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Quotes for
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran (Character)
from "Wings" (1990)

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"Wings: A Terminal Christmas (#2.11)" (1990)
Lowell Mather: [singing] I'll be Joan for Christmas...
Roy Biggins: Why is it whenever he's around I hear dueling banjos?
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: George used to sing that song to me.
Brian Michael Hackett: There's words to that song? I thought it was just banjos.

Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Lowell, give me the dust buster!


"Wings: As Fate Would Have It (#3.22)" (1992)
Lowell Mather: The plane's available thanks to that bachelor party, bachelor party that might I add no one invited me to.
Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Lowell, you don't even like Jim Barto.
Lowell Mather: But I like watchin' strippers...even if they are my cousins.

Helen Chapel: What the hell's this 'transponder' he keeps talking about?
Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: It's a transmitter that sends out a constant homing signal so that, in the event of a crash, they'll be sure to find us.
Helen Chapel: And if we don't have one?
Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Well, what's the nautical equivalent of 'needle in a haystack?'


"Wings: Come Fly with Me (#5.10)" (1993)
Joe Montgomery Hackett: Hey, anyone interested in going down to the junior high and seeing this production of "Jesus Christ Superstar"?
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Oh, they canceled it. Jesus couldn't make it. He got grounded.


"Wings: It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House (#4.7)" (1992)
Brian Michael Hackett: [Spotting Alex entering the terminal] Hello - Alex Lambert, helicopter pilot from Heaven.
Joe Montgomery Hackett: Oh, wow! I'd sell my soul to the devil for her.
Brian Michael Hackett: I'd drag myself naked across broken glass just to kiss one of her footprints.
Joe Montgomery Hackett: Well, I would walk across hot coals just to get to that ground glass.
Brian Michael Hackett: Yeah? Well, I would doggy-paddle across a pool of hungry pirhanas...
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: [Interrupting] Oh, stop it! You two are terrible! I'd take you both over my knee except I'm afraid you'd like it!


"Wings: Death Becomes Him (#7.3)" (1995)
Joe Montgomery Hackett: What, what are you doing, Faye? You got an idea?
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: [Mischievously] Maybe this body will do. People look very different when they pass on. Kingsbury was a recluse; no one's seen him in years! Now, let's see what we've got here. Pop the hood!
[Brian opens the casket]
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: ... Well, this dame's not gonna cut it.


"Wings: Murder She Roast (#2.21)" (1991)
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: If I was going to kill you, I'd never poison you. I'd just tamper with the fuel gauge on the plane and let you sink like a stone somewhere over Nantuckett Sound.
Brian Michael Hackett: Faye!
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: I'm only kidding... but I do know how.


"Wings: Roy Crazy (#5.21)" (1994)
Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: That's your ex-wife? She's so elegant & refined & attractive &... ummmm...
Roy Biggins: And what? Is it so hard to believe she was married to me?
Alex: Yeah! What'd she do, lose a bet?


"Wings: Mathers of the Heart (#4.5)" (1992)
Roy Biggins: You know Fay you really are quite a handsome woman.
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Just how many martinis did you have at lunch today?
Roy Biggins: Three. Why?
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: I can always tell when Roy's had lunch at the Elks Club.
Antonio Scarpacci: Perhaps you should just accept Roy's compliment for what it is. After all, you do look particularly appealing this afternoon.
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: And where did you eat lunch?
Antonio Scarpacci: I was Roy's guest.


"Wings: Joe Blows: Part 2 (#5.8)" (1993)
Brian Michael Hackett: [Reading Fay's to-do list] I know the goat is a roadie tart, but I bought your dog a grape jar?
Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: I know we got off to a rocky start, but I think you're doing a great job.