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Quotes for
Dr. Nick Riviera (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Simpsons: Homer's Triple Bypass (#4.11)" (1992)
Dr. Julius Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.
Homer Simpson: Say it in English, Doc!
Dr. Julius Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery.
Homer Simpson: Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo!
Dr. Julius Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
Homer Simpson: Could you dumb it down a shade?

[while operating on Homer]
Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Dr. Nick: Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want.

Mr. McGreg: Dr. Nick Riviera. Remember me?
Dr. Nick: Why, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.

[Dr. Nick's commercial]
Dr. Nick: You've tried the best. Now try the rest.


"The Simpsons: Who Shot Mr. Burns?: Part 2 (#7.1)" (1995)
[Smithers is at the police station after confessing to having shot Mr. Burns]
Smithers: And when he planned to steal our sunlight, he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy.
Dr. Colossus: Bah! He was a rank amateur compared to... Dr. Colossus! AH-HA-HA, AH-HA-HA-HAAA...
[Laughing maniacally, he presses a button on his belt, "Colosso-Boots" and the soles of his boots extend at super speed - ramming his head into the ceiling]
Dr. Colossus: OW!
[groans]
Dr. Colossus: When is my lawyer coming?

Sideshow Mel: I am Melvin Van Horn. And this is my associate, Herschel Krustofsky.
Krusty the Clown: Hey-hey.
Sideshow Mel: Officers, you have arrested an innocent man!
Chief Wiggum: Really? Ah, jeez.
[Opens cell door]
Chief Wiggum: All right, Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.
Dr. Colossus: But all my stuff is there.

Dr. Nick Riviera: Hi everybody!
Mr. Burns: [to the tune of "Hi Dr. Nick"] Ho-mer Simp-son!
Dr. Nick Riviera: Okay, that was weird

Dr. Nick Riviera: Hi everybody!
Mr. Burns: Ho... mer Simp... son
Mr. Burns: Okay?

Dr. Nick Riviera: When you were in that coma did you feel your brain getting damaged?


"The Simpsons: The Springfield Files (#8.10)" (1997)
Dr. Nick Riviera: Don't worry. You won't feel a thing...
[exhibiting a swirling mechanical device]
Dr. Nick Riviera: ...till I jam this down your throat!

Mr. Burns: And now that I am back to normal I don't bring love. I bring hate, fear and...
Dr. Nick Riviera: Time for your booster!
Mr. Burns: Good morning starshine...


"The Simpsons: Saturdays of Thunder (#3.9)" (1991)
Troy McClure: I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.
Dr Nick: Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody.
Crowd: Hi, Dr. Nick.


The Simpsons: Cartoon Studio (1996) (VG)
Dr. Nick: Your eyebrows are dilated.


The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Dr. Nick: Bye, everybody!


"The Simpsons: Weekend at Burnsie's (#13.16)" (2002)
[Homer is getting stitches in his eyes]
Homer: I hate getting stitches in my eye. Stupid crows.
Dr. Julius Hibbert: Now, don't be mad at the crows, Homer. They weren't trying to blind you, they were just trying to drink your sweet, sweet eye juices.


"The Simpsons: 22 Short Films About Springfield (#7.21)" (1996)
Hospital Chairman: Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant.
Dr. Nick: But I cleaned them with my napkin.


"The Simpsons: My Sister, My Sitter (#8.17)" (1997)
Snake: [Talking to the receptionist at Dr. Nick's clinic] Um, I must have, like, fallen on a bullet, and it like, drove itself into my gut.
Dr. Nick Riviera: [the receptionist checks off "Liquor Store Robbery" on her checklist] Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!


"The Simpsons: Trilogy of Error (#12.18)" (2001)
Dr. Nick: 'Inflammable' means flammable? What a country.


"The Simpsons: King Size Homer (#7.7)" (1995)
Dr. Nick: Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?