Luanne Platter
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Quotes for
Luanne Platter (Character)
from "King of the Hill" (1997)

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"King of the Hill: Wings of the Dope (#3.23)" (1999)
Luanne Platter: Maybe I should drop out of beauty school.
Peggy Hill: What? Luanne, you have wanted to go to beauty school since you were six! You have wanted to graduate beauty school since you were twelve! If you give up on school, honey, you are giving up on your dreams. "Education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen." - Peggy Hill.

Luanne Platter: He better not be guardianin' some other girl.

Buckley: Before I go, could I have one last kiss?
Luanne Platter: Mmm-hmm.
[She nods and kisses him; he gets too grabby and she gently pushes him off]
Luanne Platter: No, that part's over.
Buckley: Why?
Luanne Platter: Chicken thigh.


"King of the Hill: Keeping Up with Our Joneses (#1.10)" (1997)
Peggy Hill: Only trailer park trash smoke nowadays. Do you want to look like trailer park trash?
Luanne Platter: That's not fair. I do not smoke!
[She runs off crying]
Peggy Hill: [Running after her] Oh, honey, you are not trailer park trash just because you grew up in a trailer and your mama's in prison.

Luanne Platter: Don't you know that more people die of smoking than die of war in Vietnam every day?


"King of the Hill: Death Picks Cotton (#12.5)" (2007)
Luanne: Finish your vegetables!
Bobby Hill: They're aren't any vegetables.
Luanne: Don't talk back to your pretend mother!

Lucky: We tried being strict, and we tried being fun, maybe we should try being both at the same time.
Luanne: Bobby, get in here! Bobby, go wash up or you don't get any supper!
Lucky: Surprise! Your first lighter.
Luanne: Go to your room!
Lucky: I'll bring you some pudding.
Luanne: Floss!
Lucky: Tag, you're it.
Bobby Hill: I can't take this anymore!
[Runs off]
Lucky: We're gonna be the best parents ever.


"King of the Hill: Meet the Manger Babies (#2.12)" (1998)
Luanne Platter: [trying to figure out an ending for her puppet show] Oh...! No, that won't work.
Hank: [whispering] They jimmy the lock with a coat hanger.
Luanne Platter: What?
Hank: They jimmy the lock with...
[loudly]
Hank: Uh, I'll save you, Manger Babies.
Luanne Platter: You will?
Hank: Yes. 'Cause I'm the assistant manager of this movie theater. I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories, and you
[the usher]
Hank: are fired!
Luanne Platter: [as puppet] Oh thank you, assistant manager. How can we ever repay you?
Hank: By never forgetting this lesson: sneaking into the movies is wrong. As wrong as spilling juice on a new carpet.

Luanne Platter: [trying to figure out an ending for her puppet show] Oh...! No, that won't work.
Hank: [whispering] They jimmy the lock with a coat hanger.
Luanne Platter: What?
Hank: They jimmy the lock with...
[Loudly]
Hank: Uh, I'll save you, Manger Babies.
Luanne Platter: You will?
Hank: Yes. 'Cause I'm the assistant manager of this movie theater. I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories, and you
[the usher]
Hank: are fired!
Luanne Platter: [as puppet] Oh thank you, assistant manager. How can we ever repay you?
Hank: By never forgetting this lesson: sneaking into the movies is wrong. As wrong as spilling juice on a new carpet.


"King of the Hill: Lucky See, Monkey Do (#13.8)" (2009)
Luanne: Myrna says that everything's black and white and red. That will both soothe and stimulate the baby.
Peggy Hill: I see. I wonder if that's why the Nazis chose those colors?

Luanne: We're going to listen to Myrna now, Aunt Peggy. It's not that we don't love you, it's just that we want our baby to live.


"King of the Hill: Propane Boom (#2.23)" (1998)
Luanne Platter: [to Hank] Unca Hank what does BTU mean?
Hank Hill: British Thermal Unit.
Luanne Platter: Oh, so there isn't any bacon in it?


"King of the Hill: Westie Side Story (#1.7)" (1997)
Luanne Platter: You know, at the beauty academy they teach us that people aren't black or white or yellow or red, but their hair can be.


"King of the Hill: Jon Vitti Presents: 'Return to La Grunta' (#3.16)" (1999)
Middle-Aged Drink Girl: They think 'cause I'm a woman I'm supposed to be "Miss Merry Sunshine". Well the hell with that!
Luanne Platter: I had no idea you were a woman.


"King of the Hill: Bill, Bulk and the Body Buddies (#11.11)" (2007)
Luanne Platter: His arm's having a heart attack!


"King of the Hill: The Wedding of Bobby Hill (#3.14)" (1999)
Bobby Hill: Luanne, I know we've had our differences but I was kinda hoping we could make up and not get married.
Luanne Platter: Uncle Hank, Bobby's trying to get out of marrying me.
Hank: Bobby, you cut that out.


"King of the Hill: Pretty, Pretty Dresses (#3.9)" (1998)
Bill Dauterive: [trying to get his iguana to eat] Come on, come on Lenore!
Peggy Hill: You named it Lenore?
Bill Dauterive: Well yeah I thought it looked like Lenore, I think he's just not hungry right now I mean with so many new people
[stares at Luanne]
Luanne Platter: Um, should I leave?
Bill Dauterive: Thank you


"King of the Hill: Pigmalion (#7.9)" (2003)
[Luanne's crazed boyfriend has fallen into a pork processing machine]
Luanne Platter: Well, at least Trip seemed happy, and now he's in a better place.
Peggy Hill: Honey, Trip had a mental breakdown and is now a sausage. That's not a better place.


"King of the Hill: Movin' on Up (#4.16)" (2000)
Dale Gribble: [disguised quite poorly as a repairman who is supposed to be deaf] I couldn't help but overhear your uncle's bad advice
Luanne Platter: What?
Dale Gribble: [Removing his fake mustache] Aha shi-shi-sha!, it is I Dale Gribble master of a thousand faces you've just met face number two the deaf electrician!,the only thing your roommates i.e. enemies will understand is fear, i.e. psychological warfare, i.e dirty tricks, it worked for Dick Nixon.
Luanne Platter: Well, but...
Dale Gribble: [Interrupting her] For example get a hold of some goat's blood, taint that blood, then when your roommates need blood give them the tainted goat's blood, it's the perfect plan.
Luanne Platter: I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want them to do the dishes.
Dale Gribble: Oh, well in that case stack the dishes in the shower that's the way Nancy get's me to do 'em.


"King of the Hill: As Old as the Hills (#3.25)" (1999)
Bobby Hill: There's no way you're going with me to grandpa's. This is the last year he can spoil me, and I'm not willing to share. Besides, he doesn't even know your name.
Luanne Platter: Yes, he does. I'm Missy Melons...


"King of the Hill: Texas City Twister (#2.2)" (1997)
Luanne Platter: Do you think that Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peggy?
Peggy Hill: Get out of my mind, Luanne.


"King of the Hill: Jumpin' Crack Bass (#2.5)" (1997)
Luanne Platter: I just do yoga.
Luanne Platter: I put my feet up behind my head, want me to show you?
Hank Hill: AAAHHHH! Just keep your leg below your waist for God's sake.


"King of the Hill: Death of a Propane Salesman (#3.1)" (1998)
Peggy Hill: [Attempting to cheer up Luanne after she had been caught in an explosion and lost her hair] Luanne honey look it's two of your old friends the manger babies.
Luanne Platter: [Pouting] Sock puppets are for babies, in the real world beauty fades and penguins die a cold horrible death!