Jazmine Dubois
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Quotes for
Jazmine Dubois (Character)
from "The Boondocks" (2005)

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"The Boondocks: The Block Is Hot (#1.14)" (2006)
Jazmine Dubois: Oh, you think ponies grow on trees?
Huey Freeman: What kind of question is that? It's a large 4-legged mammal.
Jazmine Dubois: Or maybe I'm just supposed to wait until I'm an old woman before I get my pony. How am I going to look, Huey, a 65 year-old woman riding a pony?

Jazmine Dubois: My own pony! I'm gonna name him Sammy Davis, Jr. the Pony.

Ed Wuncler: How old are you?
Jazmine Dubois: T-T-T-Ten
Ed Wuncler: T-T-T-Too damn old to be writing your E's backwards, dammit!


"The Boondocks: ...Or Die Trying (#2.1)" (2007)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [to Riley] Make sure you pee before we leave. I ain't going to miss my movie going to the bathroom with you. I'mma let you go in there by yourself and get molested by a nasty white man.
[to Huey]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What's wrong with you?
Huey Freeman: I don't wanna go to the movies.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Why not?
Huey Freeman: I don't ever wanna go to the movies with you again. Not after what happened last time.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What happened last time?
Huey Freeman: We got arrested... and shot at.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Haa racism.
Jazmine Dubois: Daddy said I can go the movies, but he said I'm not allowed to see soul plane.
Huey Freeman: Good, you don't wanna go to the movies with him. He's crazy.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush! You can't see soul plane? Why, lil baby?
Jazmine Dubois: Because of the types of stereos or something.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Types of stereos? Oh, no no no, lil baby doll. This is a good theater. They have THX.
[hums]
Huey Freeman: She means stereotypes.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Stereotypes? In soul plane? That's nonsense. Say how about we tell your daddy we saw something else. Hm?
Jazmine Dubois: [gasps] You mean, lie?
Huey Freeman: That really doesn't seem to be a good idea.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush boy. You know, it's okay to break the rules every once and a while. I won't tell if you won't.
Jazmine Dubois: Okay.
[laughs]
Huey Freeman: [narrating] Sometimes I think Granddad may be a bad influence.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hey Riley, don't forget the camcorder.
[outside]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Now the first soul plane was funny.
Huey Freeman: About as funny as a lynching.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush boy, you ain't even see it.
Huey Freeman: I never seen a lynching either, but I know they're not funny.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: See! Shows what you know. I've seen funny lynchings.

Uncle Ruckus: You mean we gon' let this African hooligan nigga go unpunished?
Jazmine Dubois: You have problems Mr. Freeman and you need help.
Huey Freeman: Thanks for coming back, eventually.
Riley Freeman: Yo, you need to stop snitching, granddad.
[gets smacked by granddad]
Riley Freeman: Hey! Won't you call Social Services and turn yourself in for child abuse?
[gets smacked again by granddad]

Jazmine Dubois: [as they leave for the movie] This is gonna be so much fun!
Huey Freeman: This is going to be the worst day of your life. I'm bringing nunchucks.


"The Boondocks: A Huey Freeman Christmas (#1.7)" (2005)
Jazmine Dubois: [preaching in her dream] Nowadays people think ho, ho, ho is the Hilton sisters standing next to Nicole Richie!

Jazmine Dubois: Nowadays people think HO HO HO means Nicole Richie standing next to the Hilton Sisters! But that ain't no HO HO HO! I'm talking about the REAL HO HO HO!!!

Jazmine Dubois: Why doesn't the real Santa come?
Riley: 'Cause there ain't no real Santa.
[walks away]
Riley: [Jazmine falls to her knees and cries]
Uncle Ruckus: No Santy Claus? Well, I'd expect a heathen nigglet like Riley to say somethin' like that. But Jazmine, I'm surprised at you! Bein' a mule-atto and all, you s'posed to have more sense.


"The Boondocks: The Real (#1.8)" (2006)
Huey: There ain't no such thing as a tooth fairy.
Jazmine Dubois: Then who leaves the money?
Huey: Probably your parents. They have both the cash and the access to your room.
Jazmine Dubois: Why would they lie to me?
Huey: Because the truth hurts, Jazmine. The world is a hard and lonely place and nobody gets anything for free. And you want to know what else? One day, you and everyone you know is gonna die.
[Jazmine cries and runs away]

Jazmine Dubois: You can believe in secret agents but I can't believe in the tooth fairy? That's messed up, Huey!
Huey: Go... eat something out of a dumpster, you street urchin!


"The Boondocks: Tom, Sarah and Usher (#2.2)" (2007)
Tom Dubois: And so, sweetie, that's why Daddy is staying over at the Freeman's house. So Mommy can have her space.
Jazmine Dubois: So you're not getting a divorce?
Tom Dubois: Oh, no, sweetie.
Jazmine Dubois: So, Usher *won't* be my new daddy?
Tom Dubois: What? No, that's ridiculous!
Jazmine Dubois: Oh, are you sure? Maybe just for a *little* while? I mean, you like it here, don't you, Daddy? This is, uh, a pretty good sized room.


"The Boondocks: A Date with the Health Inspector (#1.5)" (2005)
Tom Dubois: Earliest I could get out would be on Monday.
Huey Freeman: Well, it's just the weekend.
Tom Dubois: It only takes one night to get anally raped! Huey, the only way for me to get out of here is if you find to the real killer tonight.
Huey Freeman: The real killer? Nigga, I'm 10! How am I gonna find the real killer?
Tom Dubois: Please! You've gotta try!
Huey Freeman: All right, all right, all right. Damn.
Tom Dubois: [sobbing] Thank you, Huey. Whatever you do, don't tell my baby Jazmine! I don't know want her to know her daddy was somebody's biiiiiiiiiitch!
Jazmine Dubois: Was that Daddy? Where is he? Is he OK? Was he kidnapped by terrorists?
Huey Freeman: Um, your father wants you to know he's nobody's bitch.
[Jazmine sobs hysterically]


"The Boondocks: The Passion of Ruckus (#1.15)" (2006)
Jazmine Dubois: Do you believe in God, Huey? I believe in God.
Riley Freeman: First of all, I'ma live forever! But if I do die, I'm gon' smack God upside the head and gon' tell him to get me a grilled-cheese sandwich and some tacos!
Jazmine Dubois: [to Huey] When I want something or I'm afraid about something, I pray. Have you ever prayed?
Riley Freeman: And I dare God to say somethin'! I'll be like 'Say somethin', God! Say somethin'! Yeah, I thought so!'
Jazmine Dubois: [to Huey] You should pray for Shabazz. God'll get him out of jail. They have to listen to him. He's God!
Riley Freeman: And if God say somethin' I'll be like this:
[punches the air]
Riley Freeman: Take that, God! I'll be beatin' God's jaw like: Pla-kow! Blaow!