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Quotes for
Maurice (Character)
from Madagascar (2005)

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Madagascar (2005)
Mort the Mouse Lemur: King Julian! What are they?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: WHAT ARE THEY?
Julian: They are... aliens! Savage aliens! From the savage future!
Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [begins weeping]
Julian: Get up Mort! Do not be near the King's feet, okay!

Mort the Mouse Lemur: They are savages! Tonight we die.
Julian: The feet! I told you about - I told you to - I told you - didn't I tell him about the feet?
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] E-he.

Julian: They're just a bunch of pansies.
Maurice: I don't know. There's still something about that one with the crazy hairdo that I find suspicious.
Julian: Nonsense, Maurice. Come on, everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!

Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
Julian: Who wipes?
Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.
Julian: Oy vey!
Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
[Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]

Maurice: [flatly] Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julian the XIII, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, etc, etc, hooray, everybody.

Maurice: What if Mr. Alex is even worse then the Foosa? I'm tellin' you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies!
Julian: Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebiedibigibies? No? Good. So shut up.

Julian: [Mort grabs Julian's foot] What did I tell you about the feet! Maurice didn't I tell him about the feet!
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] He he!

Alex the Lion: Well, I say we just ask these bozos where the people are.
Julian: [from the ground underneath Alex] Excuse me. We bozos have the people of course!
Melman the Giraffe: Hey, the bozos have the people.
Alex the Lion: Oh, well, great. Good. Phew!
Julian: They're up there.
[points up at skeletons dangling from tree, wearing a parachute harness]
Julian: Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.
Alex the Lion: Oh... wow... so, do you have any *live* people?
Julian: Uhh... no, only dead ones.
Maurice: I mean, if we had a bunch of live people running around, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?

Julian: Wait! I have a plan.
Maurice: Really?
Julian: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.
[Julian kicks Mort out in the open]
Marty the Zebra: Hi there!
Alex the Lion: No, I will handle this. Alex handles it. Marty says nothing.
[approaches the frightened Mort]
Alex the Lion: Hi there!
[Mort starts to cry]
Alex the Lion: Oh, geez!
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, Alex. What did you do?
Alex the Lion: No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion.
[Mort cries louder]
Alex the Lion: Oh, jeez!

Maurice: Your friend here is what we call a deluxe model hunting-and-eating machine. And he eats steak... which is you.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: All King, No Kingdom/Untouchable (#1.24)" (2009)
Mort: Whee! I'm jumpy! Maurice, come be jumpy!
Maurice: Mort, I'd love to, but I have a bazillion royal duties to attend to.
Mort: Hee-hee! You said doodies!
Maurice: No, things I have to do for the king. Du-ties.
Mort: It's still funny!

King Julien: Excuse me, little froggy. I believe you are a little confussed. I am the one who is telling the other animals what to do.
Barry: Oh?
King Julien: Yes. That is because I am king. However, you can apply for an internship.
Maurice: We are currently accepting applications for the spring semester.
[Hands Barry a form]
King Julien: But until you are properly internalized, you must cease the bossing around.
Barry: Oh, really? Cease this!

Private: How can we touch someone who's untouchable?
King Julien: It is a riddle, like which do you eat first, the chicken or the egg? I say the eggs, because they are breakfast foods.
Maurice: That's not the way it goes.
King Julien: So you're saying the chicken first? It does make a nice base for the eggs.

King Julien: This half of the kingdom is for me and my king things, and that half is for you two.
Maurice: This is much less than half!
Mort: I like it.
King Julien: Of course it's smaller. There is only one of me and two of you.
Maurice: That means we should have more and you should have less.
King Julien: The king never has less. That's the law.

Maurice: [after breaking the throne] I'll get the glue.
Mort: To eat?
Maurice: No!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: The Hidden/Kingdom Come (#1.10)" (2009)
Skipper: Maurice, fill me in, three words or less.
Maurice: Well, well I...
Skipper: No capisce. Try four words.
Maurice: I don't think you...
Skipper: Make it five words.
Maurice: If you would just listen...
Skipper: All right, I'll give you six words, but we're wasting valuable time here.

Skipper: Quick, Marlene, describe the enemy terrain.
Marlene: It's kinda jungly. So that could be, let me think, what, South America? Africa? Asia? Maybe Australia?
Skipper: You gotta focus, Marlene! You just mentioned four of the eight continents.
Maurice: Uh, there are only seven continents.
Skipper: I count Atlantis. Trust me, lemur, if you had my security clearance, you would too.

