Billie Newman
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Quotes for
Billie Newman (Character)
from "Lou Grant" (1977)

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"Lou Grant: Pack (#4.3)" (1980)
Billie Newman: You know Lou Grant?
Flo Meredith: Kind of. We almost got married once.
Billie Newman: Almost?
Flo Meredith: Well, he asked me and I said no, and then after a while I thought it over, but I guess he thought it over too and... he never asked me again.

Lou Grant: [on phone] Billie, I want that interview. The stuff we're getting from you we could pull off the wires.
Billie Newman: [in telephone booth] Oh, come on, Lou, that's not fair. I hardly have time to eat. Even the other writers have trouble.
Lou Grant: I don't care if you eat, I don't care about other writers. Now, that, that's part of your problem: you're awed by those guys. You're so impressed you can't write. Now, you got anything else for me?
Billie Newman: [annoyed] Yeah. Flo Meredith says hi.
Lou Grant: [brightens up] Flo? Oh, now listen, tell her -
[Billie hangs up]

Billie Newman: I'm sorry, I thought you'd be up.
Benson: Newman, is it?
Billie Newman: Yeah.
Benson: Look, ehm, everyone knows this is the first chance I've had to sleep in a week. I'm surprised nobody told you.

Benson: [Animal has been using Billie's hotel room shower when Benson enters] Oh, eh, pardon me, eh... I-I'll come back.
Billie Newman: It's okay, he comes with the room. Eh, we're just sharing temporarilly. Eh Griff, this is eh, one of our photographers, Animal.
Dennis "Animal" Price: [extends his hand] Dennis Price. She just calls me 'Animal'.

Billie Newman: [on phone in hotel room] We've been getting cold sandwiches for lunch.
Lou Grant: [on other line, expressing mock sympathy] Aaah...
Billie Newman: Nooooo, you don't understand. Up 'till now, everthing has been first cabin. We've had hot lunches and nice hotels, and now we're lucky if we get a stale cheese sandwich for lunch and the cockroaches in the rooms are so big we give them names.

"Lou Grant: Murder (#2.5)" (1978)
Lou Grant: [on phone at the Tribune] Eh, you're in pretty rough territory, be careful.
Billie Newman: [on carphone] The Animal's here with me.
Lou Grant: Yeah, don't let anybody hurt him.

Joe Rossi: I've got to hand it to me: this is good. I'm a good writer.
Billie Newman: And modest, too.
Joe Rossi: Modesty is the opiate of the mediocre.

Billie Newman: It's not vanity...
Lou Grant: It never is.
Billie Newman: ...but I'd like to know how my story can be so unimportant as to end up on page 26 opposite the shipping news.
Art Donovan: Shipping news is important. It's not as important as it was in the old U-Boat days, sure, but it's still the first thing I turn to in the morning.

Billie Newman: [having just angrily hung up her phone] That was your friend, Higgins at the Hall of Records.
Joe Rossi: [giggles] He's a character, ain't he?
Billie Newman: [mock laughter] Ah, haha, I can think of a better word to describe him.
Joe Rossi: You know, Higgins can be very helpful sometimes.
Billie Newman: Did he ever ask you to sleep with him in return for his help?
Joe Rossi: He asked me to go camping with him, once...

Barbara Shaw: I just wanted to thank you.
Billie Newman: Oh, don't.
Barbara Shaw: I'm gonna save your stories about Marla and Lisa. And when she's old enough, I'll show them to her. She should know about her mother. About what happened. And, that someone cared about it.

"Lou Grant: Nazi (#1.5)" (1977)
Lou Grant: You're taking stupid chances meeting him alone.
Billie Newman: You wouldn't say that to Rossi.
Lou Grant: I encourage Rossi to take stupid chances. But anybody else I would warn, man or woman.

Wilson: [wearing a nazi uniform] Can I see some I.D., please?
Billie Newman: [puts on a German accent] Where are your papers?
Wilson: [she hands over her I.D. and helps him to open it. He writes down her name] You know, we gotta be very careful. We got a lotta nuts coming in here.
[hands it back]

Wilson: [offers Billie some pamflets to choose from] That one in the corner up there, I wrote that myself.
Billie Newman: [picks it up] Imagine meeting the man who wrote "Race mixing and sex education in our public schools".
Wilson: [oblivious to her sarcasm] I got some stuff comin' up now that's even better...

