Linc Hayes
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Quotes for
Linc Hayes (Character)
from "Mod Squad" (1968)

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"Mod Squad: Bad Man on Campus (#1.2)" (1968)
Pete Cochran: How does a high school kid get a gun?
Linc Hayes: Are you kidding, Pete? People can just walk up to a counter and buy one. Just like bubble gum.

Linc Hayes: There are those who look at things and ask why, I dream of things that never were and ask why not? Who said that?
Leila: A great man who died for it.

Pete Cochran: Did she listen?
Linc Hayes: I hope so.
[starts laughing]
Julie Barnes: What's so funny?
Linc Hayes: I wish someone would've said the same thing to me.

Pete Cochran: Big Daddy?
Julie Barnes: Modesty's not his bag.
Linc Hayes: Sounds like a B-movie - Teenage Loan Shark.

Leila: You sound more like a detective than a teacher.
Linc Hayes: A good teacher has to be a detective. He sees someone wasting it all he better find out why.


"Mod Squad: The Uptight Town (#1.19)" (1969)
Linc Hayes: [to the sheriff] You couldn't kill one cop... What are you gonna do with four?

Julie Barnes: [Discussing Captain Greer's disappearance] There must be something we can do.
Chief Barney Metcalf: Not this time. It's not your problem.
Linc Hayes: How do you tell a chief he's so wrong?

Linc Hayes: [Driving through the desert] Man, I've never seen anything like it before. Miles and miles of just plain nothin'. It's funny; I expect to see a lifeguard.
Pete Cochran: What?
Linc Hayes: City dude's logic. This much sand? It's just gotta lead to a beach. I'll let you in on a secret. In my whole life I've never been this far away from concrete. It's kinda different.

Linc Hayes: You don't think he bought the cover?
Pete Cochran: It's hard to tell, but I didn't buy his. Jennings, the cook, the nervous brother...
Linc Hayes: The jive grease monkey.
Pete Cochran: It's an uptight town, man. They're hiding something.
Linc Hayes: And if you're right about the hat, the captain's in the middle of it.

Pete Cochran: And when did you become John Wayne?
Linc Hayes: Oh, no, baby - Jim Brown.


"Mod Squad: A Reign of Guns (#1.20)" (1969)
Van Marney: [Sculpting a bust of his father] It's amazing. When his father found the steamship company things were so simple. You hired a man, paid him what he deserved. A fair wage for a good day's work.
Linc Hayes: The good old days, Mr. Marney?
Van Marney: Quite. Before the day of the anarchist, the agitator. Nobody told you whom to hore, what to pay them. There was no bargaining with rabble. A man earned the dollar or he did not. Simple.
Linc Hayes: And if there was no job he went hungry.
Pete Cochran: Are we here to talk about business or philosophy?
Van Marney: How does one really separate the two?

Van Marney: I think you already know what's happening here.
Linc Hayes: It doesn't take Einstein. A storehouse full of weapons, combat training, blue-eyed Nordic types. You're starting your own private army.
Van Marney: Somebody has to.
Pete Cochran: You gonna save the world, Marney?
Van Marney: What's worth saving.
Pete Cochran: That's Hitler's theme, a little variation.
Van Marney: Now you're bright, very bright. Can't you see what's happening to this country? In this country?
Linc Hayes: Yeah, loud and clear.
Van Marney: It's strength being sapped by its lowest elements: militants, protesters, agitators, anarchists. Grisly people reducing a civilization to rubble. Sooner or later the explosion will come. They'll kill each other off.
Pete Cochran: Somebody's got to pick up the pieces. Your little group?
Van Marney: The Brotherhood.
Linc Hayes: Twenty men?
Van Marney: Twenty at a time. Trained here and sent to other parts of the country to train others. Would a membership of... ten thousand impress you?
Linc Hayes: That's a lot of bedsheets.
Van Marney: Oh, you're wrong. We're not anti anything. We're just pro-American. All open and above board.

Pete Cochran: [Watching the weapons being loaded onto a truck] That's a beautiful sight.
Julie Barnes: Even more beautiful if all those guns were just dumped into the sea.
Capt. Adam Greer: Yeah, in about two hours, Julie. The tug's waiting. Our tug.
Julie Barnes: Wouldn't it be nice if all the guns in the world were on board?
Linc Hayes: Wouldn't change anything. It's not the guns; it's the people who use them.


"Mod Squad: The Teeth of the Barracuda (#1.1)" (1968)
Capt. Adam Greer: You! Name!
Linc Hayes: Whose name? Your name or my name or white name or black name?
Capt. Adam Greer: Name.
Linc Hayes: Hayes!
Capt. Adam Greer: First name?
Linc Hayes: Leeeeeeeeeen - coooonnn!

Linc Hayes: Oh, man, what a pad!
Pete Cochran: If you're a zombie.

Linc Hayes: What we have here is a failure to communicate.


"Mod Squad: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Starlet (#1.11)" (1968)
April Showers: He spends all night in that crummy room watching television.
Linc Hayes: Baby, you're talking about half the cats in the country.

Linc Hayes: Hey, man, don't get too healthy. Ya gotta be a little bit crazy to be an actor.


"Mod Squad: Flight Five Doesn't Answer (#1.15)" (1969)
Sol Albert: Is the Captain all right?
Pete Cochran: He's feeling much better.
Linc Hayes: Yeah, but wait till he gets my bill!

[last lines]
Pete Cochran: After today, man, I really believe that the best things in life are free.
Linc Hayes: Just being alive.
Pete Cochran: Just being alive.


The Mod Squad (1999)
[Julie hits Pete across the head]
Julie: Nice job.
Pete: Okay, I really did not like that at all, all right? Let me just explain somethin'. I was blending.
Julie: You just blended your ass right out of the club, man
Pete: Oh, come on! They're gonna let me back in the club.
Julie: Oh no, I believe the words were "you're gone for-f*cking-ever." Greer's gonna kick your ass
Pete: Hey you know what? Eat me.
Julie: Come on. Lets go. You wanna lose another fight, Petey?
Pete: No. Who was the guy that you were talkin' to all night?
Julie: What guy?
Pete: Yeah, "what guy." What guy?
Linc: A suspect?
Julie: What? No. I don't even know what he's talkin' about. God, how could you see anything? You had your head buried in a pair of tits all night.
Pete: I could see things because I got eyes behind my head, all right? Julie's got a boyfriend. Julie's got...
Julie: Please grow up!
Pete: Let's all together, in harmony.

Pete: Man this job sucks.
Linc: Beats jail.
Julie: A deal's a deal.


"Mod Squad: Shell Game (#1.16)" (1969)
Fin: Wait, I want you to meet a friend of ours, Jake Goldstrom.
Jake: You'll have to admit I had you fooled there for awhile.
Linc Hayes: I got news for you, friend. You'll never replace Sydney Greenstreet.

Jerry Kane: When they come back they can get me a doctor.
Linc Hayes: When they get back they'll get you a coroner.


"Mod Squad: My What a Pretty Bus (#1.3)" (1968)
Linc Hayes: The Maharishi said never drink champagne out of a paper cup.
Julie Barnes: Where was the Maharishi when we needed her?


"Mod Squad: Fear Is the Bucking Horse (#1.17)" (1969)
Linc Hayes: Well, let's just say Billy Kilgore isn't exactly Pat Boone.