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Quotes for
Val Toriello (Character)
from "The Nanny" (1993)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Nanny: Sara's Parents (#6.4)" (1998)
Fran Sheffield: Ma, I'm having a crisis, why don't you have anything sweet in the house?
Sylvia Fine: I threw it all out. According to my weight chart, I should be 7 foot 1.
Val Toriello: Why don't you try to solve your problems the way normal people do? Without food.
Fran Sheffield: [looks at Sylvia] You wanna try it?

Sylvia Fine: His in-laws have money, when you have that much, you can find out anything about anybody.
Fran Sheffield: Oh my God, what could they find out about me, Val? I did a lot of stupid things, does that mean I remember them all?
Val Toriello: Well you did spend a night in jail, but they let you go once you proved it was just powdered sugar on your nostril.
Fran Sheffield: Oh yeah.
Val Toriello: And in high school you spent a lot of time in the principal's office, does that really mean you're responsible for his divorce?
Fran Sheffield: That's enough, Val.
Val Toriello: And remember the time you went to Alcapulco?
Sylvia Fine: When were you in Alcapulco?
Fran Sheffield: She means the restaurant, remember Ma, you sold the dip?
Sylvia Fine: Oh yeah.

"The Nanny: No Muse Is Good Muse (#4.22)" (1997)
Val Toriello: Fran you're never going to believe what happened to me, someone took my tokens, stole my purse... it's like I'm cursed!
Tasha: [singing] Someone took my tokens, stole my purse, it's like I'm cursed!

"The Nanny: Personal Business (#1.8)" (1993)
Val Toriello: [about Fran's walk-in closet] Ah, what a walk-in! If it had a bathroom, you could sublet.
Fran Fine: Did you smell the padded potpourri hangers?
Val Toriello: Please, I had to take an antihistamine.

"The Nanny: Hurricane Fran (#4.11)" (1996)
Fran Fine: [their hotel room is ransacked by the storm] Oh my God, Val, we're gonna die!
Val Toriello: Shouldn't our lives be flashing before our eyes?
Fran Fine: Val, we're over 30, single and in bed with each other, WHAT lives?

"The Nanny: Danny's Dead and Who's Got the Will? (#4.12)" (1997)
[after she dropped her sandwich in the coffin]
Fran Fine: My watch is caught on his zipper. Cover for me!
[a woman walks up]
Val Toriello: [to the approaching woman] Her watch is caught on his zipper.
Fran Fine: [woman walks away] You know, you are the Rain Man without the math skills!

"The Nanny: The Two Mrs. Sheffields (#3.9)" (1995)
Fran Fine: I can't marry someone under false pretenses!
Val Toriello: Really? Boy. You think you know a person.

"The Nanny: Fransom (#5.4)" (1997)
Fran Fine: [to Val, while trying to determine the whereabouts of the missing Chester] Where in New York does an ice cream truck play a Barbra Streisand ballad?
Fran Fine, Val Toriello: Greenwich Village!

"The Nanny: Smoke Gets in Your Lies (#1.1)" (1993)
[the doorbell rings at the Sheffield mansion]
Fran Fine: Oh, that's Val. You know, it's her first time to the mansion and she's my best friend, so I just want her to drop dead.
Niles: How thoughtful. I'll leave, you pose.
[as Niles gets and opens the door, Fran strikes a pose for Val]
Val Toriello: [with a look of amazement on her face as she enters the mansion] I'm droppin' dead.
Niles: [to Fran] Mission accomplished.

"The Nanny: The Party's Over (#3.8)" (1995)
Fran Fine: [about Fran's lawyer uncle] He's strictly pro bono.
Val Toriello: Really? Well I'm glad he's not representing me because I'm pro-Cher.

"The Nanny: The Producers (#6.16)" (1999)
Val Toriello: Would you care for a doughnut, Yetta?
Yetta Rosenberg: [looking at the platter of doughnuts] None of these have bones in 'em, do they?
Val Toriello: No!
Val Toriello: [rethinking her answer] The bear claws might.

"The Nanny: The Wedding (#5.22)" (1998)
Val Toriello: [Their car has broken down and they are on foot. To Sylvia:] You know, we've been walking for three hours, how cannot you be hungry?
Fran Fine: [Turns to Sylvia, suspicious. Calmly:] Ma, did you eat my edible underwears?
Sylvia Fine: [long pause] Maybe.
Fran Fine: Ma!
[slaps Sylvia on the arm]
Fran Fine: We were gonna ration my undies.
Sylvia Fine: [Voice goes up] I was nervous! You know I always eat when I'm nervous!
Fran Fine: [Agitated:] Nervous, happy, sad, swimming!

"The Nanny: The Nose Knows (#4.15)" (1997)
Val Toriello: Why can't I lose weight? Maybe I should see a therapist to help me stop eating. You know, it's the only thing I haven't tried besides diet and exercising.

"The Nanny: Fran's Gotta Have It (#4.26)" (1997)
Val Toriello: It's spring, Fran. Everyone gets a little hot and bothered. You know, the Discovery Channel says it affects all living orgasms.

"The Nanny: Fran-Lite (#2.1)" (1994)
[Fran and Val borrow a film line when discussing Maxwell.]
Fran: He's handsome. He's young. Alright, he's forty-two, but he's a nice man, a good catch. True?
Val: True.

"The Nanny: Christmas Episode (#1.7)" (1993)
Val Toriello: Are you hanging up stockings?
Fran Fine: No, I thought we'd use a pair of my Hanes because then we get doubles.

"The Nanny: Tattoo (#4.9)" (1996)
Val Toriello: Fran, I remember the tattoo being a lot higher on your tush.
Fran Fine: It was, Val!

"The Nanny: Where's Fran? (#3.16)" (1996)
Val Toriello: [about catching Maggie smoking] So, what are you going to do? Tell Mr. Sheffield?
Fran Fine: Oh, no. I could never betray Maggie's trust like that. Then she'd start telling on me.

"The Nanny: The Boca Story (#4.25)" (1997)
Fran Fine: [about Sylvia] Why is she the one that always gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling?
Val Toriello: 'Cause she don't wax her chin.

"The Nanny: From Flushing with Love (#5.10)" (1997)
Val Toriello: Well Fran, you know what they say...
[there is an extremely long pause]
Fran Fine: [anxiously] What, Val?
Val Toriello: No, really, *you* know what they say, Fran. You're far more the sophisticate than I.