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Quotes for
Bunter (Character)
from "A Dorothy L. Sayers Mystery" (1987)

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"Five Red Herrings: Episode #1.1" (1975)
Bunter: Will we require a picnic hamper?
Lord Peter Wimsey: We shall, Bunter.
Bunter: Well, I procured a loaf still hot from the bakery and some fresh dairy butter. One hardly needs more. However, to paint the lily as it were, may I suggest some patie de fois de Strasburg, followed by some cold roast capers with a green salad, to be washed down by a bottle of Muscadet cooled in the very same-said Minnoch?
Lord Peter Wimsey: A suggestion of genius. Act on it instantly!

Lord Peter Wimsey: [catches a fish and puts it with another he caught earlier] What did I tell you, Bunter? That's two for lunch!
Bunter: [distracted, deadpan] Excellent, my lord...
Lord Peter Wimsey: Your enthusiasm overwhelms me.

"A Dorothy L. Sayers Mystery: Strong Poison: Episode Two (#1.2)" (1987)
Bunter: [to Peter] As you've so often said, my lord, when there's money, there's a motive for crime.

"Clouds of Witness: Episode #1.3" (1972)
Bunter: [to Lady Mary] I think your ladyship should take a drop of brandy. This is the 1800 Napoleon brandy, my lady.
[She is sniffling heavily]
Bunter: Oh, please don't snort so, and if I may make a suggestion, his lordship woud be greatly distressed if any of this is wasted. Did your lady dine on the way up?
[She doesn't respond]
Bunter: Most unwise, my lady, to undertake such a long journey on an empty interior. I shall prepare you an asparagus omelet.

"Five Red Herrings: Episode #1.3" (1975)
Lord Peter Wimsey: [Finishing up a meal prepared by Bunter] High tea rather than luncheon.
Bunter: [Entering the room] High tea, my lord?
Lord Peter Wimsey: [With understatement] A meal not to be despised, Bunter. True, you have served me a twaite meunere instead of a kipper and a bottlr of Poilly-Fume instead of a mug of tea, but the result, I assure you, was just as satisfying.
Bunter: Well, I'm very glad to hear it.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Yes, well, I was pulling your leg, old lad. I was ravenous, and at one epicurean stroke, you have appeased both glutton and gourmet.
Bunter: Thank you, my lord.

"Clouds of Witness: Episode #1.5" (1972)
Lord Peter Wimsey: What would you say, Bunter? A satisfactory conclusion?
Mervyn Bunter: Yes indeed, my lord. Satisfactory in almost every respect.
Lord Peter Wimsey: In what respect not satisfactory?
Mervyn Bunter: Something entirely personal to myself, my lord. There is a saying to the effect, "it is better to journey than to arrive."
Lord Peter Wimsey: Yes, I feel exactly the same. Only this time it's been a lot more exhausting than any I can remember. Too near home, I suppose.
Mervyn Bunter: My sentiments exactly, my lord.

"A Dorothy L. Sayers Mystery: Have His Carcase: Episode One (#1.4)" (1987)
Bunter: What the eye don't see the heart can't grieve for.

"Clouds of Witness: Episode #1.2" (1972)
Lord Peter Wimsey: Facts, Bunter, must have facts. When I was a small boy, I always hated facts. Thought they were nasty, hard things, all nobs.
Mervyn Bunter: Yes, my lord. My old mother always used to say...
Lord Peter Wimsey: Your mother, Bunter? Oh, I never knew you had one. I always thought you just sort of came along already-made, so it were. Oh, excuse me. How infernally rude of me. Beg pardon, I'm sure.
Mervyn Bunter: That's all right, my lord.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Thank you.
Mervyn Bunter: Yes indeed, I was one of seven.
Lord Peter Wimsey: That is pure invention, Bunter, I know better. You are unique. But you were going to tell me about your mater.
Mervyn Bunter: Oh yes, my lord. My old mother always used to say that facts are like cows. If you stare them in the face hard enough, and they generally run away.
Lord Peter Wimsey: By Jove, that's courageous, Bunter. What a splendid person she must be.
Mervyn Bunter: I think so, my lord.

