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: Judy, you've got a date with Cassius tonight, right? Judy
: A *date*? Mom and Dad *dated*, Dougie. *Dating* went out with bell bottoms. Doug
: But you're wearing bell bottoms. Judy
: Don't get smart.
] I wanted to see what a regular, normal person did on a date, but I had to settle for Judy.
: [Roger is standing outside of what he thinks is Judy's window
] What light through yonder window breaks? It is the sun, and Judy is the east. Doug
: Roger! Roger Klotz
: [Begins climbing up the ladder to the window
] It is my lady, it is my love. O that she knew she were. O come to the window, will you, my love?
[the window opens to reveal Mrs. Dink wearing curlers and a facial mask
] Mrs. Dink
: Nice try, Romeo, but you're about thirty years too late.
Douglas Yancy 'Doug' Funnie
: [after confessing to his parents about seeing Targetman after he was told not to
] The movie was lousy, it cost too much, and it gave me nightmares, but at least it tought me a valuable lesson in maturity. I've decided to take on a bit more responsibility around the house. Mosquito 'Skeeter' Valentine
: So, in other words... Mosquito 'Skeeter' Valentine
, Patricia 'Patti' Mayonnaise
: ...You're grounded. Douglas Yancy 'Doug' Funnie
: What's going on in there Doug? Doug
: [peers through Bebe's window to see Porckhop and the girls doing the limbo
] You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
: Dark clothes. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: What? Larry the A.V. Nerd
: And vertical stripes hide it easier. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: Hide what?
] Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: My fat? Connie Benge
: Oh, we're not fat, Doug.
] Connie Benge
: I'm big boned. Larry the A.V. Nerd
: And-and-and I'm stout. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: Well, what am I? Larry the A.V. Nerd
, Connie Benge
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: [holds up a pair of polka-dot briefs
] Here, Funnie, put these on. Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie
: No thanks, Roger. I'm wearing my own underwear.