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Quotes for
Hannibal Heyes (Character)
from "Alias Smith and Jones" (1971)

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"Alias Smith and Jones: Alias Smith and Jones (#1.1)" (1971)
Jed Kid Curry - Thaddeus Jones: Well, you know what we got here, Mr. Smith? We got ourselves a walk-off.
Hannibal Heyes - Joshua Smith: Don't get started.
Kane: Walk-off? I don't like that, mister. I don't even know what it means.
Jed Kid Curry - Thaddeus Jones: Well, then, I'm gonna tell ya. You see, when the good Lord was makin' men, He got a whole bunch of 'em all whomped up together and then He decided to knock off for the rest of the day, thinkin' He'd put the brains in later. But guess what happened? A whole bunch of them critters just upped and walked off 'fore he ever got back. And that's what we've got here. Walk-off.

Hannibal Heyes - Joshua Smith: What do you know about this?
[hands over amnesty poster]
Sheriff Lom Trevors: Amnesty? It's a program the governor's trying out to see if...
[laughs]
Sheriff Lom Trevors: You ain't thinking of amnesty for you two? That's for cheap crooks and grifters!
Hannibal Heyes - Joshua Smith: Can we help it if we're a bit better at what we do?
Jed Kid Curry - Thaddeus Jones: You can't tell me the governor's gonna penalize us for excellence!

Hannibal Heyes - Joshua Smith: Don't get proddy, Wheat.

Wheat: Don't move and don't holler, 'cause this is a stick-up.
[sees Heyes]
Wheat: What are you doing back there?
Hannibal Heyes - Joshua Smith: One thing I ain't doin' is gettin' robbed!

Sheriff Lom Trevors: [last lines, which became theme lines for show] You've been granted provisional amnesty. 'Course the governor can't come flat out and give you amnesty now without letting himself in for a lot of criticism. So first you got to prove you deserve it. 'Til then, only you, me, and the governor will know about it. It'll be our secret.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Secret?
Hannibal Heyes: For how long?
Sheriff Lom Trevors: Well, the governor figures a year. He figures if you can stay out of trouble for twelve months, you can do it forever. Then you got it! The whole thing - fresh start, clean bill of health. Amnesty!
Hannibal Heyes: So all we got to do is just stay out of trouble for one year?
Jed 'Kid' Curry: But we'll still be wanted. We'll still be blamed for everything that goes wrong!
Hannibal Heyes: We'll still be the same men we was before you talked to the governor!
Sheriff Lom Trevors: Well, that's true. But it's only for twelve months. You can do it, boys, I'm sure you can! Just like you stayed out of trouble for the last few days right here in Porterville. Now, that wasn't so hard, really, was it?


"Alias Smith and Jones: The McCreedy Feud (#3.3)" (1972)
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Heyes, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we just almost get ourselves killed twice so we could get to Santa Marta?
Hannibal Heyes: I gotta correct you, Kid, but you can't get killed twice. Once is the limit, even for us.

Hannibal Heyes: Kid, I think I know what that missin' ingredient is.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Brains?
Hannibal Heyes: Our gal Clementine.
[to horse]
Hannibal Heyes: Come on, giddyap!
Jed 'Kid' Curry: I still think the missing ingredient is brains!

Jed 'Kid' Curry: Heyes, you got a good head for figures.
Hannibal Heyes: Uh-huh. Of *all* kinds.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: How many times have I asked you what we're doing?
Hannibal Heyes: Too many times.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Well, that's a shame, 'cause I'm about to ask you again. What are we doin' here?
Hannibal Heyes: We got five hundred good reasons for bein' here here, Kid. You can count 'em yourself when we get finished.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah, well, I never saw a coffin yet that had pockets in it.


"Alias Smith and Jones: Bad Night in Big Butte (#2.23)" (1972)
[observing a beautiful woman at a funeral]
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Nooo, that can't be George.
Hannibal Heyes: Well, why not? Her father spent some hard years bein' in prison and all.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah, but his name wasn't Jenkins.
Hannibal Heyes: Could be an alias... I heard there are people that use 'em.