Skipper: What's your sick and twisted game, Maurice?
Maurice: That's King Maurice, ruler of all I survey! Surrender to my supreme and mighty power!
Skipper: Well, that's going to be a bit of a problem. You see, I don't know the meaning of the word surrender.
Kowalski: Surrender is a verb, Skipper. It means to give up or yield... Oh, I see. Here' I'll do it myself.
[Slaps himself]

King Julien: I would love to join you in the meeting of the neighbors, but I am far too busy with... Maurice, what am I far too busy with?
Maurice: Posing for your royal portrait.
Mort: I'm an easel.
King Julien: Mort.
Mort: Yes?
King Julien: Shut up a little, okay?
Mort: Okay.

Maurice: But there has to be somebody for me to advise. There has to be a king!
Skipper: [Puts Julien's crown on Maurice's head] Ring-a-ding-ding, you're a king.
Maurice: What? I can't be the king! I'm just the king's right hand man. And when the right hand man becomes the man, then the king is left with no right...
Skipper: Listen up, lemur. Until Julien comes back, someone has to step up and take charge.
Maurice: But I...
Skipper: It's either you or Sad-eyes.
[Points at Mort, who is crying and swaying until he falls over]
Maurice: All right. But Julien will always be our one and only king.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Misfortune Cookie/Lemur See, Lemur Do (#1.16)" (2009)
King Julien: Maurice! Mort!
Maurice: Is there something wrong, your majesty?
King Julien: Yes! Why didn't you tell me it was my birthday?
Maurice: Yeah, it's not your birthday.
King Julien: Of course it is. Otherwise why would you get me this ginormous present?
Maurice: We didn't give you a present.
Mort: I did.
Maurice: No, you didn't!
Mort: No, I did!... I didn't.

Maurice: Your majesty, this isn't healthy. You need to shake this off.
King Julien: What's the use? I shall never be shaking this or even my booty ever again.
Mort: Foot hugging time! Yay!
[Hugs Julien's feet]
Maurice: Look at Mort hugging your feet! Doesn't that make you crazy? Doesn't that make you want to do something? Anything?
King Julien: It's not the same without my Lemmy.

King Julien: How dare you accusing me of such outrageousness, like a snake!
Maurice: Yo, we got a snake to bit Rico! This'll convince those pen...
[Sees Skipper]
Maurice: Oh, well, forget it.

King Julien: Maurice, I worry about those penguins. What could make them believe in curses?
Maurice: Short of that penguin meeting a foul end, nothing.
King Julien: Aha, but what if we made Freako...
Maurice: Rico.
King Julien: ...Rico meet a foul end? That would make them believe.
Maurice: Probably, but it wouldn't be a curse.
King Julien: Wouldn't it, Maurice? Are you sure?
Maurice: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
King Julien: And I'm pretty not. No, no, wait! I'm pretty. Very, very pretty. So pretty! Mort, tell me I am pretty.
Mort: You are pretty.
King Julien: Thank you. See, Maurice? Mort agrees with me. Case closed.
Maurice: All right. What did you have in mind?

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Mr. Tux/Concrete Jungle Survival (#2.6)" (2010)
Private: You mean you're not coming with me?
Skipper: This is your test, Private. No weapons, no help, you don't even get to know where you are.
Mort: I know where we are! I found a map on the way.
Maurice: You did not! That's a kiddie menu you found in the gutter.
Mort: I live in the hamburger.

Private: Instant telescope.
King Julien: [Takes telescope] Thank you, dumpy penguin. You see, in camping, you can make a fire with just a... piraty looky tube.
Maurice: Don't you need sunlight for that?
King Julien: Why would I need sunlight to do this?
[hits kindling with telescope]
King Julien: Make fire, you looky tube!
[Hands the destroyed telescope back to Private]
King Julien: This one's defective.

Amarillo Kid: You better be on your game, Mr. Tux, or this here animal farm won't be worth a toothless sidewinder on Easter Sunday.
King Julien: And the trash talk is inscrutable.
Maurice: He's gonna blow up the zoo?
Mort: Ooh! High stakes!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Driven to the Brink/Friend-in-a-Box (#2.14)" (2010)
Maurice: Mort sure likes that game.
King Julien: Yes. It keeps Mort from annoying me by touching the royal feet, so I like it too.
King Julien: I don't like it!
Maurice: But I thought you didn't like Mort touching your feet.
King Julien: Yes, but I love rejecting Mort. It makes me feel all kingly. But how am I to feel kingly now?
Maurice: Uh, the crown? The throne? The big fits of the crazies?
King Julien: Yes, those help, but the rejecting Mort... ah, that's the sweet stuff, man.

