Mycroft Holmes
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Quotes for
Mycroft Holmes (Character)
from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

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"Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia (#2.1)" (2012)
Mycroft Holmes: We are in Buckingham Palace, at the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!

Mycroft Holmes: This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!
Sherlock Holmes: [dressed only in a bedsheet, on which Mycroft is standing] Get off my sheet!
Mycroft Holmes: Or what?
Sherlock Holmes: Or I'll just walk away.
Mycroft Holmes: I'll let you.
Dr. John Watson: Boys, please. Not here.

Sherlock Holmes: Dominatrix...
Mycroft Holmes: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.
Sherlock Holmes: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft Holmes: How would you know?

Mrs. Hudson: It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into danger like that. Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.
Mycroft Holmes: Oh, shut up, Mrs. Hudson!
Sherlock Holmes: [furious] Mycroft!
Dr. John Watson: Hey!
Mycroft Holmes: [long pause] Apologies.
Mrs. Hudson: Thank you.
Sherlock Holmes: Though do, in fact, shut up.

Sherlock Holmes: Look at them. They all care so much. Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?
Mycroft Holmes: All lives end... all hearts are broken... Caring is not an advantage... Sherlock.
Sherlock Holmes: [smoking one of Irene's cigarettes] This is low tar.
Mycroft Holmes: Well, you barely knew her.

Mycroft Holmes: We can't fool them now. We've lost everything. One fragment of one e-mail and months and years of planning, finished.
Sherlock Holmes: Your M.O.D. man.
Mycroft Holmes: That's all it takes. One lonely, naive man, desperate to show off, and a woman clever enough to make him feel special.
Sherlock Holmes: You should screen your defense people more carefully.
Mycroft Holmes: I'm not talking about the M.O.D. man, Sherlock, I'm talking about you! A damsel in distress. In the end, are you really so obvious? Because this was textbook. The promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. Then give him a puzzle and watch him dance.

Mycroft Holmes: My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?
Dr. John Watson: I don't know.
Mycroft Holmes: Neither do I. But initially, he wanted to be a pirate.

Mycroft Holmes: [pouring tea] I'll be mother.
Sherlock Holmes: And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.

Sherlock Holmes: Smoking indoors. Isn't there one of those... one of those law things?
Mycroft Holmes: We're in a morgue. There's only so much damage you can do.

Sherlock Holmes: I'll need some equipment, of course.
Mycroft Holmes: Anything you require, I'll have it sent over.
Sherlock Holmes: [to the Equrry] Can I have a box of matches?
The Equerry: I'm sorry?
Sherlock Holmes: Or your cigarette lighter, either will do.
The Equerry: I don't smoke.
Sherlock Holmes: No, I know *you* don't, but your employer does.
The Equerry: [hesitates, then hands over the lighter] We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. Holmes.
The Equerry: I'm not the Commonwealth.
Dr. John Watson: And that's as modest as he gets. Pleasure to meet you.

Dr. John Watson: [notes Sherlock wrapped in a bed sheet] You wearing any pants?
Sherlock Holmes: No.
Dr. John Watson: Okay.
[Holmes and Watson glance at each other and burst into laughter]
Dr. John Watson: At Buckingham Palace. Right. Oh, oh, I am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray.
[chuckles with Sherlock]
Dr. John Watson: What are we doing here, Sherlock? No, seriously, what?
Sherlock Holmes: I don't know.
Dr. John Watson: Here to see the Queen?
Sherlock Holmes: [Mycroft walks in] Oh, apparently yes.
[John and Sherlock start laughing]
Mycroft Holmes: Just once can you two behave like grown ups?
Dr. John Watson: We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. So I wouldn't hold out to too much hope.

Sherlock Holmes: There you are, brother. I hope the contents make up for any inconvenience I may have caused you tonight.
Mycroft Holmes: I'm certain they will.
Sherlock Holmes: If feeling kind, lock her up, otherwise let her go. I doubt she'll survive long without her protection.
Irene Adler: Are you expecting me to beg?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes.
Irene Adler: Please. You're right, I won't even last six months.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm sorry about dinner.

