Margaret Pynchon
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Quotes for
Margaret Pynchon (Character)
from "Lou Grant" (1977)

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"Lou Grant: Blackout (#3.20)" (1980)
Lou Grant: [about betting on the Earthquake pool] Mrs. Pynchon, it costs a dollar to get in.
Mrs. Pynchon: Why, are you suggesting I'm not good for the money, Mr. Grant?

Mrs. Pynchon: [having a meeting by candle light due to a blackout] Well, this is certainly a romantic setting for a press conference.
Lou Grant: Mrs. Pynchon, in this light, you look just like Lauren Bacall.
Mrs. Pynchon: Well, thank you, Mr. Grant. So do you.
[giggles like a school girl]

Charlie Hume: Well, in a normal emergency, everything would've be fine.
Mrs. Pynchon: Emergencies are seldom normal.

Billie Newman: This is terrific.
Lou Grant: It's better than terrific! Hm!
Mrs. Pynchon: What on earth are you eating?
Lou Grant: Soup. It used to be ice cream.
Charlie Hume: We liberated it from the cafeteria. You have your choice of Vanilla Fudge, Rocky Road or Neopolitan.
Mrs. Pynchon: Which do you suppose goes best with cognac?
Lou Grant: Anything goes with cognac.


"Lou Grant: Pack (#4.3)" (1980)
Margaret Pynchon: [Mrs. Pynchon has been reluctant to replace Hayward because her husband was godfather to Hayward's son] Oh, lets replace him. You know, that godson didn't turn out so well anyway.

Margaret Pynchon: Is that lunch, or a suicide attempt?
Lou Grant: [mouth full] Pastrami, lean. Kinda lean. You wanna have?
[offers her some]
Margaret Pynchon: Oh no, my cardiologist is on vacation.

Margaret Pynchon: I hear we're being swamped with complaints from groups that are backing Carlisle.
Lou Grant: Nice to see Billie's story has impact.
Margaret Pynchon: A runaway bus has impact, Mr. Grant, but it's rarely favorable.


"Lou Grant: Influence (#3.22)" (1980)
Charlie Hume: I didn't know your families were on speaking terms.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, Mr. Hume, that was in the Twenties, when his grandfather and mine were at war over land and water rights. My father put most of that to rest but we were still considered too ill mannered and aggressive to be included in The Circle.

Mrs. Pynchon: I want you to fire Nick Boyer.
Charlie Hume: Did he break your teacup?

Dutch Van Deusen: Oh Margaret, you're the same obstructionist maverick your old man was.
Mrs. Pynchon: Thank you, Dutch.


"Lou Grant: Lou (#3.19)" (1980)
Jack Towne: Kiss me goodbye and you're kissing goodbye to 35.000 readers.
Margaret Pynchon: I wouldn't dream of kissing you goodbye.
[sweetly]
Margaret Pynchon: Goodbye...

Jack Towne: I'll pack up this afternoon.
[leaves in a huff]
Margaret Pynchon: [calling after him] Don't take the soap from the men's room.

Lou Grant: Well, I haven't gotten the memo yet, but any way that we can be protected from the nuts who call the city room would be great.
Mrs. Pynchon: That's not what the memo says. I asked you to be courteous to the nuts who call the city room.


"Lou Grant: Takeover (#1.12)" (1977)
Mrs. Pynchon: I will have us known as the Los Angeles Tribune and Enchilada Company!

Lou Grant: [about Mrs. Pynchon's nephews] I don't know them, but I don't think I like them.
Mrs. Pynchon: Then, Mr. Grant, you do know them.

Mrs. Pynchon: Well, what can I say, except what William Shakespeare said: "Friends am I with you, and love you all."
[cheers and applause from the newspaper staff]
Lou Grant: And, and what can we say except what Romeo said: "Mrs. Pynchon, you're o.k."
[laughter]


"Lou Grant: Cophouse (#1.1)" (1977)
Charlie Hume: Naturally, your instincts in these matters, eh, are infallible.
Mrs. Pynchon: Nonesense. Only my husband was infallible and he was wrong 60 per cent of the time.

Lou Grant: [after being chewed out by Mrs. Pynchon] I feel like a tin roof in a hail storm.
Mrs. Pynchon: Really? Well I hadn't even gotten to you yet.


"Lou Grant: Stroke (#4.20)" (1981)
Mrs. Pynchon: [cheerful] Would anybody like some juice?
Charlie Hume: [off screen] Not me, thank you.
Lou Grant: It's a little early for juice.
[Mrs. Pynchon laughs]

Mrs. Pynchon: [recovering from her stroke, Mrs. Pynchon speaks with difficulty] You... have... totally... mishandled the pension funds story.
Lou Grant: It's nice to hear you say that, Mrs. Pynchon.
Charlie Hume: Very nice.