King Julien: Maurice, my yoyoyo is defective!
Maurice: Yo-yo. Two yos.
King Julien: Well mine has three yos, maybe more, but it is not working, so no-yos.
Maurice: [Takes yo-yo and does tricks with it] Seems fine to me. You just need practice.
King Julien: Practice is for those who are not perfect.

King Julien: Maurice, who is disturbing the royal sleep? Who? Who?
Mort: Is it the penguin in the car? Because I think it's the penguin in the car.
King Julien: Whoever it is, I want it stopped. Maurice, do something.
Maurice: What am I supposed to do?
[Rico smashes the car]
Maurice: Other than that, which I totally did.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Gone in a Flash (#1.0)" (2008)
Maurice: You penguins are psychotic!

[Maurice and the penguins are in a subway railroad]
Maurice: Gotta... rest.
The Skipper: No dice. We need to be back at the zoo by 0900.
Kowalski: Which doesn't give us much time.
Private: We should go faster.
Maurice: There is no way I can go any faster.
The Skipper: Oh, I'll bet the old D-train will change your tune.
[the penguins slide along the rails]
Maurice: The what?
[a subway train approaches; Maurice runs faster to avoid it]

King Julien: [Eats Maurice's banana] Nicely done, Maurice. Now peel me a grape.
Maurice: But that was...
King Julien: Grape, Maurice, grape. Not lip.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Mort Unbound/Roomies (#1.15)" (2009)
King Julien: ...And that is when I decided to dedicate my life to the most importantest thing in all of the life, me. Are you getting all this?
Maurice: [drawing a picture of Julien with steam coming out of his ears] Huh? Oh, yeah. I got it. I got it all.
King Julien: Okay. Chapter two...

Mort: I'm normal me again... And I like me!
King Julien: Yes, and I hope you learned a lesson of value. Being a bully is no good.
Maurice: Wait a minute! You used Mort to bully everyone else!
King Julien: Maurice, we don't play the blame game here.
Private: Ahem!
[King Julien looks up and notices the giant Private glaring at him]
King Julien: All of the blame is mine! Just don't sit upon me!

Mort: Gimme banana!
King Julien: Maurice, do something!
Maurice: Like give him a banana?
King Julien: Don't be ridiculous, Maurice.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Assault and Batteries (#1.5)" (2009)
Maurice: Oh, my feet are killing me.
King Julien: Not as much as I will if you stop dancing.
Maurice: But your majesty, we just can't boogie-oogie-oogie like you.
Mort: I wanna go to bed!
King Julien: No! Last week the baboons shook their shiny red buttocks eighteen hours straight. I will not be outpartied.

Maurice: Mort, what are you doing?
Mort: I'm dancing!
Maurice: Give it a rest! Julien has no way of knowing if we're dancing or not.
Mort: Oh, you're right.
[the batteries Julien tossed fall on them; they start dancing again]
Maurice: He knows! He knows!
Mort: I like dancing to exhaustion!

King Julien: You must take the music inside of you, swish it around and spit it out through your tail. Just do as I do. Take in the music...
[Music stops]
King Julien: Hey, not all the music, you greedies!
Maurice: It wasn't us.
King Julien: Then what else could make our boomy box stop booming?

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Tagged (#1.20)" (2009)
King Julien: Maurice, fetch me the royal thermometer.
Maurice: [Holds up a frozen Mort] Thermometer says...
Mort: C-c-cold!
King Julien: We must ask the sky spirits to turn this freezy wind toasty. Oh, great sky spirits...
[the wind freezes Julien]
Maurice: Maybe you should say pretty please?
Mort: The royal feet are frostbited!
[Hops toward Julien's feet]

King Julien: We must thank the sky spirits for providing to us this warm coziness we are now enjoying. If there's ever anything I can do, any...
[Walkie-talkie hits Julien]
Skipper: [Through walkie-talkie] There is something we need you to do.
Maurice: You offered.
King Julien: Uh, Hi, howdy,sky spirits? I never thought you would sound like a testy penguin.
Skipper: Clam up and listen to me?
King Julien: A lot like a testy penguin, actually.
Skipper: Your kingdom is about to blow up in one hour and 47 minutes.
King Julien: Ooh, a vengeful sky spirit!
Skipper: It's me, Skipper, you idi... Will you just listen to me?

