David Rossi
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Quotes for
David Rossi (Character)
from "Criminal Minds" (2005)

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"Criminal Minds: Profiling 101 (#7.22)" (2012)
[first lines]
Aaron Hotchner: Morning.
David Rossi: Oh, hey. Morning.
Aaron Hotchner: Everyone's gathered. We're all ready if you are.
David Rossi: Yeah, let's do it.
Aaron Hotchner: You need that?
David Rossi: Listen, Aaron. Thanks for letting me set this up, but the whole team really didn't need to be here. I'm the one that owed the favor.
Aaron Hotchner: Everyone insisted. How you doing?
David Rossi: Sorry, what?
Aaron Hotchner: You okay?
David Rossi: Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm great. I'm good. I'll meet you over there in a minute, okay?

Derek Morgan: Does anybody here know exactly what a serial killer is?
David Zimmerman: Someone who's committed more than one murder.
Derek Morgan: That's very good. By statute, three is the magic number. And it's actually more qualitative than quantitative for us.
David Rossi: Today we're going to talk about how some serial killers get made. Because if you can understand that, then you can figure out a way to catch them.

David Rossi: The philosopher Voltaire wrote: To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth. The dead are the cornerstone of every homicide investigation. Victims give us a look into the killer's mind. If you want to know about a hunter, study his prey.

Dr. Spencer Reid: He dumped his first victim Rachel in an alley, but he took the time to bury Tina, which suggests he felt more connected to her and perhaps even felt remorse.
David Zimmerman: Did you ever catch this guy?
David Rossi: What's your name, young man?
David Zimmerman: David Zimmerman.
David Rossi: Don't interrupt, Zimmerman.

David Rossi: [San Francisco, 1997] Excuse me, I'm looking for the case agent.
Aaron Hotchner: That would be me. Agent Rossi, I'm Agent Hotchner, Seattle division. We spoke on the phone. I inherited the case from Agent Bidwell. Thanks for coming so quickly.
David Rossi: Yeah, I hopped the first flight from Dulles. Came straight from the airport.
Aaron Hotchner: That's a long trip.
David Rossi: With bad food.
Aaron Hotchner: Let me show you what we found. A jogger discovered the first body dumped in the bushes about 30 yards over the road here. The M. E. said that she'd been there almost a month.

Thomas Yates: I've got something for you. It's a present. Open it.
David Rossi: What is it?
Thomas Yates: Open it and see.
David Rossi: You shouldn't have.
Thomas Yates: Surprise. Those are some of the girls I took. The ones you didn't find. There's 40 there.
David Rossi: Why should I believe you?
Thomas Yates: I thought you might ask that. It's all part of the deal.
David Rossi: Look, let's get something straight. There is no deal.
Thomas Yates: Not yet.
David Rossi: Not ever.
Thomas Yates: It's actually 101 names. And I remember all of them. And I'll tell you where I put them. Here's what I want. One, no death penalty. I don't care if I rot in here. But no chair and no injections. Two, I want a transfer to the East Coast. Grandma's dead. Nothing holding me here. Plus, I like the idea of snow in the winter. Never really had that growing up.
David Rossi: I didn't come all this way to get smoke blown up my ass.
Thomas Yates: After I get my sentence commuted and my transfer, I'll give you more names. But only one each year. To keep you honest. You understand.
David Rossi: Anything else?
Thomas Yates: Yes. I get to decide when you get the name. It'll be on a special day of my choosing. And you have to come and get it from me personally. What do you say, Agent? Hmm? Deal?

David Rossi: Irish statesman and author Edmund Burke once wrote: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. This job isn't just what I do, it's who I am.
Devin: Is it worth it?
David Rossi: For every life we save? Damn right it is.
Derek Morgan: Absolutely it's worth it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't imagine doing anything else.

David Rossi: Yes, Mr. Zimmerman.
David Zimmerman: So, you have to go visit this guy every year to get the name of another victim.
David Rossi: That's right.
David Zimmerman: So, what was the special day of his choosing?

Thomas Yates: Any plans for the big day? Come on. You should get out and do something. Never know how many of these you got left.
David Rossi: What's her name?
Thomas Yates: I used to hate birthdays when I was a kid. That's why I like celebrating yours.
David Rossi: Her name.
[Yates throws a paper]

"Criminal Minds: From Childhood's Hour (#7.5)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] All things truly wicked, start from an innocence." ~~ Ernest Hemingway

Emily Prentiss: Morgan and I were joking around on the jet, but something is definitely up. Is there anything you want to share?
David Rossi: It's nothing. Uh... I had breakfast with Carolyn the other morning.
Emily Prentiss: Carolyn? Oh! Is that wife number four or five?
David Rossi: Look, let's get our facts straight. I only had three wives. I mean, that's in the realm of reasonable.
Emily Prentiss: [snickering] Okay, I'm sorry.

David Rossi: A mother who wants to kill herself. What does that say to a child? That you're not worth sticking around for?

David Rossi: I am really sorry. I had to take that.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: It's okay. Fruit plate? Whatever happened to the usual bacon and eggs, extra grease on the side?
David Rossi: Well, I've changed. Okay, the cantaloupe is for your benefit. When we were married, you were always warning me about clogged arteries.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: And you would always say to me...
David Rossi: Nobody lives forever.

David Rossi: You know, I'm really glad you called me. It would be nice if we saw each other more than once every three or four years.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Maybe we can.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: So, give me the update. Anybody serious in your life?
David Rossi: Well, there are all those serial killers. They're pretty serious.

[last lines]
David Rossi: Hey, what's going on with you?
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Um... You know, I... I don't know how to say this, except to just say it.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Last year, I was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease.
David Rossi: Carolyn...
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Like you always said, nobody lives forever.
David Rossi: Why didn't you call me earlier? I could have...
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Please let me finish. Because if I don't get this out now, I don't know that I ever will. I've had this disease for over a year. To live 18 months is a gift. The last few weeks I've started noticing the signs. It won't be long now. I came to ask you when the disease reaches the point, and I'm too weak or too afraid, I want you to help me leave this world on my own terms. When it's time, will you help me end my life?

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a male unsub in his mid- to late twenties. Physically fit enough to subdue Marlene Smith, and carry out a vicious attack and sustained attack.
David Rossi: We believe he sees himself as a rescuer, taking children away from unfit parents. He may very well have abandonment issues from his own childhood.
Derek Morgan: The impulsive nature of committing the murder out in the open suggests that he's inexperienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The violence on Marlene Smith went from precision to frenzy, which points to someone with classic psychopathic traits; quick to rage and quick to recover.
Emily Prentiss: He also appears to have insider knowledge of the families in these cases, so we need to look for someone who was privy to what went on behind those closed doors.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Emergency personnel were called to the Smith house after both suicide attempts, and once to the Tanner house after the mother overdosed on prescription drugs.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That means first responders, Child Service workers, ambulance personnel. Both missing children apparently went without struggle or protest. That makes us think that they had prior contact with the person we're looking for.
David Rossi: Or they inherently trust who he is by the virtue of his job. The uniform he wears; doctor, mailman, policeman.
Derek Morgan: So far, the violence has been directed to the offending parent, but we don't know what the unsub's endgame is.
Emily Prentiss: We have written up a media release on precautions the public needs to take.
Aaron Hotchner: And we've taken the second mother into protective custody, thus depriving him of his target. This will increase his volatility.
David Rossi: That's why it's critical we find these kids. If they are alive, he may turn his violence against the children themselves.

David Rossi: We got all the kids back safe. Think about it, Aaron. How often does that happen?
Aaron Hotchner: Not often enough.

Carolyn Baker Rossi: The Cioppino was delicious.
David Rossi: You gotta love any dish that recommends the wearing of a bib.

"Criminal Minds: About Face (#3.6)" (2007)
David Rossi: We didn't have that ten years ago.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What do you mean?
David Rossi: Communications coordinator.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You guys can catch up on the jet.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Oh yeah, that'd be great.
David Rossi: The jet?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We have a jet now.
David Rossi: Are you serious?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Oh yeah, it comes in pretty handy.

David Rossi: She's different.
[after Garcia leaves]
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You have no idea.

David Rossi: Now your face is going to be on one of those tapes. When I find it, I'm going to paper the city with it, just like you did with those women. Everyone will see it. They won't be able to ignore you now. But you won't inspire fear, you'll inspire hatred and ridicule because the only power someone like you has is a mask. Once that mask is removed you'll be as insignificant as you've always been. A loser!

David Rossi: His hand needs to be forced.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I know that Dave. The point is you did it by forcing ours.

Erin Strauss: So, you're coming in, in a subordinate position?
David Rossi: Is that a question?
Erin Strauss: The question is why.
David Rossi: To help.
Erin Strauss: Completely selfless act.
David Rossi: That's so hard to believe?
Erin Strauss: Yes.
David Rossi: I missed you too, Erin.

David Rossi: Relax Hotch. I've got this.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: That's the problem, Dave. There is no *I*. We function as a team.

David Rossi: You said out there, team shares everything.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: That's right.
David Rossi: There is no *I*?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Yeah.
David Rossi: It seems a big thing to withhold separating from your wife and child.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What are you talking about?
David Rossi: You used to call Haley ten times a day. We've been together 48 hours and I haven't seen you call her once or mention her. And you're not going home now.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What's your point?
David Rossi: I guess you are not used to sharing.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: My private life is not the same as a case.
David Rossi: I'm just saying, sharing is a learning skill.

Penelope Garcia: [Rossi calls] Speak and be recognized by your empress, mortal!
David Rossi: Is this the technical analyst girl?
Penelope Garcia: Who is this?
David Rossi: Dr. Reid said that this was your direct line from the team.
Penelope Garcia: It is
David Rossi: This is agent Dave Rossi. We met yesterday
Penelope Garcia: Oh, of course, of course. I am sorry, sir.

"Criminal Minds: Zoe's Reprise (#4.15)" (2009)
David Rossi: I think he went back to relive his crime. When Zoe showed up, she became a victim of opportunity.
Aaron Hotchner: That's the same theory we arrived at on the plane. He strangled her with her own scarf. He didn't plan it, I think she surprised him.
David Rossi: I told her not to stop until she found the answers she was looking for. I didn't think she'd go to a crime scene.
Aaron Hotchner: Her mom said it's something that she does all the time. She probably would have gone anyway.
David Rossi: But it's because of what I said that she was encouraged to go there last night.
Aaron Hotchner: Dave, what are you doing?
David Rossi: She came to me and I dismissed her.
Aaron Hotchner: Try not to personalize it.
David Rossi: I was the last one she talked to before she was murdered. How is this not personal, Aaron?

David Rossi: Why do people want to hear me talk about serial killers? Is it that entertaining?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There's a public fascination with them.
David Rossi: Sometimes I wonder if my books are doing more harm than good.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: My senior year at Georgetown, I was graduating and I did not have a clue what I was gonna do with my life. And one day, I was in the campus bookstore and you were there. Promoting your... second book? Sat through your whole talk.
David Rossi: You never told me.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I asked you what it was you were most proud of, and you showed us a picture of a boy from Charleston.
David Rossi: Brent Roberts. A neighbor took him.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: He was found alive. One of the few. That night, I bought your book. Applied to the academy the next fall.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Victim one, Travis Bartlett, was last seen at a gay bar. He was shot at night in a park. Victim two, Lily Nicks, a thirty-four year old prostitute, her throat was slashed. Victims three and four, June Appleby and Troy Wertsler, were shot in their car at a parking lot outside of a movie theater. And victim five was a twenty-eight year old single woman, Kayla James, killed in her home. She was bound, suffocated with a bag over her head, evidence of rape.
Emily Prentiss: And then the sixth victim was Zoe.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Victimology, weapons used, and C.O.D. are all different. I mean, it's hard to imagine it's even the same unsub.
David Rossi: It can't be a coincidence that Zoe goes to Kayla James' house and gets murdered.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, let's say it is the same killer. Does anybody see a pattern?
Emily Prentiss: Well, maybe. Okay, in the first crime, he shoots the victim. The second crime, he rapes a woman and slashes her throat; that's more personal. And the third crime, he escalates to killing two people, and the fourth, he escalates even more by raping a woman, binding her, and suffocating her.
Aaron Hotchner: So if it is the same unsub, you could argue that there's a progression of violence with every kill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It could be an anger excitation offender getting more daring with each crime.
Derek Morgan: I think I got something here. Look at this. The slashes in the prostitute's throat, they're all shallow, unsure cuts. The Kayla James crime scene, telephone cord, rope, and duct tape were used. It's like he couldn't decide how to bind her.
Aaron Hotchner: So without a gun, he's sloppy, inexperienced.
Derek Morgan: The young couple shot in the car... that crime scene remind you of anything?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they were shot with a .44 Bulldog, just like the Son of Sam used on his victims, which were also young couples in parked cars. It might be nothing, but you're right, there is a parallel there.
Emily Prentiss: With the second victim, it's hard not to think of Jack the Ripper. The obvious similarity being it's a prostitute whose throat was slashed.
Aaron Hotchner: Kayla James was bound, tortured, raped, with a plastic bag over her head, like BTK.
Derek Morgan: What about victim number one?
David Rossi: Garcia, what neighborhood was he found in?
Penelope Garcia: At a park in the Kingsbury Run area.
David Rossi: Zoe reminded me last night that Cleveland's most famous serial killer was the Butcher of Kingsbury Run. He found his victims in gay bars, shot them, and dumped their body there. Travis Bartlett was last seen at a gay bar, and his body was found in Kingsbury Park.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So these are copycats of famous serial killers?
David Rossi: He's a serial killer studying serial killers.
Aaron Hotchner: See you in Cleveland, Dave.

David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] "I never teach my pupils, I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn." - Albert Einstein.

David Rossi: [closing quotation, voiceover] Austrian novelist Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach wrote "In youth, we learn. In age, we understand."

[last lines]
Sheila Hawkes: [finding Rossi at Zoe's grave] I hear you caught him.
David Rossi: We did.
Sheila Hawkes: Is he going to prison?
David Rossi: For the rest of his life.
Sheila Hawkes: It doesn't make me feel better. He's alive, Zoe's not. But she'd be pleased that you caught him.
David Rossi: I hope so.

David Rossi: Well, what kind of homicides are we talking about?
Zoe Hawkes: Okay. Um, a man was shot in the park, a prostitute was found with her throat slashed, a couple was found shot in their car, a woman was killed in a burglary
David Rossi: Do you know what three things profilers look at to link serial crimes?
Zoe Hawkes: Victimology, modus operandi and signature
David Rossi: Good! So were the victims similar?
Zoe Hawkes: No
David Rossi: Was the MO consistent?
Zoe Hawkes: No
David Rossi: Was the signature consistent?
Zoe Hawkes: Not that I am aware of
David Rossi: Then there is no obvious reason to suggest that this spike in violence was due to a serial killer

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Showing pictures] This is Henry wearing booties my mom knitted him
Penelope Garcia: I can't get over his cuteness
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Giggles] Oh, and this is him wearing the customized leather jacket aunty Penelope got him
Penelope Garcia: When he grows up he's gonna be a rebel!
[Phone rings]
Penelope Garcia: Is this David Rossi, the famous bestselling author David Rossi?
Derek Morgan: What you're doing? You're not supposed to call when you're on annual leave
David Rossi: I think my AL just ended

"Criminal Minds: Damaged (#3.14)" (2008)
[Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ have arrived to help Rossi on a twenty year old cold case, after he asked them not to]
David Rossi: Why do you care?
Emily Prentiss: Because you do.

David Rossi: Morgan, obsessional crimes are your specialty.
Derek Morgan: Well, there's two kinds of obsessional offenders that would send gifts to survivors. Sadists, who want to make the families keep reliving the crime, or guilt-laden offenders, desperately trying to find some type of way to apologize.
David Rossi: Sadists usually use something they know will remind the family of the person or the crime. Jewelry, newspaper clippings.
Emily Prentiss: These don't look like the kind of things you would send to inflict pain on someone.
David Rossi: So, guilt-laden.
Emily Prentiss: You know, they actually look like the kind of thing a child would send.
Derek Morgan: Okay. Well, it's rare, but an unsub who feels this much guilt sometimes commits the crime unintentionally. They tend to be developmentally disabled, extremely low IQ offender, and generally, well, they're physically large and they're very strong. Strong enough to hurt somebody accidentally.
Emily Prentiss: Like Lennie in "Of Mice and Men".

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "Within the core of each of us is the child we once were. This child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be." - Neuroscientist Dr. R. Joseph.

David Rossi: I was here on a serial rapist in '88. It was pretty short work. The guy wasn't gonna win any IQ contests. The day after we, uh, collared him, a local detective was driving me to the airport, and, um, he hears a call on his walkie of kids screaming in a house not far from where we were. He asks if I mind taking the job in with him. We were first on the scene. Inside we found...
Derek Morgan: [placing the case file on the table] Found this.
David Rossi: The ax had been left behind, but it had been wiped clean. It turns out it belonged to the family. The, uh, oldest daughter, Connie, told me her father bought it on Christmas Eve a few months earlier, to cut down the Christmas tree. Now I, uh, always associate the whole thing with Christmas. Never been able to put a tree up myself again.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he... he never hurt the kids at all?
David Rossi: Not physically.
Derek Morgan: But he would have known that the kids were in the house.
David Rossi: He only hurt the parents and then left.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so using a weapon he found at the scene and not eliminating all of the potential witnesses, that makes him disorganized.
Derek Morgan: But he left no evidence, which suggests he's organized.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There was a fingerprint.
David Rossi: But it was behind the bedroom door. I don't even think he knew it was there. There should have been prints in other places, but they were wiped clean. An open back door, a... a drinking glass left in the kitchen. And that one good print... was not a match anywhere. I've been over this a million times. I... I keep thinking if there was just one more piece, one more thing to go on. The answer was right in front of me.
Emily Prentiss: He might be dead.
David Rossi: I have to be sure.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, if he's dead, you may never really know.
David Rossi: When we arrived on the scene... before any of the other units got there, I could hear them... before I even got out of the car. It was a warm morning and the, um, the windows were open in the upstairs bedroom. And their voices... floated out into the street. They were crying and calling for their mommy and daddy. Three terrified children screaming for their murdered parents. I've seen so much death and pain, but that sound... it's been twenty years and I can still hear them screaming every night... crying. If I can't tell them for sure that whoever's responsible will never do it again... that screaming might never stop.

