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Quotes for
Leo (Character)
from "That '70s Show" (1998)

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"That '70s Show: Uncomfortable Ball Stuff (#4.7)" (2001)
Leo: So things went well with my probation officer. He even wants to see me for some additional years. He's a great guy, man.

[Leo hires Fez]
Leo: Alright, you're hired. But you're on probation. No wait, I'm on probation. I've gotta go see my probation officer, man.

[about Fez]
Leo: I don't like what's going on here, man. That little dude's making us all look bad. I'm afraid the boss is gonna fire me.
Steven Hyde: Leo, you are the boss.

[Fez needs money to buy new shoes]
Leo: Just do what I do and steal money from the register when the boss ain't looking.
Steven Hyde: Again, Leo, you are the boss.
Leo: And I'm not looking.
[Hyde takes some money from the register and gives it to Fez]

"That '70s Show: Canadian Road Trip (#3.23)" (2001)
Bryan: [after the RCMP officers discover Fez has his Green Card] Now, leave Canada please!
Leo: YOU leave Canada please!

Eric: Okay, guys. Road trip checklist. Car: Check. Okay. We're good.
Fez: Is there anything about Canada we need to know before we get there?
Steven Hyde: Well, the beer is stronger, and as a result, their women look prettier.
Fez: Then let's haul ass to Canada!
Eric: Okay. Shh. Fez. If my dad finds out that we're going to Canada uh, for beer, no less, he's gonna start killing people, okay? People like us. So keep it down.
Michael Kelso: [Runs up to the guys] All right! Canada! Whoo-hoo! Beer!
[blows his horn]
Eric: Kelso, you're not going.
Michael Kelso: What? Why not?
Steven Hyde: Because this is a risky mission and you tend to screw these things up.
Michael Kelso: That is a damnable lie!
Eric: Okay. Kelso, remember that time we were gonna put a flaming bag of dog poop in front of Principal Pridwell's door, and you lit it in the car on the way over?
Michael Kelso: Yeah, I wanted to see it all flamey.
Eric: And then you panicked and stepped on it.
Michael Kelso: Eric, it was on fire!
Eric: Okay, You're not going.
Michael Kelso: No, no, no. Fine. I won't use the air horn, and I'll pay for the gas and the beer
Eric: I can't stay mad at you... Come on, you big lug.
Leo: [already sitting in the backseat of the car] Hey, dudes.
Steven Hyde: Leo, man, what are you doin' here?
Leo: Sittin'. What are you doin' here?
Steven Hyde: We're goin' to Canada to buy beer.
Leo: Canada? Cool, man. I spent some time up there during 'Nam.
Eric: Oh, conscientious objector, huh?
Leo: No. I didn't mind. Hey, a road trip sounds good, man, but I don't want nothin' to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man.

Chris: What are you doing in Canada?
Leo: What are *you* doing in Canada?

Leo: You know why they call it beer?
Eric: No, why?
Leo: I'm just curious, man.

"That '70s Show: Ice Shack (#3.10)" (2001)
Leo: Wow, business really picked up with those "Buy one get one free coupons."
Steven Hyde: Yeah, because you forgot the "buy one" part.

Leo: I can't drive since my license got suspended.
Steven Hyde: What'd you do, man?
Leo: I dropped it in a glass of water and it just hung there... suspended. And while I was looking at it I ran a red light.

Steven Hyde: [Got pulled over by police and thought the bag Leo had was filled with illegal drugs] Dog food?
Leo: Yeah... oh wait. I mean if the dog food is in this bag then wheres... oh wow, I gotta check on my dog man!

"That '70s Show: Eric's Drunken Tattoo (#3.22)" (2001)
Leo: Ok, guys. I don't have any beer. I hate alcohol, and I won't have it in my house. So, we're gonna have to drink sake instead.

[Leo is giving Eric a tattoo on his butt]
Leo: Dude, Debbie is gonna be real happy about this.
Eric Forman: Who's Debbie?
Leo: Hello? Your girlfriend, Debbie? Jesus...
Eric Forman: Leo, her name is Donna.
Leo: Oh, I can fix that.

"That '70s Show: Moon Over Point Place (#2.26)" (2000)
[at Leo's photo hut, Jackie is talking to Leo while he looks at photos]
Jackie Burkhardt: Yeah, there's a lot of things about Steven that I used to not like. But now, I really like. Like... well, I thought his pork chop sideburns were a sign that he was poor and dirty and living in a shack. But then... but then I realized that Elvis had sideburns and he lived in Graceland. Well, that was an eye-opener...
[Hyde enters]
Jackie Burkhardt: There he is! Hi Steven!
Hyde: [to Leo] What is she doing here?
Leo: I think she is hitting on me, man. But I ain't interested. Tell her I ain't interested and make her go away.
Jackie Burkhardt: Hitting on you? I'm not hitting on you, you relic!
Leo: Hey, name calling is no way to win someone's heart.
Jackie Burkhardt: What are you talking about?
Leo: What are you talking about?
Jackie Burkhardt: What are you talking about?
Leo: What are you talking about?
Jackie Burkhardt: What are you talking about?
[Hyde leaves]
Leo: What are you talking about?
Jackie Burkhardt: Great! Now he got away! Steven!
[Jackie goes after Hyde]
Leo: [to himself] What was she talking about?

"That '70s Show: Bye Bye Basement (#4.5)" (2001)
[about redoing the basement]
Leo: Okay, we're all done.
Kitty Forman: But you've only been here a day.
Leo: You know what they say, Rome was built in a day.
Reginald "Red" Forman: No... Rome wasn't built in a day.
Leo: Oh... Your basement was built in a day.

"That '70s Show: Who Wants It More? (#3.11)" (2001)
Leo: I saw a UFO once, man. It was awesome. It just hung in the air, then it sent me a message. Big bright yellow letters saying I was going to have a good year.
Steven Hyde: Did this, by any chance, happen at a football game?
Leo: Yeah, man! And the weird thing is, I was the only one freaking out about it, man. Wait a second, good year, no, it was a terrible year, man. Stupid aliens.

"That '70s Show: Hyde's Father (#3.3)" (2000)
[to Bud]
Leo: Hey, nice shoes, man... Are those mine?

"That '70s Show: Love of My Life (#8.21)" (2006)
Leo: [Hyde re-joined the circle] Hyde man, it's good to have you back. It's like they always say, "Hey Leo, how's it going?"

"That '70s Show: Sleepover (#2.8)" (1999)
Steven Hyde: So, what do I do here anyway?
Leo: Well, I don't expect a lot, man. Like, pretty much, if the hut doesn't burn down, it's been a good day. And even if it burnt down, man, it's cool, 'cause I got three or four more of these little huts somewhere.