Jed 'Kid' Curry: What we've got for you is a straight 100% proposition.
Hannibal Heyes: That's right, George. We want to borrow $3000 from ya and give you half interest on the deal.
Georgette Sinclair: What kind of deal are we talking about here?
Hannibal Heyes: It'll be money in the bank.
Georgette Sinclair: My money *is* in a bank - and I'm not telling you which one.

Hannibal Heyes: We're going to have to renegotiate... maybe take half of what you get.
Georgette Sinclair: Why, you're thieves!
Hannibal Heyes: Please, George, not so loud. Somebody might take you seriously... and be right.


"Alias Smith and Jones: Wrong Train to Brimstone (#1.4)" (1971)
[Heyes and Curry are guarding a chest full of gold on a moving train]
Hannibal Heyes: [Picking the lock] You know Wheat and the boys are gonna hear about this.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah.
Hannibal Heyes: And you know that knot head'll come out of Devils Hole and make a try for it.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah.
Hannibal Heyes: [Opens up the lid] Oh, Oh, it's gold.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah.
Hannibal Heyes: It's, it's gold.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Aw Heyes, put it away.

Jed 'Kid' Curry: I'd sure be interested in hearin' how you know Heyes and Curry ma'am.
Sara Blaine: [Lets out a breath] Well it was a considerable experience I can tell you. One I shall never forget.
Hannibal Heyes: I had a feeling it might have been memorable. A pretty girl knowing hard case outlaws like that.
Sara Blaine: Why thank you.


"Alias Smith and Jones: The Man Who Murdered Himself (#1.10)" (1971)
Julia Finney: Are you saying I was pretending to be sick?
Hannibal Heyes: No, I'm saying the doctor said you were pretending to be sick.

Hank: How's Kid Curry?
Hannibal Heyes: Hank, I wish I knew.


"Alias Smith and Jones: The Man Who Broke the Bank at Red Gap (#2.17)" (1972)
[Powers' plan to frame Heyes and Curry for bank robbery backfires]
Jed 'Kid' Curry: You know, Heyes, one basic business principle old Chester E. Powers never learned.
Hannibal Heyes: *Crime doesn't pay*.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Nope. Never can involved in another man's game.

Hannibal Heyes: Will you shut up and let me scheme?


"Alias Smith and Jones: Which Way to the O.K. Corral? (#2.20)" (1972)
Jed 'Kid' Curry: We're going to Tombstone?
Hannibal Heyes: We can be there tomorrow.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Heyes, you know who the law is down there?
Hannibal Heyes: He doesn't know us!
Jed 'Kid' Curry: But our descriptions are hanging on his office wall. You want a man like that wondering who we are?
Hannibal Heyes: Kid, reputations are like shadows. They're usually a whole lot taller than the man they belong to. Why, five years from now, there won't be two people in the whole country who'll remember the marshal of Tombstone. What kind of name is that anyway? Earp.
Dispatcher: You two made up your minds? We got a schedule to keep.
Hannibal Heyes: Tombstone! Two.
[buys tickets]
Dispatcher: One way?
Jed 'Kid' Curry: It wouldn't surprise me.

Georgette Sinclair: There I was alone in Denver, not accomplishing a thing. So I decided to do something with my life.
Hannibal Heyes: In Tombstone?
Jed 'Kid' Curry: That's kind of a wide-open town, George.
Georgette Sinclair: I'm going to work in the Birdcage Saloon!
Jed 'Kid' Curry: George, you know how most saloon girls end up.
Georgette Sinclair: Fellas, I'm not going to Tombstone to work as a saloon girl... I'm going to become a chanteuse.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: A what?
Hannibal Heyes: [laughs] I don't know, Kid, but it don't sound good.


"Alias Smith and Jones: 21 Days to Tenstrike (#2.15)" (1972)
Gantry: You two robbed banks? Why?
Hannibal Heyes: That's where the money was kept.


