Barbra Jean Booker Hart
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Quotes for
Barbra Jean Booker Hart (Character)
from "Reba" (2001)

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"Reba: The Cat's Meow (#3.8)" (2003)
Barbra Jean: Hey Kyra, how was school?
Kyra: Good- but I really missed you today.
[Hugs Barbra Jean]
Barbra Jean: Oh. I know you want something... but this is one fiddle that says, "Play Me."

Kyra: I'm not even sure my dad's really allergic to cats. He just doesn't want one. He told my mom once that he was allergic to minivans.
Barbra Jean: Oh, he is Kyra. We test drove one.

Barbra Jean: We'll keep her in the attic.
Barbra Jean: No, the cattic.
Barbra Jean: Oh that is a great place to hide a cat, in fact it's almost-
Barbra Jean: Say it. Come on, Kyra.
Kyra: Purrr-fect

"Reba: Who Killed Brock? (#4.16)" (2005)
Barbra Jean: Somebody took my Broq!
Reba: Funny, when I had to say that same thing, I wasn't quite as panicked.

"Reba: It Ain't Over till the Red-Head Sings (#1.22)" (2002)
[Van carries a laboring Cheyenne across the stage]
Mrs. Hodge: [hands the couple their diplomas] Congratulations, graduate.
Van Montgomery: We're having a baby! Whoo!
Reba Hart: [recording video] This is Cheyenne having a baby on Cheyenne and Van's graduation day.
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: [to Mrs. Hodge] Say 'Jesus'!
[snaps a picture]

"Reba: Don't Mess with Taxes (#5.13)" (2006)
Barbra Jean: You know how i've been doing all of our tax returns?
Reba: Yeah, what's the problem?
Barbra Jean: I'VE been doing all of our tax returns! here, take a look!
Reba: Well, right off the bat i'd say you should stop doing the "I *heart* the IRS" stuff. It makes you sound desperate.
Barbra Jean: I am desperate! Oh, Reba i'm goin down! I'm headed for the big house!
Reba: Oh, barbara jean.
Barbra Jean: Promise me Reba, if i get sent to prison you will do something to get sent to prison too! And then we'll break out like on that show! You're gonna have to get the layout of the prison tatooed on your body so you're gonna need to gain some weight! Oh, GOD!
Reba: Calm down!
Barbra Jean: Oh, I love how tough you are. When we're in prison, i'm so gonna be your girlfriend!
Reba: Barbara jean, they only send you to prison if you lie on these forms... not because you put glitter all over it!
Barbra Jean: I would never knowingly lie! it would be because i just made these mistakes because i don't know what i'm doing, right?
Reba: Yeah, you should plead dumb! trust me after they talk to you for awhile they'll let you off. Heck, they'll probably even pay for your ride home!
Barbra Jean: Even if we didn't go to prison i would SO still be your girlfriend!

"Reba: When Good Credit Goes Bad (#1.10)" (2002)
Reba: Hello?
[Barbra Jean crying indistinctly over phone]
Reba: You're kidding?
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: No!
[continues crying]
Reba: OK. All right, stop cryin'. I'll be there.
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: [crying] Hurry!

"Reba: Labor of Love (#1.19)" (2002)
Dr. Schmidt: No one's having a baby today.
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: Umm... I think my water broke.
Reba Hart: Oh, no! You're sitting on my purse!

"Reba: The Feud (#2.17)" (2003)
Barbra Jean: [To Brian about him and Reba being a couple.] I am so happy you two found each other, it used to be so awkward, 'Reba Hart, party of one!'
[Reba walks in]
Barbra Jean: And look at her, she's got that love glow
Reba: It's a fever sweat, Barbara Jean.
Barbra Jean: Oh yeah, a love fever
[puts her hand on Reba's forehead.]
Reba: I'll bite you.

"Reba: War and Peace (#3.2)" (2003)
Reba: Do you know what a teenager is?
Barbra Jean: A demon?
Reba: A bully. What I'm sayin is if they know you're scared, you're dead.
Barbra Jean: But I am scared.
Reba: Of course you're scared, you're dealin with a demon!

