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: My name shall be carved in stone alongside the great traitors: Lucifer, Judas, and Arnold.
: [Facing the militia
] All of Britain could not slay me. Can you lads?
: You know... it's no wonder you're own men call you "Granny Gates". Put your knitting aside, general and come see the battle up close!
: Wait! Before you send him to hell, there's something you should see. That's a photo of Homer and I at our wedding. Richard Nixon
: Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room? Marge
: Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... before the wedding.
[the Jury of the Damned all laugh
: Read the back, the back. Blackbeard
: Arrr! 'Tis some sort of treasure map. Benedict Arnold
: [snatches it away
] You idiot, you can't read! Blackbeard
: Aye, 'tis true. My debauchery was my way of compensatin'.