David Rossi: Hi, Connie. I brought the team with...
Connie Galen: You need to stop this.
David Rossi: Excuse me?
Connie Galen: We thought that if we didn't call you back the last couple times, you would just give up and leave us alone.
David Rossi: I know that it hurts, but I'm only trying to make sure someone pays for your parents' deaths.
Connie Galen: We don't care anymore. It's been twenty years! We need to be able to move past it. Please!
David Rossi: I won't bother you kids again.
Connie Galen: And you'll stop it with the gifts, too?
David Rossi: Gifts?
Connie Galen: What are we suppose to do with... a bunch of toys that remind us of the worst day of our lives?
David Rossi: I never sent you any gifts.

David Rossi: Where're my notes, my original crime scene notes?
Penelope Garcia: Again, sorry, you didn't ask for that specific you used...
David Rossi: I have to say how to look for everything? What kind of a researcher are you?
Penelope Garcia: I'm not a researcher, I'm a technical analyst.
David Rossi: What the hell does that even mean?
Kevin Lynch: [coming in] You left the middle of my back totally unloofahed.

Penelope Garcia: [Shower runs, knocks on the door] There is no acceptable excuse for violence, but for you I am making an exception!
[opens door]
Penelope Garcia: Oh my God! Agent Rossi
David Rossi: This can't be everything
Penelope Garcia: I'm sorry sir
David Rossi: This is not everything
[walks into her house]
Penelope Garcia: I was taking a sh... your're coming in

Kevin Lynch: Agent Rossi? We need to talk, about Penelope, man to man
David Rossi: Man to man
[both walk away]
Derek Morgan: What about Penelope?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [singing] She and Kevin sitting in a tree...
[turns around and walks away]
Derek Morgan: Get out of here! Are you serious?
[joins JJ]
Emily Prentiss: Just when I thought nothing scandalous was every gonna happen around here
Dr. Spencer Reid: What? What does that mean?
Emily Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That song meant something? No! No I missed it
Emily Prentiss: It... it... You know what, never mind
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks around bewildered] What?

"Criminal Minds: Divining Rod (#7.21)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: What do we got, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma. And not... the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now. I'm talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett.
Aaron Hotchner: A neighbor saw her front door open and discovered the body.
David Rossi: Look familiar?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Young, pretty, short blonde hair.
David Rossi: And stabbed directly through the heart.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's exactly the way Garrett killed his victims.
Derek Morgan: So are we looking at a copycat?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Or someone creating doubt the right person was executed.
David Rossi: In Garrett's case, there was no doubt. His guilt was the slam dunk of all slam dunks. Prints, DNA, a confession.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He even led police to where he buried two of his victims.
Emily Prentiss: Garrett killed twenty-five women before he was caught. If this new unsub is a copycat, body count's just started.

Emily Prentiss: Hotch, I think I found her.
Aaron Hotchner: You're on speaker, Prentiss.
Emily Prentiss: The unsub must have circled back. He dumped her just outside the perimeter of the abduction site.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Same M.O.?
Emily Prentiss: No, she's got stab wounds all over her torso. It's bad. And Hotch, this time he removed her scalp.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Overkill. He must be enraged he wasn't able to carry the murder out as planned.
David Rossi: So now we might have another problem. If our unsub's blueprint is out the window, this may transition him into a spree killer.

Emily Prentiss: [browsing through mail Garrett received in prison] Get a load of this one. "Dear Mr. Garrett, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Most people are cowards and don't do what they feel inside them. You are an inspiration, and I applaud you."
Emily Prentiss: "I applaud you."
David Rossi: These are supposed to be the non-wacko letters.
Penelope Garcia: Hey, guess what? JJ's genius has struck again. That hunch about the hair was right. I'm sending you an ATM image of Cara Smith. She's the first victim. This was taken ten hours before her murder. Check it.
Detective Childers: The unsub cut her hair, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, there could be a sexual element involved. Trichophilia is a fetish where one becomes aroused by the removal of hair.
Derek Morgan: Well either way, it's starting to look less like a copycat. The unsub's deviating too much from Garrett's M.O. Garrett never took trophies.

Emily Prentiss: He started killing shortly after you were married?
Helen Garrett: Yeah.
David Rossi: And you never suspected this other life he was leading?
Helen Garrett: No. People only see what they want to see, I guess.
Emily Prentiss: Where will you go now, Helen?
Helen Garrett: Put in for a transfer for a job in Missouri. Don't know anybody there; people don't know me. It's a fresh start.
David Rossi: What about family?
Helen Garrett: My family don't want to know me. They couldn't understand why I'd stand by Rod after everything that he done. As far as they're concerned, I'm just as bad as him.

Emily Prentiss: You remember when people used to write letters by hand?
David Rossi: That's how I wrote my first book. Give me a keyboard any day.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, come on, Rossi. The excitement of seeing an envelope from a friend in your mailbox? Now it's just an electronic ding on your computer.
David Rossi: One of my various brothers-in-law was a mailman. He said the expression "going postal" made perfect sense to him. You spend all day delivering a mountain of letters one at a time. Then you go to work the next morning, and there's a whole new mountain to deal with. And it's forever.
Emily Prentiss: That sounds like our job. It took seven years for the world to get rid of Rod Garrett and fifteen minutes after, a new one pops up to take his place.

Derek Morgan: Hey, say it like you mean it, baby.
Penelope Garcia: Yon know, I'm gonna. So, if you look in the dictionary, the word "normal," you will see Cara Smith. College student, well-liked, straight A's, English lit. major. Speaking of which, I just got a transcript of Rodney Garrett's last words, hot off the press, and a gold star to the first person who can identify the source of this. "She comes like fullest moon on happy night. Taper of waist..."
Dr. Spencer Reid: "With shape of magic might." It's from *The Thousand and One Nights*. Not the exact translation that I would have used, but it's got its own merits.
Emily Prentiss: And in a shocking non-upset, we have a winner.
David Rossi: Garrett was sixth-grade dropout. An unlikely guy to be quoting from a Harvard Classic.

David Rossi: I never could do that.
Emily Prentiss: Do what?
David Rossi: Take a nap. Never felt natural.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm actually wide awake, but for future reference, polyphasic sleep is completely natural, quite common in the animal world, and highly beneficial.

Penelope Garcia: Oh, hey, guys. Hey. I just wanted to see what's going on. Hi, hello.
Emily Prentiss: This better be important, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, it's nothing. It's just that a messenger came by the office today with some papers from escrow!
Emily Prentiss: No!
Penelope Garcia: Oh, yes. The house in Dupont Circle. You got it!
Aaron Hotchner: Congratulations!
David Rossi: [sees Prentiss's smile fades] Six seconds. Fastest case of buyer's remorse ever.

"Criminal Minds: Limelight (#3.13)" (2008)
David Rossi: When I interviewed Bundy, he had a theory about pornography. He said "If you wanna stop people from becoming like me, don't burn 'Catcher in the Rye'."

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "I know indeed what evil I intend to do. But stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury. Fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils." - Euripides.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] "For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world, and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won." - Lucille Maud Montgomery.

Aaron Hotchner: With four known victims, we should start by re-interviewing friends and family. We're looking for a white male in his thirties to forties. And with his knowledge of circuitry and wiring, we think that he's either an electrician or an electrical engineer.
David Rossi: It's a job that may give him access to a victim's home or workplace, the opportunity to observe his targets.
Emily Prentiss: They're attractive, professional women. He sees them as strong, righteous, unobtainable. So he seeks to tear them down, to reduce them to base sexual creatures and punish them.
Aaron Hotchner: He's a true sexual sadist. A typology we refer to as anger-excitation, meaning he becomes sexually aroused by the suffering of his victims.
David Rossi: Killing these women is an afterthought. Their pain is what he's after. And he takes his time, to exact maximum stimulation.
Philly Agent: What about his trophies? He keeps their clothes, right?
Emily Prentiss: Yes. We believe he's using them for rehearsal fantasies. By dressing as his victims, he can relive the torture. It's during this time that he most likely pleasures himself in order to reinforce his association between suffering and gratification.
Aaron Hotchner: And when he becomes dissatisfied with this, he seeks out a new victim.
David Rossi: Keep in mind he's been this for a long time, and he's been thinking about doing it most of his life. He'll continue to evolve, finding new ways of challenging himself, increasing his stimulation threshold. There are no boundaries for this man.

Jill Morris: David Rossi in my office. Somebody, pinch me.
David Rossi: You must be Agent Morris.
Jill Morris: Jill, please. Can I take you anything? Coffee?
David Rossi: Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like for Dr. Reid and I to get to this.
Jill Morris: Dr. Reid. Thank you both for coming. You won't be disappointed.

Aaron Hotchner: It's unacceptable behavior. Why do you keep defending her?
David Rossi: Because I know what she is. She is me, twenty years ago.
Aaron Hotchner: She is nothing like you, Dave.
David Rossi: Come on Hotch, I know what people think. I took serial killer's mass market. Now everyone knows their names, but not the victims, right? Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it. I can't go back and change it. But it's not too late for her.

Jill Morris: So you've come to say goodbye
David Rossi: I'm afraid so. We've got real cases in Quantico, cases with bodies.
Jill Morris: But if I am right about this thing, there will be plenty of those
David Rossi: It was nice meeting you
[turns around and leaves the room]
Jill Morris: There was something else in the boxes. In eyes of the predator, you wrote that collection of integumentary items is definite precursor: skin, nails... hair. This guy is for real!
David Rossi: I'll call my team. We've got work to do!
Jill Morris: Great

"Criminal Minds: Remembrance of Things Past (#6.3)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, what's in the box?
David Rossi: Evil.

David Rossi: [voiceover] Marcel Proust wrote: "Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were."

David Rossi: [voiceover] Mark Twain wrote: "When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not. But my faculties are decaying now, and soon I shall be so I cannot remember anything but the things that never happened." "It is sad to go to pieces like this, but we all have to do it."

David Rossi: [receiving a phone call from Hotch] I hope you want me to come in. I mean, between writer's block and my neighbor's construction, I'm going crazy here.

David Rossi: Did your fiancée say anything that sounded out of the ordinary?
Michael Young: No. She sounded like herself, considering the circumstances.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You say that her lexical features are consistent with her vernacular?
Michael Young: Huh?
David Rossi: Are the words hers?

David Rossi: Seventeen years ago he sounded like background noise, but when I digitized them, you could hear every word.
Lee Mullens: [recoded voice] Yes, she did. She's dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's stunningly creepy.
David Rossi: I never caught The Butcher, but I caught his voice.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Everything in the house is labeled. Drawers, the refrigerator. I found Donepezil and flashcards in the medicine cabinet.
David Rossi: Donepezil? Alzheimer's?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. It improves acetylcholine, either by increasing levels of it in the brain or enhancing nerve cells' response to it.

"Criminal Minds: Dorado Falls (#7.3)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone; only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for a moment that we're not alone." ~~ Orson Welles

State Trooper Brian Long: We've located John Owen, the missing employee. He's been at a *Doctor Who* convention in San Diego since Saturday. It was a scheduled vacation.
David Rossi: Lucky guy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'll say. That's supposed to be an awesome convention.

David Rossi: [phone rings] Hello?
Luke Dolan: Is this Sergeant Major Rossi?
David Rossi: Yes, I was hoping you'd call, Luke. Where are you?
Luke Dolan: Right behind you.

David Rossi: All right. Luke, you don't want to be aiming that around. Snipers have the building covered.
Derek Morgan: You're in the crosshairs right now, I can guarantee that.
Luke Dolan: Windows are bulletproof. High-density Lexan, right?

David Rossi: One thing that's been bothering me is the first victim, Adam Werner, was given the Navy Cross in 2000.
Aaron Hotchner: We weren't at war.
David Rossi: Exactly. You have to show extreme sacrifice, risk life and limb to win the second highest medal of valor. So what did he do during peacetime to deserve it?

Jennifer Jareau: So, Garcia discovered part of Dolan's military records were encrypted. I just got the complete file from the Pentagon; he wasn't a clerk, he was a Navy SEAL.
David Rossi: Well, let me guess: Adam Werner was, too.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, Werner was the SEAL team leader, Dolan was his number two. Their unit was part of JSOC; they were involved in over twenty highly classified missions.
David Rossi: Which missions were in 2000?
Jennifer Jareau: Uh... only one, Operation Dorado Falls.
David Rossi: See what you can find out about it.
Jennifer Jareau: Will do.
Aaron Hotchner: That changes the profile.
David Rossi: Definitely.
Jennifer Jareau: How so?
David Rossi: Navy SEALs are screened carefully for vulnerability to PTSD; they're resistant to it.
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, so why would a trained Navy SEAL kill his commanding officer and his own parents?
Aaron Hotchner: I don't know, but it's gonna be a lot harder to find him.
David Rossi: Very few people on this planet are capable of stopping him.

"Criminal Minds: Lucky (#3.8)" (2007)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Bridgewater, Florida. Local girl, Abbey Kelton, nineteen, left her parents' home to go the local junior college. She never came home. Three days later, joggers found her - part of her - in a nearby park.
Emily Prentiss: What did that to her?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Bridgewater's off of I-75, which is often referred to as "Alligator Alley", for reasons that are now apparent. Everything below the waist had been eaten.
David Rossi: Ah, the circle of life.
Emily Prentiss: Suddenly, I don't feel so guilty about my alligator wallet.

David Rossi: [about Feylinn] Blaming the devil for his cannibalism wasn't enough to lessen his guilt, so he tricked others into participating. He made them all as guilty as he was.
Derek Morgan: He caught every break possible, Rossi. Gets released from the hospital. His records get destroyed. Gets pulled over with a victim in the trunk of his car, and they let him go. I've never seen anyone that lucky.
David Rossi: What's your point?
Derek Morgan: You've been doin' this a long time. You've seen a lot of things. You think it's possible Feylinn would... I don't know. That he was getting some kind of help from something else?
David Rossi: It's irrelevant. The job is to find evil, to stop it, not to know where it came from. Let somebody else take that job. This one's tough enough.

David Rossi: You know, Reid was right.
Derek Morgan: About?
David Rossi: If you believe in one, you have to believe in the other.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So killer satanic cults don't exist, but satanic serial killers do?
David Rossi: 'Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch'intrate'
[walks out the door]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Huh, thanks for clearing that up
Dr. Spencer Reid: Eh, it's from Dante's Inferno: abandon hope all he who enter here
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So that was a "yes"?
Aaron Hotchner: A big "yes"

David Rossi: We never found any evidence of a killer satanic cult! In reality there are only two types of violent satanic criminals
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, type one: teens Satanists, assume satanic identity to rebel. Minor crimes, theft and vandalism, to churches, schools, symbols of authority. When combined with drugs and alcohol, they may turn violent
David Rossi: Yes, in extreme cases, deadly... That was out of my book, word for word!
Derek Morgan: Oh, trust us: we know!

Derek Morgan: Rossi? Do me a favor, you talk to the priest all right?
David Rossi: You rather interview the grieving parents on the worst day of their lives than the priest?
Derek Morgan: If it is all right with you, yeah!

"Criminal Minds: Out of the Light (#6.22)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Agathon said: "Of this alone, even God is deprived - the power of making things that are past never to have been."

David Rossi: How was your weekend?
Aaron Hotchner: Good. Jack had two soccer games yesterday.
David Rossi: They win?
Aaron Hotchner: Oh, we don't keep score in Jack's age group.
David Rossi: That bad, huh?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Autopsy report revealed fragments of glass in some of Angela's wounds.
Aaron Hotchner: Were they able to identify the blades used?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Only that there were a number of them.
David Rossi: The doctor mentioned she had heavy metals in her blood.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, the highest one being lead.
Derek Morgan: Well, add that to the unique patterns of her wounds and the glass in her cuts. Maybe this guy worked with stained glass. Talbot had stained glass in his front door.
Ashley Seaver: The Owens had stained glass window chimes in their condo.
David Rossi: Lead fumes can get into your system during the soldering process.
[Seaver gives Rossi a weird glance]
David Rossi: What? My second wife was crafty.

Aaron Hotchner: And now they've asked me to coach.
David Rossi: You're kidding. Why'd they ask you?
Aaron Hotchner: Focus.
David Rossi: Don't doubt that.
Aaron Hotchner: You can't get half the parents to look up from their phones during the game. At least I participate.
David Rossi: It's not like you're too busy.

David Rossi: What have you got?
Derek Morgan: It looks like this guy Talbot had another hobby. The girls in these photos can't be more than 16 years old.
David Rossi: Photos? Morgan, how many are there?
Derek Morgan: I'm thinking 30, 40.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Fifty-four.
Derek Morgan: Excuse me. That's 54.

David Rossi: I know you're gonna do that coaching thing. So, I thought maybe this might help.
Aaron Hotchner: Soccer formations?
David Rossi: I'm Italian.
Aaron Hotchner: [loughs] You've been holding out on me... I could use an assistant.
David Rossi: How early do they start their games?
Aaron Hotchner: Early... Thanks.

"Criminal Minds: Hero Worship (#10.14)" (2015)
Dr. Spencer Reid: What are you doing?
David Rossi: Moving my rook.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you even know how to play chess?
David Rossi: Who do you think Gideon played with before he met you?

David Rossi: [*seeing Reid is playing chess with himself*] Again?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh - it helps me focus.
David Rossi: You know, in light of recent events, I think it's ok to give yourself a break.
David Rossi: An entire night, though.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What do you mean?
David Rossi: You're wearing the same shirt from yesterday, and you're covering it with a cardigan from your go bag.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Guess I must have gotten a little carried away last night.
David Rossi: Well, it happens.