"Lou Grant: Conflict (#2.11)" (1978)
Joe Rossi: You, you wanna sit here?
Mrs. Pynchon: Well, I usually make a point of avoiding people who eat sugar puffs for diner, but, eh, I'd like to, yes.

Mrs. Pynchon: You're here...
Joe Rossi: Hi, Mrs. Pynchon.
Mrs. Pynchon: I figured you'd be getting fitted for a suit of armor.
Joe Rossi: Now you tell me!


"Lou Grant: Aftershock (#1.6)" (1977)
Charlie Hume: [a tremor shakes the church during Lou's disastrous eulogy] Quake.
Margaret Pynchon: Or the wrath of God...

Lou Grant: [Lou has messed up a eulogy at Duncan Aldrige's funeral] It just didn't come out right.
Margaret Pynchon: Nobody's blaming you...
Lou Grant: [quietly] Thanks.
Margaret Pynchon: ...for the quake.


"Lou Grant: Dogs (#3.21)" (1980)
Mrs. Pynchon: Barney's gone.
Charlie Hume: Gone?
Art Donovan: Maybe the Times' offered him more money and he went over to them.

Mrs. Pynchon: I don't like that sort of thing when people say dogs are people. Barney was just a dog... but you know, he was... such good company.


"Lou Grant: Singles (#2.9)" (1978)
Mrs. Pynchon: We're not expecting miracles, Mr. Barton, extraordinary results will do.

Mrs. Pynchon: [hypothetical] Do you play, Poker, gentlemen?
Charlie Hume: [serious] I don't think that's the way to settle this.


"Lou Grant: Babies (#2.10)" (1978)
Lou Grant: Any questions?
Charlie Hume: Yeah. How the hell am I gonna get ten thousand dollars out of Mrs. Pynchon?
Mrs. Pynchon: [cut to Mrs. Pynchon in her office] Ten thousand dollars? That's a one followed by four zero's!

Mrs. Pynchon: Matthew and I were never able to have a child of our own, although we very much wanted one. He always hoped that someday we might... get lucky. Well, if we had adopted, I would've had someone to take over this newspaper.
Charlie Hume: Sorry, Mrs. Pynchon.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, cheer up, Mr. Hume. Maybe I'll adopt you.


"Lou Grant: Sweep (#2.16)" (1979)
Mrs. Pynchon: Tiffany's going to learn the newspaper business. Starting at the bottom.
Charlie Hume: Where's that?
Mrs. Pynchon: [chuckles] Where I started.
Charlie Hume: As the owner?
Mrs. Pynchon: As... a copygirl.

Lou Grant: Well, eh, it's about Tiffany.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, you don't have to give me special reports. But as long as you're here, how is she doing?
Lou Grant: Well, she... makes great coffee. Best we've ever had in the newsroom.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, I'm delighted to hear that, if she ever inherits this newspaper I'm sure that will come in very handy. Is there anything else?
Lou Grant: Yes, there is. She's gone.
Mrs. Pynchon: I have a feeling you've left out something between the great coffee and her departure.


"Lou Grant: Christmas (#1.13)" (1977)
Mrs. Pynchon: [referring to Rossi] Now just what do you intend to do to discipline that young man?
Lou Grant: [calm] Leave it to me. When you're dealing with a man of his talents, you have to be careful. He's very high strung, very temperamental. but he can be handled. It's a matter of understanding human psychology. I know how his mind works and therefore I know the right, psychological level on which to approach him.
[cut to Lou and Rossi in Lou's office]
Lou Grant: [shouting] I'm gonna kill you, Rossi!
Joe Rossi: Lets not make irresponsible threats.
Lou Grant: It's not irresponsible, it's carefully thought out: I'm going to kill you.
Joe Rossi: Look, Lou...
Lou Grant: Now, not physically you understand, as much as I'd enjoy it, no I'm going to kill you intelectually, I'm gonna break your spirit.

Mrs. Pynchon: Well, it's Christmas Eve again... do you ever get the feeling, that whoever is in charge of the time machine, is turning that handle just a tiny bit faster every year.
Charlie Hume: Seems like yesterday was summer.
Lou Grant: It was. It was 85 degrees.


"Lou Grant: Renewal (#1.17)" (1978)
Dennis "Animal" Price: [about Earls art] Blows your mind, huh?
Mrs. Pynchon: I don't know if I would use those words, Dennis, but yes, it blows my mind...


