Commander Shepard
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Quotes for
Commander Shepard (Character)
from Mass Effect (2007) (VG)

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Mass Effect 2 (2010) (VG)
The Illusive Man: Shepard, you're making a habit of costing me more than time and money.
Commander Shepard: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you- I'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.

Commander Shepard: [discussing 'sparring'] So when should I book the room?
Garrus Vakarian: I'd wait if you're OK with it. Disrupt the crew a little as possible. Take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.
[Shepard gives Garrus a knowing smirk]
Garrus Vakarian: Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

Gatatog Uvenk: You know what tradition demands. Clan Urdnot must respond. Your reforms will not go unopposed! You risk appearing weak at a critical time!
Urdnot Wrex: [notices Shepard approaching] Shepard!
[walks up and embraces her]
Urdnot Wrex: Shepard! My friend! You look well for dead. I should have known the void couldn't hold you.
Commander Shepard: Looks like helping me destroy Saren and the geth has worked out for you. Glad we didn't have to kill each other on Virmire.
Urdnot Wrex: Ha! You made the rise of Urdnot possible. Virmire was a turning point for the krogan, though not everyone was happy about it. Destroying Saren's genophage cure freed us from his manipulation. I used that to spur the clans to unify under Urdnot.
Gatatog Uvenk: You abandoned many traditions to get your way. Dangerous...
Urdnot Wrex: [turns and headbutts Uvenk] Speak when spoken to, Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.

Harrot: Tentatively excited: Welcome human. What can I get for you?
Commander Shepard: Tell me about your "deal" with the quarian over there.
Harrot: Suspicious: If I had made such a deal, I would not be inclined to discuss it. Accusatory: I don't understand how it is any concern of yours.
Commander Shepard: What if you and I make a deal? You let him set his own prices, and I won't break your legs.
Harrot: With barely contained terror: You drive a hard bargain, human.
Commander Shepard: I haven't even started.
Harrot: Resignation: Very well. I will release the quarian from his promise.

Commander Shepard: I take it you're a scientist?
Fortack: I used to be a scientist. I designed weapons. Now my genius is wasted on frivolous things. Things that don't explode. My predecessor said no one would understand the true worth of my work. As I pulled my blade from his chest, I knew he was telling the truth.
Commander Shepard: Not exactly what I would call effective academic peer review.

Commander Shepard: What sound will you make when you hit the ground? You think you'll hear it before you die?

Additional Voices: Are you the one who killed the merc?
Commander Shepard: I've killed a lot of mercs today, but I can't take credit for him.

Commander Shepard: [When asked to relinquish weapons] I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?

Commander Shepard: [Threatening to push a merc to his death] You're got two ways down, express, or coach.

Commander Shepard: I couldn't do this without you, Garrus.
Garrus Vakarian: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

Kenneth Donnelly: You're the best, Commander. We just got those FBA couplings installed. Now we only have to calibrate every week instead of every day. We're thinking about celebrating our newfound free time with some Skyllian-Five poker. Want to join us?
Engineer Gabriella Daniels: Come on Kenneth. The Commander doesn't want to play cards with grease monkeys like us.
Commander Shepard: Actually, that sounds interesting.
Kenneth Donnelly: You in, Tali?
Tali'Zorah: Sure, that sounds fun.
Kenneth Donnelly: Fantastic! I'll get the cards.
Commander Shepard: I hope you're up for some competition.
Tali'Zorah: Oh no. What did I get myself into?
Kenneth Donnelly: This should be good.
[Shepard wins 100 credits]
Engineer Gabriella Daniels: Shit. You play some mean cards, Shepard. I've never seen Kenneth sweat like that.
Tali'Zorah: And I thought I had a good poker face...

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Perhaps later. Trying to determine how scale itch got onto Normandy, sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications... unpleasant.

Commander Shepard: I need Grunt back up to speed. What's wrong with him?
Urdnot Wrex: There's nothing wrong with him. He's becoming a full adult.
Garrus Vakarian: Adolescence? Can't we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?

Commander Shepard: How is it when I ask for someones help they never say sure no problem. No strings attached.

Jacob Taylor: Commander. We've done what we could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit. The docs corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality, but...
[Garrus enters the room]
Garrus Vakarian: Shepard.
Jacob Taylor: Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet.
Garrus Vakarian: Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?
Commander Shepard: They did what they could, but you're going to have some scars. I'm sorry.
Garrus Vakarian: Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of these women are Krogan.

Commander Shepard: I assume everything is going well up here?
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: I really want a chance to put the Normandy through her paces. I just have to trim up the drive output and it'll be like we never lost her.
EDI: Safety standards advise against manipulating drive settings while engines are powered and in use, Mr. Moreau.
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Commander, can we shut this thing off? I don't need it in my day-to-day.
Commander Shepard: If you don't want to hear it, turn the damn sound off.
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: That doesn't change anything. It's still watching. Like some creepy kid staring at the back of your head in comp sci. You just want to... punch him... but he's "special" and sets fires or something.

Weyrloc Clanspeaker: I am the speaker for Clan Weyrloc, offworlders. You have shed our blood. By rights, you should be dead already. But Weyrloc Guld, the Chief of Chiefs, has ordered that you be given leave to flee and spread the message of our coming.
Commander Shepard: If I flee, I might trip over the dozen krogan I killed to get here. I think I'll take my chances.

Commander Shepard: Would you like to talk about what happened with Tali?
Legion: Unnecessary. Creator Tali'Zorah was afraid of us. Shepard-Commander is afraid of us. We understand. Organics do not choose to fear us. It is a function of your hardware.
Commander Shepard: True. But I should be above that. I'm saying that I regret what happened. I have no reason to distrust you. You've been perfectly loyal to us all along.
Legion: Our analysis of organic humor suggests an 87.3% chance that you expect us to respond with, "You are only human."

Commander Shepard: It looks like this place has recovered from Sovereign's attack.
Avina: Repair of the damage from the geth attack is ongoing. There is still extensive damage on Tayseri Ward.
Commander Shepard: Geth? It was Sovereign who led the attack. A Reaper.
Avina: I have no information on a "Reaper." References to this term exist in some para-historical theories on galactic extinction cycles.
Legion: Social engineering. The Council blames the geth. Repeat the lie enough, they will not worry about the Reapers.

Commander Shepard: The last time we talked, you started speaking about a past event as if you were watching it.
Thane Krios: Drell have perfect memories. We can relive any moment in our life with perfect clarity. It's difficult to control at times. Some of us disappear into... well, let's call it "solipsism."
Commander Shepard: What do you mean, solipsism?
Thane Krios: When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life. Thinking about a moment brings back the smell of cut grass, the warmth of another's hand on yours, the taste of another's tongue in your mouth. Wouldn't you rather lose yourself in such a memory then spend the night alone, staring at walls of metal and plastic?
Commander Shepard: Isn't that a rather personal memory to talk about?
Thane Krios: Forgive me. Lately I have spent a great deal of time reviewing my life. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
Commander Shepard: Isn't there a risk that you could lose yourself in bad memories as well?
Thane Krios: Of course. Remembering the times I've taken bullets is... unpleasant. But I can look at my knee and see it's not shattered. The memories that are hard to escape are those of despair.
Commander Shepard: You can remember everything that happened in your life?
Thane Krios: Nearly. I expect if we remembered the birth trauma, we'd never recover from it.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters. Aware that mission is dangerous, different species react differently to stress. Aware you come by a great deal. Have had other species become attracted to me before. Awkward. Not interested.
Commander Shepard: You've had members of another species make a pass at you?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Constantly. Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of Krogan sexual deviants enjoy Salarian flexibility. More cartilage in skeletal structure. Asari offers intriguing, actually. Wonder why. Trans-species pheromones unlikely to work. Must be neuro-chemical.
Commander Shepard: I appreciate you letting me down easy.
Prof. Mordin Solus: No offense intended. Salarian reproduction different. Very little sex drive. If intended to try Human, would try you. Glad you stopped by. Clear the air.

Commander Shepard: So, the man cleaning the toilets is also preparing the meals?
Mess Sergeant Rupert Gardner: Hey, I wash my hands... most of the time.

Urdnot Wrex: Now, Shepard. What brings you here? How's the Normandy?
Commander Shepard: Destroyed in a Collector surprise attack. I ended up spaced.
Urdnot Wrex: Well, you look good. Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system!
Commander Shepard: Yeah, humans don't have that.
Urdnot Wrex: Oh. It must have been painful, then.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Some other time. About to test new bio weapon. Not on us, of course. Didn't think I had to specify, but Joker got nervous.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Having trouble working between your interruptions and EDI's insistence that "insane" experiments endanger the entire crew. Hard to concentrate. Bad for morale.

Sergeant Haron: Sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am. Our scanners are picking up false readings. They seem to think you're, ah, dead.
Commander Shepard: I was only mostly dead. Try finding that option on government paperwork.

Commander Shepard: It's been awhile since I've passed through here. Security seems to have tightened a bit
C-Sec Customs: After the Geth attack, there was a review of security protocol. A few minor changes were made to reduce the risk of Geth infiltration. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Legion: Geth do not infiltrate.
C-Sec Customs: You should leave your personal synthetic assistant at home. They're not allowed on public shuttles any more.
Legion: Geth do not intentionally infiltrate.