Billie Newman: There's nobody left to talk to. I did three more teachers, all the students I could track down and now this psychiatrist. The only way I could inverview more people would be to ask "How come you didn't know Donald Sterner?"

"Lou Grant: Ghosts (#5.10)" (1982)
Lou Grant: [holding a picture of a book lying on the floor] I love it! A book on the floor. Stop the presses!
Billie Newman: Yeah, but a second before it was on the shelf.
Lou Grant: Stop the presses again!

Joe Rossi: [Billie just mentioned Kirlian photography] You mean taking pictures of auras?
Billie Newman: Right.
Joe Rossi: [to Lou] That's the energy given off by living things.
Charlie Hume: Yeah, but the army now claims that auras are nothing more than body moisture interacting with the Earth's magnetic field. They've gotten pictures of auras around wet sponges and bowls of spaghetti.
Joe Rossi: [stands up to leave] Hey, that research is important. I've heard the Russians have a spaghetti bomb.

Charlie Hume: Marion had another dream last night, she's quite disturbed by it. She said there was a new man in the City Room, who was in terrible danger. She saw blood all over the place. I know it sounds silly, but she didn't sleep all night.
Lou Grant: There are no new men around here.
Art Donovan: No new women...
Charlie Hume: Sorry I asked.
Billie Newman: [they walk past Billie who picks up her phone] Billie Newman...

Alex Conrad: Lucille, do we know if there's been a poltergeist agent anywhere in the house?
Billie Newman: What's that?
Dr. Haas: There is a correlation between poltergeist activity and the presence of teenagers, especially adolescent girls. Unconsciously, they project sexual energy into the environment, causing things to happen... objects to fly, doors to open.

"Lou Grant: Henhouse (#1.4)" (1977)
Billie Newman: [at the airport] Are you Joe Rossi?
Joe Rossi: Yeah.
Billie Newman: [sighs with relief] I didn't know how I was gonna recognize you, but it's interesting how I picked you out.
[no reaction from Rossi]
Billie Newman: Well, from the typewriter, of course.
[indicating the case he's carrying]
Joe Rossi: That's not my typewriter, it's my toilet kit.

Joe Rossi: Whats your name again?
Billie Newman: Billie Newman.
Joe Rossi: Billie. Can't feature a reporter named Billie.
Billie Newman: How 'bout a President named Jimmy? You know, it's really 'Billie Jo', but, eh, I knocked off the last part to make it sound more professional.
Joe Rossi: It didn't work.

Billie Newman: Am I boring you?
Joe Rossi: Not at all, I'm not listening.

Joe Rossi: I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep.
Billie Newman: Well, if you couldn't sleep, I'm certainly glad you woke me up. I mean, one thing I really don't wanna do is be sleeping when you're having a hard time.

"Lou Grant: Catch (#4.8)" (1981)
Laurel Gough: Ray didn't tell me that you were coming. I hope the guard in the lobby didn't give you trouble?
Billie Newman: Hm, no, I always look like I know where I'm going, even when I don't.
Laurel Gough: I'll tell Ray you're here. I'll tell the guard you're here, too.
Billie Newman: Maybe you'd also better tell Ray that I write for the Tribune.
Laurel Gough: [catches on] Oh... I'll see if he's in.

Billie Newman: [having identified a bunch of names as baseball players] Well, they all have their signatures on a baseball at K.D.F. properties offices. And I have a hunch that they all have something to do with Horsehide Enterprises.
Lou Grant: They certainly do. Horsehide is a slang expression for baseball.
Billie Newman: Yeah?
Art Donovan: That's what baseballs are made out of.
Billie Newman: [sadly] Horses?
Art Donovan: No, probably old, unhappy horses.

Billie Newman: Would you at least let me get an interview out of this?
Ted McCovey: Sure, if you drive me back to my hotel.
Billie Newman: They make you Man of the Year and they don't give you a ride?
Ted McCovey: I tell 'em I only need a car one way. Ballplayers can always get a lift back.

Art Donovan: [Billie is telling Art she broke up with Ted] Billie, you got a lot of friends out there.
Billie Newman: I know.
Art Donovan: Don't pick me to tell this to. I'm the least good person to be listening to how some no-neck's got you tied up in knots.

