David Rossi
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Quotes for
David Rossi (Character)
from "Criminal Minds" (2005)

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"Criminal Minds: Profiling 101 (#7.22)" (2012)
[first lines]
Aaron Hotchner: Morning.
David Rossi: Oh, hey. Morning.
Aaron Hotchner: Everyone's gathered. We're all ready if you are.
David Rossi: Yeah, let's do it.
Aaron Hotchner: You need that?
David Rossi: Listen, Aaron. Thanks for letting me set this up, but the whole team really didn't need to be here. I'm the one that owed the favor.
Aaron Hotchner: Everyone insisted. How you doing?
David Rossi: Sorry, what?
Aaron Hotchner: You okay?
David Rossi: Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm great. I'm good. I'll meet you over there in a minute, okay?

Derek Morgan: Does anybody here know exactly what a serial killer is?
David Zimmerman: Someone who's committed more than one murder.
Derek Morgan: That's very good. By statute, three is the magic number. And it's actually more qualitative than quantitative for us.
David Rossi: Today we're going to talk about how some serial killers get made. Because if you can understand that, then you can figure out a way to catch them.

David Rossi: The philosopher Voltaire wrote: To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth. The dead are the cornerstone of every homicide investigation. Victims give us a look into the killer's mind. If you want to know about a hunter, study his prey.

Dr. Spencer Reid: He dumped his first victim Rachel in an alley, but he took the time to bury Tina, which suggests he felt more connected to her and perhaps even felt remorse.
David Zimmerman: Did you ever catch this guy?
David Rossi: What's your name, young man?
David Zimmerman: David Zimmerman.
David Rossi: Don't interrupt, Zimmerman.

David Rossi: [San Francisco, 1997] Excuse me, I'm looking for the case agent.
Aaron Hotchner: That would be me. Agent Rossi, I'm Agent Hotchner, Seattle division. We spoke on the phone. I inherited the case from Agent Bidwell. Thanks for coming so quickly.
David Rossi: Yeah, I hopped the first flight from Dulles. Came straight from the airport.
Aaron Hotchner: That's a long trip.
David Rossi: With bad food.
Aaron Hotchner: Let me show you what we found. A jogger discovered the first body dumped in the bushes about 30 yards over the road here. The M. E. said that she'd been there almost a month.

Thomas Yates: I've got something for you. It's a present. Open it.
David Rossi: What is it?
Thomas Yates: Open it and see.
David Rossi: You shouldn't have.
Thomas Yates: Surprise. Those are some of the girls I took. The ones you didn't find. There's 40 there.
David Rossi: Why should I believe you?
Thomas Yates: I thought you might ask that. It's all part of the deal.
David Rossi: Look, let's get something straight. There is no deal.
Thomas Yates: Not yet.
David Rossi: Not ever.
Thomas Yates: It's actually 101 names. And I remember all of them. And I'll tell you where I put them. Here's what I want. One, no death penalty. I don't care if I rot in here. But no chair and no injections. Two, I want a transfer to the East Coast. Grandma's dead. Nothing holding me here. Plus, I like the idea of snow in the winter. Never really had that growing up.
David Rossi: I didn't come all this way to get smoke blown up my ass.
Thomas Yates: After I get my sentence commuted and my transfer, I'll give you more names. But only one each year. To keep you honest. You understand.
David Rossi: Anything else?
Thomas Yates: Yes. I get to decide when you get the name. It'll be on a special day of my choosing. And you have to come and get it from me personally. What do you say, Agent? Hmm? Deal?

David Rossi: Irish statesman and author Edmund Burke once wrote: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. This job isn't just what I do, it's who I am.
Devin: Is it worth it?
David Rossi: For every life we save? Damn right it is.
Derek Morgan: Absolutely it's worth it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't imagine doing anything else.

David Rossi: Yes, Mr. Zimmerman.
David Zimmerman: So, you have to go visit this guy every year to get the name of another victim.
David Rossi: That's right.
David Zimmerman: So, what was the special day of his choosing?

Thomas Yates: Any plans for the big day? Come on. You should get out and do something. Never know how many of these you got left.
David Rossi: What's her name?
Thomas Yates: I used to hate birthdays when I was a kid. That's why I like celebrating yours.
David Rossi: Her name.
[Yates throws a paper]

Bianca: Did you actually make a deal with that maniac?
David Rossi: We did. Not to bend to his will, but to bring the families of the victims some peace. I'd been on the case so long, I felt obligated to contact each of the families personally.

David Rossi: Thank you, Dr. Grant. Now, when she said I was an old friend, she was just referring to the fact that we've known each other for a very long time.

David Rossi: In simple terms, at the BAU, we use behavioral science, research, case work, and training to hunt down monsters. Rapists, terrorists, pedophiles, and our specialty, serial killers.

David Rossi: [in 1992, Rossi is at the morgue] He held her but he didn't feed her, so she's weak. It's his sadistic way to subdue her.
Dr. Castro: Several defensive wounds on her hands and forearms. She put up a hell of a fight.
David Rossi: Atta girl.

David Zimmerman: Agent Rossi, why'd you retire?
David Rossi: Well, that's a good question. Well, the simple answer is I... needed a change. I was working on my third divorce...
David Zimmerman: Third?
David Rossi: Yes, Zimmerman, my third.
[the class laughs]
David Rossi: So I needed a break, and I figured writing books might help give some peace of mind.
Bianca: Did it? Give you peace of mind?
David Rossi: For a time, yes.

Emily Prentiss: This focus on reproductive organs could also indicate a deep-seated sense of self-loathing. He might have hated the fact that he was born.
Jennifer Jareau: Or he had some sort of traumatic life-changing event associated with birth.
Derek Morgan: And he could have hated his own mother. The strained mother/child relationship is a hallmark for many killers.
Diane: That doesn't make any sense. "I hate myself, or I hate my mother, so I kill women by ripping out their wombs"?
David Rossi: It only needs to make sense to him. One man's logic is another man's crazy.

"Criminal Minds: The Anti-Terror Squad (#12.5)" (2016)
Penelope Garcia: The Bergstrom family was killed in their home in Winona, Minnesota last night. Mother, father, and little boy, all shot execution style.
Jennifer Jareau: Any suspects?
Penelope Garcia: Therein lies the mystery. The Bergstrom family was as low-risk as they come.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What about murder-suicide?
Emily Prentiss: That was ruled out. There was no murder weapon found at the scene, and both Bridget and Scott Bergstrom were shot in their bed.
David Rossi: But there was a survivor. A teenage daughter.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, seventeen year old Amanda. She was out past her curfew at the moment of the murders.
Jennifer Jareau: And she's the one that found the bodies.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It almost seems like a hitman scenario.
Luke Alvez: Maybe a mafia retaliation kill? But that doesn't seem likely in Winona, Minnesota.
Emily Prentiss: But it does seem like a revenge killing.
David Rossi: If the unsub expected to wipe out the entire family, he screwed up big time leaving Amanda alive.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Unless she had something to do with it.
Penelope Garcia: That's a question mark, but according to the M.E.'s preliminary report, she can't be the shooter based on alibi and time of deaths.
David Rossi: On the surface, they were a well-liked family living a low-risk lifestyle.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The daughter, Amanda. Where is she?
Penelope Garcia: Protective custody, in case the unsub sees her as unfinished business.
David Rossi: We good?
Luke Alvez: Mm-hmm.
David Rossi: We fly.

David Rossi: Bridget and Scott Bergstrom grew up in Winona and have deep ties to the community.
Jennifer Jareau: Scott was a local distributor of farm equipment, Bridget cut hair at a salon in the mall.
Emily Prentiss: And yet they were murdered by a family annihilator.
Penelope Garcia: Sad, but true. The Bergstrom family had their share of dirty laundry. Though who of us does not?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Scott developed a Vicodin habit a few years back after a skiing accident.
Emily Prentiss: So he could have been in over his head with his dealer.
Jennifer Jareau: So, Bridget was having an affair?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. I looked at their financials. She's got a credit card secret just in her name, with charges to a motel just outside of town and nothing else.
David Rossi: She might have cut things off, causing him to go off the deep end. Can you get us a name?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I'm already into it. You'll have lover boy's name ASAP.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What about Amanda, the sole survivor? Any motive there?
Penelope Garcia: Deep sigh. I hate that you're asking that. And deep sigh again, I am bound by duty to report the facts. There's a modest insurance policy; seventeen year old Amanda is the beneficiary.
Emily Prentiss: $100,000.
Luke Alvez: That would seem like all the money in the world to a teenager.
David Rossi: People have been killed for a lot less. That's an unlikely motive for the daughter, but we can't rule her out.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Whatever set this unsub off, he made the whole family pay for it.

Sheriff Wilson: Poor kid was so distraught we took her to the ER. They ended up sedating her. She'll be coming around soon. I've got a deputy stationed outside her room over at County General.
David Rossi: Good. If the unsub wanted to wipe out the entire family, she could be in danger. What about the wife, Bridget? We heard she might be stepping out on her husband.
Sheriff Wilson: Yeah, that was an open secret. She was seeing Ron Fergusson. They met at the gym. He was a trainer.
Luke Alvez: Was? What... what happened?
Sheriff Wilson: Sticky fingers. Ronny got caught stealing personal items from lockers. They called us over, but nobody pressed charges. Just sent him packing.
David Rossi: Fergusson sounds like bad news.
Sheriff Wilson: He's no altar boy. Couple DUIs and a few assault convictions; bar fights, mostly. But nothing like this. You don't think he's involved in this, do you?
Luke Alvez: The guy's got a temper and he likes to drink. That's not a good combo.

David Rossi: So, knocking on doors kind of remind you of fugitive hunting?
Luke Alvez: Yeah, a little bit. That was a... that was a one-man show, though.
David Rossi: And this is a team sport.
Luke Alvez: Yeah.
David Rossi: Yeah, well, that could take a little getting used to.
Luke Alvez: A little bit, yeah.

David Rossi: Just got off the phone with Garcia. Fergusson's alibi checks out.
Emily Prentiss: I can't even begin to imagine it. Her whole family gone in the blink of an eye. She's devastated.
Luke Alvez: Fergusson seems to think that Amanda was some kind of conniving shrew.
Emily Prentiss: Well, Amanda may well have been hostile towards him, but for good reason.
Jennifer Jareau: She wanted her parents to stay together. Typical kid. She was candid about what went on. She was genuinely baffled by who would do this and why.
Emily Prentiss: Agreed. That last text from her mom, that one's gonna haunt her.
David Rossi: What's gonna happen to her now?
Emily Prentiss: She has an aunt and uncle in Seattle. They flew in today. So it sounds like she'll be going home with them.
Luke Alvez: We know Fergusson's way too disorganized to pull this off, so where does that leave us?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, the family had their problems, but they were getting back on track.
David Rossi: And yet someone wanted this family dead.
Emily Prentiss: But it doesn't make sense that they'd be targeted by a family annihilator.
David Rossi: What if it's not about *this* family? What if it's just about families?
Jennifer Jareau: So the Bergstroms could be surrogates.
Emily Prentiss: Meaning our unsub will probably strike again.

David Rossi: [Prentiss watches Alvez and JJ talk to a survivor] Anything?
Emily Prentiss: He's traumatized.
Matt Doherty: I heard him walking. Then he stopped. He was in my room. Right there. Why am I alive? Why me?
David Rossi: Wish we had an answer for him.
Emily Prentiss: He's right. The unsub must have known he was there. If he was in that bedroom, he would have seen the puddle, just like Alvez did.
David Rossi: The unsub deliberately spared him.
Emily Prentiss: But not out of compassion.
David Rossi: He wanted them to feel the pain of losing their families.
Emily Prentiss: I think we've inverted our victimology.
David Rossi: We've been focused on the murdered family members. We should be focusing on the survivors.
Emily Prentiss: They're the real victims. The ones the unsub wants to hurt.

David Rossi: We believe the unsub is a variation of what we know as a family annihilator.
Emily Prentiss: The garden variety family annihilator is usually a narcissistic male patriarch experiencing psychological stress. This causes him to become homicidal and then suicidal.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His narcissism often manifests as rage directed at a specific family member, prompting him to murder the entire family as an act of punishment and revenge. He then blames the object of his rage for his violent outburst.
Luke Alvez: Once the entire family is dead, the patriarch typically commits or attempts to commit suicide.
Jennifer Jareau: But this unsub is murdering families that are not his own.
Dr. Spencer Reid: There's a distinct punishment component to the annihilation that's driving this unsub.
David Rossi: He's more organized than the typical family annihilator, with greater impulse control and a high level of sophistication.
Emily Prentiss: His sophistication is apparent in the fact that the object of his rage is deliberately spared rather than murdered.
Jennifer Jareau: This allows the unsub the satisfaction of inflicting ongoing psychological pain on the object of his rage.
David Rossi: We're looking for a male in his late twenties, early thirties. He's mature and highly intelligent.
Luke Alvez: Amanda Bergstrom and Matthew Doherty may be surrogates for individuals who wronged the unsub when he himself was an adolescent.
Emily Prentiss: Amanda and Matt both attend Pillsbury High School, and we have not identified any other connection between them or their families.
David Rossi: Pay close attention to the faculty and administrators of the high school.
Sheriff Wilson: A lot of the parents are wondering if we should shut down the high school.
David Rossi: The school itself has not been a scene of violence. Closing it would not deter this unsub.
Luke Alvez: We need you to beef up patrols and warn the public of the ongoing danger.
David Rossi: And we ask you to encourage the entire Pillsbury High School community to report any suspicious individuals they may encounter.

David Rossi: What's up, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Do you have any idea how many selfies the average teenager posts on social media on any given day?
[knowing Reid is about to speak]
Penelope Garcia: I'm gonna tell you before you say anything. So many. And, like, the guys, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, some studies indicate that men take twice as many selfies as women 'cause it's considered to be an acceptable form of male vanity.
Penelope Garcia: How many pictures of yourself do you really need? And they're basically making the same expression.
[realizing what she said]
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my god. Am I officially not young?
David Rossi: You, my dear, are the portrait of everlasting youth.
Penelope Garcia: I'm timeless, right. Good answer.

Penelope Garcia: I have been drilling into the social media footprint of both of our adolescent survivors.
David Rossi: Any connection between Amanda and Matt?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Stay with me while I go around here for a second. So, basically, both of their Facebook pages are just an outpouring of love and support from their peers. And it's touching, really, and it's very reassuring for the hope of our species.
Emily Prentiss: What did you mean "basically"?
Penelope Garcia: In between all the wonderfulness, there's a tiny tributary of nasty comments from some of their peers, saying that Matt and Amanda got what they deserved.
David Rossi: Well, they're kids. Kids can be cruel and thoughtless.
Penelope Garcia: Right, but we all know that cruelty is sometimes inspired by previous action, which made me wonder what Matt and Amanda might have done to provoke some of their peers to saying some of these things on their Facebooks. So I looked into their school records, and both Matt and Amanda have complaints against them for "harassing behavior".
Emily Prentiss: They're bullies.
David Rossi: Were they disciplined?
Penelope Garcia: No. To paraphrase the violent Femmes song, nothing went down on their permanent record.
Dr. Spencer Reid: So the victims were also victimizers.
Emily Prentiss: If the unsub was bullied himself as a teenager, that could be the original narcissistic wound that's fueling his present-day rage. Turning his surrogate victimizers into victims is the point for our unsub.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Bullying leaves lasting scars. Our unsub could be a teacher or staff member at the school who sees himself as an avenger of students who are current victims of bullying. Someone who punishes the bullies when no one else does.
Emily Prentiss: From the unsub's point of view, the bullies themselves are responsible for the violence he's perpetrating against their families.

Jennifer Jareau: Is Bakken our guy?
David Rossi: No. He has none of the rage our unsub has.

David Rossi: Garcia, we need the records of every student at Pillsbury who filed a bullying complaint against Amanda Bergstrom, Matt Doherty, and Austin Settergren.
Emily Prentiss: Also, anyone who received counseling for being bullied by those students.
Penelope Garcia: [typing] Wow. This is a really big pool. I've got twenty-seven names.
Emily Prentiss: Any of those students bullied by all three?
Penelope Garcia: No.
David Rossi: Like Bakken said, most victims never come forward.
Penelope Garcia: So I'm seeing the tip of a really big iceberg.
Luke Alvez: Nobody wants to be a snitch.
Emily Prentiss: Also, bullying is often so widespread, it's normalized.
Jennifer Jareau: It would only amplify the unsub's feeling of powerlessness.

David Rossi: The pool of suspects is still too big.
Luke Alvez: Garcia, can you crosscheck the names you pulled with any mentions on social media of bullying?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, that is a boss idea. I'm gonna do that right now, and...
Penelope Garcia: ...oh, this is interesting. I pulled up six names from my list, and they all belong to a private chat group.
Jennifer Jareau: Some kind of bullying support group?
Penelope Garcia: It's called the Anti-Terror Squad, but yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Emily Prentiss: It's an apt analogy. Ongoing bullying would feel like terrorism to those experiencing it.
Penelope Garcia: They warn each other about which stairwells and bathrooms to avoid on any given day. They walk each other to and from school. That kind of thing.
Jennifer Jareau: I tell Henry school's a safe place, but for these kids, it's anything but.
Emily Prentiss: Are there any mentions of retribution or payback, uh, planning?
Penelope Garcia: No. But there's a lot of content here. I'll do a keyword search. It'll take a while.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so these kids took back some of their power by banding together. They call themselves the Anti-Terror Squad, so they see themselves as righteous.
David Rossi: The unsub may be one or all six of these kids. Garcia, I need you to locate their cell phones.
Penelope Garcia: Sure. Um...
Penelope Garcia: They're all in the exact same place. All six of them are in a classroom at Pillsbury High.

Luke Alvez: All right, look, there are five cell phones here and there's six members of the club.
David Rossi: Garcia, what have you got?
Emily Prentiss: These kids would never voluntarily leave their phones.
Luke Alvez: Whoever's still got their phone, that's our unsub.
Emily Prentiss: If his friends turned on him, the unsub would experience that as a huge betrayal. He's been killing for them and he's just discovered they're not grateful to him for it.
David Rossi: [hanging up his phone] Okay. The kid whose phone isn't here is Kyle Ecklund. He's our unsub. But there's no signal.
Emily Prentiss: What do we know about him?
David Rossi: Bare bones biographical details. He's an only child. Mom left him as a toddler. His dad's an alcoholic.
Luke Alvez: That explains why he's mature.
Emily Prentiss: Without a reliable caretaker, he was parentified at an early age.
David Rossi: And now he's switched the focus of his rage from bullies to his own peer group. The family he's seeking to annihilate has expanded.
Luke Alvez: Yeah, but if we wanted to kill them, why wouldn't he do it here? Why move them?
Emily Prentiss: He's making a statement.

Penelope Garcia: Kyle Ecklund has been bullied for a lot of years by a lot of kids. I mean a lot of kids.
Emily Prentiss: He unleashed on Austin Settergren. What did Austin do to him?
Penelope Garcia: Let's see... Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay, so Austin was the ringleader of a particularly horrifying incident that happened a few years back.
Luke Alvez: We need to know where it happened.
Penelope Garcia: It happened right there at the basketball courts at school.
Luke Alvez: This place is a maze.
David Rossi: Garcia, can you guide us?
Penelope Garcia: Absolutely.

"Criminal Minds: Spencer (#12.13)" (2017)
Emily Prentiss: Thanks, Cruz.
[hanging up, to Rossi]
Emily Prentiss: This is bad.
David Rossi: I know. It doesn't make sense.
Jennifer Jareau: [seeing them approach] What's wrong?
Emily Prentiss: Reid is in jail.
Penelope Garcia: Jail?
Emily Prentiss: In Mexico.
Jennifer Jareau: What the hell is he doing down there?
Emily Prentiss: I don't know. I didn't talk to him. The call came into Cruz from their lead investigator.
Luke Alvez: What's he being held for?
David Rossi: Drug possession. With intent to distribute.
Luke Alvez: What type of drugs?
David Rossi: Cocaine and heroin.
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, my god.
Penelope Garcia: This can't be happening.
Emily Prentiss: We need Lewis and Walker here ASAP.

Dr. Tara Lewis: This has got to be Scratch. He was laying low. Now we know why.
Luke Alvez: Crossing the border as a fugitive is a huge risk.
Emily Prentiss: The reward is greater. He's been punishing the team. Now his target is Reid.
Stephen Walker: Peter Lewis dropped off the map after attacking Tara's family. Maybe he's been hiding in Mexico this whole time.
Emily Prentiss: We also have to consider this isn't related to him.
David Rossi: Who else would it be?
Luke Alvez: Drug cartels. Could have threatened Reid and used him as a mule.
David Rossi: Agreed. This could simply be a case of bad luck. Reid was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Jennifer Jareau: Spence's mom is okay. The home nurse he hired said all is stable.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, thank the stars.
Luke Alvez: How long did he tell the nurse he'd be gone?
Jennifer Jareau: Uh, three days.
Emily Prentiss: That sounds reasonable. After the Palm Springs case, Reid said he had to get back to Houston to talk to his mom's doctor.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Well, Houston is only a five hour drive from the border.

Jennifer Jareau: Usually I can read him. I can't believe I didn't pick up on any of this.
Stephen Walker: He didn't want you to, and there's no way you would have guessed he'd end up in Mexico.
Dr. Tara Lewis: The question is why did he go down there?
David Rossi: And why does he have narcotics?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, exactly. That... that... he... he wouldn't... he wouldn't do that. You got... I'm not gonna share any secrets I'm not supposed to, but those... those drugs were planted on him.
Stephen Walker: Absolutely, but there's something bigger in play. That's why he crossed the border and kept it a secret. There's something he didn't want to share with any of you.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so what would make him risk everything?
Jennifer Jareau: His mom.

David Rossi: What does the report say about the intent to distribute?
Penelope Garcia: Uh, it says he was charged with constructive possession, and in the duffel bag there was cocaine, cash, and three bricks of heroin.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, we'll be there in less than an hour. Dave, were you able to reach Jack Garrett?
David Rossi: He's deep in a case, but he promised to do what he can.
Emily Prentiss: Okay. We're gonna need all the help we can get.

David Rossi: Thanks for calling us.
Officer Cabrera: A U.S. fed in our custody isn't something we see every day.
Emily Prentiss: We appreciate you letting us talk to him. Have you gotten his tox screen panels back yet?
Officer Cabrera: No.
Emily Prentiss: You will need to expedite that. We have cause to believe that Agent Reid was drugged.
Officer Cabrera: He was definitely high and driving like a maniac with $20,000 worth of heroin in his possession. Both of which put my officers at risk. You're in our jurisdiction. The rules are different here.

Luke Alvez: Hey, Reid. It's good to see you, brother. It's me, Luke.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Luke. Thank you for coming.
Luke Alvez: Of course.
David Rossi: We're gonna get you out of here, kid.
Emily Prentiss: We need to work out some details with the locals, okay?
Luke Alvez: Who was your contact down here?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [showing them the scribble on his arm] Rosa. Rosa Medina. I think she's a doctor.
Luke Alvez: [taking a picture of Reid's arm with his phone] All right. Where did you meet her?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't remember.
Luke Alvez: If you saw her, would you... would you remember her?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah. I think so.
Emily Prentiss: [seeing how spaced out he is] You're missing time, aren't you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's peeking out. It's coming in flashes.
Emily Prentiss: And you've been drugged.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, but I didn't take it myself.
Emily Prentiss: No, of course you didn't, Spencer. We're thinking it might be Scratch.

Mario Casteneda: [at the scene of a murder] This doesn't look good for your friend.
David Rossi: Come on. We both know these things could have been planted in here just as the drugs could have been planted in the trunk.
Mario Casteneda: Framed for drugs, framed for murder. You're not even considering the obvious?
David Rossi: You wouldn't either if you knew Spencer Reid.
Mario Casteneda: We've both got a job to do. I'll get all this processed.
David Rossi: [to himself, as Casteneda leaves] And we'll continue to fight to prove he's innocent.

Emily Prentiss: We've got a disorganized crime scene with the offender aware enough to take the murder weapon with them. It doesn't add up.
Luke Alvez: Unless it was a drug induced kill. The unsub could have freaked out and taken off with the knife.
David Rossi: Reid told Casteneda he was chasing someone. It could have been the killer.
Luke Alvez: Yeah. Well, if they took the knife with them, they could have dumped it in the desert. And Reid's got a nasty cut on his hand. It could be from the same blade.
David Rossi: He didn't do this.
Luke Alvez: I know. But Scratch is doing one hell of a job making it look like he did.

David Rossi: How's he doing?
Emily Prentiss: Well, he's made some breakthroughs, but I'm not sure how helpful they'll be.
[seeing their anxious expressions]
Emily Prentiss: What is it?
Luke Alvez: They just charged Reid with the murder of Nadie Ramos.

Luke Alvez: We can't get him out of here, can we?
David Rossi: I don't know how.
Luke Alvez: He didn't kill her.
David Rossi: If all I had to go on was the evidence, I would swear he did. But knowing Reid, hearing the cognitive...
Emily Prentiss: Yes, he said there was another person in that motel room, but...
[she plays the recording]
Emily Prentiss: Who has the knife? Who is stabbing Rosa?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know. It's in my hand.
Emily Prentiss: You're trying to stop the killer.
[stopping the recording]
Emily Prentiss: Right now, this is just more evidence against him.

Matt Simmons: Well, thanks for the ride home.
David Rossi: Don't mention it. Commercial airlines kick my ass nowadays. You?
Matt Simmons: Once you've had the best, it's hard to go back.
Emily Prentiss: [approaching] I was just thanking Clara for helping us.
Clara Seger: Yeah, and I told her when one of us is in trouble, we all are. You guys have any other problems with this, we happen to know some people.
David Rossi: Love that.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't thank you enough.
Luke Alvez: Hey, it's all good, man. I'm just glad you sound like yourself again.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Me, too.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so here's the deal that Cruz made. We can stop by the BAU when we land, but then we'll drive you into the district and take you to the federal jail.
[taking his handcuffs off]
Emily Prentiss: Since you are under investigation for murder, these cuffs are going to have to stay on until you are arraigned, but you're not a flight risk up here.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you. Circulation's a wonderful thing.
Emily Prentiss: And the moment there's a chance for outside witnesses, these go back on.
Clara Seger: Have you talked to anyone about the legal team?
David Rossi: Yeah. Stephen Walker made some calls to the B.A.P. to get the best we can.
Matt Simmons: The B.A.P.'s a great group. You'll be in good hands.
David Rossi: Mark my words, kid. This whole thing's been a nightmare, but we're gonna get you out of this.

"Criminal Minds: The Good Earth (#8.5)" (2012)
[Reid starts to realize something and his lips move]
David Rossi: I can hear the high-pitched whine from your IQ all the way over here. What is it?

David Rossi: Childhood fears are resistant to adult logic. Sometimes you just have to wait it out.
Jennifer Jareau: For how long?
David Rossi: Well, if he's 23 and this still worries you, you got a problem.

David Rossi: [reads a message] That was Hotch. The doctor told him the placenta was scraped completely out of the victim's uterus. Every bit of it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, the placenta does carry special significance in many cultures. In ancient Egypt, it had its own hieroglyph. And the Ibo tribe in Nigeria considered it to be the child's dead twin.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, that would be helpful, if our UnSub was an ancient Egyptian or Ibo tribeswoman, but...

David Rossi: What is it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It could be placentophagy.
Jennifer Jareau: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Consuming it. In the wild, it's common for animals to eat their own afterbirth. It's super rich in nutrients.
David Rossi: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. So the UnSub might have harvested this last victim... for food?

Jennifer Jareau: Excuse me, everybody. I have an announcement to make. As I'm sure some of you were aware, Henry was a little nervous about going trick-or-treating this year. But he's decided to go anyway.
David Rossi: Great. What changed his mind?
Jennifer Jareau: The BAU did. I told him that he should go out on Halloween and try to figure out which monsters are real and which ones are not.
Derek Morgan: So he wants to be a profiler.
Jennifer Jareau: Ah, he wants to be his favorite profiler.
[Henry appears in Reid-like wear]

Penelope Garcia: What do you mean he's not going? Every kid loves trick-or-treat
Jennifer Jareau: Henry's scared! One of his little buddies told him Halloween was the only time when all the real monsters come out, because they can blend in
David Rossi: Never thought about that! Good monster strategy
Penelope Garcia: Hum, you did tell him it wasn't true, right?
Jennifer Jareau: Of course I did, but he's convinced
David Rossi: Childhood fears are resistant to adult logic. Sometimes you just have to wait it out
Jennifer Jareau: For how long?
David Rossi: Well, if he's 23 and this still worries you, you got a problem!

David Rossi: So, did you learn anything?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, Spence here does not like the beach
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't

Aaron Hotchner: [Picks up his mobile] Go ahead, Garcia
Penelope Garcia: I just hit the trifacta, but with two things instead of three. What's that? A bifecta?
David Rossi: Exacta! What do you got?
Penelope Garcia: Well, that's just... Anyway, uh, two missing vehicles, not missing any more!

Derek Morgan: He's efficient and well-organized. It's not easy to make four people vanish and then stay vanished.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It has been done before, though. Uh, political kidnappings frequently require holding multiple adults simultaneously.
David Rossi: Or they're already dead. Nothing says "can't be found" like a shallow grave in the middle of nowhere.

Penelope Garcia: It's been really bugging me, I can't figure out what Terry Rodgers was doing those missing five months. I mean, you can't sit on a park bench in this country and not leave a paper trail!
David Rossi: But you figured it out?
Penelope Garcia: No. That's just me venting.

David Rossi: I recognize that scowl, Aaron. What are you thinking?

"Criminal Minds: Collision Course (#12.14)" (2017)
Penelope Garcia: Ohh, our sweet, sweet boy wonder.
David Rossi: [approaching] He's strong. He's gonna be okay. We got a new swab from him and we're running it now.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, what happened to the comprehensive tox panel they ran in Mexico?
David Rossi: With the red tape between jurisdictions, who knows if or when we'll get those results.
Penelope Garcia: He should be here. We need him. His mom needs him. His mother! How's his mother?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, she cried at first. Said it was all her fault he was even down there. But later she kept asking when Spencer would be home.
David Rossi: Well, maybe it's a blessing she can forget.
Penelope Garcia: What's our next step?
David Rossi: Well, getting the kid home on bail pending trial.
Penelope Garcia: Okay. That's a good baby step. I can focus on that.
David Rossi: And I'm ready, willing, and able to post that bail, no matter how high they set it.
Penelope Garcia: [hugging him] Oh, my. I love you so hard.
[letting him go as her phone chirps]
Penelope Garcia: Hmm. Well, crime never sleeps. We got a case.

David Rossi: Prentiss won't be joining us. She's on Reid duty for the time being. This one was referred to us by a fellow federal agency, the National Transportation Safety Board.
Penelope Garcia: So, last week, two separate incidents. Two separate vehicles hit two separate pedestrians, crashed on the same stretch of road in Bradenton, Florida, just outside of Sarasota.
Luke Alvez: And they're sure they were both accidents?
David Rossi: No, they don't think so.
Penelope Garcia: Both vehicles were 2013 Meridians, and both drivers said they lost control of the cars.
David Rossi: The first pedestrian is alive, but the second one died of his injuries.
Dr. Tara Lewis: And it wasn't a vehicle defect?
David Rossi: That's what the NTSB suspected, but they've done extensive tests and they've ruled that out, along with hazardous road conditions.
Jennifer Jareau: [looking at the report] And they're saying driver error is unlikely, though the drivers suffered head injuries in the crashes and they can't recall any of the details.
Stephen Walker: Same make and model vehicle, two drivers saying they lost control. It sounds like they're thinking hacker.
David Rossi: Could be. Most cars made after 2009, regardless of make or model, are vulnerable to hacking.
Luke Alvez: Is there any footage of the crashes?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, yeah. Middle school security camera caught the moments of impact. Brace yourselves. It ain't pretty. Here we go.
Dr. Tara Lewis: [Garcia plays the camera footage] Oh, god. No swerving, no braking, and an unsub turning cars into murder weapons. That's terrifying.
Luke Alvez: It could be a whole new frontier for serial killers.
David Rossi: Well, Garcia, since your area of expertise is relevant on this one, I want you to join us in the field.
Penelope Garcia: [excited] Me? Going wheels up? Sir, yes, sir.
David Rossi: Great. Wheels up in twenty.

David Rossi: How's the kid doing?
Emily Prentiss: He's hanging in. I'm meeting with an attorney today. I'm hoping she'll take his case.
David Rossi: That's great.
Emily Prentiss: It feels weird to not be on a jet.
David Rossi: Well, we've got everything here covered. Garcia's keeping your seat warm. You just stay focused on Reid and give us an update when you can.

David Rossi: Garcia, what have you got for us?
Penelope Garcia: Just this. Two drivers and two pedestrians.
David Rossi: Well, the victimology on this case is going to be difficult.
Dr. Tara Lewis: It's just hard to know who the unsub's intended victims are. And the drivers, the D.A.'s considering murder charges in both cases, not to mention the psychological damage this unsub's inflicted, or the pedestrians, or both.
Luke Alvez: Any connection between the drivers and the people they hit?
Penelope Garcia: Just what we already know. Both drivers had the same kind of vehicle and it happened at the same location. Besides that, nothing. So what does the unsub want?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, he's causing death and destruction while exerting power and control.
David Rossi: And creating a public spectacle.
Luke Alvez: Maybe there's some paraphilia there, like an arsonist who likes to watch.
Stephen Walker: If this is about voyeurism, that might make it sexual, and if so, he's not likely to stop.
Penelope Garcia: [her computer chimes] This just in. One of the drivers, Marta Calderon, she's agreed to an interview.
David Rossi: All right. JJ, Luke, Garcia, you head the crash site. A special investigator from the NTSB will meet you there. Tara, Stephen, and I will go straight to the Bradenton P.D.

Stephen Walker: [listening to a witness's cognitive interview] I was hoping for driver error.
David Rossi: This is a whole lot scarier.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, how's it going down there?
David Rossi: Well, it looks like we've got a malicious hacker on our hands. And he's got a wireless foothold to the 2013 Meridian.
Emily Prentiss: Meridians are a popular model. He's got a huge victim pool.
David Rossi: Well, we're working on narrowing it down. Did you get Reid that lawyer?
Emily Prentiss: I'm on my way to the jail right now to make the introduction.
David Rossi: Great.
Emily Prentiss: I'll let you know how it goes.

Jennifer Jareau: It's a different make and model car. It's newer. A 2016 Schuyler.
David Rossi: Our unsub saw the new wireless foothold, and he's no longer confining himself to one street.
Jennifer Jareau: [looking around] I'm not seeing any traffic cameras here.
David Rossi: So how's he watching?
[looking into the car]
David Rossi: Jennifer, look.
Jennifer Jareau: Dashboard cam and a mounted smartphone.
David Rossi: If he's hacking both, he could use the dashboard cam to guide the car to its target and simultaneously watch the terrified driver.
Jennifer Jareau: It's an escalation. He needs more to get his thrill.
Pete Abadilla: We've got an eyewitness who says the car swerved to avoid hitting a pedestrian before he hit the woman.
Jennifer Jareau: He's narrowing his selection criteria. So he specifically targeted an attractive, dark haired woman.

David Rossi: This unsub is what's known as a sadistic symphorophiliac.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Symphorophilia is a type of paraphilia in which sexual arousal is derived from staging and then watching disasters, such as fires or, in this case, car accidents.
Jennifer Jareau: Observing the destruction he causes is extremely important to this unsub.
Stephen Walker: He enjoys watching the terror of the drivers whose cars he hijacks, as well as the impact with his chosen pedestrian victim.
Luke Alvez: In order to watch, he hacks traffic cameras or in-car dashboard cameras, as well as dashboard mounted smartphones.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Now, so far there's no apparent connection between the drivers of the vehicles and their pedestrian victims.
David Rossi: Instead, it appears the drivers are selected based on the vehicles they drive.
Stephen Walker: This pattern of vehicle selection was initially limited to a single make and model, but he has since expanded his hacking capabilities.
David Rossi: We believe our unsub is a white male in his mid- to late twenties.
Jennifer Jareau: This unsub is careful enough to select drivers based on after market add-ons to their vehicles, such as dashboard cams or smartphone mounts.
Penelope Garcia: Workplace parking lots would be really a good hunting ground because he'd be able to see the same cars over and over, and once he's determined that that driver is using those after market devices consistently, bang, that's his next victim.
Luke Alvez: His first two hijackings were in order to perfect his technique. And those pedestrians were victims of opportunity.
Dr. Tara Lewis: However, this latest hijacking reveals that he's refining his victim criteria. He specifically chose a young, attractive, dark haired woman.
David Rossi: It's likely this victim was a surrogate for someone the unsub seeks to terrify and punish.
Jennifer Jareau: This unsub may lack the confidence and social skills necessary to form healthy relationships, which could be fueling his anger.
Stephen Walker: We anticipate his next victim or victims to be young, attractive women with whom he has some sort of personal connection.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Encourage drivers to protect themselves by removing after market dashboard cameras and to refrain from mounting smartphones on their dashboards or CD slots.
Luke Alvez: That's right. If the unsub can't watch, he will not select that car and driver.
Stephen Walker: Law enforcement also needs to understand that the drivers of these vehicles are victims. They are unable to control the vehicles they appear to be driving.

David Rossi: Everything okay?
Emily Prentiss: No. I just heard from Jack Garrett from the IRT. We have a problem.
David Rossi: [listening, he lets out a soft sigh] Well, at least we got a heads up. Thanks.
[hanging up, he turns to face JJ and Walker]
Jennifer Jareau: Everything okay?
David Rossi: That was Emily.
Stephen Walker: About Reid?
David Rossi: She got some intel on the progress on the Mexican murder investigation. They found the murder weapon. It has Reid's blood and prints on it.

Luke Alvez: We're at Alyssa's house. Car's here. No signs of a struggle. I think he abducted her.
Jennifer Jareau: The local P.D. says he's not in his apartment and his car's gone.
Penelope Garcia: So then why the change in the modus operandi?
Jennifer Jareau: It's part of his escalation. It's not enough for him to watch anymore. What he craves is physical contact.
David Rossi: His confidence is up. He was ready to step out of the shadows.
Stephen Walker: He needs to be a part of it, and he wants to experience the moment of impact, even if it means he doesn't walk away from it.

David Rossi: We need an APB and to figure out where he's taking her.
Penelope Garcia: Well, in order to have an all-points bulletin, I need to have points. And he has hacked into the DMV and deleted his entire account, so I can't find a car he's registered to, let along a license.
Stephen Walker: Well, he's gotta drive a 2013 Meridian. Those were his first crashes.
Jennifer Jareau: Right. And he chose those because he already figured out how to hack his own.
Penelope Garcia: That makes sense. That narrows it down.
David Rossi: Cross-check all the plates of 2013 Meridians with named owners. The one without a specified owner is our unsub.
Penelope Garcia: [to Luke] Stop staring at me when I'm search engining.
Luke Alvez: I'm not. I'm sorry.
Penelope Garcia: It's weird. Uh... I got it. It's a vanity plate, WUKO. I'm sending the APB now.

"Criminal Minds: Assistance Is Futile (#12.16)" (2017)
David Rossi: All of these women were educated and gainfully employed. Totally low-risk lifestyles.
Luke Alvez: Yeah, but they were all found at bars and nightclubs, and they each had alcohol and drugs in their system, so they weren't exactly shrinking violets, either.
David Rossi: But drugs and the alcohol are probably part of his ruse. That means he has social skills. I bet he charms them in, like Bundy.
Luke Alvez: I just keep wondering why a sadist would use a love drug that makes you feel empathy.
David Rossi: Well, we don't know for sure that he uses it, too. He may want to maintain focus.
Luke Alvez: Well, if he's holding them captive now, he needs space to do that. Not impossible, but that's not exactly the easiest thing to find in New York City.

