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Quotes for
Ted (Character)
from Beethoven (1992)

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Beethoven's 2nd (1993)
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: So, can I get you a Coke?
Janie: Aren't I a little tall for you? I mean, aren't you a little short?
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: Well, height's just temporary. When you wake up in the morning, you're a little taller, right?
Janie: No. See ya.
[Janie leaves as Ted goes upset]

Brillo, Regina's ex-husband & Missy's owner: I've got good news.
George Newton: Yeah, what's that?
Brillo, Regina's ex-husband & Missy's owner: The judge threw out Regina's claim. That means I get Missy and Regina gets nothing.
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: That's great, Brillo.
Brillo, Regina's ex-husband & Missy's owner: I bought Missy over to see her children. Are they around?
George Newton: Sure I'll get them. Puppies! Puppies, your mother is here.
Emily Newton: Puppies! Oh, puppies!
[Missy's puppies come running down the stairs]

[the Newtons are having dinner, faint barking sounds are heard]
George Newton: Are those sounds coming from outside or in the basement?
Alice Newton, Ryce Newton, Emily, Ted a.k.a. Shorty: [quickly, in unison] Outside.
George Newton: [leaves the table] I-I think I'm hearing something from the basement.
[George walks down the basement, the light switch is heard turned on]
George Newton: OH, NO!
Alice Newton: Roll, anyone?

[the Newton family search for the puppies]
Emily Newton: Look!
[the family stops]
Emily Newton: Puppy poops.
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: If it's warm, that means we're close! Touch it.
Emily Newton: No, YOU touch it.
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: No, I'm not gonna touch it; you're gonna touch it.
Ryce Newton: I'll touch it.
[Ryce slowly puts her fingers down to the object, Emily winces]
Ryce Newton: [in disgust] It's warm.
George Newton: Okay, good! They're close. Better wash your hands.

[first lines]
Emily: [gives Beethoven a piece of pork] Here, Beethoven.
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: [gives him a slightly bigger slice] Here, boy. Here's a special treat.
Alice Newton: [shows him a roasted chicken] Here, Beethoven. This is from all of us.
George Newton: Beethoven...
[holds up a giant steak]
George Newton: I want you to have this!
[George approaches to Beethoven]
Ryce Newton: Mom, we're out of toilet paper!
Alice Newton: Here!
[a roll of toilet paper wakes up Beethoven from his dream]

Bully at Fair: Do you wanna get your face crushed, shrimp?
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: Last one, I promise.
[to Beethoven]
Ted a.k.a. Shorty: Beethoven, Bite this guy in the Weiner.
[Beethoven barks and growls, causing the bully to run]


Beethoven (1992)
Ted Newton: Do you have any kids?
Brie: We have a career.

Ted Newton: Sic' them, boy!