David Rossi: Reid? Are you working late?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Just, ah, waiting for rushhour to subside. A lot of close personal contact on the subway right now
David Rossi: It's 10 o'clock, trains have been empty for a while! Go home! The chess will keep till tomorrow

David Rossi: Eh, Einstein?
Dylan Einstein: Huh, bet you don't ever forget it!
David Rossi: You're kind of young to be a forensic specialist, aren't you?
Dylan Einstein: Finished medical school at 19 and then residency afterwards. My dad really wanted me to live up to the family name

David Rossi: I can't believe you've got the major to do this
Aaron Hotchner: Once we apprehend this guy, it will all have been his idea
David Rossi: Ah! Now it makes sense!
[Major walks towards them]
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you for agreeing to help us
Mayor: I just hope you're right, otherwise I'm going to look bad! And I'll make sure you do to!
[Major leaves]
David Rossi: And now I remember why I didn't go into politics

David Rossi: You're ever going to finish this game?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a tough one. Playing yourself can be difficult
David Rossi: Playing a ghost even more so! He's gone Spencer. Keeping the game going won't change that
Dr. Spencer Reid: I know. I just thought that... maybe I can keep part of him alive if his last game never ended
David Rossi: Neither side will ever win playing like this
Dr. Spencer Reid: He hated goodbyes
David Rossi: Gideon also hated unfinished business, so let's finish it!

"Criminal Minds: Penelope (#3.9)" (2007)
Aaron Hotchner: So, victimology. Why Garcia?
David Rossi: Look at her.
Aaron Hotchner: What are you saying?
David Rossi: You don't look like that by accident. She wears her individuality like a shield.

David Rossi: You look like crap.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, four days, no leads. I feel like crap.

Kevin Lynch: Wow!
David Rossi: What is it?
Kevin Lynch: This system is insane! It's completely Linux based. Open Source programming! You don't see this in government systems, I mean outside like Switzerland

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: What's Hotch doing?
David Rossi: My guess is, wishing anybody else was the leader of this team.

David Rossi: All right, let's cut the crap! You need to be straight with us. Right now. Look at me, not them!
Penelope Garcia: I am not hiding anything...
David Rossi: You got shot! Most people get shot for a reason!
[Garcia looks around]
David Rossi: Eyes here!
Derek Morgan: Ease up Rossi!
David Rossi: You got a room full of people here, willing to believe that an FBI agent is trying to kill you! We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!
Derek Morgan: Come on, man!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad...
David Rossi: What? Spit it out!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad! It's just... I council victim's families and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask to look into their cases for them.
David Rossi: What does that mean?
Penelope Garcia: Just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever investigates them knows that the FBI considers them a priority.
Aaron Hotchner: You're not authorized to do that.
Penelope Garcia: I know! I was just trying to help.

"Criminal Minds: Public Enemy (#5.15)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy. -F. Scott Fitzgerald.

David Rossi: [voiceover] William Shakespeare wrote: When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

David Rossi: [talking with Father Kendellen] I don't like to see crime tape in front of church doors. I can't imagine how you feel.

Derek Morgan: [reviewing the case file] Aside from m.o., victimology's all over the place. It's like this guy doesn't care who he's killing, just how.
David Rossi: And he's doing it in public without compunction for who sees him.
Aaron Hotchner: Do we have a sketch?
Jennifer Jareau: All anyone can agree on is that it's a white male between 25 and 40.
Emily Prentiss: Well, that narrows it down to all of Providence.
David Rossi: Hard to fault the witnesses, given how bloody these murders must be.
Derek Morgan: What bothers me is the cooling-off period is getting shorter and shorter, but no attempt to hide who he is or what he's doing. I mean, an unsub this bold could be suffering from a major psychotic break.
Jennifer Jareau: I already asked Detective Moreland to pull recent releases on prisons and mental hospitals.
Aaron Hotchner: We need to get to Providence ASAP. Whether he's suffering a psychotic break or not, this could be the start of a spree.
David Rossi: And anyone is a potential target.

Aaron Hotchner: We suggest that you think of this unsub not as a slasher but as an arsonist. Because the gratification he's getting isn't from the physical act of murder, but from the public's reaction to it.
Emily Prentiss: Arsonists draw attention to themselves through the fires they set. The locations they choose are highly symbolic to them. While this unsub will never set an actual fire, he has the same psychosis as one who does.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our unsub fits that model. His locations have been pillars of the community. The victims he picks aren't as important as the effect of killing them outside of your favorite restaurant or place of worship.
Derek Morgan: By picking locales with the highest visibility, he's creating the highest level of fear in that neighborhood, which reinforces his feeling of power.
Detective Jake Moreland: Yeah, but arsonists don't set out to hurt people. This guy clearly does.
Derek Morgan: That's true. And this unsub definitely falls in the category of sociopath.
Emily Prentiss: His victims are there only to achieve his goal. He doesn't have the ability to empathize with them. To him, they're just... tools for him to use, no different than a can of gasoline and a match.
David Rossi: But even how he kills tells us something. Slashing a throat is a messy, visual act. It's designed to create attention, just like a fire.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Arsonists are often mission based. They need to make sure their first fire has burnt out before they set another one. They're also highly disciplined and focused. If conditions aren't right to set a fire or, in this case, slash a throat, they'll move on.
Aaron Hotchner: In addition to his need to kill, he has self-control. He has a short cooling off period because he's enjoying what he's doing. This in turn feeds his ego and keeps him covering his tracks.
David Rossi: This makes him even more dangerous. If he gets frustrated, encounters too many obstacles, or suffers a blow to his narcissistic ego, he could go on an all-out rampage.

"Criminal Minds: Breath Play (#10.17)" (2015)
David Rossi: What? I dabbled in my senior year.
Kate Callahan: Oh... college.
David Rossi: Oh... high school.

David Rossi: [opening quote] "There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror" - W. Somerset Maugham

Dr. Spencer Reid: How long was it before the start of the bruising and the kill?
Dr. Paul Stumpo: Roughly 6 hours
David Rossi: Nobody has sex for 6 straight hours, not even Sting!

Penelope Garcia: [Rossi calls her] I am yours, give it to me! Wait! Sir, I meant that in the "how can help you?"-way, not in the... 'cause you're super lovely! And I am on speaker, aren't I?
David Rossi: Garcia, what can you tell us about the romance novel Bare Reflections?
Penelope Garcia: I can tell you it's very popular. And let me see, typing and checking and typing and... it is way more popular than I thought

Detective Angela Pierce: Where does he find somebody like-minded?
Dr. Spencer Reid: In Bare Reflection, Carson Bare takes Amber to an event called a munch
Detective Angela Pierce: Which is?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Rossi takes out his cell phone and starts typing] According to the book it's a social gathering of people interested in BDSM
Detective Angela Pierce: Where the heck do you find that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We should call Garcia
David Rossi: [showing his phone] I've found one.

"Criminal Minds: Big Sea (#6.23)" (2011)
David, Rossi: [voiceover] The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness. -Joseph Conrad

David, Rossi: Some years back, Morgan's cousin fled a stalker. She made it to South Carolina. She was never seen or heard from again.
Ashley Seaver: Was it the stalker?
David, Rossi: He killed himself two weeks later, so we never found out for sure. But Morgan's profile led straight to him. So whenever unidentified female remains turn up, he gets that call.

David, Rossi: Think it's time to rethink Cindi?
Derek Morgan: Rossi, the only connection right now is Charleston. It's weak.
David, Rossi: Victim number five is an African-American woman in her twenties who died in 2004. That's not weak.
David, Rossi: My aunt has spent years obsessing over Cindi's last few hours. She doesn't go out. She doesn't sleep. She forgets to take her medication. It's killing her, Rossi.
David, Rossi: It hasn't been easy for you, either.
Derek Morgan: But everything I've learned as a profiler has taught me that it's not about what I want to be true. It's about what I can prove.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't think this was written under duress. You said Dr. Cormick wasn't taking medication for Parkinson's, right? Look at her handwriting. No indication of tremors or shaking. There's a drug called trilamide. In minute doses it treats Parkinson's, but its main use is for seasickness.
David, Rossi: Something a fisherman would have access to.
Derek Morgan: And criminals in South America. Intel reports say they figured out a high dose makes a victim totally compliant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they slip it in your drink or blow the powder in your face and nasodermal absorption's almost immediate. You're instantaneously susceptible to any suggestion. There have been reports of locals letting thugs into their apartments to rob them, even helping them load the getaway trucks.

Blake Wells: [Morgan shows Cindi's photo] I didn't dump her there, did I? She means something to you, doesn't she?
Derek Morgan: They're all special to me, Blake. If you can't remember her, we can just move on.
Blake Wells: I do remember her. You want to know, Agent Morgan, who she cried out for right before I made her slice her own throat?
Derek Morgan: Go ahead. Tell me.
Blake Wells: You. She cried out for you. Where were you when she bled out on the floor of my boat?
Derek Morgan: You're a sick son of a bitch. But you didn't kill her.
Blake Wells: I did kill her.
Derek Morgan: No. You didn't. And I was very clear about the rules. Deal's off.
[Morgan leaves the room]
Blake Wells: I did kill her. You said you wanted to learn from me, and now you won't listen! Hey, come back here! Agent Morgan! I did kill her!
David, Rossi: How'd you know?
Derek Morgan: He knows his victims' names. He didn't know Cindi's.
Blake Wells: Agent Morgan, you get back here!

"Criminal Minds: Proof (#7.2)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Scott Adams wrote, "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."

[the team is still in shock Prentiss is alive]
David Rossi: How's Reid?
Aaron Hotchner: He's angry and frustrated. I'm surprised everybody isn't.
David Rossi: Ah, some of us had an inkling.
[Hotch gives Rossi a surprised look]
David Rossi: What? I'm good at what I do.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, you can be honest. I can take it.
David Rossi: Okay, I prefer my pasta al dente, and the pancetta was a little weird.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, that's 'cause it's tofu.
David Rossi: Tofu? I give you my recipe and you do an improv?
Penelope Garcia: No, no. I followed it down to the micron, aside from the pig. Look, master of all things Italian, I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend, and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.
David Rossi: Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.
Derek Morgan: You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like... That would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house.
David Rossi: I don't have a house, I have a mansion.
Aaron Hotchner: All right. Let's get started.

David Rossi: So, are you gonna get psychological counseling for the team or handle it internally?
Aaron Hotchner: No, I think that if we all just got together, maybe a cooking lesson at the home of one of our founders...
David Rossi: Oh, no, not you, too.
Aaron Hotchner: It could boost morale.
David Rossi: Is this an order?
Aaron Hotchner: No, it's just a very tempered suggestion.
David Rossi: Tempered suggestion.
[Hotch smiles]

[last lines]
David Rossi: Cooking is the most sensual art form. And these are my paints.
Penelope Garcia: So your hands must be brushes.
David Rossi: Don't interrupt. In a pot of boiling water, we cook our spaghetti until it's al dente, firm to the tooth. Here you go. Everybody pass it around. See? Feel the texture. There we go. Okay. Now, in a large pan, we fry up our pancetta. Keeping a sharp eye that the edges are crisp.
Aaron Hotchner: But careful not to burn the onions.
David Rossi: Bravo, Aaron! We sauté until translucence.
Derek Morgan: [hearing ding-dong] I got it.
David Rossi: Grazie mille!
[seeing JJ raises the glass to her lips, puts up a hand to stop her]
David Rossi: Oh! Now, we mix in the eggs, the parmesan, the spaghetti and parsley. You see, it's all about timing and rhythm. And if you don't feel yourself doing it properly, please, order a pizza.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I'm late.
David Rossi: Yeah. And this is why I cook alone.
Emily Prentiss: So, when do we get to drink the wine?
David Rossi: Almost there. Okay. We start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [holding the glass] Okay now?
David Rossi: Now. Salute!
[everybody's "Salute!" follows]

"Criminal Minds: Epilogue (#7.6)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable." ~~ Erich Fromm

David Rossi: [voiceover] "The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it." ~~ Mary Catherine Bateson

Jennifer Jareau: Now, that I noticed.
Derek Morgan: Is something going on?
Emily Prentiss: How did it go the other night?
Derek Morgan: What happened the other night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You okay?
David Rossi: Well, why wouldn't I be?
Jennifer Jareau: You seem distracted.
David Rossi: I'm considering a purchase.
Derek Morgan: Come on, now, Rossi, you know we're not buying that. What's really going on?
David Rossi: Look, it was a late night with Ringo and not enough coffee. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in Rock Band.
Jennifer Jareau: All right, what do you think?
Emily Prentiss: He could be telling the truth. I only played him to the easy level.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't tell.
David Rossi: And you never will.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Let's get started.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm a man of science. I didn't know how to deal with it. There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What if this UnSub has had a similar experience and this is his way of looking for answers?
David Rossi: If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd? Why not just talk to him?
Emily Prentiss: He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before.
Jennifer Jareau: Once isn't enough?
Emily Prentiss: Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the UnSub did. He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that. Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You actually died?
Derek Morgan: All right, but resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment of so-called death.
David Rossi: Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Keep them dead longer.

Emily Prentiss: I take it that wasn't Ringo inviting you to another party on the phone yesterday.
David Rossi: It was Carolyn. She has ALS.
Emily Prentiss: [exhales sharply] Phew. Rossi, I'm... what do you need?
David Rossi: It's not what I need, Emily. It's what she's asking me to do. The disease is acting quickly. Carolyn is already suffering, and she doesn't want to go out that way. She wants to die on her own terms. And when this case is over and we get back, she asked if I would help her do it.
Emily Prentiss: [stunned] What are you gonna do?
David Rossi: I don't have a choice.

"Criminal Minds: The Slave of Duty (#5.10)" (2009)
David Rossi: Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You know, I may have the tools to do this job, but I don't know if I have the tools to help my son.
David Rossi: You have to ask yourself, what kind of father you want to be, and when you figure that out, then you'll know what to do.

David Rossi: [finding evidence at Belser's apartment] Look at these.
Derek Morgan: Garage door openers?
David Rossi: Universal garage door openers. This solves the problem of having to copy a key. Some drivers are smart enough to use a valet key, but no one thinks to take a garage door opener with them.
Emily Prentiss: That's how he got into Melissa Johnson's house. We only found prints on the interior garage door. We thought it was from when he moved the dog into the garage.
David Rossi: People rarely think to lock a door that lies beyond another locked door.

[last lines]
David Rossi: [finding Hotch at Haley's grave] I had a feeling I'd find you here. Have you told her yet?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Told her what?
David Rossi: That you're coming back to the team. That fighting the bad guys is who you are.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I don't have to tell her. She already knows.

David Rossi: We believe our unsub is already with his next victim. If he matches pattern, she'll be a successful woman, probably brunette, early 30s to mid-40s. She'll be at home in Nashville's upper echelon.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This means that he fits in. He drives the right car, he wears the right clothes, he's highly intelligent, and probably comes from a place of status.
Derek Morgan: This guy's sociable, and he's endearing. You would never suspect that this man is capable of murder. But he will do whatever it takes to protect the fantasy that he's trying to relive.
David Rossi: It's this fantasy which fuels his drive. He's recreating a romantic evening, repeating it with each of his victims.
Derek Morgan: He most likely recently had a relationship taken away from him. So look at men who have lost loved ones or gone through a messy divorce.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Like Bundy, these women are representations of that first loss. Uh... Bundy picked victims who had similar features to the woman that abandoned him, and we believe that our unsub is doing the exact same thing.
Emily Prentiss: These women were confident, successful, and strong, and they fought back. Which means he has the ability to overpower them fairly easily.
David Rossi: He believes, or fantasizes, he's in a relationship with these women. No matter how fleeting the initial interaction is, it's everything to him, an invitation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our technical analyst has compiled a list of locations that the victims visited prior to their death. These are high-class establishments. We're going to want to visit the same places.
Derek Morgan: So look for men who fit the profile, but also women who match victimology. If somebody's been paying a little too much attention to them, talk to them. Get a read, then jot their name down so that we can check them out.
Det. Landon Kaminski: All right, folks, pick up your canvassing assignments and get to work.

"Criminal Minds: Fate (#10.9)" (2014)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future" - John F. Kennedy

David Rossi: [closing quote] "When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn and where we end up is really in fact where we always intended to be" - Julia Glass

Joy Struthers: [while lowering her car window] Hey
David Rossi: [gives coffee] I thought you might need this. Yesterday when I saw that you were following me I thought it had to be a coincidence but by today... hmm... probably not
Joy Struthers: It's a long story
David Rossi: Well, I am a writer, I hate the short ones! So what are you, a PI?
Joy Struthers: Yeah, you can call me that, sure
David Rossi: Who do you work for?
Joy Struthers: I can't say, my client is very secretive
David Rossi: Well, you can't be with the IRS, my accountant would have called.
Joy Struthers: Look...
David Rossi: Can't be with the State Department: a spy would know better that to leave her target's dossier on the front seat!
Joy Struthers: Yeah, right
[and moves the dossier to the car floor]
David Rossi: And I know you don't work for my cigar guy because he makes all of his deliveries straight to my door. So why don't you tell whoever it is that if they want to discuss something, they should get out of the sandbox and call me themselves!
Joy Struthers: Got it
David Rossi: Now, most people would ask for their coffee back, but being a gentleman... c'est la vie! Oh, and uh, get yourself an earpiece! Those things will give you brain cancer!

David Rossi: [On the phone] Penelope? I need you to get some in tell
Penelope Garcia: Oh, like Nancy Drew style or Jason Bourne? Or I can do a ratio, I can do like 27% Nancy, 53% Jason, and...
David Rossi: Well, whatever you think is appropriate! I am being followed
Penelope Garcia: What? Like a stalker?
David Rossi: No, PI. I just got to find out who she's working for. Maybe someone I put away or could be a crazy fan
Penelope Garcia: OMG! You're the groupie! You're officially a rock star!
David Rossi: Yeah, right!

David Rossi: I tried that once! The woman left her scripts all over my house
Kate Callahan: Wait! She broke in?
David Rossi: 6 times!
Kate Callahan: Where is she now?
David Rossi: She's doing 5 to 10.
Kate Callahan: Oh, classy!

"Criminal Minds: Nelson's Sparrow (#10.13)" (2015)
David Rossi: The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. Harriet Beecher Stowe.