Luke Alvez: Okay, we got an ID on the victim. Name's Serena Adams, a twenty-five year old grad student at NYU.
Emily Prentiss: Exactly his type.
David Rossi: How long has she been missing?
Luke Alvez: Since yesterday.
David Rossi: He's moving fast.
Stephen Walker: [entering] Looks like he was living here after his mom kicked him out. He's even got food and water back there.
Emily Prentiss: This guy is somewhere in the city, and we're gonna find him.

Emily Prentiss: This geographic profile covers the entire city. He's used all five boroughs to either abduct or dump his victims.
David Rossi: He grew up in this apartment and it took a concerted effort for him to come back here and use it like this. So location is important to him.
Dr. Tara Lewis: If he sticks to his pattern, she'll be in her twenties.
Emily Prentiss: He blends in, he appears nonthreatening, and he's attractive; all traits that immediately lower most people's defenses.
Luke Alvez: Because of his job, he's also physically strong.
Stephen Walker: So not only does he have the tools manipulate his victims, he has the strength of overpower them, as well.
David Rossi: We also think he uses MDMA as part of his ruse.
Luke Alvez: As you know, MDMA is a popular drug; lowers inhibitions, makes for easier targets.
Emily Prentiss: Daniel Allen White will strike again, probably sooner rather than later. We need to find him before he does.

Luke Alvez: That doesn't make any sense. How do you go from being awkward with no friends to socially skilled and manipulative?
Dr. Tara Lewis: Don't know. The guy's got no online presence or social media. Maybe it's just some kind of self-help thing and the guy got some confidence.
Luke Alvez: I don't know. He's twenty-three and up until a few weeks ago lived with his mom.
Emily Prentiss: What if we were wrong and charm's not part of his game?
David Rossi: I don't think so. All those victims were smart, attractive, and out in populated areas.
Stephen Walker: I agree. He found a way to get close, and it has to have something to do with the drugs.
Emily Prentiss: Hopefully the media coverage will make it impossible for him to charm anyone without them recognizing him first.

Detective Baez: Twenty-six year old Lisa Jackson was abducted last night in Brooklyn. Apparently she was walking home from a bar with a friend when a man in an SUV pulled up, attacked them both with a hammer. Friend wakes up, Lisa's gone.
Emily Prentiss: He only took one of them.
David Rossi: He only needs one. Plus, two is a lot of work.
Stephen Walker: Was the friend able to give a description of the attacker?
Detective Baez: Yeah. Matches White. She said she saw him having drinks at the bar earlier.
Luke Alvez: He's out drinking. He's either arrogant or he's just not paying attention to the news.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Or he can't resist the urge to hunt.

Jennifer Jareau: So, I was thinking, this... this guy's M.O. is pretty sophisticated for a killer who's just started out. Maybe our first victim isn't his first victim. So I had Garcia compile a list of all the females with bone break injuries in New York City in the last three years.
Penelope Garcia: We ruled out women over thirty, girls under eighteen, came up with... 112 names.
Stephen Walker: Did any of them have drugs in their system, specifically MDMA?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, so good, new guy, who doesn't feel new because your deep, baritone voice comforts me. The answer is yes. But not all of them were drug tested, so we only have two that we know for sure had MDMA on board.
Emily Prentiss: Who are they?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, there is one in particular that caught my eye.
Penelope Garcia: Nancy Santiago. She was twenty-two, she was from Long Island, and she died after she fell off a rooftop during a rave almost a year ago.
Luke Alvez: There any foul play?
Penelope Garcia: Inconclusive. There was a thunderstorm that night, so the crime scene was compromised.
Jennifer Jareau: The police report says two guys saw what they thought was a male/female couple having sex in the alley behind the rave. When those two guys spotted them, he took off, left the female behind. When they got closer, they saw the girl was actually dead.
Penelope Garcia: The... the coroner said she had several broken bones from the fall, most notably a compound fracture, super serious, to her femur.
David Rossi: Well, if there was sexual assault, do we really think that was our guy?
Emily Prentiss: I want to know more. Send us everything you have on Nancy Santiago.

Luke Alvez: So that's how he went from socially awkward to socially skilled. The drugs.
Dr. Tara Lewis: That makes sense. His inhibitions would be lowered and he'd be emboldened.
Stephen Walker: But repeated use could mean addiction and a higher tolerance, so he would need increasing larger doses.
David Rossi: His mother was trying to help him, but she may have unlocked the psychopath in him instead.
Emily Prentiss: MDMA is supposed to enhance sexuality. If Nancy Santiago was his first victim and he was high when he killed her, that must have made quite an impression.
Dr. Tara Lewis: And since it's never as good as the first time, he's probably been chasing that dragon ever since.
Stephen Walker: He probably needs to be under the influence himself to complete the experience.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Yeah, but if that was him in the alley with Nancy Santiago's body, then why no sexual assault with his most recent victims?
Emily Prentiss: Because MDMA can cause impotence.
Luke Alvez: Yeah. Maybe he can't sexually get off, and that only adds to his rage.
David Rossi: That's why he's been so violent. Torture is an outlet for that.

Emily Prentiss: What have you got, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: I've got the 411 on that rave that Nancy Santiago was at the night she died. I've sent it all to your tablets. You can follow along if you wish. It is a roving EDM party called Reclamation, and according to their website, their mission is to, quote, "Bring light and rhythm to places long forgotten."
David Rossi: Which means?
Penelope Garcia: Uh, sir, that's the millennial way of saying "We have illegal parties in abandoned places."

Jennifer Jareau: Hey. What are you hammering?
David Rossi: Oh, uh, just hanging up my newest acquisition.
Jennifer Jareau: A "W"?
David Rossi: Well, that's not just any old "W". That, my young friend, is a symbol of victory.
[seeing her skeptical look]
David Rossi: You're not a baseball fan, are you?
Jennifer Jareau: Mostly hockey, and I do enjoy a football game.
David Rossi: Well, at Wrigley Field, the home of the Chicago Cubs, they fly that flag after every win.
Jennifer Jareau: Wait, you're not even from Chicago.
David Rossi: No. But I lost a good buddy in Vietnam who was. And, uh, since they won the World Series, I thought I'd commemorate it for him since he didn't live long enough to see it himself.
Jennifer Jareau: That's sweet.
David Rossi: Hey, what's going on with you?
Jennifer Jareau: I dunno. Seeing Spence locked up, it... wasn't easy. I guess I'm just a little down.
David Rossi: Do you know how long it's been since the Cubs last won the Series?
Jennifer Jareau: It's, like, a hundred years, right?
David Rossi: 108, to be exact. Which means that generations lived and died without ever seeing a championship. Can you imagine what that does to your psyche?
Jennifer Jareau: Hmm.
David Rossi: But that city and all those fans... you know what kept them going? Hope. Until finally, one night, after over a century of despair, hope won. And that's how we're gonna keep going, until we get that kid the hell out of there.
Jennifer Jareau: [quietly] Hope.
David Rossi: Keep it alive. Because I'm afraid, right now, that's all we've got.

"Criminal Minds: Wheels Up (#13.1)" (2017)
David Rossi: [referring to JJ and Will kissing] Get a room, you two.

Emily Prentiss: Scratch got deeper into my head than I care to admit, and the only way I was able to stay sane was by repeating a mantra, two words. You know what those two words were? "Wheels up." It saved my life when I wasn't sure I was gonna make it because it reminded me that you were out there fighting, so take your rest - you've earned it - but when we get back, wheels up, Matt.
Matt Simmons: Wheels up, Emily.
Emily Prentiss: Wheels up, Tara.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Wheels up.
Jennifer Jareau: Wheels up.
Penelope Garcia: Wheels up.
Luke Alvez: Wheels up.
David Rossi: Damn right, wheels up
Dr. Spencer Reid: Wheels up.

David Rossi: [speaking to Reid and Alvez] As for you two assclowns, you'll do me the courtesy of following my orders.

Dr. Spencer Reid: What's going on?
David Rossi: Shut up and listen.

Luke Alvez: Do you want me to find you some crutches or something?
David Rossi: I don't need them, I've got you.

David Rossi: Those spike strips took out our two SUVs. Then the truck blindsided us. We have six agents that are...
[looking around, he notices something]
David Rossi: Where's Emily?

David Rossi: You, go through my pants pockets and find my keys. Second, you, you're back on the team.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not sure I should be. Has the Director approved that?
David Rossi: I'm making the calls now. I'll take the heat. You're back on the team.
Luke Alvez: [fiding the keys] I got 'em.
David Rossi: There's a little one there, to a file cabinet in my office. You following me?
Luke Alvez: Yeah. Following you.
David Rossi: Inside, there's Chicago Bears season tickets. When you get 'em, you call Matt Simmons. I promised him those tickets.
Luke Alvez: They must have given him something in the ambulance to make him loopy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'll get the doctor. We'll get him into surgery.
David Rossi: Just shut up and listen. Now, Emily is missing. Stephen is dead. As for you two ass clowns, you'll do me the courtesy of following my orders.
Luke Alvez: Your orders aren't making sense.
David Rossi: Follow my orders, and then I'll go into surgery.
Luke Alvez: [he and Reid turn to leave] This has got nothing to do with season tickets.
Dr. Spencer Reid: "Ass clown"?

Dr. Tara Lewis: Scratch took Emily. I saw him.
Luke Alvez: Yeah. We know. We're looking for him.
Dr. Tara Lewis: He dosed her.
David Rossi: In the SUV while she was knocked out?
Dr. Tara Lewis: Yeah.
[flashback, with Tara narrating in voiceover]
Dr. Tara Lewis: He brought his gas with him.
Peter Lewis: Your legs are broken. Your right arm is broken. You're in severe traction, and you're paralyzed. You feel unimaginable agony all over your body unless I give you high doses of painkiller.
Jennifer Jareau: [the scene returns to the hospital] She would wake in a delusion he'd have total control over.
Luke Alvez: He thinks she knows where Hotch is, so he's trying to trick her. She's one of the smartest people we know. She'd see through it.
Jennifer Jareau: So Scratch would go even farther.
Luke Alvez: Sometimes interrogators even simulate death. Man, he could make it feel like the real thing.
Jennifer Jareau: No. That wouldn't work. Remember, Rossi, when Prentiss told us about when she died, for real died, how for her, it was just dark and cold?
David Rossi: That's right. If he made her experience some out-of-body vision, she'd know it was a lie.

Emily Prentiss: So, we all need to discuss what Peter Lewis' death means for this team.
Penelope Garcia: It means that Hotch can come back.
David Rossi: Yeah. We, uh, spoke to him. He was relieved that he and Jack were out of danger. They're out of witness protection, but, um...
Jennifer Jareau: He's not coming back, is he?
Emily Prentiss: He loves being a full-time dad. He never got to do that before, and, let's face it, in this job...
David Rossi: There's always gonna be another Scratch. And he's lost enough.

"Criminal Minds: Limelight (#3.13)" (2008)
David Rossi: When I interviewed Bundy, he had a theory about pornography. He said "If you wanna stop people from becoming like me, don't burn 'Catcher in the Rye'."
Aaron Hotchner: "Burn 'Hustler'." I read your books, too, Dave.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "I know indeed what evil I intend to do. But stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury. Fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils." - Euripides.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] "For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world, and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won." - Lucille Maud Montgomery.

Aaron Hotchner: With four known victims, we should start by re-interviewing friends and family. We're looking for a white male in his thirties to forties. And with his knowledge of circuitry and wiring, we think that he's either an electrician or an electrical engineer.
David Rossi: It's a job that may give him access to a victim's home or workplace, the opportunity to observe his targets.
Emily Prentiss: They're attractive, professional women. He sees them as strong, righteous, unobtainable. So he seeks to tear them down, to reduce them to base sexual creatures and punish them.
Aaron Hotchner: He's a true sexual sadist. A typology we refer to as anger-excitation, meaning he becomes sexually aroused by the suffering of his victims.
David Rossi: Killing these women is an afterthought. Their pain is what he's after. And he takes his time, to exact maximum stimulation.
Philly Agent: What about his trophies? He keeps their clothes, right?
Emily Prentiss: Yes. We believe he's using them for rehearsal fantasies. By dressing as his victims, he can relive the torture. It's during this time that he most likely pleasures himself in order to reinforce his association between suffering and gratification.
Aaron Hotchner: And when he becomes dissatisfied with this, he seeks out a new victim.
David Rossi: Keep in mind he's been this for a long time, and he's been thinking about doing it most of his life. He'll continue to evolve, finding new ways of challenging himself, increasing his stimulation threshold. There are no boundaries for this man.

Jill Morris: David Rossi in my office. Somebody pinch me.
David Rossi: You must be Agent Morris.
Jill Morris: Jill, please. Can I take you anything? Coffee?
David Rossi: Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like for Dr. Reid and I to get to this.
Jill Morris: Dr. Reid. Thank you both for coming. You won't be disappointed.

Aaron Hotchner: It's unacceptable behavior. Why do you keep defending her?
David Rossi: Because I know what she is. She is me, twenty years ago.
Aaron Hotchner: She is nothing like you, Dave.
David Rossi: Come on Hotch, I know what people think. I took serial killer's mass market. Now everyone knows their names, but not the victims, right? Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it. I can't go back and change it. But it's not too late for her.

Jill Morris: So you've come to say goodbye.
David Rossi: I'm afraid so. We've got real cases in Quantico. Cases with bodies.
Jill Morris: But if I am right about this thing, there will be plenty of those.
David Rossi: It was nice meeting you.
Jill Morris: [Rossi turns to leave] There was something else in the boxes. In "Eyes of the Predator", you wrote that collection of integumentary items is definite precursor: skin, nails... hair. This guy is for real.
[she puts an evidence baggie with a clump of hair in it on the table]
David Rossi: I'll call my team. We've got work to do.
Jill Morris: Great.

Aaron Hotchner: You got something?
David Rossi: Not sure. An old storage unit; case agent from the Philly field office sent it to me.
Aaron Hotchner: Somebody you know?
David Rossi: She knows me. You know.
Aaron Hotchner: Ah, a fan. Your world is a very crowded place, isn't it?
David Rossi: You'd be surprised.
Aaron Hotchner: This is detailed.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Future tense. They're fantasies.
David Rossi: That agent thinks it could more than that.
Aaron Hotchner: There's more of this?
David Rossi: A few boxes in the field office. I'd like to drive up there, look at the rest of the material. Make a judgment from that.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [entering the Philly field office with Rossi] How do you get used to the staring? I feel like I perpetually have something stuck in my teeth.
David Rossi: You learn to ignore it.

"Criminal Minds: Damaged (#3.14)" (2008)
[Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ have arrived to help Rossi on a twenty year old cold case, after he asked them not to]
David Rossi: Why do you care?
Emily Prentiss: Because you do.

David Rossi: Morgan, obsessional crimes are your specialty.
Derek Morgan: Well, there's two kinds of obsessional offenders that would send gifts to survivors. Sadists, who want to make the families keep reliving the crime, or guilt-laden offenders, desperately trying to find some type of way to apologize.
David Rossi: Sadists usually use something they know will remind the family of the person or the crime. Jewelry, newspaper clippings.
Emily Prentiss: These don't look like the kind of things you would send to inflict pain on someone.
David Rossi: So, guilt-laden.
Emily Prentiss: You know, they actually look like the kind of thing a child would send.
Derek Morgan: Okay. Well, it's rare, but an unsub who feels this much guilt sometimes commits the crime unintentionally. They tend to be developmentally disabled, extremely low IQ offender, and generally, well, they're physically large and they're very strong. Strong enough to hurt somebody accidentally.
Emily Prentiss: Like Lennie in "Of Mice and Men".

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "Within the core of each of us is the child we once were. This child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be." - Neuroscientist Dr. R. Joseph.

David Rossi: I was here on a serial rapist in '88. It was pretty short work. The guy wasn't gonna win any IQ contests. The day after we, uh, collared him, a local detective was driving me to the airport, and, um, he hears a call on his walkie of kids screaming in a house not far from where we were. He asks if I mind taking the job in with him. We were first on the scene. Inside we found...
Derek Morgan: [placing the case file on the table] Found this.
David Rossi: The ax had been left behind, but it had been wiped clean. It turns out it belonged to the family. The, uh, oldest daughter, Connie, told me her father bought it on Christmas Eve a few months earlier, to cut down the Christmas tree. Now I, uh, always associate the whole thing with Christmas. Never been able to put a tree up myself again.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he... he never hurt the kids at all?
David Rossi: Not physically.
Derek Morgan: But he would have known that the kids were in the house.
David Rossi: He only hurt the parents and then left.
Emily Prentiss: Okay, so using a weapon he found at the scene and not eliminating all of the potential witnesses, that makes him disorganized.
Derek Morgan: But he left no evidence, which suggests he's organized.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There was a fingerprint.
David Rossi: But it was behind the bedroom door. I don't even think he knew it was there. There should have been prints in other places, but they were wiped clean. An open back door, a... a drinking glass left in the kitchen. And that one good print... was not a match anywhere. I've been over this a million times. I... I keep thinking if there was just one more piece, one more thing to go on. The answer was right in front of me.
Emily Prentiss: He might be dead.
David Rossi: I have to be sure.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, if he's dead, you may never really know.
David Rossi: When we arrived on the scene... before any of the other units got there, I could hear them... before I even got out of the car. It was a warm morning and the, um, the windows were open in the upstairs bedroom. And their voices... floated out into the street. They were crying and calling for their mommy and daddy. Three terrified children screaming for their murdered parents. I've seen so much death and pain, but that sound... it's been twenty years and I can still hear them screaming every night... crying. If I can't tell them for sure that whoever's responsible will never do it again... that screaming might never stop.

David Rossi: Hi, Connie. I brought the team with...
Connie Galen: You need to stop this.
David Rossi: Excuse me?
Connie Galen: We thought that if we didn't call you back the last couple times, you would just give up and leave us alone.
David Rossi: I know that it hurts, but I'm only trying to make sure someone pays for your parents' deaths.
Connie Galen: We don't care anymore. It's been twenty years! We need to be able to move past it. Please!
David Rossi: I won't bother you kids again.
Connie Galen: And you'll stop it with the gifts, too?
David Rossi: Gifts?
Connie Galen: What are we suppose to do with... a bunch of toys that remind us of the worst day of our lives?
David Rossi: I never sent you any gifts.

David Rossi: Where're my notes, my original crime scene notes?
Penelope Garcia: Again, sorry, you didn't ask for that specific you used...
David Rossi: I have to say how to look for everything? What kind of a researcher are you?
Penelope Garcia: I'm not a researcher, I'm a technical analyst.
David Rossi: What the hell does that even mean?
Kevin Lynch: [coming in] You left the middle of my back totally unloofahed.

Penelope Garcia: [Shower runs, knocks on the door] There is no acceptable excuse for violence, but for you I am making an exception!
[opens door]
Penelope Garcia: Oh my God! Agent Rossi
David Rossi: This can't be everything
Penelope Garcia: I'm sorry sir
David Rossi: This is not everything
[walks into her house]
Penelope Garcia: I was taking a sh... your're coming in

Kevin Lynch: Agent Rossi? We need to talk, about Penelope, man to man
David Rossi: Man to man
[both walk away]
Derek Morgan: What about Penelope?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [singing] She and Kevin sitting in a tree...
[turns around and walks away]
Derek Morgan: Get out of here! Are you serious?
[joins JJ]
Emily Prentiss: Just when I thought nothing scandalous was every gonna happen around here
Dr. Spencer Reid: What? What does that mean?
Emily Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That song meant something? No! No I missed it
Emily Prentiss: It... it... You know what, never mind
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks around bewildered] What?

David Rossi: This isn't even a BAU case
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Maybe not yet, but I can make anything a BAU case, if I want to. It's about paperwork and I know the paperwork

"Criminal Minds: From Childhood's Hour (#7.5)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] All things truly wicked, start from an innocence." ~~ Ernest Hemingway

Emily Prentiss: Morgan and I were joking around on the jet, but something is definitely up. Is there anything you want to share?
David Rossi: It's nothing. Uh... I had breakfast with Carolyn the other morning.
Emily Prentiss: Carolyn? Oh! Is that wife number four or five?
David Rossi: Look, let's get our facts straight. I only had three wives. I mean, that's in the realm of reasonable.
Emily Prentiss: [snickering] Okay, I'm sorry.

David Rossi: A mother who wants to kill herself. What does that say to a child? That you're not worth sticking around for?

David Rossi: I am really sorry. I had to take that.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: It's okay. Fruit plate? Whatever happened to the usual bacon and eggs, extra grease on the side?
David Rossi: Well, I've changed. Okay, the cantaloupe is for your benefit. When we were married, you were always warning me about clogged arteries.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: And you would always say to me...
David Rossi: Nobody lives forever.

David Rossi: You know, I'm really glad you called me. It would be nice if we saw each other more than once every three or four years.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Maybe we can.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: So, give me the update. Anybody serious in your life?
David Rossi: Well, there are all those serial killers. They're pretty serious.

[last lines]
David Rossi: Hey, what's going on with you?
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Um... You know, I... I don't know how to say this, except to just say it.
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Last year, I was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease.
David Rossi: Carolyn...
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Like you always said, nobody lives forever.
David Rossi: Why didn't you call me earlier? I could have...
Carolyn Baker Rossi: Please let me finish. Because if I don't get this out now, I don't know that I ever will. I've had this disease for over a year. To live 18 months is a gift. The last few weeks I've started noticing the signs. It won't be long now. I came to ask you when the disease reaches the point, and I'm too weak or too afraid, I want you to help me leave this world on my own terms. When it's time, will you help me end my life?

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a male unsub in his mid- to late twenties. Physically fit enough to subdue Marlene Smith, and carry out a vicious attack and sustained attack.
David Rossi: We believe he sees himself as a rescuer, taking children away from unfit parents. He may very well have abandonment issues from his own childhood.
Derek Morgan: The impulsive nature of committing the murder out in the open suggests that he's inexperienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The violence on Marlene Smith went from precision to frenzy, which points to someone with classic psychopathic traits; quick to rage and quick to recover.
Emily Prentiss: He also appears to have insider knowledge of the families in these cases, so we need to look for someone who was privy to what went on behind those closed doors.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Emergency personnel were called to the Smith house after both suicide attempts, and once to the Tanner house after the mother overdosed on prescription drugs.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That means first responders, Child Service workers, ambulance personnel. Both missing children apparently went without struggle or protest. That makes us think that they had prior contact with the person we're looking for.
David Rossi: Or they inherently trust who he is by the virtue of his job. The uniform he wears; doctor, mailman, policeman.
Derek Morgan: So far, the violence has been directed to the offending parent, but we don't know what the unsub's endgame is.
Emily Prentiss: We have written up a media release on precautions the public needs to take.
Aaron Hotchner: And we've taken the second mother into protective custody, thus depriving him of his target. This will increase his volatility.
David Rossi: That's why it's critical we find these kids. If they are alive, he may turn his violence against the children themselves.

David Rossi: We got all the kids back safe. Think about it, Aaron. How often does that happen?
Aaron Hotchner: Not often enough.

Carolyn Baker Rossi: The Cioppino was delicious.
David Rossi: You gotta love any dish that recommends the wearing of a bib.

"Criminal Minds: About Face (#3.6)" (2007)
David Rossi: We didn't have that ten years ago.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What do you mean?
David Rossi: Communications coordinator.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You guys can catch up on the jet.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Oh yeah, that'd be great.
David Rossi: The jet?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We have a jet now.
David Rossi: Are you serious?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Oh yeah, it comes in pretty handy.

David Rossi: She's different.
[after Garcia leaves]
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You have no idea.

David Rossi: Now your face is going to be on one of those tapes. When I find it, I'm going to paper the city with it, just like you did with those women. Everyone will see it. They won't be able to ignore you now. But you won't inspire fear, you'll inspire hatred and ridicule because the only power someone like you has is a mask. Once that mask is removed you'll be as insignificant as you've always been. A loser!

David Rossi: His hand needs to be forced.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I know that Dave. The point is you did it by forcing ours.

Erin Strauss: So, you're coming in, in a subordinate position?
David Rossi: Is that a question?
Erin Strauss: The question is why.
David Rossi: To help.
Erin Strauss: Completely selfless act.
David Rossi: That's so hard to believe?
Erin Strauss: Yes.
David Rossi: I missed you too, Erin.

David Rossi: Relax Hotch. I've got this.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: That's the problem, Dave. There is no *I*. We function as a team.

David Rossi: You said out there, team shares everything.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: That's right.
David Rossi: There is no *I*?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Yeah.
David Rossi: It seems a big thing to withhold separating from your wife and child.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What are you talking about?
David Rossi: You used to call Haley ten times a day. We've been together 48 hours and I haven't seen you call her once or mention her. And you're not going home now.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What's your point?
David Rossi: I guess you are not used to sharing.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: My private life is not the same as a case.
David Rossi: I'm just saying, sharing is a learning skill.

Penelope Garcia: [Rossi calls] Speak and be recognized by your empress, mortal!
David Rossi: Is this the technical analyst girl?
Penelope Garcia: Who is this?
David Rossi: Dr. Reid said that this was your direct line from the team.
Penelope Garcia: It is
David Rossi: This is agent Dave Rossi. We met yesterday
Penelope Garcia: Oh, of course, of course. I am sorry, sir.

"Criminal Minds: Alchemy (#8.20)" (2013)
David Rossi: How many small-town newspapers do you subscribe to?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thirty-eight. It used to be more, but a lot of them disappeared.
David Rossi: You mean gone digital.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Same thing.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [a bar patron hits on Rossi] Who was that?
David Rossi: That was the fourth Mrs. Rossi, if I'm not careful.

David Rossi: You haven't been sleeping, have you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't. There's too much work to do.

David Rossi: [opening, voiceover] "Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

David Rossi: Reid, you okay?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah. There's no shortage of enemies to the logging industry, from climate change environmentalists to animal rights activists. Native Americans with longstanding territory disputes.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Solanine is a potent toxin and hallucinogen that comes from a black nightshade plant. The unripe berries were used in the Middle Ages for torture. The effect it has is like a bad acid trip.
David Rossi: That's not fun. Trust me.
Dr. Spencer Reid: More recently it's been used in small doses for asthma.

David Rossi: Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Sal? He liked to fix up old cars. When my Aunt Rosie died, he bought a 1947 Buick. Well, it was a piece of junk, really, but he was obsessed with it. He'd work on it day and night, forgetting to eat, until it was a thing of beauty. Then one day, it got stolen. When the cops found it, it had been completely vandalized. Uncle Sal was devastated. Never recovered. He died about a year later.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm sorry about your uncle.
David Rossi: I'm sorry about Maeve. So, how long has it been now? Four months?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Three months and 15 days.
David Rossi: That's why you're not sleeping. This can't go on.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I realize that the socially acceptable amount of time to wallow in grief is coming to an end, and...
David Rossi: That's not what I mean. You wallow as long as you need, but talk to someone.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I feel like there are two types of people in this world, Rossi. The ones that get over their grief and move on, and the ones that descend into some sort of endless misery.
David Rossi: I know how you feel. Give it time.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How much time? I thought by coming to work every day and helping other people, the pain would lessen, but it hasn't.
David Rossi: Compartmentalization works only so long. Don't be like Uncle Sal.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know that I remember every single word we ever said to each other?
David Rossi: Finally, the downside to an eidetic memory. Listen, Spencer. If you want to feel better, you can't control the process. You have to let yourself grieve.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm not sleeping because when I do, I dream of Maeve. And when I see her, I feel the sweetest relief imaginable. She always asks me to dance, but I can't because I don't know how to dance, and because I never even got to touch her when she was alive. I know if I give into that fantasy, I'll be lost forever, so I force myself to wake up. Is that part of normal healing?

David Rossi: It's alchemy. Alchemy turns common metals into precious ones. Dreams work the same way. Turning something awful into... something better.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know. I'd like to believe that, but...
David Rossi: Just think about it. No. Better yet, don't think. Just let it happen, Spencer. I'm gonna get some shuteye. You should, too.

Derek Morgan: We believe that the unsub that we're looking for is a woman who's trying to get pregnant. She's experiencing what we call black widow maternal desire. She has a desperate need for a child, which most likely stems from the recent loss of one.
Alex Blake: That child may have died or been taken away in a custody situation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She's drugging her male victims in order to keep them under her control for forty-eight hours, and we believe she's using them as breeding partners to help replace the child that she lost.
David Rossi: Her victims are surrogates for a male figure in her life. One she may have already killed. He could be a boyfriend or husband who most likely fathered the child she lost.
Aaron Hotchner: And the signs of torture indicate that she may blame the child's father for this loss and is exacting her revenge on these victims.
Alex Blake: After they're dead, she dismembers them for easier disposal.
Derek Morgan: The strength required to do this, and transport body parts, it's likely that she's working with a submissive partner she dominates with her agenda.
David Rossi: Based on the sophistication and patience required for these crimes, we believe this unsub is probably in her thirties and no older than her early forties, if pregnancy is her goal.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: And she works at night, luring victims from parties or bars. She may even have an illness, or feign one to gain their sympathy.
Aaron Hotchner: Chad Dumont's been missing for almost thirty hours, and if the unsub keeps to her schedule, he may still be alive. But time is of the essence.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Even though the first two victims are dead, we can certainly step up our game so we can give the victims' families some answers
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you.

"Criminal Minds: The Fallen (#8.7)" (2012)
David Rossi: [opening, voiceover] "You never find yourself face the truth." - Pearl Bailey

Harrison Scott: You remember what they did to him over there?
David Rossi: He was captured outside Hue, I think.
Harrison Scott: They held him for three nights. No eyes. No ears. No arms.
David Rossi: But he was still alive.
Harrison Scott: You remember why they did that to him? Hell, you were the first one to figure it out.
David Rossi: Fear. They were trying to scare us.
Harrison Scott: Same thing's happening here.

David Rossi: That's pretty brave what you did, running into that fire on your own.
Chad Mills: Yeah? Look how that turned out.
Derek Morgan: I don't know, if you ask me, I say it was pretty stupid.
Chad Mills: Stupid?
Derek Morgan: Yeah, that's right. You went in without protective gear. Looks like maybe you were trying to prove something.
Jennifer Jareau: Third generation fireman. What's there to prove? It's in his genes.
Derek Morgan: Quite a legacy to try to live up to. But you just wanted to be the best, didn't you?
Chad Mills: I am the best!
David Rossi: Guess we'll never know for sure.
Chad Mills: My whole life, I knew I was gonna be a fireman. That I would matter!
Jennifer Jareau: You do matter, Chad. Everyone matters.
Chad Mills: Not him! He doesn't.
David Rossi: That man is a marine. He risked his life to protect us. You telling me that doesn't matter?

David Rossi: Do you know why I joined the FBI?
Harrison Scott: If you say...
David Rossi: Because of you. You could say the corps changed me, or the war. But it was you who made me honest. So, please, be honest with me now. What are you running from?

David Rossi: [closing, voiceover] "I am not concerned that you have fallen. I am concerned that you will rise." - Abraham Lincoln

Harrison Scott: Your training paid off
David Rossi: Thanks to you!
Harrison Scott: I did my job
David Rossi: No, you did a lot more than that! I was a screw up and you knew it
Harrison Scott: Yeah, maybe at first, but you showed potential

Harrison Scott: [Walking in a back alley] This is my home, David
David Rossi: This is no way for a war hero to live
Harrison Scott: You know how many veterans are on the street?
David Rossi: Too many!
Harrison Scott: More every day! This is not glamorous, but... it's me
David Rossi: No, it's not

David Rossi: [discovering his old Marine sergeant homeless and living on the streets] How long have you lived like this?
Harrison Scott: I worked construction for a while, but no one wants an old man on the job when they can get somebody younger and cheaper.
David Rossi: How long?
Harrison Scott: A year. Maybe five. It's hard to keep track without a watch.
David Rossi: Then let me help you.
Harrison Scott: If I had wanted your help, I would have asked for it.

"Criminal Minds: Zoe's Reprise (#4.15)" (2009)
David Rossi: I think he went back to relive his crime. When Zoe showed up, she became a victim of opportunity.
Aaron Hotchner: That's the same theory we arrived at on the plane. He strangled her with her own scarf. He didn't plan it, I think she surprised him.
David Rossi: I told her not to stop until she found the answers she was looking for. I didn't think she'd go to a crime scene.
Aaron Hotchner: Her mom said it's something that she does all the time. She probably would have gone anyway.
David Rossi: But it's because of what I said that she was encouraged to go there last night.
Aaron Hotchner: Dave, what are you doing?
David Rossi: She came to me and I dismissed her.
Aaron Hotchner: Try not to personalize it.
David Rossi: I was the last one she talked to before she was murdered. How is this not personal, Aaron?

David Rossi: Why do people want to hear me talk about serial killers? Is it that entertaining?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There's a public fascination with them.
David Rossi: Sometimes I wonder if my books are doing more harm than good.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: My senior year at Georgetown, I was graduating and I did not have a clue what I was gonna do with my life. And one day, I was in the campus bookstore and you were there. Promoting your... second book? Sat through your whole talk.
David Rossi: You never told me.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I asked you what it was you were most proud of, and you showed us a picture of a boy from Charleston.
David Rossi: Brent Roberts. A neighbor took him.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: He was found alive. One of the few. That night, I bought your book. Applied to the academy the next fall.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Victim one, Travis Bartlett, was last seen at a gay bar. He was shot at night in a park. Victim two, Lily Nicks, a thirty-four year old prostitute, her throat was slashed. Victims three and four, June Appleby and Troy Wertsler, were shot in their car at a parking lot outside of a movie theater. And victim five was a twenty-eight year old single woman, Kayla James, killed in her home. She was bound, suffocated with a bag over her head, evidence of rape.
Emily Prentiss: And then the sixth victim was Zoe.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Victimology, weapons used, and C.O.D. are all different. I mean, it's hard to imagine it's even the same unsub.
David Rossi: It can't be a coincidence that Zoe goes to Kayla James' house and gets murdered.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, let's say it is the same killer. Does anybody see a pattern?
Emily Prentiss: Well, maybe. Okay, in the first crime, he shoots the victim. The second crime, he rapes a woman and slashes her throat; that's more personal. And the third crime, he escalates to killing two people, and the fourth, he escalates even more by raping a woman, binding her, and suffocating her.
Aaron Hotchner: So if it is the same unsub, you could argue that there's a progression of violence with every kill.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It could be an anger excitation offender getting more daring with each crime.
Derek Morgan: I think I got something here. Look at this. The slashes in the prostitute's throat, they're all shallow, unsure cuts. The Kayla James crime scene, telephone cord, rope, and duct tape were used. It's like he couldn't decide how to bind her.
Aaron Hotchner: So without a gun, he's sloppy, inexperienced.
Derek Morgan: The young couple shot in the car... that crime scene remind you of anything?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they were shot with a .44 Bulldog, just like the Son of Sam used on his victims, which were also young couples in parked cars. It might be nothing, but you're right, there is a parallel there.
Emily Prentiss: With the second victim, it's hard not to think of Jack the Ripper. The obvious similarity being it's a prostitute whose throat was slashed.
Aaron Hotchner: Kayla James was bound, tortured, raped, with a plastic bag over her head, like BTK.
Derek Morgan: What about victim number one?
David Rossi: Garcia, what neighborhood was he found in?
Penelope Garcia: At a park in the Kingsbury Run area.
David Rossi: Zoe reminded me last night that Cleveland's most famous serial killer was the Butcher of Kingsbury Run. He found his victims in gay bars, shot them, and dumped their body there. Travis Bartlett was last seen at a gay bar, and his body was found in Kingsbury Park.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So these are copycats of famous serial killers?
David Rossi: He's a serial killer studying serial killers.
Aaron Hotchner: See you in Cleveland, Dave.

David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] "I never teach my pupils, I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn." - Albert Einstein.

David Rossi: [closing quotation, voiceover] Austrian novelist Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach wrote "In youth, we learn. In age, we understand."

[last lines]
Sheila Hawkes: [finding Rossi at Zoe's grave] I hear you caught him.
David Rossi: We did.
Sheila Hawkes: Is he going to prison?
David Rossi: For the rest of his life.
Sheila Hawkes: It doesn't make me feel better. He's alive, Zoe's not. But she'd be pleased that you caught him.
David Rossi: I hope so.

David Rossi: Well, what kind of homicides are we talking about?
Zoe Hawkes: Okay. Um, a man was shot in the park, a prostitute was found with her throat slashed, a couple was found shot in their car, a woman was killed in a burglary
David Rossi: Do you know what three things profilers look at to link serial crimes?
Zoe Hawkes: Victimology, modus operandi and signature
David Rossi: Good! So were the victims similar?
Zoe Hawkes: No
David Rossi: Was the MO consistent?
Zoe Hawkes: No
David Rossi: Was the signature consistent?
Zoe Hawkes: Not that I am aware of
David Rossi: Then there is no obvious reason to suggest that this spike in violence was due to a serial killer

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Showing pictures] This is Henry wearing booties my mom knitted him
Penelope Garcia: I can't get over his cuteness
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Giggles] Oh, and this is him wearing the customized leather jacket aunty Penelope got him
Penelope Garcia: When he grows up he's gonna be a rebel!
[Phone rings]
Penelope Garcia: Is this David Rossi, the famous bestselling author David Rossi?
Derek Morgan: What you're doing? You're not supposed to call when you're on annual leave
David Rossi: I think my AL just ended

"Criminal Minds: The Storm (#11.22)" (2016)
[first lines]
Hayden Montgomery: Ooh, this reminds me of that morning in Budapest.
David Rossi: As I recall, that particular breakfast lasted all day.
Hayden Montgomery: Well, we could try that again. Except you'd have to call in sick.
David Rossi: That's very tempting.

Hayden Montgomery: [her phone rings] Oh. Joy wants to FaceTime.
David Rossi: Well, you should get it.
Hayden Montgomery: No! She'll recognize your house. I can't lie to her.
David Rossi: Then don't. Let's just tell her we're just seeing each other again. You're happy, I'm happy. She will be, too.
Hayden Montgomery: This is a big deal, and I just think that we should... tell her when she comes to visit.
[her phone chimes, indicating a missed call]
Hayden Montgomery: Oh. Good.
[Rossi's phone rings, and, snickering, he shows her that it's Joy calling]
Hayden Montgomery: Oh! Do you think she knows?
David Rossi: She's a reporter. I think she might have a hunch.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Where's Hotch being held?
David Rossi: I don't know yet. I have calls out.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Metro SWAT took him in?
David Rossi: Yeah, but it has to be bigger than that.
Dr. Spencer Reid: JJ's on her way here right now. She couldn't explain everything on the phone because she's with the kids.
Penelope Garcia: Okay, maybe Hotch was SWATted. That's an extreme prank that gamers pull on their opponents, where they fake a 911 on them. It's recently escalated among celebrities.
David Rossi: If it was a prank, they wouldn't have arrested him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Unless they didn't know. If someone called 911 and said that Hotch is a threat, SWAT has to respond. Which means somewhere, there's a record of that call.

