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: Meg, when I'm with you, I-I don't feel so alone. Meg
: Sometimes it's better to be alone. Hercules
: What do you mean? Meg
: Nobody can hurt you.
: He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
: Is Wonderboy here for real? Phil
: What are you talkin' about? Of course he's real.
[gets a proper look at her
: Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks... I'm real, too.
: Uh, so how'd you get stuck with the... Meg
: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."
[Hercules doesn't understand
: Don't worry, maybe Shorty here can explain it to ya.
: "Hercules." Why does that name ring a bell? Pain
: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money? Hades
: What-was-that-name-again? Meg
: Hercules. Panic
: Wait, wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to...? Pain
: Oh, my Gods!
[they run, Hades seizes them
: So you took care of him, huh? "Dead as a doornail." Weren't those your *exact* words? Pain
: This might be a different Hercules. Panic
: Yeah. I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays. Pain
: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?
: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun! Meg
: Yeah, neither did I.
: Aren't you... a damsel in distress? Meg
: I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.
: Thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.
: I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
: Megaera. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?
: You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else. Meg
: You wanted to be petty and dishonest? Hercules
: Everybody's not like that. Meg
: Yes, they are. Hercules
: You're not like that. Meg
: How do you know what I'm like?
: [as she lies dying
] Meg, why did you... You didn't have to... Meg
: People do crazy things... when they're in love.
: [after Hercules accidentally breaks the arms off a statue of Venus
] It looks better that way. No, it really does.
: I'm sorry. You mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something... Meg
: Then read my lips - forget it! Hades
: Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail?
[Hades explodes into flames
] I own you!
: Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon? Hercules
: Oh gee, I don't know. Phil has the rest of the day pretty much booked. Meg
: Aw, Phil, Schmil. Just follow me, out the window, round the dumbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.
: Uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, uh, uh, uh... Meg
: Are you always this articulate? Hercules
: Hercules. My... my name is Hercules. Meg
: Herc... huh. I think I prefer Wonderboy.
: Hercules! Thank goodness. Hercules
: Wha-Wha-What's wrong? Meg
: Oh! Outside of town. Two little boys! Th-They were playing in the gorge! Th-There was this rock slide, a terrible rock slide! They're trapped! Hercules
: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great! Meg
: You're really choked up about this, aren't ya?
[getting off of Pegasus after riding
: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
: I've done my part. Get your little imps... Hades
: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need somebody who can... handle him as a man. Meg
: Hey, I've sworn off manhandling. Hades
: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg? Huh? Meg
: Look, I learned my lesson, okay? Hades
: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath, and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos: your freedom.
[seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain
: Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?
[after Hercules is mobbed by fan girls
: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.
[Meg encounters a rabbit and a gopher in the woods
: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park. Pain
: [as rabbit
] Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny. Panic
: [as chipmunk
] A-And I'm his gopher.
: Bye-bye, Wonderboy...
: Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little *nut*-Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising and here I am sort of... river-guardian-less. Meg
: Look, I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.
] Ohhhhh, at least out loud I won't say I'm in love.
: If I say I want Wonder Boy's head on a platter, you say...? Meg
: [without much enthusiasm
] Medium or well done?
] If there's a prize for rotten judgment/ I guess I've already won that/ No man is worth the aggravation/ That's ancient history, been there, done that!
: Phil! Phil, Hercules needs your help. Phil
: What does he need me for when he's got friends like you? Meg
: He won't listen to me. Phil
: Good! He's finally learned something. Meg
: Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about *him*. If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die.
: Meg, listen. Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of your freedom, fluttering away, *forever*! Meg
: I don't care, I'm not going to help you hurt him! Hades
] I can't believe you're getting all worked up over some "guy." Meg
: This one is different. He's strong, he's caring, he would never do anything to hurt me... Hades
: He's a guy! Meg
] Besides, O Oneness, you *can't* beat him. He has no weaknesses! He...
[she turns and sees Hades smiling slyly at her
: I think he does, Meg.
[envelops her in his arm
: I truly think he does.
: [Hercules starts toward the Cyclops
] What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed! Hercules
: There are worse things.
: The prisoner has been tried and sentenced in his absence. The sentence will now be carried out. Doctor Who
: What sentence? Megara
: The sentence is death. You are to be executed immediately. Vivien Fay
: Oh, may I watch? You don't mind, do you, Doctor? Doctor Who
: No, no, no, no. Please be my guest. I wouldn't want you to miss my own execution.
: In accordance with article 14 of the legal code, subsection 1-3-5: this humanoid's execution is stayed for two hours while we graciously consent to hear his appeal; afterwords the execution will take place as ordered. Doctor Who
: Your honors are too kind.
: You're wrong, your Honor. There's one other witness I can call. Megara
: Who? Doctor Who
: According to article 3, subsection 1-3-5 of the legal code: we, the Megara, are not permitted to read the memory cells of any beings except when they are unable to present their evidence by reason of death, unconsciousness or natural stupidity. Romana
] Stop. I have new evidence. Doctor Who
: Too late. I've just been executed.
: I am reaching her memory cells. This humanoid is not Vivian Fay. She is Cessair of Diplos. Wait. She is guilty of the theft and misuse of the Great Seal of Diplos, also of removing silicon based life forms from the planet Ogros - in contravention of Article 7594 of the Galactic Charter and employing them for her own ends. Doctor Who
: You see? All you had to do was read her memory cells. Megara
: According to Article 3, subsection 135 of the Legal Code, we the Megara are not permitted to read the memory cells of any beings, except when they are unable to present their evidence by reason of death, unconsciousness, or natural stupidity.
: As your council, my advice to you is to submit to execution. So much easier in the end.
: I thought you were on my side. Megara
: I am. You are my client. Doctor Who
: Great lawyer you turned out to be. Megara
: I have your interests at heart. I do not wish you to suffer unduly. I will plead with my colleague for a swift, painless death for you.
: Are you Megara? Megara
: Yes. Yes, I am. What do you want? If you want our gold, if you want our cattle, you can have it. Everything. But why must you take innocent life? Licos
: It is your life that interests us. Megara
: Mine? Mine? Licos
: It is your misfortune to be the wife of Hercules. But taking your life, we destroy what he loves most.
: Hercules... will avenge me. Licos
: I hope he will, but his vengeance will fall on the person that I wish to destroy.
[Hercules has discovered that the Hydra has demolished the Coliseum
: [looking around
] I failed... Megara
: It's not your fault! Hercules
: I left everyone unprotected.
[slams the ground
: Hades was right. I'm just a... a washout. Philoctetes
: Aw, come on, champ! I didn't train you to think like that. Megara
: Wonderboy... Sora
: Phil's right. This is no time to beat yourself up. Hercules
: I'm some hero...