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Quotes for
Roger (Character)
from 101 Dalmatians (1961)

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101 Dalmatians (1961)
Cruella: When can the puppies leave their mother? Two weeks? Three weeks?
Roger: Never.
Cruella: What?
Roger: W-w-we're n-not s-selling t-the puppies. N-n-not a sing - a single one. Do you understand?
Cruella: Anita, is he serious? I really don't know Roger.
Anita: Well Cruella, he seems...
Cruella: Surely he must be joking!
Roger: No, no, no. I-I-I mean it. You're-you're not getting one. N-n-not one. And that's - that's final!
Cruella: Why, you horrid man! You - you - All right, keep the little beasts for all I care!
[she rips up the cheque]
Cruella: Do as you like with them! Drown them!
[she walks up to Anita]
Cruella: But I warn you, Anita, we're through. I'm through with all of you! I'll get even. Just wait. You'll be sorry! You fools! You - you idiots!

Roger: We'll buy a big place in the country. We'll have a plantation. A Dalmatian plantation!
Anita: Oh, Roger, that's truly an inspiration.
Nanny: It'll be a sensation!
[laughs]
Roger: We'll have a Dalmatian plantation. A Dalmatian plantation, I say.

Roger: Look, Anita! Puppies everywhere!
Anita: There must be a hundred of them!
Nanny: One, two, three and four. Seven, eight, nine.
Roger: Two more. Nine plus two is eleven.
Nanny: Thirty Six over here!
Roger: Thirty Six and eleven? That's forty seven.
Anita: Fourteen. Eighteen, Rog.
Roger: Uh, eh sixty five!
Nanny: Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!
Anita: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Six more.
Roger: Well, let's see, now. That's eighty four and fifteen plus two. A hundred and one!
Anita: A hundred and one? My, where did they all come from?
Roger: Oh ho, Pongo, you old rascal!

Roger: [singing] Ti tum ti ta ti / Ta tum ti ta tum.
[whistles]
Roger: Do you like my new song?
Anita: Ta tum ti ta tum. Such clever lyrics.
Roger: Melody first, my dear, and then the lyrics. Hmmm?

Roger: Oh, must be Cruella, your dearly devoted old schoolmate. Cruella De Vil. That's it!
[sings]
Roger: Cruella De Vil / Cruella De Vil / If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.
Anita: Oh, Roger!
Roger: To see her is to take a sudden chill / Cruella, Cruella / She's like a spider waiting for the kill.
Anita: Roger, she'll hear you.
Roger: Look out for Cruella De Vil.

Roger: At first you think Cruella is a devil / But after time has worn away the shock / You come to realize / You've seen her kind of eyes / Watching you from underneath a rock.
Anita: You're no help.
Roger: This vampire bat, this inhuman beast / She ought to be locked up and never released / The world was such a wholesome place until / Cruella, Cruella De Vil.

Cruella: [over the phone] Oh, Anita, what a dreadful day. I just saw the papers. I couldn't believe it.
Anita: Yes, Cruella, it was quite a shock.
Roger: What does she want? Is she calling to confess?
Anita: Roger, please!
Roger: Oh, she's a sly one, she is!

Anita: [as the soot covered Dalmatians barge into the Radcliffe house] What on earth?
Roger: What's with the Labradors?
Nanny: No, they're all covered in soot. Look, here's Lucky!
Roger: [wipes off Pongo's face] Why, Pongo Boy, is that you? Oh-ho! Pongo! Pongo! It's Pongo!
Anita: [wipes off Perdita's face] And Perdy! Oh, my darling!
Nanny: [dusts off the puppies one by one] And Rolly, and Penny, and Freckles! Oh, ho, ho! They're all here!
Roger: It's a miracle!
Anita: Oh Rog, what a wonderful Christmas present!

Nanny: The puppies are here! The puppies are here!
Roger: How many?
Nanny: Eight.
Roger: Eight?
[Pongo barks]
Roger: Pongo boy! Eight puppies!
Nanny: Ten.
Anita: Eleven!
Nanny: Eleven!
Roger: Eleven? Eleven puppies! Pongo, you old rascal!
Nanny: Wait a minute now. Wait a minute... Thirteen! No, no, no, fourteen. Oh, fifteen!
Roger: Fifteen?
Nanny: [chuckles to Pongo] And the mother is doing fine, love.
[Pongo walks around like he's drunk]
Roger: Why, Pongo boy, that's marvelous! It's fabulous! What a litter!
Nanny: [enters with a puppy under a blanket] Fourteen. Just fourteen. We lost one.
[hands it to Roger]
Nanny: Oh, the poor little thing.
[the room goes silent]
Roger: Oh, Pongo, boy, it's just one of those things. And yet... and yet I wonder...
[Roger starts rubbing the puppy for a little while, until suddenly, it starts to move]
Roger: Look, Pongo!
[the puppy is alive]
Roger: Anita! Nanny! Fifteen! We still have fifteen!
Anita: Oh, the dear thing is alright!
Roger: See? He's just as good as new!
Anita: Can you imagine, Rog? Fifteen puppies!

