Officer Bill Gannon
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Quotes for
Officer Bill Gannon (Character)
from "Dragnet 1967" (1967)

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Dragnet (1987)
Captain Gannon: Frank won't be coming into work today Joe.
Friday: 24 hour virus?
Captain Gannon: Or tomorrow.
Friday: 48 hour?
Captain Gannon: Frank quit, moved to Ukiah, bought a goat farm...

[Friday's car was stolen]
Friday: With the exception of you and canned cling peaches I'd be hard pressed to find anyone or anything that doesn't know you should never leave your car keys in the ignition.
Pep Streebeck: It's called a mistake, Friday, but I don't suppose you ever make any of those, do you?
Captain Gannon: Friday, Streebeck, we got another one. Chemical train hijack down at the freight yards. Damn Pagans must be living on No-Doz!
Friday: Yessir, Captain. We'll roll as soon as we requisition a new...
Captain Gannon: Oh, one more thing. Police and fire departments all over the county have been reporting vehicles stolen. So keep an eye on your car!

Captain Gannon: [after waking Capt. Gannon and briefing him in the middle of the night] Friday, do you have any idea what time it is?
Joe Friday: Yes sir.
[looks at his watch]
Pep Streebeck: Oh, don't ask him that, Captain.
Joe Friday: It's 4:27am, sir.
Pep Streebeck: He lives for that. It's in his blood.


"Dragnet 1967: The Hammer (#1.7)" (1967)
Officer Bill Gannon: [Friday and Gannon are interviewing Chesney Guthrie] You understand your rights, Mr. Gutherie?
Chesney Guthrie: Yes, very fair, very fair.
Officer Bill Gannon: You're a barber, is that right?
Chesney Guthrie: Oh no, I'm a hairstylist, there's a difference.
[He points to Friday]
Chesney Guthrie: Now you go to a barber, but a hair stylist could do wonders for you.
[He turns to Gannon]
Chesney Guthrie: But you stay with a barber. Nothing personal.

Friday: [Friday and Gannon are getting ready to leave for Arizona and Friday notices Gannon doesn't have a suitcase] Where's your gear?
Officer Bill Gannon: Don't worry, I've got it.
Friday: Where?
Officer Bill Gannon: [He points to Friday's suitcase] You won't catch me carrying one of those cases.
Friday: Where's your gear?
Officer Bill Gannon: Oh, come on, Joe.
[He points to his coat's chest pocket]
Officer Bill Gannon: Tooth brush, toothpaste, razor,
[points to another pocket]
Officer Bill Gannon: clean socks,
[points to inside right pocket]
Officer Bill Gannon: clean underwear,
[points to left inside of his coat]
Officer Bill Gannon: clean shirt.
Friday: You could have fooled me.
Officer Bill Gannon: Sure. You know Joe, in all of the years we've worked together you still haven't learned.
Friday: What's that?
Officer Bill Gannon: How to travel light.

Camille: [Friday and Gannon are talking to Camille who is not very cooperative] You got a lot of nerve waking me up in the middle of the night like this.
Policewoman Dorothy Miller: These are Los Angeles police officers. They want to ask you some questions.
Officer Bill Gannon: It's our duty to inform you that you have the right to...
Camille: [Interrupting] Answer or not answer, get me a lawyer. I know the whole scam. You got a cigarette?
Officer Bill Gannon: You old enough to smoke?
Camille: I'm old enough to do anything, including clam up. I know my rights, fuzz, and I got a right to not talk to you. You're wasting your time and my beauty sleep cuz I ain't telling you nothing, not a thing about nothing. Now what about that cigarette and let me get back to that fleabag they call a cell.
[Friday gives her a a cigarette and a light]
Camille: You've got nice eyes - for a cop.
[She blows smoke into Friday's face]
Friday: And I bet your mother had a loud bark.


