Tony Stonem
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Quotes for
Tony Stonem (Character)
from "Skins" (2007)

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"Skins: Maxxie and Anwar (#1.6)" (2007)
Tony: What happened?
Maxxie: Anwar's just switched about me being... y'know
Tony: Blonde?
Maxxie: No!
Tony: Short?
Maxxie: Gay!
Tony: [pause] Shall I give you head?
Maxxie: What?
Tony: [grins] Cheer you up
Maxxie: For fuck's sake! You're supposed to be my friend Tony and I come in here with a problem, okay?
[Tony kisses Maxxie]
Maxxie: You fuck
Tony: We're in Russia! I wanna try something new
Maxxie: I'm, not a hobby Tony. You're not taking up canoeing here
Tony: I've been canoeing
Maxxie: What about Michelle?
Tony: Loves canoeing

Sid Jenkins: All right, Maxx?
Maxxie: No.
Tony: Why?
Maxxie: Well, Anwar's decided to become a Muslim.
Sid Jenkins: What, like, more Muslim than he was already?
Maxxie: A bit more Muslim, yeah.

[after Tony goes down on Maxxie]
Maxxie: Tony... we finally found something you're not actually good at.
Tony: What?
Maxxie: Good night, Tony. I'll find somewhere else to sleep.
Tony: What?

[the morning after Michelle has seen Tony and Maxxie together]
Michelle Richardson: Tony...
Tony: Yes, Nips?
Michelle Richardson: Have you got something to tell me?
Tony: Um, I don't know. I like your hair?
[Michelle stares at him in disbelief]
Tony: No? Your top's nice? I love you?
Tony: Any of those?
Michelle Richardson: No.

Anwar: Now what?
Angie: Just walk on!
Anwar: I'm trying to but they just look so disappointed that I'm not a terrorist.
Tony Stonem: Well, you're a very dull Muslim, Anwar.

Tony Stonem: I'll give you head. That's friendship.

Sid: I think I'm about to deliver.
Tony Stonem: Great, just in time for Heathrow security.

Anwar Kharral: Now what?
Angie: Just walk off!
Anwar Kharral: I'm trying, it's just that they look so disappointed when i'm not a terrorist.
Tony Stonem: Well, you're a very dull Muslim, Anwar.
[Everyone stares at him]
Tony Stonem: Very dull, indeed.

"Skins: Tony (#1.1)" (2007)
Michelle: Cassie, you remember Sid, right?
Cassie: Yeah, erm, wow, lovely... No. But, I like that you're funny looking, it's cute. Like wow, man.
Tony: How's the treatment going, Cassie?
Cassie: Oh, it's cool. I wear a white dress and now I can eat yoghurt, cup a soup and hazelnuts now. If I'm not sick, they let me play with the cats. Yeah, it's like... hazy days, you know?
Tony: That's encouraging.
Cassie: Oh, thank you! You're so nice.
[She starts to kiss Tony]
Michelle: Cass! Cass!

Tony: Who's stupid enough to fuck Sid?
Michelle: Cassie.
Sid: She's still in hospital.
Michelle: No, she's not. They let her out. She's just not allowed to handle knives.

Michelle: Cassie's great in the sack, as long as she's not hungry.
Sid: Who says?
Michelle, Tony: Everyone.

Jim Stonem: Fucker, how long you gonna be in there?
Tony: Not long now.
Jim Stonem: You fucking bollocking twat fuck, how come I'm never allowed to use my own sodding bathroom?

Maxxie: I've gotta get these moves ready. Y'know, for the show
Tony: Do they have tap dancing in Death of a Salesman?
Maxxie: It needs a number. I've always said that.

"Skins: Everyone (#2.10)" (2008)
Michelle Richardson: We were good, weren't we?
Tony Stonem: We were better than that.

Tony Stonem: Three things, Sid. 1: Get rid of the hat, it makes you look retarded.
Sid Jenkins: Right.
Tony Stonem: [Tony kisses his forehead] 2: I always loved you the best, Sid. 3... I can't think of a three.
[Tony hugs him]

Tony Stonem: She's thin, she's blond, she says wow a lot.

Sid Jenkins: New York? Why would I wanna go to New York?
Tony Stonem: She's thin, she's blonde, and she says "Wow..." a lot.

"Skins: Sid (#1.5)" (2007)
Tony: You know how subatomic particles don't obey physical laws? They act according to chance, chaos, coincidence. They run into each other in the middle of the universe somewhere, and bang! Energy! That's the great thing about the universe. It's unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun

Tony Stonem: [to Sid] Is that a picture of my girlfriend?

Tony Stonem: Yes grasshopper. Sensei say that boy must wait twelve hours before approaching girl on rebound.

Sid: You fucking freak me out sometimes.
Tony Stonem: But it's never dull is it?