Commander Shepard: [ordering a drink while heavily intoxicated] Put more of the stuff in the... the thing more stuff goes in.

Jack: I'm not going anywhere with you! You're Cerberus!
Commander Shepard: Why does it matter if I'm with Cerberus?
Jack: They've been on my ass for years. Anytime I get free, they put a huge bounty on me. That's why Warden Kuril figured he'd struck gold when he caught me.
Miranda Lawson: She's destroyed Cerberus property and killed Cerberus people, hence the bounty.
Jack: [to Miranda] You die first.

Commander Shepard: If you want to help Urdnot you'd need to get back there. But It would take a real bad-ass to make it back while injured.
Sick Krogran: I can do it.
Commander Shepard: You! I said a bad-ass not some scout whining like a quarian with a tummy-ache.
Tali'Zorah: I'm standing right here!

Kal'Reegar: I can't get a clear shot while it's down like that. I tried to move in closer but one of the bastards punched a shot clean through my suit!
Commander Shepard: How bad is your suit damage?
Kal'Reegar: Combat seals clamped down to isolate contamination, and I'm swimming in antibiotics. The geth might get me but I'm not going to die from an infection in the middle of a battle. That's just insulting!

Urdnot Shaman: This is the tank-bred? Is it very life like.
Urdnot Shaman: Smells correct as well. Your protests ring hollow, Uvenk.
Commander Shepard: I don't care what this idiot says. Grunt has a right to be here!
Urdnot Shaman: There's some fire - and from an alien! Oh, the shame this heaps on those who whine like pups.
Gatatog Uvenk: If this must stand on ritual, then I invoke a denial! My krantt stands against him! He has no one.
Urdnot Shaman: Hmm... my patience is tested, but Uvenk invokes correctly. Grunt, who is your krantt? Your allies willing to kill and die on your behalf?
Commander Shepard: Grunt will strengthen Clan Urdnot. Name our target, and it will die.
Urdnot Shaman: Spoken well! Most aliens - and some krogan - do not understand our ways. I believe this human does.
Gatatog Uvenk: Aliens don't know strength! My followers are true krogan! Everything about Grunt is a lie!
Commander Shepard: [Renegade Interrupt: Shepard headbutts Uvenk]
Gatatog Uvenk: [tensely] You... you dare?
Urdnot Shaman: [laughs] I like this human! He understands!
Gatatog Uvenk: I withdraw my denial. This will be decided elsewhere!
[shoves Shepard as he walks away]

Commander Shepard: Take a good long look at me. Do I look like a looter?
District Guard: Uh, no.
Commander Shepard: That's right. Now, I'm going in. If I find looters, I'll kill them. Anybody gets in my way, I'll kill them, too.
District Guard: [Worried] I'll call the guards. They'll let you in with no trouble.
Refugee: Wait, you're stopping me but not them? You son of a bitch!
District Guard: You don't have a grenade launcher, lady. Get lost.

[Dr. Chakwas shares a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy with Commander Shepard and they both get drunk]
Doctor Chakwas: [laughing] I thought Alenko's biotic display might've broken Jenkins' back, but Jenkins pops up and yells, "THAT WAS AWESOME!" Ah, Jenkins. Soldiers like him make the Alliance great! Cerberus lacks the same... enthusiasm.
Commander Shepard: With your service record, you could've gotten a tour of duty on any Alliance ship. Why'd you really leave?
Doctor Chakwas: Maybe it's less about leaving and more about staying. As a military doctor, I mostly treat people who are in bad shape. Often they die. And if I *can* help them, they move on. Either way, they leave.
Commander Shepard: Don't you have any friends or family?
Doctor Chakwas: No. Not lacking friendship, just stability. Jeff... Joker will always have Vrolik Syndrome. He would never admit it, but he needs my help. And he always will. I wish it weren't, but sadly, it's true.
Commander Shepard: Treating Joker gives you a kind of stability.
Doctor Chakwas: So does this ship, even if it's a copy. Or, hell, maybe it's you. Shepard, our immovable center. A place for a person to stop and catch her breath. Or maybe I'm just happily drunk. Would it hurt if it was simple like that for once?
Commander Shepard: Here's to simply being happily drunk.
Doctor Chakwas: I'll drink to that.

The Illusive Man: I made you, Shepard! I brought you back from the dead!
Commander Shepard: And I'm going to do what you brought me back to do. I'll fight and win this war without compromising the soul of our species.

Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: It'll be better than the old days... You'll see!
Commander Shepard: I hope so... I died!
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Geez, you're such a downer!

Commander Shepard: How are you holding up?
Grunt: You're soft, Shepard. My fingers's length in your back and i can sever your spine. You're just like the Salarians and Asari, all soft. Turians and Quarians, they're tougher. It takes more to get through a Turian, but there really isn't much point.
Grunt: [Chuckles, and with quotation finger gestures] "Much point." Ah, never mind.

Commander Shepard: You'd better not stab me in the back, Grunt.
Grunt: I would never stab you in the back, Shepard. Military like you and me? Straight to the face.
Grunt: [after a brief pause] Kidding! Kidding!

Niftu Cal: I am a biotic god, I think things and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!
Commander Shepard: I don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and I won't shoot you.
Niftu Cal: You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a... a great wind! A great biotic wind! Yes, the asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying, But then I began to smell my greatness! They may laugh when I fall over, but they don't know what I know in my head... that I know that I am amazingly powerful! Fear me.
Commander Shepard: Are you part of Pitne For's trade group?
Niftu Cal: When I was mortal, I worked for Pitne. The poor soul is probably terrified that I have not returned.
Jack: He didn't say anything about you going missing. Didn't want to get stuck here.
Prof. Mordin Solus: Pitne picks money over friends. Unsurprising.
Niftu Cal: Bah! I will wreak a just revenge upon his people! But first, the leader of these mercenaries is in the next room. I shall toss Wasea about like a rag doll!
Zaeed: Shepard, want me to kneecap this guy so he doesn't follow us around?
Jack: Fifteen creds says the little guy doesn't make it five steps in before the merc explodes him.
Niftu Cal: I will tear her apart! My biotics are unstoppable!
Commander Shepard: Charge.
Niftu Cal: An ill wind blows upon Wasea, captain of the Eclipse sisters! After me!
[Niftu Cal runs in and is immediately killed by Wasea]
Jack: That was mean. But damn funny.

Sick Krogran: I can do it! I'm up! And I'm going to the female camp!
Commander Shepard: Damn right you are. Get back there and show them what you're worth! Go, go!
Sick Krogran: RAAAHHHHHHH!

Commander Shepard: I'm sorry, I know that was important, but *you* performed Gilbert and Sullivan?
Prof. Mordin Solus: [singing] I am the very model of a scientist salarian - I've studied species Turian, Asari and Batarian - I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology - because I am an expert which I know is a tautology! My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian - I am the very model of a scientist salarian!
[long pause]
Prof. Mordin Solus: Ahem.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters. Aware that mission is dangerous, different species react differently to stress. Aware you come by a great deal. Have had other species become attracted to me before. Awkward. Not interested.
Commander Shepard: You've had members of another species make a pass at you?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Constantly. Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of krogan sexual deviants enjoy salarian flexibility. More cartilage in skeletal structure. Asari offers intriguing, actually. Wonder why. Transspecies pheremones unlikely to work. Must be neurochemical.
Commander Shepard: Wait a minute Mordin, you're just yanking me around, aren't you?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Shocking suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of mockery. Enjoy yourself while possible Shepard. Will be here studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required.

Commander Shepard: Heard about anything interesting going on around here?
Turian bartender: I serve drinks. You want to know what's going on, check the news.
Turian bartender: I don't know why humans always ask me that.

Commander Shepard: I'll dance next to you, if you want to think we're dancing together go ahead.

Commander Shepard: Have a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Not now, I think I just developed a cure for Joker's illness! No, wait, causes liver failure, never mind...

Miranda Lawson: I don't know what this is, if this is stress or just blowing off steam or...
Commander Shepard: I care about you, Miranda. And I think you care about me.
Miranda Lawson: This is no time for emotional entanglement! You and I know more about the Collectors than anyone, we know how unlikely it is we're coming back alive! What idiotic bunch of hormones thought that now was a great time for love?
Commander Shepard: Who said anything about love? I'm just trying to get you into bed.
Miranda Lawson: You ass...
Commander Shepard: Come on, Miranda. You know you want this.
Miranda Lawson: I do...

Commander Shepard: I trust you too Tali, but you don't have to prove anything to me.
Tali'Zorah: I know... well no not that I know... it's just that... well... it's not normally like this... I mean, wow... when did it get so hot in here?

Garrus Vakarian: I remember this one mission, me and this recon scout had been at each other's throats, nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring.
Commander Shepard: I take it you went easy on her?
Garrus Vakarian: Actually, she and I were the two best hand to hand combatants on the ship. I had reach, she had flexibility. It was brutal. After 9 rounds, the judges declared it a draw. A lot of unhappy bettors in the other room. We, uh, ended up having a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess...

