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: Will you marry me tonight? Ethel
: Well, of course. Jerry Jones
: Wonderful. Congratulations, darling, you're a war bride. I've just been drafted.
Maj. John B. Davidson
: That was the war to end all wars. And now we got a new one. Well, what are we waiting for? A new war? Or a new show! Sgt. McGee
: I knew it! Sir. Maj. John B. Davidson
: Well, Jerry, what do you say? Will you help? Jerry Jones
: Sure, I'll help. It will be something fine for the boys to remember; because, I'm afraid there will be a lot of it they'll want to forget. Incidentally, Colonel, it just reminded me. I've got a son right here at the camp. He's got a little talent. Maybe we can use him?
: What'll we call the show? Maxie Twardofsky
: Yip! Yip! Yaphank! the second. Jerry Jones
: No, no, Max. That's no good. It's a new war, a new show. We've got to have a new name! Maj. John B. Davidson
: Well, why not state the simple fact, This is the Army. Jerry Jones
: What do you think fellas? That's it, This is the Army!
: I'll guarantee you everything'll be ready on schedule. Now, take it easy Dad. You're trying to take care of every little detail in the whole show. That's too much for one man to do alone. Jerry Jones
: That's right. I guess I have been getting in everyone's hair around here. Johnny Jones
: Oh, that's not true, you've been swell!
: [after the cross-dressing blackface number
] Great! Wonderful! And you kids were worried a minstrel number being too old fashioned! Why, it went just as well tonight as it did in the old show! Sgt. McGee
: Grown-up guys in dames clothes! If that ain't a sad sack of bananas! Jerry Jones
: Oh, McGee!
: Dames clothes! What must their mothers think? Jerry Jones
: Now, listen McGee, opening night is trouble enough without having you around -
[stops, looks at McGee, winks at Johnny
] Johnny Jones
: Sgt. McGee, as stage manager of this troupe, I order you to report to wardrobe, for assignment to "Ladies of the Chorus". Sgt. McGee
: What! Over my dead body!
[Starts to storm off
] Johnny Jones
: Corporal of the Guard!
[MPs escort Sgt. McGee to wardrobe
: Hello, Joe. Nervous? Joe Louis
: Mr. Jones, I quit worrying the day I got into uniform. All I know is I'm in Uncle Sam's Army and we on God's side. Jerry Jones
: [while a soldier performer in blackface looks on
] Well, that's a fine way to feel and I don't know anyone that could say it better than you, Sergeant.