Tommy Gavin
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Quotes for
Tommy Gavin (Character)
from "Rescue Me" (2004)

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"Rescue Me: Guts (#1.1)" (2004)
Tommy Gavin: So, you got a woman who can do the job better than the guys on my crew? Bring her on. You know? You got a martian, or a cyborg, or a China man that can do the job, bring them on too.
Dr. Goldberg: Are there any Chinese firefighters?
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, probably. Somewhere in China.

Jimmy Keefe: All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's review. Why are you two seperated?
Tommy Gavin: According to her.
Jimmy Keefe: Yeah.
Tommy Gavin: You know, I... she says I couldn't open up, I wasn't emotionally available, blah, blah, blah.

Tommy Gavin: I got 15 to 20 large jars of piss someone dumped down the stairs.
Chief Jerry Reilly: Are we talking about human piss?
Tommy Gavin: [to Mike] Hey kid, taste that piss and tell me if it's human.
[Mike laughs but everyone gives him a serious look]
Tommy Gavin: Sometime today would be nice.

Tommy Gavin: He's a junkie, not an omelet.

Tommy Gavin: You want to know how big my balls are? My balls are bigger than two of your heads duct-taped together. I've been in the middle of shit that would make you piss your pants right now. Uptown, downtown, Harlem, Brooklyn. But there ain't no medals on my chest, assholes, 'cause I ain't no hero. I'm a fireman. We're not in the business of making heroes here. We're in the business of discovering cowards, 'cause that's what you are if you can't take the heat. You're a pussy, and there ain't no room for pussies in the FDNY.
[to a snickering recruit in the first row]
Tommy Gavin: What are you laughing at, shithead? Huh? What's so god damn funny?
Recruit: I just... .
Tommy Gavin: Shut up! You speak when spoken to.
[to the entire upper class]
Tommy Gavin: You pussies better pray you don't get assigned to my firehouse. Because I have seen it all. I knew sixty men who gave their lives at Ground Zero. Sixty. Four of them from my house. Vito Castella... found him almost whole. Ricky Davis... found him almost whole, hugging a civilian woman. Bobby Vincent... found his head. And my cousin, Jimmy Keefe, my best friend. You know what they found of him? What I was able to bring back and give to his parents? A finger. That's all. A finger. These four men were better human beings and better firefighters than any of you will ever be.
Firefighting Class Instructor: Say "thank you," firefighting upper class!
Firefighting Upper Class: Thank you, Firefighter Gavin, sir!

Chief Jerry Reilly: Look, what are the odds of you guys actually, you know, breaking up?
Tommy Gavin: [In disbelief] There's a pool on my divorce?
Chief Jerry Reilly: Nooo... . Yeah.

Tommy Gavin: My cousin, the priest, said it's all apart of God's plan, like God's got a plan. You know what, if there is a God, then he's got a shit load of explaining to do.

"Rescue Me: Devil (#3.1)" (2006)
Tommy Gavin: How ya doin'?
Uncle Teddy: I lost another five pounds, 83 total.
Tommy Gavin: Wow.
Uncle Teddy: Yeah. This murder 1's the best goddamn diet I ever been on.

Tommy's Dad: I dunno how to clean sheets. I'm a g*ddamn war hero, a**hole!
Tommy Gavin: Oh, yeah? Well, get your fat g*ddamn war hero ass into the shower, right now.

Tommy Gavin: Oh, no, what'd you - - piss the bed again?
Tommy's Dad: I knew I shouldn't have drunk those last five glasses of wine.
Tommy Gavin: G*ddamn. It's like having a G*ddamn baby around the house again.

Uncle Teddy: [from jail cell] Lost another 5 pounds. 83 so far.
Tommy Gavin: Wow.
Uncle Teddy: Yeah, this Murder One diet is the way to go.

Uncle Teddy: How's your dick?
Tommy Gavin: Out of practice.

"Rescue Me: Shame (#2.7)" (2005)
Tommy Gavin: Me in a hotel with a mini-bar. How's that story end?