"Lou Grant: Wedding (#5.1)" (1981)
Lou Grant: What does smog do to you?
Billie Newman: It makes my eyes water.
Lou Grant: As a story?
Billie Newman: It makes my mouth water.
Lou Grant: Boy, you're perky this evening. Perky doesn't work on you.

Billie Newman: Doctor Stiefel?
Carlton Stiefel: Yes?
Billie Newman: I'm Billie Newman from the Tribune.
Carlton Stiefel: Oh.
Billie Newman: Can I walk you to your car?
Carlton Stiefel: Well, shouldn't I walk you to your car?
Billie Newman: We're probably in the same lot...

Billie Newman: You scare me. You touch something inside of me that makes me feel out of control. And it's what I really love about us being together, but... it's also real hard for me. It's so hard that I was willing to blow everything not to have to face it. But I can't do that because I love you too much. So, if you still want me, I'm available.
Ted McCovey: Billie, I want you forever.

Art Donovan: You know what they call a newspaper that insists on publihing stories that people don't wanna read?
Billie Newman: 'Professional'.
Art Donovan: 'Out of business'.

"Lou Grant: Hooker (#2.3)" (1978)
Sergeant Roche: That's why my mother always washes the dishes, right after each meal, during the meal even.
Billie Newman: Why?
Sergeant Roche: 'Cause you could get killed and, eh, strangers could come into your house and see unwashed dishes.

Billie Newman: Ah nuts!
Joe Rossi: Hang around with hookers, your language gets awful raunchy.

Billie Newman: Cereal, in the middle of the night?
Lou Grant: Sometimes I eat breakfast before I go to bed, saves having to do it in the morning.

"Lou Grant: Kidnap (#3.9)" (1979)
Billie Newman: I was just leaving.
Lou Grant: That's right, you're going to Tedesca.

Billie Newman: Lou, can't I go home first?
Lou Grant: You don't have time!
Billie Newman: Well what am I gonna do for clothes?
Animal: If we're only gonna be gone two or three days, why do you need clothes?

Billie Newman: Rossi, that was really lousy.
Joe Rossi: What?
Billie Newman: What, what? You told me that creep was with the FBI.
Joe Rossi: No I didn't, you said FBI. I said 'What other kind of agents are there?' He's one of the other kind.

"Lou Grant: Inheritance (#3.17)" (1980)
Lou Grant: Don't you talk to your mother? She's sleeping in your living room.
Billie Newman: I can't talk to her about these things, Lou, she's old fashioned.
Lou Grant: Slip her a note at the dinner table, that way you won't have to say it out loud.

Billie Newman: Lou, I've got to to South Dakota.
Lou Grant: Have you ever been to South Dakota this time of year?
Billie Newman: I grew up there, remember?
Lou Grant: Then you should know better.

Mrs. Pynchon: You know, I read your story on the DES daughter, I thought it was well handled. You really made me see the suffering those two women went through.
Billie Newman: Well, that's my job.
Mrs. Pynchon: But I find it hard believing I'm talking to the writer of that article...
Billie Newman: Why?
Mrs. Pynchon: Because you could understand that mother so well, but you can't see what your own mother's going through.

"Lou Grant: Romance (#2.24)" (1979)
Art Donovan: Poor Driscoll. Still thinking that any story with the word 'infant' in it automatically goes to a woman. Do you want me to give it back to him to flesh it out?
Billie Newman: Hold it, hold it. If I'm willing to put up with Driscoll calling me 'Doll Face', you guys ought to let me profit from it. I want that story.
Art Donovan: [Lou is a bit hesitant] Go on, I wanna see how Doll Face handles it.

Lou Grant: How's your research on teenage pregnancy going?
Billie Newman: Oh, fine...
[picks up her notes]
Billie Newman: 45.000 teenagers got pregnant in California last year. 94 per cent of teenage girls who get pregnant end up trying to raise the babies themselves, babies of young teens are two to three times more likely to die in their first year, and...
Lou Grant: One hundred per cent of editors in this City Room are getting very depressed...

Billie Newman: Usually when I feel lousy like this, Lou lets me spill it out on him.
Charlie Hume: He's one lucky guy.

