Quotes for
Po (Character)
from Kung Fu Panda (2008)

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

[last lines]
Po: You wanna get something to eat?
Shifu: [sighing] ... Yeah.

Po: [serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is... sharp!

Po: Skadoosh!

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Tai Lung: You can't defeat me! You... you're just a big... fat... panda!
[He throws a weak punch, Po catches his hand by the finger]
Po: I'm not a big fat panda. I'm THE big fat panda.

Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!

[first lines]
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Po: He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: Then I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. It's gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

Po: The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born read...
[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]
Viper: I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po: That was awesome! Let's go again!

Po: Ow! I thought you said acupuncture was going to make me feel better.
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy to find the right nerve points under all this...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! This fat butt-
[he whacks Po on his butt]
Po: Aah!
Shifu: ...Flabby arms-
[he hits Po on his arm]
Po: Those are sensitive in the flabby parts...
Shifu: And this ridiculous belly!
Po: Hey!
Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po: Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for...
Shifu: Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath.
Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was-
[Shifu grabs his finger and he gasps]
Po: The Wuxi finger hold? No no, the Wuxi finger hold!
Shifu: Oh-hoho, you know this hold?
Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the 3rd dynasty, yes!
Shifu: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinkie?
Po: [gasps] No no no no!
Shifu: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.
[chuckles]
Po: Okay... Okay take it easy...
[Po falls to his knees]
Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?
Po: Oh, yeah! We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear!
Shifu: Good.
[chuckles]
Shifu: I can't wait to get started.

Oogway: [walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Oh! Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!

Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Shifu: Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!
Po: I know!

Shifu: [intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me!
[tries to run around Shifu]
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
[pokes Po in his stomach]
Po: You don't believe that!
[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]
Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
[Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don't know!
[sighs]
Shifu: I don't know.
Po: [sighs and frowns sadly] That's what I thought.

Po: No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!
Po: [whispering to the urn] Hello?
Shifu: [from behind Po] Have you finished sight-seeing?
Po: [stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn] Sorry, I should've come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.
Po: Oh, well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere.

Po: [looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace] Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway: Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

Po: [breathing heavily] I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you tell me where we're going?

Po: [after being hit in the crotch] Oh! My tenders!

Po: [checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung] Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: [coughs] Po, you're alive. Or we're both dead.
Po: No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung.
Shifu: You did?
[Po nods and smiles]
Shifu: Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.
[slowly lays his head back down, assumingly dead]
Po: [Po looks disbelievingly at the red panda] No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!
Shifu: I'm not dying, you idiot!
[he catches himself]
Shifu: Ah, Dragon Warrior, I am simply at peace.
[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]
Shifu: Finally.
Po: Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?
Shifu: If you can.

Shifu: [after having dragged Po up the mountain and said Panda is trying to cool down] Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Po: [quickly shakes his hand off] The Pool of-?
Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birth place of kung fu.
[Po is shocked, and it shows a glimpse of Oogway before Shifu jumps up to a giant rock]
Shifu: Do you want to learn kung fu?
Po: Yah!
Shifu: Then I *am* your master!
Po: Okay!
[sniffles]
Shifu: Don't cry.
Po: Okay.
[wipes his nose and smiles]

Po: [standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Monkey: [after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream] We should hang out.
Po: Agreed.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing!
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.
[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it]
Po: There is no secret ingredient...

Mr. Ping: [after Po told him he had dream about noodle] This is a sign, Po!
Po: Uh, a sign of what?
Mr. Ping: You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant just as I took it over from my father who took it over from his father who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong.

Po: But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?
Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.
Po: So why didn't you?
Mr. Ping: Oh, because it was a stupid dream; can you imagine *me* making tofu?
[laughs airily]
Mr. Ping: No: we all have our place in this world: mine is here, and yours is...
Po: I know: here.
Mr. Ping: [throws Po bowls of soup to catch] No, it's at tables two, five, seven and twelve. Service with a smile!

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Then perhaps you should chew... on my fist!
[smashes fist on table]
Po: [voice-over] The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. And then he swallowed...
[swallows]
Po: ...and then he spoke: "Enough talk, let's fight!"

Shifu: After you, Panda.
Po: What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
[Po picks up his chopsticks]
Shifu: Enjoy.
[Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away]
Po: Hey!
Shifu: I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.
[Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again]
Shifu: You-are-free-to-eat.
Po: Am I?
Shifu: Are you?