"Dragnet 1967: The Shooting (#1.11)" (1967)
[Joe and Bill enter an interrogation room bearing the sawed-off shotgun with which Roger Kensington and Harry Johnson shot Officer Dave Roberts]
Roger Kensington: Look here, Harry, they sent in the first team.
Sgt. Joe Friday: [tossing the shotgun on the table for effect] All right, tunnel mouth! Let's all save time! Last April a police officer was shot at Olive and Main, and we think you and that shotgun did it.
Harry Johnson: [sarcastically] He scare you, Roger? He scares me.
Roger Kensington: He makes me sick! You've been rousting me since I was a kid, you and every other cop from here to Kansas City, year after year!
Officer Bill Gannon: Why- if it wasn't for prison food, you'd starve to death. You haven't been out of the Joint for more than two or three years in your entire life.
Roger Kensington: I'll be out again in twenty-six months, brown eyes! Stay home nights!
Sgt. Joe Friday: You listen to me, punk! I've handled *jaywalkers* who were tougher than you.
Roger Kensington: When I get out, I'm gonna waste you!
Harry Johnson: Hey, there's no reason to work up a sweat, Roger. They told us our rights, we don't even have to *talk* to them.

Sgt. Joe Friday: All right, I'll talk to you Johnson- You were born in Harlan, Kentucky. Your father was a house painter, killed in the war. Your mother and your sister brought you out here. You went to school in Torrance. You got expelled for throwing a punch at your math teacher. The army took you during the Korean War. They didn't want you: they shoved you out on a Section 8! For seven years now, you've either been *in* jail, or just getting *out*!
Harry Johnson: [sarcastically] I *do* hope you'll write my *book*!
Sgt. Joe Friday: [continues] Now your buddy, he's really big-time; Three states want him for parole violations- two for armed robbery, and one for statutory rape, that's in Kansas.
Officer Bill Gannon: You remember her name, don't you, Kensington?
Roger Kensington: [sarcastically] What if I don't?
Officer Bill Gannon: You should-! She was your sister's daughter!
[Johnson looks at Kensington with surprise]


"Dragnet 1967: The LSD Story (#1.1)" (1967)
Officer Bill Gannon: [Friday and Bill pull Benjie's head out of the ground] Stand still.
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: [they begin to frisk him] Reality, man, reality! I could see the center of the earth! Purple flame down there with a pilot light! All the way down! Purple flame down there and a pilot light!
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: He's clean, Joe, except for these.
[holds out sugar cubes]
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: The pilot light of all creation and reality!
Friday: What's your name, son?
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: [tracing letters in the air] You can see my name if you look hard enough.
Friday: Come on now, what's your name?
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: Don't you know my name? My name's Blue Boy!
Officer Bill Gannon: What do you think, Joe, cartwheels?
Friday: [Blue Boy appears to not be paying attention] No, sugarcubes. I'll bet you he's been dropping that acid we've been hearing about. All right son, you're under arrest. It's our duty to advise you of your constitutional rights. You have the right to remain silent, and any statement you make may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to the presence of an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed before any questioning. Do you understand that?
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: [suddenly alert] There I am! I'm over there now! I'm not here anymore. My hair's green and I'm a tree!

Officer Bill Gannon: You ever see anybody this torn up?
Friday: Unless he's not strung out on sugar cubes.
Officer Bill Gannon: Yeah.
Friday: All right, let's take him to Central Receiving.
Officer Bill Gannon: Come on, son.
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: Even if your body does die, your mind will live on.
Officer Bill Gannon: Yeah, we know. Come on.
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: You're the dirty disbelievers! The evil disbelievers! Evil! EVIL EVIL!
[he jump-attacks Friday, and the two officers work to subdue him]
Friday: All right, come on son, settle down!
[they handcuff him]
Benjie 'Blue Boy' Carver: Brown, blue yellow. Green, green orange, red! Red red! Red! I can hear them, I can hear them all!
Friday: Yeah, sure you can, kid. Let's go back to the office. We'll all listen.
[they walk him to the car]


"Dragnet 1967: The Grenade (#2.1)" (1967)
Sergeant Joe Friday: The pin, Bill, put it in!
Officer Bill Gannon: Give me a minute.
Sergeant Joe Friday: We may not have a minute, put it in!

Officer Bill Gannon: Kids today are missing out on the best thing; growing up as kids, not teenaged adults.