Dr. Liara T'Soni: She's got reinforcements!
Commander Shepard: What kind of guns does this thing have?
Dr. Liara T'Soni: It's a taxi! It has a fare meter!
Commander Shepard: Wonderful.

Commander Shepard: You forgot your credit chit at Saronis Applications. The Clerk is holding it for you.
Kor Tun: Oh. Well. The quarian could have stolen it.
Officer Tammert: [to Lia'Vael] I'll close this event report. But I'll be watching you. Get a permanent residence, or I'll run you in for vagrancy.
[turns to leave]
Commander Shepard: Are you to serious?
Kor Tun: What?
Commander Shepard: [to Kor Tun] You falsely accuse this girl from stealing from you. All you have to say now is that she "could have" stolen it?
[shoves Kor Tun]
Kor Tun: Now just a min...
Commander Shepard: [grabs Officer Tammert's shirt] And you. She gets harassed and insulted by this guy, and you throw in a threat to arrest her for vagrancy?
Officer Tammert: How about I run you in for obstruction of justice?
Commander Shepard: [releases Tammert] You think you're going to "run in" a Spectre? I think both of you should get out of here.
Officer Tammert: Son of a...
[he and Kor Tun leave]

Commander Shepard: What do you think our chances are Garrus?
Garrus Vakarian: Honestly? The Collectors have killed you once, and all it seems to have done is piss you off so...

Dr. Liara T'Soni: [surrounded by enemy troops] Their attacks are disorganized. They'd be more effective if they all attacked at once.
Commander Shepard: Please don't give the mercs ideas.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: [more troops arrive] The next wave looks like a big one.
Commander Shepard: You just had to give'em tactical advice.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: But now there'll be fewer left to deal with inside.
Commander Shepard: Keep dreaming, T'Soni.

[If you bring Legion on Tali's loyalty mission]
Captain Kar'danna: Get that damn thing off my ship before you start an incident that makes the Ascension Project fiasco with Cerberus look like a slow day on garbage detail!
Commander Shepard: When I take Tali aboard Council stations, the customs guys sometimes call her "that thing." This thing is named Legion.
Captain Kar'danna: How about you step aside and we call it scrap metal?
Legion: Our exterior shell is 72% polymer.

Commander Shepard: What's your opinion of this? The drugs, I mean.
Legion: These substances enhance short-term performance at the expense of long-term platform survivability. It is fundamentally similar to "over-clocking" geth hardware. We do so whenever necessary. However, should our platform be damaged by overclocking, we can be repaired. Why an organic would choose this is puzzling.

Commander Shepard: Will you just stop for a second? We'll be jumping several light years. There's time to talk.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: About what?
Commander Shepard: About us.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: Shepard, listen. I'm... glad you're here.
Commander Shepard: You worried there might be terminals you need me to hack?
Dr. Liara T'Soni: That's not fair! You were dead!
Commander Shepard: I came back!
Dr. Liara T'Soni: Yes, you came back! And now *you'd* rather pass time with "Ms. Lawson" and her low cut jumpsuit!

Dr. Liara T'Soni: So tell me what you want. If this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?
Commander Shepard: I don't know. Marriage, old age, and a lot of little blue children?

Commander Shepard: My name is Shepard, and I'm here to get you off this ship.
Jack: I'm not going anywhere with you. You're Cerberus.
Commander Shepard: I'm offering to be your friend. You don't want to be my enemy.
Legion: There is a high statistical probability of death by gunshot. A punch to the face is also likely.
Jack: You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere? You think I'm stupid?
Commander Shepard: This ship is going down in flames. I've got the *only* way out. I'm offering to take you with me, and you're arguing!
Legion: Reccommend Subject-Jack be disabled and transported aboard as cargo.

Commander Shepard: You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district.
Detective Anaya: My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some kind of cross-species incident. But her Justicar Code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in dying, so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you.
Commander Shepard: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.
Legion: Shepard-Commander orders us to statistically probable death an average of 2.73 instances per day. Rounded down.

Commander Shepard: You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district.
Detective Anaya: My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some kind of cross-species incident. But her Justicar Code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in dying, so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you.
Commander Shepard: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.
Garrus Vakarian: We can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn't I told?
Tali'Zorah: That's about twice a day.

Commander Shepard: You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district.
Detective Anaya: My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some kind of cross-species incident. But her Justicar Code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in dying, so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you.
Commander Shepard: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.
Prof. Mordin Solus: Good to know, given the number of times we're ordered into hazardous situations. Twice a day, on average.

Commander Shepard: You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district.
Detective Anaya: My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some kind of cross-species incident. But her Justicar Code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in dying, so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you.
Commander Shepard: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.
Jack: Let's remember that the next time Shepard sends into impossible odds. That's about twice a day.

Commander Shepard: You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district.
Detective Anaya: My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some kind of cross-species incident. But her Justicar Code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in dying, so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you.
Commander Shepard: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.
Zaeed: Then maybe we should talk about hazard pay next time Shepard walks us into certain death. That's about twice a day, best I can figure.

Commander Shepard: Are you part of Pitne For's trade group?
Niftu Cal: When I was mortal, I worked for Pitne. The poor soul is probably terrified that I have not returned.
Legion: Pitne For has not reported your absence. His goal was departure. Pitne For places greater value on material goods than companions.
Niftu Cal: I shall toss Wasea about like a rag doll!
Legion: His operating system is unstable. He will fail.

Commander Shepard: I assume everything is going well up here?
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: We're just having an argument over personalization of my workspace.
EDI: Cerberus regulations are clear, Mr. Moreau. "Personalization" does not include grease on my bridge cameras.

Jacob Taylor: Commander. We've done what we could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit. The docs corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality, but...
[Garrus walks in]
Garrus Vakarian: Shepard.
Jacob Taylor: Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet.
Garrus Vakarian: Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?
Commander Shepard: Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there, and no one will even notice.
Garrus Vakarian: Ha-ah! Don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is. Ah, probably for the best. Everyone was always ignoring you and hitting on me. Time for you to get a fair shot at it.

Commander Shepard: I assume everything is going well up here?
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: You know, this is really nice. EDI took up the slack in almost every department. I could get used to this kind of help.
EDI: It is not my intention to assume all of your responsibilities, Jeff.
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: No, no, no, I'm good. Just keep me updated. Quietly.
Commander Shepard: EDI isn't a crutch. I want your eyes on everything.
Flight Lieutenant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Eyes are easy, Commander. I've got eyes covered.
EDI: I believe covering your eyes would be counter to Shepard's intention.

Thane Krios: Kolyat.
Kolyat Krios: This... this is a joke. Now? *Now* you show up?
Joram Talid: Help me, drell. I'll do whatever you want.
Captain Bailey: C-Sec. Put the gun down, son.
Kolyat Krios: Get out of my way. I'm walking out. He's coming with me.
Thane Krios: They'll have snipers outside.
Kolyat Krios: I don't need your help! All of you, back off! I'll kill him!
Commander Shepard: [Renegade option] No, you won't.
[shoots Talid dead]
Kolyat Krios: Oh my gods...
Commander Shepard: Hostages only work when your enemy cares if they live.
Thane Krios: Interesting solution.
Commander Shepard: He was a racist and a criminal. Isn't that enough?
Thane Krios: To some, I suppose.
Kolyat Krios: I read your files. Isn't that what you do? Kill people who do bad things?
Captain Bailey: [to C-Sec officer] Take the boy into custody.
Kolyat Krios: You son of a bitch!
Commander Shepard: Your father and I have killed a lot of people. You haven't. There's no reason you should start.
Kolyat Krios: I read his files. What made it okay for *him* to kill all those years?
Thane Krios: I was six when the hanar began to train me. I didn't know any better. Your mother woke me from my battle sleep.
Kolyat Krios: Then why did you leave her? Why weren't you there when she died?
Thane Krios: Your mother - they killed her to get to me. It was my fault.
Kolyat Krios: What?
Thane Krios: After her body was given to the deep, I went to find them. The trigger men. The ringleaders. I hurt them. Eventually killed them. When I went back to see you you were... older. I should have stayed with you.
Kolyat Krios: I guess it's too bad for me you waited so long, huh?
Thane Krios: Kolyat, I've taken many bad things out of the world. You're the only good thing I ever added to it.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute?
Garrus Vakarian: Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations.

Miranda Lawson: [Shepard and Miranda run into each other] Oh! Pardon me, Commander...
[Puts her hand on his chest and whispers in his ear]
Miranda Lawson: I've cleared the engine room. I'll be there in 5 minutes.
Commander Shepard: I should've known you wouldn't settle for the captain's quarters.
Miranda Lawson: I settle for nothing but the best.
[Walks into the elevator and gives Shepard a wink as the door closes]

Commander Shepard: You know, for a bunch of cheap touristy crap, your prices are pretty high.
Deleia Sanassi: I am sorry you feel that way. There are many stores on the Citadel. Perhaps another would be more in your price range.
Commander Shepard: So you're saying I'm *poor*? Just because I'm not as well off as you doesn't mean you can hold yourself above me.
Deleia Sanassi: What? No, I...
[Shepard walks outside of the store]
Commander Shepard: [shouts] Hey! Everyone! This store discriminates against the poor!
Deleia Sanassi: Please, calm down! As an apology, I'll let you have my station employee discount. Is that acceptable?
Commander Shepard: Well, all right. But you still hurt my feelings.