Tommy Gavin: What, are you drinking all day now?
Tommy's Dad: I'm 82. I'm retired, and I'm married to a new and much younger woman who's not only rich but likes to bang my brains out at least 3 times a week. So I'm not drinking kid. I'm in a perpetual toast.

Johnny Gavin: [fighting over a woman] I got dibs.
Tommy Gavin: Why do you got dibs?
Johnny Gavin: Because I'm the one with the gun

"Rescue Me: Happy (#2.12)" (2005)
Tommy's Dad: Nobody changes, Tommy. You know that.
Tommy Gavin: I changed. I quit drinking.
Tommy's Dad: That doesn't mean you've changed. That means you're a pussy.

Janet Gavin: We should renew our vows.
Tommy Gavin: Huh?
Janet Gavin: You know, have like a little ceremony. Invite our friends and family. Let the whole world know that we are still devoted to one another.
Tommy Gavin: Well, that sounds like a lot of work, honey. Can't we just get some tattoos or something?

Maggie: I figured you and me we always had a special bond. Backed each other up.
Tommy Gavin: I know. I know.
Maggie: I figure the only reason that you like me is because I'm the only person the family hates worse than you.
Tommy Gavin: There might be a sliver of truth to that. But you know I love you and Johnny likes you.
Maggie: Oh, don't pump sunshine up my ass Tommy. Johnny is scared sh*tless of me. Always was.

"Rescue Me: Gay (#1.2)" (2004)
Sean Garrity: [a woman has been burnt to a crisp] Oh, Jesus. Nice.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, I won't be orderin' the crispy beef from that Chinese place any time soon.

Janet Gavin: Are you drinking?
Tommy Gavin: No, I'm not drinking, I'm driving!
Janet Gavin: Well you sound drunk.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, yeah I'm drunk. I'm drinking and I'm driving, you know, I just smoked some crack, and I'm getting ready to roll a nice big fat joint!

Tommy Gavin: Let me tell you something, okay?
Janet Gavin: Hey, don't you threaten me!
Tommy Gavin: If I want to threaten you, I will! Okay? You start a shit storm about my kids with me, you take 'em anywhere you want, I will hunt you down and I will find you. Four corners of the Earth, I will find you and I will take those kids back. That's not a threat, that's a goddamn promise, bitch.

"Rescue Me: Bitch (#2.11)" (2005)
Tommy Gavin: There isn't a job on the whole goddamn planet I'd rather do than this one... because everyday you do feel like you've made a difference, like you gave somehting back, ya know?

Chief Jerry Reilly: [seeing Sean and Mike play Scrabble] Look at this: A meeting of the minds and the minds are a no-show.
Tommy Gavin: [looking at the Scrabble board] Hmm. "Tag." "Arm." "It." "Go." That's great guys.
Laura Miles: Why even bother keepin' score?
Mike Silletti: [placing tiles on the board] F-E-L-L. Read it and weap
Sean Garrity: Oh, sh*t. How many points?
[Sean and Mike just stare at each other, Mike takes a little time to figure it out]
Mike Silletti: [after a few minutes] Eight.

Tommy's Dad: She was a good woman Tommy.
Tommy Gavin: You always said she was a goddamn nightmare.
Tommy's Dad: Well, that was before the cats ate her.

