King George IV
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Quotes for
King George IV (Character)
from "Black Adder the Third" (1987)

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"Black Adder the Third: Sense and Senility (#1.4)" (1987)
Prince George: I must say, Blackadder, that was a close shave. Why would an anarchist possibly want to kill you?
Blackadder: Actually, I think it's you he was trying to kill, sir.
Prince George: Oh hogwash. How could you possibly think that?
Blackadder: Well my suspicions were first aroused by his use of the words "death to the stupid prince".

Mossop: ...lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the "Scottish Play".
Keanrick: Oh-ho... never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder: By the "Scottish Play", I assume you mean *Macbeth*.
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaahh.
Blackadder: What was that?
Keanrick: We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder: What, *Macbeth*?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Ohhh.
Blackadder: Good lord, you mean you have to do *that* every time I say *Macbeth*?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owwww.
Mossop: Will you please stop saying *that*. Always call it the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder: So you want me to say the "Scottish Play"?
Mossop, Keanrick: [shout] Yes.
Blackadder: Rather than *Macbeth*?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owwwwww.
Prince George: For heaven's sake, what is all this hullabaloo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why... it's like that play we saw the other day, what was it called... umm...
Blackadder: *Macbeth*, sir?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They are bowing toward the Prince, and must tweak their own noses]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owwwwww.
Prince George: No, no, it was called Julius Caesar.
Blackadder: Ah, yes, of course. Julius Caesar... not *Macbeth*.
Mossop, Keanrick: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owwwwww.

Prince George: Are you sure we can even trust these acting fellows, Blackadder? Last time we went to the theater three of them murdered Julius Caesar. And one of them was his best friend, Brutus!
Blackadder: As I have told you about eight times, the man playing Julius Caesar was an actor called Kemp.
Prince George: Really?
Blackadder: Yes?
Prince George: Thundering gherkins! Well, Brutus must have been pretty miffed when he found out!
Blackadder: What?
Prince George: That he hadn't killed Caesar after all, just some poxy actor called Kemp! What do you think he did, go 'round to Caesar's place after the play and kill him then?

Prince George: [shouting from upstairs] Come on, Blackadder, we'll miss the first act!
Blackadder: [shouts up] Coming sir, as fast as I can!
Blackadder: [sitting in his chair] Stick the kettle on, Baldrick.

Anarchist: Right, everybody out! Smash the Spinning Jenny! Burn the Rolling Rosalind! Destroy the Going-up-and-down-a-bit-and-then-moving-along Gertrude! And death to the stupid Prince who grows fat on the profits!
[he tosses a lit bomb to the Prince]
Prince George: I say, how exciting! This play's getting better and better! Bravo! Bravo!
Blackadder: It's not a play anymore, sir. Put the bomb down and make your way quietly to the exit.
Prince George: Blackadder, you old thing, your problem is you can't tell when something's real and when it's not!
[the bomb explodes]

Prince George: Anarchist!
Baldrick: Cleaner!
Prince George: So you've had a wash, that's no excuse!

Prince George: Mr. Thicky-Black-Thicky-Adder-Thicky!

Mossop: ...Lest you continue in your quotation and mention the name of the Scottish Play.
Keanrick: Oh, never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder: By "the Scottish Play," I assume you mean Macbeth?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Ah.
Blackadder: What was that?
Keanrick: We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the Scottish Play.
Blackadder: What, Macbeth?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Ooh.
Blackadder: Good Lord, you mean you have to do that every time I say Macbeth?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owww.
Mossop: Will you please stop saying that? Always call it the Scottish Play!
Blackadder: So you want me to say "the Scottish Play"...
Mossop, Keanrick: [shouting] Yes!
Blackadder: ...rather than Macbeth.
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Owww.
Prince George: I say, what is all this hullaballoo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why, it's like that play we saw the other day. What was it called, uh...?
Blackadder: Macbeth, sir?
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake with themselves]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[as they are still bowing to the prince, each tweaks his own nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Ah.
Prince George: No, no, no, no, it was called Julius Caesar.
Blackadder: Oh, yes, of course. Julius Caesar. Not Macbeth.
Mossop, Keanrick: Aaah!
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop, Keanrick: Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop, Keanrick: Ah.