Irene Adler: Oh, Jim Moriarty sends his love.
Mycroft Holmes: Yes, he's been in touch. Seems desperate for my attention, which I'm sure can be arranged.
Irene Adler: I had all this stuff; never knew what to do with it. Thank God for the consultant criminal. Gave me a lot of advice about how to play the Holmes boys. Do you know what he calls you? The Ice-man... and the Virgin.

[discussing the break-in that occurred at the home of a dominatrix]
Sherlock Holmes: I take it you stood down the police investigation into the shooting at her house?
Mycroft Holmes: How can we do anything while she has the photographs? Our hands are tied!
Sherlock Holmes: She'd applaud your choice of words.

[discussing Irene Adler]
Sherlock Holmes: There's nothing you can do and nothing she will do, as far as I can see.
Mycroft Holmes: I can put maximum surveillance on her.
Sherlock Holmes: Why bother? You can follow her on Twitter. I believe her user name is "The Whip Hand".

Dr. John Watson: You don't trust your own Secret Service?
Mycroft Holmes: Naturally not. They all spy on people for money.

Mycroft Holmes: Bond Air is go.


"Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (#3.1)" (2014)
Sherlock Holmes: And what about John Watson?
Mycroft Holmes: John?
Sherlock Holmes: Mm. Have you seen him?
Mycroft Holmes: [sarcastically] Oh, yes, we meet up every Friday for fish and chips.

Sherlock Holmes: I think... I'll surprise John. He'll be delighted.
Mycroft Holmes: You think so?
Sherlock Holmes: Hmm, pop into Baker Street, who knows, jump out of a cake.
Mycroft Holmes: Baker Street? He isn't there anymore.
[Sherlock turns to face Mycroft with a puzzled look]
Mycroft Holmes: Why would he be? It's been two years. He's got on with his life.
Sherlock Holmes: What life? I've been away.

Mycroft Holmes: [loses game] Oh, bugger!
Sherlock Holmes: Oopsy. Can't handle a broken heart. How *very* telling.
Mycroft Holmes: Don't be smart.
Sherlock Holmes: That takes me back.
[mocking Mycroft]
Sherlock Holmes: "Don't be smart, Sherlock, I'm the smart one."
Mycroft Holmes: I *am* the smart one.
Sherlock Holmes: I used to think I was an idiot.
Mycroft Holmes: Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on, till we met other children.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, yes, that was a mistake.
Mycroft Holmes: Ghastly. What were they thinking of?
Sherlock Holmes: Probably something about trying to make friends.
Mycroft Holmes: Oh, yes. *Friends*.

Torturer: [speaking in Serbian] You broke in here for a reason. Just tell us why and you can sleep. Remember sleep? Huh?... What?
[the captive whispers in his ear]
Mycroft Holmes: [In disguise] Well? What did he say?
Torturer: He said that I used to work in the Navy, where I had an unhappy love affair.
Mycroft Holmes: What?
Torturer: That the electricity isn't working in my bathroom... and that my wife is sleeping with our next door neighbor. The coffin maker... and... if I go home now, I'll catch them at it. I knew it! I knew there was something going on!
[Runs out of the interrogation room]

Mycroft Holmes: We have solid information, an attack is coming.
Sherlock Holmes: Solid information, a secret terrorist organization is planning an attack. That's what secret terrorist organizations do, isn't it? It's their version of golf.
Mycroft Holmes: An agent gave his life to tell us that.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, well, perhaps he shouldn't have done. He was obviously just trying to show off.

Mycroft Holmes: [analyzing a hat] This is a Chullo. The classic headgear of the Andes, it's made of Alpaca.
Sherlock Holmes: Nope.
Mycroft Holmes: No?
Sherlock Holmes: Icelandic sheep wool. Similar but very distinctive, if you know what you're looking for. I've written a blog on the varying tensile strengths of different natural fibers.
Mrs. Hudson: I'm sure there's a crying need for that.