[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling]
Po: What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.
Po: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[imitating Shifu]
Po: You'll never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!
[everyone except Tigress laughs]
Po: What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and someday, you will have ears like mine.

[after completing his training]
Shifu: You have done well, Panda.
Po: Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome!
[Elbows Shifu]
Shifu: The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...
[elbows Po, causing him to stagger]
Shifu: ... awesome.
[They laugh]

Shifu: Let us begin.
Po: What? Uh... I don't think I can do all those moves right away.
Shifu: [chuckles] Well, we'll never know unless we try, will we?
Po: Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.
Shifu: And what level is that?
Po: Uh... level zero? How about that, level zero?
Shifu: [chuckles] There is no such thing as level zero.
Po: Well, what about that?
[He indicates a small dummy]
Shifu: That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it gets hot. But, if you insist...

Tai Lung: Finally... oh, yes... at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll shall be mine!
[He opens the scroll - and stares at it]
Tai Lung: It's... it's nothing!
Po: It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either.
Tai Lung: What?
Po: There is no secret ingredient. It's just you.

Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!
[bows over, panting from the stairs]
Tai Lung: [incredulous] You?
[laughs]
Tai Lung: He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don't tempt me.

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.
[Po frowns]
Shifu: But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is, with this.
[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]
Po: Oh great, 'cause I am hungry!
Shifu: [laughs and pulls the bowl away] Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.
[He eats a dumpling]
Shifu: Let us begin.

[Tai-Lung's nerve strikes are only tickling Po]
Po: [laughing] Stop! I'm gonna pee!

Po: What are you pointing at?
Oogway: The Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: Master, were you pointing at me?
Oogway: Him.
Po: Me?
[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]
Oogway: You.
Po: What?
Oogway: [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
Po: What?
Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?
Shifu: What?
Mr. Ping: What?

Crane: Look, you don't belong here.
Po: Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's just... All my life I have dreamed of...
Crane: I mean you don't belong here, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane.

Tigress: You don't belong here.
Po: Yeah, I know. Your room.
Tigress: No, I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for what we are and what we do, you'll be gone by morning.
[Closes door]
Po: [after awkward pause] Big fan.

Po: [after a long battle against Master Shifu, he allows Po to eat. Po tosses away the dumpling] I'm not hungry... Master.

Po: Yeah, ha-ha-ha!

Po: They're five MASTERS, and I'm just ONE me!
Shifu: But you will have the one thing no one else has!

Po: Do you truly believe I'm ready for this?
Shifu: You are... Po.

[Po gazes upon the Dragon Scroll and screams... ]
Po: It's blank!
Shifu: What?
Po: Here, look!
[Po holds out the scroll]
Shifu: No, I am forbidden to look upon...
[Sifu grabs the Scroll and looks for himself]
Shifu: But... I don't understand...

Po: Hey, guys...
Tigress: [bowing low before Po] Master.
[the rest of the Five follow suit]
Po: Master?... Master Shifu!

Mr. Ping: That's my boy! That beautiful kung-fu warrior is my son!
Po: Thanks, Dad.

---

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

Po: My fist hungers for justice!
[his stomach belches]
Po: That was... my fist.

[from trailer]
Po: Kung-fu staring contest! GO!
[stares at the viewer for 16 seconds]
Po: You guys look amazing, by the way...

Shifu: This could be the end of Kung Fu.
Po: But I just got Kung Fu !
Shifu: And now, you must *save* it !

Po: [stares up a long passage] Ah. My old enemy... stairs!

Po: The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
Po: Well thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying!
Shen: Who do you think you are, Panda?
Po: Who do you think I am, Peacock?
[both laugh for an extended time, each taking turns]
Po: Why are we laughing?

Shen: How did you find peace? I took away your parents, everything, I scarred you for life...
Po: See that's the thing, Shen, scars heal.
Shen: No they don't... *wounds* heal.
Po: Oh, yeah... what do scars do? They fade, I guess...
Shen: I don't care what scars do...!
Po: You should, Shen. You got to let go of the stuff from past - because it just doesn't matter! The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

Tigress: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water...
Po: This is nothing like that plan.
Tigress: How so?
Po: Because this one is gonna work.

Po: Shen knows what happened to my parents!
[pause]
Po: Look, I'm going. I've gotta know. The hardcore can't understand.
Tigress: [pauses, then lunges at Po]
Viper: Tigress, no!
Tigress: [instead she hugs Po] The hardcore *do* understand...
[She pulls away]
Tigress: But I can't watch my friend be killed.