Mossop: ...lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the "Scottish Play".
Keanrick: Oh-ho... never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder: By the "Scottish Play", I assume you mean *Macbeth*.
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Keanrick, Mossop: Aaahh.
Blackadder: What was that?
Keanrick: We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder: What, *Macbeth*?
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Keanrick, Mossop: Ohhh.
Blackadder: Good lord, you mean you have to do *that* every time I say *Macbeth*?
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwww.
Mossop: Will you please stop saying *that*. Always call it the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder: So you want me to say the "Scottish Play"?
Keanrick, Mossop: [shout] Yes.
Blackadder: Rather than *Macbeth*?
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Keanrick, Mossop: Owwwwww.
Prince George: For heaven's sake, what is all this hullabaloo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why... it's like that play we saw the other day, what was it called... umm... Blackadder
Blackadder: *Macbeth*, sir?
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They are bowing toward the Prince, and must tweak their own noses]
Keanrick, Mossop: . Owwwwww.
Prince George: No, no, it was called Julius Caesar. Ah, yes, of course. Julius Caesar... not *Macbeth*.
Keanrick, Mossop: Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Keanrick, Mossop: . Owwwwww.


"Black Adder the Third: Ink and Incapability (#1.2)" (1987)
[about the dictionary]
Blackadder: No, sir, it is not. It's the most pointless book since How To Learn French was translated into French.
Prince George: You haven't got anything personal against Johnson, have you Blackadder?
Blackadder: Good Lord, sir, not at all. In fact, I had never heard of him until you mentioned him just now.
Prince George: But you do think he's a genius...?
Blackadder: No, sir, I do not. Unless, of course, the definition of "genius" in his ridiculous Dictionary is "a fat dullard or wobblebottom; a pompous ass with sweatly dewflaps".
Prince George: Ha. close shave there, then. Lucky you warned me. I was about to embrace this unholy arse to the royal bosom.
Blackadder: I'm delighted to have been instrumental of keeping your bosom free of arses, sir.

Prince George: Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey.
Blackadder: Oh, an absurd suggestion sir, unless it was a particularly stupid donkey.

Prince George: I'm as happy as a Frenchman who has just invented a pair of self-removing trousers.

Prince George: [wakes up agitated] Oh, Blackadder. Blackadder!
Blackadder: You called sir?
Prince George: Wha- wha- what time is it?
Blackadder: Three o'clock in the afternoon, your highness.
Prince George: Oh, thank God for that, I thought I'd overslept.

Prince George: Well, yes, you see, only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn't until later that I thought how clever it would've been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"

Prince George: [reading] "Medium-sized insectivore with protruding nasal implement." Doesn't sound much like a bee to me!
Blackadder: It's an aardvark your highness, can't you see that? It's a bloody aardvark!

Prince George: Ah, Dr. Johnson, damn cold day!
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Indeed it is sir - but a very fine one, for I celebrated last night the encyclopedic implementation of my pre-meditated orchestration of demotic Anglo-Saxon.
Prince George: Nope - didn't catch any of that.
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous since during the course of the penultimate solar sojourn, I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation of the vocabluary of our post-Norman tongue.
Prince George: Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn saucy, you lucky thing! I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've never penultimated any of them in a solar sojourn, or for that matter, been given any Norman tongue.
Blackadder: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. It has apparently taken him ten years.
Prince George: Well, I'm a slow reader myself.


"Black Adder the Third: Duel and Duality (#1.6)" (1987)
Prince George: Please please. You've got to help me. I don't want to die. I've got so much to give. I want more time.
Blackadder: A poignant plea sir. Enough to melt the stoniest of hearts. But the answer, I'm afraid, must remain: "You're going to die, fat pig."
Prince George: Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'll give you everything.
Blackadder: Everything?
Prince George: Everything.
Blackadder: The money, the castles, the jewelry?
Prince George: Yes.
Blackadder: The highly artistic but also highly illegal set of French lithographs?
Prince George: Everything.
Blackadder: The amusing clock where the little man comes out and drops his trousers every half hour?
Prince George: Yes, yes, all right.
Blackadder: Very well, I accept. A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally I'd mud wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and a sack of French porn. You're on.
Prince George: Hurrah!

Prince George: I spent a night of ecstasy with a pair of Wellingtons and I loved it.

Prince George: [the Prince has been shot] I die! I hope men will say of me that I did duty by my country.
Blackadder: I think that's pretty unlikely, sir. If I were you, I'd try for something a bit more realistic.
Prince George: Like what?
Blackadder: Ah, you hope that men will think of you as a bit of a thicky?
Prince George: All right, I'll hope that.

Prince George: Perhaps this disgusting fellow is some sort of blessing in disguise.
Blackadder: If he is, it's a very good disguise.
Prince George: After all, did the Lord not send Moses a lowly earthworm to comfort him in his torment?
Blackadder: Nope.
Prince George: Well, it's the sort of thing he might have done.