Dr. Spencer Reid: With these three press conferences, we can prove to the Inspector General's office that Hotch's 911 call was spliced together.
David Rossi: That's a good start, but they're not gonna listen to anything we have to say until we give them a viable suspect.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, especially with explosives in play. They planted enough on Hotch to make it look like he was ready to blow up a city block.
David Rossi: Okay, back to basics. Someone's framing Hotch. Who'd want to?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's put away a lot of people. We've seen the lengths that Chazz Montolo went to against Morgan for revenge. We shouldn't underestimate anything.

Dr. Spencer Reid: [in a suspect's home] We should secure the house, but we're not gonna find anything else here. Best hope is to get him talking, but that could be tough.
David Rossi: Why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, he displays both collecting behavior and unique dysgraphia traits in his handwriting. I'm pretty sure he's autistic.

David Rossi: Don't go.
Hayden Montgomery: I think I fooled myself into thinking that things would be different. I... I think you did, too.
David Rossi: It is different.
Hayden Montgomery: David, the job will always be the same.
David Rossi: Yes. But I'm different. Do me just one favor. Before you make any decision, meet my team. They're the only family I have outside of you and Joy. I walked away thirty years ago. I'm not walking away this time.

[last lines]
Dr. Tara Lewis: What is it now?
Aaron Hotchner: Three more prison breaks in three different states, all organized by Rawdon's partners from his last bombing attempt.
Penelope Garcia: The local field office got a head start because of what we did. They stopped the bomb threat, but...
David Rossi: Who didn't they catch?
Aaron Hotchner: All have serial killer wings just like VA Max.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Let me guess; they were released first to cause maximum chaos and occupy law enforcement.
Penelope Garcia: A lot of them were killed or recaptured, but not all of them.
Jennifer Jareau: How many got away?
Penelope Garcia: As of right now, thirteen serial killers, one of which is Peter Lewis.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Mr. Scratch. That's why he testified against you. He was part of their plan all along.
Aaron Hotchner: So we have to catch him again, along with twelve other murderers.

David Rossi: [Doorbell rings] And there they are! Thanks, come in. Spence, Tara, this is Hayden Montgomery
Dr. Tara Lewis: On ma dit que vous avez une diplomatique a Paris, que je trouve très heureusement
Hayden Montgomery: Vous parlez le Français très bien, madame.
[to Rossi]
Hayden Montgomery: She's my favorite so far

"Criminal Minds: Gatekeeper (#9.7)" (2013)
David Rossi: Right over there, that's where I saw Carolyn the first time.
Dr. Spencer Reid: No offense, Rossi, but this place is kind of a dump.
David Rossi: No, back then it wasn't. Back then the biggest names would come here: Creedence, the Eagles, Chicago. It was a Marine bar; they played for us jarheads.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What was Carolyn doing here?
David Rossi: Waiting for Ringo. Beatlemania was no joke. I mean, it would make the women crazy. She'd write them a letter once a week, begging the band to come visit.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And they'd ever come?
David Rossi: Ringo did, after his divorce, but luckily Carolyn met me first.

David Rossi: [opening quote] "If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins" - Benjamin Franklin

David Rossi: [his cell phone beeps] On second thought, Helen. It's Garcia.
Dr. Spencer Reid: So much for a night off.
David Rossi: You better bring us the bill.
Helen: Okay. That'll be 10 bucks.
David Rossi: No, you can charge us for drinks we didn't have.
Helen: Everything's marked down until it's all gone.
[lshows Rossi the closing notice]
David Rossi: Oh, you can't close. This place is history.
Helen: Unfortunately, Dave, history doesn't pay the bills.
David Rossi: [sighs] Marines used to be big business.
Helen: Still are. That's why three new bars opened up across the street. What's that thing they say about competition?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It breeds success?
Helen: It sucks.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Thanks. This night is not about me, though.
[raises his glass]
Dr. Spencer Reid: To David Rossi.
David Rossi: I still can't believe you guys did this.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We wanted to make sure you had one last proper goodbye.
Penelope Garcia: Mm. And I may or may not have posted on the Quantico message boards that all the drinks are on you tonight.
David Rossi: And they are indeed, thank you very much.
Aaron Hotchner: But that's not all. I don't believe that any of the members of this team have heard you sing.
Helen: Next up is David Rossi.
David Rossi: That was intentional.
Aaron Hotchner: Next up is David Rossi.
Helen: Dave, get your ass up here and sing us out already.
Aaron Hotchner: And, look, it's your key.
David Rossi: Yeah, Q squared.
[Karaoke "piano man" starts]
David Rossi: All righty. To all the great memories that have happened within these walls, if you think I'm doing this without backup, you're nuts. Come on, JJ, Reid, let's go. Derek! Come on!

Aaron Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a dangerous voyeur, who feeds off the thrill of knowing his victims can't see him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Typically, voyeurs are non-violent and content to remain bystanders. This one is different; he's on a mission that includes taking action.
Aaron Hotchner: And in that mission, he didn't hesitate to kill a teenage boy. Anyone who stands between him and his goal is at risk.
Alex Blake: We believe he's documenting his work. He's taking pictures and collects personal connections to his victims; their wallets and their hair.
David Rossi: It's important to him to have proof of what he's doing.
Derek Morgan: Voyeurs like to create fantasies in their heads of what the objects of their obsession should be like.
David Rossi: He creates a character identity instead of a reality, and when a person steps outside of the parameters that the unsub has set for them, he strikes.
Jennifer Jareau: This unsub appears to be triggered by males acting on what he perceives to be character flaws. Seemingly innocuous infractions to us are magnified in the unsub's psychosis.
Aaron Hotchner: Based on the planning and sophistication of the kills, we believe that he's in his late thirties or forties.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The geographic profile tells us this unsub is not only dumping his victims downtown, he's hunting there, too.
Derek Morgan: So this is where we need to redouble our efforts. Go building to building, door to door. This guy's a fly on the wall; he's able to leanr secrets without anyone realizing he's there.
Alex Blake: He'll have a job that involves very little social interaction, but that puts him in a position where he can observe others unnoticed.
Jennifer Jareau: So we should look at service workers, groundskeepers, anyone paid to be invisible.
Aaron Hotchner: And we need to move quickly. This unsub is approaching some sort of perceived deadline. The closer it gets, the more erratic and dangerous he'll become.

Penelope Garcia: His name is Tanner Johnson, and life has not been kind.
Jennifer Jareau: He lost a child, didn't he?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, last year. Ten year old son Jeremy. According to reports, Jeremy was playing with a friend, they were, like, fake 'wrestling', when Tanner, a freelance photographer/night time doorman, got a call, left the room to take it; when he returned, his son was unconscious, the friend was trying to revive him from a chokehold gone horribly wrong.
Aaron Hotchner: The son was strangled; that's why he uses a garrote.
Penelope Garcia: Jeremy was on life support for a few days, but he died.
Alex Blake: And Tanner blames himself. He stopped watching for a minute and he lost his son.
David Rossi: He hasn't stopped watching since. The grief must have consumed him.
Jennifer Jareau: That's a hell of a stressor, but what triggered the murders?
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, what happened to Tanner's wife? Did the marriage survive?
Penelope Garcia: Uh... nope. She kicked him out two months ago. Right before the killings started.
Jennifer Jareau: So he loses his child, then his wife and home. It's enough to make anyone unstable.
Alex Blake: Add guilt to that, and it's all too much. He dissociated.
David Rossi: Paternal transference. Claimed the residents of the apartment building as his family.

David Rossi: He killed a woman this time.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah. She's also the first one he covered up. This is remorse. She wasn't part of the plan.
David Rossi: Which explains why he moved the body. She wasn't killed here.
Alex Blake: The garrote was used postmortem. C.O.D. appears to be blunt-force trauma to the back of the head.
David Rossi: He didn't do a good job of covering this up.
Aaron Hotchner: He's panicking. We find where she was killed, we find him.
Alex Blake: Except no one even knows what her name is.
David Rossi: No ID, just a phone.
[Rossi plays the phone's voicemail]
Derek Morgan: Hi, my name is Derek Morgan with the FBI. I'm trying to locate a woman, first name Ashley. It's extremely important.
David Rossi: This is Ashley.

Penelope Garcia: Beantown has turned into Chokeville. Three victims, all male, wallets stolen.
Aaron Hotchner: The unsub uses a garrote to strangle his victims. He strikes at night, and there have been no witnesses.
David Rossi: How much did he get?
Aaron Hotchner: What's odd. Each of the victims' socio-economically is lower to middle class. It's doubtful there would have been much cash, and there have been no charge attempts on any of the credit cards.
Alex Blake: So the murders might not be about money at all. Taking the wallets could be a forensic countermeasure to delay victim identification.
Penelope Garcia: That could be the sitch with the first two victims, but the latest one, Scott Delfino, he was on the phone with his roommate when he was attacked; call cut out unexpectedly, repeated callbacks went straight to voicemail.
Aaron Hotchner: And Delfino's body was found an hour later, indications were that he'd been blitzed.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which speaks to the killer's prep work, but also his desperation. He chose a location to lay in wait, but wasn't capable of adapting to a target on the phone.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, that could be arrogance getting in the way, making his organization appear mixed. To me, that screams false confidence.
Derek Morgan: Which means the desperation is what's driving him. It's not about the kills, it's about what the murders represent.
Jennifer Jareau: He's mission oriented. He doesn't want to kill them, he has to.
David Rossi: Which suggests the unsub has no personal connection to his victims.
Alex Blake: Except choking as a kill method is extremely personal. He feels each victim take their last breath.
Derek Morgan: What if the wallets are a form of depersonalization? He's stripping his victims of their identities.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which means he may feel stripped of his own. If the wallets are trophies, he could be seeking recognition for his work.
Aaron Hotchner: And he may not stop killing until he gets that recognition. Let's go.

"Criminal Minds: Divining Rod (#7.21)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: What do we got, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma. And not... the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now. I'm talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett.
Aaron Hotchner: A neighbor saw her front door open and discovered the body.
David Rossi: Look familiar?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Young, pretty, short blonde hair.
David Rossi: And stabbed directly through the heart.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's exactly the way Garrett killed his victims.
Derek Morgan: So are we looking at a copycat?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Or someone creating doubt the right person was executed.
David Rossi: In Garrett's case, there was no doubt. His guilt was the slam dunk of all slam dunks. Prints, DNA, a confession.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He even led police to where he buried two of his victims.
Emily Prentiss: Garrett killed twenty-five women before he was caught. If this new unsub is a copycat, body count's just started.

Emily Prentiss: Hotch, I think I found her.
Aaron Hotchner: You're on speaker, Prentiss.
Emily Prentiss: The unsub must have circled back. He dumped her just outside the perimeter of the abduction site.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Same M.O.?
Emily Prentiss: No, she's got stab wounds all over her torso. It's bad. And Hotch, this time he removed her scalp.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Overkill. He must be enraged he wasn't able to carry the murder out as planned.
David Rossi: So now we might have another problem. If our unsub's blueprint is out the window, this may transition him into a spree killer.

Emily Prentiss: [browsing through mail Garrett received in prison] Get a load of this one. "Dear Mr. Garrett, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Most people are cowards and don't do what they feel inside them. You are an inspiration, and I applaud you."
Emily Prentiss: "I applaud you."
David Rossi: These are supposed to be the non-wacko letters.
Penelope Garcia: Hey, guess what? JJ's genius has struck again. That hunch about the hair was right. I'm sending you an ATM image of Cara Smith. She's the first victim. This was taken ten hours before her murder. Check it.
Detective Childers: The unsub cut her hair, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, there could be a sexual element involved. Trichophilia is a fetish where one becomes aroused by the removal of hair.
Derek Morgan: Well either way, it's starting to look less like a copycat. The unsub's deviating too much from Garrett's M.O. Garrett never took trophies.

Emily Prentiss: He started killing shortly after you were married?
Helen Garrett: Yeah.
David Rossi: And you never suspected this other life he was leading?
Helen Garrett: No. People only see what they want to see, I guess.
Emily Prentiss: Where will you go now, Helen?
Helen Garrett: Put in for a transfer for a job in Missouri. Don't know anybody there; people don't know me. It's a fresh start.
David Rossi: What about family?
Helen Garrett: My family don't want to know me. They couldn't understand why I'd stand by Rod after everything that he done. As far as they're concerned, I'm just as bad as him.

Emily Prentiss: You remember when people used to write letters by hand?
David Rossi: That's how I wrote my first book. Give me a keyboard any day.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, come on, Rossi. The excitement of seeing an envelope from a friend in your mailbox? Now it's just an electronic ding on your computer.
David Rossi: One of my various brothers-in-law was a mailman. He said the expression "going postal" made perfect sense to him. You spend all day delivering a mountain of letters one at a time. Then you go to work the next morning, and there's a whole new mountain to deal with. And it's forever.
Emily Prentiss: That sounds like our job. It took seven years for the world to get rid of Rod Garrett and fifteen minutes after, a new one pops up to take his place.

Derek Morgan: Hey, say it like you mean it, baby.
Penelope Garcia: Yon know, I'm gonna. So, if you look in the dictionary, the word "normal," you will see Cara Smith. College student, well-liked, straight A's, English lit. major. Speaking of which, I just got a transcript of Rodney Garrett's last words, hot off the press, and a gold star to the first person who can identify the source of this. "She comes like fullest moon on happy night. Taper of waist..."
Dr. Spencer Reid: "With shape of magic might." It's from *The Thousand and One Nights*. Not the exact translation that I would have used, but it's got its own merits.
Emily Prentiss: And in a shocking non-upset, we have a winner.
David Rossi: Garrett was sixth-grade dropout. An unlikely guy to be quoting from a Harvard Classic.

David Rossi: I never could do that.
Emily Prentiss: Do what?
David Rossi: Take a nap. Never felt natural.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm actually wide awake, but for future reference, polyphasic sleep is completely natural, quite common in the animal world, and highly beneficial.

Penelope Garcia: Oh, hey, guys. Hey. I just wanted to see what's going on. Hi, hello.
Emily Prentiss: This better be important, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, it's nothing. It's just that a messenger came by the office today with some papers from escrow!
Emily Prentiss: No!
Penelope Garcia: Oh, yes. The house in Dupont Circle. You got it!
Aaron Hotchner: Congratulations!
David Rossi: [sees Prentiss's smile fades] Six seconds. Fastest case of buyer's remorse ever.

"Criminal Minds: Strange Fruit (#9.9)" (2013)
Penelope Garcia: [Rossi walks into the office] Where are you going?
David Rossi: I got your text!
Penelope Garcia: I love you very much, but you need to read more than just the first sentence! The case is like 5 miles away

David Rossi: [opening quote] "The universe doesn't like secrets. It conspires to reveal the truth, to lead you to it" - Lisa Unger

David Rossi: So, why did you mutilate Mary Ann's genitalia?
Charles Johnson: I didn't mutilate anything.
David Rossi: And you cut the other girl, too. And the guy. Sexual punishment across gender lines is... pretty different. I think that somewhere down the line, a man and a woman each made you question your sexuality. You despise both sexes.

David Rossi: The guy who saved my life in Vietnam was black, as was my second wife.
Charles Johnson: Brown sugar... I'll be damned... I bet you phone-banked for Obama.
David Rossi: No, I was too busy putting guys like you away.

Charles Johnson: Where you from, Dave?
David Rossi: Long Island.
Charles Johnson: You know, an I-talian from Long Island can be as cold-blooded as a... a Klansman... from Virginia... You ever used the n-word, Dave?
David Rossi: I'm sure I did. The same guys who called me wop and dago. Everyone I knew back then used that language. So what?
Charles Johnson: Maybe one day some black people sit in the front of the bus in Floral Park and you start throwing some punches.
David Rossi: We've already found three bodies, Charles.
Charles Johnson: Maybe some colored folks sit next to you at Stango's back in the day, and, you know, you get pissed off, you start throwing punches at 'em.
David Rossi: You're evading, Charles, and that suggests guilt.
Charles Johnson: You go by that logic, you ain't too innocent your damn self.
David Rossi: [pause] There was this one time.
Charles Johnson: Here we go.
David Rossi: I was in the ninth grade, and there was this black kid on the baseball team with me.
Charles Johnson: I knew it. Break out the peanuts.
David Rossi: He was the runt and I was the second-smallest. You get the picture?
Charles Johnson: I got it. Come on.
David Rossi: One day the other guys get mad because he's playing with us...
Charles Johnson: Nm.
David Rossi: And they force me to shove him into a locker and keep him there overnight.
Charles Johnson: Did you do it?
David Rossi: Sure I did. If not, they would have done it to me.
Charles Johnson: Call him names?
David Rossi: We called him every name in the book... And then they made me pee on him in the locker.
Charles Johnson: You peed on him?
David Rossi: They made me.

David Rossi: Look...
Derek Morgan: You don't have to explain, man.
David Rossi: No, you don't understand.
Derek Morgan: A locker? Really? You took a leak on the guy?
David Rossi: I was working him, Derek... But I'd like you to do something for me.

Charles Johnson: Hung me from a tree... Cut me.
David Rossi: ...Where did they cut you?
Charles Johnson: ...Where do you think?

"Criminal Minds: Proof (#7.2)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Scott Adams wrote, "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."

[the team is still in shock Prentiss is alive]
David Rossi: How's Reid?
Aaron Hotchner: He's angry and frustrated. I'm surprised everybody isn't.
David Rossi: Ah, some of us had an inkling.
[Hotch looks at Rossi in surprise]
David Rossi: What? I'm good at what I do.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, you can be honest. I can take it.
David Rossi: Okay, I prefer my pasta al dente, and the pancetta was a little weird.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, that's 'cause it's tofu.
David Rossi: Tofu? I give you my recipe and you do an improv?
Penelope Garcia: No, no. I followed it down to the micron, aside from the pig. Look, master of all things Italian, I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend, and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.
David Rossi: Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.
Derek Morgan: You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like... That would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house.
David Rossi: I don't have a house, I have a mansion.
Aaron Hotchner: All right. Let's get started.

David Rossi: So, are you gonna get psychological counseling for the team or handle it internally?
Aaron Hotchner: No, I think that if we all just got together, maybe a cooking lesson at the home of one of our founders...
David Rossi: Oh, no, not you, too.
Aaron Hotchner: It could boost morale.
David Rossi: Is this an order?
Aaron Hotchner: No, it's just a very tempered suggestion.
David Rossi: Tempered suggestion.
[Hotch smiles]

[last lines]
David Rossi: Cooking is the most sensual art form. And these are my paints.
Penelope Garcia: So your hands must be brushes.
David Rossi: Don't interrupt. In a pot of boiling water, we cook our spaghetti until it's al dente, firm to the tooth. Here you go. Everybody pass it around. See? Feel the texture. There we go. Okay. Now, in a large pan, we fry up our pancetta. Keeping a sharp eye that the edges are crisp.
Aaron Hotchner: But careful not to burn the onions.
David Rossi: Bravo, Aaron! We sauté until translucence.
Derek Morgan: [hearing ding-dong] I got it.
David Rossi: Grazie mille!
[seeing JJ raises the glass to her lips, puts up a hand to stop her]
David Rossi: Oh! Now, we mix in the eggs, the parmesan, the spaghetti and parsley. You see, it's all about timing and rhythm. And if you don't feel yourself doing it properly, please, order a pizza.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I'm late.
David Rossi: Yeah. And this is why I cook alone.
Emily Prentiss: So, when do we get to drink the wine?
David Rossi: Almost there. Okay. We start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [holding the glass] Okay now?
David Rossi: Now. Salud!
Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Salud!

Aaron Hotchner: All right; let's get started.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Oh.
[Realizes the cases are not hers and proudly hands the information over to a thankful Garcia]
Penelope Garcia: Alright, Mes Amis.
[stands to present]
Penelope Garcia: You are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because, in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution. Abby Elcott is our first victim; 19-year-old art student; she was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days. Same goes for our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17.
[draws a breath]
Penelope Garcia: She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class.
Emily Prentiss: Both low-risk victims.
Derek Morgan: And physically similar.
David Rossi: How close are the two abduction sites?
Penelope Garcia: [looking down at information] 5 miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one. Beth's scarf near the other.
[map illustrates her words]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Where're the dump sites?
Penelope Garcia: One in an alley, the other in a field.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So he stapled their eyes open, then he blinded them.
[Spencer's reaction to JJ is seen and she notices it]
Derek Morgan: It's about power and control; maybe he didn't want them to watch while he hurt 'em.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Or it could be about shame; perhaps the unsub is disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, totally dependent; it may be a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world.
Emily Prentiss: It is a form of enucleation, just without the scalpel.
David Rossi: His face is the last they see before darkness.
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, come up with a list of jobs that would give the unsub access to sulfuric acid. The rest of us, wheels up in 30 minutes.
[arises from seat]

Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover as plane flies] If it is a miracle, any sort of evidence will answer. But if it is a fact, proof is necessary. Mark Twain.
Aaron Hotchner: Victimology is very similar. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenage girls.
[looks at photos]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: We believe they were each abducted near public transportation stops.
Emily Prentiss: [holds up photo] When was this photo taken?
Derek Morgan: Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera 3 hours before she disappeared; that's a recent photo of Abby.
Emily Prentiss: So, she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in.
David Rossi: Maybe he changed them because hers were burned by the sulfuric acid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap.
[JJ's face as Reid is talking is shown as affected due to their conflict]
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?
Penelope Garcia: [on laptop] Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed and they had stab wounds to their eyes.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So maybe he practiced on high-risk victims first.
Derek Morgan: And then advanced to chemical enucleation.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Isn't that a rare paraphilia?
Emily Prentiss: Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain.
David Rossi: Like Ed Kemper, he's probably practicing on surrogates, before going after the real object of his rage.
Aaron Hotchner: Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss, go to the disposal sites. JJ, you and Reid to the abduction sites.
[JJ and Reid's faces reflect their feelings about the orders]

"Criminal Minds: ...A Thousand Words (#5.20)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] A sincere artist tries to create something which is, in itself, a living thing. -painter William Dobell

Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at that. At the turn of the 16th century, rose tattoos were put on men who were sentenced to death.
Trooper Pasternak: Really?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, if they escaped, it served to identify them, but now roses pretty much symbolize pure love.
David Rossi: Pure love, right before he kills them.

David Rossi: Garcia, remind me never to try to hide from you.
Penelope Garcia: Perish the thought, mon ami.

Trooper Pasternak: Why is it when men kill themselves, it gets everywhere, but women don't leave a mess, like they were never there?
David Rossi: Women worry about who has to clean up. Men don't give a damn.

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: What about property records?
Det. John Barton: Eh, I talked to the owner, eh, she said, she rented it a couple of weeks ago to a quite, normal looking guy named Bob. He said he wanted to store some equipment. And paid in cash
David Rossi: They're always normal

Derek Morgan: How's Reid doing?
David Rossi: It doesn't even seem to faze him. He's just sitting there in the corner, turning pages
Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Yeah, Reid goes to another place when he reads

David Rossi: Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: I ran the covered tattoo through the morpho-tracking system
Emily Prentiss: Tell me you got something, babe
Penelope Garcia: Emily, don't get ahead of my dramatic telling!

"Criminal Minds: The Inspiration (#9.1)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: All right, Rossi, talk to me. What's up?
David Rossi: Only the sun. I like the sun.
Derek Morgan: Cute. That's real cute. Look, when I was the gym, conversation around the free weights is Hotch is interviewing to be Strauss's permanent replacement.
David Rossi: I know nothing.
Derek Morgan: Come on, man, you sure about that? Why do I get the feeling you're being a profiler?
David Rossi: If you have any questions about Hotch, maybe you should ask Hotch.
Derek Morgan: Ok, look, I get it. Doing double duty after the sequester, fine, but taking on a desk job full-time? You know what they say about desk jobs.
David Rossi: That's how you get the ladies?
Derek Morgan: No. Sitting is the new smoking. That'll kill Hotch, and you know that.

David Rossi: [opening quote] "Who knows where inspiration comes from? Perhaps it arises from desperation, perhaps it comes from flukes of the universe, the kindness of the muses" - Amy Tan

David Rossi: See no evil, hear no gossip
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, come on, we see evil all day long

Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, Heather Clarke is the victim that our unsub's been feeding to the others.
Penelope Garcia: Yikes.
Aaron Hotchner: See if she had any enemies.
Penelope Garcia: [typing] No. I mean, she was her company's top regional manager, she... she looks loved.
David Rossi: Well, the unsub's rage has probably been brewing for a long time.
Alex Blake: And he most likely expressed his disdain for her long before he killed her.
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, check middle and high school records.
Penelope Garcia: [typing again] No, zero. Zero, there's nothing there.
David Rossi: There's gotta be something. See if her parents ever filed a restraining order.
Penelope Garcia: [finding a result] Oh, creepy bingo.

David Rossi: So, um, any news on the job front?
Aaron Hotchner: No, but they said that they wanted to talk to me again when we got back. I've thought a lot about it. I don't know what to tell them.
David Rossi: Well, I can think of a million ways to sabotage you.
[Hotch half-smiles]
David Rossi: Just say the word.

Penelope Garcia: Two women, Sarah Beck and Jill Elks, were found in a park in Glendale, Arizona within the last three days. Both of them were single in their late twenties, and following their normal low-risk routines when they were abducted.
Alex Blake: Where we they taken from?
Penelope Garcia: Sarah was on her way to her theater group rehearsal, and Jill was abducted form her apartment. The unsub broke in through a window.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, clearly he's hunting a specific type.
Derek Morgan: He left the jewelry untouched.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, it's not about robbery.
Penelope Garcia: Both women were sexually assaulted and then they were shot in the heart and left in that... prayer position.
Jennifer Jareau: It's odd.
David Rossi: Maybe it's religious. Looks like they're leaning on a cross.
Derek Morgan: Their hands are titled forward.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He could have made them supplicate and their hands clenched in rigor mortis.
Jennifer Jareau: So they're possibly trying to atone for their sins.
Alex Blake: I doubt that. Both women have pretty clean backgrounds.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Since the posing was done postmortem, maybe it's representation of the way in which he made them beg for their lives.
David Rossi: We've definitely seen that before.
Aaron Hotchner: Hmm. He's getting off on the power. Let's head to Arizona. Wheels up in thirty.

David Rossi: Whoa, you never went home.
Aaron Hotchner: No, I had these, uh, unit chief performance appraisals to do when we got back.
David Rossi: So, how many all-nighters have you pulled this month?
Aaron Hotchner: I don't know. Between the final reviews and the appraisals, there isn't enough time.
David Rossi: Erin would, uh, always bring her work home with her.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, I know. She definitely, uh, underplayed the amount of paperwork.
David Rossi: So, how long do you think they're gonna ask you to do this double duty?
Aaron Hotchner: Well, they asked me if I'd be interested in the job full-time.
David Rossi: That would mean leaving the BAU.
Aaron Hotchner: I bought myself some time by asking them to at least post the position.
David Rossi: Well, we both know the pros and cons.
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, lots of them. We'll talk about it later.

"Criminal Minds: The Replicator (#8.24)" (2013)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "Affliction comes to us: not to make us sad, but sober, not to make us sorry, but wise" - H.G. Wells

Aaron Hotchner: Dave, a figure 8?
David Rossi: That's what it look like. I just sent you all a picture
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe it's an infinity symbol
Alex Blake: Well, if it's infinity, he could be boasting "I'll go on forever"?
Derek Morgan: Or if it's an 8. Strauss was his 8th victim
Jennifer Jareau: And the unofficial 8th member of our team

Erin Strauss: Wait!... Kids!... Wait for me!
John Curtis: Do you really think your team is going to save you?
Erin Strauss: I know they will.
John Curtis: Did you get everything you wanted?
Erin Strauss: What?
John Curtis: In life. Did you?
Erin Strauss: Does anyone?
John Curtis: We should. That's the point. Drinking got in your way. Your husband couldn't help. Though God knows he tried.
Erin Strauss: You know my husband?
John Curtis: And your poor children always played second fiddle to your ambition.
Erin Strauss: I can't see. Oh, thank God, David. He was here. You have to find him.
David Rossi: I will. I promise.
Erin Strauss: Thank you.
David Rossi: All the love in the world won't save you.
Erin Strauss: What?
John Curtis: We're not finished yet.

David Rossi: [Curtis finds no one in the room] Drop the gun.
John Curtis: You'd really die for them?
David Rossi: That's the oath we all took. To protect our country from people like you, no matter what.
John Curtis: You never appreciated me, none of you. I gave you my life, and you rejected me.
David Rossi: You can tell me your sob story while walking.

John Curtis: We'll go out as heroes.
David Rossi: I'm not so sure about that.
[opens the door and shows the medal in the lock]
David Rossi: Zugzwang.

David Rossi: Last year, right here, we had a... very different celebration... of life... of love... and good people. This year, it's the... other side of that. Because, well... that's what families do. It's been a hard year. But tonight... we celebrate a life well lived... well loved... To a good woman... an even better mother... to our friend... Who I will miss very much.

David Rossi: Her children want to meet me at Bethesda.
Aaron Hotchner: How old are they now?
David Rossi: Too young for this.
Aaron Hotchner: You all right?
David Rossi: She smells of booze, Aaron. You and I know it's because that bastard took away her dignity. But her children might not believe that. It's hard for them to trust anything to do with her drinking. She struggled with it all her life, and she was finally beating it.

"Criminal Minds: Remembrance of Things Past (#6.3)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, what's in the box?
David Rossi: Evil.

David Rossi: [voiceover] Marcel Proust wrote: "Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were."

David Rossi: [voiceover] Mark Twain wrote: "When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not. But my faculties are decaying now, and soon I shall be so I cannot remember anything but the things that never happened." "It is sad to go to pieces like this, but we all have to do it."

David Rossi: [receiving a phone call from Hotch] I hope you want me to come in. I mean, between writer's block and my neighbor's construction, I'm going crazy here.

David Rossi: Did your fiancée say anything that sounded out of the ordinary?
Michael Young: No. She sounded like herself, considering the circumstances.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You say that her lexical features are consistent with her vernacular?
Michael Young: Huh?
David Rossi: Are the words hers?

David Rossi: Seventeen years ago he sounded like background noise, but when I digitized them, you could hear every word.
Lee Mullens: [recoded voice] Yes, she did. She's dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's stunningly creepy.
David Rossi: I never caught The Butcher, but I caught his voice.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Everything in the house is labeled. Drawers, the refrigerator. I found Donepezil and flashcards in the medicine cabinet.
David Rossi: Donepezil? Alzheimer's?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. It improves acetylcholine, either by increasing levels of it in the brain or enhancing nerve cells' response to it.

"Criminal Minds: Red Light (#12.22)" (2017)
Emily Prentiss: Up 'till now, Cat Adams has only worked solo. But this is a partnership. So we need to figure out how these two hit women were able to work together, especially when one of them was in solitary.
Luke Alvez: And hitmen are driven by profit and self-preservation .They don't take a job unless they know all the angles.
Dr. Tara Lewis: So, to predict their behavior, we need to ask ourselves a simple question. We know why Cat wanted revenge on Reid. Why does Lindsey?
David Rossi: Ten years ago, Reid tried to talk Lindsey's father out of one last murder. Cut to last year and she finds out her BFF Cat has been arrested by the federal agent who tried to stop her daddy.
Luke Alvez: So Lindsey's emotions trumped her professionalism. She could grab and kill Reid's mother without a trace, but instead, she waltzed Diana into his prison because she wanted him and us to know that she was involved.
Emily Prentiss: But there's risky and there's reckless. It's kind of hard to buy that Lindsey would commit to doing all of this just because Reid kind of sort of got in her way ten years ago. We're missing something.

Luke Alvez: All right. We got thirty employees that worked on Cat's wing. And these four, they don't have any disciplinary problems.
David Rossi: So Cat used one, or more likely more than one to coordinate with Lindsey on the outside.
Luke Alvez: That's the good news.
David Rossi: Oh, lovely. We need more bad news.
Luke Alvez: The guard union got wind that I was sniffing around. These twenty-six potential accomplices, they can't be interviewed without submitting all questions through the local 292 and their accompanying attorneys first.
David Rossi: Okay. Let's do some digging. A couple of these folks are gonna look more guilty than the rest. We'll winnow it down and then deal with the local.

David Rossi: Go ahead, JJ.
Jennifer Jareau: So, Cat has deep background on Spence. She knew about Gideon's death and Morgan leaving the team for his family.
David Rossi: She's throwing him off-balance.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, but Spence also purposely gave the wrong name of Morgan's son and she didn't correct him.
Emily Prentiss: She must have gotten her hands on Reid's confidential FBI file. It would mention relevant team information, but wouldn't name Morgan's baby because of confidentiality reasons.
David Rossi: We were thinking she's been getting help from someone inside the prison. This goes deeper than that.

Stephen Walker: We have something, but, uh... it's out there.
Emily Prentiss: I'll take "out there".
Stephen Walker: The gun store owner was more of a libertarian than you would think. He talked about how he never judged his customers or who they love.
David Rossi: That's... weird.
Stephen Walker: Yeah, not as weird as when he mentioned Obergefell.
Emily Prentiss: The Supreme Court decision that legalized gay marriage.
Stephen Walker: You said we were missing something in the relationship between these two women. What if it's this?
Dr. Tara Lewis: The risks that Lindsey's taking, the bond she has with Cat, it's not professional. It's romantic.

Dr. Spencer Reid: You had eyes on me while I was in prison, didn't you?
Cat Adams: Spencie, don't ruin the moment.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't want to, but I'm on the clock. Answer my question. Am I right?
Cat Adams: Yes, you're right. I wanted to make sure things were just as uncomfortable for you as they were for me.
Luke Alvez: That's what we missed. The inside man that's been helping them.
David Rossi: He didn't just work at Cat's prison, he worked at hers and Reid's.
Emily Prentiss: Garcia, look for any overlap.
Penelope Garcia: Compiling now. Here's something. Lionel Wilkins. He worked at both Mount Pleasant and and the Millburn Correctional Facility.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Okay, look, this guy could have gotten her pregnant. But there's no way he could have gotten his hand on Reid's file.
Stephen Walker: Well, not directly. He could have called in a favor from a friend at the Bureau.
Luke Alvez: So someone must have wanted to screw us this whole time.
Emily Prentiss: Someone who's not gonna work for the Bureau much longer.

David Rossi: You don't call, you don't write.
Derek Morgan: Rossi.
[they share a laugh and hug, too]
Jennifer Jareau: [entering] You don't even give us a heads-up and you decide to pop in at three in the morning?
Derek Morgan: Oh, blondie, come here, come here, come here.
[hugging JJ]
Derek Morgan: Mm. Oh, it is so good to see all of you. Look, I wish I could say I was just here to say hello, but, um, we may have bigger problems.
[to Prentiss]
Derek Morgan: You see what I'm saying about that text? It does not sound like Garcia. You do know what it does sound like.
Emily Prentiss: A trap.

Emily Prentiss: Have we dispatched units to the location Scratch tried to lure us to?
Dr. Tara Lewis: I coordinated it before we left. They're on their way.
Luke Alvez: SWAT will meet us on site at Scratch's house.
Emily Prentiss: I know we all want this son of a bitch's head on a platter, but SWAT has to clear every single room before we step foot inside.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, have they been briefed? This guy's traps have traps.
David Rossi: The house itself could be a setup.
Stephen Walker: Or a waste of our time so he can get away.
Emily Prentiss: Whatever it is, he's gonna try to take us by surprise. We have to be ready for anything.

"Criminal Minds: Dorado Falls (#7.3)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone; only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for a moment that we're not alone." ~~ Orson Welles

State Trooper Brian Long: We've located John Owen, the missing employee. He's been at a *Doctor Who* convention in San Diego since Saturday. It was a scheduled vacation.
David Rossi: Lucky guy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'll say. That's supposed to be an awesome convention.

David Rossi: [phone rings] Hello?
Luke Dolan: Is this Sergeant Major Rossi?
David Rossi: Yes, I was hoping you'd call, Luke. Where are you?
Luke Dolan: Right behind you.

David Rossi: All right. Luke, you don't want to be aiming that around. Snipers have the building covered.
Derek Morgan: You're in the crosshairs right now, I can guarantee that.
Luke Dolan: Windows are bulletproof. High-density Lexan, right?

David Rossi: One thing that's been bothering me is the first victim, Adam Werner, was given the Navy Cross in 2000.
Aaron Hotchner: We weren't at war.
David Rossi: Exactly. You have to show extreme sacrifice, risk life and limb to win the second highest medal of valor. So what did he do during peacetime to deserve it?

Jennifer Jareau: So, Garcia discovered part of Dolan's military records were encrypted. I just got the complete file from the Pentagon; he wasn't a clerk, he was a Navy SEAL.
David Rossi: Well, let me guess: Adam Werner was, too.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, Werner was the SEAL team leader, Dolan was his number two. Their unit was part of JSOC; they were involved in over twenty highly classified missions.
David Rossi: Which missions were in 2000?
Jennifer Jareau: Uh... only one, Operation Dorado Falls.
David Rossi: See what you can find out about it.
Jennifer Jareau: Will do.
Aaron Hotchner: That changes the profile.
David Rossi: Definitely.
Jennifer Jareau: How so?
David Rossi: Navy SEALs are screened carefully for vulnerability to PTSD; they're resistant to it.
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, so why would a trained Navy SEAL kill his commanding officer and his own parents?
Aaron Hotchner: I don't know, but it's gonna be a lot harder to find him.
David Rossi: Very few people on this planet are capable of stopping him.

"Criminal Minds: In the Blood (#9.6)" (2013)
Alex Blake: Fingernail polish was removed... crudely!
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: A mixture of citrus juice and vinegar. And when that didn't do the trick the polish was roughly scraped off with a sharp object
David Rossi: Not how I remembered my ex-wives removing their polish
Alex Blake: Well, this was done to her, not by her

Dr. Spencer Reid: The pattern in the branding mark has design characteristics similar to family crests from the late middle ages. I found this encyclopedia of heraldry and look.
Aaron Hotchner: It's the seal of William Stoughton, a magistrate.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Check when and where he's a magistrate.
David Rossi: Salem, Massachusetts, 1692.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Stoughton was the lead prosecutor in the Salem witch trials.
Aaron Hotchner: So this UnSub believes he's hunting witches.

Jennifer Jareau: So, I looked it up. No witches were ever burned at the stake in Salem.
David Rossi: Really?
Jennifer Jareau: Death by fire was strictly a European thing.
David Rossi: Moral of the story, be selective where you practice your witchcraft.

[last lines]
David Rossi: Well, I guess this is proof positive that ancestry ain't all bad.
Penelope Garcia: How about a toast to the 30 or 40 of us?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Cheers!
Derek Morgan: Cheers!
Jennifer Jareau: Cheers!
David Rossi: Salute!

Linda Grunwell, M.E.: I've seen some bad ones in my fifteen years, but this was... bad.
Alex Blake: What was the C.O.D.?
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: It's hard to pinpoint. Virtually every bone in her body was crushed, and every major organ ruptured. My guess is skull fracture, but honestly, any one of these internal injuries might have killed her.
David Rossi: What about the lacerations? Could they have been defensive wounds?
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: No, they were in a distinct pattern. Quite deep, and severe, on the radius and ulna, but carefully placed so as not to cause death.
Alex Blake: There would be substantial bleeding from a wound like that.
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: Absolutely.
David Rossi: Yet there was minimal blood at the crime scene.
Alex Blake: The victim suffered the lacerations and burnings somewhere else, then was taken to the canyon to be killed.
David Rossi: But why not make it one-stop shopping? Transporting her alive, even a short distance, would increase the risk significantly.
Linda Grunwell, M.E.: The tox report did show traces of chloropromizine in her system.
Alex Blake: A tranquilizer. That was what he used to control her.