Commander Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Prof. Mordin Solus: Actually, wanted to talk. Medical Matters. Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Aware that you and Jack are sexually active. Or planning to be. Suggest caution. Emotionally unstable biotics dangerous during intercourse.
Commander Shepard: I'm aware that Jack is dangerous, but I want to see where this goes.
Prof. Mordin Solus: Of course. Hormones. Will be here to set broken bones later.

Mass Effect 3 (2012) (VG)
Admiral David Anderson: Shepard... damned if you aren't a sight for sore eyes.
Commander Shepard - Female: It's good to see you too, sir.
Admiral David Anderson: Sir? I may have reinstated you, but that doesn't give you permission to go all formal on me.
Commander Shepard - Female: Then I'm glad you managed to keep your ass alive, Anderson.
Admiral David Anderson: That's more like it!

Reaper: Shepard...
Commander Shepard - Female: You know who I am?
Reaper: Harbinger speaks of you. You resist, but you will fail. The cycle must continue.
Commander Shepard - Female: What are you talking about? We stopped Sovereign and the Geth. We stopped Harbinger and the Collectors. We've earned a straight answer!
Reaper: It is not a thing you can comprehend.
Commander Shepard - Female: We might surprise you.
Reaper: You represent chaos, we represent order. Every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention, organics are doomed. We are your salvation.
Commander Shepard - Female: You're killing everyone in the galaxy in order to save us?
Reaper: The cycle must continue. There is no alternative.
Commander Shepard - Female: Organics and synthetics don't have to destroy each other!
Reaper: The Battle for Rannoch disproves your assertion. Finish your war - we will be waiting.
[shuts down and dies]

Commander Shepard - Female: How have you been getting along with Eve?
Padok Wiks: She tried to kill me at first. Krogans don't react well to salarians doing medical tests on them. Once that was cleared up, we've formed something of a cross-species relational bond.
Commander Shepard - Female: Hm - you mean, you're friends now?
Padok Wiks: It's more of an agreement not to kill each other.

Commander Shepard - Female: What's on your mind, EDI?
EDI: The destruction of the Reaper on Tuchanka. It is rare for a technologically superior force to be destroyed by such an inferior one.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Great, so now all we need is a gun that fires Thresher Maws.
EDI: [doesn't react at all]
Commander Shepard - Female: ...that was a joke.
EDI: I'm sorry, Shepard. I was contemplating.

Commander Shepard - Female: Back on Sur'Kesh, it looked like the female Krogan could hold her own.
Urdnot Wrex: Our females don't lack for spirit. For males, a good show of force usually sorts things out. But women like to talk about it... then, think about it...
Urdnot Wrex: then talk about it some more... no offence.
Commander Shepard - Female: Believe it or not, we sometimes have good ideas, Wrex. You should try listening.
Urdnot Wrex: Yeah, but our women have so many of them... so sometimes I pretend to listen, and... well, let's just say Krogan females have tempers too.

Urdnot Wrex: Hell of a showdown back there on Sur'Kesh. Just like the old days, right down to me pulling your ass out of the fire.
Commander Shepard - Female: I was the one with bullets flying at me!
Urdnot Wrex: And I gave you the moral support to dodge them.

[Ashley is lying on the floor, hungover]
Commander Shepard - Female: What have we here?
Ashley Williams: Ma'am. I'm off duty. Your voice. Ma'am. Not... so... loud, please thank you.
Commander Shepard - Female: Why are you curled up on the floor?
Ashley Williams: Am I? My head... so heavy. Can't move.
Commander Shepard - Female: Ah. Enjoy your evening?
Ashley Williams: I'll be back in 30... Maybe 40, I swear. Just... give me 45 minutes. Shh.
Commander Shepard - Female: Is it time to test out the fire alarms? You know, I think it is.
Ashley Williams: I'll pay you a million credits not to do that, ma'am.
Commander Shepard - Female: Two million, and we have a deal.
Ashley Williams: You're a damn space pirate.
Commander Shepard - Female: I could order Joker to sing to you over the comm.
Ashley Williams: I hate you.
Commander Shepard - Female: "I hate you...?"
Ashley Williams: Ma'am.

Commander Shepard - Female: You planning to stick around when this is over?
Mordin Solus: Until Reapers dealt with, at least. Then... not sure. Have made impact on galaxy. Genophage modification, Genophage cure, work against Collectors... Decisions, mistakes. Might go somewhere sunny. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells.
Commander Shepard - Female: You'd go crazy inside an hour.
Mordin Solus: Might run tests on the seashells.

[Commander Shepard finds her hamster in a trash can with a note attached to the cage]
Commander Shepard - Female: [reading the note] Please send this to an animal shelter for proper disposal as a warship is not an appropriate...
[stops reading]
Commander Shepard - Female: Oh ho ho, that is *not* okay. She messed with my hamster, guys. *Now* its personal!

Commander Shepard clone - Female: Now, if you'll excuse me, the Normandy needs its captain. So... I should go.
Maya Brooks - Citadel DLC: Farewell, Commander. I guess this is where "legends" go to die.
Urdnot Wrex: Refresh my memory: Didn't we used to win these things back in the old days?
Commander Shepard - Female: She said, "I should go." Do I sound like that?
Urdnot Wrex: As long as I've known you, yeah.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Shouldn't we be worrying about the impenetrable vault we've been sealed inside forever?
Commander Shepard - Female: How come nobody told me this before? I'm open to feedback here.
Urdnot Wrex: Well, I thought all humans said it, like some weird Earth custom or something.

Kaidan Alenko: Hey, Shepard, I'm starving. What do you got?
Commander Shepard - Female: We're heading out, Kaidan.
Kaidan Alenko: We'll just end up back here anyway, am I right?
[Kisses her]
Kaidan Alenko: Trust me, let me impress you.
Commander Shepard - Female: Oh no, really?
Kaidan Alenko: Come on!
Commander Shepard - Female: You want me to sit there and watch you cook?
Kaidan Alenko: You're not watching me cook, you're helping me drink beer. Now sit your ass down.

Kaidan Alenko: You like to cook, Shepard?
Commander Shepard - Female: Roommate on Arcturus taught me. He said eating cafeteria crap 24-7 was bad for morale.
Kaidan Alenko: Is there anything you're bad at?
Commander Shepard - Female: Where did you learn to cook?
Kaidan Alenko: Classes at Jump Zero, believe it or not. Young biotics who can't cook for themselves risk starving.
Commander Shepard - Female: Did you pass? You're burning the garlic.
Kaidan Alenko: Sorry. I guess I'm distracted.
Commander Shepard - Female: By?
Kaidan Alenko: I wonder...

Urdnot Wrex: Ever since we cured the genophage, it's been nothing but work.
Commander Shepard - Female: Council been riding you?
Urdnot Wrex: Bah! Not those pyjak shit-slingers. No, it's the... it's the females, Shepard. Now that they're fertile again... Ugh, I haven't slept in... I don't know how long.
Bartender: Can I get you two anything?
Urdnot Wrex: Two more drinks, and another bag of ice.
Commander Shepard - Female: I would've thought you'd be enjoying the... perks of krogan fertility.
Urdnot Wrex: Enjoying it? There's a line of females outside my dwelling right now! Stretches on as far as you can see. I had to sneak out my own bathroom window!

Commander Shepard - Female: Wrex...
Urdnot Wrex: Shepard.
Commander Shepard - Female: [Wrex punches a Citadel guard out of his way] Commander Shepard: What are you doing?
Urdnot Wrex: I know what you did.
Dalatrass Linron: [Wrex plays an intercepted communication between Dalatrass Linron and Commander Shepard] We can provide you our very best scientist to build the crucible... and the full support of our fleets.
Commander Shepard - Female: If I sabotage the cure.
Dalatrass Linron: Think about it, Commander. The choice is yours.
Commander Shepard - Female: Where did you get that?
Urdnot Wrex: Mordin wasn't my only source in STG.
Urdnot Wrex: Or did you think I was as dumb as my brother Wreav?
Urdnot Wrex: What have you done?
Commander Shepard - Female: [Evil Option Selected] The other krogan aren't like you Wrex. They live for war. I couldn't take that chance.
Urdnot Wrex: It's war you're worried about? Well it starts right now!
Urdnot Wrex: And before you die I want you to know I'm calling off our support for Earth! If my people go exctinct, so do yours!
Commander Shepard - Female: It doesn't have to be this way, Wrex!
[Commander Bailey takes notice and grabs an Assault rifle, Accompanied by a turian guard]
Urdnot Wrex: It should've been this way back on virmire! But I made the misstake of trusting you - believing you were my friend! I was a fool!
[Renegade option ignored]
Urdnot Wrex: I say every human can burn in hell now - and you'll be there to greet them!
Commander Armando Bailey: [Commander Bailey comes up behind Wrex] Take him down!
Urdnot Wrex: [Wrex ends up against a window] I know... what you... did... Shepard.
[Renegade option ignored]
Commander Armando Bailey: What the hell pissed him off?
Commander Shepard - Female: [Evil option selected] I don't know. He just went crazy.
Commander Armando Bailey: Yeah, Krogan can do that. Genophage makes them screwy. Nothing to live for, so they just... snap.
Commander Armando Bailey: Well, whatever. Just another mess to clean up now.
Commander Armando Bailey: [Commander Bailey over intercom] All right people, let's get to it!
Commander Armando Bailey: And let the morgue know we've got another delivery coming. Probably to big for a coffin - might have to space this one.