"Rescue Me: Ashes (#7.9)" (2011)
[Everyone is at Lou's memorial service]
Tommy Gavin: Well, I don't really have a lot to say but... fortunately Lou does. He left this letter in my locker with specific instructions on it for it not to be opened until after he died. Unlike some people we know I actually obeyed the instructions. So here goes.
[Tommy opens the letter and begins to read]
Tommy Gavin: Dear Tom, if you're reading this it probably means I'm dead. It might have come as a shock to you but I'll tell you right now I was living on borrowed time. My heart went bad a while back. I won't bore you with the details but at this stage of the game I'll be lucky if I finish this goddamn letter. If it wasn't my ticker that did me in please tell me I died after eating fifteen pizzas or during sex with either multiple women or one really big one. Either way that works for me. But seriously I hope I went on the job doing the work I was meant to do surrounded by you and the guys. Since it was mostly about food with me I'm going to leave you guys with a recipe. Take one self-absorbed pretty boy Puerto Rican. Add one-long-on-attitude, short-on-experience black guy. Then add two morons. One more stupid than the other. Mix together and let sit and then finally add one battle scarred, haunted, formerly drunken, Irish asshole who screws up his life like other people breathe. Blend all the ingredients, turn on fire and hope for the best. Sounds like shit doesn't it? Well brother, I've tasted it. I've eaten it up these last few years and it's delicious. Okay cornball I know but you guys together, you have something great. Me being gone doesn't change that. Find yourself another good-looking, slightly overweight, spoiler of women and you're back at full strength. Keep the crew together and keep fighting the fight. Don't worry about me Tom. I had a good life. I knew brotherhood. I knew being good at something. I knew what it meant to have a friend. Yeah, we had our ups and downs and we're in a major down mode at the moment but with you the ups are good enough I'll take the downs. I love you Tom. Not in that way. Okay, maybe a little that way. I'll always be with you. Your pal, Lou. P.S. Don't forget what the bagpipers are supposed to play. If you mess up I promise I'll haunt you forever asshole.

[last lines]
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: You know you're gonna have to get that fat kid as the new probie right? I mean, none of you assholes can cook. Looks like the kid knows his way around food. You know, you could have mentioned me by name out there. You're talking about heroes and brothers. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, and one more thing. You know, when you pick a photo of me for the plaque you know, in the firehouse? Can you find something that doesn't make me look so chinny? You know?
Tommy Gavin: Chinny?
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: Yeah, get one from, you know, when I was younger and thinner.
Tommy Gavin: When would that be?
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: Like freshman year in high school.
Tommy Gavin: Really?
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: Yeah. I was a buck ten.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, maybe at birth.
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: You know, that's no way to talk to the dead. But I'm gonna let it slide since you named my godson Shea Gavin.
Tommy Gavin: Pretty cool?
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: Very cool. Great name for a restaurant.
Tommy Gavin: Or a quarterback.
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: I'm gonna go with restaurant. So, you gonna sit here staring at me all day or are we gonna drive some place?
Tommy Gavin: Right. Right yeah.
Kenneth 'Lou' Shea: Duncan Hines Cake Mix huh? Well, I guess that's kinda symbolic or ironic. Not quite sure which.

Tommy Gavin: You are staring at the names of 343 heroes. Three hundred forty-three American heroes. Three hundred forty three men who ran in while the entire world stood watching and waiting. First responders on the front line of a war that may never end. I want you to stare I want you to memorize them. Go home tonight. Get on the Internet and look up these names. Find out who these men were and what they did on that day. And then you'll realize: this ain't a job. It ain't an occupation. It's a calling. A need. A desire that you feel in your bones and your brains and your nut sack. I know you assholes have passed a written test and you passed a physical test. But that don't mean nothing. Just a bunch of civil-servant bullshit! Because the real test of whether you're a chicken shit or not will come the day you get to do what these men behind me did. Because if you're lucky, one day soon, you'll get to run into a burning building while everybody else is running out. And you'll take the stairs. Two at a time. With steel in your eyes and ice water in your veins. And you'll come back down with a civilian on each shoulder. And instead of puking or crying or pissing your pants, you'll wipe your brow and run right the hell back in. That's the day, that's the moment you're gonna find out if you're a real firefighter or just one more asshole who bit off more than he could chew. Because maybe one day, you run in and the guy your buddy, your best friend, your cousin, your brother, maybe you come out, but he don't. Because he got crushed or incinerated or burned to a crisp. And you're gonna ask yourself why did I walk away, but not him? I'll tell you one thing the answer to that question is not at the bottom of a bottle. You can't drink or fight or screw your way to figuring out the answer to that question. People die. We're firefighters. We die a lot. I lost my buddy, my best friend, my cousin, my brother. Some people say it's God's will. I don't know. I don't even know if there is a God. I hope there is. Because that would mean one day all this shit is gonna make some sense. That's all I've got for you assholes!