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a physically fit male from his late twenties to mid-thirties.He's brazen, confident, and organized.
Derek Morgan: This person may be a moral vigilante. Abby Stafford had drug issues, Gloria Carlyle moved in with her boyfriend, Parker Mills was a sexual deviant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Moral vigilantism typically has its roots in repression and guilt. This generally manifests itself in low self-esteem and self-loathing. By punishing others, the unsub may also be punishing himself.
Aaron Hotchner: He's also literally branding his victims. We're not sure why, but he's likely marking them as his own.
Alex Blake: His organizational skills suggest someone who can get and keep a full-time job.
David Rossi: But the work is likely low-level. His impaired social development would not allow him to move very far in the professional world.
Jennifer Jareau: Consequently, this is someone most comfortable working in solitude, having minimal interaction with others.
Derek Morgan: And this makes it a challenge to determine how and where this person is choosing his victims.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The two female victims were reserved and studious; Parker Mills lived quietly in the margins of conventional society.
Jennifer Jareau: So the killer may frequent or work in locations that attracts this type of person. Uh, places of solitude, contemplation.
Alex Blake: Museums, gardens and parks, bookstores.
David Rossi: His choice of a city square, rather than a remote canyon, means he's gaining confidence.
Derek Morgan: But the recklessness of killing in such a public space suggests that this confidence may be stemming from a delusion.
Jennifer Jareau: He may believe he's in a place in time that makes him invulnerable.
Aaron Hotchner: And if his delusion is gaining in strength, then his next killing may be riskier and more dramatic. Thank you.

"Criminal Minds: Lucky (#3.8)" (2007)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Bridgewater, Florida. Local girl, Abbey Kelton, nineteen, left her parents' home to go the local junior college. She never came home. Three days later, joggers found her - part of her - in a nearby park.
Emily Prentiss: What did that to her?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Bridgewater's off of I-75, which is often referred to as "Alligator Alley", for reasons that are now apparent. Everything below the waist had been eaten.
David Rossi: Ah, the circle of life.
Emily Prentiss: Suddenly, I don't feel so guilty about my alligator wallet.

David Rossi: [about Feylinn] Blaming the devil for his cannibalism wasn't enough to lessen his guilt, so he tricked others into participating. He made them all as guilty as he was.
Derek Morgan: He caught every break possible, Rossi. Gets released from the hospital. His records get destroyed. Gets pulled over with a victim in the trunk of his car, and they let him go. I've never seen anyone that lucky.
David Rossi: What's your point?
Derek Morgan: You've been doin' this a long time. You've seen a lot of things. You think it's possible Feylinn would... I don't know. That he was getting some kind of help from something else?
David Rossi: It's irrelevant. The job is to find evil, to stop it, not to know where it came from. Let somebody else take that job. This one's tough enough.

David Rossi: You know, Reid was right.
Derek Morgan: About?
David Rossi: If you believe in one, you have to believe in the other.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So killer satanic cults don't exist, but satanic serial killers do?
David Rossi: 'Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch'intrate'
[walks out the door]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Huh, thanks for clearing that up
Dr. Spencer Reid: Eh, it's from Dante's Inferno: abandon hope all he who enter here
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So that was a "yes"?
Aaron Hotchner: A big "yes"

David Rossi: We never found any evidence of a killer satanic cult! In reality there are only two types of violent satanic criminals
Dr. Spencer Reid: Ah, type one: teens Satanists, assume satanic identity to rebel. Minor crimes, theft and vandalism, to churches, schools, symbols of authority. When combined with drugs and alcohol, they may turn violent
David Rossi: Yes, in extreme cases, deadly... That was out of my book, word for word!
Derek Morgan: Oh, trust us: we know!

Derek Morgan: Rossi? Do me a favor, you talk to the priest all right?
David Rossi: You rather interview the grieving parents on the worst day of their lives than the priest?
Derek Morgan: If it is all right with you, yeah!

"Criminal Minds: The Slave of Duty (#5.10)" (2009)
David Rossi: Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You know, I may have the tools to do this job, but I don't know if I have the tools to help my son.
David Rossi: You have to ask yourself, what kind of father you want to be, and when you figure that out, then you'll know what to do.

David Rossi: [finding evidence at Belser's apartment] Look at these.
Derek Morgan: Garage door openers?
David Rossi: Universal garage door openers. This solves the problem of having to copy a key. Some drivers are smart enough to use a valet key, but no one thinks to take a garage door opener with them.
Emily Prentiss: That's how he got into Melissa Johnson's house. We only found prints on the interior garage door. We thought it was from when he moved the dog into the garage.
David Rossi: People rarely think to lock a door that lies beyond another locked door.

[last lines]
David Rossi: [finding Hotch at Haley's grave] I had a feeling I'd find you here. Have you told her yet?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Told her what?
David Rossi: That you're coming back to the team. That fighting the bad guys is who you are.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I don't have to tell her. She already knows.

David Rossi: We believe our unsub is already with his next victim. If he matches pattern, she'll be a successful woman, probably brunette, early 30s to mid-40s. She'll be at home in Nashville's upper echelon.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This means that he fits in. He drives the right car, he wears the right clothes, he's highly intelligent, and probably comes from a place of status.
Derek Morgan: This guy's sociable, and he's endearing. You would never suspect that this man is capable of murder. But he will do whatever it takes to protect the fantasy that he's trying to relive.
David Rossi: It's this fantasy which fuels his drive. He's recreating a romantic evening, repeating it with each of his victims.
Derek Morgan: He most likely recently had a relationship taken away from him. So look at men who have lost loved ones or gone through a messy divorce.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Like Bundy, these women are representations of that first loss. Uh... Bundy picked victims who had similar features to the woman that abandoned him, and we believe that our unsub is doing the exact same thing.
Emily Prentiss: These women were confident, successful, and strong, and they fought back. Which means he has the ability to overpower them fairly easily.
David Rossi: He believes, or fantasizes, he's in a relationship with these women. No matter how fleeting the initial interaction is, it's everything to him, an invitation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our technical analyst has compiled a list of locations that the victims visited prior to their death. These are high-class establishments. We're going to want to visit the same places.
Derek Morgan: So look for men who fit the profile, but also women who match victimology. If somebody's been paying a little too much attention to them, talk to them. Get a read, then jot their name down so that we can check them out.
Det. Landon Kaminski: All right, folks, pick up your canvassing assignments and get to work.

Sympathetic attendant: If there's anything I can do...
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [shakes hand] Thank you.
Evidence Tech Gina: I'm so sorry for your loss.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Thank you, Gina. Thank you for coming.
David Rossi: [next in receiving line] I think you could use some air. Jack's okay. I saw him with his cousins.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Okay. Jessica, would you make sure that, uh, Jack gets something to eat?
Jessica Brooks: Sure.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I'll be right back. Thanks.
[follows Rossi and the men pass the team sitting in chairs at a table, and go off-screen]
Emily Prentiss: [gravely] What do we do?
Derek Morgan: There's nothin' we can do. We just gotta wait him out.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks up] You think he'll ever come back?
Jennifer Jareau: [stoically] Would you?
Derek Morgan: He'll come back. I just don't know what he's gonna look like when he does.
Jennifer Jareau: We just... need to be there for him when he's ready.

"Criminal Minds: The Pact (#8.2)" (2012)
Penelope Garcia: [badgering Rossi about his unused vacation days] Everyone likes vacation.
David Rossi: Vacations are overrated.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Didn't you take a vacation two years ago?
David Rossi: Luckily, two days in I was called back.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, and now he's got thirty-one days.
Alex Blake: A month?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, sunshine is an essential source of Vitamin D. You should go to Florida and get some sunshine.
David Rossi: That's for old guys.
Derek Morgan: What about a safari in Africa?
David Rossi: Too hot.
Dr. Spencer Reid: How about Italy?
David Rossi: Too many relatives.

David Rossi: [voiceover] Paul Brown once said "If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less."

Alex Blake: If I were you, I'd give your vacation days away to a colleague in need.
David Rossi: [snaps fingers] Garcia, see how many people in the bureau have spouses in the military serving overseas.
Penelope Garcia: I am on it. Altruism is sexy.
Aaron Hotchner: [walks in] Yes, it is.

David Rossi: [voiceover] Ralph Steadman wrote, "Evil is always devising more corrosive misery though man's restless need to exact revenge out of his hate."

David Rossi: Ellen Russel?
Ellen Russel: How'd you find me?
David Rossi: Darlene never unpacked her daughter's bags from this trip. And I took a wild guess.
Ellen Russel: So what happens now?
David Rossi: What happens now is you go back to the US. I take six days off that I don't even want. Where's Darlene?
Ellen Russel: She's long gone.
David Rossi: Personally, I have mixed feelings about that one. But we'll get her, too.

Dr. Ray Mathis: I heard it took the L.A. M.E. four hours to find the second victim's entire body.
David Rossi: Yeah, he was spread all over the place.
Dr. Ray Mathis: Now, victim one had it easy by comparison. She was dragged postmortem.
Alex Blake: We thought she was alive at first.
Dr. Ray Mathis: No. She died from a series of blows to the head.
David Rossi: [as he talks, he takes out his cell phone and dials] So the unsub was scared on his first kill, then two hours later when he got his second victim, his confidence suddenly evolved.
Alex Blake: Pretty quick evolution.
David Rossi: And therein lies the problem.

"Criminal Minds: Brothers Hotchner (#8.23)" (2013)
[Before leaving with Alex, Erin has brief eye contact with David]
Erin Strauss: So I'll see you all in the jet tomorrow
[turns and walks away]
Jennifer Jareau: Could you be any more obvious?
David Rossi: I think I preferred you before you were a profiler!

David Rossi: XTC isn't actually an appetizer

David Rossi: Ecstasy is frequently used as a date rape drug, but I've never seen it cause bleeding like this.
Erin Strauss: Could it be a bad batch?
Penelope Garcia: Well, according to the M.E., the victims had so much MDMA in their systems that it caused their internal body temperature to go out of control. They boiled from the inside out.

David Rossi: You're coming, aren't you?
Erin Strauss: Just as a precaution. This team tends to go rogue when loved ones are involved.

Thane Parks: Look, I think I'd like my phone call now.
Erin Strauss: You could do that, sure.
David Rossi: Or, we could play a little game called "Let's make a deal."
Liz Leonte: I don't want to make any deals without my lawyer.
Alex Blake: Yeah, this one you do. See, this is what somebody did to your boss.
David Rossi: You see, Thane, whoever it is that's out there, he managed to get to Jim Peters outside of his apartment.
Jennifer Jareau: The person who did that isn't very happy right now. And he is waiting, just waiting to get his hands on someone else connected to your club's operation. And you know what we're gonna do?
Erin Strauss: We're gonna let you go.
Thane Parks: You're what?
David Rossi: What makes you think that if he was able to get to the big boss, he'd have any trouble getting his hands on you?
Alex Blake: So, like I said, we're gonna let you walk right out of here...
Liz Leonte: All right. I'll tell you what you want to know. Just...
Thane Parks: You have to protect me.

Aaron Hotchner: How does a guy who has everything going for him make one self-destructive choice after another? And then when it seems like he's gonna get his act together, it all falls apart again.
David Rossi: Were you two ever close?
Aaron Hotchner: He was in first grade when I was sent off to boarding school. I was the screw-up making bad choices. But at a certain point, I realized I could either continue to do that or I could get my act together. But this doesn't seem to occur to Sean.
David Rossi: I know he didn't show up for Haley's funeral.
Aaron Hotchner: Right. And at that point, I decided I couldn't make him a priority anymore. I was done.

"Criminal Minds: The Performer (#5.7)" (2009)
[on Reid's description of blood drinking as a possible part of "classic cannibalism"]
David Rossi: "Classic cannibalism"? Lovely job we have.

Emily Prentiss: [searching Tara's apartment] This is almost exactly like my first apartment in Georgetown. My mom wanted me to stay on campus, but I was determined to make it, so... I waitressed on the weekends to swing it.
David Rossi: You must have been a hell of a waitress to swing an apartment in Georgetown.
Emily Prentiss: No, I sucked. I only got by 'cause my mom put money in my account every week and we both pretended I didn't know.

Emily Prentiss: It never ceases to amaze me how dark obsession can get.
David Rossi: And with a pop star? I mean, I was obsessed with the Rat Pack, but I wouldn't have killed for Frank or Dean.
Aaron Hotchner: No, you just drank whiskey and smoked cigars.
David Rossi: Oh, and this coming from the man whose favorite record is the Beatles' 'White Album'.
Aaron Hotchner: Just because Manson hijacked it doesn't have to ruin it for the rest of us.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's why I stick to Beethoven. There's no chance of guilt by association.
Emily Prentiss: Well, yeah? Have you ever seen a movie called "A Clockwork Orange"?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [shaking his head] Mm-mmm.
[the rest of the team snickers with laughter]

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So, they've already set up a task force in Los Angeles
David Rossi: This isn't their first serial case
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You remember detective Owen Kim?
Aaron Hotchner: From the stalker case
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, you remember that case, don't you Spence?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I do remember that case
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Yeah, ever talked to, uhm, Lila anymore?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, we should probably focus on this case right now. It's a little more pertinet

Derek Morgan: All right, so tell us about blood drinkers, Reid
Dr. Spencer Reid: Human blood consumption, or clinical vampirism, is known as Renfield's syndrome. Named after the, eh, insect eating character in Bram Stoker's novel Dracula
Emily Prentiss: Are they sadists?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Not necessarily. Pain to the victim is usually only a byproduct, blood is the focus. Renfield's syndrome is usually accompanied by varying levels of schizophrenia and occasionally more classic cannibalism, if the condition evolves
David Rossi: Classic cannibalism! Lovely job we have
Dr. Spencer Reid: I will say this: true cases are exceedingly rare
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh, that's comforting. Sort of

Lt. Detective Owen Kim: So, what'd you tell the press?
David Rossi: My official statement was that I hate Los Angeles

"Criminal Minds: Lockdown (#10.16)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] Dwight D. Eisenhower once wrote: "If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking is freedom"

David Rossi: 2000 inmates and probably half of them already in there for violent crimes. Well, the good news and the bad news is we've already got our suspect pool!

Dr. Spencer Reid: The business of incarceration is extremely lucrative and virtually recession proof. The Citadel Corrections Company has more than quadrupled their holding since they were founded 20 years ago. They now have 19 facilities all across the country with 59,603 prisoners in their charge
David Rossi: Guess I had it wrong all this time, crime does pay!

Warden Miles Tate: Sorry, there is no cell signal inside the walls. We had to jam it.
Derek Morgan: You get inmates smuggling phones in?
Warden Miles Tate: Yeah, it's been a problem, one of many
Jennifer Jareau: What about WiFi?
Warden Miles Tate: We got you set up as close to the router as possible, but it's still glitch. Drives me nuts. Back when I worked on the Hill I couldn't survive without my phone
Kate Callahan: Hm, I got a teenager at home who knows exactly how you feel!
Warden Miles Tate: Ha ha, Well, we have got our good old fashion landlines and a fax machine for you, though.
David Rossi: I thought I was the only one that still use those!

David Rossi: [Entering prison interrogation room] Mr. Sam Pritchett? I am agent David Rossi. How are you doing?
Sam Pritchett: I can't complain
David Rossi: Well, you could, but who would be listening, right?

David Rossi: [enters to interrogate a prisoner] Mr. Watson, sorry for the wait
Julio Watson: I hope you all know I had to rearrange my entire schedule. I had back to back meetings and a conference call right after lunch
David Rossi: Well, we appreciate your understanding

"Criminal Minds: Reckoner (#5.3)" (2009)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. -Blaise Pascal

David Rossi: [voiceover] I have always found that mercy bears richer fruit than strict justice. -Abraham Lincoln

David Rossi: Doomed to be star crossed lovers, destined to wander what might have been

Medical Examiner: The hand removal is less than surgical. He used the basic double toothed saw
David Rossi: So, the guy we're looking for, has no medical training
Medical Examiner: Not the kind I've had

David Rossi: I, eh, may be able to hit on some old contacts, but I need to do it alone
Emily Prentiss: Contacts?
Derek Morgan: Do we want to know?
Emily Prentiss: Best not

Sean: You're either a dead man or a cop. Which one is it?
David Rossi: Right now, I'm just an old friend

"Criminal Minds: Out of the Light (#6.22)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Agathon said: "Of this alone, even God is deprived - the power of making things that are past never to have been."

David Rossi: How was your weekend?
Aaron Hotchner: Good. Jack had two soccer games yesterday.
David Rossi: They win?
Aaron Hotchner: Oh, we don't keep score in Jack's age group.
David Rossi: That bad, huh?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Autopsy report revealed fragments of glass in some of Angela's wounds.
Aaron Hotchner: Were they able to identify the blades used?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Only that there were a number of them.
David Rossi: The doctor mentioned she had heavy metals in her blood.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, the highest one being lead.
Derek Morgan: Well, add that to the unique patterns of her wounds and the glass in her cuts. Maybe this guy worked with stained glass. Talbot had stained glass in his front door.
Ashley Seaver: The Owens had stained glass window chimes in their condo.
David Rossi: Lead fumes can get into your system during the soldering process.
[Seaver gives Rossi a weird glance]
David Rossi: What? My second wife was crafty.

Aaron Hotchner: And now they've asked me to coach.
David Rossi: You're kidding. Why'd they ask you?
Aaron Hotchner: Focus.
David Rossi: Don't doubt that.
Aaron Hotchner: You can't get half the parents to look up from their phones during the game. At least I participate.
David Rossi: It's not like you're too busy.

David Rossi: What have you got?
Derek Morgan: It looks like this guy Talbot had another hobby. The girls in these photos can't be more than 16 years old.
David Rossi: Photos? Morgan, how many are there?
Derek Morgan: I'm thinking 30, 40.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Fifty-four.
Derek Morgan: Excuse me. That's 54.

David Rossi: I know you're gonna do that coaching thing. So, I thought maybe this might help.
Aaron Hotchner: Soccer formations?
David Rossi: I'm Italian.
Aaron Hotchner: [loughs] You've been holding out on me... I could use an assistant.
David Rossi: How early do they start their games?
Aaron Hotchner: Early... Thanks.

"Criminal Minds: Hero Worship (#10.14)" (2015)
Dr. Spencer Reid: What are you doing?
David Rossi: Moving my rook.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Do you even know how to play chess?
David Rossi: Who do you think Gideon played with before he met you?

David Rossi: [*seeing Reid is playing chess with himself*] Again?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh - it helps me focus.
David Rossi: You know, in light of recent events, I think it's ok to give yourself a break.
David Rossi: An entire night, though.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What do you mean?
David Rossi: You're wearing the same shirt from yesterday, and you're covering it with a cardigan from your go bag.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Guess I must have gotten a little carried away last night.
David Rossi: Well, it happens.

David Rossi: Reid? Are you working late?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Just, ah, waiting for rushhour to subside. A lot of close personal contact on the subway right now
David Rossi: It's 10 o'clock, trains have been empty for a while! Go home! The chess will keep till tomorrow

David Rossi: Eh, Einstein?
Dylan Einstein: Huh, bet you don't ever forget it!
David Rossi: You're kind of young to be a forensic specialist, aren't you?
Dylan Einstein: Finished medical school at 19 and then residency afterwards. My dad really wanted me to live up to the family name

David Rossi: I can't believe you've got the major to do this
Aaron Hotchner: Once we apprehend this guy, it will all have been his idea
David Rossi: Ah! Now it makes sense!
[Major walks towards them]
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you for agreeing to help us
Mayor: I just hope you're right, otherwise I'm going to look bad! And I'll make sure you do to!
[Major leaves]
David Rossi: And now I remember why I didn't go into politics

David Rossi: You're ever going to finish this game?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a tough one. Playing yourself can be difficult
David Rossi: Playing a ghost even more so! He's gone Spencer. Keeping the game going won't change that
Dr. Spencer Reid: I know. I just thought that... maybe I can keep part of him alive if his last game never ended
David Rossi: Neither side will ever win playing like this
Dr. Spencer Reid: He hated goodbyes
David Rossi: Gideon also hated unfinished business, so let's finish it!

"Criminal Minds: Surface Tension (#12.11)" (2017)
Jennifer Jareau: Do you think Spence is making a mistake bringing his mom home?
David Rossi: It's hard to say. Not long ago I told him he shouldn't waste the precious time he has left with her. I guess he took it to heart.
Jennifer Jareau: I worry about him, you know?
David Rossi: Yeah, it'll be fine. If it proves too difficult, he'll adjust.
Jennifer Jareau: I just have a bad feeling...
David Rossi: About what?
Jennifer Jareau: I don't even know. I can't put my finger on it.
David Rossi: JJ, we have enough problems in this life that are real and present. Let's not bring imagined ones to the table, too.
Jennifer Jareau: Ok. I will drink to that.
[Rossi try to hand over the glass of Scotch]
Jennifer Jareau: [JJ make it looks like she have a glass] Oh, in spirit.

Penelope Garcia: [Starting a 3-way conference call] Hey-o! Beaming Reid into the starship BAU
David Rossi: Hey, there's my favorite genius! Welcome back
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's good to be back. I'm sorry about all this trouble

David Rossi: Huh, I wonder how Reid's doing
Jennifer Jareau: I know! He's been on my mind too
David Rossi: Ironic, isn't it?
Jennifer Jareau: What?
David Rossi: How eventually we become parents to our parents

Dr. Spencer Reid: Guys, are they cover-subsidence or cover-collapse sinkholes?
Luke Alvez: Given their shallow layer of repair, I'd say they're cover-subsidence
David Rossi: I'd chime in with an opinion as well if I knew what the hell you two are talking about
Dr. Spencer Reid: Cover-subsidence is where the ground really gradually begins to form a depression, usually circular, which occurs over the course of weeks or months
Luke Alvez: Cover-collapse is the nasty one. That's when the earth suddenly goes out from under your feet like a trapdoor

Stephen Walker: Good news! We got a hot on the unsub's DNA
David Rossi: How's that not great news?
Emily Prentiss: What's his name?
Stephen Walker: That's why it's mot great news. We don't have a name

David Rossi: We think he may have burned himself, right? Maybe he was in some sort of accident during that time
Stephen Walker: What kind of accident?
David Rossi: No idea!
[Walker frowns at him]
David Rossi: What? Alvez doesn't have a monopoly on grasping at straws

"Criminal Minds: Penelope (#3.9)" (2007)
Aaron Hotchner: So, victimology. Why Garcia?
David Rossi: Look at her.
Aaron Hotchner: What are you saying?
David Rossi: You don't look like that by accident. She wears her individuality like a shield.

David Rossi: You look like crap.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, four days, no leads. I feel like crap.

Kevin Lynch: Wow!
David Rossi: What is it?
Kevin Lynch: This system is insane! It's completely Linux based. Open Source programming! You don't see this in government systems, I mean outside like Switzerland

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: What's Hotch doing?
David Rossi: My guess is, wishing anybody else was the leader of this team.

David Rossi: All right, let's cut the crap! You need to be straight with us. Right now. Look at me, not them!
Penelope Garcia: I am not hiding anything...
David Rossi: You got shot! Most people get shot for a reason!
[Garcia looks around]
David Rossi: Eyes here!
Derek Morgan: Ease up Rossi!
David Rossi: You got a room full of people here, willing to believe that an FBI agent is trying to kill you! We need to know everything you do on company time that we don't know about!
Derek Morgan: Come on, man!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad...
David Rossi: What? Spit it out!
Penelope Garcia: It's nothing bad! It's just... I council victim's families and they know where I work, so sometimes they ask to look into their cases for them.
David Rossi: What does that mean?
Penelope Garcia: Just means that the cases, the unsolved ones, I tag them, so whoever investigates them knows that the FBI considers them a priority.
Aaron Hotchner: You're not authorized to do that.
Penelope Garcia: I know! I was just trying to help.

"Criminal Minds: Public Enemy (#5.15)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy. -F. Scott Fitzgerald.

David Rossi: [voiceover] William Shakespeare wrote: When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

David Rossi: [talking with Father Kendellen] I don't like to see crime tape in front of church doors. I can't imagine how you feel.

Derek Morgan: [reviewing the case file] Aside from m.o., victimology's all over the place. It's like this guy doesn't care who he's killing, just how.
David Rossi: And he's doing it in public without compunction for who sees him.
Aaron Hotchner: Do we have a sketch?
Jennifer Jareau: All anyone can agree on is that it's a white male between 25 and 40.
Emily Prentiss: Well, that narrows it down to all of Providence.
David Rossi: Hard to fault the witnesses, given how bloody these murders must be.
Derek Morgan: What bothers me is the cooling-off period is getting shorter and shorter, but no attempt to hide who he is or what he's doing. I mean, an unsub this bold could be suffering from a major psychotic break.
Jennifer Jareau: I already asked Detective Moreland to pull recent releases on prisons and mental hospitals.
Aaron Hotchner: We need to get to Providence ASAP. Whether he's suffering a psychotic break or not, this could be the start of a spree.
David Rossi: And anyone is a potential target.

Aaron Hotchner: We suggest that you think of this unsub not as a slasher but as an arsonist. Because the gratification he's getting isn't from the physical act of murder, but from the public's reaction to it.
Emily Prentiss: Arsonists draw attention to themselves through the fires they set. The locations they choose are highly symbolic to them. While this unsub will never set an actual fire, he has the same psychosis as one who does.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Our unsub fits that model. His locations have been pillars of the community. The victims he picks aren't as important as the effect of killing them outside of your favorite restaurant or place of worship.
Derek Morgan: By picking locales with the highest visibility, he's creating the highest level of fear in that neighborhood, which reinforces his feeling of power.
Detective Jake Moreland: Yeah, but arsonists don't set out to hurt people. This guy clearly does.
Derek Morgan: That's true. And this unsub definitely falls in the category of sociopath.
Emily Prentiss: His victims are there only to achieve his goal. He doesn't have the ability to empathize with them. To him, they're just... tools for him to use, no different than a can of gasoline and a match.
David Rossi: But even how he kills tells us something. Slashing a throat is a messy, visual act. It's designed to create attention, just like a fire.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Arsonists are often mission based. They need to make sure their first fire has burnt out before they set another one. They're also highly disciplined and focused. If conditions aren't right to set a fire or, in this case, slash a throat, they'll move on.
Aaron Hotchner: In addition to his need to kill, he has self-control. He has a short cooling off period because he's enjoying what he's doing. This in turn feeds his ego and keeps him covering his tracks.
David Rossi: This makes him even more dangerous. If he gets frustrated, encounters too many obstacles, or suffers a blow to his narcissistic ego, he could go on an all-out rampage.

"Criminal Minds: Breath Play (#10.17)" (2015)
David Rossi: What? I dabbled in my senior year.
Kate Callahan: Oh... college.
David Rossi: Oh... high school.

David Rossi: [opening quote] "There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror" - W. Somerset Maugham

Dr. Spencer Reid: How long was it before the start of the bruising and the kill?
Dr. Paul Stumpo: Roughly 6 hours
David Rossi: Nobody has sex for 6 straight hours, not even Sting!

Penelope Garcia: [Rossi calls her] I am yours, give it to me! Wait! Sir, I meant that in the "how can help you?"-way, not in the... 'cause you're super lovely! And I am on speaker, aren't I?
David Rossi: Garcia, what can you tell us about the romance novel Bare Reflections?
Penelope Garcia: I can tell you it's very popular. And let me see, typing and checking and typing and... it is way more popular than I thought

Detective Angela Pierce: Where does he find somebody like-minded?
Dr. Spencer Reid: In Bare Reflection, Carson Bare takes Amber to an event called a munch
Detective Angela Pierce: Which is?
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Rossi takes out his cell phone and starts typing] According to the book it's a social gathering of people interested in BDSM
Detective Angela Pierce: Where the heck do you find that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We should call Garcia
David Rossi: [showing his phone] I've found one.

"Criminal Minds: Elliott's Pond (#12.6)" (2016)
David Rossi: [opening quotation] "The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other." - Mario Puzo.

David Rossi: [David Rossi make a speech at Emily's Suprise party] I've been in and out of here since 1978, but I know this is where I belong. I've seen a lot of great agents pass through those doors, and a lot of them have moved on. Now, most of this team has been together for over a decade. But I promise you, that doesn't happen often. Now, I've heard the rumblings about how lucky we are, and it's true, but the truth is, it's what happens... When we're not on a case that has defined who we are. We stand beside one another, through good, through bad, because we're family. So... To Aaron and Jack, I don't know who's luckier, but it warms my heart to know that they'll be together every day and safe.
Jennifer Jareau: Hear, hear.
David Rossi: And to Emily, our friend and new Unit Chief. Welcome home.

David Rossi: [to the whole team] And one more thing. Hotch spoke to the director as to who should replace him. Don't worry, it won't be me. You know, I'm allergic to paperwork

David Rossi: [On the phone] So, uhm, how are you holding up?
Penelope Garcia: Well, eh, you know how I am with change
David Rossi: Yeah, that's why I asked

David Rossi: I'll patch in Garcia
Penelope Garcia: [Picks up the phone] I was feeling forgotten
Dr. Tara Lewis: Never!

"Criminal Minds: Big Sea (#6.23)" (2011)
David, Rossi: [voiceover] The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness. -Joseph Conrad

David, Rossi: Some years back, Morgan's cousin fled a stalker. She made it to South Carolina. She was never seen or heard from again.
Ashley Seaver: Was it the stalker?
David, Rossi: He killed himself two weeks later, so we never found out for sure. But Morgan's profile led straight to him. So whenever unidentified female remains turn up, he gets that call.

David, Rossi: Think it's time to rethink Cindi?
Derek Morgan: Rossi, the only connection right now is Charleston. It's weak.
David, Rossi: Victim number five is an African-American woman in her twenties who died in 2004. That's not weak.
David, Rossi: My aunt has spent years obsessing over Cindi's last few hours. She doesn't go out. She doesn't sleep. She forgets to take her medication. It's killing her, Rossi.
David, Rossi: It hasn't been easy for you, either.
Derek Morgan: But everything I've learned as a profiler has taught me that it's not about what I want to be true. It's about what I can prove.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't think this was written under duress. You said Dr. Cormick wasn't taking medication for Parkinson's, right? Look at her handwriting. No indication of tremors or shaking. There's a drug called trilamide. In minute doses it treats Parkinson's, but its main use is for seasickness.
David, Rossi: Something a fisherman would have access to.
Derek Morgan: And criminals in South America. Intel reports say they figured out a high dose makes a victim totally compliant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, they slip it in your drink or blow the powder in your face and nasodermal absorption's almost immediate. You're instantaneously susceptible to any suggestion. There have been reports of locals letting thugs into their apartments to rob them, even helping them load the getaway trucks.

Blake Wells: [Morgan shows Cindi's photo] I didn't dump her there, did I? She means something to you, doesn't she?
Derek Morgan: They're all special to me, Blake. If you can't remember her, we can just move on.
Blake Wells: I do remember her. You want to know, Agent Morgan, who she cried out for right before I made her slice her own throat?
Derek Morgan: Go ahead. Tell me.
Blake Wells: You. She cried out for you. Where were you when she bled out on the floor of my boat?
Derek Morgan: You're a sick son of a bitch. But you didn't kill her.
Blake Wells: I did kill her.
Derek Morgan: No. You didn't. And I was very clear about the rules. Deal's off.
[Morgan leaves the room]
Blake Wells: I did kill her. You said you wanted to learn from me, and now you won't listen! Hey, come back here! Agent Morgan! I did kill her!
David, Rossi: How'd you know?
Derek Morgan: He knows his victims' names. He didn't know Cindi's.
Blake Wells: Agent Morgan, you get back here!

"Criminal Minds: A Beautiful Disaster (#11.18)" (2016)
Derek Morgan: Tell me you got something.
David Rossi: A casing and a rifle up on the roof.
Jennifer Jareau: This guy isn't sloppy. He's sending us a message.
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia, we need to access the surveillance footage.
Penelope Garcia: [leaving] Of course. I'm on it.
Derek Morgan: All right, what else we got?
David Rossi: That's it right now.

Dr. Spencer Reid: How'd he take it?
Aaron Hotchner: As expected.
Penelope Garcia: Sir, I know that when Morgan was on leave after his abduction, you encouraged him to stay away from the case.
David Rossi: And let me guess: he didn't.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Why leave a note so seemingly on the nose when every other action has been calculated for maximum pain? It has to mean more than simply "I'm angry". It's a clue, or a symbol. It means something to Morgan, and I think Chazz knows that.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, he wants to drive Morgan to exact revenge.
David Rossi: How do you think he's doing?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, after the physical and emotional stress of six months ago and now this? The guy's a saint.
David Rossi: He passed his return evals.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, but we wrote the questions. He knows exactly what to say.

Aaron Hotchner: Morgan never calls me Aaron. Why would he start?
Jennifer Jareau: What else did he say?
Aaron Hotchner: That of all people, I should understand.
Jennifer Jareau: He was talking about Foyet.
Aaron Hotchner: Yes, but he mentioned that earlier. Why bring it up again?
David Rossi: He wanted you to relate to his rage and back off?
Dr. Tara Lewis: Is there any other relevance to Foyet?
Aaron Hotchner: He attacked in my home. Maybe Morgan subconsciously let that slip.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but Morgan's house isn't red.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [realizing something] Yeah, but he's renovated a lot of houses over the years. What if it's one of those?

David Rossi: I just saw your prince down the hall. He's sleeping like it's his job.
Derek Morgan: [laughs] 'Cause it is.
David Rossi: Whew. Pretty incredible, huh?
Derek Morgan: I'm so grateful.
David Rossi: You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.

"Criminal Minds: X (#10.1)" (2014)
David Rossi: All of the dump sites are pretty isolated, but this one takes the cake.

Kate Callahan: When we arrest this guy, can I do the honors?
David Rossi: We might have to flip for it.

David Rossi: [to Reid] Hey, Einstein, you're awfully quiet!

David Rossi: [opening quote] "I remain too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind" - Edgar Allen Poe

David Rossi: You led the Ludwig investigation in upstate New York
Kate Callahan: Nasty piece of work, that guy. You know the story?
David Rossi: Well, it was all over the news. I saw the arrest. He was all busted up, broken nose and everything
Kate Callahan: Yeah, well, that's what happens when they trip over their feet, right?
David Rossi: Oh, yeah, I have seen that happen before. I know that case couldn't have been easy
Kate Callahan: If you have found one that is, let me know

"Criminal Minds: Rite of Passage (#5.19)" (2010)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy.
David Rossi: Hmm. You don't often hear "popular" and "decapitation" in the same sentence.

Sheriff Ruiz: [after seeing how quickly Garcia completes a search] If you're looking for a gift to get me, one of her would be greatly appreciated.
David Rossi: We're pretty sure they broke the mold.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, where's Hotch?
Jennifer Jareau: Budget meeting
Derek Morgan: Well, maybe he'll get us a raise
David Rossi: They're cutting, not raising. I just hope they don't take the coffee
Dr. Spencer Reid: Then I quit
David Rossi: Oh, yeah. That'll save them like 50 bucks a week

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Try not to shoot that inside the car
David Rossi: You mean: try not to deafen you?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Exactly

Dr. Spencer Reid: Is it her?
David Rossi: What's left of her

"Criminal Minds: Epilogue (#7.6)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable." ~~ Erich Fromm

David Rossi: [voiceover] "The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it." ~~ Mary Catherine Bateson

Jennifer Jareau: Now, that I noticed.
Derek Morgan: Is something going on?
Emily Prentiss: How did it go the other night?
Derek Morgan: What happened the other night?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You okay?
David Rossi: Well, why wouldn't I be?
Jennifer Jareau: You seem distracted.
David Rossi: I'm considering a purchase.
Derek Morgan: Come on, now, Rossi, you know we're not buying that. What's really going on?
David Rossi: Look, it was a late night with Ringo and not enough coffee. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in Rock Band.
Jennifer Jareau: All right, what do you think?
Emily Prentiss: He could be telling the truth. I only played him to the easy level.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't tell.
David Rossi: And you never will.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Let's get started.

Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm a man of science. I didn't know how to deal with it. There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: What if this UnSub has had a similar experience and this is his way of looking for answers?
David Rossi: If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd? Why not just talk to him?
Emily Prentiss: He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before.
Jennifer Jareau: Once isn't enough?
Emily Prentiss: Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the UnSub did. He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that. Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You actually died?
Derek Morgan: All right, but resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment of so-called death.
David Rossi: Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Keep them dead longer.

Emily Prentiss: I take it that wasn't Ringo inviting you to another party on the phone yesterday.
David Rossi: It was Carolyn. She has ALS.
Emily Prentiss: [exhales sharply] Phew. Rossi, I'm... what do you need?
David Rossi: It's not what I need, Emily. It's what she's asking me to do. The disease is acting quickly. Carolyn is already suffering, and she doesn't want to go out that way. She wants to die on her own terms. And when this case is over and we get back, she asked if I would help her do it.
Emily Prentiss: [stunned] What are you gonna do?
David Rossi: I don't have a choice.

"Criminal Minds: The Caller (#9.10)" (2013)
David Rossi: [closing quote] "We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings" - Albert Einstein

Aaron Hotchner: The UnSub wanted him to appear peaceful... Remorse?
David Rossi: Well, that's in stark contrast to the violent imagery of blood on the Tafferts' front door.
Aaron Hotchner: "I shall see the blood and pass you by."
David Rossi: Exodus.
Aaron Hotchner: The 10th plague of Egypt, the death of the firstborn. God commanded Moses to tell the Israelites to put lamb's blood above their door to spare their firstborn.
David Rossi: The blood on the Tafferts' door could be related, but the UnSub's got it backwards.
Aaron Hotchner: Unless he thinks he spared Andy a fate worse than death.

Marla Golden: When I first came to this country, I did things I'm not proud of. But I had to survive.
Derek Morgan: Did you ever do anything involving a child?
Marla Golden: No, I would never.
Derek Morgan: What about any S&M? Were you ever paid to be tortured?
Marla Golden: Once a long time ago, there was a couple. It was an American man, and his wife from... Eastern Europe or somewhere. She was very petite. The man wanted to torture us with whips and videotape it.
David Rossi: How bad was the torture?
Marla Golden: For me it was pretend. I didn't let it get too far. But his wife seemed really scared. For her I think it was brutal.

Jennifer Jareau: No signs of forced entry or a struggle, according to the initial police report.
Penelope Garcia: Mom and dad put him to bed at ten. Woke up this morning, he was gone.
Alex Blake: Any visitors or workers to the house recently?
Penelope Garcia: No, but the parents say in the last two weeks, they've received five phone calls from what sounds like a little boy prank calling them.
Aaron Hotchner: They complained to authorities, but police determined that no laws had been broken.
Penelope Garcia: Mm-hmm. The little boy says "I'm gonna get you", according to police reports. There's a lot of crazy people talking in the background; it sounds like it's coming from an asylum or prison.
Derek Morgan: Well, I'd say the calls might coincidental, except the boy called again right after the parents found Andy missing, and he had a different message this time; "Did you see what I did?".
Jennifer Jareau: So he's taunting them. Maybe this is about revenge.
Alex Blake: "I'm gonna get you" is typically a threat, but in the case of children, it can also be a phrase used during play.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, this sounds similar to a cold case from fifteen years ago. Frankie Clayvin of Memphis.
David Rossi: I remember that. Gideon handled it. It obviously pre-dates all of you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Frankie Clayvin was nine years old at the time. He never made it home from school one day, was found dead in the woods thirty-six hours later five miles from his house.