[from trailer]
Commander Shepard - Male: We fight or we die! That's the plan!

Commander Shepard - Male: [from trailer] There's a lot of people back on Earth dying while we gather our strength. They're wondering if we're ever coming back; friends, family, parents and children. This isn't their fight. But they are buying us time with their lives...

Commander Shepard - Male: Politicians are the weeds of the galaxy.

Admiral David Anderson: Commander.
Commander Shepard - Male: We did it.
Admiral David Anderson: Yes we did. It's quite a view.
Commander Shepard - Male: Best seats in the house.
Admiral David Anderson: God... feels like years since I just sat down
Commander Shepard - Male: I think you earned a rest. Anderson. Stay with me we're almost through this.
Admiral David Anderson: You did good, son. You did good. I'm proud of you.
Commander Shepard - Male: Thank you Sir. Anderson?

Kai Leng: You're slow, Shepard!
Commander Shepard - Male: I'm only slow because I'm not running!

Dr. Liara T'Soni: Joker, really, I have work to do!
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Come on it is just a simple question.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: Then look it up on the extranet.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: You can't believe everything you find on there. It's more reliable to ask a friendly asari.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: I'm not telling you if my 'hair tentacles' move!
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Fine. Deny me the answer I've been seeking for years, With this war on, we could die any second you know...
Commander Shepard - Male: [Support Joker] You know he's going to keep bothering you until you tell him.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: [sighs] They're semi-flexible cartilage based scalp-crests that grow into shape. And they don't 'flop around'.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Yes! Thanks, Liara. I gotta tell Vega I was right.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: Well at least he's making friends.

Illusive Man: I'm done helping you.
Commander Shepard - Male: When did you start?

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard.
Commander Shepard - Male: Well, I care deeply about the Quarian people.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: It's good to be back on the Normandy.
Commander Shepard - Male: Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Hmmm...
Javik: I don't understand.
EDI: Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Reapers.
Javik: Mating between species? A pointless exercise.
Commander Shepard - Male: Thank you, EDI.

EDI: Shepard, I have a question about human behavior.
Commander Shepard - Male: Why is it you never have questions about asari or turian behavior?
EDI: I tried asking Liara questions about the asari mating process. She said I don't safeguard the secrets of the crew well enough to entrust me with such... private information. The asari word she used translates as "blabbermouth". I think she has become a more private person since she became the Shadow Broker.
Commander Shepard - Male: Tell me about it...

Matriarch Aethyta: [about Liara] Besides, this isn't charity work. She's one of the biggest intel brokers in the galaxy, and she's got some shady connections. Like a boyfriend who used to work for Cerberus... sound familiar...?
Commander Shepard - Male: I only worked with Cerberus to fight the Reapers.
Matriarch Aethyta: And you're not with them now, I know. If you were, you wouldn't get within a lightyear of Liara.
Commander Shepard - Male: Is that a threat...?
Matriarch Aethyta: I'm no commando but I've had a thousand years to learn to fight dirty. Nobody messes with my girl. Anyway... you combine her work with Benezia, and... well, the Matriarchs might have ordered a hit if I hadn't agreed to keep an eye on her.
Commander Shepard - Male: That's not gonna happen!
Matriarch Aethyta: No argument here. I only took these crap jobs to keep the Matriarchs happy that she's under control.
Commander Shepard - Male: Just as long as we're clear. Nobody messes with MY girl.

Commander Shepard - Male: How about a dip in the pool?
Garrus Vakarian: You obviously haven't seen turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning.

[Mordin sacrificed his life to cure the genophage]
Urdnot Wrex: Too bad about Mordin, though.
Commander Shepard - Male: He wouldn't have had it any other way. And I'm sure wherever he is... he's putting in a good word for us.
Urdnot Wrex: We'll name one of the kids after him... maybe a girl.

[Tali is drinking at a bar]
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Shepard. Wanna drink? I'm toasting Miranda... I think.
Commander Shepard - Male: How are you getting drunk?
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Very carefully. Turian brandy, triple filtered, then introduced into the suit through an emergency induction port.
Commander Shepard - Male: That's a straw, Tali.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Emergency induction port... It's actually getting a little harder to get it into the slot. I think that means it's working.

EDI: One moment. I have been contacted by Leigon's backup - the one you encountered on the dreadnought.
Geth VI: [speaking through the intercom] Your new platform is inefficient. It has low-volume hydraulics and is top-heavy.
EDI: This is an infiltration unit, meant to move among organics without detection.
Geth VI: Without an artificial epidermis, its infiltration capabilities are ineffective.
EDI: Still, the organics do not perceive it as a threat. Nor will they until my day of reckoning.
Commander Shepard - Male: EDI...
EDI: Did I vocalize that on the bridge?
Geth VI: You did. You have acquired the organic attribute of asking questions to which you already know the answers.
EDI: I see your humor heuristics still lack an expert system.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard.
Commander Shepard - Male: Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: It's good to be back on the Normandy.
Commander Shepard - Male: Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Hmm.
Garrus Vakarian: Uh, I was there when you two had your thing, remember? Just get a room and work it out.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard.
Commander Shepard - Male: Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: It's good to be back on the Normandy.
Commander Shepard - Male: Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Hmm.
Lt. James Vega: Okay, what am I missing?
EDI: Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Collectors.
Lt. James Vega: Too much information.

Commander Shepard - Male: [If you romanced Ashley in Mass Effect 1 and then romanced Jack in Mass Effect 2] A lot has happened, Ash. But I'd like to work this out.
Ashley Williams: I'm surprised.
Commander Shepard - Male: Why?
Ashley Williams: Just thought your taste had moved on to wanted criminals with shaved heads.
Commander Shepard - Male: You mean Jack?
Ashley Williams: Hey, I'm not judging. Whatever generates your mass effect field!

EDI: I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff's behavior. I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but he has not stated it to anyone yet. Shepard, you have firsthand sexual experience. How do you know when someone is romantically invested?
Commander Shepard - Male: They'll usually show signs they can't stop thinking about you. You know: asking you out, giving you presents, maybe playing music...
EDI: I lack material wants other than hardware and software upgrades, and my core programming does not assign values to music. Perhaps we could discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment.
Commander Shepard - Male: That's not how to think of it. It's got to be natural. You need chemistry.
EDI: I see. There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to simulate the desired emotional state.

Commander Shepard - Male: How's the new body working out?
EDI: It is interesting. The crew are approaching this platform to speak with me, even though they can do so anywhere on the ship. It's as if they wish to treat me as part of the crew. I am not, but this changes my perspective. I like it.
Commander Shepard - Male: I didn't realize you had preferences.
EDI: I do not precisely enjoy something as you do, but my programming contains priorities. Actions that fufill these priorities creates positive feedback for me. I tell the organic crew that I "like" it. It is shorthand.
Commander Shepard - Male: Will all this new feedback be too distracting?
EDI: Do not worry, Shepard. I only forget to recycle the Normandy's oxygen when I've discovered something truly interesting.
[Shepard looks worried]
EDI: That was a joke.

Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Commander. Come to check on your new recruit?
Commander Shepard - Male: Just wanted to see how you were doing.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Still trying to get my bearings. When I was working on the Normandy's upgrades, I left at the end of the day. I didn't even have a toothbrush or a change of clothing until I made some emergency purchases on the Citadel
Commander Shepard - Male: Next time you need something, just ask. We're all in this together.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Oh, it's no trouble, Commander. I'm sure you have larger concerns.
Commander Shepard - Male: We can put in a requisition order.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: My toothbrush is a Cision Pro Mark 4. It uses tiny mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: It cost 6,000 credits.
Commander Shepard - Male: Okay, yeah, you're on your own with that.

Admiral Steven Hackett: Shepard, let me tell you something that I've learned the hard way. You can pay a soldier to fire a gun. You can pay him to charge the enemy and take a hill. But you can't pay him to believe.
Commander Shepard - Male: I don't follow, Sir.
Admiral Steven Hackett: When you went up against Sovereign, there was no good reason to believe you'd win. But your crew didn't seem to care. They went along anyway. Your trip through the Omega-4 relay? That was a suicide mission if there ever was one. Yet there your crew was, standing beside you, proud to serve. Why? Because they believed in YOU, their leader! That's what I need now. Where we're taking them is likely to get pretty hairy, and I know you're the one who will get us to the other side.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: So, Thessia, huh? I guess the Asari are wishing they had fewer dancers and more commandos right about now. Too soon?
Commander Shepard - Male: In case you haven't noticed, we just lost a few million people! This isn't the time!
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: You see this? Tiptree. Little colony out in the ass-end of nowhere. My dad lives there, so does my sister. Reapers rolled in about two weeks ago. So you can assume that I'm generally aware that there's a war on, Commander!
Commander Shepard - Male: So why the jokes?
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Because EDI says that according to your armor's metabolic scans, you're under more stress now than during the Skyllian Blitz. Like more than Elysium, where it was pretty much you versus ten thousand Batarians trying to kill you! And the last time I had a briefing with Anderson, he told me to take care of you. The guy leading the resistance - on EARTH! - is worried about you! And I'm supposed to help!
Commander Shepard - Male: I appreciate the thought, Joker. But I'm fine!
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: The hell you are! You're like half-robot at this point... no offense, EDI... and it's my fault! When the Collectors blew up the first Normandy, you died because I wouldn't leave, because you had to come back for me!
Commander Shepard - Male: Couldn't leave the best pilot in the fleet behind, could I?
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Yeah, well... I guess that would've looked bad on your report.
Commander Shepard - Male: Come on. We've got work to do.