Anita: Roger, I admit she's eccentric, but she isn't a thief!
Roger: Well, she's still #1 suspect in my book!
Anita: Well, she's been investigated by Scotland Yard. What more do you want?
Roger: Oh, I don't know, darling. I don't know.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Shrewzie Watch/The Life You Save (#2.23)" (1997)
Cruella de Vil: You did keep my contract to buy the farm, Roska.
Roger Dearly: Oh, no! I'm not going to sign until I have a lawyer to look it over, maybe two.

Roger Dearly: Wait a minute, you were taking photos on the farm?
Cruella de Vil: Well, it's amazing what you can stumble across with a super telescopic antimorphic night vision lens.

[first lines]
Dr. Wetland: Oh, there can be no doubt. This is a specimen of genus isolatus slinkalongus, the elusive and very shy solitary tree shrewzle.
Anita Dearly: But, Dr. Weltand, I-I thought tree shrewzles were practically extinct.
Cruella de Vil: So did everyone, darling. There hasn't been one spotted locally for ages. Until now.
Dr. Wetland: When Ms. de Vil told me she took this photo on your farm, I nearly wept for joy.
Roger Dearly: Wait, wait a minute. You were taking photos on our farm?
Cruella de Vil: Well, it's amazing what you can stumble across with a super telescopic anamorphic night vision lens.
Lucky: Scam alert. Total scam alert. Cruella's up to something.

Dr. Wetland: Of course, being endangered, the shrewzle's habitat will have to be protected.
Roger Dearly: Protected?
Cruella de Vil: By environmental law, Rotter. Living so close to such a delicate creature will require you to make a few, uh, adjustments. Tell him, doctor.
Dr. Wetland: Under penalty of law, you will be required to
[clears throat]
Dr. Wetland: whisper when you talk, tiptoe when you walk, unplug all of your electrical appliances, and trade in your cars for llamas. Since the tree shrewzle is nocturnal, you must curtail all activity during its daylight sleep cycle. And, for the three months of its mating season, you have to wear blindfolds.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Tic Track Toe/Lucky All-Star (#2.2)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: Oh, Lucky. You know I can't stay mad at you. You're my favorite.
Cadpig: Gee, it's enough to make you want to toss your kibble.

Roger Dearly: My wipers look like Lucky!

Roger Dearly: [sees Lucky on his windshield wipers] Cool! My wipers look like Lucky!

[last lines]
Lucky: Sorry I was such a jerk.
Tripod: Well, I couldn't have done it without you helping us out of the mud.
Roger Dearly: Collars for everybody.


101 Dalmatians (1996)
Roger: Fools aren't born, Pongo; pretty girls make them in their spare time.

Roger: Do you want another cup of marriage, uh, tea?

Anita: [after believing Roger is taking Perdy, holding up her purse] Now, release my dog, or I'll hit you again!
Roger: Your dog?
Anita: Yes. That is my dog, will you let her go?
Roger: Excuse me.
[lifts Perdy's leg as Pongo hides his head, turns back to Anita]
Roger: He's a she.
Anita: [nods] Mm-hmm.
Roger: [Pongo appears from behind Anita; miserably] Hello, Pongo.
[Pongo whines]


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Good Neighbor Cruella/Animal House Party (#2.50)" (1998)
Anita Dearly: Roger, what's taking you so long?
Roger Dearly: Uh, I was making sure the oven is locked and the doors are off... uh, I mean...
Anita Dearly: Honey, why are you carrying my sewing machine?
Roger Dearly: Oops.

Roger Dearly: Is the bathtub running?
Anita Dearly: If it is, you'd better go out and catch it.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Leisure Lawsuit/Purred It Through the Grapevine (#2.4)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: [throws a frisbee] Wish it was that easy to get rid of Cruella. Maybe if I tied a dollar around it.

Roger Dearly: [throws a frisbee] Wish it was that easy to get rid of Cruella. Maybe if I tied a dollar around it...


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Home Is Where the Bark Is (#1.1)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: Of course, I know Cruella's behind all this! Who else delivers a message that's dry clean only?

Cruella de Vil: Welcome wagon! A special cake for my new neighbors.
Roger Dearly: "Happy Bar-Mitzvah, Howard?"
Cruella de Vil: Well, it's the only thing they had up at that old donut shack in Grutely. Memo to myself: Buy that donut shack in Grutely and fire everybody.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Every Little Crooked Nanny/Cone Head (#2.42)" (1998)
Roger Dearly: Is it my imagination or is that woman wearing our drapes?

Nanny: What just happened here?
Anita Dearly: Well, as near as I can tell, Cruella just wanted to meet our cows.
Roger Dearly: I will never figure that woman out.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: A Christmas Cruella (#1.11)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: Well, I wouldn't waste my breath wishing Cruella a Merry Christmas. She'd charge us for the air we breath if she could get away with it.

