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Quotes for
Wilbur (Character)
from Charlotte's Web (1973)

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Charlotte's Web (1973)
Wilbur: [singing] Isn't it great, that I articulate? / Isn't it grand? That you can understand / I don't honk, I don't *eep*, I don't even squeak or squawk / When I wanna say a-something, I open up and talk, I can talk, I can talk, talk, talk, I can...
Ram: Why don't you keep it down?
Wilbur: I can talk!

Charlotte: Salutations.
Wilbur: Salu-what?
Charlotte: Salutations.
Wilbur: What are they? And where are you?
Charlotte: Salutations are greetings; it's my fancy way of saying hello.

Wilbur: I didn't know you could lay eggs.
Charlotte: Oh yes. I'm versatile.
Wilbur: Does versatile mean "full of eggs"?
Charlotte: [chuckling] Certainly not. Versatile means I can turn with ease from one thing to another.

[at the meeting, Charlotte is looking for a new message to write in her web]
Lamb: How about "Pig Supreme"?
Charlotte: Mmmm... no good. It sounds like a rich dessert.
[Templeton walks past with an apple core towards the trough, and Charlotte glares at Templeton]
Goose: How about terrific, terrific, terrific?
Charlotte: Cut that down to *one* terrific, and it will do nicely. I think "terrific" will impress Zuckerman.
Wilbur: But Charlotte, I'm not terrific.
Charlotte: You're terrific, as far as I am concerned.
[Templeton, while holding an orange peel in his mouth, smacks Wilbur's face with his tail and walks off to the trough]
Charlotte: [after glaring at Templeton] And does anybody know how to spell it?
Goose: I think it's T, double-E, double-R, double-R, double-I, double-F, double-I, double-C, C, C!
Charlotte: [Charlotte's remark, from shock back to the goose] What kind of acrobat do you think I am? It would take me all night to write that.

Ram: Sheep do not play with pigs.
Wilbur: Why not?
Ram: Oh, it's a matter of status. Sheep, for instance, are highly regarded by Zuckerman, because we furnish him with good quality wool. With pigs, on the other hand, it's just a matter of time.
Wilbur: Time to what?
Ram: Till you're fat enough to kill.
Wilbur: What did you say?
Ram: Oh, everybody knows it. In the fall, you'll be turned into smoked bacon and ham. Just as soon as cold weather sets in, they'll kill you.

Wilbur: Will you play with me?
Goose: I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbit! I'm staying here and hatching my goslings.

[after the goose's eggs have hatched]
Wilbur: Congratulations! How many are there?
Goose: There are seven.
Charlotte: Seven is a lucky number.
Goose: Luck has nothing to do with it! It was good management and hard work!
Templeton: [looking at a solitary unhatched egg] Why didn't, uh, this one hatch?
Goose: [gloomily] It's a dud, I guess.
Templeton: What are you going to do with it?
Goose: [sternly] You can have it. Roll it away and add it to that nasty collection of yours! Be careful - a rotten egg can be a regular stink bomb!
Templeton: [patting the egg] I know what I'm doing. I handle stuff like this all the time.
[Templeton rolls the egg away and buries it in his hole]

Templeton: [reading the clipping] It says "Crunchy."
Charlotte: No, that's wrong. It could start Zuckerman thinking about crunchy bacon.
Wilbur: Ohhh!
Charlotte: [sternly] Wilbur, I forbid you to faint!

Wilbur: Are you writers?
Charlotte's daughters: No, but we will be when we grow up.
Wilbur: Then write this in your webs, when you learn: This hallowed doorway was once the home of Charlotte. She was brilliant, beautiful, and loyal to the end. Her memory will be treasured forever.
Charlotte's daughters: Ooh, that would take us a lifetime.
Wilbur: A lifetime. That's what we have.

Wilbur: I think you're beautiful.
Charlotte: Well, I am pretty. Nearly all spiders are good looking. I'm not as flashy as some, but I'll do.

[Templeton returns from a night of overeating]
Templeton: [hiccups] I'm back.
[Charlotte and Wilbur glare at him]
Templeton: What a night! Never have I seen such leavings! Everything well ripened, seasoned with the passage of time and the heat of the day... Oh, it was rich, my friends, riiiiiich!
Charlotte: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. It would serve you right if you had an acute attack of indigestion.
[Templeton hiccups agains and pats his stomach]
Templeton: My stomach can handle anything.
Wilbur: Templeton, if you weren't so dopey, you would have noticed that Charlotte's made an egg sac.
[Templeton gazes toward the ceiling and sees Charlotte's egg sac]
Templeton: [hiccups] Hooray for Charlotte.
Wilbur: She's going to become a mother. For *your* information, there are 514 eggs in that peachy, little sac.
Templeton: [sarcastically] This *has* been a night.
[Templeton crawls over to Wilbur's pen and hiccups again]

