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Quotes for
Edward Montgomery (Character)
from "Dharma & Greg" (1997)

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"Dharma & Greg: The Cat's Out of the Bag (#1.20)" (1998)
Greg Montgomery: Did you guys even try to work this out? Have you consider therapy?
Edward Montgomery: I *told* her to go.

Pete Cavanaugh: Hey, now that you're single, you and I can go out trolling for some "skinunuy".
Edward Montgomery: She sold my boat.


"Dharma & Greg: Papa Was Almost a Rolling Stone (#5.3)" (2001)
Edward Montgomery: [defying Kitty] Oh by the way, I'm not wearing underwear. I don't know why I ever did...

[last lines]
Edward Montgomery: [about his gaudy jacket] Son you know your mother, she'll eventually get use to it.
Greg Montgomery: I guess...
Edward Montgomery: And then I'll take it off.


"Dharma & Greg: Pilot (#1.1)" (1997)
Kitty Montgomery: Finkelstein?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: Mm-hmm.
Kitty Montgomery: Edward, what's the name of our Jewish friends?
Edward Montgomery: The Gottliebs, dear.
Kitty Montgomery: Right, the Gottliebs. Do you know them?
Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery: Uh, no. Actually, I wasn't raised Jewish. My dad started his own church though, but no one really came. Well, except the IRS.


"Dharma & Greg: Dharma's Inferno (#3.3)" (1999)
Business Man: You should know that your mother is very proud of you.
Greg Montgomery: My mother?
Edward Montgomery: His mother?


"Dharma & Greg: Much Ado During Nothing (#1.22)" (1998)
[last lines]
Dharma: Hey, you know what, Kitty? Greg and I worked really hard, but I think you guys deserve this.
Kitty Montgomery: What is this?
Greg: It's a duck.
Edward Montgomery: That's not a duck; it's a goose.
Dharma: Yes. But Captain, my Captain, 'goose' does not rhyme.


"Dharma & Greg: And Then There's the Wedding (#1.4)" (1997)
Greg Montgomery: I keep feeling like there's something I should be doing.
Edward Montgomery: Gregory, relax. You're supposed to feel useless on your wedding day. It prepares you for the rest of your married life.
Greg Montgomery: [sarcastically] Oh, thanks, dad. That's nice. I hope that's part of your toast.


"Dharma & Greg: She's with the Band (#5.17)" (2002)
Greg: Dharma, your coffee gets cold
Edward Montgomery: What are you afraid of, son?
Dharma: Honey, guess what. I joined a band
Greg: That


"Dharma & Greg: Daughter of the Bride of Finkelstein (#1.18)" (1998)
Larry Finkelstein: See these shoes? Eighteen dollars.
Edward Montgomery: For both of them?


"Dharma & Greg: Mad Secretaries and Englishmen (#4.7)" (2000)
Kitty Montgomery: Come along, Edward. There's someone I want you to meet.
Edward Montgomery: I hope his name is Johnnie Walker.
Kitty Montgomery: It's the archbishop.
Edward Montgomery: I hope his name is Archbishop Johnnie Walker.


"Dharma & Greg: The Spy Who Said He Loved Me (#3.17)" (2000)
[last lines]
Edward Montgomery: Son, do you want to play catch?


"Dharma & Greg: Welcome to the Hotel Calamari (#3.2)" (1999)
Edward Montgomery: [talking to Dharma] Hey, I put the F-U in fun little lady.


"Dharma & Greg: Dharma Drags Edward Out of Retirement (#2.20)" (1999)
Edward Montgomery: [parting words for a business client] Remember what I taught you, "success comes in cans, not can'ts".


"Dharma & Greg: The Ex-Files (#1.5)" (1997)
Edward Montgomery: Gregory I appreciate you taking a moment to settle this little thing.
Greg: No problem dad. That's why the FBI built the crime lab, to get to the bottom of these critical Gin Rummi disputes.