Robert Philip
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Quotes for
Robert Philip (Character)
from Enchanted (2007)

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Enchanted (2007)
Giselle: What about you and Nancy? You know that you will live happily ever after.
Robert: I don't know if I'll make it through today, let alone a lifetime. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's complicated.
Giselle: But it doesn't have to be. Not if she knows.
Robert: Knows what?
Giselle: How much you really love her.
Robert: Of course she does. We just don't talk about it every minute of the day, but she knows.
Giselle: How?
Robert: What do you mean, "how?"
Giselle: [singing] How does she know...
Robert: [laughs] No, don't.
Giselle: You love her? / How does she know...
Robert: People look-looking.
Giselle: She's yours?
Robert: [interrupting] Don't sing. It's OK, you know. Let's just walk. Can we walk?
Giselle: [speaks] Well, does she?
Robert: Yeah.

Prince Edward: [threatening Robert with his sword] Have you any last words before I dispatch you?
Robert: You have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words!

Giselle: Is that the only word you know? "No?"
Robert: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, No!
Giselle: "No! No! No!" Over and over! When you keep saying "No!" it just makes me so... Sometimes you make me so!... angry.
[laughs really hard]

Robert: [Giselle and the other people at Central Park all start singing] He knows the song too? I've never heard this song before! What the hell is it?

Queen Narissa: [transforms into a dragon] If I'm to remain queen I'll need a story for when I go back to Andalasia. What about "a giant, dangerous monster appeared and killed everyone, and poor Queen Narissa she just couldn't save them!" Let's start with the girl who started it all!
Robert: [pushes Giselle further behind him] Over my dead body!
Queen Narissa: [shrugs] Alright, I'm flexible.
[grabs Robert instead]

Robert: [after Giselle has bitten the poisoned apple] Please, don't leave me.

Robert: [singing to Giselle along with the bandleader at the ball] Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come, so far. We are so close.

Robert: Would you like me to call someone for you?
Giselle: I don't think they would hear you from here.

Robert: [struggling to break free of her grasp] You're crazy!
Queen Narissa: No. Spiteful, vindictive, *very large*, but never crazy.

Giselle: Why are you staring at me?
Robert: I don't know. It's just that... it's like you escaped from a Hallmark card or something.
Giselle: Is that a bad thing?

Robert: [tries to stop Nancy from leaving] What... what about taking Morgan to school, you know, for some grown-up girl bonding time?
Nancy Tremaine: What, so you can have some grown-up girl bonding time?
Nancy Tremaine: [glares pointedly at Giselle]
Nancy Tremaine: I don't think so.

Giselle: Is this a habit of yours? Falling off of stuff?
Robert: Only when you're there to catch me.

Giselle: [after leaving the shower] Good morning, Robert. I hope you had wonderful dreams.
Robert Philip: I think I'm still in one.

Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip: What kind of place?
Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
Robert Philip: A hollow tree?
Giselle: Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.

Giselle: Nobody has been very nice to me.
Robert: Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Giselle: Thank you.

Giselle: [singing] Well, does he take you out dancing / Just so he can hold you close?
Robert: [speaking] I don't dance!
Giselle: Dedicate a song / With words meant just for you? / Ooh ooh
Robert: [speaking] And I really don't sing.

[greeting Robert at the King's and Queen's Ball]
Giselle: I'm surprised. You said you couldn't dance.
Robert: I said I didn't. I never said I couldn't.

Giselle: [after Robert knocks on the bathroom door] Hello?
Robert: Okay, you know what? You gotta go. Look, I don't know what your deal is, if you're waiting around for Prince Charming or you're just...?
Giselle: Prince Edward.
Robert: Whatever. Look, I'll get you to a bus, a train, a plane, a whatever, then, that's it. After that, I can't... I can't get involved after that.
[Giselle emerges from the bathroom in a bright blue dress]
Robert: Where did you get that?
Giselle: I made it. Do you like it?
[Robert notices dress-shaped holes in his curtains, and looks quite shocked]
Giselle: You're unhappy.
Robert: *You made a dress out of my curtains*?
Giselle: Oh, you are unhappy!

[talking about Giselle]
Sam: She has no driver's license, no passport, I can't even find this place she comes from.
Robert: What place?
Sam: Andalusia.
Robert: Andalasia.
Sam: Whatever. I've called every travel agent, every airline. I'm not sure if it's a country or a city.
Robert: It can't be a state.
[Both watch Giselle acting strangely]
Sam: More like a state of mind.
[mimicking Giselle]
Sam: And she told me it's just beyond the meadows of joy and the valley of contentment. What is that all about?