Jennifer Jareau: Phone calls before an abduction/murder? It's a rare signature.
Derek Morgan: But if it is the same unsub, a dormancy period of fifteen years is highly unusual. Maybe we're looking at a copycat.
David Rossi: If I'm not mistaken, Frankie Clayvin was killed within two hours of his abduction.
Aaron Hotchner: Which means we're wasting time. Let's go.

"Criminal Minds: Final Shot (#9.3)" (2013)
Jennifer Jareau: Who else uses a .308 rifle?
David Rossi: In Texas? Hunters... the Minutemen... housewives... which, unfortunately, doesn't narrow down the field.

David Rossi: [closing quote] "Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's future and we are all mortal" - John F. Kenedy

David Rossi: What about the increase in calls and letters to the Dallas office?
Penelope Garcia: I have checked all the assassination buffs and conspiracy theorists, including myself, and I am sort of sad to say we're all in the clear

Aaron Hotchner: How much variation is there in the traffic pattern here?
Agent Tanya Mays: This is it. It's pretty much the same all the time, except in the middle of the night, maybe.
Aaron Hotchner: So the unsub had to time his shot to the quarter second to shoot between traffic and the gas pumps and hit all three victims.
David Rossi: And he did it from a concealed position.
Aaron Hotchner: He's better than good. He's a sharpshooter.

Dr. Spencer Reid: We have to hope Maya follows the rules. The shelter says the women are supposed to remain in hiding for at least two months. They're supposed to stay behind closed windows, closed doors. Volunteers bring supplies and food to them.
Agent Tanya Mays: Maya left her husband six weeks ago, so the killer's gotta wait another two weeks for her to come out. There's a good chance he'll give up. He can't wait forever.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, a sniper can wait up to seventy-two hours without sleeping.
Agent Tanya Mays: Seriously?
David Rossi: That's part of their training. They can stay awake for seventy-two hours and reamin completely focused on their target.
Agent Tanya Mays: How?
Aaron Hotchner: By using a mental exercise called fantasy integration. The sniper creates a scenario involving the target that keeps that person at the forefront of their mind.
Derek Morgan: Often, they'll imagine a place where they're with the target doing something together that takes time; for example, building a car.
Jennifer Jareau: For some, the fantasy begins the minute they're assigned a target, and nothing will distract them.
Agent Tanya Mays: So as long as she stays inside, she should be safe, right?
Alex Blake: The problem is staying cooped up for a couple months without a breath of fresh air is hard to do.
David Rossi: It's what the sniper's counting on, and she has no idea he's waiting for her.

"Criminal Minds: A Shade of Gray (#4.21)" (2009)
David Rossi: We don't get to pick who wins, detective. Even if that means no one does.

David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] Dr. Burton Grebin once said "To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself."

David Rossi: [closing quotation, voiceover] Andre Maurois wrote "Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold."

Emily Prentiss: Glad they took our advice and started the press conference
David Rossi: Yeah, but it would be nice if there weren't so many people walking all over the crime scene

David Rossi: You know what we're looking at: 99% of abducted children are killed in the first 24 hours
Capt. Lancaster: I know. I'm gonna check on them
[Walks away]
David Rossi: We saw the pictures, we know what this guy does to little boys
Derek Morgan: Rossi, Kyle Murphy might be the 1% that makes it
David Rossi: Could take a miracle
Derek Morgan: For his sake, let's hope we get one

"Criminal Minds: Fate (#10.9)" (2014)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future" - John F. Kennedy

David Rossi: [closing quote] "When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn and where we end up is really in fact where we always intended to be" - Julia Glass

Joy Struthers: [while lowering her car window] Hey
David Rossi: [gives coffee] I thought you might need this. Yesterday when I saw that you were following me I thought it had to be a coincidence but by today... hmm... probably not
Joy Struthers: It's a long story
David Rossi: Well, I am a writer, I hate the short ones! So what are you, a PI?
Joy Struthers: Yeah, you can call me that, sure
David Rossi: Who do you work for?
Joy Struthers: I can't say, my client is very secretive
David Rossi: Well, you can't be with the IRS, my accountant would have called.
Joy Struthers: Look...
David Rossi: Can't be with the State Department: a spy would know better that to leave her target's dossier on the front seat!
Joy Struthers: Yeah, right
[and moves the dossier to the car floor]
David Rossi: And I know you don't work for my cigar guy because he makes all of his deliveries straight to my door. So why don't you tell whoever it is that if they want to discuss something, they should get out of the sandbox and call me themselves!
Joy Struthers: Got it
David Rossi: Now, most people would ask for their coffee back, but being a gentleman... c'est la vie! Oh, and uh, get yourself an earpiece! Those things will give you brain cancer!

David Rossi: [On the phone] Penelope? I need you to get some in tell
Penelope Garcia: Oh, like Nancy Drew style or Jason Bourne? Or I can do a ratio, I can do like 27% Nancy, 53% Jason, and...
David Rossi: Well, whatever you think is appropriate! I am being followed
Penelope Garcia: What? Like a stalker?
David Rossi: No, PI. I just got to find out who she's working for. Maybe someone I put away or could be a crazy fan
Penelope Garcia: OMG! You're the groupie! You're officially a rock star!
David Rossi: Yeah, right!

David Rossi: I tried that once! The woman left her scripts all over my house
Kate Callahan: Wait! She broke in?
David Rossi: 6 times!
Kate Callahan: Where is she now?
David Rossi: She's doing 5 to 10.
Kate Callahan: Oh, classy!

"Criminal Minds: Nelson's Sparrow (#10.13)" (2015)
David Rossi: The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. Harriet Beecher Stowe.

David Rossi: [seeing a car approach the scene] Who's that?
Aaron Hotchner: [recognizing Gideon's son] Stephen.
David Rossi: Oh, my god. He's not a kid anymore.

David Rossi: [about Gideon to his son, Steven] He was brilliant at his job because of you. He wanted your world to be as great as he knew *you* would be.

David Rossi: Is this how it's gonna go? My friends dying off? First Erin, then Harrison and now Jason. Disease is one thing but... murder?
Aaron Hotchner: I haven't talked to him in years
David Rossi: Me neither. How does that happen? Back in the day, I would have bet my life that we'd always be close, but maybe we never were

Dr. Spencer Reid: I have never been in this building
David Rossi: No need to. It was the bomb shelter back in the day. I am sure we can find something dehydrated if you get hungry. Damn if it doesn't smells the same! We're back where it all started, my friend. We were the Behavioral Science Unit back then
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Looks at an old computer] This is awesome
David Rossi: They call it the BS unit

"Criminal Minds: Magnum Opus (#8.13)" (2013)
Alex Blake: He removed the white blood cells. Plasma.
David Rossi: Why would he take the plasma?
Aaron Hotchner: It would make it thicker. Easier to use as a paint.
Derek Morgan: What type of equipment would it take to do that?
Alex Blake: You can easily buy a centrifuge online these days for a couple hundred bucks.
Aaron Hotchner: What other reasons would he have for separating the plasma from the blood?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's a habit.
Aaron Hotchner: Reid.
Jennifer Jareau: Spence.
Aaron Hotchner: I didn't expect you back this soon. You sure you're ready?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, but I think I figured something out.

David Rossi: [Walking through an ill-lit hallway] The unsub sold his painting to this place?
Alex Blake: It reminds me of the 80's.
[Rossi looks at Alex]
Alex Blake: What?
David Rossi: Do I even want to know?
Alex Blake: Probably!

Andre: Welcome, my name is Andre. Before we start, I need you to fill out a small waiver.
Alex Blake: No, no, no, no, we're not a couple.
Andre: That's okay, we cater all kinds of relationships.
David Rossi: Well, our relationship is with the FBI.

Penelope Garcia: Ladies and gents, the Golden State awaits. Meet who is formerly Gary Porter. He was found dead outside a San Francisco nightclub last night, and Pamela Hurd, she was found near a cable car stop in San Francisco's Mission district.
Jennifer Jareau: They were both found wrapped in clear plastic.
Derek Morgan: Says here they were dead only a few hours before they were found. And that's not long enough for the elements to have made them that pale.
Penelope Garcia: Because that's where we enter the town of Weirdville on the corner of eww and icky icky. Both victims were almost completely drained of their blood. Less than a pint left.
Alex Blake: He's exsanguinating them.
Aaron Hotchner: While they were still alive.
Derek Morgan: Well it might be utilitarian. He needs them alive so they can pump out the blood themselves.
David Rossi: Draining a body like that is extremely hard to do. Once the heart stops pumping, it's difficult to continue to extract the blood.
Alex Blake: So the question is how is he doing it?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, I wish you wouldn't ask that, 'cause now I've gotta show this picture.
Aaron Hotchner: There are large bore holes in the femoral artery of each victim.
Jennifer Jareau: Our unsub could have medical knowledge.
Aaron Hotchner: It's possible. We'll know more when we get there. Wheels up in thirty.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe that this unsub is a white male in his 20s or 30s, and he thinks of himself as a painter or an artist.
Alex Blake: The placement of the victims tells us a lot about who he is.
Jennifer Jareau: Pamela Hurd was found near a painting done by a little-known San Francisco artist, Henry Floyd.
Derek Morgan: Gary Porter was posed near a piece of graffiti art by a street artist named Cypher, who is currently wanted by the police.
Aaron Hotchner: And the third victim, Lynn Stevens, was found near a mural painted by inner-city youths.
Alex Blake: Finally, Amy Fortner was placed near the statue of St. Luke, patron saint of the artist.
Jennifer Jareau: This is a compulsion; it's not accidental. He is obsessed with art.
David Rossi: All of the works of art are neglected, ignored, cast aside. It's how he feels about himself.
Aaron Hotchner: We believe it's also the reason that he's evolved into removing the victims' eyelids. He's forcing them to see what he sees.
Jennifer Jareau: There's no sexual component with these murders, but that's because the blood and the use of the blood is his sexual release.
Det. Lennon Miles: So, wait. What... what is he doing with the blood?
Aaron Hotchner: Because he's so obsessed with art, we believe he's painting with it.
David Rossi: He has a quick kill pace. More blood means more paint. The more paintings he does, the greater the chance someone will recognize his work.
Aaron Hotchner: We think that because of his need for acceptance, he may be trying to sell the paintings, so focus your canvassing on places that might sell this kind of fringe art.

"Criminal Minds: What Happens at Home... (#6.10)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "Children begin by loving their parents. As they grow older, they judge them. Sometimes they forgive them." ~~ Oscar Wilde

David Rossi: This won't be easy, Ashley. It may trigger some extremely painful memories.
Ashley Seaver: I appreciate the concern, but when your father kills 25 women before you're a teenager, painful memories don't need a trigger. They just are.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Has anyone vetted them?
David Rossi: Garcia's doing a separate check on police and security staff.
Ashley Seaver: Why?
David Rossi: Law enforcement and security are the kind of jobs that would attract this UnSub.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Dennis Rader, BTK, was a compliance officer in Park City, Kansas. Kenneth Bianchi, one of the Hillside Stranglers, worked as a security guard in California and Washington.
David Rossi: Psychopaths love official jobs and uniforms.

Heather Jacobs: Daddy? Daddy, please.
Ashley Seaver: I know how tired you are. I know how exhausting your life is. I watched him live it. I watched him fight it, and I saw how desperately he wanted to be different.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [team arrives at Jacobs' house] Prentiss and Morgan, take the back. Make noise. Let him know he's caught. It may be the only chance she's got.
Ashley Seaver: ...I watched him try so hard to be a good father. But in the end, he just couldn't stop the other thing.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [comes into house] FBI!
David Rossi: FBI!
Heather Jacobs: Daddy, please, let's just leave!
Drew Jacobs: Go downstairs, Heather.
Heather Jacobs: Please, Daddy.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: FBI!
Ashley Seaver: My father once told me the best day of his life was the day he got arrested, because he could finally stop.
Drew Jacobs: Do you hate him?
[Seaver gives her head a subtle shake]
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Drop the knife.
Heather Jacobs: Daddy!
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Drop the knife!
Heather Jacobs: Daddy!
Drew Jacobs: I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry.
[walks toward Hotch]

David Rossi: What else is on your mind?
Ashley Seaver: A dog... When I was seven years old, I found a puppy on my way home from school. I ran all the way home with this little ball of fur. I was so excited. And when I got to the house, my dad was the only one home. And I gave him the puppy to hold while I got him some milk. We didn't have dog food, but I thought, well, a puppy's like a baby, so milk, right? And when I got back, my dad was in the bathroom, and he turned and told me to put the milk away. I didn't understand. And he told me we didn't need the hassle of another mouth to feed, and I was never to do that again... And he tilted his head, and I started crying and I could swear he looked like he was having fun.
David Rossi: He's a psychopath. Cruelty to animals is part of that.
Ashley Seaver: I know. But what I don't understand... Mr. Jacobs asked me a question about my father, and... I don't hate him. I don't. I try, but I just don't.
David Rossi: No matter what else he is, he's your father. Now, you're not responsible for the things he did. But you can't change the fact that to you... he's still your dad.
Ashley Seaver: I just feel like he's winning if I don't hate him.
David Rossi: No, kiddo. There's no winning. There's just living. Moving forward. And if you keep doing that, you'll be all right.
Ashley Seaver: Is that true?
David Rossi: It is for me.
Ashley Seaver: Thank you.
[Rossi holds her hand]

"Criminal Minds: A Higher Power (#3.15)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Hotch would never have taken this case. And I say "case" in the loosest sense.
David Rossi: Profile the facts as they are without bias. Isn't that what we do?
Derek Morgan: What facts, Rossi? Look at us. We don't have a single file.
David Rossi: Okay, let me help you out. Jump right in anytime. Fact one - there are no files, so it seems no case.
Emily Prentiss: But what if there is?
Dr. Spencer Reid: One fire, fourteen deaths, five suicides.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: All the suicides are connected to the original fire.
Emily Prentiss: And all exactly two weeks apart.
David Rossi: Come on, Derek, you can't tell me that doesn't feel a lot like a pattern.
Emily Prentiss: And a timeline.
David Rossi: Right?
Derek Morgan: A lot of people lost their kids in that fire. That's a whole world of grief, and for a few... suicide's their only way out.
David Rossi: Or someone decided it was.
Derek Morgan: And made it look this way?
David Rossi: What if they have?
Derek Morgan: Then we're looking for one very smart unsub.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "There is no refuge from confession but suicide, and suicide is confession." - Daniel Webster.

Aaron Hotchner: I need a favor.
David Rossi: Of course.
Aaron Hotchner: I need some personal time, no more than a day.
David Rossi: Take all the time you need.
Aaron Hotchner: [about his divorce from Haley] I need to talk to Jack. I've lost her, but I'm not gonna lose him. I need to try to... tell him what's going on. I don't know how much he's going to understand, but...
David Rossi: All he needs to understand is that you love him.

David Rossi: How'd it go with Jack?
Aaron Hotchner: I just told him that I wasn't going to be around as much.
David Rossi: How'd he take it?
Aaron Hotchner: He gave me a hug, and he said that everything was gonna be all right.
David Rossi: Smart kid. Like his dad.

Emily Prentiss: We'd also like to take a look at your brother's house
Det. Ronnie Baleman: I'll take you there
David Rossi: I think it is better if you stay here
Det. Ronnie Baleman: It's my case, I... I brought you here
Derek Morgan: Technically there is no case and if there was you wouldn't be on it

"Criminal Minds: The Sandman (#11.17)" (2016)
Aaron Hotchner: Ronnie Brewer is still missing. Both parents' eyes were filled with sand and glued shut.
David Rossi: Mr. Sandman, bring me a nightmare.

David Rossi: No tread marks anywhere. The unsub probably parked his car along the main road and walked in.
Jennifer Jareau: Family have dogs?
David Rossi: No. No security system, either.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, there's nothing around back. The garage and the storage were unlocked.
David Rossi: And I bet the Brewers probably never locked their front door.
Jennifer Jareau: You know, it's not so unusual. I grew up in a place like this and that's just how it was. People trusted one another.
David Rossi: Trust is a good thing. So are deadbolts and a rottweiler.

Aaron Hotchner: We're looking for a family annihilator. We believe he's a white male in his early to mid thirties. He is intelligent, well-organized, and meticulous.
David Rossi: Family annihilators are often quick and ruthless, but this unsub prolongs the suffering of his victims.
Dr. Tara Lewis: He appears to kill in stages. First the father, then the mother, and finally the child.
Derek Morgan: The mother seems to be the primary target of the unsub's rage. She is forced to endure a sense of helplessness for up to an hour while her child is in danger.
Sgt. Natalie Whitfield: So we're dealing with a sadist?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes, but not sadism as we typically think of it. Despite the savagery of the attacks, the killer does not derive gratification from inflicting pain; it's from observing the panic in his victims. The sadism is psychological.
Derek Morgan: Something may have happened in the unsub's childhood where he felt unprotected. Perhaps his own mother turned a blind eye to a real or perceived danger.
Aaron Hotchner: And this could explain the ritual of placing sand and glue in the parents' eyes, symbolically blinding them as punishment.
Dr. Tara Lewis: Ellie Zumwalt survived her injuries, and this may discourage this unsub and make him more cautious.
David Rossi: Or have the opposite effect. It could infuriate him and spur him to attack again soon with increased violence.

Derek Morgan: [Rushing out of his office] Hey, hey, hey, there you are! How you're settling in?
Derek Morgan: Well, you know, it's like riding a bike
David Rossi: Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask, uh, I've got an opening in my poker group next week. Why don't you join us?
Derek Morgan: Oh, my dance card's kind of full these days, Rossi, you know, getting ready for a baby
David Rossi: Well, that's all the more reason to play, you know, jump start the kid's college fund a little money
Derek Morgan: Okay. Okay, I will see what I can do. I left a file in the conference room
David Rossi: I... I was just in there. I didn't see any files
Derek Morgan: You're sure about that?
David Rossi: Positive! No files! I... I would have noticed
Derek Morgan: All right, your eyes start to do that little thing they do. Let's have it
David Rossi: Have what?
Derek Morgan: It's not my birthday and I said to you: please no welcome back party
David Rossi: All right, look, I'm not saying, but, ehm, I was supposed to distract you, so do me a favor and act surprised when you go in there, all right?
Derek Morgan: All right, I got you covered
[starts walking in, Rossi blocks him]
David Rossi: And let's just keep it an extra 30 seconds, just to be sure
Derek Morgan: [laughs] No problem
David Rossi: So, my eyes do this thing, huh?
Derek Morgan: Little bit
David Rossi: I better work on that before poker night

Derek Morgan: [On the phone] What you got, baby girl?
Penelope Garcia: What I've got is fail, fail, and more fail
David Rossi: Remember Thomas Alva Edison, Penelope: "I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
Penelope Garcia: Okay, let me rephrase what I just said: I currently waist-deep in what's not working

"Criminal Minds: Self Fulfilling Prophecy (#7.9)" (2011)
David Rossi: Leaves of three, let them be.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, man, poison ivy. Alcohol swabs, stat.
Emily Prentiss: Oh, thank you. You know, if I've got it, so do you.
David Rossi: I'm Italian; it knows better.

David Rossi: Aggressive motto: Vivere est vincere. To live is to conquer.

Lieutenant Tawes: Looks like Josh has doubled back a few times. But the dogs can't find him.
David Rossi: Is he familiar with these woods?
Lieutenant Tawes: All first years come here for a mission. Josh tried to run away back then but didn't get far. None of them do.
Emily Prentiss: But after three more years of training...
Lieutenant Tawes: He didn't weigh himself down with supplies. Smart. We taught him well.

Emily Prentiss: What was his relationship with Tucker Calhoun?
Carter Campbell: Josh is straight up. This place never broke him. No matter how hard they tried.
Emily Prentiss: Who tried to break him? Tucker?
Carter Campbell: [pause] A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.
David Rossi: You've got an honor code. My guess is not everyone lives by it.

Aaron Hotchner: Dave, did you find anything in the woods?
David Rossi: Josh's tent was secluded, his things were left behind. He just took off.
Aaron Hotchner: Massey said he never got any respect from Josh.
Jennifer Jareau: Josh's own parents said he was impossible to control.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His course load indicates increased isolation.
Emily Prentiss: Isolated, smart, angry. That could be a budding psychopath.
Erin Strauss: What are you saying? Josh Redding killed his classmates? And he's not missing, he's on the run.
Derek Morgan: And he has been for a week.
David Rossi: One hell of a head start.
Emily Prentiss: With all the skills he could ever need.

"Criminal Minds: Cold Comfort (#4.14)" (2009)
David Rossi: A necrophiliac has no use for a live victim.

David Rossi: To those who believe, no proof is necessary. To those who don't, no proof is enough Stuart Chase.

[their victim's mother is making a public appeal to her daughter's kidnapper]
David Rossi: Wish she would have waited until we had a chance to coach her.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I don't know, she seems to be doing a pretty good job.
Derek Morgan: Good enough to make the unsub think twice about killing Brooke.
David Rossi: If he hasn't already. Chances are this is all too late.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's her daughter. She has to have hope, right?
David Rossi: Hope's one thing. False hope is something else.
Derek Morgan: I guess you've worked with psychics before?
David Rossi: Yeah. Not by choice.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You know, there are cases where people believe they've helped.
David Rossi: When people are vulnerable, they'll believe a lot of things.

David Rossi: You're in early.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Couldn't sleep.
David Rossi: I know how it can be coming back here. The bad things seem worse. You want easy answers.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: If you're gonna tell me not to believe in psychics, you don't have to.
David Rossi: You can believe in what you want. But when you're here, you need to have faith in what we do. It works.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I just... I saw a mother losing her child, and, uh... we didn't have any other leads. I thought what harm could it do?
David Rossi: I asked the same question once.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You did?
David Rossi: It was a kidnapping case in Georgia. We had nothing, time was running out, and there was a local woman known for her... abilities. On her advice, we took the investigation in the wrong direction. The boy died.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I'm sorry.
David Rossi: It was a long time ago.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, we won this time. That's what matters, right?
David Rossi: [Rossi half-smiles] Welcome back.

David Rossi: [Walking onto a huge estate] Did Garcia say what Mr. Gless does for a living?
Aaron Hotchner: Failed artist
David Rossi: Guess that's what they call failing up
Aaron Hotchner: Or marrying well

"Criminal Minds: 52 Pickup (#4.9)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think I'm just going to stay home tonight and man the tipline. Clubs aren't really my thing.
Derek Morgan: Not a chance kid, I need a wingman. Come on.
David Rossi: Actually, there is another angle we need to pursue.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We still don't know what made the unsub change his victimology. What made him stop killing prostitutes and move into the clubs.
David Rossi: The answer might be something in Viper's class. But to figure that out we need to profile the teacher.
Derek Morgan: You need to bait him, then, with somebody he sees as a challenge.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to study his style up close and personal. It's gonna take someone he's already attracted to.
Emily Prentiss: Aww. Aww, this is really gonna suck.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] P.J. O'Rourke wrote "Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

David Rossi: Hotch, this is Melissa Foster. She recognized the sketch.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I'm SSA Hotchner. Thank you for coming in. You sure you've seen this man?
Melissa Foster: Yeah. I gave him the scar.

David Rossi: [to Hotch who's staring at a map] Is this the one that if you stare at it long enough you'll see an image of a swan?

"Criminal Minds: Gabby (#9.16)" (2014)
Penelope Garcia: There were no calls, but Ian's cell pinged off of three cell phone towers outside of town on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I sent you the locations
Dr. Spencer Reid: Cell tower range and directionality can be dramatically influenced by atmospheric, electromagnetic and traffic capacity variations
David Rossi: Meaning?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A cell phone can travel to the same location but ping off of different towers on different days, due to independent outside variables.

David Rossi: Talk about taking one for the team.
Agent Tia Canning: What was that all about?
Aaron Hotchner: If she's a predisposed female offender, a major indicator is uncontrolled rage when challenged. I'd say she passed the test.

David Rossi: [to Michael Feehan laying on the couch] Please, give me a reason.
Michelle Fader: What the hell's going on?
Aaron Hotchner: Michelle Fader, you're under arrest for staging a child abduction.
Michelle Fader: I didn't do nothing. Look, I was trying to help that girl.
Aaron Hotchner: You have the right to remain silent.
Michelle Fader: I am only trying to help that girl. She wanted a fresh start.
Aaron Hotchner: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Michelle Fader: She couldn't take care of her own babies anymore.
Aaron Hotchner: You have a right to an attorney...
Michelle Fader: I am trying to help that girl!
Aaron Hotchner: You have a right to an attorney.
Michelle Fader: What's gonna happen to my babies?

Derek Morgan: JJ, you okay?
Jennifer Jareau: They don't have any place safe to be.
Alex Blake: It's not ideal, but they'll be in foster care until they find a family.
David Rossi: Yeah, but how many more kids like that are out there?
Aaron Hotchner: That's a good question.

"Criminal Minds: The Inspired (#9.2)" (2013)
David Rossi: Pretty impressive. A case that could have ended with egg on our face turns out to be one of those "Did you hear about this?" stories on the Internet. Apparently, the BAU is trending on Twitter. Whatever that means.

Alex Blake: Identical twins! What are the odds?
David Rossi: About 3.5 per thousand
[Alex gazes at David]
David Rossi: Well, I asked the Reid the same question.

Carla Hines: Wallace was out of control. He forced us to come here. He was gonna shoot us both. Thank God, Jesse was stronger than he was.
Wallace Hines: [pretends to be Jesse Gentry] I'll only talk to my lawyer.
Aaron Hotchner: Take them both into custody.
Alex Blake: Show me your hands.
David Rossi: We'll fingerprint him at the station, see who matches who.
Aaron Hotchner: Fingerprint analysis isn't an exact science. A good defense lawyer can poke holes in it.
David Rossi: Juries expect DNA, and DNA isn't gonna make the case here.
Aaron Hotchner: No, but behavior might. Sergeant, I need you to do something.

[last lines]
Aaron Hotchner: I've just heard that the Attorney General is, uh, very pleased.
David Rossi: Now, they seldom call with just good news.
Aaron Hotchner: They were also so happy with the way things turned out, that unfortunately, they've withdrawn my name as a candidate for section chief.
David Rossi: I'll drink to that.
[they clink glasses]
David Rossi: So that means we've got a new boss. Any idea who?
Aaron Hotchner: They didn't say, but they did say that they were thinking outside the box.
David Rossi: Uh oh.
Aaron Hotchner: Exactly.
David Rossi: Well, whatever happens, I'm sure it will be interesting. Always is.

"Criminal Minds: Risky Business (#5.13)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [glancing at the completed star puzzle] There's a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid.
David Rossi: Play poker with him sometime.
Derek Morgan: Try playing chess with him.
Penelope Garcia: Or Go.

Penelope Garcia: Sir, it's not that I'm not glad to be coming with you, because I am. I just don't understand the why.
Aaron Hotchner: One of the aspects of an equivocal death investigation when suicide is a probability is an indirect personality assessment. Our victims are all Internet generation kids. There should be invaluable personal data on their computers to mine for the evaluation.
Derek Morgan: If they committed suicide, evidence of it will probably be in their cyber world.
Penelope Garcia: So I'm gonna snoop through dead kids' computers?
David Rossi: This plane seldom makes pleasure trips.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub responsible for these deaths may be a teenager.
Emily Prentiss: He's a loner. He doesn't participate in team sports or group activities. He's withdrawn, very low self-esteem.
Dr. Spencer Reid: His only form of pure interaction is online. He engages in activity that draws attention to himself yet isolates himself from his peers.
Jennifer Jareau: [presenting the profile to a group of adults] Parents and teachers should watch out for the warning signs: kids with bloodshot eyes, marks on their necks, severe headaches, disorientation.
David Rossi: In real life, he considers himself a loser. In cyberspace, he can pull strings. Makes him feel powerful.
Deputy #1: Does this kid know that other kids are dying because of him?
Derek Morgan: He's choking himself and daring others to do it, so we're most likely looking at reckless homicides here.
Jennifer Jareau: If you see anything that's unusual or suspicious, just call the sheriff's department and we will try to direct you as best we can. All right, thank you.
[the crowd breaks up]
Jennifer Jareau: Well, we told as many parents as we could.
Sheriff Samuels: Do you think it helped?
Jennifer Jareau: Not as much as getting through to the kids will.

Penelope Garcia: Well, that's weird!
Aaron Hotchner: What?
Penelope Garcia: There's nothing here
David Rossi: Nothing useful?
Penelope Garcia: Nothing at all. Look, there's no root directory, there's no operating system, the registry appears to be blank
Emily Prentiss: But why would she have an empty computer set up?
Penelope Garcia: I did not say empty, I said appears to be blank
Aaron Hotchner: Meaning?
Penelope Garcia: That I'm gonna need a little while

"Criminal Minds: The Internet Is Forever (#5.22)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover, closing] The internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had. - Eric Schmidt

David Rossi: We didn't catch you by mistake, did we, Austin?
Austin Chapman: Excuse me?
David Rossi: You said the unsub liked your website, how it was designed. But it was your work. What you can repair, what you can restore for him. You gave him a place to hide the bodies.
Austin Chapman: That's not true. Talk to my wife. I'm home by 6:00 every night...
David Rossi: That's the first thing voyeurs learn: how to cover their tracks. How to stalk between the hours of nine to five. That's why there was no porn on your computer. You had something better.
Austin Chapman: This is a crime! I would never do what you're describing. And even if you don't believe me, my wife knows. My kids, my grandkids. I hate computers. I don't even know how they work.
David Rossi: Well, then let me give you your first lesson. When something goes out on the Internet, it's out there forever. Now, you're going to jail; that's a foregone conclusion. But unless you cooperate with me, I will do everything I can to make sure that the next time your grandkids Google you, they will find out what kind of a monster grandpa really is.

David Rossi: If he puts it on the web, can't you track that back directly to his computer?
Penelope Garcia: Normally, yes. Normally, in like 17 seconds I can get you the network he's using, get the physical address of his modem and presto change, oh no more bad guy, but this unsub is a creepy computer aficionado

Austin Chapman: I hate computers! I don't even know how they work
David Rossi: Well, then let me give you your first lesson. When something goes out on the internet, it's up there forever

"Criminal Minds: Hit (#7.23)" (2012)
Erin Strauss: What is going on here? You didn't profile this as a suicide mission.
David Rossi: 'Cause it wasn't. They'd never kill themselves.
Erin Strauss: What the hell do you call that, then?
David Rossi: They didn't improvise a way out. They've had an exit strategy in place. You don't learn explosives overnight.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Whoa, Rossi!
David Rossi: Why doesn't this surprise me?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Are you here for the convention?
David Rossi: Who schedules a cigar aficionado event back to back with this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I know, right? It's the greatest party ever.
David Rossi: Well, it was gonna be. Unless it involves Gentleman Jack and pre-embargo Cuban cigars. I find that statement to be highly dubious.
Penelope Garcia: Kevin brought another woman. I'm plotting revenge. Do you want to help?
David Rossi: No. Now, you know I love you both, but this is Saturday and it is my day off, so I'd prefer to love you from afar. So, have fun. It's my bedtime.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's 9:00 a.m.
David Rossi: You're judging me?

Derek Morgan: Tactical's been deployed, snipers are moving into position.
Erin Strauss: The director's ordered a full tactical assault.
Derek Morgan: His last orders cost us an agent.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: SWAT's getting itchy fingers.
Aaron Hotchner: Well, you remind SWAT that bank robberies are federal jurisdiction. No one fires until they're ordered to.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Right.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, when the crossfire starts, what's gonna happen to the hostages caught in the middle?
David Rossi: That's the wrong call, Erin, and you know it.
Erin Strauss: It's not my call.
Aaron Hotchner: You're here and you're in charge.
Erin Strauss: So, you want me to disobey the director?
David Rossi: Yes.
Aaron Hotchner: No. I just want you to buy us a little time. Don't be quite so efficient.
Erin Strauss: Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast.
Aaron Hotchner: All right.

David Rossi: These guys were too good to get caught, so why did they?
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: 911 received a call alerting them to a robbery in progress
Penelope Garcia: Actually it was a text. DC added 911 messaging after the Virginia Tech students texts went unanswered during the massacre

"Criminal Minds: Broken (#8.15)" (2013)
Detective Edward Sanchez: Gentlemen. Detective Sanchez.
Derek Morgan: Agent Morgan, agent Rossi.
Detective Edward Sanchez: Appreciate the help. Never seen anything like this before.
David Rossi: Consider yourself fortunate.

Penelope Garcia: Let's see. June 22, 1992, Supreme Court ruled Minnesota hate crime laws violated free speech. The defendant burned a cross on the front yard of an African-American family's house who lived next door.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Nothing in the UnSub's profile suggests racial motivation, though.
David Rossi: No, but the cross has me thinking. Many religions suggest that following through on homosexual desires invites condemnation. What if the UnSub is struggling with his faith? Garcia, are there any 6:22 Bible passages that are relevant?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I thought of that, but the most popular one is Matthew 6:22, and it has to do with lights and eyes. I don't see how that fits.
Derek Morgan: All right, let's look at this another way. What are the passages that specifically relate to homosexuality?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's it. He's not saying 6:22. He's saying 18:22. As in Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind, for it is an abomination."
David Rossi: He converted 18:22 to 6:22 p.m., like military time.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe, the UnSub suffered abuse at the hand of someone citing God's will that he should change.
David Rossi: It wouldn't be the first time someone took the good book and twisted it for their own agenda.
Derek Morgan: Okay, but if you wanted to change someone's sexual orientation, how could you do it? I mean, you're not gonna guilt somebody into that.
Penelope Garcia: I'm seeing some stuff about an ex-gay movement. It looks like some kind of a 12-step program.
David Rossi: A 12-step program usually doesn't traumatize the participant.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But conversion therapy might. Several conversion camps have been shut down recently 'cause their methods border on torture.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, but why would any faith condone the torture of children?
David Rossi: None of them would. Even a religion that frowns on homosexuality, none of them would cross that line.
Derek Morgan: Garcia, are there conversion camps in the area?
Penelope Garcia: I got a hit. Camp Willing operates just outside of Austin. Their motto is, "It's time to change." And guess which biblical passage is on their home page.

Derek Morgan: What happened to you in that camp, Paul?
Paul Westin: It doesn't matter anymore.
Derek Morgan: Yes, it does. You kill yourself, they get away with it. If you testify, we can shut them down for good.
Paul Westin: What good? I'm an abomination.
David Rossi: No, you're not. If you want to live your life according to a single message, go ahead. But try John 13:34 instead. " A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another."
Derek Morgan: The best way for you to do that is to put that gun down. Paul, you are a victim. And there are others being victimized right now that you can help. Wouldn't Mitchell want you to do everything possible to make sure that nobody else suffered your same fate? Come on. Put it down.

"Criminal Minds: Restoration (#8.18)" (2013)
David Rossi: [opening quotation, voiceover] "I am dead. Only vengeance can restore me." - Terry Goodkind.

Jennifer Jareau: That's new.
David Rossi: What do you see?
Derek Morgan: [phone rings] Hey, what's up? You find anything in the array?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, there's some writing on the dumpster.
Derek Morgan: What's it say?
[looks around]
Derek Morgan: Hold on a second.
Alex Blake: They got something?
Jennifer Jareau: Do you see something? Morgan?
David Rossi: Look up to the sky?
Derek Morgan: [finds the writing also] I gotta go.
Alex Blake: Linguistically, it may mean God judges the victim for his sins...
Derek Morgan: That's not it.
Alex Blake: And taken in context, with the pants pulled...
Derek Morgan: Blake, that's not it. Let's go.

David Rossi: Hey, I thought I'd lend you a hand
Derek Morgan: Ha, Rossi! Brought a little something to drink. I like that!
David Rossi: Well, you can't do renovation without a little bevvy
Derek Morgan: Ah, wait a minute now, you know I don't renovate, but restore, there's a big difference

Derek Morgan: Carl Buford was an expert at spotting and exploiting vulnerabilities in adolescent boys that he coached at the community center. He had the entire community thinking he was a hero. Parents, teachers, cops. I mean everyone. After my dad died, he locked onto me. And he manipulated me into compliant victimization. Now, you remember how I told you that I got into with that local gangbanger when I was younger? Well, somehow Buford got it all expunged. Now, I didn't understand why a guy who barely knew me would do that. But Buford gave me his time. He taught me how to play football. And then he took me to his cabin on the lake. I was a kid. I was a kid from the south side, I'd never been to a cabin before, much less a lake.
Aaron Hotchner: Morgan... you don't have to do this.
Derek Morgan: They need to know, Hotch. They need to know this guy's M.O. Buford built up my trust, and then he would lower my inhibition with Helgison wine; he called it his Jesus juice. And he would molest me. And every time he would see that dead look in my eye that said I wanted him to stop, he would just say "You better man up, boy. Look up to the sky."
Jennifer Jareau: Did you ever tell anyone about that phrase?
Derek Morgan: No.
David Rossi: We're probably looking at someone Buford abused.
Aaron Hotchner: Victim could harbor a great deal of anger if he didn't deal with his own abuse, and with the right trigger, it could develop into this kind of rage.
Alex Blake: Where's Buford now?
Derek Morgan: We got him locked up for homicide in 2006, but because of the statute of limitations, we never got him for molestation.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Buford ran the community center for years. An offender like him could have hundreds of victims.

"Criminal Minds: The Night Watch (#11.5)" (2015)
David Rossi: When in doubt, go with the guy with the long prison record.

David Rossi: So Yogi Berra arrives at spring training and the equipment manager says to him: "What size cap do you wear"? And Yogi says: "I don't know, I am not in shape yet"
Dr. Spencer Reid: Aha
[expecting more]
David Rossi: That's it! That's the joke
Dr. Spencer Reid: But, studies have shown the dimensional changes in the human head actually can fluctuate, especially in the third decade of life

Dr. Tara Lewis: Morning, guys! How do I look?
David Rossi: [Confused] You look great?
Dr. Tara Lewis: Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds

David Rossi: How's the diet going? I just wondered if you were trying to regain those 185 pounds?
Dr. Tara Lewis: No, I think, ehm, I wanna keep them off
David Rossi: I'm sorry it didn't work out. But if it's any consolation to you, I've been there, more than once and I'm still standing
Dr. Tara Lewis: Rossi, do you think our basic personalities can ever change?
David Rossi: No! Maybe a degree here or there, but I think we come out of the oven fully cooked
Dr. Tara Lewis: It worried me sometimes
David Rossi: Why?
Dr. Tara Lewis: I tend to be all in, you know? Damn the consequences
David Rossi: That's why you're good at your job! Embrace it

"Criminal Minds: The Witness (#11.2)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] The world Is so unpredictable things happen suddenly, unexpectedly we want to feel we're in control of our own existence. In some ways we're not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence. - Paul Auster

David Rossi: He is lying about something; I just can't put my finger on it
Dr. Tara Lewis: Not much we can do about that, though
David Rossi: Oh! You'll be surprised
[and calls Garcia]

David Rossi: You were having an affair, weren't you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: You'll be surprised what someone with a broken heart will do

David Rossi: Talk to me, Penelope
Penelope Garcia: You were right, handsome Italian man

"Criminal Minds: A Place at the Table (#10.20)" (2015)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "When one has not had a good father, one must create one"- Friedrich Nietzche

Derek Morgan: His name is Ezra Warren, he's 23 years old, works as a waiter in DC. He's got a clean record
David Rossi: So, except for being covered in blood at the scene of a mass murder, just your average Joe.