Prince George: It's like that story. "The Prince and the Porpoise."
Blackadder: "and the Pauper," sir.
Prince George: Ah yes. "The Prince and the Porpoise and the Pauper."

Prince George: Ah, Blackadder! Notice anything unusual?
Blackadder: Yes sir. It's 11:30 in the morning and you're moving about. Is the bed on fire?


"Black Adder the Third: Dish and Dishonesty (#1.1)" (1987)
Prince George: You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

Blackadder: [plotting to gain Sir Talbot's support in Parliament] However, if we're going to get him to support us, he will need some sort of incentive.
Prince George: Hmm, anything in mind?
Blackadder: Well, you could appoint him a high court judge.
Prince George: Is he qualified?
Blackadder: He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.
Prince George: Sounds a bit over-qualified. Well, get him here at once.
Blackadder: Certainly, sir. I will return before you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism.'
Prince George: Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that! Antidistibilitsmin... anti-misty-linstimbl... anti-stids...
title card: Two Days Later
Prince George: Anti-distinctly-minty-monetarism...
[Blackadder enters]
Blackadder: Your Highness, Sir Talbot Buxomly, MP.

Blackadder: [enters in a lords gown] My lord.
Prince George: My Lords.
Blackadder: Pardon, sir?
Prince George: My Lords. There is more than one lord in the vicinity. Will you please welcome his Grace, the Lord Baldrick.
[Baldrick enters in his lordly regalia]
Blackadder: You made BALDRICK a Lord?
Prince George: Well, yes. One who has recently done sterling service, matching the political machinations of the evil Pitt. Good old Lord Baldrick!
Baldrick: It's all right Blackadder, you don't have to curtsey or anything.
Blackadder: Sir, might I let loose a short violent exclamation?
Prince George: Certainly.
Blackadder: [Blackadder moves discreetly sideways, then shouts] DAMN!
Prince George: I say, that's a bit of a strange get up, isn't it Blackadder?
Blackadder: No sir, I'm just off to a fancy dress party. I'm going as Lady Hamilton's pussy.
[he walks towards the door, stops and turns]
Blackadder: There is one little question, sir. About the £400 000 to influence the lords...
Prince George: Ah, yes. I gave that to Lord Baldrick.
Blackadder: [Looking pleased] Ahh! Sir, might I be permitted to take Lord Baldrick downstairs for some instruction in his lordly duties?
Prince George: I think that's a splendid idea.
Blackadder: [to Baldrick] This way, my Lord.
[Leaves with cloak raised, Dracula-esque]

Prince George: I say, Blackadder, are you sure this is the PM? Seems more like an oily tick to me. When I was at school, we used to line up four or five of his sort, make 'em bend over, and use 'em as a toast rack.
Pitt the Younger: It doesn't surprise me, sir, I know your sort. Once, it was I who stood in the big, cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame. Since that day, I have been busy every hour God sent, working to become Prime Minister and fight sloth and privilege wherever I found it.
Blackadder: [Casually] I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet.

Blackadder: Sir, may I be allowed a short violent outburst?
Prince George: Why yes of course.
Blackadder: DAMN.


Beau Brummel (1924)
Prince of Wales: Egad, sir, what a beautiful woman!

Prince of Wales: By George! You're a better beau than I am - George!
Gordon Bryon 'Beau' Brummel: By George! I believe I am - George!

Gordon Bryon 'Beau' Brummel: I should like to ask Your Royal Highness' permission to resign from the Army?
Prince of Wales: Have you no wish to serve your country?
Gordon Bryon 'Beau' Brummel: Not in Manchester, sir.

Prince of Wales: Will you arrange a little supper for tonight, George, and invite some friends of the female persuasion - say at eight?
Gordon Bryon 'Beau' Brummel: Make it eight-thirty.

Prince of Wales: I have decided to send my good friend, Mr. Brummel, to France, as Ambassador. Frankly, we are tired of our dear Beau's scandals - but scandal is all the rage in France.


The Madness of King George (1994)
Prince of Wales: To be Prince of Wales is not a position - it is a predicament.

Prince of Wales: Assaulted by both one's parents in the same evening! What *is* family life coming to?

Prince of Wales: Do you like music, Warren?
Warren: [tonelessly] If it's played, sir, I listen to it.

Prince of Wales: [pointing to medal] What's that one?
Duke of York: Oh, I found out the other day that I'm Bishop of Osnabruck.
[pause]
Duke of York: Amazing what one is, really.