"Rescue Me: Kansas (#1.3)" (2004)
Tommy Gavin: I could only get 300 bucks out of the ATM.
Damien: That's okay. You can owe me the rest. I trust you.
Tommy Gavin: You know what, kid? I was at your christening and I didn't drown you, okay? So let's think about who owes who. All right?

Tommy Gavin: I'll tell you what. You're going to get rid of that yourself, or I'll get rid of it for you.
Colleen Gavin: How?
Tommy Gavin: I'm sure Black & Decker has some kind of attachment.

FDNY Hockey Player: We're dying out there. Let's take a vote guys. Who wants to put the kid in?
Tommy Gavin: Pretty much unanimous.
Ryan: Yeah, well you ladies can stick your votes up your asses. This isn't a democracy; it's a dictatorship and I'm Castro.
[Tommy groans]
Ryan: The kid sits.

"Rescue Me: Sensitivity (#2.5)" (2005)
Tommy's Dad: [about the woman he had an affair with] She had an ass that you can see the future in.
Tommy Gavin: That's great. You didn't happen to stick your head up far enough to see that the Yankees were gonna lose four in a row to the Red Sox last fall, now did ya?
[John Sr. is quiet]
Tommy Gavin: I didn't think so.
Tommy's Dad: I woulda made a hell of a lotta money if I did.

Johnny Gavin: Are you outta your mind, huh? Did mom know?
Tommy's Dad: If your mother knew we wouldn't be having this conversation because I'd be dead somewhere in some river with my balls in my mouth.
[mocking Johnny]
Tommy's Dad: "Did mom know?"
Tommy Gavin: You know the guy's almost the same age as me, right? He's like a couple weeks younger. I mean how long were you seein' this broad?
Tommy's Dad: Uh... oh, about 36 years.
Johnny Gavin: What? You were having an affair for 36 years?
Tommy's Dad: What can I tell you? When it comes to adultry I'm a one woman man.

Don Kleinman: Ok, we have a hand up. You think you're prejudice.
Tommy Gavin: Yup.
Don Kleinman: Against who?
Tommy Gavin: Well let's see, uh, Chevy Neons that cost 12 Grand to buy but have $8,000 paint jobs and 9 spics inside them smokin' weed, that's one thing.
Don Kleinman: Ok, now listen, the term "spic"...
Franco Rivera: It's Ok, I'm a spic.
Tommy Gavin: Crazy chink broads who don't know how to drive in the first place and now they have cell phones stuck to their ears while they're doing 65 MPH down 6th avenue, huh? Right? And the crazy chinks on bikes with 10 pounds of chinese food strapped to the handlebars...
Don Kleinman: Ok, see, now the word "chink" is what I like to call a problem word.
Sean Garrity: ...raises his hand... Yeah, uh, if I were a chink I'd rather be called a chink then a gook.
Don Kleinman: Ok, now hold on. Listen to me please. Chinese people would not like to be called gook or chink or pan face or zipper-head or...
Franco Rivera: See? That's another thing-Puerto Ricans, we even get shafted when it comes to racism. Chinks get like what, 4 ethnic slurs? We get one-spic, that's it. The Irish, they got: Mick, Paddy, Donkey. The Italians, they got: Guinea, WOP, Deigo...
Sean Garrity: ...raises his hand... Yeah, uh, Sphagetti Bender...
Franco Rivera: Ehhh, Sphagetti Bender went out of style during Sinatra's first marriage.
Mike Silletti: ...raises his hand... Greaseball?
Franco Rivera: Yeah, greaseball. There ya have it. That's four.
Tommy Gavin: That's right, you know, same thing with the Jews, right? Heeb, Kike, Jew-Boy, Benny...
Franco Rivera: Shiloch
Tommy Gavin: That's five.
Franco Rivera: Yeah, black people, forget about it. Spear-Chucker, Jungle Bunny, Raisin Head, Porch Monkey, Spook
Tommy Gavin: Shyne
Sean Garrity: Tar-Baby
Franco Rivera: It's endless, totally unfair.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah
Don Kleinman: ...all turn and look to the front at Don who is looking in complete disbelief...
Franco Rivera: What?