Sherlock Holmes: But you've missed his isolation.
Mycroft Holmes: I don't see it.
Sherlock Holmes: Plain as day.
Mycroft Holmes: Where?
Sherlock Holmes: There for all to see.
Mycroft Holmes: Tell me.
Sherlock Holmes: Plain as the nose...
Mycroft Holmes: Tell me!
Sherlock Holmes: Well, anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this isn't in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?

Mycroft Holmes: If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I'm living in a world of goldfish.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, but I've been away for two years.
Mycroft Holmes: So?
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, I don't know. I thought, perhaps, you might have found yourself a... goldfish.

Mycroft Holmes: I'm not lonely, Sherlock.
Sherlock Holmes: How would you know?

Sherlock Holmes: I didn't know you spoke Serbian.
Mycroft Holmes: I didn't. But the language has a Slavic root. Frequent Turkish and German loan-words. Took me a couple of hours.
Sherlock Holmes: Hmm, you're slipping.


"Sherlock: His Last Vow (#3.3)" (2014)
Mycroft Holmes: That name you think you may have just heard, you were mistaken. If you ever mention hearing that name in this room, in this context, I guarantee you, on behalf of the British Security Services, that materials will be found on your computer hard-drives resulting in your immediate incarceration. Don't reply, just look frightened and scuttle.

Mycroft Holmes: Also... your loss would break my heart.
Sherlock Holmes: [coughs] What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
Mycroft Holmes: Merry Christmas.
Sherlock Holmes: You hate Christmas.
Mycroft Holmes: Yes. Perhaps there was something in the punch.
Sherlock Holmes: Clearly. Go and have some more.

Mum: Are you two smoking?
Mycroft Holmes: No!
Sherlock Holmes: It was Mycroft!

Mycroft Holmes: Why are we doing this? We never do this.
Mum: We are here because Sherlock is home from hospital, and we are all very happy.
Mycroft Holmes: Am I happy, too? I haven't checked.

Mycroft Holmes: What was directly behind you when you were murdered?
Little Sherlock: Not been murdered yet.
Mycroft Holmes: Balance of probability, little brother.

Mycroft Holmes: As my colleague is fond of remarking, this country sometimes needs a blunt instrument. Equally, it sometimes needs a dagger - a scalpel wielded with precision and without remorse.

Mum: Behave, Myke.
Mycroft Holmes: Mycroft is the name you gave me if you can possibly struggle your way to the end.

Mycroft Holmes: [on Magnussen] I'm just curious, though. It's hardly your usual kind of puzzle. Why do you hate him?
Sherlock Holmes: Because he attacks people who are different and preys on their secrets. Why don't you?

Mycroft Holmes: I hope I won't have to threaten you as well.
Dr. John Watson: Well, I think we'd both find that embarrassing.


"Sherlock: A Study in Pink (#1.1)" (2010)
Mycroft: Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, don't you think? What is your connection to Sherlock Holmes?
Dr John Watson: I don't have one. I barely know him. I met him... yesterday.
Mycroft: Mmm, and since yesterday, you've moved in with him and now you're solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?
Dr John Watson: Who are you?
Mycroft: An interested party.
Dr John Watson: Interested in Sherlock? Why? I'm guessing you're not friends.
Mycroft: You've met him. How many friends do you imagine he has? I'm the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having.
Dr John Watson: And what's that?
Mycroft: An enemy.
Dr John Watson: An enemy?
Mycroft: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him, he'd probably say an archenemy. He does love to be dramatic.
Dr John Watson: Well, thank God you're above all that.

Mycroft: [concerning his therapist's belief that Watson's hand tremor is PTSD] Fire her. She's got it the wrong way around. You're under stress right now, and your hand is perfectly steady. You're not haunted by the war, Dr Watson... You miss it.

