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Quotes for
Pete Dunville (Character)
from "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" (1998)

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"Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place: Two Guys, a Girl and a Gamble (#2.13)" (1999)
[Trying to help Michael with a Maths problem]
Pete Dunville: If there's three players on this side and there's nine players on this side it's
Michael Rush: 9 to 3, stop looking at me it's 9 to 3
Berg: 3 to 1!
Pete Dunville: Very good Berg, tonight you get an extra hour of TV

[after discovering Berg took Michael to the dog track]
Pete Dunville: [through his teeth] Michael go get ready for hockey practice, I need to talk to Berg
Michael Rush: Oh boy, that's never good news at my house
Berg: Me neither

Pete Dunville: [to Berg] Stay here and watch the pizza place and try not to take it to the dog track

Berg: Michael come here, I want to talk to you for a minute
[Michael sits on the couch]
Berg: it's my fault you cheated
Michael Rush: I didn't cheat
Berg: What?
Pete Dunville: Come on, let's go
Berg: Hold on Pete, what do you mean you didn't cheat?
Michael Rush: They thought I was cheating because I got all the answers right, they made me do the test in front of the principal, he had to apologize to me
Berg: Peter?
Pete Dunville: Just because it worked out, doesn't mean you were right
Berg: Funny I feel right

Berg: You're too young to bet!
Michael Rush: You said!
Berg: No I didn't tell you, you're going to go back tomorrow and give those shoes back to Jimmy Peterson
Michael Rush: Do I have you?
Berg: You bet your ass
Pete Dunville: Berg?
Berg: Rectum
[Michael laughs]

Pete Dunville: Between the two of us, we're gonna make one pretty good Dad
[They exit the apartment and Michael walks out in his hockey gear]
Michael Rush: Pete? Berg?
[Pete and Berg both barge back in repeatedly saying Sorry]

[Johnny has entered behind them]
Pete Dunville: Obviously you don't love Johnny the way I do
Berg: I love Johnny
Pete Dunville: I love Johnny too
Johnny Donnelly: Guys I don't know how to tell you this but I'm already in a relationship
[he smacks their butts]

Kaitlin Rush: Do you have a kid to go with this stuff?
Pete Dunville: Oh Michael is across the street in the park with Berg completing his Jedi training, the force is strong with him

"Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place: Should I Stay or Should I Go? (#4.21)" (2001)
Ashley Walker: I was afraid.
Pete: It was after sundown, what did you have to be afraid of?

"Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place: Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Pete: Hey Berg, what do you thinks gonna happen to Sharon?
Berg: I'm sure she'll settle down, have kids...
Sharon Carter: [banging on glass from inside restaurant] Get your butts back in here!
Berg: Take over Cuba...

"Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place: Two Guys, a Girl and a Landlord (#1.13)" (1998)
Pete Dunville: [to the tenants] Today can be our independence day.