"Rescue Me: Discovery (#3.2)" (2006)
Sheila: Look! It's a travel mug so you can drink your coffee on your way to work. It's nice right?
Tommy Gavin: Oh yeah, it's gorgeous! You know, they should put a little screen on the side so you can watch gay porn in between sips.
Sheila: It's nice!
Tommy Gavin: It's gay.
Sheila: It's got a no-spill feature. A lot of these mugs, they say they have it and it's total bullshit because THIS has an absolute no-spill feature. I read about it in GQ.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah? Who wrote the article? Brian Boitano?

Sheila Keefe: [singing] Happy Birth...
Tommy's Dad: [interrupting] Shut your hole! I swear you start that happy birthday bullshit, I'll drop my pants right here and piss on this cake and walk right out of here.
Tommy Gavin: OK everybody, on 3.

Sheila Keefe: [singing] Happy Birt...
Tommy's Dad: Shut you hole! I swear if any of you start with that happy birthday bullshit, I'm standing up and taking a piss on this cake and walking the hell out of here.
Tommy Gavin: OK everybody on three.

"Rescue Me: Brains (#2.10)" (2005)
Johnny Gavin: You give that guy a bad nose job, a ranch with some rides on it and Liz Taylor's home number, you're looking at Michael Jackson my friend.
Tommy Gavin: Ok, first of all he's our half brother, OK? So if he's Michael Jackson, you know who that makes us? That makes me Tito and that makes you Jermaine.
Johnny Gavin: Why do I gotta be Jermaine?
Tommy Gavin: Cause I'm Tito.

Johnny Gavin: You give that guy a bad nose job, a ranch with some rides on it and Liz Taylor's home number, you're looking at Michael Jackson my friend.
Tommy Gavin: Ok, first of all he's our half brother, OK? So if he's Michael Jackson, you know who that makes us? That makes me Tito and that makes you Jermaine
Johnny Gavin: Why do I gotta be Jermaine?
Tommy Gavin: Cause I'm Tito.

Tommy Gavin: [after Shelia's girlfriend hit her, she calls Tommy] So why're you callin' me? Call the g**damn cops. When she sets you on fire, then you can call me.

"Rescue Me: Chlamydia (#3.5)" (2006)
Kenny Lou: Some teacher raped three of her students.
Tommy Gavin: Ah... they say anything about chlamydia?
Mike Silletti: You mean the band?
Sean Garrity: It's not a band you asshole, it's a country.
Kenny Lou: It's a venereal disease, monkeys.

Jimmy Keefe: It's ironic, ain't it?
Tommy Gavin: Ironic?
Jimmy Keefe: You know what I'm talking about. Admit it Tommy. You jump in the sack with my old lady and here you are, your own brother putting it to your wife. It's ironic, the definition of the word.
Tommy Gavin: I don't think so.
Jimmy Keefe: Oh, you don't think so. What is it then, smartass? Enlighten me.
Tommy Gavin: It's a little thing called karma.
Jimmy Keefe: [pause, considering] Actually, you know what? It is karma. I stand corrected.
Tommy Gavin: And the thing about karma is, it just keeps going around and around and around.
[Angela comes into view]
Jimmy Keefe: What? Is that... oh, c'mon, Johnny's ex? You sick little bastard! And I thought you couldn't go any lower. You're at the Earth's core with this, practically.
Tommy Gavin: Yep. Next stop, China.

"Rescue Me: Retards (#3.10)" (2006)
Tommy Gavin: This is way, way more bad boy than you'll ever be able to handle. So do yourself a favor. Go blow a drummer.

