Waldo Geraldo Faldo
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Quotes for
Waldo Geraldo Faldo (Character)
from "Family Matters" (1989)

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"Family Matters: Citizen's Court (#3.6)" (1991)
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home.
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo... come to the Witness Stand.

Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Waldo, you may go now.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left.

Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Illinois.
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh... no, Waldo, state your name. Not name your state.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Waldo Faldo... from Illinois.

Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo?
Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. When I was with him, I felt... I felt...
[Rolls up his sleeve and begins reading]
Waldo: ...I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere.
Steve Urkel: [panicked] ... um... perhaps you mean "biosphere"?
Waldo: [after thinking a moment] Ok. Cool.
Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. I'm finished with this witness, your honor!
Laura: Wait a second. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm?
Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say.

Eddie: That thing is so ugly.
Steve Urkel: Shh. Pablo's bilingual!
Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life.


"Family Matters: Life of the Party (#2.18)" (1991)
Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze?
Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket.
[Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home]
Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. We were just having a little fun
Laura Lee Winslow: Fun? Steve could've been killed.
Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok.
Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. Well it's not cool. It's not funny, it's dangerous.
Cop: It's also against the law.
[He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: Jail, I guess.
Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up
Willie Fuffner: Do we get a phone call?
Cop: One call.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number?
[Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them]

[Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna get Urkel.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: Because he humilated me.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday.
Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend.

Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible.
Willie Fuffner: What did he say?
Waldo: He called you a gerbil.

[Steve is wasted]
Laura: Steve...
Steve Urkel: Laura! Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes!
Laura: Are you all right?
Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! I want more Punch! Anybody have more punch?
Laura: Steve, Calm Down!
Steve Urkel: [as Waldo hands Steve a cup of the spiked punch] Why should I Laura, I'm the pife of the larty!
[splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]
Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel!
Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him!
Waldo: Willie told me not to tell.
Laura: Tell what?
Waldo: That he spiked Urkel's punch.
Laura: WHAT?
Waldo: I said he... Hey, you can't trick me!
Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel!
[Steve climbs on the ledge of the roof]
Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Get down from there!
Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow... oh...
[guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]
Steve Urkel: Help!, Help!
Laura: Steve, are you okay?
Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up!


"Family Matters: Stop, in the Name of Love (#3.21)" (1992)
Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me?
Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. I know how you feel about Laura. But, like they say in the movie "Love Story"... 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'.

Steve Urkel: Waldo, is everything okay?
Waldo: No, it's not.
Steve Urkel: Well, what's the matter?
Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Can you imagine that?
Steve Urkel: Actually, yes!

Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to... kinda, maybe... go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe?
Steve Urkel: Now, let him down easy.
Laura: Sure, Waldo.
Steve Urkel: NOT THAT EASY!

Laura: I mean it, Waldo. You have a lot of qualities girls really go for.
Waldo: I do? Like what?
Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. I mean, you... are... very...
Waldo: Handsome?
Laura: Let's just put it this way... You have the perfect face for your head.


"Family Matters: Requiem for an Urkel (#2.11)" (1990)
[Walks over to Willie Fuffner]
Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable.
Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you.
Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love.
[slaps Willie with his gloved hand]
Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction.
Willie Fuffner: He hit me with a mitten.
Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one.
Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat!
Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back.
[Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner]

[Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]
Waldo Faldo: Whacha gonna do Willie?
Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker.
Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: Cause it's Tuesday.
Waldo Faldo: Again?

Waldo: Hey, whatcha gonna do, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker!
Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie?
Willie Fuffner: Because, it's Tuesday.
Waldo: Again?


"Family Matters: Food, Lies and Videotape (#3.17)" (1992)
Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. I'm going to give you an 'A'.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. I never got an 'A' before. Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? I wanna read it to my mom.

Ms. Steuben: I'm going to give you an A.
Waldo: [pause] Wow! Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom.


"Family Matters: A Test of Friendship (#3.14)" (1992)
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating?
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled.
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that.
[Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door]
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them!
[He leaves the house]
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo.

Waldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them!


"Family Matters: Mama's Wedding (#4.19)" (1993)
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo!
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Was'sup.
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Hey, cut me some slack. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. My mom's the one who really messed up. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and...
[Steve covers his mouth for one second. then removes his hand]
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: ...over and over and over.
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. Eddo. Eddo. Easy Eddo.
Weasel: Yeah chill. Let eserviate on the bright side.
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Bright side? What bright side, Weasel?
Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in.
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. This is my grandmother's wedding and... $1500. No. No. No. This isn't right Weasel. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go.
Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Look I clued everybody in. We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. Then we par-tay, see no problem.
Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward!
Weasel: Problem.

Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It!


"Family Matters: Tips for a Better Life (#7.16)" (1996)
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [Seeing Eddie all packed, and ready] Sorry Eddie, but You can't move in with Me!
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I figured I'd wait til Your arms were full, so You couldn't hit Me!

Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Remember you said that I win gold medal in the Stupid Olympics? Well, I got news for you, Eddie. I looked it up, there's no such thing!


"Family Matters: Love and Kisses (#3.20)" (1992)
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations?
Laura Lee Winslow: No! More like The Repulsions.
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. And we practiced for six minutes!

Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations?
Laura: No! More like The Repulsions.
Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. And we practiced for six minutes!


"Family Matters: Best Friends (#5.6)" (1993)
[Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts?
[Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the next name]
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit?
[Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow.
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo?
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve.
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend.
[the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges]
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on.
[smiles]
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo.


"Family Matters: Midterm Crisis (#6.12)" (1995)
Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. But I have feelings, too. If you cut me, do I not cough? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? And if you call me names, do I not eat?


"Family Matters: Nunsense (#5.22)" (1994)
Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Why are you guys dressed like that?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition?
Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun.
Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent?


"Family Matters: Muskrat Love (#4.11)" (1993)
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. Because check this out buddy, you're alone.
Weasel: Just temporarily.
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. But you know what, I find her very attractive. Let me tell you something though Weasel. If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by.
Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade.


"Family Matters: Scammed (#7.21)" (1996)
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it.


"Family Matters: Dream Date (#7.22)" (1996)
Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel
[prom guests gasp]
Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits!
[Prom Guests Gasp]
Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped.
Steve Urkel: Of course. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away.
Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower?
Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose!
Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good.
Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo.
Waldo: We rented us a limo station wagon. All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard.
Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in?
Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. Let's trot on over there and see what develops.
[laughs and snorts]


"Family Matters: Robo-Nerd (#3.7)" (1991)
Steve Urkel: Have you guys seen Laura?
Eddie: Nope.
Waldo: Sure you have. Pretty girl, dark hair... your sister for God's sake!
Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today.
Waldo: Ohh... Cool.


"Family Matters: Robo-Nerd II (#3.23)" (1992)
Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yo, Waldo, how do I look?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: With your eyes!


"Family Matters: The Psycho Twins (#5.18)" (1994)
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [after pulling his underpants out of his jeans] Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts?


"Family Matters: Aunt Oona (#5.23)" (1994)
Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Sup?
Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile?
Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. How much do I owe you for parking?


"Family Matters: Brain over Brawn (#3.2)" (1991)
Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym.
Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. It's Monday! You had two whole days to forget where it was.