Mycroft: You don't seem very afraid.
Dr John Watson: You don't seem very frightening.

[last lines]
Anthea: Sir, shall we go?
Mycroft Holmes: Interesting, that soldier fellow. He could be the making of my brother... or make him worse than ever. Either way, we'd better upgrade their surveillance status. Grade 3 Active.
Anthea: Sorry, sir. Whose status?
Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

Dr John Watson: He's your brother?
Sherlock Holmes: Of course he's my brother.
Dr John Watson: So he's not...
Sherlock Holmes: Not what?
Dr John Watson: I don't know... criminal mastermind?
Sherlock Holmes: Close enough.
Mycroft Holmes: For goodness sake, I occupy a minor position in the British government.
Sherlock Holmes: He *is* the British government when he's not too busy being the British Secret Service or the CIA on a free-lance basis. Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home. You know what it does for the traffic.

Dr John Watson: [about Sherlock] So, when-when you say you're concerned about him, you actually are concerned?
Mycroft: Yes, of course.
Dr John Watson: It actually is a childish feud?
Mycroft: He's always been so resentful. You can imagine the Christmas dinners.


"Sherlock: The Final Problem (#4.3)" (2017)
Mycroft Holmes: The roads we walked have demons beneath, yours have been waiting for a very long time.

Sherlock Holmes: Not in the face, please. I promised my brain to the Royal Society.
Sherlock Holmes: Where would you suggest?
Mycroft Holmes: Well, I supposed there is a heart somewhere inside me. I don't imagine it's much of a target, but why don't we try for that?

Mycroft Holmes: This is a private matter!
Sherlock Holmes: John stays.
Mycroft Holmes: This is family!
Sherlock Holmes: That's why he stays!

Mrs. Hudson: Would you like a cup of tea?
Mycroft Holmes: Yes please.
Mrs. Hudson: The kettle's over there.

Mycroft Holmes: We're not going to discuss this are we? I'm sorry doctor watson you are a fine man in many respects.Make your goodbyes and shoot him.Shoot him.
Dr. John Watson: What?
Mycroft Holmes: Shoot Dr Watson.There's no question who has to continue from here,it's us.You and me.Whatever lies here requires brain power,Sherlock,not sentiment.Don't prolong his agony,shoot him.
Dr. John Watson: Do I get a say in this?
Mycroft Holmes: Today,we are soldiers.Soldiers die for their country.I regret Doctor Watson,that privilege is now yours.
Dr. John Watson: Shit,he's right.He is,in fact,right.
Mycroft Holmes: Make it swift.No need to prolong his agony.Get it over with and we can get to work.Huh-huhh.oh,God! I should have expected this.Pathetic.You always were the slow one.The idiot.That's why I always despised you.You shame us all.You shame the family name.Now,for once for your life,do the right thing.Put this stupid little man out of all our misery.Shoot him.
Sherlock Holmes: Stop it.
Mycroft Holmes: Look at him.What is he?Nothing more than a distraction ,a little scrap of ordinariness for you to impress,to dazzle with your cleverness.You'll find another.
Sherlock Holmes: Please for God's sake,just stop it.
Mycroft Holmes: Why?
Sherlock Holmes: Because,on balance even your Lady Bracknell was more convincing.Ignore everything he just said,he's being kind.He's trying to make it easy for me to kill him.Which is why this is going to be so much harder.
Mycroft Holmes: You said you liked my lady Bracknell.
Dr. John Watson: Sherlock,Don't.
Mycroft Holmes: It's not your decision,Dr Watson.Not in the face though,please.I promised my brain to the Royal Society.
Sherlock Holmes: Where would you suggest?
Mycroft Holmes: Well,I suppose there is a heart somewhere inside me.I don't imagine it's much of a target,but why don't we try for that?
Dr. John Watson: I won't allow this.
Mycroft Holmes: This is my fault.Moriarty.
Sherlock Holmes: Moriarty?
Mycroft Holmes: Her Christmas treat.Five minutes conversation with Jim Moriarty five years ago.
Sherlock Holmes: What did they discuss?
Mycroft Holmes: Five minutes conversation... unsupervised.
Sherlock Holmes: Huhh
Mycroft Holmes: Goodbye,brother mine.No flowers.My request.

