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: Sir, I will stand no jesting with this lady's character!
: It's a good night to be abroad and looking for game.
: [Tom Jones has given a gift bird to the musically inclined Sophie Western, who has recently returned from France
] I doubt if an English bird can learn French songs, Miss Western.
: [after the hunt, Tom Jones, injured, lies on a bed with Honor and Sophie tending to him. He pretends to be asleep
] Look at him, ma'am. He's the most handsome man I ever saw in my life. Sophie Western
: Why, Honor! I do believe you're in love with him! Honor
: I assure you, ma'am, I'm not. Sophie Western
: If you were, I see no reason that you should be ashamed of it... for he certainly is a handsome fellow. Honor
: That he is. The most handsome man I ever saw in my life. And as you say, ma'am, I don't know why I should be ashamed of looking at him, even though he is my better. For gentle folk are but flesh and blood like other persons. I am an honest person's child, and my mother and father were married, which is more than some people can say as high as they hold their heads. Sophie Western
: [Shocked at her comments
] Honor! Honor
: [while Honor continues talking, Tom Jones shows signs of awakening from his feigned sleep
] My grandfather was a clergyman and he would have been very angry to have thought any of his family had taken up with Molly Seagrim's leavings... Why, ma'am, the young gentleman is awake. Sophie Western
: Yes, you've awakened him with your foolish chatter. Tom Jones
: I feel awake for the first time ever.
: [Mr. Allworthy, in his sickbed after his carriage accident has brought him to death's door, prepares to tell his will to assorted members of the household. Tom Jones weeps at his bedside
] Do not grieve, my dear nephew. Do not grieve. Tom Jones
: Sir, you cannot die! Squire Allworthy
: Death comes to us all, Tom. I've asked you here to tell you my will. Nephew Blifil, I leave you heir to my whole estate, with three exceptions. To you my dear Tom, I have given an estate of 800 pounds a year, together with a thousand pounds in ready money. I am convinced, my boy, that you have much goodness, generosity and honor in your nature. If you will add prudence, and religion, to these, you must be happy. One thousand pounds I leave to you, Mr. Thwackum, and a like sum to you, Mr. Square, which I am convinced exceeds your desires as well as your wants.
: [Drunkenly shouting the news of Mr. Allworthy's miraculous recovery from his carriage accident
] Mr. Allworthy has recovered! It's over! The fever's gone! He's sitting up. He's well again! The Squire's recovered! It's over! Narrator
: It's not true that drink changes a man's character. It can reveal it more clearly. The Squire's recovery brought joy to Tom, to his tutors, sheer disappointment.
: [Mr. Allworthy's recovery means Mr. Thwackum and others will not be receiving their expected inheritance. Apropos of this, Tom drunkenly taunts Mr. Thwackum with a song
] Sing, thick Thwackum, your bounty's flown. Mr. Thwackum
] You have good reason for your drunkenness, you beggarly bastard. He provided well enough for you. Tom Jones
: Do you think any such consideration could weigh with me? Damn you, Thwackum! Mr. Thwackum
: How dare you, sir! Tom Jones
: And damn me if I don't open another bottle.
[Tom laughs mockingly at Mr. Thwackum
] Tom Jones
: I shall sing you a ballad which I have entitled "Sing, Thick Thwackum, Thy Bounty has Flown." Tom Jones
: [Drunkenly proceeds to taunt Mr. Thwackum with a mocking song
] Sing, Thick Thwackum, thy bounty has flown. You lost all the money you thought that you'd own. Mr. Blifil
] Mr. Jones! This house is in mourning on account of the death of my dear mother. Tom Jones
: Forgive me! The joy of Mr. Allworthy's recovery... Mr. Blifil
: [Cutting him off
] I had the misfortune to know who my parents were. Consequently, I'm grieved by their loss. Tom Jones
: You rascal! You dare to insult me?
: Are you aimin' to slit my throat, squire? Tom Jones
: Would you like a sip of my wine? Molly Seagrim
: Hmm, I've never had a sip of the gentleman's wine before.
[She takes a swig from the bottle
] Molly Seagrim
: Hmm, it's very potent!
[Molly giggles, and Tom starts laughing hysterically
] Molly Seagrim
: What are you laughing at, Tom? Tom Jones
: I'm picturing Square in your bedroom!
: To those who find our hero's behavior startling, the answer is simple: Tom had always thought that any woman was better than none. While Molly felt that one man was quite as good as two.
: [awakens naked in Lady Bellaston's bed
] My Lady, I must apologize for this intrusion! Lady Bellaston
: Don't look so alarmed, Mr. Jones. I have rarely seen such a fine intrusion.