Tommy Gavin: What's your high-end Irish Whiskey?
Bartender: It's uh... Middletons... 5 bucks a shot.
Tommy Gavin: Alright, give me eight fingers of that.
Bartender: Eight... fingers?
Tommy Gavin: [Tommy indicates with his hands eight fingers in a glass]
Bartender: That's about a hundred bucks worth of whiskey there... Tom.
Tommy Gavin: Bring it on.
[Bartender pours him a tall glass]
Bartender: [Tommy takes the drink and starts to gulp it down quickly] For a glass that's going to cost about a C-note, you certainly drink it pretty fast there, pal.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah...
[looking at the almost empty glass in his hands]
Tommy Gavin: you would too if you only had about two dollars and seventy five cents in your pocket.

"Rescue Me: Twat (#2.4)" (2005)
Johnny Gavin: [on the phone] Oh, let me get this straight, you quit drinking but you're going around beatin' up cops? The city was safer when you were a drunk.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah. Blow me.

Tommy Gavin: You know how people, like religious people, are always saying stuff like, "have you found Jesus?"
Father Mickey Gavin: Yeah?
Tommy Gavin: Guess what. I found him.
Father Mickey Gavin: Oh, yeah. Where has he been for the last 2000 years?
Tommy Gavin: Apparently my new apartment.

"Rescue Me: DNA (#1.4)" (2004)
Father Mickey Gavin: Tom, I, uh, I don't know what you want me to say.
Tommy Gavin: Mick... I want you to say that it's all... it's bullshit. You know? There is no plan, there is no map. There's no golden ring at the end of the ride. It's just... bullshit. You know?
Tommy Gavin: I want you to take away the hope, man, that's the thing that's killing me. You know,it's just... it's like, uh... I'm just hanging here, man. Hope is making me think I can fix my marriage, you know? The day of Jimmy's funeral... you stood up on that altar and you said, "Sometimes we don't know why God does the things that he does." But I'm telling you... Mick... if he takes my little girl tonight... I'm going to want to know why.
Father Mickey Gavin: That's why you got to hold on to the hope, Tom. 'Cause in the end, that's all we got left.

Tommy Gavin: What are you doing spending all that money so fast? Didn't you ever see "Goodfellas"?
Damian Keefe: I heard it was very violent.

"Rescue Me: Balance (#4.6)" (2007)
Tommy Gavin: Probies are treated like probies for a reason! They're treated like shit so they have to earn our trust and respect, so we know we can trust them in the face of a goddamn fire!

Tommy Gavin: Can you believe this kid? Jesus Christ! All the seniority I have over him and he's talkin to me like that? I wish Jerry was here to see the kind of shit you guys are trying to pull off with this basketball crap. He'd shut the whole basketball thing down! Probies get treated like probies for a reason ok? They get treated like shit so they can earn our trust and respect! Right? Then we know we can trust them in a goddamn fire! Assholes! That's why he should be mopping the floor instead of you... shithead! Yeah! Kiss my boney, white, Irish ass!

"Rescue Me: Reunion (#2.6)" (2005)
Johnny Gavin: Tommy, when you're in jail in some hick town, and you're taking it up the ass from Otis the drunk, don't call me. You'll be on you're own bro.
Tommy Gavin: No I won't be, I'll have Otis.

Johnny Gavin: So, you're not in jail yet?
Tommy Gavin: No. Why would I be in jail? Except for maybe killing you, which I would right now, except it would interupt my smoke.

"Rescue Me: Rebirth (#2.9)" (2005)
Tommy Gavin: Hey, didn't you hear my prayer in the locker room? I said no fighting. No go sit on the bench for three shifts and ruminate about what you just did, okay?
Mungo: I would but I don't know what ruminate means.
Tommy Gavin: Well, ask one of the fellas on the bench.