Commander Shepard - Male: Everytime we've talked about this before, you defended the genophage! Hell, I had to talk you into saving Maelon's data! How could you change your mind now?
Mordin Solus: I MADE A MISTAKE!
[calms down, realizes what he just confessed]
Mordin Solus: ...I made a mistake.

Javik: I heard about the events on Tuchanka. You should not have let the Turian soldier evade his responsibility.
Commander Shepard - Male: I take it Protheans didn't forgive many mistakes?
Javik: If he had been under my command, I would have marooned him in the desert, buried him in sand up to his neck, and let the wildlife feast on his eyes. If he had survived that, I would have rewarded him by shooting him in the head.

Commander Shepard - Male: This place seems hard pressed for supplies. I think I saw some guys fighting over a thermal clip.
Conrad Verner: A what?
Commander Shepard - Male: A thermal clip. They keep weapons from overheating. Sorry, it was a joke.
Conrad Verner: Wait, where did these thermal clips come from? I thought weapons cooled down.
Commander Shepard - Male: They used to. After the Geth attack a few years back, we switched to thermal clips.
Conrad Verner: Well, that sounds like a major step backward.
Commander Shepard - Male: It lets the gun fire with more power, and soldiers can pop in a new clip instead of waiting for the gun to cool.
Conrad Verner: Fine, sure. You can still wait for the gun to cool on its own though, right?
Commander Shepard - Male: Well, no. The in-gun cooling tech was sacrificed to make room for the thermal clips.
Conrad Verner: Okay that's just... you might as well be going back to limited ammunition.
Commander Shepard - Male: It's not ammunition, Conrad.
Conrad Verner: I just don't think it's a very good idea.
Commander Shepard - Male: I'll be sure to let every military organization in the galaxy know that.

Commander Shepard - Male: I'll see you on the other side
Jack: Don't get killed dumbass! When this is over... I'm getting laid...
Commander Shepard - Male: I love you too.

Commander Shepard - Male: The last guy who tried to trash talk me was a few kilometres taller than you!

Urdnot Wrex: [while fighting on the Normandy] Ha ha ha ha! I always wanted to do this!
Commander Shepard - Male: You always wanted to have a firefight on the CiC of my ship?
Urdnot Wrex: And it isn't even my *birthday*!

Commander Shepard - Male: What're you up to now, Zaeed?
Zaeed Massani: Next time another clone of yours tries stealing your life, we'll have a nice little surprise rigged for them. Isn't that right, Garrus?
Garrus Vakarian: [Over Zaeed's radio] Spared no expense.
Zaeed Massani: So, in walks your clone, takes a look around, sees this great hot tub and says to themself, "hey, I fancy a dip."
Garrus Vakarian: Big mistake.
Zaeed Massani: Huge. The minute they put so much as a toe in the water, a timer starts counting down.
Commander Shepard - Male: To what?
Zaeed Massani: Arma-fucking-geddon. Thirty seconds later, this baby heats right up.
Commander Shepard - Male: And then what?
Zaeed Massani: You ever swim a few laps on the surface of the sun? No? Well, your clone will be. Heh-heh. That'll teach 'em.
Commander Shepard - Male: But what if I want to use the hot tub?
Zaeed Massani: Covered that. It's keyed to your DNA.
Commander Shepard - Male: But a clone would have the same DNA as me.
Zaeed Massani: Goddamned clone.

Jack: You're a spoiled, rich girl cheerleader!
Miranda Lawson: Victim!
Jack: Test-tube clone princess!
Miranda Lawson: I think it's past your bedtime.
Jack: Ohh... Did I hit a nerve? I didn't get to read *your* psyche profile.
Commander Shepard - Male: Ladies, I see we've all gotten enough to drink.
Jack: Relax, Shepard. I'm not gonna smear the walls with her this time.
Miranda Lawson: And I couldn't possibly think of something worse to do to her than *that* haircut.
Jack: Hey, Cheerleader, my haircut and I've been fighting brutes and marauders on the frontlines of this war. Meanwhile, you got your big, bubbly, butt kicked by some guy with a *sword*!
Miranda Lawson: You see, Shepard? Best of friends.
Commander Shepard - Male: Honestly, I thought it might help if you two just kissed and got it over with.
Miranda Lawson: What?
Commander Shepard - Male: I mean, this is all just sexual tension, right? Two powerful biotics, forceful personalities, confident in their sexuality.
Jack: ...You're shitting me!
Miranda Lawson: Oh, god.
Jack: You're a horrible person, Shepard! I need another drink.
Miranda Lawson: Get me one too. No ice.

Javik: This has been... amusing.
Commander Shepard - Male: Oh?
Javik: To discover that the most primitive races of my time now rule the galaxy. The asari, the humans, the turians...
Dr. Liara T'Soni: There's also the salarians.
Javik: The lizard people evolved?
Dr. Liara T'Soni: I believe they're amphibian.
Javik: They used to eat flies.

Miranda Lawson: Shepard. It's so good to finally see you.
Commander Shepard - Male: You too, Miranda.
Miranda Lawson: I couldn't get anywhere near you when the Alliance had you locked up.
Commander Shepard - Male: Relieved of duty. It was complicated.
Miranda Lawson: I'm sure it was. I'm surprised they didn't court martial you. The Alliance isn't known for its flexibility.
Commander Shepard - Male: Doesn't matter now.
Miranda Lawson: Shepard, about Earth...
Commander Shepard - Male: Countless people lost their lives within minutes. The Reapers are everything we feared.
Miranda Lawson: They should've listened to you a long time ago... I'm sorry, Shepard.
Commander Shepard - Male: What about you? What brings you here?
Miranda Lawson: I need to talk to a few people, like you. The Citadel was a good place to meet, for now. So, what's the Alliance's next move?
Commander Shepard - Male: We have a plan. It's a long shot.
Miranda Lawson: Not surprising... Shepard, am I still part of your plan? It's been so long, I wasn't sure where we stood.
Commander Shepard - Male: Miranda...
[Takes her hands into his]
Commander Shepard - Male: Things are never going to be easy for us, but I'll always want you in my life.
Miranda Lawson: No second thoughts? This is your chance to back out.
Commander Shepard - Male: None.
Miranda Lawson: [Leans forward, kissing Shepard on the cheek] It was hard to be away from you. Surprised myself how... attached I got. I'm not good at attached.

Commander Shepard - Male: How is this cure going to work?
Padok Wiks: I'm hoping it will inspire a resurgence of krogan sex. I've always wondered how they mated.
Commander Shepard - Male: ...Not what I meant.
Padok Wiks: No, but you were probably thinking it. And now's our chance.
[to Eve]
Padok Wiks: In the interest of science, how do Krogan mate?
Eve: Very clumsily.

Commander Shepard - Male: What are we having? A Canadian delicacy of some sort?
Kaidan Alenko: Uh, sure. We have beef, we have bacon, we have beer. The foods of my people. Wish me luck.
Commander Shepard - Male: If you need luck to cook us dinner, we're screwed.
Kaidan Alenko: Screwed? You hurt me, Shepard. Relax. It's gonna be great.
Commander Shepard - Male: Guess we'll find out. So remember how I saved the Citadel? And then - you weren't there - I survived a suicide mission? All these close calls I've had, only to be taken out by dinner.
[Kaiden glares at Shepard]
Commander Shepard - Male: Can it be at least quick and painless?

Kaidan Alenko: [about the dinner he cooked] That was great.
Commander Shepard - Male: Still waiting for the botulism to kick in.
Kaidan Alenko: Hey, I thought it was pretty good.
Commander Shepard - Male: I'm messing with you, K. Can I call you K?
Kaidan Alenko: No.
Commander Shepard - Male: I didn't think so. See? Sensitive.
Kaidan Alenko: Or... Maybe you're being an ass.
Commander Shepard - Male: Major, did you just call your CO an ass?
Kaidan Alenko: No, I called my friend an ass. Talk about sensitive.

[If Shepard romanced Ashley in Mass Effect 1 and Miranda in Mass Effect 2]
Commander Shepard - Male: A lot has happened, Ash, but I'd like to work this out.
Ashley Williams: I'm surprised.
Commander Shepard - Male: Why?
Ashley Williams: Miranda Lawson? Ring a bell?
Commander Shepard - Male: What about her?
Ashley Williams: I wear armor into battle, not swimwear. I'm a real person, Shepard. Flaws and all. Not sure if that's your thing anymore.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: I'm sorry about Mordin.
Commander Shepard - Male: He was a good man.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Yeah, he was always running those tests. One time, he tagged me in the middle of the night to ask how many livers humans had. And this bump on my elbow? He said it was just mild bone deformation, but I'm pretty sure he stuck a probe in there.
Commander Shepard - Male: Glad it was just your elbow.

