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: Any kind of weirdness and Beethoven is gone! Alice Newton
: Weirdness? What should I watch for, hon? Wearin' my clothes around the house?
: I don't think words for parts of the body make very good names. Emily Newton
: He's got one of those, I looked. Alice Newton
: I'm sure he does but I don't think Daddy would want to stand on the porch at night yelling that out. Emily Newton
: But that's what you call Uncle Richard.
: Just change your pants, George. George Newton
: I'm gonna change my pants, Alice. But if I change my pants, I gotta change my jacket! If I change my jacket, I gotta change my shirt! If I change my shirt, I gotta change my tie! I hafta change my belt! I gotta change my shoes! I gotta change my socks! Alice Newton
: Just change your pants, George.
[George throws his pants down to Alice
: Oh I just love these big dumb animals! Alice Newton
: I bet you do.
: [after Alice has fired Devonia for not watching all of the kids
] Honey, it was an accident! Alice
: So what? George
: We can't throw out the option of having a babysitter just because we had a bad one. We'll find somebody really responsible to look after the kids. Alice
: Over my dead body.
: I really don't like our dog. Alice
: I really don't like those people, George. I don't trust them. I don't want their money. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm not interested in expanding. If I had been home instead of helping you impress those morons, Emily wouldn't have fallen in the pool. And I'm not re-entering the work force, George. You're gonna have to do this on your own. And you will. Somehow, you'll make your fortune. And tucked away behind you deep in the shadows will be me and the kids. George
: That's how you see me. Suddenly, I'm a lousy husband and father. Everything was just fine until Beethoven came into our lives. I've tried to be patient, but I've had it. The dog has to go. Alice
: I'm proud of Beethoven. Those two idiots insulted your kids, they treated me like dirt, and he was the only one of us who had the nerve to give them the ride they deserved. I'm going to bed.
[she heads back inside
: My dream's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dog. Alice
: Your family's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dream.
: If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline. Alice Newton
: What these children need is their mother. You're fired.
: Honey, I've been thinking. You been thinking? Alice Newton
: Uh-huh. George Newton
: What have you been thinking? Alice Newton
: I've been thinking, "What do you think?"
: I just got off the phone with Miss Anderson. You wanna tell me what's going on? Ryce Newton
: I can't. Alice Newton
: You can't? Oh, honey, yes you can. We've always been very honest with each other. What, are you skipping school to spend time with boys? 'Cause if you are, there was a time in my life ... Ryce Newton
: No, mom, no. I'm not using drugs and I'm not pregnant. Alice Newton
: Well, what's goin' on, honey? Ryce Newton
: Ted, Emily, and I have been hiding four puppies in the basement. George Newton
] Honey, I'm home! Alice Newton
: Don't tell your dad.
[the Newtons are having dinner, faint barking sounds are heard
] George Newton
: Are those sounds coming from outside or in the basement? Alice Newton
, Ryce Newton
, Ted a.k.a. Shorty
: [quickly, in unison
] Outside. George Newton
: [leaves the table
] I-I think I'm hearing something from the basement.
[George walks down the basement, the light switch is heard turned on
] George Newton
: OH, NO! Alice Newton
: Roll, anyone?
[Regina and Floyd fall into a pool of mud from Beethoven
] George Newton
: Hold on! Regina
: Ugh, shut up! And don't do us any favors! Take your stinkin' puppies and stuff it! Floyd
: Yeah, stuff it! Regina
: Shut up! Alice Newton
: We're going to help you and it will be alright! Regina
: [to Floyd
] You idiot! Floyd
: What, me? This whole dog business was YOUR idea! Regina
: My idea?
[the dam comes apart spilling mud and Regina and Floyd into the raging river
: [to Floyd
] I HATE YOU! Floyd
: You stupid! You got me into this! It's all your fault! Regina
: No, it's not! Floyd
: I didn't even care about those dogs! Regina
: Let go of me! Alice Newton
: [to George
] Well... ya hungry?