David Rossi: [seeing a car approach the scene] Who's that?
Aaron Hotchner: [recognizing Gideon's son] Stephen.
David Rossi: Oh, my god. He's not a kid anymore.

David Rossi: [about Gideon to his son, Steven] He was brilliant at his job because of you. He wanted your world to be as great as he knew *you* would be.

David Rossi: Is this how it's gonna go? My friends dying off? First Erin, then Harrison and now Jason. Disease is one thing but... murder?
Aaron Hotchner: I haven't talked to him in years
David Rossi: Me neither. How does that happen? Back in the day, I would have bet my life that we'd always be close, but maybe we never were

Dr. Spencer Reid: I have never been in this building
David Rossi: No need to. It was the bomb shelter back in the day. I am sure we can find something dehydrated if you get hungry. Damn if it doesn't smells the same! We're back where it all started, my friend. We were the Behavioral Science Unit back then
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Looks at an old computer] This is awesome
David Rossi: They call it the BS unit

"Criminal Minds: What Happens at Home... (#6.10)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "Children begin by loving their parents. As they grow older, they judge them. Sometimes they forgive them." ~~ Oscar Wilde

David Rossi: This won't be easy, Ashley. It may trigger some extremely painful memories.
Ashley Seaver: I appreciate the concern, but when your father kills 25 women before you're a teenager, painful memories don't need a trigger. They just are.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Has anyone vetted them?
David Rossi: Garcia's doing a separate check on police and security staff.
Ashley Seaver: Why?
David Rossi: Law enforcement and security are the kind of jobs that would attract this UnSub.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Dennis Rader, BTK, was a compliance officer in Park City, Kansas. Kenneth Bianchi, one of the Hillside Stranglers, worked as a security guard in California and Washington.
David Rossi: Psychopaths love official jobs and uniforms.

Heather Jacobs: Daddy? Daddy, please.
Ashley Seaver: I know how tired you are. I know how exhausting your life is. I watched him live it. I watched him fight it, and I saw how desperately he wanted to be different.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [team arrives at Jacobs' house] Prentiss and Morgan, take the back. Make noise. Let him know he's caught. It may be the only chance she's got.
Ashley Seaver: ...I watched him try so hard to be a good father. But in the end, he just couldn't stop the other thing.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [comes into house] FBI!
David Rossi: FBI!
Heather Jacobs: Daddy, please, let's just leave!
Drew Jacobs: Go downstairs, Heather.
Heather Jacobs: Please, Daddy.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: FBI!
Ashley Seaver: My father once told me the best day of his life was the day he got arrested, because he could finally stop.
Drew Jacobs: Do you hate him?
[Seaver gives her head a subtle shake]
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Drop the knife.
Heather Jacobs: Daddy!
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Drop the knife!
Heather Jacobs: Daddy!
Drew Jacobs: I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry.
[walks toward Hotch]

David Rossi: What else is on your mind?
Ashley Seaver: A dog... When I was seven years old, I found a puppy on my way home from school. I ran all the way home with this little ball of fur. I was so excited. And when I got to the house, my dad was the only one home. And I gave him the puppy to hold while I got him some milk. We didn't have dog food, but I thought, well, a puppy's like a baby, so milk, right? And when I got back, my dad was in the bathroom, and he turned and told me to put the milk away. I didn't understand. And he told me we didn't need the hassle of another mouth to feed, and I was never to do that again... And he tilted his head, and I started crying and I could swear he looked like he was having fun.
David Rossi: He's a psychopath. Cruelty to animals is part of that.
Ashley Seaver: I know. But what I don't understand... Mr. Jacobs asked me a question about my father, and... I don't hate him. I don't. I try, but I just don't.
David Rossi: No matter what else he is, he's your father. Now, you're not responsible for the things he did. But you can't change the fact that to you... he's still your dad.
Ashley Seaver: I just feel like he's winning if I don't hate him.
David Rossi: No, kiddo. There's no winning. There's just living. Moving forward. And if you keep doing that, you'll be all right.
Ashley Seaver: Is that true?
David Rossi: It is for me.
Ashley Seaver: Thank you.
[Rossi holds her hand]

"Criminal Minds: A Higher Power (#3.15)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Hotch would never have taken this case. And I say "case" in the loosest sense.
David Rossi: Profile the facts as they are without bias. Isn't that what we do?
Derek Morgan: What facts, Rossi? Look at us. We don't have a single file.
David Rossi: Okay, let me help you out. Jump right in anytime. Fact one - there are no files, so it seems no case.
Emily Prentiss: But what if there is?
Dr. Spencer Reid: One fire, fourteen deaths, five suicides.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: All the suicides are connected to the original fire.
Emily Prentiss: And all exactly two weeks apart.
David Rossi: Come on, Derek, you can't tell me that doesn't feel a lot like a pattern.
Emily Prentiss: And a timeline.
David Rossi: Right?
Derek Morgan: A lot of people lost their kids in that fire. That's a whole world of grief, and for a few... suicide's their only way out.
David Rossi: Or someone decided it was.
Derek Morgan: And made it look this way?
David Rossi: What if they have?
Derek Morgan: Then we're looking for one very smart unsub.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "There is no refuge from confession but suicide, and suicide is confession." - Daniel Webster.

Aaron Hotchner: I need a favor.
David Rossi: Of course.
Aaron Hotchner: I need some personal time, no more than a day.
David Rossi: Take all the time you need.
Aaron Hotchner: [about his divorce from Haley] I need to talk to Jack. I've lost her, but I'm not gonna lose him. I need to try to... tell him what's going on. I don't know how much he's going to understand, but...
David Rossi: All he needs to understand is that you love him.

David Rossi: How'd it go with Jack?
Aaron Hotchner: I just told him that I wasn't going to be around as much.
David Rossi: How'd he take it?
Aaron Hotchner: He gave me a hug, and he said that everything was gonna be all right.
David Rossi: Smart kid. Like his dad.

Emily Prentiss: We'd also like to take a look at your brother's house
Det. Ronnie Baleman: I'll take you there
David Rossi: I think it is better if you stay here
Det. Ronnie Baleman: It's my case, I... I brought you here
Derek Morgan: Technically there is no case and if there was you wouldn't be on it

"Criminal Minds: Lockdown (#10.16)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] Dwight D. Eisenhower once wrote: "If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking is freedom"

David Rossi: 2000 inmates and probably half of them already in there for violent crimes. Well, the good news and the bad news is we've already got our suspect pool!

Dr. Spencer Reid: The business of incarceration is extremely lucrative and virtually recession proof. The Citadel Corrections Company has more than quadrupled their holding since they were founded 20 years ago. They now have 19 facilities all across the country with 59,603 prisoners in their charge
David Rossi: Guess I had it wrong all this time, crime does pay!

Warden Miles Tate: Sorry, there is no cell signal inside the walls. We had to jam it.
Derek Morgan: You get inmates smuggling phones in?
Warden Miles Tate: Yeah, it's been a problem, one of many
Jennifer Jareau: What about WiFi?
Warden Miles Tate: We got you set up as close to the router as possible, but it's still glitch. Drives me nuts. Back when I worked on the Hill I couldn't survive without my phone
Kate Callahan: Hm, I got a teenager at home who knows exactly how you feel!
Warden Miles Tate: Ha ha, Well, we have got our good old fashion landlines and a fax machine for you, though.
David Rossi: I thought I was the only one that still use those!

David Rossi: [Entering prison interrogation room] Mr. Sam Pritchett? I am agent David Rossi. How are you doing?
Sam Pritchett: I can't complain
David Rossi: Well, you could, but who would be listening, right?

"Criminal Minds: Cold Comfort (#4.14)" (2009)
David Rossi: A necrophiliac has no use for a live victim.

David Rossi: To those who believe, no proof is necessary. To those who don't, no proof is enough Stuart Chase.

[their victim's mother is making a public appeal to her daughter's kidnapper]
David Rossi: Wish she would have waited until we had a chance to coach her.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I don't know, she seems to be doing a pretty good job.
Derek Morgan: Good enough to make the unsub think twice about killing Brooke.
David Rossi: If he hasn't already. Chances are this is all too late.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's her daughter. She has to have hope, right?
David Rossi: Hope's one thing. False hope is something else.
Derek Morgan: I guess you've worked with psychics before?
David Rossi: Yeah. Not by choice.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You know, there are cases where people believe they've helped.
David Rossi: When people are vulnerable, they'll believe a lot of things.

David Rossi: You're in early.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Couldn't sleep.
David Rossi: I know how it can be coming back here. The bad things seem worse. You want easy answers.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: If you're gonna tell me not to believe in psychics, you don't have to.
David Rossi: You can believe in what you want. But when you're here, you need to have faith in what we do. It works.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I just... I saw a mother losing her child, and, uh... we didn't have any other leads. I thought what harm could it do?
David Rossi: I asked the same question once.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You did?
David Rossi: It was a kidnapping case in Georgia. We had nothing, time was running out, and there was a local woman known for her... abilities. On her advice, we took the investigation in the wrong direction. The boy died.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I'm sorry.
David Rossi: It was a long time ago.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, we won this time. That's what matters, right?
David Rossi: [Rossi half-smiles] Welcome back.

David Rossi: [Walking onto a huge estate] Did Garcia say what Mr. Gless does for a living?
Aaron Hotchner: Failed artist
David Rossi: Guess that's what they call failing up
Aaron Hotchner: Or marrying well

"Criminal Minds: 52 Pickup (#4.9)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think I'm just going to stay home tonight and man the tipline. Clubs aren't really my thing.
Derek Morgan: Not a chance kid, I need a wingman. Come on.
David Rossi: Actually, there is another angle we need to pursue.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We still don't know what made the unsub change his victimology. What made him stop killing prostitutes and move into the clubs.
David Rossi: The answer might be something in Viper's class. But to figure that out we need to profile the teacher.
Derek Morgan: You need to bait him, then, with somebody he sees as a challenge.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to study his style up close and personal. It's gonna take someone he's already attracted to.
Emily Prentiss: Aww. Aww, this is really gonna suck.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] P.J. O'Rourke wrote "Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

David Rossi: Hotch, this is Melissa Foster. She recognized the sketch.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I'm SSA Hotchner. Thank you for coming in. You sure you've seen this man?
Melissa Foster: Yeah. I gave him the scar.

David Rossi: [to Hotch who's staring at a map] Is this the one that if you stare at it long enough you'll see an image of a swan?

"Criminal Minds: ...A Thousand Words (#5.20)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] A sincere artist tries to create something which is, in itself, a living thing. -painter William Dobell

Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at that. At the turn of the 16th century, rose tattoos were put on men who were sentenced to death.
Trooper Pasternak: Really?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, if they escaped, it served to identify them, but now roses pretty much symbolize pure love.
David Rossi: Pure love, right before he kills them.

David Rossi: Garcia, remind me never to try to hide from you.
Penelope Garcia: Perish the thought, mon ami.

Trooper Pasternak: Why is it when men kill themselves, it gets everywhere, but women don't leave a mess, like they were never there?
David Rossi: Women worry about who has to clean up. Men don't give a damn.

"Criminal Minds: A Place at the Table (#10.20)" (2015)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "When one has not had a good father, one must create one"- Friedrich Nietzche

Derek Morgan: His name is Ezra Warren, he's 23 years old, works as a waiter in DC. He's got a clean record
David Rossi: So, except for being covered in blood at the scene of a mass murder, just your average Joe.

Jennifer Jareau: So Dillon told the police that he'd been hiking through the Great Smokey Mountains for the past week
David Rossi: Right! And Elvis is alive and well and cutting a new album in my basement

Cora Gilliam: The gun is registered to me. I am allowed to carry it!
David Rossi: Carrying it's not the problem, pointing it at FBI agents is the problem!

"Criminal Minds: Bloodline (#4.13)" (2009)
David Rossi: Garcia we believe that they are gypsies.
Penelope Garcia: Gypsies? As in "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves?"
David Rossi: Yes.
Penelope Garcia: Oh bless you all for turning my life into a Cher song!

David Rossi: Jorden was right, you know, on the plane
Derek Morgan: What you're talking about?
David Rossi: We hide behind language. We don't talk about the ugliness we see
Derek Morgan: Rossi, we talk about it every day
David Rossi: No, we talk facts, signature, MO, pathology
Derek Morgan: What you're getting at?
David Rossi: We're working a case were a family is grooming their son to kill. They're not just murdering people, they're stealing children, poisoning minds. Where's the horror?
Derek Morgan: We can't do this job if we let it get to us
David Rossi: Exactly

David Rossi: You're okay?
Agent Jordan Todd: Yeah, I just need to build a thicker skin
David Rossi: You don't need to anything you don't want to! You understand?

Agent Jordan Todd: And also I... I just spoke with JJ. She'll be at her desk by the time we get back to Quantico
Aaron Hotchner: She has 3 more weeks of maternity leave
Agent Jordan Todd: I know, but she's dying to be back. And honestly, I'm ready to get back to counter terrorism, it's where I'm needed
David Rossi: They're lucky to have you
[Shakes Jordan's hand and leaves the room]
Agent Jordan Todd: May I say something?
Aaron Hotchner: Sure
Agent Jordan Todd: This team is like a family and families take on the traits of their leaders. You don't show much emotion
Aaron Hotchner: Meaning what?
Agent Jordan Todd: I've sat at JJ's desk and I have looked at some of the worst things I've ever seen, just trying to do half her job. I hope you don't take her for granted
Aaron Hotchner: I don't

"Criminal Minds: Identity (#3.7)" (2007)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [on the phone] Hi this is Agent Jareau with the F.B.I. and -
[puts phone down]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That's the third time I've been hung up on.
David Rossi: Try not saying F.B.I.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Who was that?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Contact for a local militia newsletter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, drop the F.B.I. part.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "An earthly kingdom cannot exist without inequality of persons. Some must be free, some serfs, some rulers, some subjects." - Martin Luther.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: So, what starts you to think about coming back?
David Rossi: Unfinished business.
Derek Morgan: There's one thing you'll learn about me, Rossi. I'm relentless. I'll find out.

David Rossi: There are some very committed people in those parts
Aaron Hotchner: Who love their fire power
David Rossi: Almost as much as they hate us

"Criminal Minds: Snake Eyes (#7.13)" (2012)
David Rossi: [voiceover] George Augustus Sala once said, "A gambler with a system, must be to a greater or lesser extent, insane"

Derek Morgan: It doesn't take much to ignite a Mob war.
David Rossi: And collateral damage means nothing to these guys. If we don't get a handle on this soon, innocent people are gonna die.

David Rossi: I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em.
Emily Prentiss: Hey, what about you?
David Rossi: What about me what?
Emily Prentiss: You could stake us the buy-in.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, you're a best-selling author.
David Rossi: No!
Emily Prentiss: Why not?
David Rossi: One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's a minor administrative violation.
David Rossi: And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt Scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork.
Emily Prentiss: Poker chips are things.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe just think of it as, like, a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen?
David Rossi: At my *what*?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy.
David Rossi: All right, fine. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to...
Emily Prentiss: You know what? I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card-counting ability.
David Rossi: Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If "P" represents the size of the pot at the time of play, than P x N - 1, with "N" representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting...
David Rossi: Okay, fine. I surrender. Just try not to lose all of my money?

Emily Prentiss: What about you, Rossi? What's your favorite mob movie?
David Rossi: I've seen too much of it in my life.

"Criminal Minds: Lauren (#6.18)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: She threw a flash bang grenade into a car, she's lucky the three people inside didn't die. Is anybody else bothered by that?
David Rossi: Well, three bad guys.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Illegal as it is, I think Prentiss knows she has to be as ruthless as Doyle.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's come to the US to wage a public vendetta and hired a group of mercenaries to remain loyal to him. He has nothing to lose, so she has to act the same way.

Dr. Spencer Reid: It's another spy whose cover is LR.
Emily Prentiss: [in Reid's flashback] Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead. Prentiss said that on a phone call 17 days ago. But her intonation wasn't surprise or grief. It was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself. Lauren Reynolds, LR.
Derek Morgan: She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That doesn't make sense. Why run? We're her family. We can help.
David Rossi: Doyle's killing families. She's not married, not close to relatives. He was ready to wipe us out. She ran to protect us.

David Rossi: Why were you calling Clyde Easter so much, Jack?
Jack Fahey: Anybody got a smoke? How about you, beanpole?
David Rossi: What do you think?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Narcissism masking deep-seated insecurity.
David Rossi: So if we puncture his self-image, this hood rat will talk.
Jack Fahey: Hey, hey, hey, I ain't no hood rat. You take that back.
David Rossi: Well, you look like one. You smell like one. You smell that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hood rat.
Jack Fahey: I am not! Take it back!
David Rossi: Hey, Jack. Do you know what a hood rat is? You see what I mean? He's just gonna have to learn the hard way.
Jack Fahey: All right, look, Clyde was gonna pay my medical bills, all right? This ear, it ain't growing back.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What happened to it?
Jack Fahey: This bitch teammate of his shot it. Said it was a warning. Thought she could take on this IRA big shot named Doyle. So I told these... What the hell, man? Jeez!
David Rossi: Where's Prentiss?
Jack Fahey: Who? I don't know!
David Rossi: Lauren Reynolds.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Where's Lauren Reynolds?
Jack Fahey: Friend of yours, is she?
David Rossi: You tell us where she is right now, or I swear, I'll send you to a prison where they'll teach you what a hood rat is.
Jack Fahey: And by the time you do, she'll be in pieces. So... my price just went up.

Jack Fahey: You know when a cigarette is best? After sex with me.
David Rossi: Mind your manners.
Jack Fahey: All right.
David Rossi: You're already extorting us for Prentiss' location.
Ashley Seaver: So, just out of curiosity, what's like working for Doyle?
Jack Fahey: He's not so tough.
Ashley Seaver: Wow. I bet you're his hookup, aren't you? I mean, after all, you're the man.
Jack Fahey: I could show you how much of a man I really am.
[Rossi moves to Jack]
Jack Fahey: All right, all right, all right. Jeez, what's with the sexy cop/bad cop routine? What do you two think...
[Jack gets shot]

"Criminal Minds: Self Fulfilling Prophecy (#7.9)" (2011)
David Rossi: Leaves of three, let them be.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, man. Poison ivy, alcohol swabs, stat.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, thank you. You know, if I've got it, so do you.
David Rossi: I'm Italian; it knows better.

