Quotes for
Bleeding Gums Murphy (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

"The Simpsons: Moaning Lisa (#1.6)" (1990)

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: My friends call me Bleeding Gums.
Lisa: Eww, how'd you get a name like that?
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist?
Lisa: Yeah.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Not me. I suppose I should go to one. But I've got enough pain in my life as it is.

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it.

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: You know, you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.

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"The Simpsons: 'Round Springfield (#6.22)" (1995)

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Then there was the time I guest-starred on "The Cosby Show".
Cliff Huxtable: Kids, this is your Grandpa Murphy.
Rudy Huxtable: But we've got three grandpas already.
Cliff Huxtable: This one's the famous jazz musician.
Rudy Huxtable: Ah, they all are.
Cliff Huxtable: Oh,oh-oh! You see, the kids these days, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin', they don't know what the jazz is all about. Y'see, jazz is like Jello pudding... no, that's not it. Jazz is like Kodak film... no, that's not right neither. I've got it, jazz is like the new Coke - it'll be around forever.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Sigh.

Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: I've been playing the saxophone for 30 years. I want you to have it.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: This isn't a saxophone. It's an umbrella.
Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: So I've been playing the umbrella for 30 years? Why didn't anyone ever tell me?
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: 'Cause we all thought it was funny.
Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: That's not funny.

Lisa Simpson: My brother just had his appendix removed.
Bleedin' Gums Murphy: Oh? And how's he doing?
Bart Simpson: [mooning them with a smiley face drawn on his butt and a stethoscope on his hips] Hey there. I'm Dr. Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds right now and uh, I'm a little behind.
Lisa Simpson: [unimpressed] He'll be fine.

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