"Black Adder the Third: Amy and Amiability (#1.5)" (1987)
Blackadder: If you can't make money you'll have to marry it.
Prince George: Marry? Never! I'm a gay bachelor, Blackadder. I'm a roarer, a rogerer, a gorger, and a puker. I can't marry. I'm young, I'm firm buttocked, I'm, I'm...
Blackadder: Broke.
Prince George: Well, yes, I suppose.
Blackadder: And don't forget, sir, that the modern church smiles on roaring and gorging within wedlock. And indeed rogering is keenly encouraged.
Prince George: And the puking?
Blackadder: I believe it is still very much down to the conscience of the individual church-goer.

Prince George: Right, so what's the plan?
Blackadder: Well I thought I could take her a short note, expressing your honourable intentions.
Prince George: Yes, yes. I think so too. All right then, well take this down; From His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood:
Prince George: Tally ho, my fine saucy young trollop! Trip along here with all your cash and some naughty night attire, and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now until Christmas, you lucky tart! Yours, with the deepest respect etc. Signed, George. P.S. Woof, woof!
Prince George: Well, what do you think?
Blackadder: It's very moving sir. Would you mind if I changed just one tiny aspect of it?
Prince George: Which one?
Blackadder: The words.
Prince George: Oh yes, I'll leave the details to you, Blackadder. Just make sure she knows I'm all man, with a bit of animal thrown in! Rawr!
Blackadder: Certainly sir.

Prince George: Ah, brekkers! I could eat 14 trays of it this morning and still have room for a dolphin on toast.
Blackadder: Any particular reason for this gluttinous levity, sir?
Prince George: Well, what do you think, Black Adder? I'm in love. I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love. Oh, Amy, bless all ten of your tiny little pinkies.


The Scarlet Pimpernel (1982) (TV)
Prince Regent: Percy. Fashionably late, as usual.
Sir Percy: Sink me, your highness, it was this damned cravat. Simply refused to tie. I ask you. Sticking out like a pincushion.
Prince Regent: I might have known it would be something serious.

Sir Percy: [on his poem] Well, the pretty thing rhymes in four places, don't you see? And if a rhyme rhymes, it makes a poem, if you follow me.
Prince Regent: As if it were crystal clear... my dear!


"Black Adder the Third: Nob and Nobility (#1.3)" (1987)
Blackadder: Farewell, dear master, and - dare I say it - friend.
Prince George: Farewell, brave liberator, and - dare I say it - butler.

Prince George: Ah! Le Adder Noir! Come a nous in!


Beau Brummell (1954)
Prince of Wales: She's leaving me, George. Moriah's going. I don't want to live without her. I WON'T live without her. I'm sorry, George. I know it's not very manly of me. Silly of me to have come! You're the only friend I've got so I had to.
George Bryan 'Beau' Brummell: Come and sit down. Don't talk if you don't feel like it, just rest.
Mortimer: [Gives Brummell the three rings Patricia sent] These came for you, earlier on, sir.
George Bryan 'Beau' Brummell: Thank you.
Prince of Wales: Moriah's going to Italy to live. I can't say I blame her really. People whispering about her, slandering her. Said this would ruin my life and I've told her again and again that everything would be different when I'm king. Just can't wait that long. Oh, dear!
George Bryan 'Beau' Brummell: I understand completely, sir. Not only because of my affection for you, but because I'm in the same position.
Prince of Wales: You're in love? Patricia. Oh, I knew it! I sensed something. But what about Edwin?
George Bryan 'Beau' Brummell: Well, it seems that he represents the the solid, respectable present. I'm the uncertain, dangerous future. The female yearns for snug harbors. It's rather fundamental. It's very difficult to fight.
Prince of Wales: Well, what will you do?
George Bryan 'Beau' Brummell: I'm not certain, sir. I'm only certain of what's in my heart and hers. I don't intend to let her go.


The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934)
Prince of Wales: Why, damn me, Percy, you're brainless, spineless, useless: But you do know clothes!


Sharpe's Regiment (1996) (TV)
Prince Regent: How'd you do?
Major Richard Sharpe: [nervous] Eh?... Your Majesty...
Prince Regent: What d'you say? What d'you say? Did you say 'eh'?
[turns to entourage]
Prince Regent: He said 'eh'!
[he and entourage laugh]
Prince Regent: What are you doing in rifle green if you're South Essex? Ain't they red?
Major Richard Sharpe: Y-yes sir, your majesty sir...
Prince Regent: [beckons Sharpe forward] Come up, come up.
[Sharpe approaches]
Prince Regent: Now look Sharpe!
[he laughs]
Prince Regent: May I call you Dick?
Major Richard Sharpe: Uh... honoured sir.
Prince Regent: Call me... well call me your royal Highness, but damn me the honour is entirely mine, Dick!