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Quotes for
Linda Fusco (Character)
from "Monk" (2002)

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"Monk: Mr. Monk, Private Eye (#5.5)" (2006)
Natalie Teeger: It took Grandpa Neville's business a whole year before it finally took off!
Adrian Monk: Not everyone feels the same way you do about Grandpa Neville! For example, I was just thinking about how fun it would be to dig up his body and poke it with a bi-i-ig stick.
[They don't see Linda Fusco enter]
Linda Fusco: Who's Grandpa Neville? And why are we poking him with a stick?

Lt. Randall Disher: The sign said that you were the number one realtor in Northern California.
Linda Fusco: [sarcastically] Tell me something I don't know.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [drolly] The elephant's the only mammal that can't jump.
Linda Fusco: [perplexed] Pardon me?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You said tell you something you don't know, and I told you that the only mammal who can't jump is your elephant.

[Natalie, Stottlemeyer, and Disher finally locate Monk in the sea]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Hey, there he is! There's Monk! Twenty degrees to port.
Lt. Randall Disher: What's that next to him, is it a life preserver?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Nah, it looks like a toilet seat.
Linda Fusco: Well, if it's floating, why doesn't he just grab it?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, Lt. Randall Disher, Natalie Teeger: Uhhh...


"Monk: Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan (#6.1)" (2007)
Linda Fusco: What does a girl to do to get a little attention from you? Kill someone?


"Monk: Mr. Monk and the Bad Girlfriend (#6.4)" (2007)
Linda Fusco: [Monk] said that he would set me up and frame me for the murder if I didn't sleep with him.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [confused] Adrian Monk wanted to sleep with you?
[He knows that Monk would never do such a thing, unless of course he was on medicine]