"Rescue Me: Immortal (#1.10)" (2004)
Tommy Gavin: [Tommy is pulled over for speeding through a downtown intersection] Hey, how you doing. Hey, Collins man!
Collins: You better have a good excuse, Gavin
Tommy Gavin: Oh, you know what man, I got a phone call...
Collins: That was some dare-devil shit back there!
Tommy Gavin: know, I know. I got a phone call about twenty minutes ago. My mom had a heart attack and I got to get to a hospital.
Collins: Bullshit!
Tommy Gavin: No bro, I'm serious!
Collins: Give me your license and reg... All right, the honeymoon's over Gavin, all right? So tell all your friends and all that hero worship you got after 9/11 ain't getting paid any due anymore. We lost guys downtown too, but nobody even talks about us. 343 firemen. There was almost 100 cops!
Tommy Gavin: That's true. Nobody's forgetting about the cops.
Collins: Guess what? You so much as look at a cop the wrong way and you're paying the price. All right, asshole?
Tommy Gavin: You know this is going to come back to bite you in the ass. We got a big hockey game coming up again. A rematch - in what, like a week?
Collins: Yeah I'm real concerned about payback. Yeah, I hope your ma don't die while I'm writing you up, either. Have a nice day.
Tommy Gavin: [whispers] Shithead.

"Rescue Me: Pussified (#4.4)" (2007)
[during a discussion at the house after the crew learns of Jerry's suicide]
Tommy Gavin: He was a coward.
Kenny Lou: Watch it Tom, OK?
Tommy Gavin: He was afraid. Afraid of workin' behind that desk down at headquarters for the next five or...
Sean Garrity: Oh c'mon Tom, that's your excuse for the guy? That he was afraid of...
Tommy Gavin: Shut up asshole! What do you got, eight years on the job?
Sean Garrity: No I'm just saying that...
Tommy Gavin: Shut up! Christ almighty, know how much he hated being the chief? Huh? Watchin' us run into jobs while he stayed outside, but he did it, you know why? So he could teach assholes like you
[camera on Garrity]
Tommy Gavin: , and you
[camera on Franco]
Tommy Gavin: , what the job was really about. When he was workin' up in the Bronx, when the Bronx was burning, ever hear about those days? Huh? They'd get ten, twelve, fourteen jobs a night! Shithead. He ran into a job one time up at 200 79th Street, pulled three kids in wheelchairs out in something like, fifteen minutes. You know why? 'Cause the rest of his group was busy bringin' old people out. There was a Cold Storage Warehouse fire one time up there, and ah, the chief on the job that night shut the job down 'cause it was "too hot for humans." You know what Jerry did? He ran around the side of the building, went in a side door, pulled out two drunken assholes, ends up being the two same assholes who started the goddamn fire! And he was workin' then without a mask. Runnin' in and out of the building with a cigar danglin' out of his mouth. You wanna talk about being brave, and who's a coward, who's not a coward? Suck my cock.
Tommy Gavin: [in a much more solemn tone] Wanna talk about bein' brave? Workin' up in the Bronx used up all the goddamn brave he had.

"Rescue Me: Zombies (#3.6)" (2006)
Mike Silletti: Why'd you keep the pills if you don't take them anymore?
Tommy Gavin: Duh, I'm a junkie.

"Rescue Me: Justice (#2.13)" (2005)
Tommy's Dad: I'm an old man. So they put me in jail. That could be two weeks for all we know.
Uncle Teddy: That could be one week.
Tommy's Dad: Thanks, a**hole.
Uncle Teddy: Look, you're not doing this, if this goes down, I'm the shooter.
Tommy's Dad: I had first dibs.
Tommy Gavin: Did you just say dibs?

"Rescue Me: Inches (#1.8)" (2004)
Suit: We're friends of Roger's.
Tommy Gavin: What're you gonna do, audit me?

"Rescue Me: Sparks (#3.4)" (2006)
Tommy Gavin: [after Janet, Maggie, and Sheila all call him one after the other] Boy, it's crazy chick callin' day.
[while he's on the phone with Sheila, Mrs Turbody calls him]
Tommy Gavin: Boy, it really is crazy chick callin' day.

