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Quotes for
Hoop (Character)
from "Stroker and Hoop" (2004)

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"Stroker and Hoop: XXX Wife (#1.5)" (2005)
Hoop: Stroker and Hoop, back in action, going down on you!
Areola: [revealing her hypnotic breasts] Look into my nipples look into my nipples not AROUND the nipples but IN the nipples, good...
John Strockmeyer: Don't look at her - breasts, Hoop! She can't hypnotize us if we don't look...
Areola: Look! Look at them bouncing, you like it, look at them jiggling, you love it! You can't not look!
John Strockmeyer: Yes... I can! Shake 'em all day for I care!
Areola: Perky brea-ests! You love 'em!
John Strockmeyer: No, it's over! Once we land, we're calling the cops and bringin'... you two... to justice!
John Strockmeyer: [cuts to Stroke at home in bed, in his underwear; he's obviously failed to resist] Aw, crap! Damn it!


"Stroker and Hoop: I Saw Stroker Killing Santa (#1.10)" (2005)
Hoop: Stroker, didn't you learn anything about the spirit of Christmas? Now I want you to go grab your son, go buy the biggest goose in town.
Stroker: Where the hell am I supposed to find a goose?
Hoop: Good question.
[Pan across a turkey farm]
Narrator: And that, my friends, is the story of how Stroker saved Christmas. Now, it took old Stroker a few years to get over losing the lottery, and then figure out this was a happy ending. But that's the funny thing about happy endings. They're not about getting richer.
[We finally find out who the narrator is: a talking turkey]
Narrator: They're about growing older, and getting to share another year with the ones you love.
[a man approaches and grabs the poor turkey around the neck]
Narrator: Wait! What the hell? No! No, I want to live! Dear God! Please, don't kill me!
[He is dragged offscreen]
Narrator: Nooooo!
[He is killed by the farmer, likely to end up Stroker and Hoop's Christmas dinner]