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: Adventure is my middle name! Cedric
: Mine's Sidney!
: Oh no! Removing the treasure's setting off the traps! I thought you said they wouldn't work! Bert
: I guess I can't be right all the time...
: Only one person's gonna get that contract and that's me! Cedric
: Says who, big shot? Bert
: Says *me*, hose nose!
: Me without Cedric is like peanut butter without bananas, campfires without marshmallows... Ralph
: [to Schaeffer
] Bert without a messy room!
: Bert: What did I tell you? See, see? I bet that guy has a submachine gun! Ralph
: That's a violin case, Bert. Bert
: But they always put machine guns in violin cases! Everyone knows that!
: [Bert disguises himself as 'Auntie Bertha' in a bid to get information out of Cyril whilst helping him get to sleep
] I want to hear a real story! Give me King Midas. I want to hear about Midas and his wonderful golden touch! Bert
: Once upon a time there was king with a golden touch. Cyril
: Ooh, I like that. My kind of man! Bert
: Everything he touched turned to gold. Cyril
: Good, good Bert
: His cities were gold, his streets were gold. Cyril
: Marvelous! Marvelous! Cyril
: In fact, his whole kingdom was paved with gold. He even paved the forest with gold. What do you think of that? Pig Two
: Oh that's nothing! We're going to do that tomorrow - with cement!
: [When Bert and Sophia arrive to spring him from the Dungeon
] I'm not supposed to have visitors! Bert
: We're not visitors. We're *liberators*!
: [Reciting the secret handshake
] Rub your belly with linseed oil, wrap your head in aluminum foil, Clap your hands, stamp your feet, our secret hand shake can't be beat! YAHOO!
: You know, Bert. I think we should have a little talk. Bert
: Talk? Ohhh... Let's ride! Ralph
: What Melissa wants to talk about, Bert is... our private time. Bert
: Our private time? But Ralph, I love our private time! Why I even love our private time when Melissa is with us too! Melissa
] Ohhhh... I meant *our* Private time! Bert
: Oh. Melissa
: Well, you said it yourself; We eat together, we work together, we do everything *together*!
[Bert hangs his head
: You're *never* on your own. Why, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were *afraid* to be by yourself! Bert
: [Offended now
] Afraid? Me, Afraid? *Bert Raccoon*?
: Huh! Afraid to be alone!
: Why, I'm not afraid of anything! I even go to sleep without a nightlight!
: [Bert comes down to meet Bentley, but slips on the stairs and falls down them
] Hi! You must be Bentley? Bentley
: And you must be hurt! Bert
: That's er... *Bert*! How was your trip? Bentley
: Fine! How was *yours*? Melissa
: Bentley, you're gonna be sharing Bert's room Bentley
: Mr Bert, pleased to make your acquaintanceship. Bert
: Hey! Smart kid! And he knows foreign languages!
: Now I'll be Sir Bert! Defender of the feeble, champion of the weak and employee of the month! The shining knight of the Evergreen Forest!
[One of Cyril's pigs snatches Bert's stuff from him
: Make that blazing idiot, bandit face!
: [after learning of Cyril's plans to tear down the forest for his car factory
] This could be the end of the forest as we know it! Melissa
: This could be the end of our way of life! Bert
: hey! This could be the beginning of a brand new career!