David Rossi: Aggressive motto: Vivere est vincere. To live is to conquer.

Lieutenant Tawes: Looks like Josh has doubled back a few times. But the dogs can't find him.
David Rossi: Is he familiar with these woods?
Lieutenant Tawes: All first years come here for a mission. Josh tried to run away back then but didn't get far. None of them do.
Emily Prentiss: But after three more years of training...
Lieutenant Tawes: He didn't weigh himself down with supplies. Smart. We taught him well.

Emily Prentiss: What was his relationship with Tucker Calhoun?
Carter Campbell: Josh is straight up. This place never broke him. No matter how hard they tried.
Emily Prentiss: Who tried to break him? Tucker?
Carter Campbell: [pause] A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.
David Rossi: You've got an honor code. My guess is not everyone lives by it.

"Criminal Minds: Persuasion (#9.17)" (2014)
David Rossi: *
[stepping into storm drain water]
David Rossi: * Uh, remind me to call my shoemaker. I'm going to need a new pair of boots.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You have a shoemaker?
David Rossi: Well, one thing I've learned in life. A good pair of shoes can last longer than a marriage. You only have to pay for them once.

David Rossi: [closing quote] "Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within"- Arthur Erickson

David Rossi: What'd you find Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Can someone let the Pope know about me? Because what I do is kind of a miracle!

"Criminal Minds: Risky Business (#5.13)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [glancing at the completed star puzzle] There's a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid.
David Rossi: Play poker with him sometime.
Derek Morgan: Try playing chess with him.
Penelope Garcia: Or Go.

Penelope Garcia: Sir, it's not that I'm not glad to be coming with you, because I am. I just don't understand the why.
Aaron Hotchner: One of the aspects of an equivocal death investigation when suicide is a probability is an indirect personality assessment. Our victims are all Internet generation kids. There should be invaluable personal data on their computers to mine for the evaluation.
Derek Morgan: If they committed suicide, evidence of it will probably be in their cyber world.
Penelope Garcia: So I'm gonna snoop through dead kids' computers?
David Rossi: This plane seldom makes pleasure trips.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub responsible for these deaths may be a teenager.
Emily Prentiss: He's a loner. He doesn't participate in team sports or group activities. He's withdrawn, very low self-esteem.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His only form of pure interaction is online. He engages in activity that draws attention to himself yet isolates himself from his peers.
Jennifer Jareau: [presenting the profile to a group of adults] Parents and teachers should watch out for the warning signs: kids with bloodshot eyes, marks on their necks, severe headaches, disorientation.
David Rossi: In real life, he considers himself a loser. In cyberspace, he can pull strings. Makes him feel powerful.
Deputy #1: Does this kid know that other kids are dying because of him?
Derek Morgan: He's choking himself and daring others to do it, so we're most likely looking at reckless homicides here.
Jennifer Jareau: If you see anything that's unusual or suspicious, just call the sheriff's department and we will try to direct you as best we can. All right, thank you.
[the crowd breaks up]
Jennifer Jareau: Well, we told as many parents as we could.
Sheriff Samuels: Do you think it helped?
Jennifer Jareau: Not as much as getting through to the kids will.

"Criminal Minds: Hit (#7.23)" (2012)
Erin Strauss: What is going on here? You didn't profile this as a suicide mission.
David Rossi: 'Cause it wasn't. They'd never kill themselves.
Erin Strauss: What the hell do you call that, then?
David Rossi: They didn't improvise a way out. They've had an exit strategy in place. You don't learn explosives overnight.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Whoa, Rossi!
David Rossi: Why doesn't this surprise me?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Are you here for the convention?
David Rossi: Who schedules a cigar aficionado event back to back with this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I know, right? It's the greatest party ever.
David Rossi: Well, it was gonna be. Unless it involves Gentleman Jack and pre-embargo Cuban cigars. I find that statement to be highly dubious.
Penelope Garcia: Kevin brought another woman. I'm plotting revenge. Do you want to help?
David Rossi: No. Now, you know I love you both, but this is Saturday and it is my day off, so I'd prefer to love you from afar. So, have fun. It's my bedtime.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's 9:00 a.m.
David Rossi: You're judging me?

Derek Morgan: Tactical's been deployed, snipers are moving into position.
Erin Strauss: The director's ordered a full tactical assault.
Derek Morgan: His last orders cost us an agent.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: SWAT's getting itchy fingers.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, you remind SWAT that bank robberies are federal jurisdiction. No one fires until they're ordered to.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Right.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, when the crossfire starts, what's gonna happen to the hostages caught in the middle?
David Rossi: That's the wrong call, Erin, and you know it.
Erin Strauss: It's not my call.
Aaron Hotchner: You're here and you're in charge.
Erin Strauss: So, you want me to disobey the director?
David Rossi: Yes.
Aaron Hotchner: No. I just want you to buy us a little time. Don't be quite so efficient.
Erin Strauss: Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast.
Aaron Hotchner: All right.

"Criminal Minds: Demonology (#4.17)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, don't tell me you believe in evil.
David Rossi: Don't tell me you do this job and you don't.
Derek Morgan: I believe there are evil acts, but those are choices - brain chemistry. What do you think, Hotch?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.

David Rossi: You know, James Joyce also said, "There is no heresy or philosophy so abhorrent to the Church as a human being."

David Rossi: Forget "priest." Think "unsub."

"Criminal Minds: Painless (#7.4)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [the music on Morgan's iPod suddenly stops, and is replaced by Reid's voice] We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement: never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate, because we have a history of going nuclear. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me screaming in your ear. AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
David Rossi: [Morgan takes off his headphones] Okay, kid, that was cute. But that's all you got?
[Reid snores, feigning sleep]
Derek Morgan: [his phone rings] Hey, baby gi...
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Reid's recording cuts in] AHHHHHHH!
[still feigning sleep, Reid smirks; to diffuse the situation, Rossi waves a white flag of surrender]
Derek Morgan: Uh-uh. All right, Reid, it's on. Just know that paybacks are a bitch.

Penelope Garcia: Does anyone remember this picture?
David Rossi: Hotch and I were there. That's Principal Doug Givens. We had to drag him to safety.
Emily Prentiss: High school bombing in Boise, right?
Jennifer Jareau: School shooter *and* school bomber. A kid named Randy Slade shot three students, and then set off an IED in the cafeteria via cell phone, killing himself and thirteen kids total, but not before posting all of his plans online. It was one of those "where were you?" events. My whole campus was glued to the TV.

Emily Prentiss: What else do we have to go on?
Jennifer Jareau: Spence said the UnSub would have broken his hand beating Chelsea to death. Did you notice anyone with a cast on their hand, someone who seemed hurt?
Emily Prentiss: No.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I might know why. This UnSub doesn't feel pain. There's a medical condition called pain asymbolia, where patients register harmful stimuli without being bothered by it. They've been documented holding their hand over an open flame because their brain doesn't send pain signals to the central nervous system.
David Rossi: Sounds pretty rare. You sure the UnSub has it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The crime scenes prove it. This UnSub displayed an unusual level of savagery towards his victims. And consider this, he smashed through a glass display case, but there were not cuts on Jerry. That means he most likely punched through it as a show of force. Now, the only way the human body could withstand that level of pain is if he couldn't feel it at all.
David Rossi: It must take a major toll on someone's emotional development.
Derek Morgan: A significant contributor to our sense of empathy is the way we personally experience pain.
Aaron Hotchner: And the UnSub didn't develop his sense of empathy because it was cut off. Does every person with asymbolia have this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, most feel empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is still accurate. Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage...

"Criminal Minds: The Angel Maker (#4.2)" (2008)
[Dr Reid has found steganographic messages hidden in letters written by a convict in prison but can't read the messages without the key]
David Rossi: What do you need to crack it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The ability to clone myself and a year's supply of Adderall.
David Rossi: I'll put on the coffee.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: This is Delilah Grennan. She was bludgeoned and raped during the night at her home in Lower Canaan, Ohio.
Emily Prentiss: Lower where?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Small town forty miles outside of Cincinnati.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Staging the body face up with the arms across the chest like that.
Derek Morgan: Ritual. Nice hair, by the way.
[Morgan flips a lock of Reid's hair into his face]
Dr. Spencer Reid: [brushing his hair back] Thanks.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh, there's more. Small puncture wounds on her stomach. Note the lack of blood.
Emily Prentiss: They were inflicted postmortem. Were there any other victims?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Kind of. Victimology and signature match a serial killer from the same town ten years ago. Six victims spanning over ten months. He called himself...
Aaron Hotchner: The Angel Maker. I remember the case.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They caught that guy.
David Rossi: And executed him.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That's right. He was put to death by lethal injection a year ago yesterday.
Emily Prentiss: Yesterday.
Derek Morgan: So we're looking for a copycat.
David Rossi: Honoring the anniversary of his hero's death.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It says here they found semen at the crime scene. Perhaps locals will get a DNA match when they run it through VICAP?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, that's where it gets weird. They ran it already and they got a match, too.
Emily Prentiss: Well, if they already have a name, why'd they call us?
David Rossi: [reading the report] They've got to be kidding. The match they got back on the DNA is to a Cortland Bryce Ryan. Otherwise known as... the Angel Maker.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, you ever get groupies at your book signing?
David Rossi: Sometimes, if Barry Manilow isn't in town

"Criminal Minds: Elephant's Memory (#3.16)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [rushing into the briefing room] Sorry I'm late.
Dr. Spencer Reid: .
David Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Derek Morgan: [turning to look at Reid from behind] I hope it was a she.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I was at the movies.
David Rossi: Oh, really, why don't you tell us what it was about.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, I had to leave early, so I can't really -...
[stops because of Rossi's look]

David Rossi: [about a bombing in Texas] Whoever it is, they gunned down two cops and blew up a teenage girl. 'Till they're stopped, no one in that town is safe.

David Rossi: Roadblocks aren't gonna work!
Sheriff Britt Hallum: Why's that?
Emily Prentiss: He's not on the road

"Criminal Minds: Valhalla (#6.17)" (2011)
David Rossi: Are you alright? You know, you haven't had a vacation in a while. Weren't you talking about Italy?
Emily Prentiss: My mother extended her trip there. It wouldn't be much of a vacation.
David Rossi: It's a big country.
Emily Prentiss: Not big enough.

David Rossi: The more players we get on this board, the sooner Erin will get her nose in it.
Aaron Hotchner: Strauss already knows.
David Rossi: I'm surprised she wasn't in the SCIF.
Aaron Hotchner: She's on vacation.
David Rossi: Great. Now she'll never take another one.

David Rossi: Good guys and bad keep files close to them.
Penelope Garcia: What are in these files?
David Rossi: It's intel. Insurance. Protection. For times like this.

"Criminal Minds: A Shade of Gray (#4.21)" (2009)
David Rossi: We don't get to pick who wins, detective. Even if that means no one does.

David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] Dr. Burton Grebin once said "To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself."

David Rossi: [closing quotation, voiceover] Andre Maurois wrote "Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold."

"Criminal Minds: Today I Do (#6.15)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your mind." ~~ Sally Kempton

Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, this phrase doesn't seem to have a particular source or author. It's found pretty much every self-help book, I read 22 of them today, all touting the same, basic three-part plan.
David Rossi: Let me guess, phase one is positive thinking, visualizing goals.
Emily Prentiss: That's to work up the courage to get to phase two, taking real steps to achieve said goal.
David Rossi: Gail committed to school, got grades like never before.
Emily Prentiss: Molly gave up her obsessive food journal and started eating better.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's hard to believe motivational sayings alone would allow her to make these type of strides.
Emily Prentiss: Maybe that's why the UnSub moved in with them. She could offer support and encouragement day and night.
David Rossi: She'd be around to watch Molly's diet or Gail's study habits.
Emily Prentiss: At first her methods worked. She gets to be the hero, the savior.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She's a pure narcissist, so helping her victims is only about gaining their appreciation and dependence.
David Rossi: The more her victims gain confidence, the less they need a full-time cheerleader.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And that's when her motivational plan goes completely off the rails. Phase three is normally about maintaining the tenets of the program independently.
David Rossi: But her program doesn't end. She holds them captive, destroys them physically.
Emily Prentiss: She's the motivational speaker from hell.

David Rossi: Why didn't you tell us Molly battled with severe anorexia?
Jerry Grandin: I didn't know. All right, look, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be here. She was always a chubby kid, right? She always had to watch what she ate.
David Rossi: Did she get treatment?
Jerry Grandin: We don't believe in stuff like that. We're hard-workers. We like to solve our own problems.
David Rossi: It's urgent that you tell me everything that you know... Mr. Grandin, I'm having difficulty understanding why keeping Molly's secrets is more important than finding her alive.
Jerry Grandin: It's not. She just wouldn't want anyone knowing her personal problems.
David Rossi: Your daughter is specifically vulnerable to this suspect because of her private emotional issues. Now, we need to know as much about Molly as does the person who's holding her captive. So I'm going to ask you again, are there any other secrets you're not sharing with me?
Jerry Grandin: ...She collapsed about a year ago. Malnutrition. Anemia. She wasn't eating.
David Rossi: Did she get treatment?
Jerry Grandin: Thirty days. Finley Center for Eating Disorders.
David Rossi: At Syracuse General?
Jerry Grandin: Yeah... Why?
David Rossi: Gail Langston was treated there for depression.
Jerry Grandin: I should have told you.
David Rossi: ...Yeah.

"Criminal Minds: The Instincts (#4.6)" (2008)
[Walking into a messy crime scene in the middle of the desert]
David Rossi: It's not exactly a well preserved scene.
Emily Prentiss: It's the crime scene investigators. They wanna play cop instead of just being scientist. And they end up trampling on everything.

David Rossi: Not exactly a well-preserved scene.
Emily Prentiss: It's the crime scene investigators. They all wanna play cop instead of just being scientists.

Emily Prentiss: Where were you on the days Ethan Hayes and Michael Bridges were abducted?
Walter Davis: I was home
David Rossi: Don't you need to ask what days those were?

"Criminal Minds: A Thin Line (#7.15)" (2012)
Clark Preston: I'm innocent!
Aaron Hotchner: Clark Preston, you have the right to remain silent.
David Rossi: Yeah, please feel free to exercise that right.

Penelope Garcia: I got some dirt on your mayoral candidate, Clark Preston.
David Rossi: He's a politician. That shouldn't be hard.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe we're looking for a white male in his late 20s to early 30s.
Deputy: Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, I thought we were looking at black gangbangers.
Derek Morgan: The UnSub has been staging the crime scenes to make it look like black gangs and undocumented immigrants were responsible.
Deputy: Why would anyone do that?
Jennifer Jareau: We think he's trying to create some sort of racial conflict.
Dr. Spencer Reid: In 1969, Charles Manson orchestrated the Tate-LaBianca murders, in the hopes of creating a race war between the blacks and whites that he referred to as "Helter Skelter."
David Rossi: A name he stole from a Beatles song.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Members of the Manson family left watermelon rinds at the scene of the crime and also painted panther paws on the wall in blood in the hopes of convincing authorities that the Black Panther Party was responsible.

"Criminal Minds: Anonymous (#10.12)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] "As life runs on, the road grows strange, with faces new and near the end the milestones into headstones change, underneath every one a friend" - James Russell Lowell

David Rossi: I'll stay and help them however I can and then come up, two or three days max
Joy Struthers: Don't worry about it. The lake isn't going to dry up all of a sudden. Just take all the time you need
David Rossi: You're sure?
Joy Struthers: Yes, absolutely! We're gonna be fine, Dad!
Joy Struthers: You're there?
David Rossi: I... I'm sorry! Whenever I hear someone say "Dad", I start looking around to see who they are talking to!
Joy Struthers: Well, get used to it, Dad!

Thomas Scott: This is more than I was expecting!
David Rossi: Every marine is entitled to a funeral with full honors. You just have to ask. Plus a couple of three stars from my cigar club in DC, who wanted to fly in to be part of this.
Thomas Scott: And them?
David Rossi: Those gentlemen are who are left from your father's squad in Vietnam
Thomas Scott: How did you find them so quickly?
David Rossi: Someday I'll introduce you to one Penelope Garcia

"Criminal Minds: The Fight (#5.18)" (2010)
David Rossi: I actually think San Quentin was nicer.
Jonathan Simms: Yeah, trust me, it's not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What do you mean?

David Rossi: I've known Sam Cooper for twenty years, and I've never seen him defy an order. If he feels this strong about a hunch, we need to help him however we can.

David Rossi: [at the Red Cell's makeshift base of operations] I actually think San Quentin was nicer.
Jonathan Simms: Yeah, trust me. It's not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [unaware Prophet is an ex-con] What do you mean?

"Criminal Minds: True Genius (#7.11)" (2012)
David Rossi: Bottom line, the Zodiac is the most well-documented unsolved serial killing case in modern times.

Aaron Hotchner: There have been two known copycats.
Penelope Garcia: Correct. The first one was Heriberto Seda. He killed three and wounded four in New York City. And then, there was a 14-year-old in Japan named Seito Sakakibara. He killed two other children and left the sign of the Zodiac behind.
David Rossi: The fact is the Zodiac was driven by a need for notoriety and control.
Aaron Hotchner: He enjoyed the terror he spread through the city.

[last lines]
Emily Prentiss: Hey, Reid. Hotch wants to talk to you. What's wrong?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He probably wants to talk to me about why I've been kind of weird lately.
Emily Prentiss: You are making a difference, you know, one person at a time.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you. You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about why I stayed after Gideon left, why I didn't take any of those other offers.
Emily Prentiss: Nothing is accidental.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And I realized, I don't know, there's just something incredibly right about being here, with you guys.
Emily Prentiss: Well, I'm glad to hear that. Otherwise this would have been really awkward.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What would have been really awkward?
Penelope Garcia: Surprise!
Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan: Surprise! Happy birthday!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Happy birthday!
Penelope Garcia: Happy birthday!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you.
Aaron Hotchner: Do you feel like 30?
Derek Morgan: Happy birthday, old man. Happy birthday. Almost 40 now.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm getting close.