"Lou Grant: Babies (#2.10)" (1978)
Billie Newman: How do they get the babies in the first place?
McIntyre: Advertise for 'em.
Lou Grant: Advertise? What magazines do babies read?

Billie Newman: [on phone in sleazy hotel] Nothing. There's nothing to do. We watched a movie on television...
Lou Grant: [on other line, at home] You're just like me. As soon as I get into a hotel I start watching old movies. What'd you see?
Billie Newman: "Swinging in the Rain" and "What Happened to Bonnie".
Lou Grant: What's that, a whodunit?
Billie Newman: No, no... this movie is more like an 'everybody done it'.

Billie Newman: I'll tell you, Lou, next time I do a story like this, It'll be a lot faster if I just had the baby myself.

"Lou Grant: Cover-Up (#3.16)" (1980)
Rudy: [refusing to allow Billie Newman onto the Valley Studio lot] Come on, miss, you can't block the gate.
Joe Rossi: Morning.
Rudy: I'll be right with you, Mr. Rossi.
Joe Rossi: It's ok, Rudy, she's with me.
Rudy: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Rossi.
Billie Newman: Why are you saying you're sorry to him?

Billie Newman: Isn't it a little early for beer?
Robustelli: Early? I get up at three a.m. My day is half over.

Art Donovan: Isn't eleven in the morning a little early for lunch?
Billie Newman: My day's half over.

"Lou Grant: Stroke (#4.20)" (1981)
Billie Newman: What'd you tell 'em?
Rick Henshaw: I told 'em to kiss off!
[Billie giggles]
Rick Henshaw: But not in those words.

Billie Newman: [about Suave Magazine's Mascot of the Month] It's all fantasy, isn't it? To think that you can live forever in one perfect photograph.
Art Donovan: [taking the magazine from Animal] And that is a perfect photograph. This is the kind of magazine Mrs. Pynchon ought to buy instead of 'Lively Arts'.

"Lou Grant: Hero (#1.16)" (1978)
Art Donovan: How come you're always working on stories that people don't care about?
Billie Newman: If people don't care, I'll make them care. You can't believe what these women are up against.
Art Donovan: You know, you're cute when you're zealous.

Art Donovan: Look, you don't have to keep calling me 'Donovan'. Why don't we call each other Art... and Newman.
Billie Newman: Ok, Art.

"Lou Grant: Libel (#4.6)" (1980)
Billie Newman: And what about the photographs? I, I have glanced through several copies of the Spectator, and I noticed he always uses the most unflattering photos he could find.
Clive Whitcomb: [laughs] Yes, the Rembrandt of Bad Lighting.
[another short burst of laughter]
Clive Whitcomb: He could make a beauty queen look like Quasimodo.

Billie Newman: But regardless of whom they are, should they be victimized by distorsions and, eh, different versions of the truth?
Clive Whitcomb: Oh, it's, eh, not different versions of truth, Miss Newman.
Billie Newman: What is it, then?
Clive Whitcomb: Lies.

"Lou Grant: Frame-Up (#3.5)" (1979)
Billie Newman: I need more time, Lou.
Lou Grant: Take all the time you want. Take four, five minutes.
Billie Newman: Can I have fifteen?
Lou Grant: No problem, we'll just run a headline saying: 'watch this space'.

Shirley Hagen: Oh, my name is, eh, Shirley, Shirley Hagen.
Billie Newman: Billie. Billie Newman.
Shirley Hagen: Oh. Sounds like we should've had each others name.

"Lou Grant: Aftershock (#1.6)" (1977)
Lou Grant: Duncan was with a woman when he died.
Billie Newman: He was In Flagrante Delicto?
Art Donovan: What does that mean?
Billie Newman: It means he died with her boots on.

Lou Grant: What do you do when guys cling to you?
Billie Newman: Well, mostly I cling back.

"Lou Grant: Marathon (#2.21)" (1979)
Billie Newman: We may be losing an editor.
Joe Rossi: Which one?
Billie Newman: Well, I'll give you a hint: he's got a nice sense of humor, a sharp blue pencil and he was born wearing a vest.
Joe Rossi: [quietly] Donovan?
Billie Newman: He got offered a really good job.
Joe Rossi: Modeling clothes in a department store window?

Billie Newman: If being obnoxious is just a tactic, how come you never turn it off?
Joe Rossi: I'm waiting for the right moment.

