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Quotes for
Autolycus (Character)
from Hercules (2014/I)

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"Xena: Warrior Princess: The King of Assassins (#3.8)" (1997)
[Autolycus is refusing to help Joxer and Gabrielle]
Gabrielle: Autolycus, an innocent person is going to die!
Autolycus: No he isn't, because he's leaving.

Autolycus: A good thief, like a good lover, takes his time... has patience.

Autolycus: I'm not as dumb as he looks.

Autolycus: There's a concept called personal space. Look into it.

Autolycus: Distracts me? A beautiful woman lying naked in a bathtub?
Autolycus: ...Where was I?

Joxer: There's a lot we can learn from each other, you know.
Autolycus: Sure. Hey, why don't you start by teaching me how to disappear without a trace?
Joxer: Okay! First, you...
Joxer: Hey!
Autolycus: [to Gabrielle] Why is he here?
Gabrielle: He knows Jett.
Autolycus: No, in a grander sense - why is he here?

"Xena: Warrior Princess: The Quest (#2.13)" (1997)
Autolycus: Ah, another day, another defilement.

Autolycus: Choose the one drink you wouln't give your worst enemy, and give me a double.

Autolycus: [while Xena is possessing him] Hello, ladies - I'm quite mad.

Xena: [about to take over Autolycus's body] Let go and hold on.
Autolycus: Let go and hold on? HEY!

"Xena: Warrior Princess: Takes One to Know One (#4.19)" (1999)
Xena: Autolycus. I wouldn't have picked you for a party boy...
Autolycus: Well, call me sentimental, but, uh, I hear the words, "cake and ice cream" and I'm there!
[he chuckles]

"Hercules: The Legendary Journeys: My Fair Cupcake (#4.18)" (1998)
Iolaus: Aren't you going to stick around for the official announcement?
Autolycus: Oh, no. You haven't seen me cry. Believe me, it's not a pretty sight.
Iolaus: You're going to be okay, aren't you?
Autolycus: Oh, sure, eventually. All I have left right now is one shiny memory.
[Autolycus leaves; Hercules and Iolaus look at each other, then rush to where the Sapphire of Antioch is displayed. The jewel is gone]
Hercules: One shiny blue memory!
Iolaus: Herc, wait. You know, things have gone so badly for him, why don't we let him keep it for a while?
Hercules: Yeah, you're right.
[they pause a few moments]
Hercules: Okay, that's long enough!
[they rush after Autolycus]

"Xena: Warrior Princess: The Royal Couple of Thieves (#1.17)" (1996)
Autolycus: Talk is cheap. I have an expensive ear.