Michael 'Squints' Palledorous
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Quotes for
Michael 'Squints' Palledorous (Character)
from The Sandlot (1993)

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The Sandlot (1993)
Smalls: You were all leaving, so I thought I'd hop the...
Squints: If you'da been thinkin you wouldn't 'a thought that.

Squints: It's about time Benny, my clothes are goin' outa style.
Yeah Yeah: They already are, Squints.
Squints: Shut up.

Squints: [Squints is about to tell a story] Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up. It just went to bed!
Smalls: [quite loudly] What just went to bed?
All: SHH!
[whispering]
All: The Beast.
Smalls: [louder] Oh yeah!
All: SHHHH!

Squints: Come on, Benny. Man. The kid is a...
[with his thumb and index fingers of both hands]
Squints: L, 7, Weenie!
Yeah Yeah: Yeah. Yeah. Oscar Meyer even.

Squints: Where did your old man get that ball?
Smalls: I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. She even signed her name on it.Some lady named... Ruth. Baby Ruth.
All: *Babe Ruth?*

Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back.
Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT?
Kenny: The sultan of swat!
Bertram: The king of crash!
Timmy: The colossus of clout!
Tommy: The colossus of clout!
All: BABE RUTH!
Ham Porter: THE GREAT BAMBINO!
Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?
All: YES!
Benny Rodriguez: Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.
Smalls: [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning] I don't feel so good.
All: [Fanning Scott with their caps] Give him air, give him air.

Squints: For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver!

Ham Porter: [the kids are being chased away from the pool by the lifeguards after Squints kisses Wendy] Oh, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?
Squints: [puts on his glasses] Of course I did. been planning it for years.

Squints: [In the tree house, telling the story of the mutant dog who lives next door] ... after a while the cops started getting calls from people reporting all the missing thieves...

Squints: I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more!

Ham Porter: [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him] Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino.
Sandlot Kids: What?
Ham Porter: [still can't understand him] I'm the Great Bambino!
Sandlot Kids: What?
Ham Porter: [takes cigar out of mouth] I'm the Great Bambino.
Sandlot Kids: Oh!
Smalls: Who's that?
Smalls: [narrating] I had no idea what they were talking about.
Ham Porter: What did he say?
Bertram: What? Were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah Yeah: Yeah yeah, what planet are you from?
Smalls: [narrating] But there was no *way* I could let them know.
Squints: You've never heard of the sultan of swat?
Kenny: The titan of terror.
Timmy: The colossus of clout!
Tommy: The colossus of clout!
Benny Rodriguez: The king of crash, man.
Smalls: [narrating] So, I lied.
Smalls: Oh! The Great Bambino. Of course. I thought you said the great Bambi.
Ham Porter: That wimpy deer?

Squints: the kid is a L7 weenie.
Yeah Yeah: yeah yeah, Oscar Myer even, footlong, dodger dog, a weenie!
All: ohhh haha
Benny Rodriguez: what are you laughing at Yeah Yeah? you run like a duck!
Yeah Yeah: kay kay, but I'm... I'm...
Benny Rodriguez: Part of the game right?
Yeah Yeah: mmm... Yeah?
Benny Rodriguez: Now how come he don't get to be?
Bertram: hes a geek man
All: he can't catch.
Benny Rodriguez: [looks back at smalls] Man base up you blockheads.

Squints: It's about time Benny, my clothes are going out of style.
Yeah Yeah: They already are, Squints.
Squints: Shut up.


The Sandlot: Heading Home (2007) (V)
Squints: All right, Mr. Chairman, we accept the challenge. On one condition. The game for the sandlot is played on the sandlot.