"Criminal Minds: The Performer (#5.7)" (2009)
[on Reid's description of blood drinking as a possible part of "classic cannibalism"]
David Rossi: "Classic cannibalism"? Lovely job we have.

Emily Prentiss: [searching Tara's apartment] This is almost exactly like my first apartment in Georgetown. My mom wanted me to stay on campus, but I was determined to make it, so... I waitressed on the weekends to swing it.
David Rossi: You must have been a hell of a waitress to swing an apartment in Georgetown.
Emily Prentiss: No, I sucked. I only got by 'cause my mom put money in my account every week and we both pretended I didn't know.

Emily Prentiss: It never ceases to amaze me how dark obsession can get.
David Rossi: And with a pop star? I mean, I was obsessed with the Rat Pack, but I wouldn't have killed for Frank or Dean.
Aaron Hotchner: No, you just drank whiskey and smoked cigars.
David Rossi: Oh, and this coming from the man whose favorite record is the Beatles' 'White Album'.
Aaron Hotchner: Just because Manson hijacked it doesn't have to ruin it for the rest of us.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's why I stick to Beethoven. There's no chance of guilt by association.
Emily Prentiss: Well, yeah? Have you ever seen a movie called "A Clockwork Orange"?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [shaking his head] Mm-mmm.
[the rest of the team snickers with laughter]

"Criminal Minds: Angels (#9.23)" (2014)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "The name written on her forehead was a mystery: 'Babylon the Great, the mother of prostitutes and of the abominations of the earth'" - Revelations 17:5

David Rossi: What kind of knife did he use?
Albert Franklin: A sharp one

Principal Andrew McIntyre: Look! Those women I had sessions with. Okay, maybe some money changed hands, but that was just for their time!
David Rossi: Yeah, we read the disclaimers on those escorts' websites too

"Criminal Minds: Hashtag (#10.7)" (2014)

Penelope Garcia: She has over 200,000 followers
David Rossi: Isn't that a lot for a 16-year old?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, massive, she was on her way to the iCelebrity status

[Charles walks out of a shop for a smoke]
Kate Callahan: Going somewhere, Chuck?
David Rossi: [while handcuffing Charles] Don't you know by now that cigarettes are bad for your health?

"Criminal Minds: Reckoner (#5.3)" (2009)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. -Blaise Pascal

David Rossi: [voiceover] I have always found that mercy bears richer fruit than strict justice. -Abraham Lincoln

David Rossi: Doomed to be star crossed lovers, destined to wander what might have been

"Criminal Minds: Demons (#9.24)" (2014)
Jennifer Jareau: [on mobile] How is he? Great... Okay, thanks Alex, bye.
[hangs up]
Jennifer Jareau: Spence is in recovery.
David Rossi: Good. The kid is too smart to die. Probably rerouted the bullets by power of suggestion.
Jennifer Jareau: Hm... I was scared
David Rossi: Yeah, I was too.

Alex Blake: It's funny about this job, it's it? The extremes.
David Rossi: Yeah, well, it's always been that way. One of the best days in my career turned out to be one of the worst. July 16th 1983, child abduction turned murder. The guy we napped killed five boys and there were cases we already tracked. It was such a victory in knowing that we'd stopped him hurting anyone else. When I got home my bags were packed. Caroline had had enough, I'd forgotten our anniversary again. As well as all the other little things that didn't seem important, because saving lives trumped everything, so I let ours die. Ah, well, it's the great balance of life. It finds its way to knock your legs away

Alex Blake: [has no signal on her phone] Ah, thought you said it doesn't get any worse?
David Rossi: Until it does.

"Criminal Minds: Supply and Demand (#6.24)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. -Aristotle

[last lines]
David Rossi: You said we needed to talk, but at 2 a.m.?
Jennifer Jareau: I saw the lights were on.
David Rossi: And you couldn't sleep. Which tells me you've given some thought to what we discussed.
Jennifer Jareau: I haven't stopped thinking about it.
David Rossi: So?
Jennifer Jareau: I'm coming back.

David Rossi: What is it, kid?
Ashley Seaver: We only rescued seven victims today. What about the rest of these?
David Rossi: It never ends.
Derek Morgan: But today, I think we did good.
David Rossi: Yeah, we did.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, if we weren't so exhausted I would toast us.
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch comes in] Good work, everybody. Go home and get some rest. Nobody needs to come in until nine... Thirty.
[Hotch leaves]
Penelope Garcia: We were supposed to talk... Has he ever left before us?
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, I don't blame him. It's been a long-ass day.
Penelope Garcia: Well, you heard the man.
David Rossi: Go home.

"Criminal Minds: Amelia Porter (#10.10)" (2014)
David Rossi: You're an excellent dad, Aaron. Don't you ever forget it.

David Rossi: I don't get it, why didn't you say anything?
Aaron Hotchner: It didn't come up
David Rossi: Hello! We're not talking about switching to decaf. You and Beth broke up!
Aaron Hotchner: Dave...
David Rossi: I have a 20 year old bottle of Scotch that could drown your sorrows in!

Celine Destin: Hello, thanks for the bottle of champagne! Bartender told me you send it
David Rossi: So much for being a secret admirer
Celine Destin: I am Celine Destin. This is my friend Audrey Hanson
David Rossi: David Rossi and my friend Aaron Hotchner
Aaron Hotchner: Hi, how do you do?
Audrey Hansen: Hi
Aaron Hotchner: Nice to meet you.
Celine Destin: Hi
Aaron Hotchner: Hi, how are you?
Celine Destin: Strong silent types
Audrey Hansen: Yeah
Celine Destin: Intelligent, honest eyes, so you're not politicians
[both women laugh]
Audrey Hansen: FBI?
David Rossi: Wow, you two could be profilers
Celine Destin: Well, Audry practically is! I mean she's in marketing

"Criminal Minds: Memoriam (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives.
David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.

David Rossi: [referring to Reid's father] He's keeping tabs on you. That's saying something.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah and he Googled me. That makes up for everything.

David Rossi: [to Reid] Before we go down this road, you need to be sure
Derek Morgan: He's right. Some rocks don't need looking under

"Criminal Minds: Heathridge Manor (#7.19)" (2012)
David Rossi: Emily, you asked earlier if she was going to a renaissance fair. There's something to that.
Emily Prentiss: Based on the dress, there could be more of a connection to history than the occult.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Renaissance fairs typically replicate 16th century England. They've surged in popularity since they began in the 1960s.
Penelope Garcia: And it's not just a bunch of nerds in costumes eating turkey legs, you guys.

Dr. Spencer Reid: There's something else that's been bothering me. Why is he putting white face makeup on his victims after they're dead?
David Rossi: Isn't that what they wore in the Elizabethan era?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes, but only upper-class women wore white face makeup. It was a symbol of virginity and purity. But he's dressing them like characters out of *The Merry Wives of Windsor*, which is one of Shakespeare's rare plays about the middle class.
Jennifer Jareau: So, it's inconsistent.
Aaron Hotchner: The makeup could mean that he believes death is purifying them.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if this is like the Salem witch trials, where they test the girls by trying to drown them? If they died, it meant they were obviously innocent. If they somehow survived, they were considered witches and therefore hanged.
David Rossi: Wonderful. A lose-lose situation.
Jennifer Jareau: The UnSub didn't submerge the victims in water to torture them. It was some sort of a test?
Dr. Spencer Reid: With death being the only possible outcome.

Dr. Spencer Reid: If someone's carrying on in Catherine's mission, then it's quite possible they both suffered from *folie à deux*, a shared psychotic disorder between two people who are extremely close, and that would mean it's most likely a family member.
David Rossi: Maybe one or both of her kids.

"Criminal Minds: The Inspired (#9.2)" (2013)
David Rossi: The BAU is now trending on Twitter. Whatever that means.

Alex Blake: Identical twins! What are the odds?
David Rossi: About 3.5 per thousand
[Alex gazes at David]
David Rossi: Wow, I asked the Reid the same question.

"Criminal Minds: Protection (#10.22)" (2015)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" - Buddha

David Rossi: So, there's no way that was a mugging?
Penelope Garcia: No, no! Unless it's some sort, you know, bizarre universe with a square planet, where things are like the exact opposite, totally the same

"Criminal Minds: The Internet Is Forever (#5.22)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover, closing] The internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had. - Eric Schmidt

David Rossi: We didn't catch you by mistake, did we, Austin?
Austin Chapman: Excuse me?
David Rossi: You said the unsub liked your website, how it was designed. But it was your work. What you can repair, what you can restore for him. You gave him a place to hide the bodies.
Austin Chapman: That's not true. Talk to my wife. I'm home by 6:00 every night...
David Rossi: That's the first thing voyeurs learn: how to cover their tracks. How to stalk between the hours of nine to five. That's why there was no porn on your computer. You had something better.
Austin Chapman: This is a crime! I would never do what you're describing. And even if you don't believe me, my wife knows. My kids, my grandkids. I hate computers. I don't even know how they work.
David Rossi: Well, then let me give you your first lesson. When something goes out on the Internet, it's out there forever. Now, you're going to jail; that's a foregone conclusion. But unless you cooperate with me, I will do everything I can to make sure that the next time your grandkids Google you, they will find out what kind of a monster grandpa really is.

"Criminal Minds: Omnivore (#4.18)" (2009)
Aaron Hotchner: A bit dramatic, don't you think?
David Rossi: My ex-wife always said I have a flair for the dramatic.
Aaron Hotchner: Which one?
David Rossi: All of them.

David Rossi: Narcissistic killers need other people to recognize their power. That's why they contact the media.

"Criminal Minds: Hanley Waters (#6.20)" (2011)
David Rossi: Your child enters and leaves your life on the same day. That's one hell of a stressor.

Aaron Hotchner: I'm supposed to be asking how you're doing.
David Rossi: I've always had troubles letting people in. But this is different. I guess I've come to realize I'm more married to this team than I ever was to three ex-wives.

"Criminal Minds: If the Shoe Fits (#10.6)" (2014)
Dr. Spencer Reid: 5.30 in the morning, East Coast time. You don't seem tired at all
David Rossi: I am not tired. I am a night person
Dr. Spencer Reid: Speaking about that: you may want to reconsider revamping your circadian clock to more traditional chronotype!
David Rossi: Yeah, I'll put that on my to-do list
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, seriously! Studies have found that at night owls show reduce integrity of white matter in the brain compared to early risers
David Rossi: Well, I appreciate your concern, I am very happy with my brain just like it is!

David Rossi: [Seeing the next broken window in a car] Wouldn't mind having the window replacement franchise in this town!

"Criminal Minds: Parasite (#5.14)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, who then am I? German psychologist Erich Fromm

David Rossi: Con men usually don't murder, but when they do, it's to conceal their crimes.
Derek Morgan: Con man's a nice name for these guys. They profile as psychopaths.

"Criminal Minds: True Night (#3.10)" (2007)
David Rossi: Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.

David Rossi: Something wrong?
Emily Prentiss: He's the first unsub I've worked who wasn't a bad guy. You know? Six months ago, Jonny McHale was just a regular person.
David Rossi: Every unsub is ill on some level. Most can't help what they do any more than Jonny could.
Emily Prentiss: But he went from successful writer and artist to brutal killer in six months.
David Rossi: He suffered an unbelievable tragedy.
Emily Prentiss: I know. I get it.
David Rossi: So what's bugging you?
Emily Prentiss: It just makes me wonder... are we all capable of becoming something like that?

"Criminal Minds: Into the Woods (#6.9)" (2010)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid said he'd need painkillers right away. He left his supply in the mine.
Derek Morgan: Well, there was a lot of money left in that backpack. I don't know how much he's got on him, but those drugs aren't cheap.
David Rossi: But he's got Robert. For some people, that's as good as cash.

Derek Morgan: What'd you find, Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I went back ten years, matching reports of missing children with Daniel and Tyler's victimology, and in my estimation, this UnSub may have taken 12 victims.
David Rossi: How can you attribute all of those to the same offender?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The dates and locations of the abductions create an unmistakable pattern.
Emily Prentiss: Now, if he's been abducting children for ten years, why weren't we called in before now?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The thing is, he walks the entire trail, end to end, and each way takes approximately six months. His sixth victim was taken from Dawsonville, Georgia, in 2006. Then he walked all the way to Manchester, Vermont, and he took a seventh victim in 2007. He wasn't down south again until 2009, when James Clutter's parents woke up from a night of camping, he was gone. They just assumed he wandered off.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We didn't get called in because nobody knew he existed. The crimes are years apart and across state lines.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The interesting thing is, ten years ago he was a more aggressive hunter, likely on the move hunting and killing all 365 days a year, but two years ago he stopped travelling so far.
Emily Prentiss: He's slowing down.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think something's affected his mobility, or old age, or an injury from years of living on the trail. But the odd thing is, for the past two winters, he's returned to this 30 mile radius. He takes a victim with him in the fall to stay with him until spring somewhere within that area.
David Rossi: These are harsh winters. He needs to find shelter.
Derek Morgan: And it would have to be heavily camouflaged. Even the most experienced hikers haven't seen it.

"Criminal Minds: X (#10.1)" (2014)
David Rossi: All of the dump sites are pretty isolated, but this one takes the cake.

Kate Callahan: When we arrest this guy, can I do the honors?
David Rossi: We might have to flip for it.

"Criminal Minds: Paradise (#4.4)" (2008)
Emily Prentiss: Well Roadside motels definately go on my list.
[When Reid gives her a funny look... ]
Emily Prentiss: Of things to never do again.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You have a *list?*
David Rossi: [to Reid] You *don't?*

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I was here, I talked to him and I didn't see it
David Rossi: He made himself look like a good guy. You bought it. It happens to the best of us! Welcome to the club

"Criminal Minds: Rite of Passage (#5.19)" (2010)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy.
David Rossi: Hmm. You don't often hear "popular" and "decapitation" in the same sentence.

Sheriff Ruiz: [after seeing how quickly Garcia completes a search] If you're looking for a gift to get me, one of her would be greatly appreciated.
David Rossi: We're pretty sure they broke the mold.

"Criminal Minds: The Itch (#10.4)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: This is an inherent contradiction about who this victim is
David Rossi: Only one?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Morgellons?
Penelope Garcia: There is a Magellan astronomy club that meets on Tuesdays
Dr. Spencer Reid: No Morgellons! M-O-R-G-E-L-L-O-N-S
Penelope Garcia: Ah, the vowels will get you
David Rossi: Okay, I'll bite: what's Morgellons?

"Criminal Minds: A Thousand Suns (#10.3)" (2014)
David Rossi: [closing quote] "We knew the world would not be the same: some people laugh, a few people cried, most people were silent" - J. Robbert Oppenheimer

David Rossi: So Washington is his Hiroshima! Makes sense in a twisted way.

"Criminal Minds: The Pact (#8.2)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: [badgering Rossi about his unused vacation days] Everyone likes vacation.
David Rossi: Vacations are overrated.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Didn't you take a vacation two years ago?
David Rossi: Luckily, two days in I was called back.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, and now he's got thirty-one days.
Alex Blake: A month?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, sunshine is an essential source of Vitamin D. You should go to Florida and get some sunshine.
David Rossi: That's for old guys.
Derek Morgan: What about a safari in Africa?
David Rossi: Too hot.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How about Italy?
David Rossi: Too many relatives.

David Rossi: [voiceover] Paul Brown once said "If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less."

"Criminal Minds: Masterpiece (#4.8)" (2008)
[last lines]
David Rossi: "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles." - Mark Twain.

"Criminal Minds: The Black Queen (#9.12)" (2014)
David Rossi: Any idea who's behind it?
Penelope Garcia: Best guess is that's online collective known as Star Chamber. There one of several justice oriented groups that sprung up in the wake of the Steubenville rape case
Alex Blake: Star Chamber? Interesting name
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's derived from the 17th century British court designed to ensure fair enforcement of laws against the rich and powerful
Penelope Garcia: Actually according to my research they named it that because it's also the name of a mediocre, yet awesome Michael Douglas movie from 1983

David Rossi: Blake found one potential lead. It was the last client that Debbie kept before she went off the grid. It's by the name of Mr. Smith
Aaron Hotchner: Will Mr. Smith talk to us?
David Rossi: Once Blake promised that we wouldn't ruin his marriage. She's bringing in him now
[Blake enters with a woman and points her to the interview room; Blake walks to the others]
David Rossi: Who is that?
Alex Blake: Mr. Smith
David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, Dr. Spencer Reid: [All three at the same time] Aaahh

"Criminal Minds: Amplification (#4.24)" (2009)
David Rossi: [about the Army CID investigators] I've never seen so many alpha males in one room.

Jennifer Jareau: Last night, twenty-five people checked into emergency rooms in and around Annapolis. They were all at the same park after 2 p.m. yesterday. Within ten hours, the first victim died. It's now just past 7 a.m. the next day. We have twelve dead.
Derek Morgan: Lung failure and black lesions. Anthrax?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Anthrax doesn't kill this fast.
Dr. Linda Kimura: This strain does.
Emily Prentiss: What are we doing about potential mass targets - airports, malls, trains?
Aaron Hotchner: There's a media blackout.
Emily Prentiss: We're not telling the public?
Derek Morgan: We'd have a mass exodus.
David Rossi: The psychology of group panic would cause more deaths than this last attack.

"Criminal Minds: In Heat (#3.17)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Gets out of the car] Ah! Is it always as hot?
Derek Morgan: [Looking at girls walking by] Every day holiday!
David Rossi: That's South Beach!
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, that's not what I am talking about
Aaron Hotchner: They know

Detective Tina Lopez: I am gonna take the skinny kid and Derek to the dumpsites. So, I got my cell, radio if anyone doesn't give you anything, just call me
Emily Prentiss: Great
[Detective Tina turns and leaves]
David Rossi: She did say she wasn't good at names
Emily Prentiss: Remembered Derek
David Rossi: Wonder how she'll describe us?
Emily Prentiss: Oh, I am sure I don't wanna know!