"Dragnet 1967: D.H.Q.: The Victims (#4.26)" (1970)
Off. Rick Myler: [Friday and Gannon are investigating a purse snatching. The patrol car unit shows up] . You guys detectives?
Officer Bill Gannon: That's right. D.H.Q, night watch.
Off. Rick Myler: I gotta get into that. These radio calls are driving me right out of my mind. Investigation, that's for me.
Sergeant Joe Friday: How long have you been on the job now?
Off. Rick Myler: Six months now. I've got this patrol thing well whipped. I'm ready to move into something else now, you know?
Officer Bill Gannon: Uh, huh. Six months. That means you just got out of the academy last month, right?
Off. Rick Myler: Yeah, that's right.
Sergeant Joe Friday: You know it takes a good investigator to do a decent job working a radio car.
Off. Rick Myler: Yeah, but it's all preliminary. I want to get into follow up. That's where you get the big capers.
Sergeant Joe Friday: That's a new one on me, son. Here all the time I was under the impression that patrol officers were always in on the big capers.
Off. Rick Myler: Here's an example: Look at us. Somebody gets their purse stolen and who gets it? Us. It's getting so routine; I'm bored half-stiff.
Officer Bill Gannon: Rather be out tracking a bank robber, huh?
Off. Rick Myler: That's the ticket! None of this old lady drops her purse jazz.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Let me tell you something, youngster: Someday when you get the backs of those ears dried out, you might wake up and see just how important your job really is! Take a look at your partner over there. Sixteen years in a patrol unit, one of the best on the job. Now apparently you haven't been listening to him or you don't want to. For your information, that little old lady didn't just get her purse stolen: It was robbery! Two hoodlums kicked her senseless out on that sidewalk. You got a real large problem, son: You worry more about yourself then what goes on around you. Do me a favor, will you? Sit back and take a real hard look. Look at the victims and try to have a little empathy. It might do you some good. That's what we're all here, to serve these people. Now if you can't see it that way, maybe you ought to look for some other kind of job. I'm sure the department can spare you.
Off. Rick Myler: I didn't mean to...
Sergeant Joe Friday: That's right. You don't know what you mean or what you say or how you impress other people. Now you think about it. Try to learn something from your partner: He'll teach you something if you listen. He understands his job, you don't. Now do me a small favor, will you?
Off. Rick Myler: What's that, sir?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Do what your partner told you to do: Go out there and get that book, and then get back in here and go to school!
Off. Rick Myler: Yes, sir.
[Myler leaves]
Officer Bill Gannon: Green recruit, partner. Kind of hard on him, weren't you?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Those two punks were kind of hard on Mrs. Anderson.

Off. Rick Myler: [Friday and Gannon are investigating a purse snatching. The patrol car unit shows up] . You guys detectives?
Sergeant Joe Friday: That's right. D.H.Q, night watch.
Off. Rick Myler: I gotta get into that. These radio calls are driving me right out of my mind. Investigation, that's for me.
Sergeant Joe Friday: How long have you been on the job now?
Off. Rick Myler: Six months now. I've got this patrol thing well whipped. I'm ready to move into something else now, you know?
Officer Bill Gannon: Uh, huh. Six months. That means you just got out of the academy last month, right?
Off. Rick Myler: Yeah, that's right.
Sergeant Joe Friday: You know it takes a good investigator to do a decent job working a radio car.
Off. Rick Myler: Yeah, but it's all preliminary. I want to get into follow up. That's where you get the big capers.
Sergeant Joe Friday: That's a new one on me, son. Here all the time I was under the impression that patrol officers were always in on the big capers.
Off. Rick Myler: Here's an example: Look at us. Somebody gets their purse stolen and who gets it? Us. It's getting so routine; I'm bored half-stiff.
Officer Bill Gannon: Rather be out tracking a bank robber, huh?
Off. Rick Myler: That's the ticket! None of this old lady drops her purse jazz.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Let me tell you something, youngster: Someday when you get the backs of those ears dried out, you might wake up and see just how important your job really is! Take a look at your partner over there. Sixteen years in a patrol unit, one of the best on the job. Now apparently you haven't been listening to him or you don't want to. For your information, that little old lady didn't just get her purse stolen: It was robbery! Two hoodlums kicked her senseless out on that sidewalk. You got a real large problem, son: You worry more about yourself then what goes on around you. Do me a favor, will you? Sit back and take a real hard look. Look at the victims and try to have a little empathy. It might do you some good. That's what we're all here, to serve these people. Now if you can't see it that way, maybe you ought to look for some other kind of job. I'm sure the department can spare you.
Off. Rick Myler: I didn't mean to...
Sergeant Joe Friday: That's right. You don't know what you mean or what you say or how you impress other people. Now you think about it. Try to learn something from your partner: He'll teach you something if you listen. He understands his job, you don't. Now do me a small favor, will you?
Off. Rick Myler: What's that, sir?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Do what your partner told you to do: Go out there and get that book, and then get back in here and go to school!
Off. Rick Myler: Yes, sir.
[Myler leaves]
Officer Bill Gannon: Green recruit, partner. Kind of hard on him, weren't you?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Those two punks were kind of hard on Mrs. Anderson.


