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: So... Let's talk about how we're going to do this thing. Juno MacGuff
: What do you mean? Don't I just have the thing? Squeeze it on out and hand it over? Gerta Rauss
: Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption... Mac MacGuff
: What do you mean? Juno MacGuff
: Wait... No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds? Mark Loring
: Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament. Gerta Rauss
: ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved? Juno MacGuff
: SSHHIT! YES! Close it up!
: You think you're really going to do this? Juno MacGuff
: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter. Vanessa Loring
: That's great. Mark Loring
: Keep it in the oven.
: And this, of course, is Juno. Mark Loring
: Like the city in Alaska? Juno MacGuff
: No. Mark Loring
: No? Hon, shall we sit down and get to know one another? Vanessa Loring
: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice or... Juno MacGuff
: I'll have a Maker's Mark, please. Up. Mac MacGuff
: She's kidding. Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.
: [to Juno
] You are so young.
: [after Vanessa's asks him if he found an apartment
] It's not an apartment, it's a loft. Vanessa Loring
: Well, aren't you the cool guy?
: So have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet? Mark Loring
: Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison for a girl. Juno MacGuff
: Madison? Isn't that a little... gay?
: My dad had this weird obsession with Roman or Greek mythology or something and he decided to name me after Zeus' wife. Mark Loring
: Zeus' wife? Juno MacGuff
: Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of lays but I'm pretty sure Juno was his only wife. And apparently she was supposed to be super beautiful but really mean, like Diana Ross.
: Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff. Juno MacGuff
: She gave you... your own room in... in your whole house? For your... for your stuff? Wow, she's got you on a long leash, Mark.
: [in reference to Juno's stretched out shirt due to pregnancy
] Wow! That shirt's workin' hard.
: Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room.
: What are you saying? Mark Loring
: That it feels a little like bad timing. Vanessa Loring
: What would be a good time for you, Mark? Mark Loring
: There's just some things that I still want to do. Vanessa Loring
: Like what? Be a rock star? Mark Loring
: Don't mock me. Vanessa Loring
: I'm just saying that this is - this is something that's never gonna happen. You know -Your shirt is stupid. Grow up. If I have to wait for you to become Kurt Cobain, I'm never gonna be a mother. Mark Loring
: I never said I'd be a good father.
: '93. I'm telling you that was the best time for rock and roll. Juno MacGuff
: Nuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1. You weren't there, so you can't understand the magic. Mark Loring
: You weren't even alive!
: I mostly work from home. I'm a composer Juno MacGuff
: No shit. Like Johannes Brahms? Mark Loring
: No, more commercial stuff Juno MacGuff
: Like what? Mark Loring
: [about Vanessa
] She just hates when I sit around watching movies and 'not contributing.' Juno MacGuff
: I'll handle this. I'm really good at diffusing mom-type rage.
: [about painting the baby's nursery
] You could just wait a couple months. It's not like the baby's going to storm in here any second and demand dessert-colored walls. Vanessa Loring
: What to Expect says that readying the baby's room is an important process for women. It's called "nesting." Mark Loring
: Nesting, huh? Are you planning to build the crib out of twigs and saliva?
: So, I've been spending a lot of time listening to that weird CD you made me. Mark Loring
: Oh really? What's the verdict? Juno MacGuff
: I sort of like it. I mean, it's cute. Mark Loring
: Cute? Juno MacGuff
: Well, when you're used to the raw power of Iggy and the Stooges, everything else sounds kind of precious by comparison.
: [When Mark shows Juno one of his old comic books
] "Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is... Oh my god, she's a pregnant superhero! Mark Loring
: Isn't that great? I got it when I was in Japan with my band. She reminds me of you. Juno MacGuff
: Wow, I actually feel like less of a fat dork now. Mark Loring
: Yuki is bad ass, man. You should be proud to be in the same condition.
: [about the gender of the unborn baby
] Well, it can really only go two ways. Juno MacGuff
: That's what you think. I drink tons of booze so you might get one of those scary neuter-babies that's born without junk. Mark Loring
: Junk? Juno MacGuff
: You know... it's parts... Mark Loring
: I know what junk is. We definitely want it to have junk. Juno MacGuff
: Well don't worry about it. My step-mom is forcing me to eat really healthy. She won't even let me stand in front of the microwave or eat red M&Ms.