A Pimp Named Slickback
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Quotes for
A Pimp Named Slickback (Character)
from "The Boondocks" (2005)

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"The Boondocks: Tom, Sarah and Usher (#2.2)" (2007)
Tom Dubois: Uh, what's going on, guys?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Mr. Dubois, my name is A Pimp Named Slickback, sir, and this is an intervention.
Tom Dubois: An intervention?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Your friends have reason to believe that you are suffering from Chronic Bitch Dependency, Mr. Dubois. May I call you Tom?
Tom Dubois: Is this some kind of joke?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Tom, Bitch Dependency is no laughing matter. Addiction to a bitch can fuck with your friends, your health, and, scary enough, even your money. It's a disease, Tom.

Tom Dubois: What was your name again?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Well, thank you for asking. My name is A Pimp Named Slickback.
Tom Dubois: Wait, a pimp?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Named Slickback, yes. Please say the whole thing if you would? Yes, that includes the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes, Tom, every time.
Tom Dubois: Look, Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback...
A Pimp Named Slickback: No need for the "Mr."
Tom Dubois: I don't think I need any help from someone like you.
A Pimp Named Slickback: And by "someone like me," you mean a pimp? A bad guy?
Tom Dubois: Now, look, I'm not trying to insult you. I just don't approve of what you people do to women.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Oh, so I'm wrong, so I'm messed up. Well, which one of us is missing a bitch, Tom? You don't see *me* running around looking for a bitch. I know where all my bitches are, thank you very much.

A Pimp Named Slickback: Now look at you, bitchless. Sans bitch, as the French in France would say.

A Pimp Named Slickback: Did you know that at least 75% of bitches suffer from some kind of hearing loss? This alarming statistic means that, more likely than not, talking is not the most effective way to communicate with a bitch. That's when you have to hit her.
Tom Dubois: Whoa, what?
A Pimp Named Slickback: You tell her what you want her to do. If she say no, hit the bitch! Simple.
Tom Dubois: But I couldn't hit Sarah. I couldn't hit *any* woman.
A Pimp Named Slickback: Has *not* hitting the bitch been working? I mean, scientifically speaking, has not hitting the bitch achieved the desired result?
Tom Dubois: No way! I just, I can't, I couldn't, I won't!
A Pimp Named Slickback: Tom, take a deep breath. It's okay, people have phobias. Some niggas can't cross bridges, you can't go upside a bitch's head. Okay, we can beat this.

A Pimp Named Slickback: This is my state-of-the-art surveillance center.
Tom Dubois: Why does a pimp need a surveillance center?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Included in your retainer fee is state-of-the-art bitch surveillance. Quiet Storm, here, has been monitoring your wife's conversations and emails.
Quiet Storm: Daddy, I've got transcripts of all the conversations today. No mention of Usher. I'm hacking into her email now, but this computer is running a bit slow. Perhaps if we didn't have dial-up...
A Pimp Named Slickback: [Slaps Quiet Storm with a magazine] Bitch, don't start with that "we need another computer" shit again! You say that shit every time a new iMac comes out. You ain't Slick, you better make that G4 work, bitch, and stop playin' with me!
Quiet Storm: Yes, daddy.


"The Boondocks: Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner (#1.3)" (2005)
Granddad: Hold on there, Slickback.
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, it's A Pimp Named Slickback.
Granddad: That's what I said. Slickback.
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, it's "A Pimp Named Slickback." Like A Tribe Called Quest; you say the whole thing: "A Pimp Named Slickback"!
Granddad: Can't I just call you "Slickback" for short?
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, nigga! It's "A Pimp Named Slickback!"
Granddad: Cristal, who is this person?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Nigga, are you deaf? I'm A Pimp Named Slickback! Say it with me now!

A Pimp Named Slickback: [reciting prayer] Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch. And guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord. So that she might learn a ho's place. Amen.

Granddad: You ain't gon' hit no woman in my house.
A Pimp Named Slickback: What woman, sir? This here's a ho.