"Dragnet 1967: Burglary: Mister (#4.5)" (1969)
Officer Bill Gannon: Are you Daniel Lumis?
Mr. Daniel Lumis: I'm Mr. Daniel Lumis, yes.
Officer Bill Gannon: I'm "Mr." Officer Gannon and this is "Mr." Sergeant Friday.

Officer Bill Gannon: [referring to Daniel Loomis] ... for sheer *gall*, this guy has *got* to win the prize!


"Dragnet 1967: The Masked Bandits (#1.5)" (1967)
Officer Bill Gannon: [Gannon pulls a sandwich out of his coat pocket] You want a bite?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No thanks.
Officer Bill Gannon: You sure?
Sgt. Joe Friday: Sure.
Officer Bill Gannon: [Gannon holds it up for Friday to see] Corned beef, imported Swiss, lettuce, Russian dressing, cole slaw, kosher pickle, slice of tomato, mayonnaise, peanut butter, horseradish, and a little hot mustard.
Sgt. Joe Friday: [Grimacing] No thanks.
Officer Bill Gannon: You're sure now, it's an awfully good sandwich.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Sounds like a seven course meal.
Officer Bill Gannon: Well, it is a little filling.

Al Tucker: [Friday and Gannon are talking to the parole officer Al Tucker] Yea, I missed dinner, guess I'd better get on home.
Officer Bill Gannon: Don't rush off, I've got half a sandwich.
Al Tucker: Yeah? What's in it?
Officer Bill Gannon: Oh, you'll love it: corned beef, imported Swiss...
Sgt. Joe Friday: [Friday suddenly decides to leave] Good night, Bill.
Officer Bill Gannon: ...lettuce, Russian dressing...
Sgt. Joe Friday: Tuck, I'll see ya
[He walks away]
Officer Bill Gannon: ...cole slaw, kosher pickle, slice of tomato...
[end theme music begins playing]


"Dragnet 1967: The Joy Riders (#3.18)" (1969)
Officer Bill Gannon: Absolutely senseless never saw the man before.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Yeah?
Officer Bill Gannon: Blew his head off.

Sergeant Joe Friday: [Mrs Rustin comes in from shopping] Your boy is under arrest Mrs Rustin.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: For what?
Sergeant Joe Friday: Suspicion of murder
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: [Drops her bags] Dear God in heaven.
Harold F. Rustin: Oh come on mom don't listen to these guys.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: Are you sure?
Officer Bill Gannon: Yes we're sure.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: [Starts sobbing and screaming] Haven't I given you everything why Harold? Answer me! Answer ME!
Sergeant Joe Friday: I don't think he can Mrs Rustin.
Mrs. Eunice Rustin: Why can't he?
Sergeant Joe Friday: He doesn't have one.