[a fly lands in Charlotte's web]
Charlotte: Just a minute, Wilbur.
[she climbs up and wraps the fly]
Charlotte: He'll make a perfect breakfast for me.
Wilbur: [shuddering] Ooooh. You mean you eat flies?
Charlotte: Why, certainly. I eat anything that gets caught in my web. I have to live, don't I?
Wilbur: [nervously] Why, yes, of course. Do they taste good?
Charlotte: Delicious.
Wilbur: LECCH!
Charlotte: Course, I don't really *eat* them, I drink their blood. I love blood.
Wilbur: [gasps] Oh, please don't say things like that.
Charlotte: Why not? It's true.
Wilbur: But it's *cruel*.
Charlotte: Well, *you* can't talk. You have your meals brought to you in a pail. Nobody feeds me. I live by my wits.
Wilbur: It just seems an odd sort of diet.
Charlotte: Do you realize that if I didn't eat them, bugs would get so numerous, they'd destroy the earth? Spiders are really very useful creatures.

Charlotte: Do you want a friend?
Wilbur: Yes! I want a friend, but I want to live, too.

Goose: You have a good home home here. Why aren't you happy happy happy?
Wilbur: I miss Fern.

Charlotte's Web (2006)
Templeton: You're a pig! Pig equals slop. The rat is happy!
Wilbur: My name's Wilbur! Do you have a name or is it just 'The Rat'?
Templeton: Did you say 'just the rat'? For your information, pig: The rat rules! We were here long before your kind and we'll be here long after. So, you just keep that in mind next time you feel like reducing me to just 'the rat'.
Wilbur: You called yourself 'The Rat'.
Templeton: I can call me that. You can't.

Wilbur: So you eat flies?
Charlotte A. Cavatica: No... no, no. I drink their blood.
Ike: [faints]

Templeton: Look at her! Don't you think she's a little... uh... what's the word? EW!
Wilbur: I think she's beautiful.

Charlotte A. Cavatica: Wilbur, we're born, we live, and when our time comes, we die. It's just the natural cycle of life.
Wilbur: No! No! Just climb down. I'll carry you the rest of the way! We'll go back to the barn and I'll take care of you!
Charlotte A. Cavatica: No, Wilbur. I don't even have the strength to climb down.
Wilbur: You have to. You've done so much for me!
Charlotte A. Cavatica: And it was my great pleasure.

Charlotte A. Cavatica: Goodbye... my sweet, sweet Wilbur.
Wilbur: Goodbye, Charlotte. I love you.

Wilbur: Since you said salu-what, does this mean you're my friend?
Charlotte A. Cavatica: Well, let me think... Hmmm... Well... Yes.
Wilbur: Ya-hooo!

[repeated line]
Wilbur: Great name!

Wilbur: Templeton, Charlotte is very sick.
Templeton: Yeah, and twisted.

Wilbur: [Wilber bangs his head into the fence and runs]
Golly the Goose: [Flies to the fence, lands on it and stops] Run pig! Be free! I would if I could.
Gussy the Goose: [Golly goes back inside the barn] Golly, did I hear you say you would be free if you could?
Golly the Goose: I meant if I were a pig.

Wilbur: [looking at Charlotte's new web, at the fair] It's a great word. It's just...
Charlotte A. Cavatica: Just what?
Wilbur: Is it the right word? Is it true? 'cause I don't really feel like I deserve any of the things you've written about me.
Charlotte A. Cavatica: Then it is the *perfect* word.
[Charlotte looks up at her web, which says "HUMBLE"]

Wilbur: [about Charlotte] She's dying! She can't go home with us. So I need you to help me take her egg sac with us.
Templeton: Did you say "eggs"?
Wilbur: It's an egg *sac*, and it's right up there, and it has her children in it. And I can't just leave it here. What if something happened to them? Now, I can't reach it, so I need you to get it for me. And I need you to do it now!
Templeton: I don't think I like your tone.
Wilbur: Can't you just once in your life think of someone other than yourself?
Templeton: Once? Once?
Wilbur: Come on.
Templeton: No, you come on! Who got his hindquarters pecked to make you "radiant," huh? Templeton, that's who. And who interrupted the gorging of a lifetime so you could be "humble"? Why, I think it was... Templeton! Templeton, Templeton, Tem-ple-ton! And do I get thanked? No! Well, has it ever occurred to you that even a rat might like a little appreciation? A little, dare I say, love?
Wilbur: Do it and you'll get dibs on my slop for the rest of my life.
Templeton: Done.

Wilbur: Joy, Aranea, Nellie, you have chosen a hallowed doorway, in which to spin your webs. This was your mother's doorway. She was loyal, brilliant, beautiful, and she was my friend. I will treasure her memory forever. So, to you, her daughters, I pledge my friendship.