[last lines]
Cruella de Vil: I am so filled with the Christmas spirit, I'm even bringing gifts for all the dalmatians. Office supplies!
Rolly: Ugh. Some gifts. Not one festive cheese log.
Cadpig: Think positive. Think of all the collating you can do.
Anita Dearly: Um, thank you for the gifts, Cruella. But, well, I'm afraid we don't have anything for you. We didn't know you were coming.
Cruella de Vil: Oh, tut tut, darling. You're giving me a wonderful gift. This is the Christmas I've been wishing for. Puppies. Puppies! Woof-woof!
Roger Dearly: Cruella, no. Not Wizzer. Oh...
[Cruella picks up Wizzer, only to have him wet on her shirt]
Cruella de Vil: [sardonically] God bless us, every one.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: The Dogs of Devil/Dog's Best Friend (#1.10)" (1997)
[first lines]
Roger Dearly: Mustard. Relish. My pattented marshmallow eggplant dip. And it wouldn't be a picnic without those 101 hotdogs. Right, guys?

[last lines]
Roger Dearly: He's right over here, Mr. Swanson. Hey, Blaze. Guess who's here.
Mr. Swanson: Hey there, big fella. Yeah, I was so worried he'd get lost. You know he's never been out of Stiffle.
[Lucky, Rolly, Cadpig, and Spot stare at Blaze accusingly]
Blaze: You know you can... you can learn a lot from cartoons.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Smoke Detectors/Lobster Tale (#2.19)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: This is a smoke-free house. Not one cigarette touches your lips! You'll have to quit like I did: cold turkey!

Anita Dearly: Cruella, what's wrong?
Cruella de Vil: My bedroom! That's what's wrong! Burned to a crisp!
Roger Dearly: So, now it matches the kitchen, den and garage?
Cruella de Vil: Very amusing, Randy, but that's the least of my problems.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Two Faces of Anita (#2.6)" (1997)
[first lines]
Roger Dearly: We've gotta get this cake baked before Anita comes home from work. So what do you think, Roll'ster, German chocolate or cinnamon spice?
[Rolly barks]
Roger Dearly: Both, huh? Well, that's an idea. Yeah, maybe we could combine 'em and make one big German cinnamon chocolate spice cake.
Lucky: Why are we baking her a cake now? She hasn't won the Designer of the Year award yet. She's only been nominated.
Cadpig: It is an honor just to be nominated. Of course, winning adds in the joy of rubbing everybody's nose in it.
Spot: Well, win or lose, Anita's really going to love this cake. I just hope Cruella doesn't keep her working all night.

Waiter: Something wrong?
Roger Dearly: I thought the husband of the winner would rate a better table.
Waiter: The husband of the winner usually doesn't bring pets wearing his suspenders.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Virtual Lucky (#2.35)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: No, Lucky. This isn't a game for pets.
Cruella de Vil: Here! Let me have a go at this!
Roger Dearly: No, Cruella. This isn't a game for pests... uh, I mean, uh... fashion designers.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Valentine Daze (#2.17)" (1997)
Anita Dearly: What's in the box, dear?
Roger Dearly: [Roger is hiding a box in the back of his shirt] What box? Oh, oh, you mean this box? Oh. I'm, uh, I'm working on new video game, the Hunchbox of Notre Dame.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Treasure of Swamp Island/Lord of the Termites (#2.25)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: Anita, is someone here?
Anita Dearly: It's Cruella, dear.
Roger Dearly: Bring her in here. Maybe she can scare the termites to death.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: You Slipped a Disk/Chow About That? (#2.1)" (1997)
[first lines]
Roger Dearly: [programming a computer game] Oh, this is good. This is very good. M-my best work yet. Oh, I've outdone myself.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Dalmatian Vacation, Part 1: Road Warriors (#2.51)" (1998)
Roger Dearly: Uh... I think the pups want to stop.
Cruella de Vil: At a dog food factory? Over my dead body.
[the pups flatten her]
Roger Dearly: Close enough.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: The Fungus Among Us (#2.7)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: [throwing a Frisbee] Here we go again.
Rolly: He throws. You bring it back. He throws it again. Yeesh. Am I the only one who realizes this is pointless?


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Oozy Does It/Barnboozled (#2.13)" (1997)
[last lines]
Roger Dearly: Well, Cruella, you left the barn. From now on, we own it and the puppies stay.
Cruella de Vil: [coughing] Fine.


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Cupid Pup (#2.36)" (1997)
Anita Dearly: Cruella, you're getting married! Who's the lucky...
Roger Dearly: Victim?


"101 Dalmatians: The Series: Shake, Rattle and Woof/Cadpig Behind Bars (#2.3)" (1997)
Roger Dearly: How do I know you're not making the same old empty promises?
Cruella de Vil: Oh, don't be ridiculous. These are brand new empty promises.