"Lou Grant: Review (#5.12)" (1982)
Mrs. Pynchon: Please sit down, Mr. Rossi.
Joe Rossi: I'm too T'd off.
Mrs. Pynchon: [raises her voice] We are all t'd off!
[calm again]
Mrs. Pynchon: Notice how nicely the rest of us control it.
[Rossi looks a the others, then takes a seat]


"Lou Grant: Victims (#5.23)" (1982)
Mrs. Pynchon: [Visiting Lou at home, Mrs. Pynchon notices Lou has got a soap opera on] Well, Kristie's up to her old tricks again, I see.
Lou Grant: You watch this show?
Mrs. Pynchon: Well, not recently, but I got hooked on it when I was laid up.


"Lou Grant: Libel (#4.6)" (1980)
Joe Rossi: [claps his hands] Ok. I think our team is ready.
[gets up to leave but Mrs. Pynchon is in his way]
Mrs. Pynchon: Mr. Rossi, the Tribune is being sued for sixty million dollars. We would do well not to approach it like a hockey game.


"Lou Grant: Spies (#1.20)" (1978)
Lou Grant: I say: lets open our eyes and keep going!
Mrs. Pynchon: I do too.
Lou Grant: But why don't we...
Mrs. Pynchon: [interrupting] Mr. Grant, please. I've already made the decision. Why must you continue making arguments when people are agreeing with you?


"Lou Grant: Exposé (#3.2)" (1979)
Mrs. Pynchon: We're going to have to let some people go.
Lou Grant: [stands up] That stinks! Why are you singling out my department?
Mrs. Pynchon: I'm not!
Lou Grant: How come the other departments aren't affected?
Mrs. Pynchon: They are!
Lou Grant: Why doesn't everyone share it equally?
Mrs. Pynchon: They will!
Lou Grant: It still stinks.
[sits down again]
Mrs. Pynchon: I agree! I hate firing people.
Lou Grant: Then don't!
Mrs. Pynchon: I'm not. You're going to.


"Lou Grant: Brushfire (#3.14)" (1980)
Lou Grant: [on phone] Hello Mrs. Pynchon. Eh, listen, can I call you back? We've got a fire story breaking here.
Mrs. Pynchon: [on other line on payphone] I know you have a fire story breaking, I'm right in the middle of it.
Lou Grant: Where are you?
Mrs. Pynchon: Your re-write man ordered me to stand by. Oh, Mr. Grant, it's so eerie here.
[stammers]
Mrs. Pynchon: Eh, Th-th-the heavy smoke is starting to blot out the sun and it seems to be snowing ashes.
Lou Grant: Mrs. Pynchon, I'd like to countermand those orders he gave you. With all due respect, I'd like you to hang up, get in your car and get the hell outta there.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you. I, I think I'd like to do that.
[hangs up]


"Lou Grant: Prisoner (#2.2)" (1978)
Mrs. Pynchon: [to Charlie] I received your resignation in the mail this morning. I read it right after a letter offering me five dollars off on my next engine tune up. I threw the resignation in the trash, but I saved the coupon for the engine tune up. You never know, it might come in handy.


"Lou Grant: Gambling (#3.7)" (1979)
Charlie Hume: [about Mrs. Pynchon's writing] That is damned good. Did you really write that?
Mrs. Pynchon: [smiling] I'm flattered...
[thinks for a moment]
Mrs. Pynchon: ... and insulted.


"Lou Grant: Inheritance (#3.17)" (1980)
Mrs. Pynchon: You know, I read your story on the DES daughter, I thought it was well handled. You really made me see the suffering those two women went through.
Billie Newman: Well, that's my job.
Mrs. Pynchon: But I find it hard believing I'm talking to the writer of that article...
Billie Newman: Why?
Mrs. Pynchon: Because you could understand that mother so well, but you can't see what your own mother's going through.


"Lou Grant: Nightside (#4.1)" (1980)
Lou Grant: [speaking to Mrs. Pynchon on phone] We thought you were out gambling.
Mrs. Pynchon: [at home in bed] Owning a newspaper's all the gamblin I need to do.


"Lou Grant: Hoax (#1.3)" (1977)
Mrs. Pynchon: [angry] It would be a great story if it happened to the Times. I wish it had happened to the Times.
Lou Grant: And if it had, we'd print it.
Mrs. Pynchon: With flags around it!
Lou Grant: It's our story, it happened to us, we've got all the facts. Or would you rather see it in the Times?
Mrs. Pynchon: Are you thinking of moving over there?
Lou Grant: Are you thinking of sending me?
Mrs. Pynchon: It's crossed my mind. But then I remembered what a good relationship I have with them...


"Lou Grant: Business (#4.17)" (1981)
Mrs. Pynchon: [about Calectronics' add in the Tribune] This is not circumvention. It is not even intimidation. This is an act of war.