Maurice: Okay, the cooling device is installed. Now what?
Kowalski: If you open the front panel, you will see seven different colored knobs.
[They open the panel; all the knobs look the same shade of red]
Kowalski: Red, crimson, scarlet, brick, salmon, ruby and rose. It is of utmost importance that you only turn the scarlet knob.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Out of the Groove/Jungle Law (#1.22)" (2009)
Mort: [Pops out of briefcase] Case open! REPLACE WITH:
King Julien: Without the electrically power, the zoo has now become... a jungle! And who is the king of the jungle?
King Julien: Okay, I'll give you a hint. He is also the king of the zoo and the outlying mid-town area. And it is me. Okay, no more hints.
Skipper: Negative! There is no such thing as jungle law.
King Julien: Oh, really? Perhaps everyone here might want to hear the opinionings of a certified jungle lawyer.
Maurice: [Wearing a tie and seating next to a briefcase, reading some papers] Ahem. All hail King Julien! Case closed.
Mort: [Pops out of briefcase] Case open!

King Julien: I demand to talk to my jungle lawyer!
Maurice: Dude with a briefcase?
[Kicks briefcase aside]
Maurice: Haven't seen him.

Burt: [attacking King Julien] Peanut head! Peanut head!
Kowalski: We're only here to talk, friend. Straight turkey, no judgements.
Maurice: Are you crazy? The dude's head doesn't even look like a peanut!
King Julien: What? How dare you insult my gloriously peanut-shaped head!
[Burt sticks his trunk over Julien's head]
Kowalski: Oh, golly!
Maurice: That ain't right.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: All Choked Up/Little Zoo Coupe (#1.11)" (2009)
Maurice: [as they put Mort inside Rico to defuse the bomb] The birds have gone carnivore!
King Julien: Quick, we must flee! Maurice, distract them by being eaten!

King Julien: Winner gets the loser's car.
Private: Why would you want two cars?
King Julien: One for commuting, one for weekend errands around town.
Skipper: Better stock up on subway tokens. We race tonight at 12 o'clock!
King Julien: Make it... midnight! Wait, wait. When's my pedicure?
Maurice: Midnight.
King Julien: Can we make it 12:15? Does 12:15 work for you?
[Kowalski looks at his board and nods to Skipper]
Skipper: Fine. 12:15.

King Julien: So, did that sticky them up? Tell me yes.
Maurice: Um, okay. Yes.
King Julien: Yes! Wait. Maurice, are you just telling me what I want to hear?
Maurice: Yes.
King Julien: Yes! Wait... no!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Can't Touch This/Hard Boiled Eggy (#2.3)" (2010)
Kowalski: Well, I call that mission accomplished. So, what do we do with the rest of our day?
Private: Oh! We could get temporary tattoos, and, um, motocycle club nicknames.
Rico: Vroom! Vroo-vroo-vroom, vroom!
Kowalski: I'll be Bobby Thunderskull!
Skipper: All in favor of Private's tattoos and nicknames plan say...
Maurice: [offscreen] Waaugh!
Kowalski: Waaugh! Um... we should probably do something.

Skipper: Fallen lemur, what happened?
Maurice: I don't know. Something came flying out of nowhere and wham, I'm flat on my butt.
King Julien: And I am left to apply my own eye vegetables, which is the real tragedy. Mort, weep for me. My eyes are exhausted from all the cucumbering.
Mort: [Tries to cry, but when he can't puts onions on his eyes] My eye vegetables are burny!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: The Falcon and the Snow Job/The Penguin Stays in the Picture (#1.29)" (2010)
King Julien: A predator! Quick, Maurice! Activate the falcon shield!
Maurice: Right away, your highness.
[Maurice puts Mort tied to a stick in front of Kitka]
Skipper: What's with Sad-eyes?
Maurice: [Smears sauce on Mort] Barbecue sauce?
Mort: I'm yummy with cornbread.
King Julien: If you still have room for dessert, you can eat the dumpy one too. He will not mind.
Maurice: [Stammering] Say what?

