Charlie Calvin
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Quotes for
Charlie Calvin (Character)
from The Santa Clause (1994)

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The Santa Clause (1994)
Scott Calvin: Here we are. Denny's. Always open.
Charlie: I don't wanna eat here.
Scott Calvin: What are you talking about? Everybody likes Denny's, it's an American institution.

Charlie: Neil doesn't believe in Santa
Scott: Well, Neil's head comes to a point.

Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
Charlie: That's okay, Neil. You were just denying your inner child.
Dr. Neil Miller: You're going to make a great psychiatrist someday, kid.
Charlie: Nah. I think that I'm going to go into the family business.

Bernard: What's all this boo-hooin' going on here?
[to Neil, who suddenly backs away from him]
Bernard: Hey, how are you doing?
Scott: Nothing, Bernard. I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie.
Bernard: What good-bye? Charlie, you've still got the glass ball I gave you, right?
Charlie: Yeah.
Bernard: Well, all you've got to do is shake it, whenever you want to see your dad. He can come back to visit you anytime, day or night.
Charlie: [his face lights up] Really?
Bernard: Hey, have I ever steered you wrong?

Charlie: Neil's a really good cook.
Scott Calvin: Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
Charlie: You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Scott Calvin: Charlie, I'm sorry, I was just kidding around around. Sure I like him. But there's just something about him that makes me want to -...
Charlie: Lash out irrationally?
Scott Calvin: Now, where did you hear that?
Charlie: From Neil. I learn a lot from him. He listens to me.
Scott Calvin: Yeah! And he charges you for it.

Charlie: Whoa, Dad! You're flying!
Scott Calvin: It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s.

Charlie: These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?
Scott Calvin: I hope not. These are... A gift. Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas.

Neil: What about Santa's reindeer? Have you even seen a reindeer fly?
Charlie: Yes.
Neil: Well, I haven't.
Charlie: Have you ever seen a million dollars?
Neil: No.
Charlie: Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean is doesn't exist.

Charlie: Dad?
Scott Calvin: What is it, Charlie?
Charlie: Maybe you better leave some milk and cookies out, just in case. Okay?
Scott Calvin: Great. I'll just go pre-heat the oven.
Charlie: And don't forget the fire extinguisher!
Scott Calvin: Good night, Charlie!

Charlie: You said you believe in Santa Claus, right, Dad?
Scott Calvin: I did? I do!

Bernard: I'll ship the list to your house.
Scott Calvin: What list?
Bernard: You know, the list.
[sings quietly]
Charlie: [singing loudly] Checkin' it twice!
Elves: Gonna find out who's naughty or nice!
[Bernard groans]

Charlie: Get the bag of toys.
Scott Calvin: And do what?
Charlie: Go down the chimney.
Scott Calvin: Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?

Charlie: [after Santa has fallen off of the roof] Look, Dad, he disappeared.
Scott Calvin: [looks around] He's naked somewhere.

Charlie: It's Santa! You killed him!
Scott: Did not! And he's not Santa!
Charlie: Well, he was...

Charlie: [about Neil] I learn a lot from him. He listens to me.
Scott Calvin: Yeah, then he charges you for it.

Charlie: Woa, how did you do that? How did that feel Dad?
Scott Calvin: It felt like America's Most Wanted.

Scott Calvin: [he bag lifts him up] Hey, hey, HEY, wait, there is no chimminy here okay, no chimminy.
Charlie: Lookin good Dad.
Scott Calvin: [hovers over a thin pipe] You have got to be kidding me.

Scott Calvin: Whoa! This could be a really long night.
Charlie: Do it again Dad, please?
Scott Calvin: [picks up the bag] I can't the things empty
Scott Calvin: [Comet the reindeer gets angry and growls] There nothing in the bag. Even if there was, did you notice there is no chimney? Where there's no chimney, there's no fireplace.
Scott Calvin: [Comet growls] Are you growling at me?
Scott Calvin: [Comet nods his head] Look, comet, like I said there is nothing left...

Charlie: My dad is Santa Claus.

Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?
Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.

Scott Calvin: Reindeer up on the roof... Santa suit laying on the ground... Guy fell... not my fault... Reindeer on the roof... THAT is hard to explain...
Charlie: It's the ladder.
[Scott turns and bumps into the ladder]
Scott Calvin: [referring to ladder] Where the hell this come from?

Charlie: [to his father, Scott] I'm fine, Dad. Think about those kids! You're Santa! We were up in the North Pole!
Scott Calvin: Charile... I don't know.
Charlie: What do you mean you don't know?
Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie... listen...
Charlie: YOU listen! You think you know what he is... You *DON'T*!
Laura: Charlie... You're confused.
Charlie: I know exactly who he is.
Dr. Neil Miller: [firmly] Charile... HE is NOT Santa!
Charlie: [whining; desperate] HE IS TOO SANTA! We went up to the North Pole. I saw it! We met the Head Elf, Bernard. He knew everything!
[turns to Scott]
Charlie: Right Dad?
Scott Calvin: [Scott looks unsure]
Charlie: [tossing him the snow globe Bernard gave him] REMEMBER!

The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
Charlie: Seeing isn't believing; believing is seeing.