Dr. John Watson: There's a place for people like you, the desperate, the terrified, the ones with nowhere else to run.
Mycroft Holmes: What place?
Dr. John Watson: 221B Baker Street.


"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Greek Interpreter (#2.2)" (1985)
Mycroft Holmes: Look at those two men, Sherlock. What do you make of them?
Sherlock Holmes: Of the billiard-marker and the other?
Mycroft Holmes: Precisely.

Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock has all the energy in the family.

Mycroft Holmes: Come in, Sherlock! Come in, sir! You don't expect such energy from me, do you, Sherlock, hmm?
Sherlock Holmes: How did you get here?
Mycroft Holmes: I passed you while you were in the telegraph office.

Mycroft Holmes: I'm not built for running, Sherlock.

Mycroft Holmes: I believe this is your revolver, sir.
[holds it to criminal's head]


"Sherlock: The Abominable Bride (#4.0)" (2016)
Dr. John Watson: [to Mycroft, regarding his eating habits] Well, now that you mention it, this level of consumption is incredibly injurious to your health, your heart...
Sherlock Holmes: No need to worry on that score, Watson.
Dr. John Watson: No?
Sherlock Holmes: There's only a large cavity where that organ should reside.
Mycroft Holmes: It's a family trait.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, I wasn't being critical.

Mycroft Holmes: I have access to the top level of the MI5 archive.
Mary Morstan: [already looking at that archive via her phone] Yep, that's where I'm looking.
Mycroft Holmes: What do you think of MI5 security?
Mary Morstan: I think it would be a good idea.

Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock, listen to me...
Sherlock Holmes: No, it only encourages you.
Mycroft Holmes: I'm not angry with you.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, that's a relief, I was really worried. No... hold on, I really wasn't.
Mycroft Holmes: I was there for you before. I'll be there for you again. I'll always be there for you. This was my fault.
Sherlock Holmes: It was nothing to do with you.
Mycroft Holmes: A week in a prison cell, I should have realised.
Sherlock Holmes: Realised what?
Mycroft Holmes: That, in your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy.

Dr. John Watson: You're gambling with your own life?
Mycroft Holmes: Why not? It's so much more exciting than gambling with others.


"Sherlock: The Six Thatchers (#4.1)" (2017)
Mycroft Holmes: Looks very fully functioning.
Sherlock Holmes: Is that the best you can do?
Mycroft Holmes: Sorry, I've never been very good with them.
Sherlock Holmes: Babies?
Mycroft Holmes: Humans...

Mycroft Holmes: Is that sentiment talking?
Sherlock Holmes: No, it's me.
Mycroft Holmes: Difficult to tell the difference these days.

Mycroft Holmes: I met her once.
Sherlock Holmes: Thatcher?
Mycroft Holmes: Rather arrogant, I thought.
Sherlock Holmes: YOU thought?
Mycroft Holmes: [laughs] I know!

Mycroft Holmes: Remember this, brother mine. Agents like Mary tend not to reach retirement age. They *get* retired, in a pretty permanent sort of way.
Sherlock Holmes: Not on my watch.


Sherlock Holmes and the Leading Lady (1991) (TV)
Mycroft Holmes: Thieves have stolen the plans and prototype for an electro-magnetic bomb detonator just as they were being purchased by Britain. The inventor died in an attempt to retrieve them. There is no way to recreate the device. The machine is so... appalling that only Britain can be trusted not to put it to use.