"Criminal Minds: The Forever People (#10.11)" (2015)
Aaron Hotchner: How many boats are there on Lake Mead?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 1908
Kate Callahan: Come on! You just know that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, there are 1908 boats on Lake Mead
Kate Callahan: Where did you get that number?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Based on the population density of the area, I estimated
Kate Callahan: You guessed! I mean: is this guy really a genius or does he just says things with authority and we all believe him?
Derek Morgan: Oh wow, thank you! Ten years! It took ten years for someone to finally have my back. Alright Einstein, she just called you out, bring it!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look it up!
David Rossi: I am... And the kid's right!
Derek Morgan: Ah
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Kate] I accept your apology.
[to Derek]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Load up
Derek Morgan: Never!
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch secretly loads up with Reid]

Dr. Spencer Reid: He'd be a psychrophile then, someone with a sexual fetish for the cold
Kate Callahan: So let me get this straight: we're saying that there is a serial killer inside the cult?
David Rossi: Talk about a needle in a needle stack!

"Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders (#10.19)" (2015)
David Rossi: Do you guys eat like this wherever you go?
Lily Lambert: Pretty much
David Rossi: Then if you need another consultation, you know where to find me!

David Rossi: So, how many of these do you think we've solved?
Lily Lambert: Hum, enough for another best seller!
Aaron Hotchner: These are the endings we want!
Jack Garrett: Amen to that!

"Criminal Minds: House on Fire (#4.19)" (2009)
David Rossi: [about a serial arsonist] Whoever set these went from no victims to thirty-one in less than two weeks. That's a hell of an escalation.
Emily Prentiss: Why didn't they call us in sooner?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: The local police and fire department knew they were dealing with an arsonist, but they had no idea he'd become a killer.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most arsonists don't. They just like setting fires; any deaths that occur are almost always accidental.
Derek Morgan: Thirty-one victims is not an accident.
Aaron Hotchner: Police chief knows he made a mistake. And he learned the hard way that even though not all arsonists are killers, they do have one thing in common: once they start, they can't stop.

Derek Morgan: The bar matches his previous locations. It's another local hot spot.
David Rossi: Only five victims this time. Why lower the body count?
Derek Morgan: [pointing to a chain on the bar door] Rossi. There's something else that's different.
David Rossi: The front and back?
Derek Morgan: He really wanted to make sure nobody got out this time.
David Rossi: But why bother? No one made it out of the other ones.
Derek Morgan: Maybe he knew the fire department would show up sooner.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Yeah, we're faster now. Practice makes perfect. What the hell difference does it make? And what good are you guys doing us? You see chains, figure he didn't want anyone to get out? I could have told you that.
David Rossi: We're not criticizing anyone. Our job is to look at the same things you do, but to try and see them from a different perspective.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Sure.
Derek Morgan: Look, all due respect, captain, but you look at that chain and you say the killer wanted to make sure nobody got out, right? Well, we look at that chain and we see a little more. That chain is different than the first two fires. Now, either we're looking at an entirely new arsonist, or this unsub wanted to make absolutely certain that nobody got out. Now if this is true, that means something changed. Maybe his emotions changed. Maybe his agenda, but something. See, this chain tell us this is the fire that matters. This fire is gonna help us catch this guy.

"Criminal Minds: Normal (#4.11)" (2008)
Jordan Todd: Did I do that? Is this my fault?
David Rossi: No, kiddo. No way. They were gone before we even got the case. We knew he would hurt his family; we just didn't know that he already had.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] "There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." - President Dwight Eisenhower.

"Criminal Minds: Boxed In (#10.5)" (2014)
Stanley Holmes: Is this really necessary? I told you, I didn't see anything except for those damn kids throwing eggs at my house! I got to go to work in the morning!
David Rossi: Oh, I am sorry for the inconvenience, sir, but I am sure the parents of the missing child don't really care and frankly neither do I!

Jennifer Jareau: Nobody saw anything.
David Rossi: Even if they did, it's Halloween, could be in costume, we could be looking for SpongeBob for all we know

"Criminal Minds: There's No Place Like Home (#7.7)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: I didn't know you were a bad flyer.
David Rossi: I'm not. I just hate turbulence.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, turbulence very rarely causes planes to crash.
David Rossi: That does me absolutely no good at the moment. Thank you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What we really need to worry about are microbursts - a sudden downburst of air associated with thunderstorms - but small craft like this one, if we hit one of those at the wrong altitude...
[pantomimes explosion]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Get pulverized.
David Rossi: [to the rest of the team] I beg of you to make him stop.

Dr. Spencer Reid: All right, try looking for thefts involving body parts, specifically left legs.
Penelope Garcia: Okay. See, this is why I can't talk about how my day was at dinner. Breakfast, lunch.
[sees a search result]
Penelope Garcia: Spencer, you scare me.
David Rossi: Join the club.
Penelope Garcia: A left leg was stolen off a body a year ago at the Riggio Funeral Home in Tulsa. They never found who did it.

"Criminal Minds: Mayhem (#4.1)" (2008)
Penelope Garcia: Agent Rossi? We heard there was some kind of explosion.
Lisa Bartleby: [to a CCTV tech] We got this.
David Rossi: Where are you?
Penelope Garcia: I just walked into the CCTV command post.
David Rossi: Can you see anything?
Penelope Garcia: I literally just walked through the door, sir.
David Rossi: We got on the news it was an SUV that exploded. A black SUV within blocks of the Federal Plaza.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, God.
David Rossi: Now, do you have eyes there?
Penelope Garcia: I, uh... yeah. Yeah, I've got like three hundred cameras right there. Give me a sec.
David Rossi: I'm here with Reid, but I don't know where anyone else is. And Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Yes, sir?
David Rossi: Find them.

Detective Brustin: They found nothing at any of the sites that you told them that these guys were targeting. Maybe this thing is over
David Rossi: Or maybe that's exactly what they want us to think

"Criminal Minds: Alchemy (#8.20)" (2013)
David Rossi: How many small-town newspapers do you subscribe to?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thirty-eight. It used to be more, but a lot of them disappeared.
David Rossi: You mean went digital.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Same thing.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [a bar patron hits on Rossi] Who was that?
David Rossi: The fourth Mrs. Rossi, if I'm not careful.

"Criminal Minds: The Bittersweet Science (#7.10)" (2011)
David Rossi: So, is the doomsday bike ride happening?
Aaron Hotchner: Yes, it is. Tomorrow morning, 9:00. But, uh, I don't know.
David Rossi: I'm pretty sure Hayley wouldn't want you to avoid moving on.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm not avoiding moving on. I'm just not sure.
David Rossi: Not sure about what, going on a bike ride? Aaron, I know you think it's too soon, but you're no good to anyone when you're miserable.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm not miserable.
David Rossi: Ehh... maybe slightly uptight.
Aaron Hotchner: [laughs] All right, I'll give you slightly uptight.
David Rossi: If there's one thing I learned from Carolyn's death, it's that life is short. And you deserve to be happy.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, Rossi, out with it. Is Hotch dating?
David Rossi: I don't know.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, statistically, widowed men start dating much faster than females, but Hotch is refuting the data. It's been two years and 19 days.
Penelope Garcia: Venus is aligned with Mars, which means love is in the air and maybe we will get weekends off.
[Morgan clears his throat]
Penelope Garcia: What? Is he standing there? He's standing there, isn't he?
Aaron Hotchner: Hello, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Hello. Someone talk about the case.

"Criminal Minds: Sense Memory (#6.14)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Spin the wheel, and it is sunny Los Angeles, people.
Derek Morgan: Two times in one year?
David Rossi: Remind me again why it's called the City of Angels.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was originally called "The Town of our Lady the Queen of the Angels."... That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?

Derek Morgan: One of the drivers may have picked someone up off the meter.
Aaron Hotchner: The cabs have GPS?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Taxis are tracked more than Gaga's Twitter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What does that mean?
David Rossi: I'll explain it to him, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, teach him to worship the other Lady G, boss. Ta and ta.

"Criminal Minds: Lo-Fi (#3.20)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Who in the hell thinks they can get away with murder in the middle of the day in New York City?
David Rossi: Someone patient, who waits for the one who gets separated from the flock.
Derek Morgan: [pantomimes holding a gun to Rossi's head] Bang.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Is that the spot?
Detective Brustin: Yeah, thereabouts.
David Rossi: Are we boring you? Look, I know you don't like SSA Joyner. Fine, I get it. But we're here to do a job.
Detective Brustin: Have any of your people ever been cops?
Derek Morgan: Chicago.
Detective Brustin: Then you'll understand. I take it real personal if something like this happens in my city. I was a beat cop during the Son of Sam. This is worse. He's not just going after one type; he's going after everybody. And I need everybody working on this case taking it personally.
Derek Morgan: You have that.
Detective Brustin: We'll see.

Derek Morgan: [about telling off SSA Joyner] I know, I was out of line.
David Rossi: You get too emotionally involved sometimes. I know the feeling.
Derek Morgan: I just felt like Hotch was taking her side.
David Rossi: There are no sides here.
Derek Morgan: I know.
David Rossi: The word is, they have an eye on you if SSA Joyner gets canned. People talk. But if she were to get fired, it would be because we didn't solve this case.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, I hope you're not saying you think I want her to fail.
David Rossi: Of course not. But I've never seen you push a superior like that before. So would you take the job?
Derek Morgan: I don't know. It might be nice to finally be the one making the calls.
David Rossi: And dealing with the politics of running a field office? That doesn't seem like you.
Derek Morgan: BAU wears people out, man. Look at Gideon. That man was *the* best, and in the end, he simply ran away. I mean, Hotch hasn't even thought about cracking a smile in over a year. That man has to take a personal day just so he can have a conversation with his own kid. What about you? How many times you been married?
David Rossi: I get it. But I'll make you a deal. If I think you're losing it, I'll pull you out myself. But right now, I see someone who wants to get back on the job. Or is there another reason why you haven't even touched that beer?

"Criminal Minds: The Crossing (#3.18)" (2008)
David Rossi: The only people I ever made happy were divorce attorneys.

Aaron Hotchner: [Looking at a photo] You know, sometimes you can see it, but, uh, they all look pretty happy
David Rossi: Happiness is easy to fake when you only have a split second. You should see how many happy looking photos I have of me with my ex's

"Criminal Minds: Fatal (#9.22)" (2014)
David Rossi: [Entering Hotch's office] As my dear mother used to say, a penny for your thoughts.
Aaron Hotchner: Hey. Jack asked me to speak to his class about being an FBI agent. They're having career day.
David Rossi: Sounds like fun. Come on, every day you strap on the six-shooter and go after the bad guys. The kids'll love it.
Aaron Hotchner: Oh, I know. and I'm glad he asked. It just, I'm a little worried about it because I don't want it to end up being difficult for him.
David Rossi: Because of what happened to Hailey.
Aaron Hotchner: One of the bad guys killed his mom. And he's doing fine and we talk about it some, but I just don't want this to end up hurting him.
David Rossi: You're a good dad, Aaron. And I know you're doing everything you can to help him. And I also know you'll make the right decision about this, whatever it is.
Aaron Hotchner: Thanks

David Rossi: [closing quote] "A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it" - Jean de La Fontaine

"Criminal Minds: 3rd Life (#3.12)" (2008)
David Rossi: I have interviewed hundreds of killers. All types of crazy motives for doing what they did. They all share one thing in common, all of them: it's in their eyes!
Aaron Hotchner: 'Till what they hold most precious is gone... and then they're lost. Just like the rest of us.

"Criminal Minds: The Boys of Sudworth Place (#10.8)" (2014)
David Rossi: Well, at least we know that one of the unsubs is a football fan
Kate Callahan: Him and 636,479 other people in the city!
[Rossi frowns at Kate]
Kate Callahan: What?
David Rossi: Not you too?
Kate Callahan: I googled it
David Rossi: Ah!

"Criminal Minds: Gabby (#9.16)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: There were no calls but Ian's cell pinged off of three cell phone towers outside of town on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I'll send you the locations
Dr. Spencer Reid: Cell tower range and directionality can be dramatically influenced by atmosphere, electromagnetic and traffic capacity variations
David Rossi: Meaning?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A cell phone can travel to the same location but ping off different towers on different days, due to independant outside variables.

"Criminal Minds: Reflection of Desire (#6.8)" (2010)
Aaron Hotchner: I sent Morgan and Prentiss.
David Rossi: Only one victim?
Aaron Hotchner: It's what he did to her that concerns me. Morgan sent these, also late last night. He and Prentiss are waiting in the district.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The body seems posed. Left arm raised. Oh, that's first. I see your concern.
Penelope Garcia: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A photo wasn't all he took.
Penelope Garcia: Reid, what?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Her lips have been removed.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God.
David Rossi: Maybe a trophy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe he ate them?
Penelope Garcia: Okay, now I have that memory burned in my mind for the rest of my life.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You asked.

"Criminal Minds: Corazon (#6.12)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Attention, intrepid BAU adventurers. The land of Bermuda shorts, white leisure suits, and Sansabelt slacks requests your presence.
David Rossi: Vegas?
Derek Morgan: Arizona?
Emily Prentiss: Palm Springs?
Aaron Hotchner: Please.
Penelope Garcia: I was going to say Miami, but point well made about the dizzying number of locales with unfortunate fashion tendencies. Here we go.

"Criminal Minds: In the Blood (#9.6)" (2013)
Alex Blake: Fingernail polish was removed... crudely!
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: A mixture of citrus juice and vinegar. And when that didn't do the trick the polish was roughly scraped off with a sharp object
David Rossi: Not how I remembered my ex-wives removing their polish
Alex Blake: Well, this was done to her, not by her

"Criminal Minds: Rock Creek Park (#10.18)" (2015)
Agent Adam Fuchs: Well, here's what we know: these low level guys often do freelance work to pad their income. You need someone for an unsavory job, this is who you call
David Rossi: 1-800-thug
Agent Adam Fuchs: Yeah, pretty much

"Criminal Minds: The Uncanny Valley (#5.12)" (2010)
Aaron Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a woman. She's a collector. It's a psychopathology similar to hoarding.
David Rossi: So when we say "collector", we're not talking about stamps or baseball cards. It's not what your kids, or even you, might pursue as a normal hobby.
Aaron Hotchner: This is an attachment to objects that's become obsessive, by someone who is antisocial and extremely introverted.
Emily Prentiss: These people attach a part of themselves to their collection. If you try to separate them from it or take it away from them, they will react violently, even psychotically.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They've suffered damage to their prefrontal cortex. That's the part of the brain that regulates basic Freudian fantasy/reality. They can still function, like drive a car or go to work, even do their taxes.
Derek Morgan: In fact, she excels at goal-oriented jobs, like the precision of sewing, or the details of abduction.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But they've lost their ability to categorize the difference between living and dead, uh, belonging and loss. That has been irreparably destroyed.
Detective Marty Cotrone: So what's she collecting, women?
David Rossi: Actually, we think she's collecting dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically, replacing them. Uh, we believe that she lost the originals sometime within the last three months, and this is what served as her stressor.
David Rossi: She searched for a replacement, and when she couldn't find them, she started abducting the closest possible surrogate.
Emily Prentiss: Women of different ethnicities but a similar physicality.
Derek Morgan: The drug-induced paralysis is part of the fantasy. She puts her victims in a position where they can't talk back so she can fetishize them like the objects she's lost.
Detective Marty Cotrone: Um... look. I respect your analysis, but this woman kidnapped six women and killed three of them. And you're telling us this is about dolls?
Emily Prentiss: This unsub stitched a wig onto the scalp of her latest victim. It's a technique used to attach hair to porcelain dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And keep in mind, collectors and serial killers do share certain traits. Uh... a lot of serial killers take trophies, attaching the same significance to them that this collector does to objects.
David Rossi: But this unsub's intent isn't violence. She needs this collection to be complete so she can feel in control of her life, probably to overcome some trauma she experienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She really only feels that control when the collection is complete, which is why she's repeating an abduction pattern with living victims. If she loses a doll, or in this case, if she loses a woman who represents a doll, she has to replace it.
Aaron Hotchner: This woman works alone. We know she has medical training. Look for nurse's aides or orderlies who were fired for a lack of social graces. She can't fake a bedside manner.
Emily Prentiss: We believe she's currently working as a tailor or a seamstress, and we're following those leads now. But do let us know if you notice any overlap in your suspect pools. Thank you.

"Criminal Minds: The Good Earth (#8.5)" (2012)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Reid starts to realize something and his lips move]
David Rossi: What is it? I can hear the high-pitched whine of your I.Q. over here.

"Criminal Minds: Foundation (#7.18)" (2012)
Emily Prentiss: What about a few years ago? In 2004, did he give you anything?
Samantha Allen: That's the year he gave me Randy.
Emily Prentiss: Randy?
Samantha Allen: My dog. He was just a puppy then.
Emily Prentiss: Guys, Sam's father gave her gifts, trophies, from each abduction.
David Rossi: That's significant.
Samantha Allen: I didn't know that's what they were.

"Criminal Minds: Closing Time (#7.14)" (2012)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, guys, there's something else. According to the M.E. report, each of the victims was missing their genitals.
David Rossi: He could be trying to hide evidence of sexual assault.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe. Jeffrey Dahmer used to keep his victim's sex organs on display. What if this UnSub is doing the same thing?

"Criminal Minds: Soul Mates (#4.12)" (2009)
Detective Linden: [in reference to Reid] Where'd you find this kid?
David Rossi: He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI.