"Reba: It's Jake's Party, Cry If You Want To (#2.5)" (2002)
Barbra Jean: Aw, there's my Reba-Rooba-Roo!
Reba: [cheerfully] And if you all me that again and I'm gonna slap the blonde right off ya!

"Reba: Driving Miss Kyra (#4.19)" (2005)
[when Kyra is out five minutes late after getting her driver's license]
Barbra Jean: She's not picking up! Do you know what this means?
Reba: She has Caller ID?

"Reba: The Ghost and Mrs. Hart (#3.7)" (2003)
Reba: You can't be afraid of ghosts! You're brave! I've seen you eat raisenet off the sidewalk!
Barbra Jean: It was a Junior Mint and I caught it before it hit the ground! Besides what do you know about fear Miss I'm-Not-Afraid-Of-Anything?
Reba: Why does everybody say that I'm not afraid of anything?
Barbra Jean: Because you're not. You're not afraid of the dark or thunder or wearin' pink with red hair. Which is not wise but you do it. You're fearless Reba!
Reba: It's not that I'm fearless, it's just that I think believing in ghosts is silly!
Barbra Jean: Well, you wouldn't think it was so silly if the ghost was after you!
Reba: What are you talking about?
Barbra Jean: If I tell you,you're just gonna make fun of me.
Reba: Barbra Jean I'm already makin' fun of you.
Barbra Jean: Alright if you must know the ghost is after me because I'm a bad person.
Reba: What?
Barbra Jean: I stole your husband, I broke up your family and now I have a way better house than you do!
Reba: So the reason you're afraid of ghosts is because you think they're gonna punish you for what you did?
Barbra Jean: Yeah.
Reba: Oh Barbra Jean, if anybody's gonna punish you it's me! And I promise you, when I die I will haunt you! Every noise you hear, everytime you trip, every bad hair day it'll be me!
Barbra Jean: Oh Reba, don't try to make me feel better! It just makes it worse because this horrible thing that I've done that I can't undo
[starts to cry]
Barbra Jean: I did to my very best friend!
Reba: Barbra Jean, we're not best friends.
Reba: Barbra Jean things happen for a reason. Like maybe you're in my life because
[pauses and tries to think of a reason Barbra Jean is in her life]
Barbra Jean: Reba?
[Reba puts up her hand to quiet Barbra Jean while she tries to think]
Reba: [Thinks of something] I needed someone to ruin everything for me.
Barbra Jean: Well, yeah, I can see how that was helpful.
Reba: No, no, no, you know what maybe it was! I lived through my biggest fears. My husband left, Kyra moved out and things seemed to be just fallin' apart! You know, nothing gets scarier than that! But because of you I know that I can deal with anything now.
Barbra Jean: Wow
[Touches Reba's knee]
Barbra Jean: I wish I had the kind of courage brought on by a deep personal tragedy.
Reba: Well you married Brock, that's a start!
[Removes Barbra Jean's hand]

"Reba: The Blonde Leading the Blind (#5.18)" (2006)
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: [to a blind Reba] Since you can't watch TV, I thought that for entertainment, I could read to you.
Reba Hart: Read? Why, just to prove you can?
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: I chose a classic, "Oliver Twist". Let's see...
[flipping through the pages]
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: Boring, boring, boring, blah, blah, blah, orphan, orphan, orphan. Ah, OK, here we go.
[in an English accent]
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: Please sir, I want some more.
[in a deep, distorted, whale-like voice]
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: More?
Reba Hart: Are you still reading or did you just pass gas?

"Reba: No Good Deed (#5.5)" (2005)
Barbra Jean: I see. Is it because we're black?
Reba: Barbra Jean you're white, you're the whitest person in Texas.

"Reba: Vanny Dearest (#1.16)" (2002)
Barbra Jean: [a poem Barbra Jean wrote for Reba] Reba's hair is red, Violets are blue, If Brock ever left me, I'd marry you.

"Reba: The Best and the Blondest (#3.3)" (2003)
Reba Hart: What were you thinking, you boneheads? Oh, excuse me, 'Dr.' Boneheads?
Barbra Jean Booker Hart: Reba, I'm not a doctor.

"Reba: Meet the Parents (#1.11)" (2002)
Brock Hart: I'm guessing your parents aren't too happy with me.
Barbra Jean: Why?