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Quotes for
Muffin Man (Character)
from Shrek 2 (2004)

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Shrek 2 (2004)
Shrek: Quick, tell a lie!
Pinocchio: What should I say?
Donkey: Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"
Pinocchio: I'm wearing ladies underwear.
Pinocchio: [silence]
Shrek: Are you?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not!
Pinocchio: [nose extends]
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are!
Pinocchio: I am not!
Pinocchio: [nose extends]
Puss-in-Boots: What kind?
Gingerbread Man: IT'S A THONG!

Gingerbread Man: It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!

Donkey: What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.
Puss-in-Boots: [camera shows just Puss] I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
Gingerbread Man: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss-in-Boots: [looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him] Too late.

Gingerbread Man: Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We got a big order to fill.

Gingerbread Man: IT'S ALIVE!

Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Sure, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.

[Harold takes the spell meant for Shrek, and is blasted until only his armour remains]
Princess Fiona: Oh, Dad...
Queen: Harold...
Pinocchio: Is he... oh...
[there's a "ribbit"]
Gingerbread Man: He croaked...
[Harold, the Frog King, clambers out of his armour]
Queen: ...Harold?
Princess Fiona: ...Dad?
King: [sighs] I had hoped you would never see me like this...
Donkey: [to Shrek] Huh - and he gave *you* a hard time!
Shrek: Donkey!
King: No, no, he's right - I'm sorry, to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it. Shrek, Fiona - will you accept an old frog's apologies, and my blessing?
[Shrek and Fiona bow their heads in assent]
Queen: Harold...
King: I'm sorry, Lillian - I just wish I could be the man that you deserve...
Queen: [taking him in her hand] You're more that man today than you ever were - warts and all...

Gingerbread Man: I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture.
Pinocchio: I'm not flipping anywhere, Sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.


Scared Shrekless (2010) (TV)
Shrek: Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.
Princess Fiona: Happy Halloween, everyone.
Donkey: Oh, man.
Gingerbread Man: [to Donkey] I thought you said this was gonna scare 'em.

Shrek: Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes.
Pinocchio: Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story!
Wolf: This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary.
Pinocchio: Actually, if you look at it with *my* perspective...
Gingerbread Man: Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...

Gingerbread Man: Wait! More sugar.
Muffin Man: But that is not the recipe.
Gingerbread Man: Trust me, Muffin Man, this girl's gotta be real sweet. I want someone who will love me forever.
Muffin Man: I must warn you, Gingy. No one has ever made cookies with this much sugar. You are tampering with forces far beyond your comprehension!
Gingerbread Man: Just put her in the oven.