"Lou Grant: Indians (#3.15)" (1980)
Billie Newman: Big Joke.
Howard Sweetwater: [shrugs] Well, you're so small... and... car's so small... and... you gave it such a great, big kick.

Animal: I can't see Raymond ever making it in a public school, he's just gonna keep running away.
Billie Newman: What about an Indian school?
Animal: Didn't know they had any.
Charlie Hume: Don't you ever read the 'Trib?
Billie Newman: I did a piece on it, Animal.

"Lou Grant: Dying (#2.6)" (1978)
Billie Newman: You know those Samurai movies where the guy gets sliced up so fast you can't even see the sword?
Lou Grant: Sure.
Billie Newman: That's how Donovan edits your copy. Slump! "War and Peace" is just "War" and you're not even bleeding.

Billie Newman: I will get you for this.
Joe Rossi: Now let's talk about that. Why do you suppose you're so thin skinned about criticism?
Billie Newman: The days will pass... we'll go our separate ways... you'll drop your guard and I will get you.
Joe Rossi: Why are you lowering this discussion to such a childish level?
Lou Grant: [Lou steps inbetween Billie and Rossi] Billie, go away for five minutes.
Billie Newman: Lou, just let me explain.
Lou Grant: Billie, go down the hall and kick the broken candy machine. Trust me, your problems will disappear.

"Lou Grant: Hazard (#3.24)" (1980)
Lou Grant: What's up, Lou?
Billie Newman: You know any good places to eat in Lompoc?
Lou Grant: [laughs it off] Are you kidding? No.
Billie Newman: Then you'd better have dinner before you go up.

Billie Newman: [on payphone in pouring rain] I never talked to Talbot, I didn't even see him. His publisher had him in a limmo before I could get my umbrella closed and my notebook open.

"Lou Grant: Psych-Out (#1.10)" (1977)
Dennis "Animal" Price: I feel naked without my camera.
Billie Newman: Shhh! Don't say words like 'naked' in front of these people.

Lou Grant: [having been invited for dinner by Billie] What are you having?
Billie Newman: Why?
Lou Grant: Because if you're having liver, I don't like it, so I'll have to eat it or put it in my pocket. I don't wanna do that.

"Lou Grant: Slammer (#3.3)" (1979)
Lou Grant: [reading aloud from a list of inmates he's teaching a class to] Leroy Michael Vallow. Murder, life sentence.
Billie Newman: Don't you find disipline in the class room a problem, Lou?
Lou Grant: Oh, these guys are so happy to have a diversion, they'd sit there quietly for a half hour if I came in and did a tapdance.
Art Donovan: I'd sit quietly for an hour to watch you tapdance.

Billie Newman: I was down at the courthouse, looking for Councilman Garber's divorce years.
Art Donovan: I hear his wife has some eight by ten glossies.
Dennis "Animal" Price: Donovan, she's in the middle of an amusing, innocent anecdote.

"Lou Grant: Fireworks (#5.19)" (1982)
Billie Newman: [raised voice] Damn it I'm not angry! You make me so mad!

Billie Newman: [on dancefloor] The focus of my piece is lobbying.
Ray Elders: Well, you just missed one of the best people at it. Which is too bad. He keeps a lower profile than a Bishop's mistress.

"Lou Grant: Lou (#3.19)" (1980)
Billie Newman: It's been three years, right?
Animal: Almost four.
Billie Newman: He's aged about twenty. We've seen the man grow old.
Animal: It's the pressure.
Billie Newman: I know that, but it's still sad.
Lou Grant: You can spare the sympathy, Billie. You wanna talk, do it to my face, not behind my back.
Animal: Huh?
Billie Newman: What do you mean, Lou? We were talking about the President.

Billie Newman: Lou, I think piling Sam's stuff outside the door is cruel.
Lou Grant: That's my style.
Billie Newman: No it's not...

"Lou Grant: Scoop (#1.8)" (1977)
Billie Newman: Great. It was my big scoop, ten seconds ago. Now you can wrap a fish in it.

Billie Newman: I don't care what anybody says, Rossi, I liked the story you wrote on Garber.
Joe Rossi: Thank you.
Billie Newman: It was just totally inacurate, that's all.