"Alias Smith and Jones: A Fistful of Diamonds (#1.8)" (1971)
August Binford: Who are you?
Hannibal Heyes: Mr. Binford, don't you recognize your own descriptions? I'm Hannibal Heyes and he's Kid Curry.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: And we don't rob banks any more.
Hannibal Heyes: And when we were robbing banks, we didn't kill people. Now you've put us into terrible trouble, Mr. Binford. We were doing our best to get an amnesty and you tore it all apart.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: And we wanted that amnesty real bad.


"Alias Smith and Jones: Return to Devil's Hole (#1.7)" (1971)
Hannibal Heyes: Don't worry, outlaws never shoot ladies.
Clara Phillips: You mean they have a code of honor?
Hannibal Heyes: No, they have a shortage of ladies.


"Alias Smith and Jones: The Bounty Hunter (#2.12)" (1971)
Hannibal Heyes: Just tell me one thing. Why are you so all fired ornery?
Joe Sims: Nothin' I can do about that. Some black folks, ya know, figure they owe white folks a lotta harm fo rall what they done. I don't feel that way. I don't feel I owe 'em any harm. I don't feel I owe 'em anything else, either. I guess that's why I don't know nothin' about gratitude. It been taken outta me a long time ago.
Hannibal Heyes: That's sad, Joe. That's a sad way to be.
Joe Sims: I guess...


"Alias Smith and Jones: Exit from Wickenburg (#1.3)" (1971)
Mike: What'll you have, gentlemen?
Hannibal Heyes: Well, what have you got?
Mike: Well, we got real good whiskey and the regular.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: What's the difference?
Mike: The good whiskey comes in a clean glass.


"Alias Smith and Jones: What's in It for Mia? (#2.22)" (1972)
Jed 'Kid' Curry: We try to avoid violence at all times, not to mention anything illegal.
Hannibal Heyes: Sometimes shady, perhaps, but never illegal.


"Alias Smith and Jones: Dreadful Sorry Clementine (#2.10)" (1971)
Hannibal Heyes: Clem, you're the one who used to tell us, "Crime doesn't pay!"
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah, Clem, what happened to you?
Clementine Hale: I discovered greed.


"Alias Smith and Jones: What Happened at the XST? (#3.6)" (1972)
Hannibal Heyes: Kid, you ever notice anything strange about the snow in Wyoming?
Jed 'Kid' Curry: Yeah, I have Heyes...
Hannibal Heyes: You have what?
Jed 'Kid' Curry: I've noticed something strange about the snow in Wyoming. It doesn't melt. It just blows around till it wears out.


"Alias Smith and Jones: The Biggest Game in the West (#2.19)" (1972)
Jed 'Kid' Curry: How'd you do?
Hannibal Heyes: How'd I do? Kid, it was a poker game. That's like me asking you if some little old lady outdrew you.


"Alias Smith and Jones: Bushwack! (#3.5)" (1972)
Marty Alcott: Ordinarily, I wouldn't ask a question like this, but we're in business together. Like to tell me why bein' witnesses puts such a scare in ya? Well, I think I got it figured out. Either one of you Ben Thompson or Bill Longren? Hannibal Heyes, Wes Hardin? Kid Curry, Clay Allison?
Hannibal Heyes: You keep guessin', Marty, and we'll keep smilin'.


"Alias Smith and Jones: The Root of It All (#1.11)" (1971)
Leslie O'Hara: [while riding in a stagecoach] Oh, we came to look at the wild West.
Hannibal Heyes: I hate to disappoint you, but it's not like that any more. You couldn't be safer in your own backyard.
Jed 'Kid' Curry: I wouldn't say that Joshua. One morning three weeks ago, we were on a stage that was held up. By a band of very desperate men.
Margaret Chapman: You mean that could happen to us?
Hannibal Heyes: It could happen to you but not to us. Not twice in three weeks.
[gunshots are fired, the stage is robbed]


"Alias Smith and Jones: Everything Else You Can Steal (#2.13)" (1971)
Hannibal Heyes: I'm Smith. The Kid is Jones.
Blackjack Jenny: You mean it makes a difference?