Doug Funnie
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Quotes for
Doug Funnie (Character)
from "Doug" (1991)

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"Doug: Doug's Bum Rap/Doug & Patti Sittin' in a Tree (#4.2)" (1994)
Doug: Judy, you've got a date with Cassius tonight, right?
Judy: A *date*? Mom and Dad *dated*, Dougie. *Dating* went out with bell bottoms.
Doug: But you're wearing bell bottoms.
Judy: Don't get smart.

Doug: [Narrating] I wanted to see what a regular, normal person did on a date, but I had to settle for Judy.


"Doug: Doug's on Stage/Doug's Worst Nightmare (#2.5)" (1992)
Roger Klotz: [Roger is standing outside of what he thinks is Judy's window] What light through yonder window breaks? It is the sun, and Judy is the east.
Doug: Roger!
Roger Klotz: [Begins climbing up the ladder to the window] It is my lady, it is my love. O that she knew she were. O come to the window, will you, my love?
[the window opens to reveal Mrs. Dink wearing curlers and a facial mask]
Mrs. Dink: Nice try, Romeo, but you're about thirty years too late.


"Disney's Doug: Doug's Movie Madness (#1.12)" (1996)
Douglas Yancy 'Doug' Funnie: [after confessing to his parents about seeing Targetman after he was told not to] The movie was lousy, it cost too much, and it gave me nightmares, but at least it tought me a valuable lesson in maturity. I've decided to take on a bit more responsibility around the house.
Mosquito 'Skeeter' Valentine: So, in other words...
Mosquito 'Skeeter' Valentine, Patricia 'Patti' Mayonnaise: ...You're grounded.
Douglas Yancy 'Doug' Funnie: Yep.


"Doug: Doug Takes the Case/Doug's Secret Song (#2.1)" (1992)
Skeeter: What's going on in there Doug?
Doug: [peers through Bebe's window to see Porckhop and the girls doing the limbo] You wouldn't believe me if I told you.


"Doug: Doug Door to Door/Doug Tips the Scales (#4.3)" (1994)
Connie Benge: Dark clothes.
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: What?
Larry the A.V. Nerd: And vertical stripes hide it easier.
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: Hide what?
[grabs stomach]
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: My fat?
Connie Benge: Oh, we're not fat, Doug.
[flexes]
Connie Benge: I'm big boned.
Larry the A.V. Nerd: And-and-and I'm stout.
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: Well, what am I?
Larry the A.V. Nerd, Connie Benge: Husky.


"Doug: Doug Battles the Rulemeister/Doug's a Genius (#2.7)" (1992)
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: [holds up a pair of polka-dot briefs] Here, Funnie, put these on.
Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie: No thanks, Roger. I'm wearing my own underwear.