Jennifer Jareau: So Dillon told the police that he'd been hiking through the Great Smokey Mountains for the past week
David Rossi: Right! And Elvis is alive and well and cutting a new album in my basement

Cora Gilliam: The gun is registered to me. I am allowed to carry it!
David Rossi: Carrying it's not the problem, pointing it at FBI agents is the problem!

"Criminal Minds: A Thin Line (#7.15)" (2012)
Clark Preston: I'm innocent!
Aaron Hotchner: Clark Preston, you have the right to remain silent.
David Rossi: Yeah, please feel free to exercise that right.

Penelope Garcia: I got some dirt on your mayoral candidate, Clark Preston.
David Rossi: He's a politician. That shouldn't be hard.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe we're looking for a white male in his late 20s to early 30s.
Deputy: Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, I thought we were looking at black gangbangers.
Derek Morgan: The unsub has been staging the crime scenes to make it look like black gangs and undocumented immigrants were responsible.
Deputy: Why would anyone do that?
Jennifer Jareau: We think he's trying to create some sort of racial conflict.
Dr. Spencer Reid: In 1969, Charles Manson orchestrated the Tate-LaBianca murders, in the hopes of creating a race war between the blacks and whites that he referred to as "Helter Skelter".
David Rossi: A name he stole from a Beatles song.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Members of the Manson family left watermelon rinds at the scene of the crime and also painted panther paws on the wall in blood in the hopes of convincing authorities that the Black Panther Party was responsible.
Aaron Hotchner: Hate groups like the Aryan Nation believe that race war is not only inevitable, but necessary.
Emily Prentiss: Our unsub may be a member of one of these groups. Aryan gangs have a strong presence in prison, so he may be an ex-con, or even possibly related to a convict.
David Rossi: We think he may also be some kind of zealot. He believes his war is already being fought, and these murders are a mission to him.
Jennifer Jareau: And like a solider, he is willing to put himself in harm's way.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The unsub may also be vulnerable somehow. Weak-minded or even lonely. His cause gives him a sense of power and belonging.
Derek Morgan: He's physically fit enough to move dead bodies, so he's probably young.
David Rossi: But not so young as to be impulsive. These attacks took planning and focus, so he's disciplined.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He uses Oxycodone to drug his unwilling partners. But he does so without killing them, which means he's knowledgeable about dosages.
Emily Prentiss: And Oxy is expensive, so look at medical care professionals and caregivers, anyone with access to to prescription drugs.
Aaron Hotchner: This unsub is dedicated and driven. Makes him especially dangerous. Surrender's not likely part of his strategy.

Penelope Garcia: San Bernadino, California. Two home invasions in less than a week, only a block apart. Exact same M.O. Both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut, and they broke in through a back window.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And in each case, the entire family was shot and killed?
Penelope Garcia: Yes, that is right. I present to you the Mitchells and the Lewis families.
David Rossi: They took out the power and phones to isolate them. Their alarm systems wouldn't work and they can't call for help.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most modern alarm systems have a backup generator and a cell phone connection to the security company.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, but the Mitchells had an older system, and the Lewises were behind on their account, so it was inactive.
Jennifer Jareau: An assailant was killed in each case?
Penelope Garcia: Affirmative, but the sheriff hasn't IDed them yet.
Emily Prentiss: So both families were armed and fought back and shot one of their attackers.
Derek Morgan: Is that a coincidence or a connection?
Aaron Hotchner: What concerns me is the frequency of the kills.
Jennifer Jareau: Only four days apart.
Aaron Hotchner: All right. It's a long flight. We'd better get going. Wheels up in thirty.

"Criminal Minds: Amplification (#4.24)" (2009)
David Rossi: [about the Army CID investigators] I've never seen so many alpha males in one room.

Jennifer Jareau: Last night, twenty-five people checked into emergency rooms in and around Annapolis. They were all at the same park after 2 p.m. yesterday. Within ten hours, the first victim died. It's now just past 7 a.m. the next day. We have twelve dead.
Derek Morgan: Lung failure and black lesions. Anthrax?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Anthrax doesn't kill this fast.
Dr. Linda Kimura: This strain does.
Emily Prentiss: What are we doing about potential mass targets - airports, malls, trains?
Aaron Hotchner: There's a media blackout.
Emily Prentiss: We're not telling the public?
Derek Morgan: We'd have a mass exodus.
David Rossi: The psychology of group panic would cause more deaths than this last attack.

Aaron Hotchner: Here's Cipro. Everybody needs to take it before we go
Dr. Linda Kimura: We don't know if it is effective against this strain, but it's something
Emily Prentiss: This is really happening
Aaron Hotchner: We knew this could happen, we've done our homework, we've prepared for this. This is it
David Rossi: Cent'anni! May you live a 100 years!

Emily Prentiss: Am I naive to wish that lying is never the right thing to do?
David Rossi: With this job...
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, sometimes our job sucks
David Rossi: Yeah
Emily Prentiss: And yet, next time I'll probably won't hesitate to lie again
David Rossi: We got a lot of things to take with us to the grave

"Criminal Minds: Bloodline (#4.13)" (2009)
David Rossi: Garcia we believe that they are gypsies.
Penelope Garcia: Gypsies? As in "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves?"
David Rossi: Yes.
Penelope Garcia: Oh bless you all for turning my life into a Cher song!

David Rossi: Jorden was right, you know, on the plane
Derek Morgan: What you're talking about?
David Rossi: We hide behind language. We don't talk about the ugliness we see
Derek Morgan: Rossi, we talk about it every day
David Rossi: No, we talk facts, signature, MO, pathology
Derek Morgan: What you're getting at?
David Rossi: We're working a case were a family is grooming their son to kill. They're not just murdering people, they're stealing children, poisoning minds. Where's the horror?
Derek Morgan: We can't do this job if we let it get to us
David Rossi: Exactly

David Rossi: You're okay?
Agent Jordan Todd: Yeah, I just need to build a thicker skin
David Rossi: You don't need to anything you don't want to! You understand?

Agent Jordan Todd: And also I... I just spoke with JJ. She'll be at her desk by the time we get back to Quantico
Aaron Hotchner: She has 3 more weeks of maternity leave
Agent Jordan Todd: I know, but she's dying to be back. And honestly, I'm ready to get back to counter terrorism, it's where I'm needed
David Rossi: They're lucky to have you
[Shakes Jordan's hand and leaves the room]
Agent Jordan Todd: May I say something?
Aaron Hotchner: Sure
Agent Jordan Todd: This team is like a family and families take on the traits of their leaders. You don't show much emotion
Aaron Hotchner: Meaning what?
Agent Jordan Todd: I've sat at JJ's desk and I have looked at some of the worst things I've ever seen, just trying to do half her job. I hope you don't take her for granted
Aaron Hotchner: I don't

"Criminal Minds: The Fight (#5.18)" (2010)
David Rossi: I actually think San Quentin was nicer.
Jonathan Simms: Yeah, trust me, it's not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What do you mean?

David Rossi: I've known Sam Cooper for twenty years, and I've never seen him defy an order. If he feels this strong about a hunch, we need to help him however we can.

David Rossi: [at the Red Cell's makeshift base of operations] I actually think San Quentin was nicer.
Jonathan Simms: Yeah, trust me. It's not.
Dr. Spencer Reid: [unaware Prophet is an ex-con] What do you mean?

David Rossi: [Visiting San Quentin prison] This is one for the books, huh?
Jonathan Simms: Yeah. Spend much time here?
David Rossi: Maybe half a dozen interviews. You?
Jonathan Simms: 6 years, 3 months, 4 days

"Criminal Minds: Identity (#3.7)" (2007)
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [on the phone] Hi this is Agent Jareau with the F.B.I. and -
[puts phone down]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That's the third time I've been hung up on.
David Rossi: Try not saying F.B.I.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Who was that?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Contact for a local militia newsletter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, drop the F.B.I. part.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "An earthly kingdom cannot exist without inequality of persons. Some must be free, some serfs, some rulers, some subjects." - Martin Luther.

[last lines]
Derek Morgan: So, what starts you to think about coming back?
David Rossi: Unfinished business.
Derek Morgan: There's one thing you'll learn about me, Rossi. I'm relentless. I'll find out.

David Rossi: There are some very committed people in those parts
Aaron Hotchner: Who love their fire power
David Rossi: Almost as much as they hate us

"Criminal Minds: True Genius (#7.11)" (2012)
David Rossi: Bottom line, the Zodiac is the most well-documented unsolved serial killing case in modern times.

Aaron Hotchner: There have been two known copycats.
Penelope Garcia: Correct. The first one was Heriberto Seda. He killed three and wounded four in New York City. And then, there was a 14-year-old in Japan named Seito Sakakibara. He killed two other children and left the sign of the Zodiac behind.
David Rossi: The fact is the Zodiac was driven by a need for notoriety and control.
Aaron Hotchner: He enjoyed the terror he spread through the city.

[last lines]
Emily Prentiss: Hey, Reid. Hotch wants to talk to you. What's wrong?
Dr. Spencer Reid: He probably wants to talk to me about why I've been kind of weird lately.
Emily Prentiss: You are making a difference, you know, one person at a time.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you. You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about why I stayed after Gideon left, why I didn't take any of those other offers.
Emily Prentiss: Nothing is accidental.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And I realized, I don't know, there's just something incredibly right about being here, with you guys.
Emily Prentiss: Well, I'm glad to hear that. Otherwise this would have been really awkward.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What would have been really awkward?
Penelope Garcia: Surprise!
Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan: Surprise! Happy birthday!
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Happy birthday!
Penelope Garcia: Happy birthday!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank you.
Aaron Hotchner: Do you feel like 30?
Derek Morgan: Happy birthday, old man. Happy birthday. Almost 40 now.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm getting close.

Penelope Garcia: Wait for it
[and shows picture of the crime scene]
Derek Morgan: The Zodiac?
David Rossi: No way
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Come on, it's got to be the 2.0 version

"Criminal Minds: The Return (#9.8)" (2013)
David Rossi: How did Gavin know that there would be a cop in the diner at that exact moment?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Chicago has over 13,000 police officers, that is roughly 60 per square mile, and there are two precincts in a 4 block radios of the diner. My guess is just a matter of time before a cop would walk in

Dr. Spencer Reid: There's something known as the magical age, between nine and 12, when a child's psyche is more malleable. That could be why the UnSub changed his victimology. Like the child soldiers being recruited by the rebels in Sudan, they lack the physical and emotional maturity to resist their captors.
David Rossi: He realized that the younger that he went, the easier they would be to control.

Alex Blake: I know that look. The wheels are turning.
David Rossi: I've seen this before. Muzzle flash burns. We'd occasionally see this on POWs in Vietnam.
Alex Blake: So someone held a gun to his head and repeatedly fired blanks.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's incredibly risky, especially considering the margin of error when holding the barrel of a gun to someone's temporal bone. The discharge alone can cause a skull to shatter.
David Rossi: Which means not only did this person want to put the fear of god into Gavin, but he knew exactly how to do it without killing him.
Alex Blake: This poor kid was tortured.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Or trained. What if whoever did this wanted to make sure if he got caught, he'd never talk?

Aaron Hotchner: It's possible we're dealing with a terrorist organization with one man at the center. We're basing our profile on his motivation.
Derek Morgan: We believe these children were abducted by a preferential offender who targets pre-pubescent boys.
Alex Blake: Our unsub is likely a male in his forties, with some military or law enforcement training.
Jennifer Jareau: We think he has a secluded location that provides enough privacy to hold his victims captive for several years.
David Rossi: In that time, he breaks these kids down, rebuilds them to be hardened soldiers.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We believe they're suffering from an extreme case of Stockholm syndrome. Much like Patty Hearst, who came to view the SLA as her new family and the rest of the world as adversaries, we believe he's attempting to instill this same feeling within his army.
Derek Morgan: He likely uses military torture techniques to get his victims to see his enemies as their own.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He puts them through a rigorous and punishing military training regimen in order to prepare them mentally and physically for his war.
Derek Morgan: And once this happens, the physical threats stop and the reprogramming begins.
Jennifer Jareau: And now that he has their trust, he maintains this connection by bolstering them with love and affection.
David Rossi: His connection to them is important. It ensures once they're released, they will not deviate from their orders.
Alex Blake: His ultimate target has yet to be determined, but it could be as broad as American citizens.
Dr. Spencer Reid: These attacks have been well orchestrated, methodical, and extremely violent in order to maximize destruction and panic.
Aaron Hotchner: Which is why we need to get ahead of him in order to prevent more bloodshed. But in order to do that, we need to identify the source of his rage.

"Criminal Minds: Pay It Forward (#8.19)" (2013)
David Rossi: [opening, voiceover] "A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen." - Edward De Bono

Wanda Sullivan: Is the FBI gonna be at the town meeting tonight?
Sam: Yes, ma'am.
Wanda Sullivan: Do you think it's smart? People hear the FBI is in town, they're gonna get scared.
David Rossi: No offense, but I think it's the head without the body and the body without the head that has people scared.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We'll just be there to answer questions, hopefully give some reassurance.
Wanda Sullivan: I think it's a mistake.
[leaves the room]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Bye.
David Rossi: Was it my cologne?
Sam: Don't take it personal. We used to call her Cyclone Sullivan.

David Rossi: And so the guessing game begins! From what nook or cranny will our new missing head roll out?

David Rossi: Well, you know what they say: progress was a wonderful thing, just went on too long

"Criminal Minds: Future Perfect (#11.10)" (2015)
Penelope Garcia: [playing poker] I'm in
David Rossi: Well, I think you're bluffing, so I will see your fuzzy pencil and raise you... from the Dominican Republic one Fuente Fuente Opus X
Penelope Garcia: I don't understand what we're betting. I don't smoke
David Rossi: 'Cause poker is not fun unless you have something on the line

Dr. Tara Lewis: And a triangle was cut from his calf muscle
David Rossi: Dear Diary, just when I thought I heard it all!

Aaron Hotchner: Garcia is tracking recent aquarium and exotic fish sales in the area
David Rossi: Aquarium sales in Florida? That's like tracking snow shovel sales in Alaska

Dr. Tara Lewis: What's up, Rossi?
David Rossi: They identified the bird DNA in Henning as coming from a scarlet macaw
Jennifer Jareau: Hm, hm, and?
David Rossi: That got me thinking about turritopsis dohrnii
Dr. Tara Lewis: Turri... what?
David Rossi: Eh, it's called the immortal jellyfish. Uhm,
[starts reading from his notes]
David Rossi: endlessly recycles its own cells for a process called trans-differentiation, a kind of lineage reprogramming
Jennifer Jareau: Oh my goodness! Dr. Spencer Reid, master of disguise!
David Rossi: No disguise, I called the kid last night

"Criminal Minds: Snake Eyes (#7.13)" (2012)
David Rossi: [voiceover] George Augustus Sala once said, "A gambler with a system, must be to a greater or lesser extent, insane"

Derek Morgan: It doesn't take much to ignite a Mob war.
David Rossi: And collateral damage means nothing to these guys. If we don't get a handle on this soon, innocent people are gonna die.

David Rossi: I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em.
Emily Prentiss: Hey, what about you?
David Rossi: What about me what?
Emily Prentiss: You could stake us the buy-in.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, you're a best-selling author.
David Rossi: No!
Emily Prentiss: Why not?
David Rossi: One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's a minor administrative violation.
David Rossi: And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt Scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork.
Emily Prentiss: Poker chips are things.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe just think of it as, like, a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen?
David Rossi: At my *what*?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy.
David Rossi: All right, fine. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to...
Emily Prentiss: You know what? I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card-counting ability.
David Rossi: Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If "P" represents the size of the pot at the time of play, than P x N - 1, with "N" representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting...
David Rossi: Okay, fine. I surrender. Just try not to lose all of my money?

Emily Prentiss: What about you, Rossi? What's your favorite mob movie?
David Rossi: I've seen too much of it in my life.

"Criminal Minds: Lauren (#6.18)" (2011)
Derek Morgan: She threw a flash bang grenade into a car, she's lucky the three people inside didn't die. Is anybody else bothered by that?
David Rossi: Well, three bad guys.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: Illegal as it is, I think Prentiss knows she has to be as ruthless as Doyle.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's come to the US to wage a public vendetta and hired a group of mercenaries to remain loyal to him. He has nothing to lose, so she has to act the same way.

Dr. Spencer Reid: It's another spy whose cover is LR.
Emily Prentiss: [in Reid's flashback] Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Lauren Reynolds is dead. Prentiss said that on a phone call 17 days ago. But her intonation wasn't surprise or grief. It was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself. Lauren Reynolds, LR.
Derek Morgan: She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: That doesn't make sense. Why run? We're her family. We can help.
David Rossi: Doyle's killing families. She's not married, not close to relatives. He was ready to wipe us out. She ran to protect us.

David Rossi: Why were you calling Clyde Easter so much, Jack?
Jack Fahey: Anybody got a smoke? How about you, beanpole?
David Rossi: What do you think?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Narcissism masking deep-seated insecurity.
David Rossi: So if we puncture his self-image, this hood rat will talk.
Jack Fahey: Hey, hey, hey, I ain't no hood rat. You take that back.
David Rossi: Well, you look like one. You smell like one. You smell that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hood rat.
Jack Fahey: I am not! Take it back!
David Rossi: Hey, Jack. Do you know what a hood rat is? You see what I mean? He's just gonna have to learn the hard way.
Jack Fahey: All right, look, Clyde was gonna pay my medical bills, all right? This ear, it ain't growing back.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What happened to it?
Jack Fahey: This bitch teammate of his shot it. Said it was a warning. Thought she could take on this IRA big shot named Doyle. So I told these... What the hell, man? Jeez!
David Rossi: Where's Prentiss?
Jack Fahey: Who? I don't know!
David Rossi: Lauren Reynolds.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Where's Lauren Reynolds?
Jack Fahey: Friend of yours, is she?
David Rossi: You tell us where she is right now, or I swear, I'll send you to a prison where they'll teach you what a hood rat is.
Jack Fahey: And by the time you do, she'll be in pieces. So... my price just went up.

Jack Fahey: You know when a cigarette is best? After sex with me.
David Rossi: Mind your manners.
Jack Fahey: All right.
David Rossi: You're already extorting us for Prentiss' location.
Ashley Seaver: So, just out of curiosity, what's like working for Doyle?
Jack Fahey: He's not so tough.
Ashley Seaver: Wow. I bet you're his hookup, aren't you? I mean, after all, you're the man.
Jack Fahey: I could show you how much of a man I really am.
[Rossi moves to Jack]
Jack Fahey: All right, all right, all right. Jeez, what's with the sexy cop/bad cop routine? What do you two think...
[Jack gets shot]

"Criminal Minds: The Lesson (#8.10)" (2012)
Dr. Spencer Reid: The Greeks translated "puppets" as "neurospasta," which literally means string-pulling. And throughout time they've been used as a method to tell kings a story so the subjects didn't have to speak directly to him.
David Rossi: It was a way to hear the truth.
Aaron Hotchner: It seems like this UnSub's doing something similar, using his puppets to tell his story.

Dr. Sarah Glenn: I've been getting lame GSW's, a few bus crash victims, but hanging? This is fun. Think this is sexual?
David Rossi: Not in the traditional sense

David Rossi: [Seeing Reid thinking] I can see your wheels turning! Don't hold back

Jennifer Jareau: Well, I think after this long, hard week we just had, we should all head over to Rossi's and pop open some old, expensive wine
David Rossi: That's a plan
Penelope Garcia: Could we maybe play some games, too?
Derek Morgan: Oh, what kind of games?
Penelope Garcia: You tell me, sweet cheeks!
[Derek laughs]

"Criminal Minds: #6 (#8.22)" (2013)
David Rossi: This car becomes an abduction vehicle and a dumping site.
Dr. Spencer Reid: According to missing persons' reports, he holds on to them for all about a week. Do we know what he does with them during that time?
Penelope Garcia: Yes, unfortunately we do, and that information is on your tablets in picture form. And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to my happy place.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Up until now, he's been an equal opportunity, anger retaliatory sadist.
David Rossi: Which is fancy talk for he hates the husbands as much as the wives.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most likely because his own marriage failed in a humiliating way, and his wife left him for a man she may be engaged or even already married to.
Derek Morgan: But a major shift happened with Mary Hammond. He wasn't able to kidnap the husband, but he needed someone to cut her.
Jennifer Jareau: So his MO was forced to evolve. We believe he's abducted the sixth victim, a man, probably someone who reminds him of his own failed marriage.
Alex Blake: And he's keeping number six alive so he can repeat the process with Emma Churchill.
David Rossi: Number six could be a surrogate for the ex-wife's new husband or actually be the new husband.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which is why the fastest way to find this UnSub is through this most recent unknown victim.

David Rossi: So, we know this unsub uses the victims' own cars as his dumpsite
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically, it's not a dumpsite, it's transportation disposal modality

David Rossi: Garcia? I don't get it. Didn't the car companies give you the same GPS data?
Penelope Garcia: [Agitated] Yes, they did. But the meta-data has to be translated into latitude and longitude, which is like looking for a needle in a needle stack in a field of needles!
Alex Blake: Can't you match the dates? We know he breaks into the cars three days beforehand
Penelope Garcia: But that would imply there's a timestamp on each of the numbers, which there's not, thank you very much. And forgive my tone, but I'm frustrated
[computer starts finding matches]
Penelope Garcia: Wait! My mood is changing. We may have a lotto here!

"Criminal Minds: Persuasion (#9.17)" (2014)
David Rossi: *
[stepping into storm drain water]
David Rossi: * Uh, remind me to call my shoemaker. I'm going to need a new pair of boots.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You have a shoemaker?
David Rossi: Well, one thing I've learned in life. A good pair of shoes can last longer than a marriage. You only have to pay for them once.

David Rossi: [closing quote] "Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness within"- Arthur Erickson

David Rossi: What'd you find Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Can someone let the Pope know about me? Because what I do is kind of a miracle!

"Criminal Minds: Perennials (#8.11)" (2012)
David Rossi: [closing, voiceover] "The doctrine of the immortality of the soul has more threat than comfort." - Mason Cooley.

Derek Morgan: Well, let me guess: she doesn't know nothing about nothing
David Rossi: Practically a direct quote! How did you know that?
Derek Morgan: Ah, it's a busy enough street, broad daylight, house is fully exposed. Either this unsub is really, really good or this is the worst neighborhood watch program

[last lines]
Aaron Hotchner: Yesterday while we in were in Florida, a body was found in the desert outside Las Cruces, New Mexico.
David Rossi: A man had his leg amputated and replaced with the leg of someone else.
Aaron Hotchner: And as you know, last month a body was found in Dallas with its mouth sewn shut, like the Silencer.
David Rossi: What looked then to be a possible one-time copycat now has to be examined in a different light.
Derek Morgan: Someone's out there mimicking the crimes we've solved.
David Rossi: That's how it looks.
Aaron Hotchner: This is now an active case, which we'll be investigating along with our other cases.

"Criminal Minds: Green Light (#12.21)" (2017)
Emily Prentiss: The rest of us need to find Lindsay asap
Luke Alvez: I know a marshal that can help cut through WITSEC's red tape
Dr. Tara Lewis: Yeah, I'm friendly with some people at homeland security
David Rossi: I have a buddy at the DOJ, lost a lot of money to him at a poker, he owes me

David Rossi: I can't believe it. Everything Reid said was right

Emily Prentiss: We have to go to the courts
David Rossi: How? It's not like you can just walk up to the judge
Emily Prentiss: Or, I could
David Rossi: Whoa, whoa! Now, is that legal, Emily?
Emily Prentiss: It is. It's just inappropriate and a relative long shot

"Criminal Minds: Outlaw (#11.4)" (2015)
Derek Morgan: With unsubs this violent, how do you just disappear and go dormant for 6 years?
Aaron Hotchner: They may have been in prison. That would explain the criminal experience
David Rossi: Crime U., the best education taxpayer money can buy

Dr. Tara Lewis: I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?
David Rossi: The best way out is always through
Dr. Tara Lewis: Too bad it's not always the easiest one
David Rossi: You're not kidding

David Rossi: How is the coffee around here?
Chief Raul Montoya: It ain't Starbucks
David Rossi: Well, that is not necessarily a bad thing. Me, I'm Italian, I like it strong. How about you?
Chief Raul Montoya: Hot and fresh

"Criminal Minds: All That Remains (#8.14)" (2013)
David Rossi: The odds of this event striking the same family on the same day must be a billion to one.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Close enough.

David Rossi: I've gotta ask you: are two bottles of bourbon a normal Monday night?

Jennifer Jareau: How does a single father lose his teenage daughters for thirty-six hours?
David Rossi: He doesn't.

"Criminal Minds: Parasite (#5.14)" (2010)
David Rossi: [voiceover] If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, who then am I? German psychologist Erich Fromm

David Rossi: Con men usually don't murder, but when they do, it's to conceal their crimes.
Derek Morgan: Con man's a nice name for these guys. They profile as psychopaths.

David Rossi: [Teams walks into a room filled with boxes with files] You're kidding me
Jennifer Jareau: We've to go through all of this?
Aaron Hotchner: White collar cases often come down with a paper trail
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe it won't be so bad, I mean, at least he's well organized
David Rossi: That's his job. He sits at a desk all day and accumulates paper evidence

"Criminal Minds: The Uncanny Valley (#5.12)" (2010)
Aaron Hotchner: The unsub we're looking for is a woman. She's a collector. It's a psychopathology similar to hoarding.
David Rossi: So when we say "collector", we're not talking about stamps or baseball cards. It's not what your kids, or even you, might pursue as a normal hobby.
Aaron Hotchner: This is an attachment to objects that's become obsessive, by someone who is antisocial and extremely introverted.
Emily Prentiss: These people attach a part of themselves to their collection. If you try to separate them from it or take it away from them, they will react violently, even psychotically.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They've suffered damage to their prefrontal cortex. That's the part of the brain that regulates basic Freudian fantasy/reality. They can still function, like drive a car or go to work, even do their taxes.
Derek Morgan: In fact, she excels at goal-oriented jobs, like the precision of sewing, or the details of abduction.
Dr. Spencer Reid: But they've lost their ability to categorize the difference between living and dead, uh, belonging and loss. That has been irreparably destroyed.
Detective Marty Cotrone: So what's she collecting, women?
David Rossi: Actually, we think she's collecting dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically, replacing them. Uh, we believe that she lost the originals sometime within the last three months, and this is what served as her stressor.
David Rossi: She searched for a replacement, and when she couldn't find them, she started abducting the closest possible surrogate.
Emily Prentiss: Women of different ethnicities but a similar physicality.
Derek Morgan: The drug-induced paralysis is part of the fantasy. She puts her victims in a position where they can't talk back so she can fetishize them like the objects she's lost.
Detective Marty Cotrone: Um... look. I respect your analysis, but this woman kidnapped six women and killed three of them. And you're telling us this is about dolls?
Emily Prentiss: This unsub stitched a wig onto the scalp of her latest victim. It's a technique used to attach hair to porcelain dolls.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And keep in mind, collectors and serial killers do share certain traits. Uh... a lot of serial killers take trophies, attaching the same significance to them that this collector does to objects.
David Rossi: But this unsub's intent isn't violence. She needs this collection to be complete so she can feel in control of her life, probably to overcome some trauma she experienced.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She really only feels that control when the collection is complete, which is why she's repeating an abduction pattern with living victims. If she loses a doll, or in this case, if she loses a woman who represents a doll, she has to replace it.
Aaron Hotchner: This woman works alone. We know she has medical training. Look for nurse's aides or orderlies who were fired for a lack of social graces. She can't fake a bedside manner.
Emily Prentiss: We believe she's currently working as a tailor or a seamstress, and we're following those leads now. But do let us know if you notice any overlap in your suspect pools. Thank you.

David Rossi: Pretty public spot for a dump site
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, technically I think it would qualify more as a disposal site. You don't leave a body at a Merry Go Round out of convenience

Aaron Hotchner: So, she has them paralyzed and she can do whatever she wants. Why is she killing them?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, I don't think she mean to. Eh, the brain is a machine, designed to respond to stimuli. You keep the brain awake but the body immobile, it breaks down, loses its hair. After two months it eventually strokes out
David Rossi: So, death isn't this unsub's goal, it's an unfortunately side effect
Dr. Spencer Reid: Exactly

"Criminal Minds: 'Til Death Do Us Part (#11.3)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote "I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

David Rossi: I married the third ex-Mrs. Rossi at a drive-in wedding chapel in Las Vegas. I had an Elvis impersonator perform the ceremony.
Dr. Tara Lewis: [snickering] You're kidding.
Aaron Hotchner: Wait for it.
David Rossi: I'm playing 21. I've got a streak going, I can't lose even if I try. Krystall's the dealer; one thing leads to another... I should have known it wouldn't last. Krystall spelled her name with a "K" and two "L"s. We sobered up the next morning, the divorce was... was just as quick. I'll never make that mistake again.
Derek Morgan: What, getting married or having the King of rock and roll as your justice of the peace?
David Rossi: Both.
[in an Elvis impression]
David Rossi: Thank you very much.

David Rossi: So, Morgan, when are you and Savannah walking down the aisle?
Derek Morgan: Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.
Dr. Spencer Reid: When Derek Morgan says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single women everywhere.

"Criminal Minds: Into the Woods (#6.9)" (2010)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid said he'd need painkillers right away. He left his supply in the mine.
Derek Morgan: Well, there was a lot of money left in that backpack. I don't know how much he's got on him, but those drugs aren't cheap.
David Rossi: But he's got Robert. For some people, that's as good as cash.

Derek Morgan: What'd you find, Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I went back ten years, matching reports of missing children with Daniel and Tyler's victimology, and in my estimation, this UnSub may have taken 12 victims.
David Rossi: How can you attribute all of those to the same offender?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The dates and locations of the abductions create an unmistakable pattern.
Emily Prentiss: Now, if he's been abducting children for ten years, why weren't we called in before now?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The thing is, he walks the entire trail, end to end, and each way takes approximately six months. His sixth victim was taken from Dawsonville, Georgia, in 2006. Then he walked all the way to Manchester, Vermont, and he took a seventh victim in 2007. He wasn't down south again until 2009, when James Clutter's parents woke up from a night of camping, he was gone. They just assumed he wandered off.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: We didn't get called in because nobody knew he existed. The crimes are years apart and across state lines.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The interesting thing is, ten years ago he was a more aggressive hunter, likely on the move hunting and killing all 365 days a year, but two years ago he stopped travelling so far.
Emily Prentiss: He's slowing down.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think something's affected his mobility, or old age, or an injury from years of living on the trail. But the odd thing is, for the past two winters, he's returned to this 30 mile radius. He takes a victim with him in the fall to stay with him until spring somewhere within that area.
David Rossi: These are harsh winters. He needs to find shelter.
Derek Morgan: And it would have to be heavily camouflaged. Even the most experienced hikers haven't seen it.

Derek Morgan: [seeing a kidnapped child being reunited with his parents] How often does *that* happen?
David Rossi: Not often enough.

"Criminal Minds: Foundation (#7.18)" (2012)
Emily Prentiss: What about a few years ago? In 2004, did he give you anything?
Samantha Allen: That's the year he gave me Randy.
Emily Prentiss: Randy?
Samantha Allen: My dog. He was just a puppy then.
Emily Prentiss: Guys, Sam's father gave her gifts, trophies, from each abduction.
David Rossi: That's significant.
Samantha Allen: I didn't know that's what they were.

David Rossi: How are Morgan and JJ doing with the boy?
Aaron Hotchner: He's so traumatized, he can't even speak.

Penelope Garcia: This boy was found two hours ago in the middle of nowhere. Technically, he was found outside of Crawford, Arizona; my point is he has clearly been to super hell and escaped some sort of captivity.
Derek Morgan: Well, how do we know he wasn't just dropped off there?
Penelope Garcia: Well, he has fresh cuts on the bottom of his feet from the local cactus fields, and that's way from any through roads, and his skin is rubbed raw around his ankles from chains.
Derek Morgan: He must have had a chance to escape and he took it.
Emily Prentiss: Or the unsub could have had him in transit.
Penelope Garcia: My god, you guys, look at his eyes.
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, he's jaundice. Probably hasn't seen daylight in a while.
Derek Morgan: Yeah, and there's a lot of scars here.
David Rossi: Those are the ones we can see.

"Criminal Minds: Demonology (#4.17)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Rossi, don't tell me you believe in evil.
David Rossi: Don't tell me you do this job and you don't.
Derek Morgan: I believe there are evil acts, but those are choices - brain chemistry. What do you think, Hotch?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.

David Rossi: You know, James Joyce also said, "There is no heresy or philosophy so abhorrent to the Church as a human being."

David Rossi: Forget "priest." Think "unsub."

"Criminal Minds: The Angel Maker (#4.2)" (2008)
[Dr Reid has found steganographic messages hidden in letters written by a convict in prison but can't read the messages without the key]
David Rossi: What do you need to crack it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The ability to clone myself and a year's supply of Adderall.
David Rossi: I'll put on the coffee.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: This is Delilah Grennan. She was bludgeoned and raped during the night at her home in Lower Canaan, Ohio.
Emily Prentiss: Lower where?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Small town forty miles outside of Cincinnati.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Staging the body face up with the arms across the chest like that.
Derek Morgan: Ritual. Nice hair, by the way.
[Morgan flips a lock of Reid's hair into his face]
Dr. Spencer Reid: [brushing his hair back] Thanks.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh, there's more. Small puncture wounds on her stomach. Note the lack of blood.
Emily Prentiss: They were inflicted postmortem. Were there any other victims?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Kind of. Victimology and signature match a serial killer from the same town ten years ago. Six victims spanning over ten months. He called himself...
Aaron Hotchner: The Angel Maker. I remember the case.
Dr. Spencer Reid: They caught that guy.
David Rossi: And executed him.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That's right. He was put to death by lethal injection a year ago yesterday.
Emily Prentiss: Yesterday.
Derek Morgan: So we're looking for a copycat.
David Rossi: Honoring the anniversary of his hero's death.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It says here they found semen at the crime scene. Perhaps locals will get a DNA match when they run it through VICAP?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Well, that's where it gets weird. They ran it already and they got a match, too.
Emily Prentiss: Well, if they already have a name, why'd they call us?
David Rossi: [reading the report] They've got to be kidding. The match they got back on the DNA is to a Cortland Bryce Ryan. Otherwise known as... the Angel Maker.

Emily Prentiss: Hey, you ever get groupies at your book signing?
David Rossi: Sometimes, if Barry Manilow isn't in town

"Criminal Minds: Elephant's Memory (#3.16)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [rushing into the briefing room] Sorry I'm late.
Dr. Spencer Reid: .
David Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Derek Morgan: [turning to look at Reid from behind] I hope it was a she.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I was at the movies.
David Rossi: Oh, really, why don't you tell us what it was about.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, I had to leave early, so I can't really -...
[stops because of Rossi's look]

David Rossi: [about a bombing in Texas] Whoever it is, they gunned down two cops and blew up a teenage girl. 'Till they're stopped, no one in that town is safe.

David Rossi: Roadblocks aren't gonna work!
Sheriff Britt Hallum: Why's that?
Emily Prentiss: He's not on the road

"Criminal Minds: Valhalla (#6.17)" (2011)
David Rossi: Are you alright? You know, you haven't had a vacation in a while. Weren't you talking about Italy?
Emily Prentiss: My mother extended her trip there. It wouldn't be much of a vacation.
David Rossi: It's a big country.
Emily Prentiss: Not big enough.

David Rossi: The more players we get on this board, the sooner Erin will get her nose in it.
Aaron Hotchner: Strauss already knows.
David Rossi: I'm surprised she wasn't in the SCIF.
Aaron Hotchner: She's on vacation.
David Rossi: Great. Now she'll never take another one.

David Rossi: Good guys and bad keep files close to them.
Penelope Garcia: What are in these files?
David Rossi: It's intel. Insurance. Protection. For times like this.

"Criminal Minds: The Black Queen (#9.12)" (2014)
David Rossi: Any idea who's behind it?
Penelope Garcia: Best guess is that's online collective known as Star Chamber. There one of several justice oriented groups that sprung up in the wake of the Steubenville rape case
Alex Blake: Star Chamber? Interesting name
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's derived from the 17th century British court designed to ensure fair enforcement of laws against the rich and powerful
Penelope Garcia: Actually according to my research they named it that because it's also the name of a mediocre, yet awesome Michael Douglas movie from 1983

David Rossi: Blake found one potential lead. It was the last client that Debbie kept before she went off the grid. It was by the name of Mr. Smith
Aaron Hotchner: Will Mr. Smith talk to us?
David Rossi: Once Blake promised that we wouldn't ruin his marriage. She's bringing in him now
[Blake enters with a woman and points her to the interview room; Blake walks to the others]
David Rossi: Who is that?
Alex Blake: Mr. Smith!
David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, Dr. Spencer Reid: [All three at the same time] Aaahh

Alex Blake: Hackers have signatures?
Penelope Garcia: Sometimes. Usually it's a message in the code to let other pros know, "Hey, this one was me." And in this case, the signature matches the DOJ hack, and it is, "Happy Fun Meow Meow."
Jennifer Jareau: Sorry, what?
Penelope Garcia: "Happy Fun Meow Meow."
David Rossi: What the hell does that mean?
Aaron Hotchner: It was Garcia's signature before she joined the BAU.

"Criminal Minds: The Gathering (#8.17)" (2013)
Derek Morgan: Any witnesses?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, sort of. Nicole was last seen at the restaurant with her boyfriend, John Butler. They had some sort of icky spat
David Rossi: Then he's on the short list!
Penelope Garcia: No, he isn't. He actually has a solid alibi, uh... liquid. He was drinking at the bar all night

David Rossi: Anything?
Derek Morgan: Well, these women practically lived online. Their posts went up 5, 6 times an hour
Derek Morgan: [Reads a post] "Brian used his own toilet for the first time today"
Alex Blake: Ah, cut her some slack, she's excited her son is potty trained!
David Rossi: Brian is her Cocker Spaniel!

David Rossi: Well, that's new, isn't it?
M.E. Marvi Hatcher: She was the only one with this type of bruising. I'm still doing tissue samples. All three women had copious amounts of blood in both their lungs and their stomachs.
David Rossi: They were still alive when their tongues were cut out.

"Criminal Minds: Today I Do (#6.15)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] "It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your mind." ~~ Sally Kempton

Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, this phrase doesn't seem to have a particular source or author. It's found pretty much every self-help book, I read 22 of them today, all touting the same, basic three-part plan.
David Rossi: Let me guess, phase one is positive thinking, visualizing goals.
Emily Prentiss: That's to work up the courage to get to phase two, taking real steps to achieve said goal.
David Rossi: Gail committed to school, got grades like never before.
Emily Prentiss: Molly gave up her obsessive food journal and started eating better.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's hard to believe motivational sayings alone would allow her to make these type of strides.
Emily Prentiss: Maybe that's why the UnSub moved in with them. She could offer support and encouragement day and night.
David Rossi: She'd be around to watch Molly's diet or Gail's study habits.
Emily Prentiss: At first her methods worked. She gets to be the hero, the savior.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She's a pure narcissist, so helping her victims is only about gaining their appreciation and dependence.
David Rossi: The more her victims gain confidence, the less they need a full-time cheerleader.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And that's when her motivational plan goes completely off the rails. Phase three is normally about maintaining the tenets of the program independently.
David Rossi: But her program doesn't end. She holds them captive, destroys them physically.
Emily Prentiss: She's the motivational speaker from hell.