"Criminal Minds: Strange Fruit (#9.9)" (2013)
Penelope Garcia: Where are you going?
David Rossi: I got your text!
Penelope Garcia: I love you very much, but you need to read more than just the first sentence! The case is 5 miles away

"Criminal Minds: 100 (#5.9)" (2009)
Erin Strauss: [Strauss is questioning Rossi] Once the team located George Foyet's potential apartment, why didn't the BAU enter immediately?
[Rossi is looking down at his cell phone and ignoring the question]
Erin Strauss: Agent Rossi?
David Rossi: [clearly disinterested] Hmmm?
Erin Strauss: I asked you a question.
David Rossi: [holds up his cell phone] Gold is still going up. But knowing when to get out, that's the trick.
Erin Strauss: [irritated, shutting off recorder] What are you doing?
David Rossi: [disgusted] What's the point of all this, Erin? Why?
Erin Strauss: So this never happens again.
David Rossi: [contemptuously] There is nothing a bureaucrat can do to make sure that "something like this" never happens again.
Erin Strauss: So we just wait for the next bloodbath?

"Criminal Minds: Cradle to Grave (#5.5)" (2009)
David Rossi: What's this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's the pattern I've been looking for. The unsubs hid their tracks with the mothers, but they weren't so careful with the abandoned babies.
David Rossi: Did you find more children?
Dr. Spencer Reid: DNA-wise, no, but deductively, yes. I gathered all the records for all infants who entered into foster care in a two week window following each mother's death. Then I narrowed it down to babies that were abandoned at churches. This is where the guesswork begins. Monica Winmar's daughter was abandoned at a Presbyterian church. Let's assume the unsub, or the wife at least, is Presbyterian. That means all other unwanted children are gonna be left at the same denomination, right? That narrows it down to three babies left at three different Presbyterian churches all within this twenty-mile radius. This is where they live.
David Rossi: These kids you deduced to... have you looked at their files?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No. Right now I've only been tracking churches. Why?
David Rossi: Because you just uncovered another pattern.
[cut to Hotch in New Mexico]
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, we're packing up now. We can be in Phoenix in about two hours. Are you sure about this?
David Rossi: The names of the babies Reid found tells us everything. Lisa, Elizabeth, Amanda.
Aaron Hotchner: We profiled there'd be a type they'd keep and a type they'd put into foster care.
David Rossi: They're keeping the boys.

"Criminal Minds: Hope (#7.8)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, rethinking the type of offender he was seven years ago, it's possible the UnSub didn't sexually assault Hope initially but waited until she was older.
Emily Prentiss: Well, that would explain why he held on to her all this time. In his fantasy, he might envision Hope at a more desirable age.
David Rossi: What story did he use to get into the support group?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, he told them his pregnant wife committed suicide. Apparently they were trying to conceive for over a year.
David Rossi: Hope couldn't bear the thought of bringing his child into this world, so she took what little control she did have and ended her life.
Emily Prentiss: And that was never part of his plan. It turned his world upside down.
David Rossi: He's not ready to let go of the bond he had with Hope.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And now he's trying to get back what was taken from him.
Emily Prentiss: Wouldn't it just be easier for him to start over again?
David Rossi: Unless Monica could give him what he lost. Another Hope. He didn't take Monica to remind him of Hope, he took her to recreate her.

"Criminal Minds: Outfoxed (#5.8)" (2009)
David Rossi: Hudson, this is Dr. Spencer Reid.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: [shaking Reid's hand] Field agent Anne Hudson. The, uh, father is serving in Iraq. Three nights ago the cops found his family buried over there.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Buried?
Emily Prentiss: Neighbors heard the dog barking, came over, he was scratching at the grave. Lucy, their oldest child, she's still in her swimsuit.
Aaron Hotchner: What does the father know?
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Some of it. He was on patrol. Took his unit a couple of days to reach him. He arrives today.
David Rossi: Last year, the Williams family was killed and found exactly the same way. They lived in Newport News.
Derek Morgan: The father, Dan Williams, was also serving overseas.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Now the police are overwhelmed and getting serious heat from the military. We need some answers fast.
Jennifer Jareau: As do the media. They're already calling this the work of a serial killer.
Aaron Hotchner: They're right. It is.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: But why bury them? I mean, it can't be to hide the bodies.
David Rossi: It's a sign of remorse.
Derek Morgan: And when they're done being remorseful, this will happen again.

"Criminal Minds: Rabid (#9.18)" (2014)
David Rossi: Could be a form of torture, maybe a biting fetish?
Dr. Weinstein: Didn't know there was such a thing
David Rossi: Oh, you'll be surprised!

"Criminal Minds: Restoration (#8.18)" (2013)
David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] "I am dead. Only vengeance can restore me." - Terry Goodkind.

"Criminal Minds: Blood Relations (#9.20)" (2014)
Alex Blake: Start shooting! Start shooting!
David Rossi: Where?
Alex Blake: Everywhere!

"Criminal Minds: Bully (#9.11)" (2013)
David Rossi: Hey? You're sure you're okay?
Alex Blake: Oh yeah! I'm good
Dr. Spencer Reid: A couple of inches to the right and he could have hit and break your artery. All things considered you're extraordinary lucky
Alex Blake: Yeah, luck has nothing to do with it, I practically bullet proof
David Rossi: Yeah, I heard that about you

"Criminal Minds: Compromising Positions (#6.4)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Well, look at you, look at you.
Penelope Garcia: Meet your new communications liaison. Trial communications liaison.
David Rossi: Garcia, I don't get to say this often, but I had no idea there was this side of you.
Penelope Garcia: Well, I figured since I'm gonna have to interact with the mass populace, I should dress in the traditional costume of a mere mortal.
[Garcia widens her eyes]
Derek Morgan: What's wrong?
Penelope Garcia: It's my contact. It keeps getting weird and... There it goes... No. Yes. No.

"Criminal Minds: Faceless, Nameless (#5.1)" (2009)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Karl Krauss said, A weak man has doubts before a decision; a strong man has them afterwards.

"Criminal Minds: Mr. Scratch (#10.21)" (2015)
David Rossi: We need to get you looked at
Aaron Hotchner: I'm fine
David Rossi: Hey, this is not a suggestion!

"Criminal Minds: Devil's Night (#6.6)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [Reid is rambling about Halloween] All I did was ask what he was doing this weekend.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm toying with the notion of either going to the Edgar Allan Poe Shadow Puppet Theater or the reenactment of the 19th century Phantasmagoria.
David Rossi: I don't wanna know.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Oh, yeah, you do.

"Criminal Minds: Final Shot (#9.3)" (2013)
Jennifer Jareau: Who else uses a .308 rifle?
David Rossi: In Texas? Hunters... the Minutemen... housewives... which, unfortunately, doesn't narrow down the field.

"Criminal Minds: The Inspiration (#9.1)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: All right, Rossi, talk to me. What's up?
David Rossi: Only the sun. I like the sun.
Derek Morgan: Cute. That's real cute. Look, when I was the gym, conversation around the free weights is Hotch is interviewing to be Strauss's permanent replacement.
David Rossi: I know nothing.
Derek Morgan: Come on, man, you sure about that? Why do I get the feeling you're being a profiler?
David Rossi: If you have any questions about Hotch, maybe you should ask Hotch.
Derek Morgan: Ok, look, I get it. Doing double duty after the sequester, fine, but taking on a desk job full-time? You know what they say about desk jobs.
David Rossi: That's how you get the ladies?
Derek Morgan: No. Sitting is the new smoking. That'll kill Hotch, and you know that.

"Criminal Minds: Retaliation (#5.11)" (2009)
Jennifer Jareau: There's been an accident. Emily's in the hospital, Bunting's dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Is she all right?
Jennifer Jareau: She has a concussion.
Aaron Hotchner: Is Morgan with her?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah.
David Rossi: Where's Shrader?
Jennifer Jareau: Northbound in a truck.
David Rossi: A truck?
Jennifer Jareau: He has a partner.
David Rossi: What?
Aaron Hotchner: We need roadblocks, now.
David Rossi: Do we have a tag?
Jennifer Jareau: Uh, Emily remembered a partial.
David Rossi: Better than nothing.

"Criminal Minds: Run (#7.24)" (2012)
David Rossi: They say that good things happen to good people. Today is one of those days, and these are two of those people. We love you.
David Rossi, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Detective William LaMontagne Jr., Emily Prentiss, Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Sandy Jareau, Beth Clemmons, Penelope Garcia: Cheers!

"Criminal Minds: Brothers Hotchner (#8.23)" (2013)
[Before leaving with Alex, Erin has brief eye contact with David]
Erin Strauss: So I'll see you all in the jet tomorrow
[turns and walks away]
Jennifer Jareau: Could you be any more obvious?
David Rossi: I think I preferred you before you were a profiler!

"Criminal Minds: 25 to Life (#6.11)" (2010)
Erin Strauss: You want to arrest James Stanworth? Are you out of your mind?
Derek Morgan: He's got motive. Mary Rutka had a tape. She was blackmailing him.
Erin Strauss: It was a hooded figure. You can't prove it was him on that videotape.
David Rossi: He fits the profile, Erin.
Erin Strauss: Forgive me, but your profile sounds like a self-made man, not the psychopath you claim he is.
Derek Morgan: We said he'd be destructive. In 1998 alone, he fired 6,000 people from one of his companies. Some of those employees took their own lives. That is the type of power and devastation that he enjoys.
Erin Strauss: Hearsay. Slander if you're not careful.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, he got into politics to be hard on crime. He would have access to keep tabs on Don Sanderson.
Erin Strauss: And now you're sounding as paranoid as Don Sanderson. You cannot accuse a man without a shred of physical evidence.
Derek Morgan: Mary Rutka had skin under her nails. Maybe she left a mark.
Erin Strauss: And you cannot arrest a man based on the possibility of a scratch.
David Rossi: We can't arrest this man. That's what you mean. Don't pull any punches now, Erin.
Erin Strauss: You don't understand what the politics are, do you, Dave? You never have.
David Rossi: No, I do. I just don't care.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, all due respect, but we have an innocent man in our custody, and the killer is still out there. It just might be James Stanworth.
Erin Strauss: You don't have enough proof. The BAU functions without you. Don't push it.

"Criminal Minds: The Return (#9.8)" (2013)
David Rossi: How did Gavin know that there would be a cop in the diner at that exact moment?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Chicago has over 13,000 police officers, that is roughly 60 per square mile, and there are two precincts in a 4 block radios of the diner. My guess is just a matter of time before a cop would walk in

"Criminal Minds: Solitary Man (#5.17)" (2010)
David Rossi: So, how long is it gonna take you to get in that ditch?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Get in that ditch? I got shot in the knee, remember? My doctor says I'm not allowed to do any climbing.
David Rossi: It's a ditch.
Dr. Spencer Reid: New boots, huh? Italian leather?
[Reid walks down to the ditch]
David Rossi: [after several conversations about the crime scene,] Do you have any ideas why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
David Rossi: Well, I guess there is a first time for everything.
[Rossi walks away]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Rossi, I'm gonna need a little bit of help getting out of this ditch. Rossi? Rossi?

"Criminal Minds: The Road Home (#9.13)" (2014)
David Rossi: [Close quote] "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future", Paul Boese

"Criminal Minds: The Silencer (#8.1)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: So how does eight years locked up change someone?
David Rossi: It takes away their voice.
Jennifer Jareau: Doesn't take away their rage, it only makes it worse.

"Criminal Minds: Safe Haven (#6.5)" (2010)
David Rossi: Niko Bellic is the name of a main character in "Grand Theft Auto IV".
[the team looks surprised]
David Rossi: What? I know things.

"Criminal Minds: I Love You, Tommy Brown (#7.17)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: I will never understand this whole teacher lover thing. I can barely deal with a grown man.
David Rossi: What's interesting is, if it would have been a male teacher and a female student, he'd have gotten 20 years and none of this would have happened.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, she could get life plus 20 for all those murders she committed.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, it's funny. If she wasn't so pretty, she probably would never have been released in the first place.
Penelope Garcia: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's true. Unattractive female predators serve a longer prison sentence than their attractive counterparts.
Penelope Garcia: Wow. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's primal. There's a hierarchy to everything, including sex offenders.

"Criminal Minds: The Company (#7.20)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: I'm telling you, that's not the woman I know. She wouldn't do that.
David Rossi: Then, what is it, Derek? Why would she behave this way?
Derek Morgan: She said she needed to cook dinner for him. Is that what you cook for your husband? Would you make that for Will?
Jennifer Jareau: No. I might for Henry, though.
Derek Morgan: Exactly. When I was growing up, this is what Cindi and I ate. This exact brand. Hotch, what did your mom make you for breakfast?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: What do you make for Jack?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: Same brand?
Aaron Hotchner: Uh-huh.
Derek Morgan: She might have been cooking dinner, but it was not for Malcolm Ford.
Emily Prentiss: You think they have a child?
Derek Morgan: Yes, I do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We didn't profile that. There's no evidence of one in the home or in their lives.
Jennifer Jareau: Unless Ford keeps the child from her to keep her in line. I mean, that fits the profile.
David Rossi: It's a stretch.
Derek Morgan: It's the only theory that would explain her behavior.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, Morgan. Prove it.

"Criminal Minds: Coda (#6.16)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [sees Sammy playing piano] Whoa. You've been holding out on me, Sammy.
David Rossi: I didn't know you could play, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't. Well, I never have before, but it's essentially all math.

"Criminal Minds: Exit Wounds (#5.21)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [sees Rossi walking into the conference room wearing a suit] Wow!
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Sorry to ruin your night.
Derek Morgan: [smugly] What are you working on wife number four?
David Rossi: I see you people *way* too much.

"Criminal Minds: Hopeless (#5.4)" (2009)
David Rossi: [walking the crime scene] Victim one gets dropped here.
Derek Morgan: While number two comes around the corner to see what's happening, and... the unsub attacks him here.
Emily Prentiss: [indicating the dinner table] The female victims were probably here when the first attack occurred.
Derek Morgan: Which means somebody would have to control them pretty quickly.
Emily Prentiss: How many unsubs are you thinking?
David Rossi: At least one to move the body inside, another one to take out man number two, and one more to subdue the others.
Emily Prentiss: Well, vandalism breeds a pack mentality.
Derek Morgan: If it is the same unsubs, then yeah, we're looking at a group of three, maybe four.
David Rossi: These aren't kids. They're too efficient. There's control and precision. Juveniles are sloppy.
Emily Prentiss: He's right. There is nothing tentative about these kills. There's no experimentation. These guys know what they're doing.
Derek Morgan: I don't know...
David Rossi: What are you thinking?
Derek Morgan: I can understand vandalism escalating into violence, but that's usually gradual. An assault, a single murder maybe, but come on, this? This feel fully evolved.

"Criminal Minds: Conflicted (#4.20)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Where are we?
David Rossi: Honestly? Nowhere. We just watched our two most viable suspects walk out the door.
Emily Prentiss: If Adam isn't our unsub, he has all the makings to become one someday.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Tell me the question that he spiked under in the polygraph.
Derek Morgan: It was a control question to set the baseline.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was a geometric equation?
Derek Morgan: Reid, I really think he was just intimidated. He tried, he got it wrong, but he wasn't supposed to know the answer anyway.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if he lied? What if... what if he knew the answer to the question but intentionally got it wrong?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Why would he do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Because he realized that he wouldn't know that answer.
Derek Morgan: You're losing me, kid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Adam said he wasn't getting any rest. He takes midday naps because he's always exhausted. He has a history of blackouts, reclusive behavior, prolonged repeated abuse suffered at the hands of a dominant male who transferred abuse from his female spouse to his prepubescent child.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Where are you going with this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if our ubsub couple isn't a couple at all?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Dissociative identity disorder.
David Rossi: You think Adam's a multiple personality?
Emily Prentiss: Well, it fits. Recurrent physical abuse, knowledge he shouldn't have. We've seen this before.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at this. All right? The-the first intervention is timid. It's apprehensive, right? But then he gets knocked down... there's a moment of calm, and then his entire body language changes. I saw this exact same transformation when Adam left the station, only it wasn't rage, it was, uh... arrogance. Like... like the alter ego wanted me to know.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know. Power, control. All I know is the person that stared me down over there was not Adam. He's not assertive like that. He doesn't make eye contact.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So you think the stress of the interrogation blurred the line between Adam and his alter personality?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think the unsub surfaced for just a moment. It-it-it knew the answer to the question, realized Adam wouldn't, and lied.

"Criminal Minds: Burn (#10.2)" (2014)
David Rossi: So where is Garcia and Morgan? Are they finally having that love child?
Derek Morgan: [walks in] Heard that!
David Rossi: Busted!
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia is taking some personal time
Jennifer Jareau: Is everything okay?
Kate Callahan: I hope it wasn't those burrito's we had yesterday?
Aaron Hotchner: She's fine; Kevin Lynch will be presenting the case

"Criminal Minds: Birthright (#3.11)" (2007)
David Rossi: I wanna show you something. I carry this wherever I go.
[Rossi hands Caulfield a bracelet with three names on it]
John Caulfield: Your kids?
David Rossi: Indianapolis, Christmas Eve. One of my first cases on the job. Three kids watched their parents get beaten to death. Every year, I call to tell them I haven't forgotten, I'm still looking.
[Rossi takes the bracelet back]
David Rossi: Last year, not one of them bothered to return my call.

"Criminal Minds: The Big Wheel (#4.22)" (2009)
Penelope Garcia: The video on this film is analog. It's since been digitized, but it is seriously degraded.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Meaning what?
Penelope Garcia: Meaning this kind of degradation only happens over at least a decade and thousands of repeating viewings.
David Rossi: It's the only way he can get any release.
Det. Lynne Henderson: Then you're right, he's been doing this for ten years.
Penelope Garcia: Uh... more like twenty. That woman in this video, she's wearing a sweater I haven't seen since "Flashdance".

"Criminal Minds: Gatekeeper (#9.7)" (2013)
David Rossi: Right over there, that's where I saw Caroline the first time
Dr. Spencer Reid: No offence Rossi, but this place is kind of a dump
David Rossi: No, back then it wasn't. Back then the biggest names would come here: Creedence, the Eagles, Chigaco. It was a marine bar, they played for us, jarheads.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What was Caroline doing here?
David Rossi: Waiting for Ringo. Beatlemania was no joke. I mean, it would make the women crazy. She write them a letter once a week, begging the band to come visit
Dr. Spencer Reid: And they'd ever come?
David Rossi: Ringo did, after his divorce, but luckily Caroline met me first