Effy Stonem
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Quotes for
Effy Stonem (Character)
from "Skins" (2007)

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"Skins: Effy (#2.7)" (2008)
Madame Deluca: And what emotion have you chosen to depict?
Effy Stonem: Anger, Jealousy, Bitterness, Tiredness, Hope, Lust, Love.
Madame Deluca: A veritable feast. So where is it?
Effy Stonem: It's everywhere.
Madame Deluca: My dear girl, I'm not sure I understand.
Effy Stonem: Its conceptual. You just can't see it.
Madame Deluca: Your saying you haven't done it?
Effy Stonem: No I'm saying you can't see it.

Effy Stonem: Love, love, love... what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Pandora: Your brother is really nice.
Effy Stonem: He's not nice. He's amazing.

Pandora: Hi, mum. Yeah, we're just picking up.
[lowers the phone and talks to Effy]
Pandora: She wants to know what we're picking up.
Effy Stonem: Drugs.
Pandora: [to her mother] Salad.

Effy Stonem: Why bother?
Tony Stonem: With what?
Effy Stonem: Caring about people.
Tony Stonem: [walking slowly up to her, then muttering in her ear] You don't fool me, Effy Stonem.

Effy Stonem: You don't understand, do you, Ton? As long as the phone keeps ringing, she's still there.

"Skins: Pandora (#3.4)" (2009)
Pandora: [phone rings] Morning, mum... yeah, thanks. Super-duper great night at the youth centre. I made soup, we prayed and recycled socks. Soup - for the homeless. They love soup. Um, cream of mushroom... Okey-dokey. Effy says howdy doody. See you later, alligator.
Jim Stonem: Did you just...? That was a pack of lies.
Pandora: Oh, you can't tell my mum the truth. She'd only do agony flip and go ra-ra.
Jim Stonem: Is she speaking English?
Effy Stonem: She means the truth hurts, Dad. it's for her own good.
Jim Stonem: Oh...

Angela: Effy!We meet at last.
Effy Stonem: Yes.
Angela: Pandora has told me so much about you.
Pandora: Yeah, you know, Eff - your missionary work.
Effy Stonem: Yes, I try and do as much of that as I can.
Angela: That's good. There's so many bad things in the world. Boys and drugs, guns, alcohol. Boys. Evil things. I'm glad Pandora's found a channel she can pour her energy into.
Effy Stonem: Well, yes, all the seamen like her.
Angela: Seamen?
Effy Stonem: Oh, yes. Loads of seamen. Some of them are homeless as well. We'd all love to see Pandora get her own missionary position.
Angela: Right...

Effy Stonem: Pandora, why are we friends? Do you ever wonder?
Pandora: Well, that's super easy. You're my pal because you're the coolest ever, and I'm yours because I'll totally do anything you say and none of your boyfriends ever want to surf me cos I'm useless.
Effy Stonem: That's it?
Pandora: Yeah.

Effy Stonem: Pandora, why are we friends? Do you ever wonder?
Pandora Moon: Well, that's super easy. You're my pal because you're the coolest ever, and I'm yours because I'll totally do anything you say and none of your boyfriends ever want to surf me cos I'm useless.
Effy Stonem: That's it?

"Skins: JJ (#3.7)" (2009)
Effy Stonem: Thanks for loving me.
JJ: No problem.

JJ: I love you.
Effy Stonem: Everybody loves me.

"Skins: Effy (#3.8)" (2009)
Freddie: [loudly, about Katie] So what, she pulled your hair, so you smashed her head open?
Effy Stonem: It was an accident! I was tripping, she choked me, I couldn't breathe.
Freddie: I can't see any bruises! I can't see nine fucking stitches!

"Skins: Katie (#4.4)" (2010)
Effy Stonem: Katie!
Katie: What are you doing here?
Effy Stonem: Have a drink with us.
Katie: Is that a joke?
Effy Stonem: Katie I...
Katie: You haven't changed, I can see straight through you.
Effy Stonem: Likewise. You ever gonna let that smile falter?
Katie: Only when yours does.
Candy: Sweetheart I've run out of fags, you'll need to run along and go get some more.
Katie: One, I'm not your fucking maid. Two, I don't work for you, so you'll have to run along and get your own fags sweetheart.
[Candy pushes Katie into Freddie's lap]
Candy: Swallow or spit, girlfriend?
[Katie follows Candy and trips her]
Candy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
[Katie punches Candy in the face]
Katie: I am Katie Fucking Fitch, who the fuck are you?

"Skins: Freddie (#3.5)" (2009)
Freddie: We'd be good together don't you think?
Effy Stonem: No.
Freddie: Why not?
Effy Stonem: Because I'll break your heart.
Freddie: Maybe I'll break yours.
Effy Stonem: Nobody breaks my heart.

"Skins: Everyone (#3.1)" (2009)
Freddie McLair: [standing next to Effy, she closes her locker and looks at him] Hi.
Effy Stonem: [turns to face him] Hi.
Freddie McLair: You don't mind if I take this locker?
[nodding to a locker next to Effy's]
Effy Stonem: You can take anything if you want it enough.
Freddie McLair: Great. Everything's new I suppose we should probably, like, you know, all get to know each other.
Effy Stonem: Why?
Freddie McLair: Well um... I don't know. You definitely looked at me this morning, twice. And I just thought, you know, maybe we could get to know each other.
Effy Stonem: I look at lots of people. That doesn't mean I want to get to know them.
[starts to walk away, but turns back]
Effy Stonem: Do you want me to want to get to know you?
Freddie McLair: I, er, I wouldn't mind.
Effy Stonem: Thing is, they want to get to know me too.
Freddie McLair: [Freddie looks over to Cook and JJ, turning back to look at Effy] They're just wankers.
Effy Stonem: They're your best friends.
Freddie McLair: OK, so they're my best friends.
Effy Stonem: That makes it complicated, doesn't it.
Freddie McLair: I, um, I was hoping not.
[Effy nods]
Freddie McLair: I'm Freddie.
[putting out his hand to shake]
Effy Stonem: [Effy ignores this and walks back around him to her locker] Tell you what, Freddie.
[Effy gets a piece of paper out of her locker and hands it to Freddie]
Effy Stonem: Fill in a form.
Freddie McLair: What's this?
[Freddie takes the paper]
Effy Stonem: A list of all the things were not allowed to do at this college. Like that head director girl said before your bestest mate got his cock out. I was gonna see if I could tick 'em all before the end of the day, but this is much more interesting. First one to fill that out gets to... get to know me. And no cheating, I'll need evidence.
Freddie McLair: OK.
Effy Stonem: [Effy walking off] 'cause I won't fuck a cheat.
Freddie McLair: [calling after her] Sorry?
[Effy looks back at him, then carries on walking]

"Skins: Finale (#1.9)" (2007)
Tony Stonem: Just you and me, sis.
Effy Stonem: Fucking wanker.
Tony Stonem: Eff, what are you talking about?
Effy Stonem: Michelle.
Tony Stonem: I tried.
Effy Stonem: No. Wanker.
Tony Stonem: I said sorry!
Effy Stonem: Wanker.
Tony Stonem: Effy. I liked it better when you didn't talk.
Effy Stonem: Wanker.

"Skins: Effy (#1.8)" (2007)
Effy Stonem: Sometimes I think I was born backwards. You know, come out my mum the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards. The people I should love, I hate. And the people I hate...