
Wanda: He's stealing second!
Cosmo: Third!
Man: My wallet!
Woman: My watch!
Dad Turner: My pants!
Mom Turner: You came without those, sweetie!
Dad Turner: Right!

Dad Turner: [reaches into pocket of restored pants] A coupon for 'Timmy-Os'? Those are for pack-mules!

"The Fairly OddParents: Abra Catastrophe! (#3.9)" (2003)
Mom, Dad: And that's the truth.

Mom: Maybe Timmy's right. Maybe we do fudge the truth too much.
Dad: Now honey, I'm sure Timmy's overreacting. Let's just pop in the tape and see how long it takes to catch ourselves in a little white lie.
Mom: You're right. I'll bet there's not a single lie on any of these tapes.
[Scene of older footage of the Turner family on videotape]
Mom, Dad: The stork.
Dad: Wow. That was quick.

"The Fairly OddParents: When L.O.S.E.R.S. Attack (#8.9)" (2011)
Dad: Maybe I should start doing the things on my bucket list.
[picks up bucket with paper sticking out of it]
Dad: Wait, this isn't the list; it's a receipt for the bucket. Oh, oh, here it is! Eh, let's see... Buy bucket. Did that. Ooh, join some kind of club. Let's see if the paper has any clubs listed.
[starts reading newspaper]
Dad: Sewing club. That sounds like fun.
Timmy: [looks at newspaper headline, "You're doomed, Timmy Turner!" and screams in terror]
Timmy: What is it, Timmy? Have you heard not so good things about the sewing club?
Timmy: No, Dad. My sworn enemies have teamed up to destroy me.
Dad: So, the sewing club is fine then? Oh, that's a relief! See ya!
[throws newspaper on Timmy's head and runs off]

"The Fairly OddParents: Cosmo Con/Wanda's Day Off (#2.15)" (2003)
Wanda: Welcome to the Secret Fairy RV & Boat Show!
Cosmo: Look at me! I'm seaworthy! Look at the size of my poop deck!
[blows horn]
Dad Turner: Ewww! Jeez, son. If you're gonna do that, shut the door. Not mine!

"The Fairly OddParents: Christmas Every Day! (#1.7)" (2001)
Dad: [Repeated line] Snkaaa... Egg... Sknaaa... Nog... Sknaaa... Eggnog!

"The Fairly OddParents: Lights Out/Dad Overboard (#8.6)" (2011)
Timmy: [Timmy encounters a newly-constructed building on the island they are stranded on] Whoa! What is this?
Dad: Eeh, it's a boat store. Everyone knows you can't get a boat without a boat store.
Timmy: Uh, wouldn't it be easier to just build a boat?
Dad: Sure, Timmy. And it would be easier to count to 7 if 7 came before 5. But, life doesn't work that way.
Timmy: OK, look. I think you've been out in the sun a little too long.

A Fairly Odd Christmas (2012) (TV)
Timmy's Dad: It's Christmas?
Timmy's Mom: This year I'm asking Santa for something practical, a new computer.
Timmy's Dad: I want something practical to, a magical pony who poops ice cream, then he eats the ice cream and poops gold then he eats the gold, and he poops out a Motorcycle, and we all ride away.