David Rossi: Why didn't you tell us Molly battled with severe anorexia?
Jerry Grandin: I didn't know. All right, look, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be here. She was always a chubby kid, right? She always had to watch what she ate.
David Rossi: Did she get treatment?
Jerry Grandin: We don't believe in stuff like that. We're hard-workers. We like to solve our own problems.
David Rossi: It's urgent that you tell me everything that you know... Mr. Grandin, I'm having difficulty understanding why keeping Molly's secrets is more important than finding her alive.
Jerry Grandin: It's not. She just wouldn't want anyone knowing her personal problems.
David Rossi: Your daughter is specifically vulnerable to this suspect because of her private emotional issues. Now, we need to know as much about Molly as does the person who's holding her captive. So I'm going to ask you again, are there any other secrets you're not sharing with me?
Jerry Grandin: ...She collapsed about a year ago. Malnutrition. Anemia. She wasn't eating.
David Rossi: Did she get treatment?
Jerry Grandin: Thirty days. Finley Center for Eating Disorders.
David Rossi: At Syracuse General?
Jerry Grandin: Yeah... Why?
David Rossi: Gail Langston was treated there for depression.
Jerry Grandin: I should have told you.
David Rossi: ...Yeah.

"Criminal Minds: Route 66 (#9.5)" (2013)
David Rossi: I just put in new brakes. She's running like a dream.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I always admired the aesthetic of the classic Torpedo C-body, especially in the 1946. They just don't make them like that anymore.
David Rossi: Yeah, well, I'm lucky to have found it. Uncle Sal would be proud.

David Rossi: As you all know, Eddie Lee Wilcox is armed and dangerous.
Jennifer Jareau: He's also smart and criminally sophisticated. He knows police procedure and how to use it.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He's flush with cash from his robbery in Chicago, but he'll try to maintain a low profile, so he may resort to his robbery skills at some point.
Derek Morgan: Eddie's a car thief. And he's a good one, so he'll switch vehicles often.
Jennifer Jareau: He was last seen in a Chevy minivan, but we do not count on him being in it for long.
Derek Morgan: So canvass crowded parking lots and malls. That's most likely where he'll ditch cars and find new ones.
David Rossi: We've been calling this a child abduction, but Eddie's daughter Samantha may actually be an unwitting participant.
Alex Blake: We know she wanted to run away from home, and her father's somehow taking advantage of that.
Derek Morgan: This guy's evolved into a sociopathic spree killer, and he's got the ego of a career criminal, so there's no telling how far he'll go to save himself.
David Rossi: That ego may be feeding a sort of pipe dream that if he does escape, he may actually get to have a healthy relationship with his daughter.
Jennifer Jareau: A relationship he believes was taken from him.
Alex Blake: But when reality sets in, his dream will be shattered and that's when Samantha will be in the most danger.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The majority of these cases end in either murder-suicide or suicide by cop.
Jennifer Jareau: Up to this point, we've been reacting to him, but the roadblocks and the media blitz are set up to make him react to us.
Derek Morgan: So if you spot him, call for backup and proceed with extreme caution. He's probably sleep deprived and irrational.
David Rossi: The closer we get, the more dangerous he becomes.

Jennifer Jareau: Bleeding internally from what?
David Rossi: They think it's probably all the scar tissue.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Torn adhesions from his stab wounds.
Derek Morgan: George Foyet returns from the grave.
Alex Blake: What's the prognosis?
David Rossi: He's stable right now. They did an ultrasound, but they can't seem to see exactly where the bleeding was coming from.
Dr. Spencer Reid: He'll need an exploratory laparotomy.
Jennifer Jareau: Does Jack know?
David Rossi: Not yet. We talked to Haley's sister Jessica. We didn't want to worry the little guy.
Alex Blake: And what about Beth?
David Rossi: I left a message, but she's on a business trip in Milan. Look, I know you're all worried; so am I, but a teenage girl's been abducted, and Hotch would want us to focus on the case, not on him, and that's exactly what we're gonna do. When the plane lands, Morgan, JJ, I want you to interview Samantha Wilcox's mother. Reid, Blake, you go check out the abduction site. I'm catching the next flight to Wichita and I'll meet you there.
Alex Blake: What about Hotch?
David Rossi: Garcia's here. She's not going anywhere. Now let's go find this girl.

"Criminal Minds: Carbon Copy (#8.16)" (2013)
David Rossi: [opening, voiceover] "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." - Charles Caleb Colton

Jennifer Jareau: Do you really think they'll replace us?
David Rossi: Sounds like you'd have to kill Straus first, and I doubt if that's as easy as it sounds

David Rossi: [growing weary of Detective Rizzo's hostility] Hey, what's with you? You need a hug or something?

"Criminal Minds: Anonymous (#10.12)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quote] "As life runs on, the road grows strange, with faces new and near the end the milestones into headstones change, underneath every one a friend" - James Russell Lowell

David Rossi: I'll stay and help them however I can and then come up, two or three days max
Joy Struthers: Don't worry about it. The lake isn't going to dry up all of a sudden. Just take all the time you need
David Rossi: You're sure?
Joy Struthers: Yes, absolutely! We're gonna be fine, Dad!
Joy Struthers: You're there?
David Rossi: I... I'm sorry! Whenever I hear someone say "Dad", I start looking around to see who they are talking to!
Joy Struthers: Well, get used to it, Dad!

Thomas Scott: This is more than I was expecting!
David Rossi: Every marine is entitled to a funeral with full honors. You just have to ask. Plus a couple of three stars from my cigar club in DC, who wanted to fly in to be part of this.
Thomas Scott: And them?
David Rossi: Those gentlemen are who are left from your father's squad in Vietnam
Thomas Scott: How did you find them so quickly?
David Rossi: Someday I'll introduce you to one Penelope Garcia

"Criminal Minds: Roadkill (#4.23)" (2009)
Emily Prentiss: I think it's safe to assume our unsub is male
Aaron Hotchner: I agree with you, given what we know about aggressive driving and road rage
Emily Prentiss: And the fact that men have an unnatural bond with their cars
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: That is true!
Derek Morgan: Wait a minute, I don't know about unnatural
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I once dated a guy who washed his car more than he washed his hair
David Rossi: A nice car needs love
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: And a woman doesn't?
David Rossi: Uh, I'm not qualified to answer that

David Rossi: 7 hours. A proper addict could kill a whole pack. Did you ever smoke?
Emily Prentiss: I used to do a lot of things

David Rossi: He's had to rebuild it several times now. Parts can't be easy to find for a truck that old
Penelope Garcia: I smell what you're cooking, agent. Checking auto suppliers in Bend... yeah, Rossi get's a fruit cup at lunch!

"Criminal Minds: Tribute (#11.19)" (2016)
Jennifer Jareau: [In the plane, seeing Reid is staring to Derek's empty seat] Are you ever gonna turn that page?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I haven't finished it yet
Jennifer Jareau: You miss him, huh?
[Reid nods yes]
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, me too
David Rossi: Me three

David Rossi: [Getting out of the car] You know, I can't believe it! The whole ride down here, you didn't mention the guy once! I'm just saying
Emily Prentiss: What? Morgan? Okay, guys, I'm sorry. I was going to. I was just giving you space, I mean, he just left. It must still be raw. I remember leaving you guys both times. I was heartbroken. I'm sure he's gonna be okay. He's with his family and he's... Morgan. How are you guys doing? You're holding up?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, I mean, some days are better than others
David Rossi: Actually, I was giving you a hard time over your boyfriend Mark
Emily Prentiss: Wait! How do you know about Mark?
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, come on! I'll give you one guess
Emily Prentiss: Garcia!

David Rossi: You know, somehow he managed to talk Camille Harrison into a threesome with a prostitute. This guy must be quite the charmer
Dr. Spencer Reid: You are not kidding. The amount of germs exchanged in a situation like that, can be astronomical
Jennifer Jareau: Well, maybe Camille was into that kind of thing

"Criminal Minds: Inner Beauty (#11.20)" (2016)
David Rossi: [opening quotation] "I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain." - James Baldwin

David Rossi: [closing quotation] "Since loves grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul." - St. Augustine.

Jennifer Jareau: Maybe victim zero was a junkie who got clean and rejected the unsub
David Rossi: Hm-hmm
Jennifer Jareau: Or maybe she fell off the wagon and he was furious, 'cause he worked to nurse her back to health
David Rossi: Hm-hmm
Jennifer Jareau: [Notices Rossi isn't paying any attention] Or maybe she was abducted by an aliens
David Rossi: Yeah, maybe
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, this ends now! Let me see
[Rossi hands his phone, see the picture of Kai and Hayden]
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, my goodness! What a cutie! Wait is that...
David Rossi: Hayden Montgomery, ex-wife number two

"Criminal Minds: Angels (#9.23)" (2014)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "The name written on her forehead was a mystery: 'Babylon the Great, the mother of prostitutes and of the abominations of the earth'" - Revelations 17:5

David Rossi: What kind of knife did he use?
Albert Franklin: A sharp one

Principal Andrew McIntyre: Look! Those women I had sessions with. Okay, maybe some money changed hands, but that was just for their time!
David Rossi: Yeah, we read the disclaimers on those escorts' websites too

"Criminal Minds: Hostage (#11.14)" (2016)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "By the will art thou lost, by the will art thou found, by the will art thou free, captive and bound" - Angelus Silesius

David Rossi: Long term hostage, that's rare. We got another Ariel Castro here?
Penelope Garcia: Huh, funny that you say that. Not funny ha-ha, funny weird

Dr. Spencer Reid: Who owns the house?
Penelope Garcia: Oh, that's where it's getting even weirder. This woman, Clara Riggins, she's MIA, but her checking account is active, she pays her bills on time and if my math is correct, she's 108 years old
David Rossi: I might be going out on a limb here, but I'm gonna bet she had nothing to do with the kidnapping

"Criminal Minds: Hashtag (#10.7)" (2014)

Penelope Garcia: She has over 200,000 followers
David Rossi: Isn't that a lot for a 16-year old?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, massive, she was on her way to the iCelebrity status

[Charles walks out of a shop for a smoke]
Kate Callahan: Going somewhere, Chuck?
David Rossi: [while handcuffing Charles] Don't you know by now that cigarettes are bad for your health?

"Criminal Minds: The Road Home (#9.13)" (2014)
David Rossi: [Close quote] "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future", Paul Boese

Thomas Scott: I don't... hate my father, Mr. Rossi. I don't not care about him. I love him... But I've got to protect my family... That's my priority.
David Rossi: All I ask... is that you don't take the possibility of forgiveness off the table. Not yet.

Thomas Scott: I've worked too hard to build a good home for me and my family.
David Rossi: People can't build without tools, and tools are passed down to us from others. When you take in the life you've built, Thomas, and watch the life your son will build for his own family... Remember that.

"Criminal Minds: Demons (#9.24)" (2014)
Jennifer Jareau: [on mobile] How is he? Great... Okay, thanks Alex, bye.
[hangs up]
Jennifer Jareau: Spence is in recovery.
David Rossi: Good. The kid is too smart to die. Probably rerouted the bullets by power of suggestion.
Jennifer Jareau: Hm... I was scared
David Rossi: Yeah, I was too.

Alex Blake: It's funny about this job, it's it? The extremes.
David Rossi: Yeah, well, it's always been that way. One of the best days in my career turned out to be one of the worst. July 16th 1983, child abduction turned murder. The guy we napped killed five boys and there were cases we already tracked. It was such a victory in knowing that we'd stopped him hurting anyone else. When I got home my bags were packed. Caroline had had enough, I'd forgotten our anniversary again. As well as all the other little things that didn't seem important, because saving lives trumped everything, so I let ours die. Ah, well, it's the great balance of life. It finds its way to knock your legs away

Alex Blake: [has no signal on her phone] Ah, thought you said it doesn't get any worse?
David Rossi: Until it does.

"Criminal Minds: The Silencer (#8.1)" (2012)
Alex Blake: Did any of you work on the Silencer case?
David Rossi: That was during my extended sabbatical.
Aaron Hotchner: We all consulted, but nobody made the trip to Texas.
Alex Blake: Why not? Three women in four months; that's textbook kill rate. An undeniable signature, obvious surrogates...
Aaron Hotchner: We weren't invited by the local police.
Alex Blake: Aren't you tired of that?
Aaron Hotchner: Welcome to our world.

Jennifer Jareau: So how does eight years locked up change someone?
David Rossi: It takes away their voice.
Jennifer Jareau: Doesn't take away their rage, it only makes it worse.

David Rossi: [team comes back in the office] Don't tell me there's another one.
Erin Strauss: There's always another one.
David Rossi: I told you we should have just gotten into our cars.
Jennifer Jareau: Where are we off to now?
Erin Strauss: Home. You need to spend at least one night in your own beds.
David Rossi: You don't have to tell me twice.

"Criminal Minds: I Love You, Tommy Brown (#7.17)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: I will never understand this whole teacher lover thing. I can barely deal with a grown man.
David Rossi: What's interesting is, if it would have been a male teacher and a female student, he'd have gotten 20 years and none of this would have happened.
Jennifer Jareau: Well, she could get life plus 20 for all those murders she committed.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, it's funny. If she wasn't so pretty, she probably would never have been released in the first place.
Penelope Garcia: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's true. Unattractive female predators serve a longer prison sentence than their attractive counterparts.
Penelope Garcia: Wow. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's primal. There's a hierarchy to everything, including sex offenders.

David Rossi: [Profiling the unsub] Either way, they're calculating and dispassionate.
Penelope Garcia: And no appreciation for Chenille throw pillows.

Aaron Hotchner: We believe the unsub we're looking for is a white female who, based upon the organizational level of the crimes, is in her late 30s to early 40s.
Emily Prentiss: We also believe that something in the last few days has triggered her to think that killing was the only way she was gonna be able to obtain a child. Consequently, the foster families that did not have a child in their care when she visited became her victims.
David Rossi: Because all these families recently had children in their homes, we believe our unsub is motivated by maternal desire.
Jennifer Jareau: Maternal desire is the profound emotional need to mother a baby. This stems from either the tragic loss of her own child, or the inability to have one at all.
Dr. Spencer Reid: This unsub may also fantasize that someone else's baby belongs to her, and this emotion feels beyond her control. A... a woman who miscarries sometimes projects onto someone else's baby, and then sets out to take that child.
Derek Morgan: This may cause our unsub to do something drastic, like commit a Caesarian abduction, or kidnap a random kid. The speed at which the kills are occurring suggests that our unsub is frustrated and devolving.
Jennifer Jareau: This is causing her to go on a spree, which usually ends in a very high body count and suicide by cop.
Derek Morgan: So we should look at anyone who was pregnant and suffering from postpartum psychosis.
David Rossi: We also need to check those who worked for or had access to the local foster system.
Aaron Hotchner: Thank you. Any questions?
[all of the local police officers raise their hands]

"Criminal Minds: Supply and Demand (#6.24)" (2011)
David Rossi: [voiceover] What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. -Aristotle

[last lines]
David Rossi: You said we needed to talk, but at 2 a.m.?
Jennifer Jareau: I saw the lights were on.
David Rossi: And you couldn't sleep. Which tells me you've given some thought to what we discussed.
Jennifer Jareau: I haven't stopped thinking about it.
David Rossi: So?
Jennifer Jareau: I'm coming back.

David Rossi: What is it, kid?
Ashley Seaver: We only rescued seven victims today. What about the rest of these?
David Rossi: It never ends.
Derek Morgan: But today, I think we did good.
David Rossi: Yeah, we did.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, if we weren't so exhausted I would toast us.
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch comes in] Good work, everybody. Go home and get some rest. Nobody needs to come in until nine... Thirty.
[Hotch leaves]
Penelope Garcia: We were supposed to talk... Has he ever left before us?
Derek Morgan: Baby girl, I don't blame him. It's been a long-ass day.
Penelope Garcia: Well, you heard the man.
David Rossi: Go home.

"Criminal Minds: The Wheels on the Bus... (#8.8)" (2012)
David Rossi: Abducting a bus, a form of transportation, gas masks, shock collars. Dividing people into teams. This sounds a lot like, "Gods of Combat." This is a video game.

Derek Morgan: These guys are replicating a video game?
David Rossi: In the game, you take over a form of public transportation. Subway, train, bus. That's how you get your players.
Alex Blake: Wait a minute. You've played this game before?
David Rossi: Well, I may have played it once or twice. As I remember, the game consists of five players. Captain, lieutenant, a pair of soldiers, and the pawn.

David Rossi: How you doing?
Penelope Garcia: Do you ever have one of those days that you want to unplug from everything? Literally?
David Rossi: [opens his bag] Give me your phone. And your tablet. And your other phone. Okay. Tonight you're coming to my house. We're going to listen to Tony Bennett on vinyl and drink 18-year-old Scotch.
Penelope Garcia: I don't drink Scotch.
David Rossi: You'll learn.
Penelope Garcia: Thanks.
David Rossi: Anytime.
[Garcia passes another ringing phone]

"Criminal Minds: Amelia Porter (#10.10)" (2014)
David Rossi: You're an excellent dad, Aaron. Don't you ever forget it.

David Rossi: I don't get it, why didn't you say anything?
Aaron Hotchner: It didn't come up
David Rossi: Hello! We're not talking about switching to decaf. You and Beth broke up!
Aaron Hotchner: Dave...
David Rossi: I have a 20 year old bottle of Scotch that could drown your sorrows in!

Celine Destin: Hello, thanks for the bottle of champagne! Bartender told me you send it
David Rossi: So much for being a secret admirer
Celine Destin: I am Celine Destin. This is my friend Audrey Hanson
David Rossi: David Rossi and my friend Aaron Hotchner
Aaron Hotchner: Hi, how do you do?
Audrey Hansen: Hi
Aaron Hotchner: Nice to meet you.
Celine Destin: Hi
Aaron Hotchner: Hi, how are you?
Celine Destin: Strong silent types
Audrey Hansen: Yeah
Celine Destin: Intelligent, honest eyes, so you're not politicians
[both women laugh]
Audrey Hansen: FBI?
David Rossi: Wow, you two could be profilers
Celine Destin: Well, Audry practically is! I mean she's in marketing

"Criminal Minds: Memoriam (#4.7)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here?
Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives.
David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.

David Rossi: [referring to Reid's father] He's keeping tabs on you. That's saying something.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah and he Googled me. That makes up for everything.

David Rossi: [to Reid] Before we go down this road, you need to be sure
Derek Morgan: He's right. Some rocks don't need looking under

"Criminal Minds: There's No Place Like Home (#7.7)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: I didn't know you were a bad flyer.
David Rossi: I'm not. I just hate turbulence.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, turbulence very rarely causes planes to crash.
David Rossi: That does me absolutely no good at the moment. Thank you.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What we really need to worry about are microbursts - a sudden downburst of air associated with thunderstorms - but small craft like this one, if we hit one of those at the wrong altitude...
[pantomimes explosion]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Get pulverized.
David Rossi: [to the rest of the team] I beg of you to make him stop.

Dr. Spencer Reid: All right, try looking for thefts involving body parts, specifically left legs.
Penelope Garcia: Okay. See, this is why I can't talk about how my day was at dinner. Breakfast, lunch.
[sees a search result]
Penelope Garcia: Spencer, you scare me.
David Rossi: Join the club.
Penelope Garcia: A left leg was stolen off a body a year ago at the Riggio Funeral Home in Tulsa. They never found who did it.

Aaron Hotchner: [Rossi enters his office] You don't have to be here.
David Rossi: Ah, I get antsy when I'm gone too long. And thanks for the team's donation to ALS in Carolyn's name. She would have appreciated it.
Aaron Hotchner: So, how you doing?
David Rossi: I'm okay. It's funny, though. We were divorced twenty years, and I never missed her as much as I do right now.

"Criminal Minds: Heathridge Manor (#7.19)" (2012)
David Rossi: Emily, you asked earlier if she was going to a renaissance fair. There's something to that.
Emily Prentiss: Based on the dress, there could be more of a connection to history than the occult.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Renaissance fairs typically replicate 16th century England. They've surged in popularity since they began in the 1960s.
Penelope Garcia: And it's not just a bunch of nerds in costumes eating turkey legs, you guys.

Dr. Spencer Reid: There's something else that's been bothering me. Why is he putting white face makeup on his victims after they're dead?
David Rossi: Isn't that what they wore in the Elizabethan era?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes, but only upper-class women wore white face makeup. It was a symbol of virginity and purity. But he's dressing them like characters out of *The Merry Wives of Windsor*, which is one of Shakespeare's rare plays about the middle class.
Jennifer Jareau: So, it's inconsistent.
Aaron Hotchner: The makeup could mean that he believes death is purifying them.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if this is like the Salem witch trials, where they test the girls by trying to drown them? If they died, it meant they were obviously innocent. If they somehow survived, they were considered witches and therefore hanged.
David Rossi: Wonderful. A lose-lose situation.
Jennifer Jareau: The UnSub didn't submerge the victims in water to torture them. It was some sort of a test?
Dr. Spencer Reid: With death being the only possible outcome.

Dr. Spencer Reid: If someone's carrying on in Catherine's mission, then it's quite possible they both suffered from *folie à deux*, a shared psychotic disorder between two people who are extremely close, and that would mean it's most likely a family member.
David Rossi: Maybe one or both of her kids.

"Criminal Minds: Sick Day (#12.2)" (2016)
David Rossi: Both of these kids were brunette. If this is about perfecting a fantasy, they're probably surrogates for somebody
Dr. Tara Lewis: Yeah, but who?

Aaron Hotchner: Was she able to give a description?
Jennifer Jareau: Not much of one. White guy, about 6 feet tall. That's about it
David Rossi: Well, that narrows the search

David Rossi: Garcia, are you ready?
Penelope Garcia: Born that way, sir! Okay, this is the horrible part of my job where I stream the sadness to your tablets

"Criminal Minds: Drive (#11.12)" (2016)
David Rossi: [Tara drives into the parking] Wow, I haven't seen one of these beauties in a long time. It looks mint
Dr. Tara Lewis: Thank you
David Rossi: Who's your restoration guy?
Dr. Tara Lewis: Oh, um, you're looking at him. My dad has an auto repair show. He taught me everything I know. It took me five years to restore this puppy
David Rossi: Impressive. I inherited my uncle's '47 Buick
Dr. Tara Lewis: Now that is a sweet ride
David Rossi: Sure, but I don't have to tell you original parts are rarer than hens' theeth. I'm still looking for a, uh, radio antenna knob
Dr. Tara Lewis: It's funny, it's like we can track down world's dangerous and elusive unsubs but we can't find that one specific car part

David Rossi: [Reading news paper headlines of the case] Oh, well, not nearly as clever as that infamous New York Post headline: "Headless Body in Topless Bar"

"Criminal Minds: Mr. & Mrs. Anderson (#9.15)" (2014)
David Rossi: I've gotta hand it to her. Judith's not budging.
Dr. Spencer Reid: She's committed to protecting her husband.
David Rossi: And their marriage.
Alex Blake: "We're rebuilding step by step"? Interesting choice of words.
David Rossi: Oh, I've heard those many times before... Marriage counseling.

Dr. Spencer Reid: Insight therapy is also known as psychodynamic therapy. It helps patients rediscover what motivates them in an effort to resolve old conflicts.
David Rossi: But if the conflict stems from their marriage, then helping Judith and Alan rediscover what motivates them would reignite their compulsion to kill.

"Criminal Minds: Protection (#10.22)" (2015)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" - Buddha

David Rossi: So, there's no way that was a mugging?
Penelope Garcia: No, no! Unless it's some sort, you know, bizarre universe with a square planet, where things are like the exact opposite, totally the same

"Criminal Minds: Omnivore (#4.18)" (2009)
Aaron Hotchner: A bit dramatic, don't you think?
David Rossi: My ex-wife always said I have a flair for the dramatic.
Aaron Hotchner: Which one?
David Rossi: All of them.

David Rossi: Narcissistic killers need other people to recognize their power. That's why they contact the media.

"Criminal Minds: Hanley Waters (#6.20)" (2011)
David Rossi: Your child enters and leaves your life on the same day. That's one hell of a stressor.

Aaron Hotchner: I'm supposed to be asking how you're doing.
David Rossi: I've always had troubles letting people in. But this is different. I guess I've come to realize I'm more married to this team than I ever was to three ex-wives.

"Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders: The Harmful One (#1.1)" (2016)
David Rossi: Where you headed?
Jack Garrett: Thailand.
David Rossi: Most exotic place I've seen lately is Cleveland. Have some Pad Thai for me.
Jack Garrett: You're welcome to join us overseas anytime. We'd love to have you.
David Rossi: Thanks, but I prefer the comforts of home. Though I wouldn't mind swapping jets with you every once in a while.
Jack Garrett: [laughs] Not a chance.

Jack Garrett: FBI! Drop your weapon!
David Rossi: Last warning! Drop it now!
[Suspect walks on, reaches into his pocket, Rossi fires]
Jack Garrett: You shouldn't have done that
David Rossi: How about "You're welcome"? Guy raised his gun
Jack Garrett: We could've talked him down
David Rossi: Jack, last time I checked, words don't make you bulletproof

"Criminal Minds: If the Shoe Fits (#10.6)" (2014)
Dr. Spencer Reid: 5.30 in the morning, East Coast time. You don't seem tired at all
David Rossi: I am not tired. I am a night person
Dr. Spencer Reid: Speaking about that: you may want to reconsider revamping your circadian clock to more traditional chronotype!
David Rossi: Yeah, I'll put that on my to-do list
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, seriously! Studies have found that at night owls show reduce integrity of white matter in the brain compared to early risers
David Rossi: Well, I appreciate your concern, I am very happy with my brain just like it is!

David Rossi: [Seeing the next broken window in a car] Wouldn't mind having the window replacement franchise in this town!

"Criminal Minds: True Night (#3.10)" (2007)
David Rossi: Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.

David Rossi: Something wrong?
Emily Prentiss: He's the first unsub I've worked who wasn't a bad guy. You know? Six months ago, Jonny McHale was just a regular person.
David Rossi: Every unsub is ill on some level. Most can't help what they do any more than Jonny could.
Emily Prentiss: But he went from successful writer and artist to brutal killer in six months.
David Rossi: He suffered an unbelievable tragedy.
Emily Prentiss: I know. I get it.
David Rossi: So what's bugging you?
Emily Prentiss: It just makes me wonder... are we all capable of becoming something like that?

"Criminal Minds: Closing Time (#7.14)" (2012)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, guys, there's something else. According to the M.E. report, each of the victims was missing their genitals.
David Rossi: He could be trying to hide evidence of sexual assault.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe. Jeffrey Dahmer used to keep his victim's sex organs on display. What if this UnSub is doing the same thing?

Aaron Hotchner: [Rossi gets onto the elevator] Morning.
[once settled, Rossi gives Hotch a once-over]
Aaron Hotchner: What?
David Rossi: You work out this morning?
Aaron Hotchner: I did.
David Rossi: And how was the, uh... workout?
Aaron Hotchner: It's called training, and it was fine.
David Rossi: Right... "training". For what, though?
Aaron Hotchner: Just stop.
David Rossi: You know, race day is almost here. You'll need a new excuse to see her.
Aaron Hotchner: It's been handled.
David Rossi: Atta boy. When?
[they arrive on their floor]
Aaron Hotchner: Friday.
David Rossi: Come hell or high water, Aaron, I will get us back by Friday.

"Criminal Minds: Awake (#11.8)" (2015)
Manager: Steve was a good guy. Hope you find the psycho who did this
David Rossi: We have every intention!

Jennifer Jareau: [Yawns] Oh, I'm sorry
Derek Morgan: Wow, kids really are game changers, aren't they?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah, how is it that I wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed?
Derek Morgan: Why don't you try to get some shut-eye before we land?
Jennifer Jareau: Oh, trust me, I tried! It's not happening
[looks at her phone]
Derek Morgan: Hey Rossi, I remember Reid told me once, eh, I think it went something like this:
[mimics Reid]
Derek Morgan: "Hey Morgan, you know electronics, they emit a sleep depriving type of blue light that prevent you from falling asleep at night"
David Rossi: Yeah, I remember that. Actually it was more like, uhm
[mimics Reid]
David Rossi: "Studies show that we need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night"
[Both chuckle; they look at JJ who fell asleep]
David Rossi: Works like a charm!

"Criminal Minds: Painless (#7.4)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Does anyone remember this picture?
David Rossi: Hotch and I were there. That's Principal Doug Givens. We had to drag him to safety.
Emily Prentiss: High school bombing in Boise, right?
Jennifer Jareau: School shooter *and* school bomber. A kid named Randy Slade shot three students, and then set off an IED in the cafeteria via cell phone, killing himself and thirteen kids total, but not before posting all of his plans online. It was one of those "where were you?" events. My whole campus was glued to the TV.

Emily Prentiss: What else do we have to go on?
Jennifer Jareau: Spence said the UnSub would have broken his hand beating Chelsea to death. Did you notice anyone with a cast on their hand, someone who seemed hurt?
Emily Prentiss: No.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I might know why. This UnSub doesn't feel pain. There's a medical condition called pain asymbolia, where patients register harmful stimuli without being bothered by it. They've been documented holding their hand over an open flame because their brain doesn't send pain signals to the central nervous system.
David Rossi: Sounds pretty rare. You sure the UnSub has it?
Dr. Spencer Reid: The crime scenes prove it. This UnSub displayed an unusual level of savagery towards his victims. And consider this, he smashed through a glass display case, but there were not cuts on Jerry. That means he most likely punched through it as a show of force. Now, the only way the human body could withstand that level of pain is if he couldn't feel it at all.
David Rossi: It must take a major toll on someone's emotional development.
Derek Morgan: A significant contributor to our sense of empathy is the way we personally experience pain.
Aaron Hotchner: And the UnSub didn't develop his sense of empathy because it was cut off. Does every person with asymbolia have this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, most feel empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is still accurate. Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage...

"Criminal Minds: To Bear Witness (#9.4)" (2013)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Six letters. "Between the waves."
Alex Blake: Slatch.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes. 10 letters. "Wandering alone."
Alex Blake: Uh... If it's Latin in origin, alone is "solus," vagare is "wondering," 10 letters... S-O-L-I-V-A-G-A-N-T.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Congratulations, Blake, you just finished that crossword puzzle in seven minutes.
Alex Blake: I mean, you could do it, too.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I've done it in five and a half, actually. There's a theory about pattern recognition where you don't even have to look at the clues anymore, but I found that going across instead of down helps because the sequence of saccades and fixations in traditional reading assist with other oculomotor tasks such as solving crossword puzzles.
Alex Blake: Ah.
David Rossi: Happy Wednesday, my nerds.
Alex Blake: Hey, you're here early.
David Rossi: Apparently not early enough. I missed all the excitement. You do that in pen?
Alex Blake: Is there any other way?

[last lines]
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: You always here this late?
Jennifer Jareau: Pretty much, yeah. Every time your name was mentioned today and every time I didn't say, "Hey, yeah, I know him," I'm lying.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: I know it's not easy. I don't like it either.
Jennifer Jareau: We're surrounded by profilers, Matt. One side glance and they're gonna figure it all out.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: Separating us in the field was smart.
Jennifer Jareau: It was the only way. Look, I... I know why we can't tell them. I get that, but... We can't have too many of these conversations either.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: That case could stay open for a couple years.
Jennifer Jareau: It's already been almost three.
Jennifer Jareau: Did you take this position because of me?
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: No, no. Trust me, I walked into the Hoover Building this morning and was told drive out to Quantico immediately. So, someone put this transfer on the fast track.
Jennifer Jareau: State?
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: They wouldn't admit it if they did.
Jennifer Jareau: True.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: This... us... We're good, right?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: Okay. You want to meet at the Air and Space in the morning? Run some sprints?
Jennifer Jareau: I'm going to make breakfast for my boys.
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: Great plan.
David Rossi: [walks to them and pushes the elevator button] Going home?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah.
David Rossi: Cruz?
Section Chief Mateo Cruz: I've got some work to do. Good night.
Jennifer Jareau: Good night.
David Rossi: Good night.
[getting in the elevator after JJ]
David Rossi: You good?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah. All good.

"Criminal Minds: Paradise (#4.4)" (2008)
Emily Prentiss: Well Roadside motels definately go on my list.
[When Reid gives her a funny look... ]
Emily Prentiss: Of things to never do again.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You have a *list?*
David Rossi: [to Reid] You *don't?*

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: I was here, I talked to him and I didn't see it
David Rossi: He made himself look like a good guy. You bought it. It happens to the best of us! Welcome to the club

"Criminal Minds: Outfoxed (#5.8)" (2009)
David Rossi: Hudson, this is Dr. Spencer Reid.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: [shaking Reid's hand] Field agent Anne Hudson. The, uh, father is serving in Iraq. Three nights ago the cops found his family buried over there.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Buried?
Emily Prentiss: Neighbors heard the dog barking, came over, he was scratching at the grave. Lucy, their oldest child, she's still in her swimsuit.
Aaron Hotchner: What does the father know?
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Some of it. He was on patrol. Took his unit a couple of days to reach him. He arrives today.
David Rossi: Last year, the Williams family was killed and found exactly the same way. They lived in Newport News.
Derek Morgan: The father, Dan Williams, was also serving overseas.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: Now the police are overwhelmed and getting serious heat from the military. We need some answers fast.
Jennifer Jareau: As do the media. They're already calling this the work of a serial killer.
Aaron Hotchner: They're right. It is.
Field Agent Anne Hudson: But why bury them? I mean, it can't be to hide the bodies.
David Rossi: It's a sign of remorse.
Derek Morgan: And when they're done being remorseful, this will happen again.

David Rossi: A psychopath born in that conflict! That's not a good mix

"Criminal Minds: Rabid (#9.18)" (2014)
David Rossi: Could be a form of torture, maybe a biting fetish?
Dr. Weinstein: Didn't know there was such a thing
David Rossi: Oh, you'll be surprised!

Penelope Garcia: I got the 4-1-1 on our first victim, Melvin Lewis. Originally from The Malibu of the Midwest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Melvin moved to Milwaukee 12 years ago when wifey ran away with his best friend.
David Rossi: Ouch.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Luckily, they had no kids. No criminal record. Like super squeaky clean. Not even a parking ticket. He joined Facebook a year ago. He has a whopping six friends, all from work.
Derek Morgan: He drives a truck, right?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. A milk truck, to be exact. But only did that for a month. Before, he worked for 10 years at an animal control center, but he was laid off due to budget cuts.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What exactly did he do, Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: He was a dogcatcher. But like a SWAT team of dogcatchers. He specialized in dangerous and trapped animals, including, but not limited to skunks, a raccoon, and one time a giant python.
Derek Morgan: All right, thanks, babe.
Dr. Spencer Reid: That could be it.
Derek Morgan: What? The python?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, bite marks. Of course. That could be how he was doing it. That's why it was undetectable. Brain tissue, we need to look at brain tissue...
Derek Morgan: Okay, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry. I don't think this is a biting fetish or cannibalism. I think it's a virus, and the biting is merely a means of transmission.
Derek Morgan: What kind of virus?
Dr. Spencer Reid: There are several possibilities. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, tick-borne encephalitis, but the most likely culprit is rabies, and that wouldn't show up in an autopsy, except in brain tissue.
David Rossi: So, since Lewis was the only victim not bitten by a human, the UnSub must have used an animal to infect him first.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And after that, he somehow facilitated human to human transmission.
Derek Morgan: It would explain the random victimology. It doesn't matter who he infects. All he needs is a host.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Which also means the holding period isn't about torture, it's about incubation.
David Rossi: I was attacked by a rabid for once. Shot the thing three times before it went down. Freakin' terrifying. It was like a horror movie.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to have the M.E. test for rabies vectors in the brain samples.
Derek Morgan: And then we need to deliver the profile.

"Criminal Minds: Bully (#9.11)" (2013)
David Rossi: Hey? You're sure you're okay?
Alex Blake: Oh yeah! It's nothing.
Dr. Spencer Reid: A couple of inches to your right and he could have hit your brachial artery. All things considered you were extraordinarily lucky.
Alex Blake: Yeah, luck had nothing to do with it, I'm practically bullet proof.
David Rossi: Yeah, I heard that about you.

Jennifer Jareau: [looking at crime scene pictures] Hm, looks brutal!
David Rossi: Classic overkill
Dr. Spencer Reid: Stripped and wearing women's underwear that, I am assuming, weren't his
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, all of his clothes where found nearby, his skivvies included

"Criminal Minds: The Itch (#10.4)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: This is an inherent contradiction about who this victim is
David Rossi: Only one?

Dr. Spencer Reid: Morgellons?
Penelope Garcia: There is a Magellan astronomy club that meets on Tuesdays
Dr. Spencer Reid: No Morgellons! M-O-R-G-E-L-L-O-N-S
Penelope Garcia: Ah, the vowels will get you
David Rossi: Okay, I'll bite: what's Morgellons?

"Criminal Minds: Faceless, Nameless (#5.1)" (2009)
David Rossi: [voiceover] Karl Krauss said, A weak man has doubts before a decision; a strong man has them afterwards.

Derek Morgan: We're not working a case, why call us to a crime scene?
David Rossi: I was hoping you knew

"Criminal Minds: A Thousand Suns (#10.3)" (2014)
David Rossi: [closing quote] "We knew the world would not be the same: some people laugh, a few people cried, most people were silent" - J. Robert Oppenheimer

David Rossi: So Washington is his Hiroshima. Makes sense in a twisted way.

"Criminal Minds: True North (#12.19)" (2017)
Jennifer Jareau: Apparently, there is a quasi-religious cult not too far away
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, I already into checked that. I know I'm not the profiler here, but they didn't do it
David Rossi: What makes you so sure?
Penelope Garcia: Because that cult is so respectful of life... Okay, they don't eat carrots, because they grow in the earth! I practice non-violence with my food choices, but that's a whack-a-doodle!

David Rossi: Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Yes sir, I'm here for you, sir
David Rossi: Cochrane University in Ohio. What's the out-of-state tuition?
Penelope Garcia: Eh... Yikes! $37,000 annually. That's not taken in consideration books, cost of living, ramen, beer kegs, bean bags chairs et cetera

"Criminal Minds: Internal Affairs (#11.9)" (2015)
Jillian Carter: Do I really look like a drug dealer?
David Rossi: You'd be surprised.

David Rossi: "A mole hunt is ill-advised for those who don't want to risk their own skin." It's an old proverb I just made up

"Criminal Minds: Pariahville (#11.6)" (2015)
Nick Baleman: [admiring Rossi's shoes] Do you wear an "E"?
David Rossi: Why don't I boot you in the ass, and you can tell me?

David Rossi: [to Tara] You know, this job ain't all milk and honey. Some days you lose, some days you do things you don't wanna do. So, ask yourself this: where can you the most good and still do yourself the least harm? Then make your decision.

"Criminal Minds: Masterpiece (#4.8)" (2008)
[last lines]
David Rossi: "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

David Rossi: [opening quote, voiceover] "Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles." - Mark Twain.

"Criminal Minds: The Instincts (#4.6)" (2008)
[Walking into a messy crime scene in the middle of the desert]
David Rossi: It's not exactly a well preserved scene.
Emily Prentiss: It's the crime scene investigators. They wanna play cop instead of just being scientist. And they end up trampling on everything.

Emily Prentiss: Where were you on the days Ethan Hayes and Michael Bridges were abducted?
Walter Davis: I was home
David Rossi: Don't you need to ask what days those were?

"Criminal Minds: The Apprenticeship (#8.6)" (2012)
Aaron Hotchner: Dallas P.D. discovered an unidentified male body with the mouth sawn shut.
David Rossi: Like the Silencer. He's dead. It's obviously a copycat.
Aaron Hotchner: Dallas division is into it. They say they'd keep us in the loop.