Haunted Honeymoon (1940)
Lord Peter Wimsey: What seems to be the trouble?
Insp. Andrew Kirk: We're reconstructing the crime.
Lord Peter Wimsey: From the noise we heard upstairs you're obviously going on the theory that Mr Noakes was killed by a herd of buffalo.
Mervyn Bunter: I'm afraid it's my fault, mylord... Inspector was Noakes and I was the assassin...
Lord Peter Wimsey: Apparently one of great brutality.

"A Dorothy L. Sayers Mystery: Gaudy Night: Episode One (#1.8)" (1987)
Lord Peter Wimsey: This bowtie is a mess.
Bunter: Yes, too perfect. Quite like a made-up affair.
[Wimsey pulls off the tie and begins to re-tie it]
Bunter: Ah.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Bunter, what does "ah" mean?
Bunter: I have observed, my lord, that on the few occasions when our sangfroid slips, it means we have a rendezvous with Miss Vane.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Bunter, you have a wonderful gift for impudence.
Bunter: Thank you, my lord.
[Wimsey finishes re-tying]
Lord Peter Wimsey: Bunter, how's that?
Bunter: Perfect. That is to say, slightly flawed. The mark of a true gentleman.

"Five Red Herrings: Episode #1.4" (1975)
[last lines]
Bunter: How does your lordship foresee the outcome?
Lord Peter Wimsey: "Gentlemen of the Jury, you have heard evidence of the character of the deceased, of his habitual drunkenness and savage temper. You have heard how, on the day of his death, he drove a golf ball at almost point-blank range at the witness Jock Graham - an action which might well have had fatal consequences. You have heard how, in the presence of the Club Committee, he threatened the witnesses Strachan and Gowan with actual bodily harm if they chanced to cross his path again, and of how, on that same evening, he entered into a violent argument with the witness Michael Waters and threw whisky in his face, and fought him in the bar. And also of the far more monstrous attack on the person of Matthew Gowan - an act of unspeakable barbarity which must stir in every one of us the deepest revulsion - not to mention his most questionable advances toward the wife of the witness Hugh Farren. In the light of what you have heard, is there a single one of you who would dare to return a verdict of "guilty" against the accused, John Ferguson? I say with absolute confidence that there is not!" And of course they won't. It'll be self defense or justifiable homicide.
Bunter: I'm delighted to hear it, my lord.
Lord Peter Wimsey: So am I, Bunter. Ferguson's a good egg. It was his misfortune to suffer from a rotten neighbor!

"Five Red Herrings: Episode #1.2" (1975)
Lord Peter Wimsey: What's for lunch, Bunter? I am feeling uncommon ready for it.
Bunter: Just a simple stew, my lord. Shin of beef with onions, carrots, and dumplings.
Lord Peter Wimsey: I say sheer bliss.
Bunter: And equally hard to come by?
Lord Peter Wimsey: Hard to come by?
Bunter: Shin of beef, my lord, like sheer beef in these parts, equally hard to come by.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Now you do surprise me. I would have thought there were plenty of beeves in this part of the world with their fair share of shins.
Bunter: Your lordship is perfectly cowed, but the local term for shin of beef is "hough," and I had great difficulty in making myself understood.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Do you know I do believe that you're right.
Bunter: Would your lordhip like me to refer to the comestible as "hough" during our residence in this country?
Lord Peter Wimsey: Well, it would be a great concession to national feeling, Bunter, if you could bring yourself to do so.
Bunter: Right you are, my lord.

"The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club: Execution Day (#1.4)" (1973)
Bunter: [Speaking of Ann Dorland and her servants] They like her, sir, in spite of herself.
Det. Insp. Parker: Well, likeable people have committed murder before now,
Lord Peter Wimsey: Yes, but they like her in spite of herself. Do you see?
Det. Insp. Parker: No, I don't see.
Lord Peter Wimsey: Explain, Bunter.
Bunter: She's not likeable, sir, but they like her.