"Rescue Me: Hell (#3.12)" (2006)
Funeral Director: [while looking at caskets for Johnny funeral] This is why it considered the Mercedes Benz of the caskets.
Kenny Shea: How Much?
Funeral Director: Fifteen Thousand.
Kenny Shea: And the cemetery fees, the cost of the embalment, the wake?
Funeral Director: I have to sit down in front of the computer?
Kenny Shea: Ball Park.
Funeral Director: About forty thousand dollars.
Kenny Shea: Jesus it be cheaper to buy a used Mercedes and put him in the trunk and drive him off the bridge. Tom what do you think?
Tommy Gavin: [pointing to a cheaper wooden casket] How much is this one?
Kenny Shea: The Honda Civic?
Funeral Director: Three thousand.
Kenny Shea: I think were gonna go with that one.

"Rescue Me: Sanctuary (#1.13)" (2004)
Firefighter: You forgot you were playing those guys this week? Are you crazy?
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, crazy like a fox.

"Rescue Me: Twilight (#3.11)" (2006)
Tommy Gavin: Is she a Nun or not a Nun
Kenny Shea: She's a semi Nun
Tommy Gavin: What is she in the Nun National Guard? One week-end a month she become the bride of Christ?

"Rescue Me: Pieces (#3.9)" (2006)
Kenny Lou: I'd hit that.
Tommy Gavin: You would?
Kenny Lou: In a heartbeat. Wait, who are we talking about again?
Tommy Gavin: Heather Mills McCartney, ex-wife of former Beatle Paul.
Franco Rivera: I'd do her.
Tommy Gavin: Really?
Franco Rivera: Oh yeah man.
Tommy Gavin: Even though she's only got the one leg?
Franco Rivera: Tommy, it's a bonus man.
Tommy Gavin: How is it a bonus?
Franco Rivera: Well it gives you an extra sexual position to enjoy for one, that being her laying on her side, the side with the leg, you straddle said leg and do her sideways without having to worry about the extra pesky leg getting in the way.
Tommy Gavin: What about the stump?
Franco Rivera: I didn't think about that. Pass.

"Rescue Me: Beached (#3.13)" (2006)
Tommy Gavin: It's hard to believe it's been five years, man.
Franco Rivera: Yeah I saw a thing about this in the Times, the picture didn't do it justice.
Kenny Lou: You realize the only reason this is here, is because firefighters and regular people, wanted to honor the guys we lost. There were no politicians involved.
Tommy Gavin: No.
Tommy Gavin: The Chief of the Department, did I tell ya, when they did the unveiling... his speech, he said "all we got was Empty Promises from Empty Suits"
Kenny Lou: You know I feel for those families over there. Waiting for a memorial for their loved ones, we already got ours.
Tommy Gavin: You know, the guys from this house, they lost a lot of brothers that day... they wrote on the back of this thing, they put personal prayers, put personal notes, and remembrances, of all the brothers they lost that day... and then they sealed it up so that nobody will ever be able to read what they wrote."
Kenny Lou: That's the way it should be, it stays between brothers.
Franco Rivera: Each other is all we got, right.

"Rescue Me: Voicemail (#2.1)" (2005)
Tommy Gavin: [Lou catches Tommy sitting outside the house in his truck] I got this new girlfriend, and uh, she's really into antiques. Uh, and I remember that antiques shop up here and I went over to look at...
Kenny Lou: [interupting] Who the hell do you think you're talking to asshole? I've helped you concoct some of the most bullshit cover stories...
Tommy Gavin: [talking over Lou] This is not a concoction, okay?
Kenny Lou: ...Under the worst possible pressure situations okay?
Tommy Gavin: I have a new girlfriend, okay?
Kenny Lou: [mocking] Antiques, and my new girlfriend. Why don't you kiss my goddamn giant Irish pisshole? I've seen you out here in your truck 10, 20, times in the last three months. I figure you must to desperate to know what's going on so I figured I come out here and fill you in.