"Dragnet 1967: Homicide: DR-22 (#3.14)" (1969)
Capt. Hugh Brown: Cal Lampe you old war hose the minute I seen that FBI kick back I just knew it had to be you.
Calvin Lampe: How you doing Hugh? You're looking good.
Capt. Hugh Brown: Good. You know this is one of the finest detectives I have ever known.44 years with the Chicago PD retired with the rank of deputy chief.This isn't your suspect is he.
Sergeant Joe Friday: No sir Bill and I were beginning to think we were his.
Officer Bill Gannon: [looks at the FBI kickback] I get the feeling I missed something Chicago PD.

Off. Dave Dorman: [points to a palm print on the wall] As Calvin Lampe would say there is a print you can get a ridge count from.
Officer Bill Gannon: Yeah.
Off. Dave Dorman: And he ourta know its his.


"Dragnet 1967: Homicide: Cigarette Butt (#4.7)" (1969)
Jack Burke: [screams at his wife who just ratted on him] You shut up you no good little tramp just shut up!
Officer Bill Gannon: Alright take it easy.
Jack Burke: What do you mean take it easy she just threw my life away?
Sergeant Joe Friday: No you did when you took his.


"Dragnet 1967: The Bullet (#1.17)" (1967)
Sergeant Joe Friday: [Murray hands Friday the bullet that killed Hamlin] I was expecting a quarter.
Ray Murray: And I handed you a penny a bad one.
Sergeant Joe Friday: [looks at the bullet] 6 left
Officer Bill Gannon: Automatic ammunition.
Ray Murray: Either a Browning or Luger both are common. Hamlin done an amazing thing he killed himself with a bullet that couldn't of possibly been fired from the gun he was holding.
Officer Bill Gannon: Yeah.
Ray Murray: You boys need to tear up your report no suicide here. You need to find a murder gun.


"Dragnet 1967: The Senior Citizen (#2.7)" (1967)
Officer Bill Gannon: [Smith posing as a dry cleaner] Are you their dry cleaner.
Charles Augustus William Smith: No I came to make love to the upstairs maid.


"Dragnet 1967: Administrative Vice: DR-29 (#3.17)" (1969)
Sergeant Joe Friday: How's the invalid?
Officer Bill Gannon: Oh, pretty good I guess. Pull up a chair, that red rocker there.
Sergeant Joe Friday: This one?
Officer Bill Gannon: Well, that's the only red rocker in the room, Joe. See how it rocks and it's all red?


"Dragnet 1967: The Big High (#2.8)" (1967)
[a young couple let their toddler drown in a bathtub while they were stoned]
Officer Bill Gannon: Joe, you can handle this for a minute, can't you?
Friday: You all right?
Officer Bill Gannon: First time since I've been on the job...
Friday: Yeah?
Officer Bill Gannon: I think I'm gonna be sick.
[hands the bag of marijuana to Friday and runs out of the room]


"Dragnet 1967: The Big Explosion (#1.2)" (1967)
[Friday and Gannon are interrogating Donald L. Chapman at his apartment after he had taken four cases of stolen dynamite with blasting caps and planted the resulting explosive somewhere]
Officer Bill Gannon: You expect us to believe you've got a closet full of dynamite and you don't know how it got in there?
Donald Chapman: How am I supposed to know? I hardly ever go into the closet.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Never mind the smart answers, Chapman. We can bust you right here for Receiving Stolen Property.
Donald Chapman: [cockily] So why don't you do it?
Sgt. Joe Friday: Just tell us what you did with that dynamite.
Donald Chapman: Maybe I'll change my mind. You said I don't have to talk to you. Maybe I won't.


"Dragnet 1967: Juvenile: DR-35 (#3.25)" (1969)
Officer Bill Gannon: [a nurse hands Gannon the baby's blanket] Grey who ever heard of a grey baby blanket it's suppose to be pink for a little girl.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Who ever heard of of a pink shroud?


"The Simpsons: Mother Simpson (#7.8)" (1995)
[the FBI breaks in looking for Mother Simpson]
Grampa: All right! I admit it! I'm the Lindbergh baby! Wah wah! Goo goo! I miss my fly-fly dada!
Bill Gannon: Are you stalling for time, or are you just senile?
Grampa: A little from column A, a little from column B.


