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Quotes for
Ted Hoffman (Character)
from "Murder One" (1995)

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"Murder One: Chapter Ten (#1.10)" (1996)
[Neil is in Ted Hoffman's office. They are discussing a letter Neil received from an obsessed fan. In the letter, the fan confesses to Jessica Costello's murder]
Theodore Hoffman: We should find out where Holly Gerges is currently living. If she's inclined to confess to the murder of Jessica Costello, Ray Velacek and I ought to have a little talk with her. Her hands fit around Jessica Costello's throat as easily as anyone else's.

[a key witness for the defense has just died of unknown causes while in police custody. Ted Hoffman believes Richard Cross is involved]
Theodore Hoffman: What are the actuarials of a woman in her thirties dropping dead on cue?
Ray Velacek: If it was a hit, it was pretty sophisticated.
Theodore Hoffman: Richard Cross is a pretty sophisticated guy.

[Ted Hoffman confronts Richard Cross about all the vile things he's done recently]
Theodore Hoffman: I know what you did Richard; even if I'll never be able to prove it. Just as I know you were involved in this girl's murder; and Dave Blalock's; and Jessica Costello's. Blow all the smoke you want, I see right through it. I see through the alibis, the surrogates, the veils of lies and deception, to the sickness at the core of your being.
Richard Cross: [Speaking softly] I'm going to leave now before any more hurtful things are said that might make it that much harder to mend fences later on. Good night my friend.

Richard Cross: Teddy, if you are implying that I started those awful rumors about you and Francesca just to gain some advantage...
Theodore Hoffman: I'm not implying Richard, I'm stating the facts as I understand them to be.

"Murder One: Chapter Seven (#1.7)" (1995)
[Theodore Hoffman is meeting with Dr. Lester; in Lester's office]
Dr. Graham Lester: I resent your suggesting that I would do anything to undermine the well being of one of my patients.
Theodore Hoffman: If you're so anxious to help, why didn't I hear about the call from you a long time ago?
Dr. Graham Lester: Maybe I didn't think it was in Neil's best interests to tell you. Did that ever occur to you counselor?
Theodore Hoffman: Would your definition of Neil's best interests include keeping him out of the gas chamber?

[Chris Docknovich and Justine Appleton are with Ted in his office. D.A. Roger Garfield and Miriam Grasso are on the TV holding a press conference about the leaks coming from the DA's office]
D.A. Roger Garfield: [reading from a prepared statement] In any case involving significant public interest there are bound to be unsubstantiated leaks and rumours. While it is impossible to shut down all of these leak, it has come to my attention, that at least one of them has emanated from this office...
[focus returns to Ted's office. The statement continues in the background]
Theodore Hoffman: Shocking! Gambling in Casablance.
D.A. Roger Garfield: ...strongest possible assurance to the press and the public at large that every effort has been made to see that this does not occur again. To the extent that this episode has embarrassed Miriam Grasso, she has my sincerest apologies...
[Focus returns to Ted's office. The statement continues in the background]
Chris Docknovich: He's not just down on one knee; he's in full grovel.
D.A. Roger Garfield: ...This case is her's to win.
Justine Appleton: In other words, guess whose ass it is if Neil walks.