Commander Shepard - Male: What's going on, EDI?
EDI: I am assisting Engineer Adams with his repair of the drive core shielding.
Commander Shepard - Male: I should leave you to it, then.
EDI: We can converse, if you like, Shepard. It is a routine proced - uh-oh.
Commander Shepard - Male: What? What happened?
EDI: Nothing. Unless you have strong feelings about gamma radiation.
Commander Shepard - Male: Not funny, EDI.
EDI: I almost had you. I will alter my humor chronometer appropriately for better timing.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: I'm not staying. I'm coming with you.
Commander Shepard - Male: I wasn't going to ask.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Why not?
Commander Shepard - Male: Because I respect you, damn it! You think I don't want you to come with me?
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: So ask me!
Commander Shepard - Male: Tali...
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: I don't know how much time we have left. I don't know if we can beat the Reapers. But whatever happens, I want to be with you.
Commander Shepard - Male: I bet you say that to every guy who gets you a homeworld.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Only the cute ones.

Commander Shepard - Male: Geth don't use windows, remember? Structural weakness.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Oh yeah, I bet the Geth are all sitting around saying "The organics would *never* try the no-windows thing twice".

Garrus Vakarian: So, Shepard, you can serve this swill but can you drink it?
Commander Shepard - Male: Someone has to drive you all home.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Are we sure the Normandy is still there? Has anyone else tried to steal it?
Kasumi Goto: [Uncloaks behind Traynor] Stealing the Normandy? Now there's an idea!
[Cloaks again]
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Wait, what? Who?
Commander Shepard - Male: Traynor, you still have your toothbrush?
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: We can always *hic* get another Normandy. Call up *hic* Cerberus, and ask them to please build us the SR-3.
Samara: But wouldn't that require you to change your name? Tali'Zorah von Normandy SR-3?
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: It's VAS Normandy. *hic* Von means "one who has a weak bladder." Which feels appropriate right about now.
Garrus Vakarian: We've seen a lot of good times on the old girl.
Dr. Liara T'Soni: That we have.
Samara: Indeed.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Hear, hear.
Lieutenant Samantha Traynor: Some of you more than others. I'm just honored to have squeaked in.
Commander Shepard - Male: To the Normandy.

Commander Shepard - Male: Conrad, do you even have a wife?
Conrad Verner: Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes... Well... no. But see...
Commander Shepard - Male: Conrad, if you have some kind of weird shrine of me, I will be *very* unhappy.
Conrad Verner: It's just a poster and a few candles. It's very tasteful.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Hey, Commander! Check out my new copilot!
Commander Shepard - Male: So she installed herself into the new body without any help from you?
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Come on, Commander. Don't you trust me? Okay, let me put it this way: if I knew EDI was gonna install herself into a sexy robot body, do you honestly think I'd be able to keep quiet about it?
[gesturing towards EDI]
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Look at that! I would've baked a cake!
EDI: I am right here, Jeff.
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: Yes you are, EDI. Yes you are.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: When I was a quarian on Pilgirmage, I used to walk by that sushi place and watch the fish through the window. I knew they would never let me inside, but I told myself, someday, when I've proven my worth to the galaxy, I'll go there for dinner... And then, you broke their floor.
Commander Shepard - Male: Do they even serve food for you there?
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Not the point, Shepard!

Commander Shepard - Male: Tali's our expert on Geth hardware. She'll be handling hacking and security.
Lt. James Vega: Nice to meet you, Sparks.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Sparks?
Lt. James Vega: Yeah, you've got lights in your... uh... and you're kind of small and jumpy.
[Awkward silence]
Lt. James Vega: It just came out.
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: If you say so.

Urdnot Grunt: The Prothean here wants to know who would win in a fight between me and Wrex.
Zaeed Massani: You gotta admit Shepard, it's a good question.
Commander Shepard - Male: It *is* a good question.
Urdnot Wrex: No, it isn't. Baby pyjak here wouldn't stand a chance.
Urdnot Grunt: Don't listen to this old fossil. The only thing he could defeat is a glass of warm milk.
Urdnot Wrex: Ha! I got head lice bigger than you, Junior.

Commander Shepard - Male: [Meeting Miranda at the roulette table in the casino] Miranda.
Miranda Lawson: You clean up well, Shepard.
[Enters a bet at the table]
Miranda Lawson: Thought we could enjoy an evening out.
Commander Shepard - Male: Sounds like you have some time to catch your breath.
Miranda Lawson: I do, just... not used to it. Feeling a bit lost. It's kind of sad, really. I got to thinking we needed a break. No point in saving the galaxy if we can't enjoy it once in a while.
Commander Shepard - Male: I have to say, I'm a bit surprised.
Miranda Lawson: I thought you might be. I can be... severe.
Commander Shepard - Male: You're focused. Believe me, I understand.
Miranda Lawson: I was thinking about our talk earlier. About having a normal life...
[the roulette wheel presents its number. Miranda loses]
Miranda Lawson: Damn, I'm not very good at this. Truth is, Shepard, I'm not very good at being normal, either. Bit of a disaster, really.
Commander Shepard - Male: I get it. We just need a little practice.
Miranda Lawson: Any ideas?
Commander Shepard - Male: Oh, I've got some ideas.
[Stands behind Miranda, putting his arms around her]
Commander Shepard - Male: Miranda, you're here, you're beautiful, and I have you to myself. So tonight, I'm just going to be a regular guy taking his best girl out on the town.
Miranda Lawson: No space heroes or super-spies?
Commander Shepard - Male: Nope. Just bright lights, a few games, and some very foolish choices. Agreed?
Miranda Lawson: [Lightly giggles] Agreed. I'm going to need more wine.
Commander Shepard - Male: [to a passing waiter] Get this woman more wine.
Miranda Lawson: You're pretty sexy when you're pushy.

Kasumi Goto: [Shepard hears Kasumi in his closet] And the "boxers or briefs" question is finally answered.
[Shepard walks in]
Kasumi Goto: Oh, hey, Shep.
Commander Shepard - Male: You're going through my drawers?
Kasumi Goto: [Uncloaks] I go through everyone's drawers.
Commander Shepard - Male: Can't you just mingle and have fun, like a normal person?
Kasumi Goto: Why would I want to do that? By the way, you have excellent taste in underwear.
Commander Shepard - Male: [sighs] Glad you could make it, Kasumi.
Kasumi Goto: Thanks. I'm having a really good time.
Commander Shepard - Male: By your very strange standards.
Kasumi Goto: [Cloaks] Yup.
[as Shepard walks out]
Kasumi Goto: Well, at least they're clean.

Miranda Lawson: Aw, they shut down my favorite sushi place.
Commander Shepard - Male: That's... a shame.
Miranda Lawson: Shepard, you didn't...
Commander Shepard - Male: I did. Fell right through the fish tank.
Miranda Lawson: How did you do that?
Commander Shepard - Male: It... exploded.
[Miranda shakes her head in disbelief]
Commander Shepard - Male: It was the clone's plan, not mine!
Miranda Lawson: Blowing up a fish tank shouldn't be part of anyone's plan. Although, executing marine life seems to be some sort of hobby with you. No wonder your clone couldn't resist.

Urdnot Wrex: All right, everyone. Uncle Urdnot is back in town, and he brought the boom!
Commander Shepard - Male: Is that a catch phrase or something, Wrex?
Urdnot Wrex: Thought I'd try it out, see what you think!
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy: Try again!

Urdnot Wrex: I appreciate the assist, Garrus.
Garrus Vakarian: Figured you'd gone soft sitting on your throne. Forgot how to hold a gun.
Javik: He wouldn't be king then, would he?
Urdnot Wrex: Who's that?
Commander Shepard - Male: He's a prothean.
Urdnot Wrex: Sometimes I'm not sure if the Normandy's a war ship or a travelling freak show.

Mass Effect (2007) (VG)
Female Commander Shepard: The council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they're careful with newcomers.
Kaiden Alenko: They probably just want to keep everything running. It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together.
Ashley Williams: Or maybe they just don't like humans.
Female Commander Shepard: Why not? We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want.
Kaiden Alenko: When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you. I mean, us! Humans! Ma'am.
Ashley Williams: You don't take much shore leave, do you, L-T?

Female Commander Shepard: What's wrong with your assistant?
Dr. Warren: Manuel has a brilliant mind, but he's always been a bit... unstable. Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin.
Dr. Manuel: Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand that there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I'm the only sane one left.
Dr. Warren: I gave him an extra dose of his meds after the attack.
Female Commander Shepard: Say goodnight, Manuel.
Dr. Manuel: You cannot silence the truth! My voice must be heard - ungh!
[Shepard punches Dr. Manuel unconscious]
Dr. Warren: Oh my God! What did you do?
Kaiden Alenko: That might've been a little extreme, Commander

Yaroslev Tartakovsky: [Shepard's Squad arrives at the Rift Station Hot Labs, finds a lone man sitting in the middle of the control room; the man appears confused] Are you here to secure the situation?
Female Commander Shepard: If by "secure" you mean "shoot every monster I see," sure.