"Lou Grant: Double-Cross (#5.6)" (1981)
Linda: He said he had a message, and the message was that Mrs. Pynchon wanted Billie to stop, whatever it was.
[walks off]
Lou Grant: Someones trying to keep you off the story?
Billie Newman: You mean somebody besides you?

Billie Newman: So, the doctor pulls away and I'm sitting there in my car in front of this big Spanish mansion, wondering what I'm doing there, when all of a sudden all of these flood lights go on. I hear angry voices, a gate opens and a big black car about a block long comes screaming down the driveway right at me.
Lou Grant: The Batmobile.
Joe Rossi: No, the Mathesons.

"Lou Grant: Cameras (#5.11)" (1982)
Billie Newman: [in phone booth on the scene] Everything is just sort of on hold here, Lou. Some of these parents are beside themselves.
Lou Grant: [on other line at the City Desk] I can imagine...
[notices something on TV covering the same story]
Lou Grant: Eh... wait a minute, Billie. Why is the, eh... why is the Swat team leaving?
Billie Newman: [springs into action] You tell me. I didn't know they were. You seem to have a better seat than I have.
[hangs up]

Billie Newman: [upset with Lou] So when something I write gets changed around to satisfy someones notion obout what makes good copy, it makes me...
[searches for a word]
Billie Newman: ... it makes me furious.
Lou Grant: Livid, right? Outraged.
Billie Newman: Damn it, now you're even rewriting my yelling at you!

"Lou Grant: Barrio (#1.7)" (1977)
Joe Rossi: [about Delgado] He's not very popular with the County supervisors. Steps on a lotta big toes, doesn't answer phone calls, doesn't do the paperwork...
Billie Newman: Well, maybe he's doing more important things...
Joe Rossi: They also think he's high-handed, arrogant, abbrasive. All qualities which I admire.

Billie Newman: Was that kid saying they shot up Henry's house because they didn't want any more trouble?

"Lou Grant: Christmas (#1.13)" (1977)
Billie Newman: Spending money is like swimming. Once you learn, you never forget.

Lou Grant: I like buying toys.
Billie Newman: That's lucky for your granddaughter.
Lou Grant: Yeah, it works out nicely. She likes breaking toys.

"Lou Grant: Goop (#4.5)" (1980)
Teri Wilk: [Rossi just got directions and left] Not even a thank you! Typical reporter.
Billie Newman: [Billie is under cover working at the plant] What do you mean? Maybe he's just... not a polite guy.
Teri Wilk: Nah, reporters are the lowest. My dad told me. Everybody knows it. They're all pushy and grubby. All they care about is getting their story.

Billie Newman: [a bit self-concious] The eh... lead is kind of silly...
[small chuckle]
Billie Newman: But then, the story is also kind of...
Lou Grant: I like the lead.
Billie Newman: [surprised and relieved] Good!
Lou Grant: It's catchy. Bubbles suddenly appearing in people's backyards.
Billie Newman: There's only the one bubble.
Lou Grant: How do we know? What are bubbles like?
Art Donovan: Do they talk to each other?

"Lou Grant: Execution (#5.2)" (1981)
Art Donovan: I'm sending you to the Califorina Institution for Women at Frontera tomorrow.
Joe Rossi: Alone? With all those deprived women?
Billie Newman: Don't worry Rossi, there are bars to protect you.

"Lou Grant: Hometown (#5.4)" (1981)
Billie Newman: I'll read Lou's story when it's my business to read Lou's story.
Joe Rossi: But it's such a hoot. He writes that old bare-bones wire service style: "Dateline: Goshen".
Billie Newman: Hey, the guy hasn't written anything since about 1959, give him a break.
Joe Rossi: Oh, I love it, really, it's cute.

"Lou Grant: Bomb (#2.22)" (1979)
Billie Newman: Jack, let's have dinner together tonight.
Jack Ridgeway: Ok. Pick a place, and if it's still standing this evening, we'll go there.

"Lou Grant: Conflict (#2.11)" (1978)
Mildred Colbert: Don't you read the papers?
Billie Newman: I try to, but my work gets in the way.

"Lou Grant: Mob (#2.4)" (1978)
Billie Newman: [Rossi is ticked off about being unable to write down his feelings about the mob in an article] What did I do?
Joe Rossi: What do you know, you're not Italian!
Billie Newman: Scusi.