[Ted and Chris Docknovich are in Miriam Grasso's office watching a news report about how the defense will sleep better now that Miriam has quit from prosecuting the case]
Miriam Grasso: How'bout it Ted? Getting any more sleep these days?
Theodore Hoffman: I feel like I've been watching a production of waiting for Godot. It's fascinating, but what does it mean?
Miriam Grasso: It means that the leak about Lester's nurse came from Garfield. I cornered him in his office. Told him I didn't appreciate him going around me to the press. And then after a brief stab at a denial, he admitted it. And one thing led to another and I quit.
Theodore Hoffman: Do you think that's wise?
Miriam Grasso: I'm not getting rich in this job Teddy. All I have is my reputation. I think your client's guilty as hell. But I don't like to feel like somebody's puppet. Especially when it's Roger Garfield's hand that's up my dress.
Miriam Grasso: [Directed to Chris Docknovich] Excuse my language young man.
Theodore Hoffman: Who's replacing you?
Miriam Grasso: It's up to Roger.
Theodore Hoffman: Well, speaking personally Miriam, I'm gonna miss you.
Miriam Grasso: With all due modesty, you've got a better chance of getting Neil off without me.
Theodore Hoffman: Maybe. But this case is turning into a circus. And if Garfield has his way, it's gonna get worse. This case needs your honesty Miriam.
Miriam Grasso: Blow any more smoke up my bustle and you're gonna set the sprinklers off.
Theodore Hoffman: It's no flattery; it's the truth. Stay on the case.
Miriam Grasso: Funny; you didn't seem quite this charitable last night on Deadline America.
Theodore Hoffman: New deck, new deal. We'll start over.
Miriam Grasso: I don't know Ted. But I'll take it under advisement.
[Chris and Ted get up and leave Grasso's office]
Chris Docknovich: Teddy. Did I miss something in there? Getting Grasso off the case is the best thing that could've happened to us.
Theodore Hoffman: How much money you got in your pocket?
Chris Docknovich: Well, maybe thirty bucks.
Theodore Hoffman: I'll put up my next week's draw against your thirty dollars that before the week is out, Miriam Grasso will be back on the case and Roger Garfield will be licking her boot.
Chris Docknovich: She just quit!
Theodore Hoffman: She's paper training that idiot. If you think Miriam is gonna walk off the biggest case in her life, you got another thing coming.

"Murder One: Chapter Twenty-Three (#1.23)" (1996)
Roberto Portalegre: You should know, Mr. Hoffman, killing that girl was not difficult for me. On the contrary, I took pleasure in it.
Ted Hoffman: Some free advice. Don't make that the cornerstone of your defense.

Ted Hoffman: Just remember, it's easier to ruin a life twice than it is to save it once.

"Murder One: Chapter Thirteen (#1.13)" (1996)
[Richard Cross has just left Ted's office]
Chris Docknovich: What did Cross want?
Theodore Hoffman: To deny that he's HIV positive; and to accuse me of spreading the rumour.
Chris Docknovich: How'd he know we were looking into that?
Theodore Hoffman: Best guess; he's got a mole in the DA's office.
Chris Docknovich: Meaning the rumour is true, or it isn't.
Theodore Hoffman: After Losey, I was prepared to say no. But when Richard Cross tells me there's no smoke, I look for fire.

[Ted is at the police station. He comes face to face with Mitchell Garron, the attorney of the woman who kidnapped his daughter. Garron acts in a very sleazy and despicable manner when he describes how he will get his client off]
Theodore Hoffman: The DA goes after your client; you go after my daughter.
Mitchell Garron, Esq.: As I said, I'm sick that this involves your kid. But you know better than anyone Ted; what you do, what I do, it's all part of the job description. Best to you wife.
[He leaves]
Det. Arthur Polson: Now you know how we feel.

"Murder One: Chapter Two (#1.2)" (1995)
Theodore Hoffman: Either of you notice the only two guys mentioned with whom young Jessica didn't have sex?
Justine Appleton: Richard Cross.
Theodore Hoffman: And Graham Lester.
Chris Docknovich: [Chris sighs] They're either saints, homos, or something's out of whack.
Justine Appleton: Well, they're not saints.

"Murder One: Chapter Twenty (#1.20)" (1996)
[Late in the evening, Gary Blondo shows up at Ted's office with two young ladies. They are big fans of Ted, and Gary wants Ted to come and party with them. You get the impression that it would probably lead to sex]
Collette: We saw you on TV today Mr. Hoffman and I must say, you have such a wonderful way with words.
Gary Blondo: Are you kidding? The man is a master. F. Lee Bailey couldn't lift his jock strap.
[the ladies giggle]
Theodore Hoffman: Ladies, would you excuse us for a moment. Gary, whatever you have in mind here; I'm not interested.
Gary Blondo: Are you insane? Teddy, you are at this moment as hot as a man gets. Strike now or forever hold your 'piece'. If you know what I mean?