David Rossi: But the jump to humans is usually made in their mid-20s
Alex Blake: Hmm-mmm, Thomas Dillon started killing at 39
Jennifer Jareau: Joseph Duncan was... 43
David Rossi: Usually!

"Criminal Minds: In Heat (#3.17)" (2008)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Gets out of the car] Ah! Is it always as hot?
Derek Morgan: [Looking at girls walking by] Every day holiday!
David Rossi: That's South Beach!
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, that's not what I am talking about
Aaron Hotchner: They know

Detective Tina Lopez: I am gonna take the skinny kid and Derek to the dumpsites. So, I got my cell, radio if anyone doesn't give you anything, just call me
Emily Prentiss: Great
[Detective Tina turns and leaves]
David Rossi: She did say she wasn't good at names
Emily Prentiss: Remembered Derek
David Rossi: Wonder how she'll describe us?
Emily Prentiss: Oh, I am sure I don't wanna know!

"Criminal Minds: Alpha Male (#12.15)" (2017)
Emily Prentiss: Garcia, compile a list of acid sales in the tri-state area New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Also, anyone buying those ingredients to make their own
Penelope Garcia: Ooh, it's gonna be a long list
David Rossi: If the kid were here, he'd probably rattle off every acid known to man, their chemical properties, plus their sales down to the milliliter

David Rossi: [On: et disperdam illud] My Latin is a little rusty
Luke Alvez: It means: I will destroy it.
[JJ and Rossi gaze at him]
Luke Alvez: Twelve years of Catholic school

"Criminal Minds: The Forever People (#10.11)" (2015)
Aaron Hotchner: How many boats are there on Lake Mead?
Dr. Spencer Reid: 1908
Kate Callahan: Come on! You just know that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, there are 1908 boats on Lake Mead
Kate Callahan: Where did you get that number?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Based on the population density of the area, I estimated
Kate Callahan: You guessed! I mean: is this guy really a genius or does he just says things with authority and we all believe him?
Derek Morgan: Oh wow, thank you! Ten years! It took ten years for someone to finally have my back. Alright Einstein, she just called you out, bring it!
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look it up!
David Rossi: I am... And the kid's right!
Derek Morgan: Ah
Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Kate] I accept your apology.
[to Derek]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Load up
Derek Morgan: Never!
Aaron Hotchner: [Hotch secretly loads up with Reid]

Dr. Spencer Reid: He'd be a psychrophile then, someone with a sexual fetish for the cold
Kate Callahan: So let me get this straight: we're saying that there is a serial killer inside the cult?
David Rossi: Talk about a needle in a needle stack!

"Criminal Minds: Run (#7.24)" (2012)
David Rossi: They say that good things happen to good people. Today is one of those days, and these are two of those people. We love you.
David Rossi, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, Detective William LaMontagne Jr., Emily Prentiss, Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Sandy Jareau, Beth Clemmons, Penelope Garcia: Cheers!

David Rossi: Don't do that
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: What?
David Rossi: Go all quiet
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: What am I supposed to do?
David Rossi: Yell
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I can't
David Rossi: You can't blame yourself
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Wanna bet? I should have never left Henry today
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You were doing your job
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I'm a mom!
David Rossi: And a federal agent
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I'm a mom first!
David Rossi: Who had no possible way of knowing how this day would go
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [sighs] We made this deal, Will and I, that Henry would never be alone without either of us. I broke that
David Rossi: He'll forgive you

"Criminal Minds: Target Rich (#11.7)" (2015)
David Rossi: [closing quotation] "To a father, nothing is dearer than a daughter." - Euripides.

Joy Rossi: [Phone rings] Hang on, it's my editor
[picks up her phone]
Joy Rossi: This is Joy Rossi... Uh, huh... Yeah... Just send me the latest version... Thanks
[hangs up]
David Rossi: Joy Rossi?
Joy Rossi: I didn't get to use the name Rossi growing up so I thought I'd try a new byline. What do you think?
David Rossi: I think I need to get a subscription to Esquire!

"Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders (#10.19)" (2015)
David Rossi: Do you guys eat like this wherever you go?
Lily Lambert: Pretty much
David Rossi: Then if you need another consultation, you know where to find me!

David Rossi: So, how many of these do you think we've solved?
Lily Lambert: Hum, enough for another best seller!
Aaron Hotchner: These are the endings we want!
Jack Garrett: Amen to that!

"Criminal Minds: House on Fire (#4.19)" (2009)
David Rossi: [about a serial arsonist] Whoever set these went from no victims to thirty-one in less than two weeks. That's a hell of an escalation.
Emily Prentiss: Why didn't they call us in sooner?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: The local police and fire department knew they were dealing with an arsonist, but they had no idea he'd become a killer.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Most arsonists don't. They just like setting fires; any deaths that occur are almost always accidental.
Derek Morgan: Thirty-one victims is not an accident.
Aaron Hotchner: Police chief knows he made a mistake. And he learned the hard way that even though not all arsonists are killers, they do have one thing in common: once they start, they can't stop.

Derek Morgan: The bar matches his previous locations. It's another local hot spot.
David Rossi: Only five victims this time. Why lower the body count?
Derek Morgan: [pointing to a chain on the bar door] Rossi. There's something else that's different.
David Rossi: The front and back?
Derek Morgan: He really wanted to make sure nobody got out this time.
David Rossi: But why bother? No one made it out of the other ones.
Derek Morgan: Maybe he knew the fire department would show up sooner.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Yeah, we're faster now. Practice makes perfect. What the hell difference does it make? And what good are you guys doing us? You see chains, figure he didn't want anyone to get out? I could have told you that.
David Rossi: We're not criticizing anyone. Our job is to look at the same things you do, but to try and see them from a different perspective.
Fire Captain Danny Wales: Sure.
Derek Morgan: Look, all due respect, captain, but you look at that chain and you say the killer wanted to make sure nobody got out, right? Well, we look at that chain and we see a little more. That chain is different than the first two fires. Now, either we're looking at an entirely new arsonist, or this unsub wanted to make absolutely certain that nobody got out. Now if this is true, that means something changed. Maybe his emotions changed. Maybe his agenda, but something. See, this chain tell us this is the fire that matters. This fire is gonna help us catch this guy.

"Criminal Minds: Normal (#4.11)" (2008)
Jordan Todd: Did I do that? Is this my fault?
David Rossi: No, kiddo. No way. They were gone before we even got the case. We knew he would hurt his family; we just didn't know that he already had.

David Rossi: [closing quote, voiceover] "There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." - President Dwight Eisenhower.

"Criminal Minds: Boxed In (#10.5)" (2014)
Stanley Holmes: Is this really necessary? I told you, I didn't see anything except for those damn kids throwing eggs at my house! I got to go to work in the morning!
David Rossi: Oh, I am sorry for the inconvenience, sir, but I am sure the parents of the missing child don't really care and frankly neither do I!

Jennifer Jareau: Nobody saw anything.
David Rossi: Even if they did, it's Halloween, could be in costume, we could be looking for SpongeBob for all we know

"Criminal Minds: Unknown Subject (#7.12)" (2012)
Emily Prentiss: What is this on the floor?
Penelope Garcia: Uh, that. Oh, god. That is... the contents of Vanessa Campbell's stomach, which she... ralphed up.
Emily Prentiss: And in the glass?
Penelope Garcia: According to the police report, it is salt and water.
Emily Prentiss: Homemade emetic.
Penelope Garcia: E-what-what?
David Rossi: Quick and dirty cocktail, meant to induce vomiting.
Emily Prentiss: Vanessa Campbell and her husband moved to a new address, they put locks on the doors, they took precautions. She even knew what to do if she was dosed again, and it still wasn't enough. That's what he gets out of it.
Aaron Hotchner: Their fear. He wants them to know that no matter what, he can still get to them.

Chief Wilson: I just got the breakdown of Vanessa Campbell's vomit, and there's no trace of Rohypnol or GHB.
David Rossi: Date rape drugs are fast, but not that fast.
Aaron Hotchner: However he's dosing them, it's not through their stomachs. Chief, have you, uh, been able to contact all the victims?
Chief Wilson: Yeah, the ones that we could find. Some moved, and some wouldn't take our call. But then the press got a hold of it, and the women started to contact us. Three more victims admitted they'd been re-assaulted.
David Rossi: Eighty percent of women who are raped never report it. Understandable they didn't want to report it a second time.

"Criminal Minds: Solitary Man (#5.17)" (2010)
David Rossi: So, how long is it gonna take you to get in that ditch?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Get in that ditch? I got shot in the knee, remember? My doctor says I'm not allowed to do any climbing.
David Rossi: It's a ditch.
Dr. Spencer Reid: New boots, huh? Italian leather?
[Reid walks down to the ditch]
David Rossi: [after several conversations about the crime scene,] Do you have any ideas why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
David Rossi: Well, I guess there is a first time for everything.
[Rossi walks away]
Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Rossi, I'm gonna need a little bit of help getting out of this ditch. Rossi? Rossi?

David Rossi: His first victim was Erica Joy from Lexington, South Carolina. She disappeared from a truck stop
Aaron Hotchner: What did she do for a living?
David Rossi: According to her rap sheet, every one she could
Sheriff Sanders: So she's a lot lizard. It's a name they give prostitutes who hang around truck stops

"Criminal Minds: A Badge and a Gun (#11.15)" (2016)
Derek Morgan: [In front of a door to a gated area] Well, he could have just pushed all the buttons, hope somebody let him in
David Rossi: Or...
[tries to open the gate, which works]
David Rossi: he just walked right in

David Rossi: Garcia, we need you to track all the cell phones for all the male agents of the Bureau over the past week
Penelope Garcia: Whoa, that is a lot of testosterone. Okay, there are 13,421 special agents, around 11 thousand of those are male. Why are you asking... Oh, come on! Really? The good guys are supposed to be good
Jennifer Jareau: Okay, crosscheck the locations of those male agents against the crime scene coordinates
Penelope Garcia: [sighs] crosschecking as we speak, and not so secretly hoping I do not get a match

"Criminal Minds: Exit Wounds (#5.21)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [sees Rossi walking into the conference room wearing a suit] Wow!
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Sorry to ruin your night.
Derek Morgan: [smugly] What are you working on wife number four?
David Rossi: I see you people *way* too much.

David Rossi: Not many people know that
Joshua Beardsley: I'm not many people

"Criminal Minds: A Family Affair (#7.16)" (2012)
David Rossi: What about sexual violations?
Aaron Hotchner: No, the ME's report says there's no evidence of sexual activity before death
Penelope Garcia: So, what's he doing with them?
Aaron Hotchner: That's what we need to find out

Agent Lynn Brooks: How effective are those press conferences?
David Rossi: Incredibly
Agent Lynn Brooks: Then why haven't we heard from him?
David Rossi: A bond like this takes years to develop. We're not going to break it in a few hours

"Criminal Minds: Nanny Dearest (#8.21)" (2013)
Dr. Spencer Reid: One thing's different, though. He's back in Griffith Park.
David Rossi: Coincidence?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Griffith Park spans 4,310 acres, making it one of the largest urban parks on all of North America. Given its sheer size, coincidence certainly is a possibility.
David Rossi: But he's never repeated parks before.
Dr. Spencer Reid: No, he hasn't.

Penelope Garcia: [phone rings] Hallelujah, this place is dead. Give me a job, give me a job.
David Rossi: Garcia, I need you to check the health records of all five kids that the UnSub returned. Any special needs, any medications.
Penelope Garcia: Okey-dokey artichokey. Ah. Everyone healthy as a horse. That's super healthy. Clean bill. Nothing.
David Rossi: Thanks, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Really? That's all? But I have so many skills to help. Please? Hello?

"Criminal Minds: Keeper (#12.4)" (2016)
Penelope Garcia: [Walks in, while Reid is loudly cheering about the good news on his mother] Okay, it's customary that the lottery winner shares that mega payout with the rest of the office
David Rossi: Well, Reid's news is even better than that
Penelope Garcia: Oh, I can't wait to hear, but right now we've got a case

David Rossi: You're up for a road trip?
Dr. Tara Lewis: You're kidding me? I pack a toothbrush to go to the post-office!

"Criminal Minds: Mayhem (#4.1)" (2008)
Penelope Garcia: Agent Rossi? We heard there was some kind of explosion.
Lisa Bartleby: [to a CCTV tech] We got this.
David Rossi: Where are you?
Penelope Garcia: I just walked into the CCTV command post.
David Rossi: Can you see anything?
Penelope Garcia: I literally just walked through the door, sir.
David Rossi: We got on the news it was an SUV that exploded. A black SUV within blocks of the Federal Plaza.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, God.
David Rossi: Now, do you have eyes there?
Penelope Garcia: I, uh... yeah. Yeah, I've got like three hundred cameras right there. Give me a sec.
David Rossi: I'm here with Reid, but I don't know where anyone else is. And Garcia?
Penelope Garcia: Yes, sir?
David Rossi: Find them.

Detective Brustin: They found nothing at any of the sites that you told them that these guys were targeting. Maybe this thing is over
David Rossi: Or maybe that's exactly what they want us to think

"Criminal Minds: The Bittersweet Science (#7.10)" (2011)
David Rossi: So, is the doomsday bike ride happening?
Aaron Hotchner: Yes, it is. Tomorrow morning, 9:00. But, uh, I don't know.
David Rossi: I'm pretty sure Hayley wouldn't want you to avoid moving on.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm not avoiding moving on. I'm just not sure.
David Rossi: Not sure about what, going on a bike ride? Aaron, I know you think it's too soon, but you're no good to anyone when you're miserable.
Aaron Hotchner: I'm not miserable.
David Rossi: Ehh... maybe slightly uptight.
Aaron Hotchner: [laughs] All right, I'll give you slightly uptight.
David Rossi: If there's one thing I learned from Carolyn's death, it's that life is short. And you deserve to be happy.

Penelope Garcia: Okay, Rossi, out with it. Is Hotch dating?
David Rossi: I don't know.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, statistically, widowed men start dating much faster than females, but Hotch is refuting the data. It's been two years and 19 days.
Penelope Garcia: Venus is aligned with Mars, which means love is in the air and maybe we will get weekends off.
[Morgan clears his throat]
Penelope Garcia: What? Is he standing there? He's standing there, isn't he?
Aaron Hotchner: Hello, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Hello. Someone talk about the case.

"Criminal Minds: Sense Memory (#6.14)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Spin the wheel, and it is sunny Los Angeles, people.
Derek Morgan: Two times in one year?
David Rossi: Remind me again why it's called the City of Angels.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was originally called "The Town of our Lady the Queen of the Angels."... That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?

Derek Morgan: One of the drivers may have picked someone up off the meter.
Aaron Hotchner: The cabs have GPS?
Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Taxis are tracked more than Gaga's Twitter.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What does that mean?
David Rossi: I'll explain it to him, Garcia.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah, teach him to worship the other Lady G, boss. Ta and ta.

"Criminal Minds: Lo-Fi (#3.20)" (2008)
Derek Morgan: Who in the hell thinks they can get away with murder in the middle of the day in New York City?
David Rossi: Someone patient, who waits for the one who gets separated from the flock.
Derek Morgan: [pantomimes holding a gun to Rossi's head] Bang.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Is that the spot?
Detective Brustin: Yeah, thereabouts.
David Rossi: Are we boring you? Look, I know you don't like SSA Joyner. Fine, I get it. But we're here to do a job.
Detective Brustin: Have any of your people ever been cops?
Derek Morgan: Chicago.
Detective Brustin: Then you'll understand. I take it real personal if something like this happens in my city. I was a beat cop during the Son of Sam. This is worse. He's not just going after one type; he's going after everybody. And I need everybody working on this case taking it personally.
Derek Morgan: You have that.
Detective Brustin: We'll see.

Derek Morgan: [about telling off SSA Joyner] I know, I was out of line.
David Rossi: You get too emotionally involved sometimes. I know the feeling.
Derek Morgan: I just felt like Hotch was taking her side.
David Rossi: There are no sides here.
Derek Morgan: I know.
David Rossi: The word is, they have an eye on you if SSA Joyner gets canned. People talk. But if she were to get fired, it would be because we didn't solve this case.
Derek Morgan: Rossi, I hope you're not saying you think I want her to fail.
David Rossi: Of course not. But I've never seen you push a superior like that before. So would you take the job?
Derek Morgan: I don't know. It might be nice to finally be the one making the calls.
David Rossi: And dealing with the politics of running a field office? That doesn't seem like you.
Derek Morgan: BAU wears people out, man. Look at Gideon. That man was *the* best, and in the end, he simply ran away. I mean, Hotch hasn't even thought about cracking a smile in over a year. That man has to take a personal day just so he can have a conversation with his own kid. What about you? How many times you been married?
David Rossi: I get it. But I'll make you a deal. If I think you're losing it, I'll pull you out myself. But right now, I see someone who wants to get back on the job. Or is there another reason why you haven't even touched that beer?

"Criminal Minds: The Crossing (#3.18)" (2008)
David Rossi: The only people I ever made happy were divorce attorneys.

Aaron Hotchner: [Looking at a photo] You know, sometimes you can see it, but, uh, they all look pretty happy
David Rossi: Happiness is easy to fake when you only have a split second. You should see how many happy looking photos I have of me with my ex's

"Criminal Minds: 200 (#9.14)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: Whoever took Cruz and JJ is highly trained and highly organized. Justice, Defense, and State? They wouldn't be on edge like this if this was a simple matter of two missing agents.
David Rossi: Is Hotch worried that the recovery won't be made a priority?
Derek Morgan: It's our job to find the leverage that ensures it is. Let's get it done.

[last lines]
Aaron Hotchner: Emily, how much longer do we have you?
Emily Prentiss: Um, six hours.
Penelope Garcia: It's too soon.
David Rossi: It's more than we had yesterday.
Penelope Garcia: Yeah.
Alex Blake: I'm just glad I finally got to meet you. I've heard such amazing things.
Emily Prentiss: All lies.
Jennifer Jareau: No. No more lies. Nothing but the truth from now on.
Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Yeah?

"Criminal Minds: Fatal (#9.22)" (2014)
David Rossi: [Entering Hotch's office] As my dear mother used to say, a penny for your thoughts.
Aaron Hotchner: Hey. Jack asked me to speak to his class about being an FBI agent. They're having career day.
David Rossi: Sounds like fun. Come on, every day you strap on the six-shooter and go after the bad guys. The kids'll love it.
Aaron Hotchner: Oh, I know. and I'm glad he asked. It just, I'm a little worried about it because I don't want it to end up being difficult for him.
David Rossi: Because of what happened to Hailey.
Aaron Hotchner: One of the bad guys killed his mom. And he's doing fine and we talk about it some, but I just don't want this to end up hurting him.
David Rossi: You're a good dad, Aaron. And I know you're doing everything you can to help him. And I also know you'll make the right decision about this, whatever it is.
Aaron Hotchner: Thanks

David Rossi: [closing quote] "A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it" - Jean de La Fontaine

"Criminal Minds: 3rd Life (#3.12)" (2008)
David Rossi: I have interviewed hundreds of killers. All types of crazy motives for doing what they did. They all share one thing in common, all of them: it's in their eyes!
Aaron Hotchner: 'Till what they hold most precious is gone... and then they're lost. Just like the rest of us.

"Criminal Minds: Devil's Backbone (#11.21)" (2016)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Standing in front of a screen which displays the letter] I thought that Antiona had written the initials CH in my hand. What she actually wrote was C++, which is a programming language that uses hexadecimals codes, or base-16. Now, that means that the unsub is most likely a programmer or at least someone who works with computers. Anyway, using an ASCII chart, you can translate between hexadecimal code and characters equivalents, but the interesting thing is the entire letter isn't the message. The actual message is hidden in a single sentence that is indicated by the number underlined in the date Reid: Rossi: Reid:
Jennifer Jareau: So, the forth sentence
Dr. Spencer Reid: Exactly. "When I think that proof alone will never beat faulty logic, I bleed twice". Now if you count the letters in each word, you get hexadecimal code
[hex characters on screen are: 41 54 4F 4E 45 46 4C 4D 4E]
Dr. Spencer Reid: which can be translated into characters
David Rossi: Kid, just tell us what it says
Dr. Spencer Reid: [Letters read: ATONE FL MN] Atone full moon

"Criminal Minds: The Boys of Sudworth Place (#10.8)" (2014)
David Rossi: Well, at least we know that one of the unsubs is a football fan
Kate Callahan: Him and 636,479 other people in the city!
[Rossi frowns at Kate]
Kate Callahan: What?
David Rossi: Not you too?
Kate Callahan: I googled it
David Rossi: Ah!

"Criminal Minds: Reflection of Desire (#6.8)" (2010)
Aaron Hotchner: I sent Morgan and Prentiss.
David Rossi: Only one victim?
Aaron Hotchner: It's what he did to her that concerns me. Morgan sent these, also late last night. He and Prentiss are waiting in the district.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The body seems posed. Left arm raised. Oh, that's first. I see your concern.
Penelope Garcia: What?
Dr. Spencer Reid: A photo wasn't all he took.
Penelope Garcia: Reid, what?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Her lips have been removed.
Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God.
David Rossi: Maybe a trophy.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe he ate them?
Penelope Garcia: Okay, now I have that memory burned in my mind for the rest of my life.
Dr. Spencer Reid: You asked.

"Criminal Minds: Corazon (#6.12)" (2011)
Penelope Garcia: Attention, intrepid BAU adventurers. The land of Bermuda shorts, white leisure suits, and Sansabelt slacks requests your presence.
David Rossi: Vegas?
Derek Morgan: Arizona?
Emily Prentiss: Palm Springs?
Aaron Hotchner: Please.
Penelope Garcia: I was going to say Miami, but point well made about the dizzying number of locales with unfortunate fashion tendencies. Here we go.

"Criminal Minds: Rock Creek Park (#10.18)" (2015)
Agent Adam Fuchs: Well, here's what we know: these low level guys often do freelance work to pad their income. You need someone for an unsavory job, this is who you call
David Rossi: 1-800-thug
Agent Adam Fuchs: Yeah, pretty much

"Criminal Minds: The Edge of Winter (#9.19)" (2014)
Derek Morgan: I'm more concerned about the MO. Is this peakeristic or flat out sadist?
David Rossi: Could be a combo platter with a side order of *psycho.*

"Criminal Minds: Hell's Kitchen (#12.18)" (2017)
Dr. Spencer Reid: No one in here is honest
David Rossi: They could just be numb to be it all
Dr. Spencer Reid: Well, I'm not
David Rossi: You never will be, because you're a good person. That's the difference

"Criminal Minds: Soul Mates (#4.12)" (2009)
Detective Linden: [in reference to Reid] Where'd you find this kid?
David Rossi: He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI.

"Criminal Minds: Zugzwang (#8.12)" (2013)
Dr. Lawrence Becker: Her last project on adenosine mono-phosphate, revolutionary stuff! Quite frankly, she makes connections before I could even see them
David Rossi: We know the feeling!

"Criminal Minds: 100 (#5.9)" (2009)
Erin Strauss: [Strauss is questioning Rossi] Once the team located George Foyet's potential apartment, why didn't the BAU enter immediately?
[Rossi is looking down at his cell phone and ignoring the question]
Erin Strauss: Agent Rossi?
David Rossi: [clearly disinterested] Hmmm?
Erin Strauss: I asked you a question.
David Rossi: [holds up his cell phone] Gold is still going up. But knowing when to get out, that's the trick.
Erin Strauss: [irritated, shutting off recorder] What are you doing?
David Rossi: [disgusted] What's the point of all this, Erin? Why?
Erin Strauss: So this never happens again.
David Rossi: [contemptuously] There is nothing a bureaucrat can do to make sure that "something like this" never happens again.
Erin Strauss: So we just wait for the next bloodbath?

"Criminal Minds: Cradle to Grave (#5.5)" (2009)
David Rossi: What's this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: It's the pattern I've been looking for. The unsubs hid their tracks with the mothers, but they weren't so careful with the abandoned babies.
David Rossi: Did you find more children?
Dr. Spencer Reid: DNA-wise, no, but deductively, yes. I gathered all the records for all infants who entered into foster care in a two week window following each mother's death. Then I narrowed it down to babies that were abandoned at churches. This is where the guesswork begins. Monica Winmar's daughter was abandoned at a Presbyterian church. Let's assume the unsub, or the wife at least, is Presbyterian. That means all other unwanted children are gonna be left at the same denomination, right? That narrows it down to three babies left at three different Presbyterian churches all within this twenty-mile radius. This is where they live.
David Rossi: These kids you deduced to... have you looked at their files?
Dr. Spencer Reid: No. Right now I've only been tracking churches. Why?
David Rossi: Because you just uncovered another pattern.
[cut to Hotch in New Mexico]
Aaron Hotchner: Yeah, we're packing up now. We can be in Phoenix in about two hours. Are you sure about this?
David Rossi: The names of the babies Reid found tells us everything. Lisa, Elizabeth, Amanda.
Aaron Hotchner: We profiled there'd be a type they'd keep and a type they'd put into foster care.
David Rossi: They're keeping the boys.

"Criminal Minds: Hope (#7.8)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, rethinking the type of offender he was seven years ago, it's possible the UnSub didn't sexually assault Hope initially but waited until she was older.
Emily Prentiss: Well, that would explain why he held on to her all this time. In his fantasy, he might envision Hope at a more desirable age.
David Rossi: What story did he use to get into the support group?
Jennifer Jareau: Well, he told them his pregnant wife committed suicide. Apparently they were trying to conceive for over a year.
David Rossi: Hope couldn't bear the thought of bringing his child into this world, so she took what little control she did have and ended her life.
Emily Prentiss: And that was never part of his plan. It turned his world upside down.
David Rossi: He's not ready to let go of the bond he had with Hope.
Dr. Spencer Reid: And now he's trying to get back what was taken from him.
Emily Prentiss: Wouldn't it just be easier for him to start over again?
David Rossi: Unless Monica could give him what he lost. Another Hope. He didn't take Monica to remind him of Hope, he took her to recreate her.

"Criminal Minds: The Crimson King (#12.1)" (2016)
David Rossi: [opening quote] "Anger's my meat, I sup on myself and so shall starve feeding" - William Shakespeare

"Criminal Minds: Blood Relations (#9.20)" (2014)
Alex Blake: Start shooting! Start shooting!
David Rossi: Where?
Alex Blake: Everywhere!

"Criminal Minds: Magnificent Light (#8.9)" (2012)
Jennifer Jareau: While we initially thought Barry Flynn might be a suspect, it turns out we're looking for one of his followers. An unsub who suffers from erotomania. He's obsessed with Flynn, his latest abductee, and he may believe that Flynn's also in love with him.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Erotomania has very little to do with sex. It's a romantic or spiritual connection that erotomanics crave. Victims of the delusion tend to be from a higher social status and have done very little to stimulate or encourage such a belief.
David Rossi: In fact, it's likely the unsub and Barry Flynn have had no previous contact. His infatuation probably began from afar, considering Flynn's celebrity status.
Alex Blake: The patience required to commit his crimes makes us believe he's a male in his late thirties to forties, who is single and socially immature. He's a loner with poor social skills.
Derek Morgan: And although he is capable of holding down a job, he most likely neglects his duties to focus on his obsession. This is a guy who spends much of his time living in his delusional fantasy world, and he may have been tracking Flynn for quite some time.
Aaron Hotchner: And with erotomania, the most likely recipient of violence is the person standing in the way of the desired object.
Alex Blake: It's possible the unsub witnessed an interaction between his two first victims and Flynn, killing them in a jealous rage.
Jennifer Jareau: Another possibility is that the unsub killed them to prove his devotion.
Dr. Spencer Reid: The weapon used had a ceremonial quality to it, which means the unsub probably views these victims as sacrifices, and the messages he is leaving may be meant for Flynn.
Derek Morgan: In his head, he may believe that he's already involved in a personal relationship with Flynn. And now that Flynn is under his control, the situation is especially precarious.
David Rossi: If the unsub is under the delusion that Flynn also cares about him, then any misstep by Flynn that contradicts that belief could lead to more victims, or even Flynn's own murder to prove they have a special bond.
Aaron Hotchner: And with each passing hour, it's increasingly unlikely that Flynn will be able to match the unsub's expectations for him, so we must act quickly. Thank you.

"Criminal Minds: The Job (#11.1)" (2015)
Penelope Garcia: But we're still down two profilers
David Rossi: Our five minds against his one, my money is still on us

"Criminal Minds: Compromising Positions (#6.4)" (2010)
Derek Morgan: Well, look at you, look at you.
Penelope Garcia: Meet your new communications liaison. Trial communications liaison.
David Rossi: Garcia, I don't get to say this often, but I had no idea there was this side of you.
Penelope Garcia: Well, I figured since I'm gonna have to interact with the mass populace, I should dress in the traditional costume of a mere mortal.
[Garcia widens her eyes]
Derek Morgan: What's wrong?
Penelope Garcia: It's my contact. It keeps getting weird and... There it goes... No. Yes. No.

"Criminal Minds: Mr. Scratch (#10.21)" (2015)
David Rossi: We need to get you looked at
Aaron Hotchner: I'm fine
David Rossi: Hey, this is not a suggestion!

"Criminal Minds: Devil's Night (#6.6)" (2010)
Emily Prentiss: [Reid is rambling about Halloween] All I did was ask what he was doing this weekend.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm toying with the notion of either going to the Edgar Allan Poe Shadow Puppet Theater or the reenactment of the 19th century Phantasmagoria.
David Rossi: I don't wanna know.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Oh, yeah, you do.

"Criminal Minds: Taboo (#12.3)" (2016)
David Rossi: So, you still like driving on the left side of the road?
Emily Prentiss: Yeah, London is good

"Criminal Minds: Entropy (#11.11)" (2016)
Jennifer Jareau: Welcome to the locker room
David Rossi: I hate the locker room!

"Criminal Minds: Retaliation (#5.11)" (2009)
Jennifer Jareau: There's been an accident. Emily's in the hospital, Bunting's dead.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Is she all right?
Jennifer Jareau: She has a concussion.
Aaron Hotchner: Is Morgan with her?
Jennifer Jareau: Yeah.
David Rossi: Where's Shrader?
Jennifer Jareau: Northbound in a truck.
David Rossi: A truck?
Jennifer Jareau: He has a partner.
David Rossi: What?
Aaron Hotchner: We need roadblocks, now.
David Rossi: Do we have a tag?
Jennifer Jareau: Uh, Emily remembered a partial.
David Rossi: Better than nothing.

"Criminal Minds: Our Darkest Hour (#5.23)" (2010)
Dr. Spencer Reid: Was she able to identify him?
Jennifer Jareau: She said he was white with mean eyes and repulsive breath
David Rossi: Rotten inside and out

"Criminal Minds: 25 to Life (#6.11)" (2010)
Erin Strauss: You want to arrest James Stanworth? Are you out of your mind?
Derek Morgan: He's got motive. Mary Rutka had a tape. She was blackmailing him.
Erin Strauss: It was a hooded figure. You can't prove it was him on that videotape.
David Rossi: He fits the profile, Erin.
Erin Strauss: Forgive me, but your profile sounds like a self-made man, not the psychopath you claim he is.
Derek Morgan: We said he'd be destructive. In 1998 alone, he fired 6,000 people from one of his companies. Some of those employees took their own lives. That is the type of power and devastation that he enjoys.
Erin Strauss: Hearsay. Slander if you're not careful.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, he got into politics to be hard on crime. He would have access to keep tabs on Don Sanderson.
Erin Strauss: And now you're sounding as paranoid as Don Sanderson. You cannot accuse a man without a shred of physical evidence.
Derek Morgan: Mary Rutka had skin under her nails. Maybe she left a mark.
Erin Strauss: And you cannot arrest a man based on the possibility of a scratch.
David Rossi: We can't arrest this man. That's what you mean. Don't pull any punches now, Erin.
Erin Strauss: You don't understand what the politics are, do you, Dave? You never have.
David Rossi: No, I do. I just don't care.
Derek Morgan: Ma'am, all due respect, but we have an innocent man in our custody, and the killer is still out there. It just might be James Stanworth.
Erin Strauss: You don't have enough proof. The BAU functions without you. Don't push it.

"Criminal Minds: Unforgettable (#12.20)" (2017)
David Rossi: [Late in the office] I thought you said "we should start fresh in the morning"
Emily Prentiss: So, what are you doing here?
Emily Prentiss: Same as you

"Criminal Minds: A Good Husband (#12.12)" (2017)
David Rossi: [opening quotation] "A good husband makes a good wife." - John Florio.

"Criminal Minds: Safe Haven (#6.5)" (2010)
David Rossi: Niko Bellic is the name of a main character in "Grand Theft Auto IV".
[the team looks surprised]
David Rossi: What? I know things.

"Criminal Minds: To Hell... And Back (#4.25)" (2009)
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: The rest of us will meet with the legal attaché before we hit the royal Canadian mounted police
Jennifer Jareau: Actually, sir, the officer in charge said that his team was part of a fellowship the BAU gave to train the police forces in profiling
David Rossi: Ah, that was the first one we ever did. Jeff Bedwell
Jennifer Jareau: You know him?
David Rossi: Yeah
Derek Morgan: Is he any good?
David Rossi: He better be! I trained him

"Criminal Minds: The Company (#7.20)" (2012)
Derek Morgan: I'm telling you, that's not the woman I know. She wouldn't do that.
David Rossi: Then, what is it, Derek? Why would she behave this way?
Derek Morgan: She said she needed to cook dinner for him.
[holding a can of ravioli]
Derek Morgan: Is that what you cook for your husband? Would you make that for Will?
Jennifer Jareau: No. I might for Henry, though.
Derek Morgan: Exactly. When I was growing up, this is what Cindi and I ate. This exact brand. Hotch, what did your mom make you for breakfast?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: What do you make for Jack?
Aaron Hotchner: Oatmeal and orange juice.
Derek Morgan: Same brand?
Aaron Hotchner: Uh-huh.
Derek Morgan: She might have been cooking dinner, but it was not for Malcolm Ford.
Emily Prentiss: You think they have a child?
Derek Morgan: Yes, I do.
Dr. Spencer Reid: We didn't profile that. There's no evidence of one in the home or in their lives.
Jennifer Jareau: Unless Ford keeps the child from her to keep her in line. I mean, that fits the profile.
David Rossi: It's a stretch.
Derek Morgan: It's the only theory that would explain her behavior.
Aaron Hotchner: All right, Morgan. Prove it.

"Criminal Minds: Coda (#6.16)" (2011)
Dr. Spencer Reid: [sees Sammy playing piano] Whoa. You've been holding out on me, Sammy.
David Rossi: I didn't know you could play, Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: I can't. Well, I never have before, but it's essentially all math.

"Criminal Minds: Scarecrow (#12.8)" (2016)
David Rossi: "Some things fall apart so that better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe.

"Criminal Minds: Haunted (#5.2)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: He's only had a month off, Rossi
David Rossi: Technically, 34 days
Derek Morgan: You think that's long enough?
David Rossi: You don't? Tell him
Derek Morgan: No thanks, I like my job!
David Rossi: You like him more

"Criminal Minds: Hopeless (#5.4)" (2009)
David Rossi: [walking the crime scene] Victim one gets dropped here.
Derek Morgan: While number two comes around the corner to see what's happening, and... the unsub attacks him here.
Emily Prentiss: [indicating the dinner table] The female victims were probably here when the first attack occurred.
Derek Morgan: Which means somebody would have to control them pretty quickly.
Emily Prentiss: How many unsubs are you thinking?
David Rossi: At least one to move the body inside, another one to take out man number two, and one more to subdue the others.
Emily Prentiss: Well, vandalism breeds a pack mentality.
Derek Morgan: If it is the same unsubs, then yeah, we're looking at a group of three, maybe four.
David Rossi: These aren't kids. They're too efficient. There's control and precision. Juveniles are sloppy.
Emily Prentiss: He's right. There is nothing tentative about these kills. There's no experimentation. These guys know what they're doing.
Derek Morgan: I don't know...
David Rossi: What are you thinking?
Derek Morgan: I can understand vandalism escalating into violence, but that's usually gradual. An assault, a single murder maybe, but come on, this? This feel fully evolved.

"Criminal Minds: Conflicted (#4.20)" (2009)
Derek Morgan: Where are we?
David Rossi: Honestly? Nowhere. We just watched our two most viable suspects walk out the door.
Emily Prentiss: If Adam isn't our unsub, he has all the makings to become one someday.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Reid?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Tell me the question that he spiked under in the polygraph.
Derek Morgan: It was a control question to set the baseline.
Dr. Spencer Reid: It was a geometric equation?
Derek Morgan: Reid, I really think he was just intimidated. He tried, he got it wrong, but he wasn't supposed to know the answer anyway.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if he lied? What if... what if he knew the answer to the question but intentionally got it wrong?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Why would he do that?
Dr. Spencer Reid: Because he realized that he wouldn't know that answer.
Derek Morgan: You're losing me, kid.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Adam said he wasn't getting any rest. He takes midday naps because he's always exhausted. He has a history of blackouts, reclusive behavior, prolonged repeated abuse suffered at the hands of a dominant male who transferred abuse from his female spouse to his prepubescent child.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Where are you going with this?
Dr. Spencer Reid: What if our ubsub couple isn't a couple at all?
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Dissociative identity disorder.
David Rossi: You think Adam's a multiple personality?
Emily Prentiss: Well, it fits. Recurrent physical abuse, knowledge he shouldn't have. We've seen this before.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Look at this. All right? The-the first intervention is timid. It's apprehensive, right? But then he gets knocked down... there's a moment of calm, and then his entire body language changes. I saw this exact same transformation when Adam left the station, only it wasn't rage, it was, uh... arrogance. Like... like the alter ego wanted me to know.
Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Why?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't know. Power, control. All I know is the person that stared me down over there was not Adam. He's not assertive like that. He doesn't make eye contact.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: So you think the stress of the interrogation blurred the line between Adam and his alter personality?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I think the unsub surfaced for just a moment. It-it-it knew the answer to the question, realized Adam wouldn't, and lied.

"Criminal Minds: Burn (#10.2)" (2014)
David Rossi: So where are Garcia and Morgan? Are they finally having that love child?
Derek Morgan: [walking in and tapping Rossi's shoulder] Heard that.
David Rossi: Busted!
Aaron Hotchner: Garcia is taking some personal time.
Jennifer Jareau: Is everything okay?
Kate Callahan: I hope it wasn't those burritos we had yesterday?
Aaron Hotchner: She's fine; Kevin Lynch will be presenting the case.

"Criminal Minds: Birthright (#3.11)" (2007)
David Rossi: I wanna show you something. I carry this wherever I go.
[Rossi hands Caulfield a bracelet with three names on it]
John Caulfield: Your kids?
David Rossi: Indianapolis, Christmas Eve. One of my first cases on the job. Three kids watched their parents get beaten to death. Every year, I call to tell them I haven't forgotten, I'm still looking.
[Rossi takes the bracelet back]
David Rossi: Last year, not one of them bothered to return my call.

"Criminal Minds: The Big Wheel (#4.22)" (2009)
Penelope Garcia: The video on this film is analog. It's since been digitized, but it is seriously degraded.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Meaning what?
Penelope Garcia: Meaning this kind of degradation only happens over at least a decade and thousands of repeating viewings.
David Rossi: It's the only way he can get any release.
Det. Lynne Henderson: Then you're right, he's been doing this for ten years.
Penelope Garcia: Uh... more like twenty. That woman in this video, she's wearing a sweater I haven't seen since "Flashdance".