Mallory Keaton
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Quotes for
Mallory Keaton (Character)
from "Family Ties" (1982)

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Family Ties Vacation (1985) (TV)
Mallory Keaton: Do they have toast in England?
Alex P. Keaton: Yeah, I think a boat load just came in this morning.
Mallory Keaton: Alex, you don't have to be so sarcastic, okay? We are in a foreign country. We don't know for sure if they have toast here.
Alex P. Keaton: Mallory, the United States was started by people from England. They had toast before we did.
Mallory Keaton: Oh yeah? Who invented it?
Alex P. Keaton: Alfred Toast.


"Family Ties: Art Lover (#4.20)" (1986)
Nick Moore: Look Mallory, I am only gonna say this once and if you don't believe me, I'm just going to turn around, walk out that door, and never come back: there is nothing going on between me and Victoria.
Mallory Keaton: I don't believe you.
Nick Moore: Mallory, I am only gonna say this twice: there is nothing going on between me and Victoria.


"Family Ties: You've Got a Friend (#4.11)" (1985)
Mallory Keaton: My family is pretty simple. As long as you follow a few simple rules. Don't get my father talking on capital punishment. Don't get my mom talking on women's lib. And don't get Alex talking.


"Family Ties: They Can't Take That Away from Me: Part 2 (#7.20)" (1989)
Mallory Keaton: [On the meaning of life] Be happy; try not to hurt other people; and hope that you fall in love.


"Family Ties: Alex Doesn't Live Here Anymore (#7.25)" (1989)
Mallory Keaton: The meaning of life? That's simple. Try to be happy, try not to hurt other people, and hope to fall in love.


"Family Ties: Big Brother Is Watching (#1.7)" (1982)
Jennifer Keaton: I scored a goal with my head.
Mallory Keaton: I'm really happy for you.
Jennifer Keaton: I also scored a goal with someone else's head.