Robert: Oh my.
Giselle: Oh my. He's here!
Robert: Apparently.
Giselle: Oh my. Oh my goodness. How do I look?
Robert: Slightly stunned.
Giselle: No, I mean, how do I look?
[mean her appearance]
Robert: You look... beautiful.

Robert: Now she thinks that you and I...
Giselle: Kissed?
Robert: Yeah, something like that.

Robert: So, what's the deal with this prince of yours? How long you been together?
Giselle: [wistfully] Oh, about a day.
Robert: You mean it feels like a day because you're so in love.
Giselle: No, it's been a day.
Robert: You're kidding me. A day? One day?
Giselle: Yes.
[wistful again]
Giselle: And tomorrow it will be two days.
Robert: You're joking.
Giselle: No. I'm not.
Robert: Yeah, you are.
Giselle: But I'm not.
Robert: You're gonna marry somebody after a day? Because you fell in love with him?
Giselle: Yes.
[grins]
Giselle: Yes!
Robert: [laughs as she drags him away]

Giselle: What about you? How long have you known your Nancy?
Robert: Uh, five years.
Giselle: And you haven't proposed?
Robert: Well, no, I...
Giselle: Well no wonder she's angry.
Robert: Well...

Robert: You know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
Giselle: Date?
Robert: Yeah, you know. Date.
[Giselle shakes her head not understanding]
Robert: You go someplace special, like a restaurant, or a movie, or museum, or you just hang out and you talk.
Giselle: What do you talk about?
Robert: About each other. About yourself. About your interests, your likes your dislikes, you talk.
[both laugh]
Giselle: Oh, you have such strange ideas about love.
Robert: Maybe we should just do what you do. You meet, you have lunch, and you get married.
Giselle: Oh, you forgot about happily ever after.
Robert: Forget about happily ever after, it doesn't exist.

Robert: [off Giselle's look] What?
Giselle: This is a very nice place.
Robert: Yeah?
Giselle: And we're eating dinner.
Robert: Yeah.
Giselle: [happily] This is a date!
Robert: Yeah!
[happy then realizing his mistake]
Robert: No! No. No, no, no, no. We're just, um, we're just friends.

Robert: [after talking on the phone] It was Nancy. She's a lot like the woman in your book. Sweetie... I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
Morgan Philip: What?
Robert: Ye, you like her, don't you? We all get along, we have a good time together.
Morgan Philip: Where's she going to live?
Robert: She's gonna live with us
Morgan Philip: Do I have to give up my bedroom?
Robert: No, you don't have to give up your bedroom. No. Come on, It's gonna be great. I promise. It's not like she's gonna try and be your mother.
Morgan Philip: You mean stepmother.
Robert: She's gonna be a nice stepmother. She's gonna take you to school tomorrow, just you and her, for some grown-up girl-bonding time.
Morgan Philip: I'm only six.
Robert: You won't always be.

Morgan Philip: But I think she might be a real princess!
Robert Philip: Morgan honey, just because she has on a funny dress doesn't mean she's a princess. She's a seriously confused woman who's fallen into our laps.

Robert: [regarding Morgan] I know she's shy. I know she doesn't have very many friends. I just want her to be strong, you know? To be able to face the world for what it is. That's why I don't encourage the fairy tales. I don't want to set her up to believe in this "dreams come true" nonsense.
Giselle: But dreams do come true. And maybe something wonderful will happen.
Robert: Yeah, well, I forgot who I was talking to.
Giselle: Well, I hope you don't forget. I like talking to you.
Nathaniel: [with an absurd French accent, setting down a glass of apple martini by Giselle] For the nice lady. From a secret admirer.
Giselle: Oh!
Robert: A secret admirer? How come people keep giving you free stuff?
Giselle: What is it?
Nathaniel: It's an apple martini, miss.
Giselle: Oh, apple mar... ooh! It looks yummy.
Robert: Yeah, be careful, it's poisonous.
[Nathaniel growls at him]
Giselle: You're joking.
Robert: Yeah.
Robert: No, they'll creep up on you, though. I'd be really careful.
Giselle: Well, I'll just have one sip.
Nathaniel: A sip is all it takes.

Morgan Philip: [holding up two rats] What do I do with them?
Robert: Get them outside. Get rid of them. Get rid of them.
Morgan Philip: Put them back?
Robert: Put them outside! Don't put them back.

Giselle: [regarding Morgan and her mom] Does she miss her terribly?
Robert: Miss who?
Giselle: Her mother.
Robert: Um, well, we just...
Giselle: What?
Robert: We don't talk about it.
Giselle: Oh. I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to pry.
Robert: No, no, no, it's okay. It's just, um... I don't talk about it. To Morgan or to anybody.
Giselle: Because it was very sad?
Robert: Not at first.
Giselle: You were in love.
Robert: Yeah. That was the problem.