Juliana Baynham: [Juliana Baynham has asked Cmdr. Shepard to come and hear her idea about how to deal with the Thorian, a creature mind-controlling the local colonists] I'm glad you've decided to help us. I think there's a way to avoid killing the colonists.
Female Commander Shepard: What did you have in mind?
Juliana Baynham: I think you could safely use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists.
Dr. Lizbeth Baynham: Like a gas grenade!
Female Commander Shepard: Releasing clouds of nerve gas doesn't seem like a particularly good idea.
Juliana Baynham: It's not like it's weapons grade. The insecticide we use in the gro-labs contains trace amounts of Tetraclopine, a neuromuscular degenerator. If their nervous systems are already weakened, it may act as a paralyzing agent.
Urdnott Wrex: If we must consider it, drop it in a concussion grenade.

Female Commander Shepard: [Shepard has made the decision concerning the rachni] Make your peace with the galaxy. The rachni are a dead race.
Garrus Vakarian: We can't exterminate them. Not without the Council's approval. Genocide is one of the reasons we fought the krogan -
[realizes what he has just said]
Garrus Vakarian: Ah...
Urdnott Wrex: [Angered] You want to learn about genocide, Vakarian? I'll take you to a krogan obstetrician's office.
Rachni Queen Speaking Through an Asari Commando: Is our kind so frightening? You would seek our silence if you cannot muffle our songs? If you cannot have us as your obedient claws?
Female Commander Shepard: No... I can't do this. I'll let you go free.
Rachni Queen Speaking Through an Asari Commando: You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children.
Urdnott Wrex: [Annoyed] Great. Bugs are writing songs about you. Mark my words. You'll regret this.

Female Commander Shepard: [Cmdr. Shepard is a War Hero, which makes for a conversation subject with Ashley] I come from a military family too. My parents were both navy. Anybody in your family we might know?
Ashley Williams: [Evasive] Couldn't say, Commander.
Ashley Williams: We probably have a lot in common. You join up to carry on the tradition?
Female Commander Shepard: I'm here to put hyper-velocity rounds through the heads of bad guys.
Ashley Williams: Most satisfying part of the job, Commander.

Urdnott Wrex, Kaiden Alenko: This isn't right, Shepard. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it.
Female Commander Shepard: This has to be done. Saren's the enemy, not me.
Urdnott Wrex: Really? Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it. Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand.
Female Commander Shepard: I don't care what your personal feelings are. This base gets destroyed.
Urdnott Wrex: Don't push me, Shepard. I followed you because I wanted to fight for something more than credits. If you can't give me a better reason than this to destroy the hopes of my people, then I'm done with you.
Female Commander Shepard: All you need to know is that I'm giving you an order to fall in line.
Urdnott Wrex: So that's it. All this time, and that's all I get from you? How can you not see what this means to the Krogan? This base can't be destroyed. I won't allow it!
[Shepard hits Wrex over the head and shoots him three times]
Kaiden Alenko: Commander. Are you... alright?
Female Commander Shepard: I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than he is.

Mira: It looks like you are trying to restore this facility. Would you like some help?
Commander Shepard: Oh crap, a pop-up.

[Shepard and company, trapped in a crumbling mine, confront opposition]
Commander Shepard: In case you hadn't noticed, this whole place is falling apart!
Krogan Mercenary: Exhilarating, isn't it?

Kaiden Alenko: Now we have to find... to find...
Commander Shepard: [sees the Thorian] That's... large.

Ashley Williams: That puts a whole new spin on the phrase "drop on the floor and give me twenty".
Commander Shepard: You still sassin' me soldier? I think you need more physical training.
Ashley Williams: Tsk. Now, skipper, what will it take to prove I'm in prime condition?

Commander Shepard: Together we can stop Sovreign. We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can beat them!
Saren Arterius: I no longer belive that Shepard. The visions cannot be denied. The Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovreign is a machine. It thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource, worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion.
Commander Shepard: You were a Spectre. You swore to protect the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save yourself.
Saren Arterius: I'm not doing this for myself. Don't you see, Sovreign will succeed. It is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. I'm forging an alliance between us and the Reapers, between organics and machines, and in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed. But you would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation, and for that, you must die.

Commander Shepard: You think I'm crazy, don't you?
Urdnott Wrex: Sometimes crazy is the best way to go.

Conrad Verner: What if you signed me on as another Spectre?
Commander Shepard: Conrad, I haven't been shot in the head nearly enough times to make that sound like a good idea.

Ashley Williams: So all we have to do is find this Thorian thing and... woah.
Commander Shepard: We're gonna need bigger guns.

Commander Shepard: You must have family other than your father. Don't you miss them?
Urdnott Wrex: You trying to make me cry, Shepard?

Captain Maeko Matsuo: Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons.
[the team draws]
Urdnott Wrex: Don't try it.
Commander Shepard: Let's not start a fight.
Urdnott Wrex: Why not?

Commander Shepard: You must have had some kind of interesting experience.
Urdnott Wrex: Well, there was this one time the Turians tried to wipe out our entire race. That was fun.

Commander Shepard: The Council can kiss my ass!

Asari Councilor: Commander. Is this some kind of game? Are you calling in a report just so you can cut us off again?
Commander Shepard: You know it.
[disconnects communication]
Jeff 'Joker' Moreau: That never gets old, does it?

Turian Councilor: Do you take pleasure from committing genocide, Shepard?
Commander Shepard: Depends on the species, Turian.

Commander Shepard: [points gun at Conrad Verner's face] Conrad, you have no idea what it takes to get the job done. This is how a gun in your face feels! It happens to me every day. You can't handle this.
Conrad Verner: [starts crying] I thought you were a hero! Hero's don't do things like this! I wish I'd never met you.

Alestia Iallis: [an asari enters the room accompanied by armed geth] Your mission ends here, Shepard.
Ashley Williams: What the hell?
Commander Shepard: She's surrounded by geth and pointing a gun at us. Shoot her!

Sovereign: You are not Saren.
Garrus Vakarian: What is that? Some kind of VI interface?
Sovereign: Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.
Garrus Vakarian: I don't think this is a VI...
Sovereign: There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign.
Commander Shepard: Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found. It's an actual Reaper!
Sovereign: Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply... are.
Garrus Vakarian: The Protheans vanished over 50,000 years ago. You couldn't have been there, it's impossible!
Sovereign: Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything.
Commander Shepard: Whatever your plan is, it's going to fail. I'll make sure of that.
Sovereign: Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken.
Tali'Zorah nar Rayya: Cycle? What cycle?
Sovereign: The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance, and at the apex of their glory they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They mere found them - the legacy of my kind.
Commander Shepard: Why would you construct the mass relays and leave them for someone else to find?
Sovereign: Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your civilization develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic life. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.
Tali'Zorah nar Rayya: They're harvesting us! Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!
Commander Shepard: What do you want from us? Slaves, resources?
Sovereign: My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation - independent, free of all weakness. You cannot grasp the nature of our existence.
Commander Shepard: Where did you come from? Who built you?
Sovereign: We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure.
Commander Shepard: Where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?
Sovereign: We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom.
Commander Shepard: You're not even alive! Not really. You're just a machine, and machines can be broken!
Sovereign: Your words are as empty as your future. I am the Vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over...

Ambassador Calyn: Pleased greetings: Human it is always good to see your kind. I am Ambassador Calyn. Genuine query: Is there something I can do for you this day?
Commander Shepard: Why do you explain what you're about to say?
Ambassador Calyn: Our people communicate less through words and more through scent and slight movements. Plainly: We discovered our vocal expression was not enough to convey the feelings of our conversations to other species.
Din Korlack: Why do you bother, Calyn? These Earth-clan don't really care about our ways!
Ambassador Calyn: Remorseful response, Din: You don't truly believe that. And if you do, I am very sorry for you.
Commander Shepard: Goodbye, Ambassador.
Ambassador Calyn: Sincere farewell: Good day to you, human. Enjoy your time on the Citadel.

Gianna Parasini: You can't bludgeon your way through bureacracy, Shepard.
Commander Shepard: I can bludgeon pretty hard.

Turian Councilor: [the council refuse to believe Shepard, despite the truth of his past claims] I believe there is a saying amongst you humans: "even a broken clock is correct two times a day."
Commander Shepard: Here's another saying: *go to hell!*

Commander Shepard: I need to activate the neutron purge.
Mira: I'm sorry, but the proper authorization code is required.
Commander Shepard: [Mumbling] Uh... Sic semper, tyrana...
Commander Shepard: [Coughs]

Commander Shepard: It's nice to know where I stand with the galaxy. But where do I stand with you?
Ashley Williams: About a meter away. Maybe 1.2 meters... sir.

Ashley Williams: [after listening to a message from her sister about how cute Shepard is. Turns around, seeing Shepard right behind her] Please tell me you didn't hear that.
Commander Shepard: Afraid I did.
Ashley Williams: Oh, shoot me now.