Blackbeard
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Quotes for
Blackbeard (Character)
from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Blackbeard: [to Jack] If I do not make it to the fountain in time, neither will you.

Blackbeard: If I don't kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am.

Blackbeard: Bring the mermaid!
Philip: You're killing her.
Blackbeard: I'm a bad man.

Blackbeard: [points the gun at Jack's head] I need those chalices.
Jack Sparrow: Shoot. Save me the bother of the fall.
Blackbeard: You will go. You will return. Or I will kill her.
[points the gun at Angelica]
Jack Sparrow: [surprised] You won't kill your own daughter!
Blackbeard: [hands the gun to the zombie quartermaster] Quartermaster, get me six more pistols, remove the shot from all but two, but do not tell me which two.
[walks to where the six pistols are at]
Blackbeard: You get to choose, Mr.Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: [after the mutiny is victorious] The ship is ours!
Blackbeard: [comes out of his quarters and glares at Sparrow] Gentlemen. I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were, resting. And upon a sudden, I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandoning their posts, without orders, without leave. Men before the mast, taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?
Angelica: Mutiny, Captain.
Blackbeard: [holding his hand to his ear] Again?
Angelica: Mutiny!
Blackbeard: Aye, mutiny. And what fate befall mutineers? Now, we know the answer to that, do we not? Mutineers... HANG!
[raises his enchanted sword, making the sails drop, and the rigging ensnare all the mutineers]
Jack Sparrow: [hangs upside down in front of Blackbeard] Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
Blackbeard: Perfect.

Philip: I was wrong. Not every soul can be saved.
Blackbeard: Behold, gentlemen! A man formerly of faith.

Blackbeard: Aha. Dead end. Dead. End. Dead end!
Angelica: Jack, I'm starting to think you don't know where you're going.
Jack Sparrow: It's not the destination so much as the journey, they say.

Blackbeard: In faith, there is light enough to see, but darkness enough to blind.

[last lines]
Blackbeard: Trickster... devil.


Pan (2015)
Blackbeard: Well, well, well. The princess, I presume.
Hook: Oh, well, actually I'm just a miner. But I appreciate the compliment.

[from trailer]
Blackbeard: Welcome to NEVERLAND!

[from trailer]
Blackbeard: Have you come to kill me, Peter?
Peter Pan: I don't believe in bedtime stories.

Blackbeard: We have an ancient prophecy that tell of a boy, a boy who would be disappeared from his world until he was old enough to return and lead an uprising against me. A boy who could fly...

[from trailer]
Blackbeard: Be brave, Peter.
Peter Pan: I tried to be.

[from trailer]
Blackbeard: Now kneel!
Peter Pan: I will never bow to you!

Blackbeard: We have an ancient prophecy from the fairy kingdoms who lived on this island. The prophecy tells of a boy, born of the love between a fairy prince and a human girl. The boy would be disappeared from this world, until he was old enough to return and lead an uprising against me. The boy, so says the prophecy, who could fly.

Blackbeard: Rule number one, "Those who work with bright, honest vigor will be rewarded with prizes and trophies and confectionery!" Rule number two, "Those who fail to work hard, those who skive or malinger, will hereby know the brooding majesty of my disapproval." Mark me well. I know no pity. No second chances. I don't do mercy. But remember, don't forget to help yourselves to lots and lots of jolly old fun! Hey kiddiewinks, welcome to Neverland!


Blackbeard's Ghost (1968)
Steve Walker: You took that money.
Blackbeard: Money? Money... OH, the odd flimsy I removed from the pocketbook of your book-ish wench.

Blackbeard: Beware all wenches.

Captain Blackbeard: What manner of craft be this we're cruisin' in?
Steve Walker: It's an automobile.
Captain Blackbeard: Eh?
Steve Walker: An automobile!
Captain Blackbeard: Oh, is it? Yes. An "automotonus". Yes, "auto-some-o-nee-mones!"

Blackbeard: [Steve has just punched Seymour] Oh quite nice lad, yes!

Blackbeard: By thunder! This raises my blood! There be a time for action! Hang on old ladies, Blackbeard's coming! Up the Jolly Roger!

Blackbeard: I did have a treasure. I had a big treasure. Lovely, I did. But I spent it all in one week. Among the flesh pots and gambling hells of Port Royal oh what a glorious week!
Steve Walker: Oh you know what you are? You are a total loss you're not even a respectable ghost! You're a phoney! A phoney!

Blackbeard: Impersonating Gudger: ''Come on coach will you we've come in last in two events already''. Ew another beanrake. All right play it whatever way ya like ya puppy. You'll get no help from me. You'll come crawling back you will! I'll bring my boot to ya and I'll grind ya mealy mouth jibb into the dirt! I will.


Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (2013) (VG)
Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch: Are you not loved at home? Are you not wanted by your wives and families and countrymen? How else to explain your government's complete disinterest in your well-being? Hostages for medicines, these were my only terms! And yet, six days of pure fucking silence! So I must conclude that you men are the pariahs of Charles-Towne, and I would profit better by using your organs for chum and your bones for char!

Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch: In a world without gold, we might have been heroes!

Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch: Caution's nothing without charisma! For if a man plays the fool, then it's only fools he'll persuade. But appear to be the devil, and all men will submit.

Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch: It's all a big show. Give your quarry something to fear, some hellish thing from a fever dream, and men will drop to their knees pleading for their Lord before all else!

Benjamin Hornigold: When I look on the fruits of our years of labor, all I see is sickness, idleness, and idiocy.
Edward 'Blackbeard' Thatch: Not a sunbeam of difference between here and London, then.


Blackbeard, the Pirate (1952)
Blackbeard: Ben, I believe I'm going to catch me a rat!
Ben Worley: Why, you hungry?
[motions to the rope Blackbeard is holding, which goes over the side of the ship]
Ben Worley: . Oh, you're goin' fishing for him, aye?
Blackbeard: NO, I ain't goin' fishin' for him, aye!

Blackbeard: Gilly, Gilly, give him just a tickle with the point of your blade, at about his liver.

[blasting Henry Morgan's ship with cannon fire]
Blackbeard: Arrr, he's like a duck without wings! We'll close for the kill and then board her. And I'll dangle Uncle Harry from the fore yard!! Heh, he he he!

Blackbeard: [gesturing with his cutlass at Edwina's neck] Morgan! You take this ship, and you take her head with it!
Sir Henry Morgan: Call off your men, and cast adrift.
Morgan's First Mate: But we're winning, sir! We have them at our mercy, and the ship is ours.
Sir Henry Morgan: You heard my orders! Cast off, I say!
Morgan's First Mate: Aye aye, sir!
[to the crew]
Morgan's First Mate: Cut loose those grapnels! Cast off, solid!
Blackbeard: Heh, heh, I knew it...
[Blackbeard's crew cheers and waves their swords at Morgan and his crew]
Blackbeard: We'll call this one a draw, Morgan!

Blackbeard: What be your name, girl?
Edwina Mansfield: Blackbeard!
Blackbeard: No, I be Blackbeard!


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror IV (#5.5)" (1993)
[Marge has to find seats for the Jury of the Damned]
Marge: I'm sorry, Mr. Blackbeard. We're low on chairs and this is the last one.
Blackbeard: Arrr! This chair be high, says I.

Marge: Wait! Before you send him to hell, there's something you should see. That's a photo of Homer and I at our wedding.
Richard Nixon: Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room?
Marge: Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... before the wedding.
[the Jury of the Damned all laugh]
Marge: Read the back, the back.
Blackbeard: Arrr! 'Tis some sort of treasure map.
Benedict Arnold: [snatches it away] You idiot, you can't read!
Blackbeard: Aye, 'tis true. My debauchery was my way of compensatin'.


"Nash Bridges: Land Pirates (#6.4)" (2000)
Blackbeard: Oh, and one more thing, captain: if you get in my way, I'm going to make you dead, too.
Nash Bridges: Ummm, be careful, bubba - I ain't easy to kill.


"The Monkees: The Devil and Peter Tork (#2.20)" (1968)
Blackbeard The Pirate: I always did like young sailors!


"Blackbeard" (2006)
Blackbeard: [to Lt. Maynard who's just been flogged] The sting will go away in a few days. The scabs will take a few weeks.


"Black Sails: XIX. (#3.1)" (2016)
Tom: [Tom and his two brothers are confronting Blackbeard, who they know as Drummond] Are you calling my sister a liar?
Blackbeard: Well. You're here. I can think of at least three lies she must have told you to bring that about. First, I imagine she told you that I retired from a prosperous trade to settle with her here. What she likely did not mention is that trade was high seas piracy. Second, that my name is Drummond. But when I plied that trade, I was called Teach. And third, clearly she led you to believe that you could point your sword in my direction, and survive the experience. This too, is something less than the truth.
[sound of 3 gunshots]


"Jack of All Trades: The Floundering Father (#1.3)" (2000)
Dr. Benjamin Franklin: In the name of Democracy, I demand that you let me go!
Blackbeard the Pirate: Shut up, Piggy!
Dr. Benjamin Franklin: How about giving me a six-course meal and a washmaiden instead?


Magic Island (1995) (V)
Supperstein: [Jack's stereo plays loud music] What be that noise, captain?
Blackbeard: What?
Supperstein: I said, "What BE that noise?"
Blackbeard: What?
Supperstein: [music stops] I said, "WHAT BE THAT INFERNAL RACKET?
Blackbeard: IT BE YOU HOLLERIN' IN ME EAR!