Sherlock Holmes: I think you should go to Viena yourself, Mycroft.
Mycroft Holmes: Come, Sherlock, you very well know that I am not the man to run here and there, to cross-question witnesses, to lie on my face with a lens to my eye, no! The preservation of the civilized world is at stake, and you, and you alone can save it.

Mycroft Holmes: How soon can you depart?
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, why are you not packing our bags?
Dr. Watson: Ah, yes!

Sherlock Holmes: Well I hope the Emperor Franz Joseph's desire for peace rub off on his ally, the Kaizer.
Mycroft Holmes: My own calculations suggest that a war of world wide proportions would have begun, had you not succeeded.
Dr. Watson: Absurd! Needless alarmism.
Mycroft Holmes: Doctor, I hope you're right. Good day.


"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Golden Pince-Nez (#1.3)" (1994)
Mycroft Holmes: [to Sherlock] Do you remember what Papa used to tell us when we were young? Eliminate the impossible and whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: No, this is the monastery's accounts dating to the early fifteenth century.
Mycroft Holmes: Mm, precisely what I thought.
Sherlock Holmes: But surely this has great political significance.
Mycroft Holmes: A matter of particular delicacy.

Sherlock Holmes: That's father's magnifying glass.
Mycroft Holmes: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: He gave it to you?
Mycroft Holmes: Mm.
Sherlock Holmes: How ironic.


Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Mycroft Holmes: [referring to Watson] You know, he's nothing like as slow witted as you've been leading me to believe, Sherly.

Mycroft Holmes: Good evening, Mrs Watson. I'm the other Holmes.
Mary Watson: You mean there's *two* of you? How marvelous! Could this evening get any better?

Mycroft Holmes: Where are you *going*, Stanley?


"Elementary: The Marchioness (#2.7)" (2013)
Sherlock Holmes: Could you just stay out of the eyeline?
Mycroft Holmes: You're joking. I was just standing here.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, that's the problem.

[Mycroft and Joan are eating at the dinner table, while Sherlock paces, poring over the case files]
Mycroft Holmes: [to Joan] I can't quite believe I'm going to say this to a grown man, but...
[to Sherlock]
Mycroft Holmes: Your food's getting cold.
[Joan snickers]

Sherlock Holmes: Joan Watson, this is Nigella Mason, my brother's former fiancee.
Dr. Joan Watson: Oh... oh! It's, uh, nice to meet you.
Nigella Lawson: Lovely to meet you.
Mycroft Holmes: Shall we?
Nigella Lawson: Yes.
[as she and Mycroft take their seats, Joan turns to Sherlock]
Dr. Joan Watson: [whispering] I'm confused. Didn't you and your brother's fiancee...?
Sherlock Holmes: Rut? Copulate? Engage in several bouts of vigorous sex? Yes, yes we did.


"Elementary: The Grand Experiment (#2.24)" (2014)
Sherlock Holmes: In my experience, the best frame-ups tend to terminate with the murder of the framee.
[Sherlock picks up Mycroft's car keys]
Mycroft Holmes: What are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: Proving a point. Your car. I looked it over on the way up here. It's an impressive vehicle. I particularly like the remote starter function.
[Sherlock presses a button on the remote, and the car promptly explodes]

Dr. Joan Watson: [at a safe house] Well, the good news is that this place is pretty secure, but if you're gonna be here for a few days, we're gonna have to get you some food.
Mycroft Holmes: "He has no ambition and no energy. He will not even go out of his way to verify his own solutions. He would rather be considered wrong than go to the trouble of proving himself right." Something I overheard Sherlock say to my father once. He was fifteen.
Dr. Joan Watson: I can't even picture him at fifteen.
Mycroft Holmes: It hurt, to be... assessed like that.
Dr. Joan Watson: He knows a lot. He doesn't know everything.
Mycroft Holmes: I could have followed father into business. I could have... followed Sherlock into his... passions, but I... wanted... this, I suppose.
Dr. Joan Watson: You are a success. You own restaurants all over Europe. And the things that you've done for your country...
Mycroft Holmes: Folly. Obviously. I should have said no when the agency approached me. But I remembered what Sherlock said, and I remembered my father failing to disagree. And I... I thought... I could prove, at least to myself, that I was... more than what they thought. Idiocy.