Kowalski: As I was saying, the culprit is...
King Julien: Me! I confess! I did it! Mort was camera-hogging all the glory, so I got rid of him! Who knew the depths of my depravity?
Maurice: No, you didn't! I was with you the whole time.
King Julien: Oh. Well in that case, disregard my previous apology.
Mort: Even though I am a ghost, I still have your feet. Yay!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Happy King Julien Day! (#1.3)" (2009)
King Julien: Up next, the King Julien Day traditional tossing of the fruit.
Private: Tossing of the fruit?
Marlene: Tossing it where, exactly?
[Marlene gets a melon to the face]
Maurice: At you, exactly.

Maurice: Look, you don't understand how important this is. You want King Julien to be happy on his day. One time everyone forgot about King Julien Day, and let me tell you...
King Julien: [Flashback] Which forgetter is next for the whooping? Come on, I want you to hurt like I do! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Maurice: Oh, I couldn't sit right for a week. Trust me, you do not want him to freak on you!

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012)
King Julien XIII: [in a train] Hey, this is not first class!
Maurice: Oh! Definitely coach.

King Julien XIII: [Waiting for the signal to turn off the casino master switch] Now?
Maurice: Not yet.
King Julien XIII: Okay?
Maurice: No!
Maurice: Now!
King Julien XIII: [Sticking pencils in his nose, ears and mouth] Uh, I'm a little busy right now.
Maurice: Just pull the switch!
King Julien XIII: Okay, fine.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Over Phil/Miss Understanding (#1.25)" (2009)
King Julien: All right, this is no good. It's time for Plan H.
Maurice: Don't you mean Plan B?
King Julien: No, no. Plans B through G are far too ridiculously dangerous. Plan H is for Mort to go down to the under the ground electrically power cables and not come out until the smoothie machine is working again.
Mort: I like Plan H. Whee!
[Jumps into grate]
King Julien: Good, Mort. Now start pulling things off other things and putting them into new things. I'm sure it will work itself out eventually.

Skipper: Friends, in peril. Danger, growing. Commander mojo, returning.
Maurice: My butt, frying!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Penguiner Takes All (#1.6)" (2009)
Kowalski: If by some statistically remote chance you do win, the rewards will be glory and respect.
Private: And a little swagger in your step.
King Julien: These prizes sound cheap. As your king, I already own glory and respect. Don't I?
Maurice: Glorify!
Mort: Respectify!
King Julien: See? But not a TV. Yes! Long have I wanted a box with tiny shouting people inside.

Skipper: Lemur! One last game. All or nothing.
King Julien: But I have the all and you have the nothing. So, how does that work?
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: Sorry, Skipper. We lost my options clipboard two nights ago.
King Julien: Righty-o. Maurice, options.
Maurice: They could swear their undying loyalty to you.
King Julien: Groveling, obeying, and combing the knots out of my tail?
Maurice: That'd be the idea.
King Julien: Ooh, I likey!
Skipper: We accept those terms.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Launchtime/Haunted Habitat (#1.1)" (2009)
King Julien: [singing] Oh, spirit of the night / Who may or may not bite / You bring the otter fright / You bring the otter fright, though you are out of sight / Go away, go away!
Maurice: Go way away!
King Julien: I say don't stay!
Maurice: I say don't stay!
King Julien: Go away, go away!
Maurice: Go way away!
King Julien: I say don't stay!
Maurice: I say don't stay!
The Skipper: Come on, men. Let's leave this to the tiny dancer, and get us some shut-eye.
King Julien: My ghost mojo is working! Can you feel it.

King Julien: Hello? Neighbors? I wish to borrow your toothbrushes to scratch my hard to reach regions. If you agree, say nothing at all.
Maurice: I guess they agree.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Cat's Cradle/Monkey Love (#1.19)" (2009)
King Julien: To impress this girly monkey, you must sweep her off her feet. That is how I got my many girlfriends.
Maurice: What girlfriends?
King Julien: You don't know them, they're all in Canada, but trust me when I tell you that they are made up... I mean with lipstick and powders and such, but you know, tastefully. The secret is the two words I am about to tell you now. Get ready. Wait! Those weren't the two words. And those weren't either. Or those...
Mason: Just tell us the two words!
King Julien: Okay... Roller disco!