"Skins: Tony (#2.6)" (2008)
[Beth softly gasps while she gets a tattoo]
Tony Stonem: Does it hurt?
Beth: Beautifully.

Toby: Can I interest you in some hashish?
Tony Stonem: I'm not really supposed to. Drugs do odd things to me at the moment.
Toby: Aren't they supposed to?

"Skins: Michelle (#1.7)" (2007)
Tony: How long you're gonna keep this up for?
Michelle: You know what? I never realized how fucking knackering is to know you, Tone.
Tony: Is fun, though.
Michelle: You think? Anyway, what you want?
[he hesitates]
Michelle: You know what? Tell me you love me!
Tony: You know I love you, nips.
Michelle: No! Tell me like you'd die for me! Like nothing else matters, like your world stops turning because of me! Like you mean it, you little shit! Go on.
Tony: I mean... c'mon.
Michelle: Wrong answer, Tony. Fuck off, I'm busy

Chris Miles: [sees Tony beat up on both sides of his face] Oh, she got you good, Tone!
Tony Stonem: [points to the left of his face] That wasn't Michelle.
Tony Stonem: [points to the left of his face] This was.
Tony Stonem: [Michelle walks in] Hey, Nips.
Tony Stonem: [Michelle slams her books on Chris' table] You people have got issues. If anyone else wants to take a pop, then please, go for it now.
Tony Stonem: [a random girl slaps him] Better out than in.

"Skins: Effy (#2.7)" (2008)
Tony Stonem: She was my girlfriend.
Sid Jenkins: She wasn't your girlfriend. You didn't want her.
Tony Stonem: Well, now I do, so fuck you.

Effy Stonem: Why bother?
Tony Stonem: With what?
Effy Stonem: Caring about people.
Tony Stonem: [walking slowly up to her, then muttering in her ear] You don't fool me, Effy Stonem.

"Skins: Effy (#1.8)" (2007)
Sid Jenkins: You know what, Tony? Sometimes I don't know why we're friends anymore.
Tony Stonem: It's weird, isn't it? I'm from Mars, you're from Venus. I do things, you worry about them. I sleep with girls, you persuade them to attempt suicide.

Sid Jenkins: Hang on, you want to nick my dad's car? Why can't we nick your dad's instead?
Tony Stonem: Because Sid, my dad has central locking, sophisticated alarm system, and probably thinks a spell in prison would do me good. Whereas your dad has a 20 year-old car, neighborhood watch, and won't prosecute.

"Skins: Cassie (#1.2)" (2007)
Sid Jenkins: I was just chatting to Cass, Tony.
Tony Stonem: Hey Cass. How was dippy world?
Sid Jenkins: She's better. She just got discharged from The Clinic.
Tony Stonem: Jesus.
Sid Jenkins: What?
Tony Stonem: Don't you ever wash?
Sid Jenkins: ...That's like, lipstick!
Tony Stonem: Yeah man. The essence of women. Or one at least. So whose the lucky lady?
Sid Jenkins: That's like someone kissed me!
Tony Stonem: Can't believe you haven't washed man. You stink!
Sid Jenkins: Somebody kissed me!
Tony Stonem: Yeah mate. But that's a complete total operator error, because you stink!
Sid Jenkins: I didn't have time.
Tony Stonem: Time? I've been home, showered, done my chi, had a wank, subtly undermined my dad, put new cloths on and here I am, with my English course work.
Sid Jenkins: English course work... uggh.
Tony Stonem: You know what Sid, sometimes I wonder why you even bother to get up in the morning. You're such a complete total fucking waste of time and...
[Cassie pushes a lunch tray to knock a soda on to Tony's lap]
Tony Stonem: AWW SHIT!
Cassie Ainsworth: Wow, Tony. Bummer. It looks like you pissed yourself.

"Skins: Finale (#1.9)" (2007)
Tony Stonem: Just you and me, sis.
Effy Stonem: Fucking wanker.
Tony Stonem: Eff, what are you talking about?
Effy Stonem: Michelle.
Tony Stonem: I tried.
Effy Stonem: No. Wanker.
Tony Stonem: I said sorry!
Effy Stonem: Wanker.
Tony Stonem: Effy. I liked it better when you didn't talk.
Effy Stonem: Wanker.

"Skins: Sketch (#2.2)" (2008)
Michelle: [Michelle sees Tony with Abigail] What?
Abigail Stock: Princess Leia, right? Jinx! You look so... home made. Doesn't she, Tony? Gloriously quaint.
Tony Stonem: Hi Michelle.
Michelle: You dressed as Luke?... For her?
Tony Stonem: Well... I guess I... Did I?
Michelle: Tony...
[walks away]
Anwar: Do you think either of them has actually seen Star Wars? You reckon they know Luke's her brother?