"Lou Grant: Scam (#2.15)" (1979)
Billie Newman: And when they gave him ten years, Milburn's face dropped to the floor.
Charlie Hume: I'd say it was about nine years and ten months more than he expected.

"Lou Grant: Prisoner (#2.2)" (1978)
Billie Newman: What do these things have in common? Star Wars, Charlie Brown, the Beatles, All in the Family, the Washington Post and the L.A. Trib?
Lou Grant: They all make a lot of money, except the Trib.
Billie Newman: They're all banned in Malaqua, among other things.
Lou Grant: [takes the list] It's kind of an honor. This is the classiest list since the White House enemies.

"Lou Grant: Dogs (#3.21)" (1980)
Charlie Hume: Did you interview the shrink or the patient?
Billie Newman: Both.
Lou Grant: That's not clear. Who's suing who?
Billie Newman: Everyone. She's suing the doctor for malpractice for seducing her and he's got a counter suit claiming that she didn't follow his instructions.
Charlie Hume: What kind of suit is dat?
Lou Grant: Malpatient?

"Lou Grant: Witness (#3.8)" (1979)
Billie Newman: Lou, Robinson's taken a turn for the worse. He's back on the operating table.
Lou Grant: [Lou is lying on the floor to sooth his aching back] I may join him there...

"Lou Grant: Beachhead (#5.22)" (1982)
Art Donovan: You worried about something?
Billie Newman: Why?
Art Donovan: You're tense. You're tapping out an S.O.S. on my shoulder.

"Lou Grant: Nightside (#4.1)" (1980)
Billie Newman: I didn't mean for you to hang up.
Lou Grant: [eagerly] Did you bring me dinner?
Billie Newman: No, I'm sorry, Lou, was I supposed to?

"Lou Grant: Business (#4.17)" (1981)
Billie Newman: Did you run out of new column ideas?
Hal Hennecker: I ran out of new column ideas in June.
[a beat]
Hal Hennecker: 1963.

"Lou Grant: Charlatan (#3.4)" (1979)
Billie Newman: What on earth are you trying to do, Marcus? When we're pitching a story to Lou is not the time to show your insecurity about it.
Marcus Prescott: I just told him what I felt, I don't think we have enough.
Joe Rossi: Not enough? How much do you need? I know guys who have won the Pulitzer prize on less than this.

"Lou Grant: Hit (#2.18)" (1979)
Billie Newman: You know, a person's notes aren't really meant for public scrutiny.

"Lou Grant: Singles (#2.9)" (1978)
Billie Newman: [about a new idea for a news story] Of course, it's not 'zippy' or 'zingy'...
Lou Grant: It's not sexy, it's not about women 18 to 39, it's not fun... I love it.

"Lou Grant: Strike (#4.13)" (1981)
Billie Newman: [the Newspaper workers are on strike] Oh, didn't you here? Ivey took another job.
Art Donovan: She what? Where?
Billie Newman: Long Beach paper.
Art Donovan: And she wanted to nail Adam Wilson. I'd like to nail her ample behind.

"Lou Grant: Convention (#2.20)" (1979)
Joe Rossi: Oh, that's not gonna work, Billie, you can't penetrate that network, they're so paranoid.
Billie Newman: Well, if you blunder in, you might scare them off. But there are some people on this paper that know a thing or two about finesse.
Joe Rossi: Who?
[Billie opens her mouth to answer, then thinks better of it]

"Lou Grant: Obituary (#5.16)" (1982)
Billie Newman: Yet there was something important and basic to journalism through the lives of the three who died. There was the courage and patience of being a pro. Fierce competition and self-doubt, too. In the end, they chose to take a risk because that was part of their job.

"Lou Grant: Venice (#4.15)" (1981)
Billie Newman: Who's the most appealing girl in the City Room?
Lou Grant: [without looking up] You are.
Billie Newman: [smiles] No, that's not why I asked... Who is it that... all of the single men and two thirds of the married men lust after?
Lou Grant: Lust? Heidi.
Billie Newman: What if I told you that she asked somebody out and he refused?
Lou Grant: I wouldn't believe it.
[looks up]
Lou Grant: Who?
Billie Newman: Animal.
Lou Grant: [thinks for a moment] Maybe he's joined some new order of celibate photographers.