King Julien: Now release the dogs!
[Sound of dogs barking]
Lulu: Get them off me!
Maurice: Don't you mean doves?
King Julien: Oh, that would have been better. Good to know.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Two Feet High and Rising (#1.7)" (2009)
King Julien: Wait! This is a very serious proclamation that I am proclaming! See, it's posted right here, on the plastic volcano. And anyone who is daring to be touching my beautiful feets shall be banished from my kingdom forever!
Maurice: Ever... ever... ever!
King Julien: What are you doing?
Maurice: Echoing you for dramatic effect.
King Julien: Oh, nice. I like it.

Maurice: Wait. You mean Mort is exiled? For eternity?
King Julien: Forever or for eternity, I'm flexible. But the no-feet-touching law must be of zero tolerance.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Roger Dodger/Skorca! (#1.17)" (2009)
Private: No, you don't understand! This orca was gigantic, and it came from the sky!
Maurice: A sky orca?
King Julien: A skorca! That is what the cool people will call it now, because we take two words and make them one, because it's so hip, you know. Skorca! Aaah! Who can be safe from the terror that swims the skies? No one! All who agree, vote by getting panicky... now.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Paternal Egg-Stinct (#1.4)" (2009)
Maurice: You should just let it go. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure whatever is in that egg, it ain't one of us.
King Julien: Oh, really, Mister Smarty-booty? And where else would J.J. come from but an egg?
Maurice: Well, mammals usually come from...
[Whispers in Julien's ear]
King Julien: [Spit take] Do not gross me out with nonsense, Maurice!

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
Julien: Whatever happened to the separation of the classes?
Maurice: I'm sure this whole democracy thing is just a fad.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Tangled in the Web (#1.8)" (2009)
Marlene: A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work, mainly by watching silly little videos.
Maurice: You're saying those cameras are there so the whole world can watch us?
Skipper: Like hawks!
Kowalski: Except for the swooping down and devouring us part.
Private: Hopefully.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Go Fish/Miracle on Ice (#1.13)" (2009)
Maurice, Mort: Every time the penguins score, it's King Julien we adore!
King Julien: Bring me on!
Skipper: You're not supposed to cheer for yourself.
King Julien: Oh, I'm not. They are.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Popcorn Panic (#1.12)" (2009)
King Julien: Something smells fishy.
Maurice: Yeah, I don't know about these guys.
King Julien: No, I mean they stink of actual fish, Maurice. Open a window!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Kaboom and Kabust/The Helmet (#2.9)" (2010)
King Julien: [Doing stand-up] But seriously, don't get me started on his cooking. Maurice's cooking is so bad...
Maurice: [Resigned] How bad is it?
King Julien: It's so bad that I wouldn't eat it!
Mort: [laughing] It's funny because it's you!
Maurice: Oh, this ain't worth a two-mango minimum.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Wishful Thinking/April Fools (#2.11)" (2010)
Maurice: You've never heard of April Fools, have you?
King Julien: Yeah? Well, you've never heard of... January Jerks, have you? No, you have not!
Maurice: That's because you just made it up.
King Julien: Yeah, well... Okay, you got me there. I did make it up. But Christmas Steve, he's real.
Mort: Steve knows if you've been bad or good... and that's creepy.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Hello, Dollface/Fit to Print (#2.12)" (2010)
Maurice: What's going on there?
King Julien: It looks like someone is sacrificing the penguins to the volcano. Eh, these things happen.

Merry Madagascar (2009) (TV)
Maurice: Thank you. On behalf of His Majesty, a Merry Julianuary.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Dr. Blowhole's Revenge (#1.30)" (2010)
Mort: The king's feet! The king's feet must be saved!
Maurice: Calm down, Mort. The penguins are on the case.
Mort: Bah! The king's feet need *me*!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: An Elephant Never Forgets/Otter Things Have Happened (#1.26)" (2009)
King Julien: Maurice, those penguins are going to meet Marlene's new boyfriend.
Maurice: Huh. Good for her.
King Julien: No, not good for her. She already has a boyfriend.
Maurice: She does?
King Julien: Yes, silly. It's me!
Maurice: You? Let me guess. Marlene doesn't know you're her boyfriend, does she?
King Julien: Well, I have been meaning to mention it to her. But it is clear to me now that I must step up my wooing.
Maurice: All right. We'll need flowers, some candy...
King Julien: No, Maurice! The only way to win this competition is to eliminate the other competition.
Maurice: All right. Well need a sack, a club, some rope...
King Julien: Yes, Maurice! Now you are thinking romantically.