The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976)
Mycroft Holmes: Ah Jenkins, we shall need a cab.

Professor Moriarty: When must I - -- -Leave?
Mycroft Holmes: Now!


"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Bruce Partington Plans (#2.4)" (1988)
[last lines]
Mycroft Holmes: [In a celebratory mood] There's an R in the month, and the Diogenes Club has the most excellent oysters. I should like both you gentlemen to be my guests. Come along, Sherlock.

Mycroft Holmes: All my instincts are against this explanation, and yours too, I think. We are not brothers for nothing.


"Sherlock: The Lying Detective (#4.2)" (2017)
Mycroft Holmes: What's he doing? Why is he just wandering about like a fool?
Lady Smallwood: She died, Mycroft. He's probably still in shock.
Mycroft Holmes: Everybody dies. It's the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do. How can it still come as a surprise to people?

Lady Smallwood: Here.
Mycroft Holmes: What's this?
Lady Smallwood: My number.
Mycroft Holmes: I already have your number.
Lady Smallwood: My PRIVATE number.
Mycroft Holmes: Why would I need that?
Lady Smallwood: I don't know, maybe you'd like a drink sometime.
Mycroft Holmes: Of what?
Lady Smallwood: Up to you - call me.


"Sherlock: The Great Game (#1.3)" (2010)
Sherlock Holmes: How's Sarah, John? How was the Lilo?
Mycroft: Sofa, Sherlock. It was the sofa.
Sherlock Holmes: [glancing back at John] Oh, yes, of course.
Dr. John Watson: How...? Oh, nevermind.

Mycroft: Think about it, Sherlock. Don't make me order you.
Sherlock Holmes: I'd like to see you try.


A Study in Terror (1965)
Sherlock Holmes: My dear Mycroft, this is a surprise! Watson, some sherry... Is this a social call?
Mycroft Holmes: Yes, yes, oh yes, purely social.
[pause]
Mycroft Holmes: How are you?
Sherlock Holmes: Very well.
[pause]
Sherlock Holmes: Well, now that the social call is over, hadn't we better get down to business?

Mycroft Holmes: For Heaven's sake, stop sawing away on that infernal instrument! It was a sad day when Mother gave it to you, a sad day for her, a sad day for you, a sad day for us all... What I cannot understand is why, since you've had that violin with you so long, you never learned to play!


The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970)
Mycroft Holmes: And this is my brother Sherlock, ma'am.
Queen Victoria: Ah, yes! Sherlock Holmes. We have been following your exploits with great interest.
Holmes: Thank you, ma'am.
Queen Victoria: Are you engaged in one of your fascinating cases at the moment?
Holmes: In a manner of speaking, ma'am.
Queen Victoria: When can we expect to read Dr Watson's account of the case?
Holmes: I hope never, ma'am. It has not been one of my more successful endeavours.


"Elementary: Art in the Blood (#2.23)" (2014)
Sherlock Holmes: You're telling me you're British intelligence, and you've managed to keep that from me for over a decade?
Mycroft Holmes: [dry sarcasm] Because we're so close.


"Elementary: Step Nine (#2.1)" (2013)
Sherlock Holmes: Fatty, this is Watson. Watson, this is Fatty.
Mycroft Holmes: Fatty?
[pats his stomach]
Mycroft Holmes: I'd say I've slimmed down quite a bit, wouldn't you?
Sherlock Holmes: Lap band?
Mycroft Holmes: Exercise.
Sherlock Holmes: Exercise requires energy and ambition, and you've never had either.


"Sherlock: The Sign of Three (#3.2)" (2014)
Mycroft Holmes: Oh, Sherlock. What do we say about coincidence?
Sherlock Holmes: The universe is rarely so lazy.