"Lou Grant: Hunger (#5.14)" (1982)
Mrs. Pynchon: [concerned about the use of lightbulbs in the office at night] Sometimes I'm downtown after midnight, this place is lit up like Dodger Stadium.
Charlie Hume: I'll speak to maintenance.
Lou Grant: What are you doing downtown after midnight?
Mrs. Pynchon: Feeding pigeons.


"Lou Grant: Hit (#2.18)" (1979)
Mrs. Pynchon: [to a man in a crowded elevator who is smoking a cigar] Would you mind putting out that cigar?
McPhee: The time it takes me to put it out, I'll be at my floor.
Mrs. Pynchon: Indulge me.
McPhee: Ease up, will ya, lady? This'll be over in no time.
Mrs. Pynchon: You're breaking the law.
McPhee: Do you own this elevator?
Mrs. Pynchon: [haughtily] The elevator, the building, the block!
Mrs. Pynchon, McPhee: Heh. Then this must be yours, too.
[hands her the burning cigar and steps off the elevator]


"Lou Grant: Pills (#2.1)" (1978)
Mrs. Pynchon: I don't enjoy losing these hypothetical arguments, Mr. Grant.


"Lou Grant: Cover-Up (#3.16)" (1980)
Mrs. Pynchon: I'm submitting my resignation to the board.
Lou Grant: Do yourself a favor and don't mail it.
Mrs. Pynchon: I don't aprove of what they did.
Lou Grant: But if you're not there, who's going to fight them?


"Lou Grant: Skids (#2.23)" (1979)
Lou Grant: Mrs. Pynchon, do you think it's seemly for your City Editor to have to park his car a block and a half from where he works?
Mrs. Pynchon: Well you'll note I didn't arrive here by helicopter this morning myself.


"Lou Grant: Rape (#4.9)" (1981)
Lou Grant: [discussing the rape of a colleague] You've got a right to be upset.
Mrs. Pynchon: This is not upset, Mr. Grant. This is anger. I am angry.
[raises voice]
Mrs. Pynchon: I am angry! I'm angry because I'm frightened.
[a bit calmer]
Mrs. Pynchon: Every woman has to be.
Lou Grant: It's not just women. Everyone's vulnerable to some kind of attack.
Mrs. Pynchon: Not this kind of attack. It's widespread, it's frequent, it's a giant problem that has never really been faced. And you can't help but wonder, if men were the ones being raped, then wouldn't the problem get solved?


"Lou Grant: Risk (#5.5)" (1981)
Mrs. Pynchon: I came down to talk about Miss McNeil's child pornography piece.
Lou Grant: What'd you think?
Mrs. Pynchon: [sighs and looks disgusted] I thought it was infuriating... depressive... nauseating... and terrific writing.
Lou Grant: [relieved] Oh, good.


"Lou Grant: Denial (#2.12)" (1979)
Lou Grant: You do that? Give money to bums? I dunno, usually I don't. I figure they, they're just gonna drink it.
Mrs. Pynchon: Oh, I don't either, but, ehm, that poor fellow used to work for the Tribune.
Lou Grant: Oooh, that's too bad.
Mrs. Pynchon: He's a former City Editor.
[Lou stops and looks at her, shocked]
Mrs. Pynchon: I'm just joking.


"Lou Grant: Recovery (#5.15)" (1982)
Mrs. Pynchon: I can handle Mr. Rossi... with my brace on my leg and one hand tied behind my back.
Charlie Hume: Go get 'em.


"Lou Grant: Hollywood (#3.12)" (1979)
Charlie Hume: Did you ever see Baby Duarte fight, Mrs. Pynchon?
Mrs. Pynchon: I was his sparring partner for years.


"Lou Grant: Cameras (#5.11)" (1982)
Charlie Hume: [Lou and Charlie are surprised to see Mrs. Pynchon in the break room] Mrs. Pynchon. We don't often see you in here.
Mrs. Pynchon: Well, the last time was in 1977. It doesn't seem to have changed much.
Lou Grant: Some of the sandwiches are new.


"Lou Grant: Physical (#1.22)" (1978)
Mrs. Pynchon: Enough. I get nervous when my editors hold hands.


"Lou Grant: Depression (#4.19)" (1981)
Mrs. Pynchon: Operation Vamoosh is born, I feel the rumblings.


"Lou Grant: Housewarming (#1.11)" (1977)
Charlie Hume: I hope we're not too late. I forgot my wife was going to a fatfarm this weekend, but I managed to dig up a blind date.
[Lou laughs]
Mrs. Pynchon: He got me here by promising me we were going to play miniature golf.