Crane: So this is stealth mode?
Po: I mean, let's face it, not one of my stronger modes.

Po: How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

Monkey: [On seeing a poor person being mistreated by a wolf over cooking rice] Po, do something.
Po: How am I suppose to help her cook rice without getting caught?... Wait, I have a better idea!

Po: [from trailer] Shen! A panda stands between you and your-
[cut to Shen, who can barely hear Po say "destiny"]
Shen: WHAT?
[cut back to Po]
Po: Prepare yourself for a hot-
[cut again to Shen, who can still barely hear anything]
Shen: What?

Shen: The only reason you're still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
Po: Thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying.
Shen: Who do you think you are, panda?
Po: Who do "you" think I am, peacock?
Po: [Shen chuckles while Po chuckles as well. Then, they started to laugh] Why are we laughing?
[They stopped laughing]
Shen: Take aim.

Po: They must be close. I can feel a Kung Fu chill riding up my spine.
Viper: Sorry, Po. It's just me.

Shen: Are you willing to die to find the truth?
Po: You bet I am!... Although, I'd prefer not to.

Po: I threw up on the third flight of stairs, so you might want to clean that up. You guys got an evil janitor around here or something?

Po: Okay, Step One: Free the Five.
Viper: What's Step Two?
Po: Honestly, I didn't think I was gonna make it this far!

Monkey: At the first sign of trouble, I'll give you a signal. Ka-Ka! Kee-Kee!
Po: You mean like Crane does?
Monkey: Yeah.
Crane: Excuse me? When have I ever make that noise?

Po: [determined] I am Po... and I'm gonna need a hat.

Po: You! You're mine!
Wolf Boss: I'll tell you what's gonna be yours. My fist in your plush cuddly, super soft face!
[suddenly Monkey and Crane jump on the two wolf soldiers]
Wolf Boss: Uh-oh!
[he runs away]
Po: Get him!

Wolf Boss: [as they're fighting] Is that all you got? Cause it feels like I'm fighting a big old floppy cloud!
Po: Well this cloud is about bring a thunder!

Wolf Boss: [to Po as they are surrounded by wolf soldiers] Guess nobody told you, you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs!
Wolf Boss: [he hits Po in the stomach] I've hit you twice. What are you gonna do now?
Po: [he looks undefeated at Wolf Boss but then suddenly shouts] We surrender!

---

Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special (2010) (TV)

Po: [Opening line] Steel yourself against my steel, villain.
[Uses sword to chop an onion in half]
Po: Your reign of tears is over.

Po: This may be our greatest challenge yet.
Monkey: Bandits?
Viper: Raiders?
Po: No. Place settings.

Po: This is a disaster. I'm going to disappoint everyone. My dad, the Furious Five, Shifu...
Wo Hop: And me. I'm not dead yet.

Mr. Ping: Think of all those lonely people who don't have anyone to spend the holiday with. There's always room for one more at Mister Ping's
Po: Look, dad, I understand how you care for the lonely people...
Mr. Ping: And lonely people pay extra.

Po: Bunny! Finally, a real chef! Look, sorry I banished you and shamed your village for all eternity, but if you could help me chop carrots, it would really...
Wo Hop: I'm not here to chop carrots. I'm here to fight.
Po: What?
Wo Hop: The only way to restore honor to me and my village is to fight the Dragon Warrior. Surely I will perish, but that is the fate I must accept.

Po: I got that, dad.
Mr. Ping: Po? Oh, you came! Oh, Po, I'm... I'm sorry I made you feel so guilty.
Po: Ah, don't be. That's what the holiday's all about. Now, don't we have some cooking to do?

---

"Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness: Owl Be Back (#1.7)" (2011)

Po: You... you must be Fenghuang!
Fenghuang: Yes. And you must be 300 pounds.
Po: No. 290, tops.

Fenghuang: You're good, Panda. But you can't win.
Po: Why not?
Fenghuang: Because I cheat.

---

Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters (2011) (V)

[opening scene]
Po: [dark screen] Hurry, we're running out of time!
Mantis: Keep it down!
Tigress: Who's hand is that?
Mantis: I don't even have hands!
Po: Quiet! You'll compromise the mission!
Mantis: [inaudible] Does it look like I have hands?

---

Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five (2008) (V)

Po: I guess it's easier to laugh at someone than to have someone laugh at you, right?

---