"Lou Grant: Pills (#2.1)" (1978)
Billie Newman: Lou, how do I dress to cover either a Presidential dinner or a karate festival?
Lou Grant: I don't know... Maybe a cocktail dress with a black belt?

"Lou Grant: Sting (#4.4)" (1980)
Lou Grant: Why do beach stories take twice as long as stories on the inner city?
Billie Newman: It's hard to walk through the sand...

"Lou Grant: Risk (#5.5)" (1981)
Lance: Because of this lousy little ear condition, I'll never be able to go into space. Ever. I've washed out of the program.
Billie Newman: You were never in the program.
Lance: I was a lock! Now I'm out. Why is life so hard?

"Lou Grant: Andrew: Part 2 (#3.11)" (1979)
Lou Grant: What's the penalty for second degree murder?
Billie Newman: Five, six or seven years.
Joe Rossi: Fifteen years to life.
Billie Newman: No Rossi, it's a determinant sentence.
Joe Rossi: A lawyer told me!
Billie Newman: A lawyer told me, they just changed the law.
Joe Rossi: That's right and you have the old numbers.
Lou Grant: Hold it, hold it! Remind me not to ask you guys questions unless you can agree on the anwers.

"Lou Grant: Sweep (#2.16)" (1979)
Lou Grant: How's your Spanish holding up?
Billie Newman: If it means a trip to Barcelona, teriffico.

"Lou Grant: Hollywood (#3.12)" (1979)
Art Donovan: You were threatened by a chicken?
Animal: Did you kill it?
Billie Newman: It was already dead!
Art Donovan: You were threatened by a dead chicken?

"Lou Grant: Takeover (#1.12)" (1977)
Billie Newman: There've been rumors circulating around the building for days. You guys aren't helping any, standing around wispering with long faces...
Lou Grant: I always wanted a long face...

"Lou Grant: Blackout (#3.20)" (1980)
Billie Newman: This is terrific.
Lou Grant: It's better than terrific! Hm!
Mrs. Pynchon: What on earth are you eating?
Lou Grant: Soup. It used to be ice cream.
Charlie Hume: We liberated it from the cafeteria. You have your choice of Vanilla Fudge, Rocky Road or Neopolitan.
Mrs. Pynchon: Which do you suppose goes best with cognac?
Lou Grant: Anything goes with cognac.

"Lou Grant: Friends (#5.8)" (1981)
Billie Newman: Art Donovan is a gentle, rational person.
Dennis "Animal" Price: People like that are the first to blow.

"Lou Grant: Harassment (#4.2)" (1980)
Lou Grant: When I told you to pick a company to investigate sexual harassment, I didn't mean this one.
Billie Newman: I chose the Trib because that way I thought the story would have the most impact.
Lou Grant: I got a feeling you're right...

"Lou Grant: Scandal (#1.19)" (1978)
Liz Harrison: No, eh, I guess I mean it's kinda hard to get past the cliche's. But... L.A. is the only city where you see men on the streets wearing more jewelry than the women, huh?
Billie Newman: With cuter behinds, too.

"Lou Grant: Home (#2.19)" (1979)
Lou Grant: He didn't ask for any references at all?
Billie Newman: I was breathing, I think that was reference enough.

"Lou Grant: Streets (#4.7)" (1980)
Joe Rossi: [holding a card] Milt gave me this.
[reads aloud]
Joe Rossi: 'This card entitles the bearer, Joseph Rossi, to save passage through the ghetto and confers on him the title of honorary negro'. Negro, does anyone still use that term?
Billie Newman: I think that card's expired.

"Lou Grant: Housewarming (#1.11)" (1977)
Roger: I had a friend who... a neighbor, used to beat his wife every Saturday night and... she left him. Well, poor guy just wasted away.
Billie Newman: [rolls her eyes] From what, lack of exercise?

"Lou Grant: Drifters (#5.7)" (1981)
Billie Newman: [discussing a bear that escaped from the zoo] I suppose you know how he escaped, too?
Art Donovan: Oh, what the heck...
[thinks for a moment]
Art Donovan: He tied his bedsheets together and he eased himself over the wall, right?
Billie Newman: The zoo still doesn't know for sure. But they're convinced he was acting alone.