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Quotes for
Pig One (Character)
from "The Raccoons" (1985)

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"The Raccoons: Going It Alone! (#1.2)" (1985)
Cyril Sneer: [Cyril sets off a trap which causes a boulder to roll down the hill to stop Bert getting up the mountain] I built this stuff into the mountain twenty years ago, and it still works!
[the boulder rebounds off the curved trunk of a tree just before it reaches Bert, and is sent flying back towards Cyril and the pigs]
Pig One: Unfortunately sir, but...
Pig Two: That tree wasn't there...
Pig Three: TWENTY YEARS AGO!

Pig One: [the Pigs find Sam Sneer's Statue at the top of the mountain] *This* is the secret we've been protecting?
[Pigs Giggle]
Cyril Sneer: [enraged] You find something funny about a Sneer that gave away *all* his money?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: No, sir! No, sir!
Cyril Sneer: A Sneer who gave everything away to charity? This statue is an embarrassment to me! It could ruin my image forever!
Pig One: But sir, why don't you just destroy it?
Cyril Sneer: Destroy it?
Pig Two: Yes, Sir. Destroy it!
Cyril Sneer: On top of by being quiet, humble, generous and kind, I also always keep my word.
[hears his Uncle's voice in flashback]
Sam Sneer: Promise me!
Cyril Sneer: I suggest you do the same.
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Yes sir.
Cyril Sneer: Because if one breath ever gets out about this, it'll be kicking you off of the 50 yard line at next year's Superbowl! Is that clear?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: [Terrified] Yes, sir!
Pig One: Your secret's safe with us sir!
Pig Three: Our lips are sealed!
Cyril Sneer: So's your fate! Now get this eyesore where no one will ever find it!


"The Raccoons: A Night to Remember (#1.3)" (1985)
Cyril: Of course I want you to check it out! Why do you think I pay you that fancy salary?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: But we've never been paid!
Cyril: The cheque's in the mail.


"The Raccoons: Buried Treasure! (#1.6)" (1985)
Pig One: The last time I dug this deep was to pay off a stack of Parking tickets!


"The Raccoons: Stop the Clock! (#2.5)" (1987)
Cyril: The search for the fountain of youth? What's this all about?
Pig One: According to this book sir, one sip from this legendary elusive fountain can give someone eternal youth!
Cyril: Eternal youth? Preposterous! Ridiculous! Ludicrous!
[beat]
Cyril: Find it immediately!


"The Raccoons: The Runaways! (#1.5)" (1985)
Cyril: This place looks like a pig sty!
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Oh, Thank you, sir! We try, sir!