"Dragnet 1967: The Big Departure (#2.25)" (1968)
Sergeant Joe Friday: Don't think you have a corner on all the virtue vision in the country or that everyone else is fat and selfish and yours is the first generation to come along that's felt dissatisfied. They all have, you know, about different things; and most of them didn't have the opportunity and freedoms that you have. Let's talk poverty. In most parts of the world, that's not a problem, it's a way of life. And rights? They're liable to give you a blank stare because they may not know what you're talking about. The fact is, more people are living better right here than anyone else ever before in history. So don't expect us to roll over and play dead when you say you're dissatisfied. It's not perfect, but it's a great deal better than when we grew up: a hundred men standing in the street hoping for one job, selling apples on the street corner. That's one of the things we were dissatisfied about, and you don't see that much anymore.
Officer Bill Gannon: You're taller, stronger, healthier, and you live longer than the last generation; and we don't think that's altogether bad. You've probably never seen a "Quarantine" sign on a neighbor's door. Diphtheria, scarlet fever, whooping cough; probably none of your classmates are crippled with polio. You don't see many mastoid scars anymore. We've done quite a bit of fighting all around the world. Whether you think it was moral or not a lot of people are free to make their own mistakes today because of it. And that may just include you.
Sergeant Joe Friday: I don't know, maybe part of it's the fact that you're in a hurry. You've grown up on instant orange juice. Flip a dial - instant entertainment. Dial seven digits - instant communication. Turn a key - push a pedal - instant transportation. Flash a card - instant money. Shove in a problem - push a few buttons - instant answers. But some problems you can't get quick answers for, no matter how much you want them. We took a little boy into Central Receiving Hospital yesterday; he's four years old. He weighs eight-and-a-half pounds. His parents just hadn't bothered to feed him. Now give me a fast answer to that one; one that'll stop that from ever happening again. And if you can't settle that one, how about the 55,000 Americans who'll die on the highway this year? That's nearly six or seven times the number that'll get killed in Vietnam. Why aren't you up in arms about that? Or is dying in a car somehow moral? Show me how to wipe out prejudice. I'll settle for the prejudices you have inside yourselves. Show me how to get rid of the unlimited capacity for human beings to make themselves believe they're somehow right - and justified - in stealing from somebody, or hurting somebody, and you'll just about put this place here out of business!
Officer Bill Gannon: Don't think we're telling you to lose your ideals or your sense of outrage. They're the only way things ever get done. And there's a lot more that still needs doing. And we hope you'll tackle it. You don't have to do anything dramatic like coming up with a better country. You can find enough to keep you busy right here. In the meantime, don't break things up in the name of progress or crack a placard stick over someone's head to make him see the light. Be careful of his rights. Because your property and your person and your rights aren't any better than his. And the next time you may be the one to get it. We remember a man who killed six million people, and called it social improvement.
Sergeant Joe Friday: Don't try to build a new country. Make this one work. It has for over four hundred years; and by the world's standards, that's hardly more than yesterday.


"Dragnet 1967: The Big Kids (#1.16)" (1967)
Capt. Lou Richey: It's not just a law enforcement problem, it's a community problem.
Sgt. John Pearson: Trouble is there's no community captain. These people come piling in from everywhere. They don't know each other and don't want to. They come out here, make a down payment on a house and move in with a couple of kids. That doesn't mean they made a home no more than givin' a name to a place
Sergeant Joe Friday: Yeah, and you get a little weary of hearing every kid give you the same excuse when you tag them. You don't understand. I just want to belong that's why I did it. Belong to what?
Capt. Lou Richey: What it boils down to is the new morality, doesn't it, a new set of values. God is dead. Drug addiction is mind expanding. Promiscuity is glamorous. Even homosexuality is praiseworthy. How you gonna fight that?
Officer Bill Gannon: It ain't easy.
Capt. Lou Richey: What you got to remember that, the vast majority of the juveniles are the kids next door. They're not hard core criminals. It's just that to them, it's a great deal more important to be accepted by the other kids than to please their parents.