"Murder One: Chapter Six (#1.6)" (1995)
[Gary Blondo, the movie producer, is very happy, because Neil Avedon, the star of his new movie, is out of jail on bail. He brings a fruit basket to Ted Hoffman to thank him]
Gary Blondo: You're getting one of my points in Neil's picture.
Theodore Hoffman: Not appropriate Gary.
Gary Blondo: Agree to disagree with me Ted. When parasites and hasbeens are getting seven figures, the man who saves my picture deserves one of my points. And we're talking true gross Teddy.
Theodore Hoffman: You don't think the public would've felt a morbid fascination about Neil's film if he was still in jail?
Gary Blondo: Oh those warpos we'd get whether he's in jail or not. I want the normals Teddy. The girls who get moist whenever Neil does an interview. We get no dampness with him in Parker Center
Theodore Hoffman: [In a terse impatient manner] Thanks for the fruit. Do we have any other business?
Gary Blondo: [Forces a small chuckle] My film's comming out. My star is on the street. You don't want a guy to have fun for 10 seconds; do you Ted? Just because I had lunch with Richard Cross. Come on Teddy. How many guys do you know who can put nine figures into independent product who don't need a parking space for their camel?
Theodore Hoffman: See if this makes you happy. Rusty Arnold works for Richard.
Gary Blondo: Rusty Arnold works for the studio.
Theodore Hoffman: That's his day job. You called Rusty Arnold to deliver the money to Dave Blalock. And I think Rusty Arnold reported to Richard Cross. I think Richard Cross had Dave Blalock killed. And I think your security guy pulled the trigger. So take your point and shove it up your ass.
Gary Blondo: [In a completely disconcerted way] You're wrong.
Theodore Hoffman: I don't think so. And if I'm not, you're in way over your head. These people are killers. Doesn't matter if you're in bed with them or not. If it suits their purpose you might be the next one dead. I'm busy. I gather we're done.

"Murder One: Chapter Seventeen (#1.17)" (1996)
[a series of women have just testified that Dr. Lester drugged and raped them. As he leaves the court room, Ted is questionned by reporters]
Reporter #1: How'd it go today Ted?
Theodore Hoffman: Exceedingly well
Reporter #2: How successful do you think you were in undermining Graham Lester's credibility?
Theodore Hoffman: As far as I'm concerned, Graham Lester never had that much credibility to begin with. What there was of it is gone.

"Murder One: Chapter Eight (#1.8)" (1995)
[Hoffman reluctantly agrees to go along with something he thinks is unwise]
Gary Blondo: This is why you're a star Ted. You're tough minded, but you're not afraid to look past your own point of view to see the bigger picture. If you ever decide you want to run a studio...
[Hoffman makes a gun shape with his right hand, and puts the barrel/index finger to his head]
Theodore Hoffman: Put the bullet right here.

"Murder One: Chapter Three (#1.3)" (1995)
[Hoffman is angry at Doctor Lester. He thinks the doctor is incompetent]
Theodore Hoffman: My God! The continent tilts and every quack with a diploma rolls out here and gets an ocean view
Dr. Graham Lester: On the off chance that you're myopic, Mr. Hoffman, let me acquaint you with my wall hangings. I am board certified by both the American Colleges of Internal Medicine and of Psychiatry. I am a teaching clinical professor at the University of...
[Hoffman cuts him off mid sentence]
Theodore Hoffman: And I can name five Popes who killed people.

"Murder One: Chapter Fourteen (#1.14)" (1996)
[Earlier in the season, David Blalock died trying to get an important videotape for Ted. Ray has just acquired it, and both he and Ted have just finished viewing it]
Ray Velacek: This tape pretty well kills Richard Cross' alibi.
Theodore Hoffman: Not to mention, it pretty well killed Davey Blalock.

"Murder One: Chapter Sixteen (#1.16)" (1996)
[Gary Blondo has finished his testimony and comes off looking like a perverted child molester/murderer. He gets into his wheelchair and is wheeled out of court]
Gary Blondo: [In a sickly and pityful manner] Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get in my chair and see if I can salvage what remains of my career and my marriage. They took an EKG of my heart the other day, and they may have found an arrithmea, but they found no hatred there, no perversion...
[he rambles on]
Chris Docknovich: I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard.
Theodore Hoffman: Don't. If there's ever a nuclear holocaust, find Gary Blondo and stand next to him. The man's a survivor.

"Murder One: Chapter Four (#1.4)" (1995)
[Hoffman is meeting with Dr. Lester in the lobby. They are talking about Richard Cross]
Dr. Graham Lester: Isn't this conversation better suited to your office?
Theodore Hoffman: What's he got on you?
Dr. Graham Lester: Meeting me out here, talking to me in this tone; you're disrespect for me does not go unnoticed.
Theodore Hoffman: There'd be something wrong with both of us if it did.